*Happy New Year 2021*
Allah yasa mun shiga a sa'a ameen

*💔 JIDDA 💔*
    
    *By*

*Maman Maama*

Bismillahir Rahmanir Rahim

Assalamu alaikum masoyana da masoyan littattafai na. Kamar yadda nayi alkawari tun kafin in fara *Tagwaye* cewa zanyi su su biyu da *Jidda* to alhamdulillah an kammala Tagwaye ga kuma Jidda nan yazo muku, ina kuma fatan zaku karbe shi kamar yadda kuka karbi Tagwaye koma fiye da haka. 

Dan dai idan nace *Jidda* is a must read for every woman zai zamanto kamar naso kaina da yawa ne, amma gaskiya in baki karanta *Jidda* ba zan iya cewa an barki a baya. It is going to be a hit, that I promise you. 

Tafiyar *Jidda* da banbanci da sauran littattafai na, banbancin kuwa shine about 70% na labarin Jidda is based on true life events, musamman daga farkon sa zuwa tsakiyar sa, karshen sa ne kawai zai zama fiction yadda zai fi kayatar da ku. I gave this book my all, na rubuta shine from the very depth of my heart. Sometimes ina murmushi, while other times ina share hawaye, so get ready to do both.

Littafin Jidda na siyarwa ne kamar yadda na riga na fada tun kafin fara Tagwaye. Da farko nayi niyyar sai na gama gabaki daya zan fara posting, but I found out cewa ba zan iya ba, without your motivation I lost my courage, wannan ya tabbatar min idan babu readers babu *Maman Maama* dan haka zamu fara a haka. 

Sai dai ba za'a ke samun posting kullum ba saboda alhamdulillah kullum responsibilities suna kara yi min yawa ne, I guess wannan shine girman ko? Lol. Za'a ke fashin kwana dai dai, misali in akayi Saturday ba za'a yi Sunday ba sai Monday. Yes, nasan wadansu ba zasu iya jira ba and I advise them to wait sai anyi nisa ko kuma ma su bari a gama sai su karbi document. Please in kinsan ba zaki iya jira ba kar ki biya, don't pay and be pressuring me please. Fashin kwana dai dai so that you will have well arranged and well edited episodes insha Allah. I assure you that ba zakuyi dana sanin siyan Jidda ba, it is going to be one of your best dan for me *Jidda* already ya kere wa saura a zuciya ta.

Ga masu son siya zasu iya turo kudin su #300 zuwa wannan account din

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Allah yasa mu gane ameen.

Akwai 18 free pages insha Allah

Asha karatu lfy

*Episode One........The Beginning and the End of Me*

Free page

A duk lokacin dana duba rayuwata, kamar in inaso in bada labarina, na rasa dalilin da yasa bana iya farawa ta farko na, bana iya farawa ta lokacin da aka haife ni ko kuma ince lokacin da na bude idona na ganni a duniya. A kowanne lokaci in na duba bayana ina farawa ne da ranar dana fara ganinsa, a gurina wannan ranar, wannan hour din, wannan minute din da kuma wannan second din da idanuwan sa suka shiga cikin nawa a lokacin ne rayuwata ta fara. A lokacin ne kuma rayuwata ta kare. 

Ranar visiting day ce a makarantar yammata ta garin Taura dake jahar Jigawa. Kasancewar yan ss3 ne kadai a makarantar suna zaman extension wanda ake yi lokacin zana jarabawar karshe ta secondary ya saka makarantar take shiru ba kamar sauran ranakun visiting ba. 

Ni da babbar kawata a lokacin, Mufida, munyi duk abinda yake al'ada ta dalibai dan wannan ranar, munyi wanki da guga da kitso, sannan muka tashi da wuri mukayi wanka muka yi kwalliya dai dai irin wacce ake barin dalibai suyi sannan muka fita class area tare da sauran ɗalibai dan jiran tsammani, duk da dai muna saka ran tabbas za'a zo mana visiting daga gidajen mu dan ba'a taba fashin zuwa mana ba sai dai in da kwakwkwaran dalili.

Can nesa muka samu benchi muka zauna, dan ba'a bari dalibi yaje gurin sai an kira shi sai su headgirl da kuma prefect on duty. Kasancewa ta health prefect kuma kasancewar ba duty na bane ranar yasa nayi zamana muna hira excitedly da Mufida. "Yaya Mukhtar yace min zaizo, yace tare da matarsa Aunty Halima ma zasu zo" Mufida tace "hmm. Ni bansan ma dawa dawa za'a zo min ba. Nasan dai Mama confirmed zata zo" 

Kiran sunana da mukaji anayi ya saka mukayi saurin juyawa cike da mamaki. Na kalli agogon fatar da yake hannuna, few minutes after ten, nooo there must be a mistake dan nasan yan gidan mu ko wanka basu gama yi ba balle girki balle har su dauko hanya daga kano balle su zo. "Hauwa'u Habib" aka sake kirana. Na mike ina kallon Baba mai kiran alkhairi da yake tsaye da takarda a hannunsa "Baba? Hauwa'u Habib da gaske?" 

Ya nuna min takardar, "karanta da kanki in kina ganin ban iya karatu ba" na girgiza kai na "akwai Hauwa Muhammad Habib, ko dai ita ce akayi mistake, ni ba yanzu zasu zo ba sai yamma suke zuwa" yayi gaba yana cewa "sai kije can ki gani ai, in bake din bace ba sai ki dawo ki kira waccan din" na gyada kai tare da binsa da sauri ina yiwa Mufida signal cewa ina zuwa, yana ta zabga sauri, ni kuma in akwai abinda ban iya ba to sauri ne, generally ma ni komai nawa a sanyaye nake yinsa tun daga magana har tafiya har komai. Da wahala kaji ni na daga murya. 

A gaban staffroom, inda few iyayen yara suka fara zuwa kuma mostly maza ne suka fara zuwa na hango motar Abban mu, nan take jikina yayi sanyi, shikenan ta faru ta kare anyiwa mai dami daya sata, shikenan Abba shi kadai yazo. A lokacin na ganshi ya fito daga staffroom yana duba agogon sa sannan ya dago kai briefly ya kalle ni yace "kiyi sauri mana! Kina tafiya kamar wadda kwai ya fashewa a ciki, sauri nake yi daurin aure ne dani a gumel shi yasa banzo da iyayenki ba"

Na durkusa a gabansa "Abba sannu da zuwa, ina kwana?" Bai amsa ba ya cigaba da magana "kiyi sauri ki dauki sakon ki in wuce, already ma na makara har goma ta wuce. Umman ki ce ta tsayar dani wai sai ta soya miki miya" ya karasa yana zagaya wa baya tare da bude booth, na bishi can na sake gaishe shi "Abba ina kwana?" Ya fito da kwalin indomie da bagko ya ajiye sannan yace "lafiya lau, ya karatun? Komai dai lafiya ko? Babu wata matsala ko?" 

Na gyada kai na automatically hawaye yana zubowa. Ya tsaya yana kallona, "kuka kuma? Wato kin fi son uwarki akai na ko? Shine kike kuka dan ni nazo uwarki bata zo ba ko?" Nayi saurin girgiza kai ina share hawayena. Wasu kuma sababbi suna replacing dinsu. Yace "kinga, sauri nake yi yanzu shi yasa ban taho dasu ba, kuma suna can suna rigimar tasu da suka saba. Ki bari in na koma gida, in mun sami albashi, sai in hado su da wani a cikin yayyenki ya kawo su ki gansu" 

Na sake share hawayen ina gyada kai, sannan nace "Abba ina Farhan?" Ya danyi murmushi yace "tana can tana kuka wai sai ta biyo ni, rigimammiyar yarinya kawai, duk halinku ai iri daya ne" sai kuma ya fara shafa aljihun sa "kinga na manta ma ta bani takarda in baki. Yar banza, ko me ta rubuta a ciki?" 

Ya dauko wata farar takarda daga aljihunsa ya miko min na karba ina dan murmushi kadan sai kuma hawaye suka biyo murmushin, ina ta burin ganin ummana da yanuwana, shi Abba ma yana daga can karshe a list din wadanda nake son gani. 

Ya sake mayar da hannun sa aljihu ya dauko 1000 ya miko min. "Kun kusa kammala wa ai, in kika lallaba kayan nan da kuma kudin nan zasu ishe ki. Sai ki dage da karatu dan naga kamar kinfi yanuwanki son karatun, gashi nan kaf yan uwanki mata babu wacce take morar karatun ta duk sun biye wa mazajensu sunyi zamansu suna zuba yaya. In kika dage kika ci ssce sai ki wuce kiyi nursing, ko Allah zai saka in mori kudina a kanki" 

Na gyada kai "insha Allah Abba" wayarsa ta fara kara, ya bude mota "kinga har an fara kirana a waya. Na tafi, in sunzo to....in kuma basu zo ba sai kun gama jarabawa" na ja baya ina daga masa hannu, bai ma lura ba yana magana a wayarsa har sai da ya juya mota sannan ya daga min hannu briefly ya wuce. 

Na sunkuya na dauki kwalin da hannu daya, na kuma dauki bagkon da daya hannun na fara tafiya a hankali zuwa hanyar hostel. Tun daga nesa Mufida ta hango ni, ta mike da sauri ta zo ta karbi kwalin hannuna "wai da gaske yan gidanku ne? Har sun tafi?" Maimakon in bata amsa sai sababbin hawaye suka biyo kuncina, ta ja bakinta tayi shiru muka cigaba da tafiya tare dan tasan in ta cigaba da jan maganar zan cigaba da kuka ne kuma daga nan in ba sa'a naci ba zan iya samun attack na asthma. 

Sai da muka je har daki muka zauna a kwanar mu sannan nace mata "Abba ne yazo shi kadai" na bata labari in brief na abinda ya faru. Ta bani hakuri tana kokarin yi min hira dan in manta sannan ta fara fito da kayan da aka kawo min tana sakawa a lokar kayan abincin mu. Ta dauko food flask guda biyu, daga maikon jikin dayan munsan miya ce a ciki, ta bude dayan sai ga taliya. 

Na danyi murmushi, Allah sarki Umma, na tabbatar shinkafa tayi niyyar dafa min dan tasan nafi son ta amma azalzalar Abba ya saka ta dafa taliya, nasan bai ma gaya mata cewa ba zai zo dasu ba sai da safe zata ga ya fito yace ta kawo sako zai taho. Na dauko takardar da Farhan ta rubuto min na bude na fara karantawa

Dear Sister
Abba yace ba zai zo damu ba, zanyi miki dan malele ma bai barni nayi ba yace ba zai jira ba. Kiyi hakuri insha Allah zan roki yaya Mukhtar ya kawo mu ni da Aunty Halima da Mammy da Amira. Akwai labari sosai, in gaya miki nayi sabon kamu a cikin invigilators din mu. Sai nazo zan baki labarin sa. 
Kar kiyi kuka.
Farhan

Murmushi nake yi ina karatawa amma ina zuwa gurin kar kiyi kuka sai na fara kukan, na rufe fuskata da takardar ina kuka ina missing yaruwata. Na rasa dalilin da yasa ita take day school ni kuma nake boarding duk da cewa set din mu daya da komai. 

Mufida ta zuba abinci muka ci sannan ta zuba wa duk yan dakin aka kai musu, muka yi alwala mukayi sallah sannan muka sake gyara fuskar mu muka koma class area dan yanzu ne aka fara zuwa sosai. Bamu dade da komawa ba kuwa ai gashi anzo kiran Mufida "Zainab Muhammad Gidado" ta mike da sauri tana murna, "dama wallahi motar can data shigo sai da jikina ya bani sune, irin motar Yaya Doctor" na dan yi murmushin takaici, wato yau sai dai inga kowa da yanuwansa banda ni. Ta ja hannuna "taho muje mana" na makale "kin san Malam Yakubu yana can, kar ya dizga ni a gaban mutane yace naje kwadayin jar miya" tayi dariya "dalla can, ke tsoro ne da ke, akwai mutane da yawa a gurin ba zai gane cewa ba'a kira ki ba"

Na dan sake yin jim, ni mutum ce mai bin doka da ka'ida tun ina yarinya, ina da rules akan kaina kuma ina da su akan wasu, sannan ina iyakacin kokari na na ganin ban yi stepping boundary ba ko wanne iri ne, uwa uba, ina matukar gudun wulakanci. Na kuma girgiza kaina. Ta jani da karfi "me zakiyi to in kin zauna din, sai dai kiyi ta kallon mutane suna shiga da fita? Ko kuma so kike ki koma daki kiyi ta kuka?" 

Tana maganar tana ja na ina tirjewa kamar uwa da rigimammiyar yarta, na san she meant no harm, tana so ta rage min jimamin rashin zuwan yan gidan mu. A haka muka je gurin da ta hango motar gidan su, muna zuwa gurin ta sake ni ta tafi gurin mahaifiyarta da gudu ta rungume ta "mamana oyoyo" sai kuma ta gaishe da amaryar babansu "sannu da zuwa Aunty" sannan ta juya kan sisters dinta biyu da aka zo dasu, Muhibbat da Muhsina, suka rungume juna, sai naji ina kewar nawa yanuwan, da yanzu muna nan muna hira abin mu, da yanzu Farhan ta bani labaran da ta ce zata bani na sabon saurayin da tayi. 

Na danyi kokarin gaishe da maman su Mufida amma duk hankalin su yana kan yarsu, sai naja baya na tsaya ina kallon su feeling awkward, feeling like a trespasser. Har na fara tunanin juyawa in koma sai Mufida ta gabatar dani "Mama ga Jidda fa, Jiddan da nake gaya muku" Mama ta juyo tayi assessing dina tun daga sama zuwa kasa, sannan kuma sai naga tayi murmushi da alama zuciyarta ta yarda da abinda idonta ya gani "a'a Jidda yan makaranta, ya karatu?" Na durkusa nayi gaisuwa ta biyu duk suka amsa min da sakakkiyar fuska, sannan muka shinfida tabarmar da suka zo da ita muka zauna suna ta hira ina dan saka baki kadan a inda naga sun sako dani. A dan lokacin na lura da wani abu, Maman su Mufida tana matukar son ƴaƴan ta kuma bata boyewa, kuma na lura auntyn su tana da kirki.

Ni dai ina zaune daga dan gefe kadan ina ta wasa da zaren tabarma da hannuna, ba wai rashin sabo da su ne ya saka na kasa sakewa ba. A'a, wani irin abu nake ji tun da nazo gurin, wani irin feeling na kamar ana kallona, wani irin kallo mai kaifin da nake jin kamar yana ratsa kayan jikina ya huda skin dina da tsoka ta da kashi na ya zarce har cikin zuciyata. Wannan yasa nayi ta gyara zama ina kuma gyara hijab dina amma na kasa jin dai dai, kuma na rasa a ina idanuwan da suke kallona suke.

Na kasa sakewa, nayi ta waige waige amma na kasa gane waye yake kallona. Maman su Mufida ce ta gane discomfort dina "Jidda kin ki sakin jikinki kina ta kalle kalle. Ko neman yan gidan ku kike yi?" Sai Mufida ta basu labarin zuwan Abba na, suka yi ta min dariya ni kuma naji kamar zanyi kuka. Aunty tace "kiyi hakuri kinji? Haka suke mazan nan, nima sanda ina makaranta bana son namiji yazo min visiting, boring" na gyada kai, at least ita ta fahimce ni. 

Na mike "zan koma ciki Mufida, sai kin taho" ta mike itama "bara in raka ki hanya to" Aunty tace "to kunga, ku tafi da kaya suna mota, shikenan kun huta" ambaton mota ya saka muka juya muka kalli motar a tare. And then I saw him and I saw the eyes. 

Yana zaune a cikin mota a seat din driver yayi adjusting mirror dai dai inda nake, daga ganin karkacewar mirror din kasan karkata shi akayi da niyya. Ina juyawa kuwa idona ya fada cikin nasa, bana ganinsa sosai, bana ganin jikinsa tunda ya juya bayansa, ba kuma na ganin fuskarsa gabaki daya tunda girman mirror din yayi wa fuskar kadan, sai dai idonsa kawai na gani wadanda suka sauka a cikin nawa. And I lost myself a cikin su. 

That second, that very second da idanuna suka shiga cikin nasa, wannan shine karshen rayuwata, karshen rayuwata a matsayin Jidda amma kuma farkon rayuwata a matsayin tasa. Last bugun da zuciyata tayi kafin in waiga shine last bugawar da tayi for me, the next bugun da tayi is for him, kuma daga lokacin ta cigaba da bugawa for him. Daga wannan last bugun ta tashi daga tawa ta koma tasa, ta daina bin duk wani umarni na sai dai umarnin sa, ta damka mishi mulkinta tun ma kafin ya nemi takara ballantana har ayi zabe. What a selfish heart!

Nayi kokarin cire idanuna daga cikin nasa amma na kasa, naji kamar Mufida tayi magana amma kwakwalwa ta bata iya assessing abinda tace ba balle ta bada ma'ana, sai dai naga motsinta ta tafi inda motar take da sauri. Bakinta yana motsi kamar tana yi masa magana. And he took his eyes away from me for a second, second din da naji kamar hour guda ne, ya danyi mata magana sannan ya kuma dawo min da idanuwansa kaina, tamkar dan da ya dawo gidansu.

"Jidda" naji muryar Mufida ta ratsa tunani na naji kuma hannunta yana girgiza kafada ta, tunanin me kike yi ne haka. Na dan kifta idanuna ina so su taimake ni suyi cooperating su rabu da kallon idonsa su dawo gare ni. Na kalle ta atlast, tace "ki zo ki gaishe da yaya Faruq" 

"Faruq" baki na ya motsa ya ambata a hankali, kamar yana aikawa zuciyata sakon sunan sabon mamallakin ta, commander in charge dinta, wanda yayi min juyin mulki a garin da ni kadai nake ciki nake rayuwata sai shi yau daya shigo ya cika ko'ina ya barni a rakube a gefe, with just his eyes. 

Ta kama hannuna muka karasa gurin motar tare "yaya Doctor ga kawata Jidda" 

"Jidda" naji ya fada a hankali. Na lunshe idona na bude feeling very proud of my name. Ashe haka sunana yake da dadi? Ko dai maganar sa ce mai dadi? Ko muryarsa ce tayi min dadi. Ko ma dai menene yana da alaka dashi, dan ban taba jin irin wannan akan sunana ba sai da ya fito daga bakinsa.

Ya bude kofar motar, sannan ya zuro kafarsa daya waje ya kuma juyo fuskarsa sosai yana facing dina, and he smiled. His lips curving and his eyes softening. Na sake kokarin dauke idona daga fuskarsa amma na kasa, musamman yanzu da na samu access da dukkan fuskarsa not just the eyes. 

Farar fatar sa tayi kama da wadda ake cewa "wanke hannu ka taba" irin wadda zaka yi tunanin in ka dangwala hannunka zaka tabo jini. Ko kuma ido na ne ya nuna min hakan? Ko kuma bakar sumar kansa da baki kuma cikakken sajen fuskarsa ne ya kara haskaka fatar ta sa? Cikakken fuskarsa tayi matukar dacewa da kyakykyawan dogon hancinsa. Sai dai duk wadannan a baya suke, babban abinda yafi birgeni a fuskarsa shine idonsa, wanda zan iya spending hours looking at.

Ya fito gabaki daya sannan ya mike tsaye, tsahon sa ya saka sai na daga kai na kafin in cigaba da kallon fuskar tashi, but that will look awkward right? Dole na hakura da kallon na sunkuyar da kaina ina kallon kafafuwana da suke cikin safa a kuma cikin sandals, ba wai dan kafafuwan suna birgeni ba sai dan bani da wani zabi.

"Jidda" ya sake fada, zuciyata ta motsa a cikin kirjina. Mufida ta taba ni "ki gaida yaya Doctor yana yi miki magana" "ina ruwanki" ya fada. "In bata gaishe ni ba ina ruwan ki. Chakwaikwaiwa!" Tayi dariya "kai Yaya, kawai dai ranta a bace yake tun safe, abbanta ne yazo ba ummanta ba shine take ta fushi" ya gyara tsayuwar sa  yace "haka ne? I see. Wato ba kwa son maza suyi visiting dinku kunfi son mata ko? Shi yasa ni ma tunda nazo baki ko kalle ni ba sai kika barni da leke ta window ko? Yayi kyau" 

Ta kama hannunsa, nabi hannun da kallo ina lura da zobban azurfa guda biyu dasuke jere a middle finger dinsa da manuni, "ha! Yaya, wallahi ban san kana cikin mota ba" ya karbe hannunsa "inafa zaki sani? Kina can kina daddanne min uwa. Kina can kina introducing friend dinki to all but me" 

Ta dawo kusa dani ta dafa ni "Jidda kenan. My very best friend" ta nuna shi "Jidda ga yaya Faruq, my favorite brother. One in million" ya sake yin murmushi mai sauti. "Dadin baki ko? To ko kwandala ba zan baki ba" na dan russuna, still kaina yana kasa "ina wuni?" Yayi shiru amma ina jin idonsa a kaina, "bana amsa gaisuwa sai an kalle ni" Mufida tayi dariya "ba ka san Jidda ba, zaka bushe a gurin kafin ta daga kai ta kalle ka" yace "baki san ni bane ba, bayan kallo i bet she is going to smile back at me kafin ta bar gurin nan" ta daga kafada "okay, amma ni nasan kawata ba zata bani kunya ba" 

Sai ta zagaya bayan motar ta dauka jakar ghana must go da kuma bagko guda dai dai, da kyar ta fito dasu daga booth din sannan tace "Jidda zo mu dauka mu tafi" yayi saurin cewa "what? Wannan uban kayan zata dauka?" Tace "zamu dauka, da ni da ita" ta fada tana nuna kanta sannan ta nuna ni, na tafi inda take still kaina a kasa na fara kokarin kama jakar sai yazo ya janye hannun jakar daga hannuna. "ba zata dauka ba" ya fada yana kallon Mufida" ta tabe taki ta fara yi masa shagwaba. "Ni baka damu dani ba Yaya Doctor, ni zan dauka ni kadai kenan" 

Ya danyi dariya yace "haba sweety kema kinsan kece favorite sister dina duk duniya amma ki duba yanayin jikinki da nata ba daya bane, in ta dauki wannan kayan kafin taje hostel din ku ai ta karya kafa ko hannu" sai naji haushin yadda yayi min kallon karama, duk da nasan Mufida ta fini ki ba amma ni ma ai ba karamar da har za'a yi kwatance dani ba ce ba nace "zan iya fa, dazu ma mun dauki wasu kayan, kullum ai muna daukan kaya" Mufida tace "da daukan ruwa, bucket din penti muke dauka kullum" nace "dazu ma shi muka dauka. Am stronger than I look" 

Yayi murmushi "show me" na bude ido "what?" Yace "ƙarfin" na cigaba da kallon sa cikin rashin fahimta sai ya daga hannunsa ya nuna min kwanjin sa, ai kuwa na gani duk da ta cikin riga ne, nayi saurin dauke kaina ina jin tsigar jikina tana tashi, yayi dariya. "Ga nawa, show me yours" Mufida tace "wow, Yaya Doctor tsara kaga nawa nima" ta tattare hijab din ta tayi yadda yayi da hannun sa tare da daddagewa lallai wai sai kwanji ya fito, yayi dariya yana dan dukan hannunta kadan "ji wani kwanji kamar na kadangare" ta turo baki yace "ai kina dashi ma, kawarki ita irin na sauro ne da ita" na bata rai "sauro? Sauro ai bashi dashi" yace "that's exactly what am saying, baki dashi" nace da sauri "ina da shi mana" ya gyara hannunsa tare da jingina da jikin mota yace "then show me" 

Muryar Mama muka ji "wai baku tafi kai kayan ba har yanzu?" Mufida ta daga murya, "Mama Yaya Doctor ne ya hana mu dauka" ya bude ido "Mama sharri take yi min" ta murguda masa baki shi kuma yayi mata alamar zai zaneta da hannunsa. Muka kuma yin kokarin dauka sai ya janye jakar yana kallona yace "am serious fa, in dai ina gurin nan ba zaki dauki kayan nan ba. Baku da laborers haka da zasu shigar muku dasu?" Mufida tace "akwai su amma sai an basu kudi" ya zaro kudi a aljihunsa idonsa a kaina ba tare daya kirga ba ya mika mata, tayi saurin karba tana dan tsallen murna sannan ta fara waige waigen neman mai daukan kaya.

Ya rankwafo da kansa yana kallon cikin fuska ta, muka hada ido nayi saurin kallon gefe, sai ya zagaya da fuskar sa ta gefen da nake kallo, muka sake hada ido sai na rufe idona, ya danyi murmushi mai sauti yace, muryarsa can kasa yadda na tabbatar ko da hankalin mufida yana kan mu ba zata ji abinda yace ba "smile, please". na sake rintse idona ina jin muryar sa a jikina tana zuwa har inda banyi tunanin murya tana iya zuwa ba, ina jin yakin da ake yi a tsakanin ƙwaƙwalwa ta da kuma zuciyata, zuciyata which already belongs to him tana son yin obeying din umarninsa, yayinda ƙwaƙwalwa ta take kokarin cigaba da maintening dignity dina. "Smile, ko da dan kadan ne, ko da iyakacin lips dinki ne, ko da bai gama zagaya kyakykyawar fuskar ki ba" 

Na sake juya fuskata gefe, zuciyata tana so ta cigaba da zama a wajen tana sauraron muryar sa yayin da ƙwaƙwalwa ta take gayamin "run!" Yace "bude idonki ki kalle ni, ko ba zakiyi murmushi ba ki kalle ni kawai kafin ki tafi, dan Allah" na juya masa bayana sannan na bude ido na naga Mufida tana bawa masu shigar da kaya sako, sannan na kuma jin alamar ana kallona daga side din da yan gidan su suke, na kalli gurin and I saw Mama, idonta a kaina da kuma wani irin yanayi a fuskarta. Daga bayana naji yace "in baki kalle ni kinyi min murmushi ba, zan iya kwana a asibiti a yau"

Ba tare da na sake magana ko na waiwaya na kalle shi ba na bi bayan mai daukar kaya, duk da cewa zuciyata tana kokawa, tana so ta sake kallon cikin idanunsa, Mufida ta biyo bayana da bakaken ledoji biyu a hannunta, ta miko min daya "ai dai wannan ba zaki karye ba in kika dauka ko?" Duk mukayi dariya a tare, duk da ni tawa dariyar bata kai ciki ba, all I wanted a lokacin is to look into his eyes again. Ina jinta tana min hira, bansan ma me take cewa ba har muka danyi nisa kadan sannan kuma ina jin idanuwan sa still a kaina, I can even swear cewa magana yake yi da zuciyarsa, addu'a yake yi in sake waigawa. And I did.

Na dan dakata da takuna, ina jin kamar ba zan iya kara taku daya ba har sai na kalle shi, sannan na juya na kalli inda yake tsaye har yanzu a jikin mota, kuma kamar yadda nayi tsammani, idanuwan sa a kaina. Yayi murmushi sannan ya daga min hannu, and I smiled back and wave back. And then my life begins and ended.


*💔 Jidda 💔*

*By*

*Maman Maama*

*Episode Two : Matters of the Hearts*

Free Episode

Ita zuciya, annabi yace wata tsoka ce a jikin mutum wadda idan ta gyaru to dukkan sauran jiki ya gyaru idan kuma ta baci to dukkan sassan jiki ya baci kenan. Idan muka yi amfani da wannan maganar zamu iya nada zuciya a matsayin sarauniyar gabaki dayan jikin mutum, wadda kuma a lokuta da dama tana gudanar da mulkinta ne bisa son kai da son zuciya (lol) musamman in aka samu cewa shi mamallakin zuciyar baya iya juyata ya sakar mata ragama tana yin abinda ta ke so, to ina kuma ga ni? Ni da zuciyar tawa gabaki daya na riga na danka wa wanda bai ma nemi in bashi din ba, bai ma kuma san cewa na bashi din ba.

Tun ranar dana fara ganin sa, ranar visiting day, ban kuma jin cewa na dawo dai dai Jidda ta yadda nake kafin idanuna su shiga cikin nasa ba. Sau da yawa nakan samu kaina ido biyu bayan karfe biyun dare ta wuce, kuma ba wai akan sallaya ina sallah ba ba kuma wai da littafi a gaba na ina karatun jarabawar da aka kawo ni makaranta dan in karanta ba, a'a, na kan samu kaina ne a zaune akan gado na na jingina baya na da pillow staring into nothing and smiling. 

In kuma nayi yaki da zuciyar tawa na samu na dauki littafi na kunna fitila da niyyar karatu to bayan wasu mintuna kadan zan iya samun kaina ina zana abinda zan iya tunawa na daga fuskarsa a bayan littafin da ya kamata ace karantawa nake yi. Idan kuwa class muka tafi da niyyar sauraron extra lessons din da coppers din makarantar sukan shirya mana kusan kullum dan shirin taryar jarabawar waec din da take gaban mu, to na kan samu kaina da rafka tagumi da hannu bibbiyu, idanuna tsaf a kan malamin, faffadan murmushi akan fuskata amma kuma sam babu abinda nake ji ko gani a abinda yake yi kuma yake fada, sau da yawa fuskar yayan kawata na kan gani a fuskar mai koya mana karatun, da kuma muryarsa yana cewa "smile, please".

Those were the good days....

On the bad days kuma ji nakan yi duniya tayi min zafi, in ji na tsani kaina for feeling what I was feeling, inyi kokarin tursasawa kaina daina jin abinda nake ji din amma sai inji kamar kara hura wutar abin nake yi a zuciyata. Nakan zauna inyi kuka a bayan idon kowa. Dama ni kuka babban abokina ne. Babu abinda nake so illa in sake ganin sa, ko in sake jin muryar sa, ko kuma at least in ji ko da labarin sa ne, ko da hirar sa ne ayi min. Sai dai kuma duk da halin da zuciya ta take ciki ba zan iya karya kambu na na yarinyar da tafi duk sauran yammata aji a set din mu ba, ba zan iya gayawa Mufida feelings dina a kan yayanta ba. Wannan zub da class ne right?

Wannan tunanin ya sa na tafi gurinta da niyyar in bugi cikinta ko zam samu abinda nake so, sai dai kuma matsalar daya ita ce tun ranar da na ganshi din sai ya zamanto tamkar anyi min chanjin babbar kawa ta Mufida ne da wata mai kama da ita amma ba mai halinta ba. Mufida yarinya ce mai shegen surutu, fadi ba'a tambaye ka ba, da son iyawa. Yana daya daga cikin abinda take so shine ta tara mutane tayi ta basu labarin gidan su da yan gidan su, kusan kaf set din mu babu wanda bai san yan gidan su Mufida ba, babu wanda bai san Yaya Doctor ba, amma tun ranar da yazo din sai ya zamana kamar ta saka sealtape ta like bakinta.

Na jawo kujera ta kusa da tata, nayi gyaran murya, ta dago daga karatun da take yi tayi min murmushi, nace "na gaji da karatu wallahi, kaina ya toshe" ta dafa goshinta tace "same here, kawai yi nake yi kar kuce bana yi" ta karashe maganar tana dariya. Nace "ni kaina ma ciwo yake yi" tace "ke ce fa health prefect, nasan ba zaki rasa magani a jakarki ba" nace "haka ne. Daga naji ciwo nake shan abina" na danyi shiru sai kuma nace "kuma a gida ai kunji dadin ku, gaku da Dr a gida, daga kun fara ciwo ba sai kunje asibiti ba sai kawai ya duba ku" ta dan yamutsa fuska "eh fa. Haka ne" Sai ta ja kujerar ta baya ta mike, "bara in dan zagaya insha fresh air ko kaina zai dan bude" na bi bayanta da kallo. She has been acting like that tun ranar visiting, what's up?

Haka na cigaba da jinyar zuciyata ni kadai, telling my self that the feelings will go away, but they never did, har yara suka dawo daga hutu muka kuma fara WAEC. Paper din mu ta farko bayan mun gama practicals ita ce geography, muka shiga muka fito ba tare dana tabuka komai na kirki a ciki ba, ni kaina nasan ko ni za'a bawa marking din paper ta ba xan bawa kaina credit ba indai ina so inga annabi. A cikin hall din na yanke shawarar cewa in dai ina son kaina da arziki kuma ina son inga abin kirki a result dina har in samu tafiya nursing school din da naji Abba ya ambata to kuwa dole in tattara Dr Umar Faruq dashi da idanuwan sa da murmushin sa in ajiye su a gefe. But how ......

Ina yin sallar na tafi gurin wata yar ajin mu Ramlah. Ramlah yar soyayya ce, dan tun muna jss take da samari kuma take zaunar damu ta bamu labaran su, dan haka sai nake ganin kamar duk ta fi mu experience akan wannan harkar kuma maybe tana da shawarar da zata bani. But still I was not ready to open up in yarda cewa ina son wanda bai san ina yi ba.

A dakin su na same ta a kwanar ta tana kwadon kanzo da yaji manja da yaji da albasa sai kamshi yake yi. Na kwanta akan gadon ta ita kuma tana karasa hadawa nace "malamar soyayya nazo daukan darasi" ta bude baki "kar dai ki gaya min finally wani yayi awon gaba da zuciyar beauty queen din mu" da haka yawanci suke tsokana ta. Na bata fuska "neva, sai dai inyi awon gaba da zuciyar wani" na fada a raina ina hoping ina ma dai haka ne, ina ma dai nice na tafi da zuciyarsa ba shine ya tafi da tawa ba?

Ta hawo kan gadon tana ajiye kwanon kanzon a tsakanin mu da cup din ruwa a gefe. To bani labari, waye shi kuma me ya faru tsakanin ku? Ina so in san komai" na sake gyara fuska ta, ba zan zubar da ajina ba fa. Nace "babu kowa fa na gaya miki. Kawai dai kinga mun kusa gama school, ina son in san yadda zan facing rayuwa outside these walls" ta gyada kai cikin gamsuwa. "A Beauty queen like you will have a swarm of flies after her kina fita daga school din nan" 

Nayi dariya muka fara cin abincin tare sannan nace "flies kuma?" Tace "yeah, mostly flies ne, few of them will be honey bees, amma ke kadai zaki iya tantancewa kuma kiyi filtering out flies din" na sake cewa "okay, ta yaya zan danne zuciyata ko da naga wanda naji ina so" ta kalle ni da alamar tambaya, "ban gane ba" nace "ta yaya zanyi unloving wanda already nake loving" ta bude ido sannan tayi dariya "I knew it, yadda kika rame yadda kika kara yin silent akwai wani a kasa, ko kuma a sama zance ne?" Ta sake dariya. Na bata rai "babu kowa fa na gaya miki" 

Ta daga hannu, "tunda kin ce haka mu bar shi a hakan. No, bana jin zaki iya unloving wanda kike loving, sai dai ko idan lokaci ya ja sosai kun rabu ba kwa tare to zaki iya rage son sa kiji cewa it doesn't matter that much. Ko kuma idan yayi miki wani abu mai tsananin ciwo a zuciya, bacin rai zai iya danne soyayyar sa amma shima bance zaki daina son sa ba" ta cigaba da cin abincin ta, yayin da ni kuma nake ta juya spoon din data bani a hannuna, sannan tace "yadda kike ji a ranki zai ragu, with time zaki saba da feeling din kuma zaki koyi controlling din sa, kar ki damu" 

Bance mata komai ba, amma tunani na ya tafi kan cewa ban samu amsa ta ba. Kamar ta san tunanin da nake yi sai tace "in the mean time, dole ki ajiye komai a gefe kiyi facing karatun ki" na ajiye cokalin nace "ta yaya zanyi hakan?" Ta ajiye itama nata cokalin tana kallo na tace "ta hanyar concentrating on abinda zai faru idan baki yi hakan ba" nace "me zai faru?" Tace "zaki fadi exams of cause, in ba ki da result mai kyau baki da damar cigaba da karatu, in baki cigaba da karatu ba kuwa babu abinda zaki yi a rayuwa. Worst case scenario Abba zai samar miki miji, dan abokinsa ko kuma abokin nasa ya aura miki. Wanda kika ki karatu a akan nasa ko labarin sa ba zaki sake ji ba. That will be the end of your love story" 

Na gyada kai ina relating, yayata Hudallah da akayi bikinta last year kusan abinda ya faru da ita kenan,  wanda take so ya gudu yaki auren ta, Abba ya saka ta fitar da miji ta rasa yadda zata yi shi kuma baya barin ƴaƴan sa su dade a gida rana daya yazo yace ya samo mata miji, dan tsohon abokinsa, five months later tana dakin mijinta, shekara ta zagayo da baby a kan cinyarta. Naji cikina yayi karar tsoro. 

Ta cigaba da magana "idan kika yi karatu kuma kika ci exams dinki, kina da chance da zaki tafi school kiyi ilimi, ki kara warewa ki kara class ki kara kyau ki kara shekaru. Add these to your beauty, wannan wanda kike so din zai iya lasar takalmin ki dan ki bashi minti daya yayi magana da ke" na gyada kai, already ina hango Dr Umar yana bina a baya kamar jela ni kuma ina ja masa aji son raina, yes, wannan tunanin kadai ya isa ya saka in maida hankali na kan karatu na.

And it did.....

Ban ce na daina tunanin Umar ba amma tunanin nasa sai ya zama shi yake kara min kaimi wajen ganin naci exams dina dan in same shi. 

Farhan bata zo ba kamar yadda tayi min alkawari a letter din da ta rubuto min, haka zalika su umma basu zo ba kamar yadda Abba yayi min alkawari, sai dai da muka yi waya a wayar wani copper da ya kan bamu waya a boye mu kira gida, sun bani hakuri cewa basu samu dama bane ba, ni kuma nasan ba wai dama ce basu samu ba tunda dai babu abinda suke yi a gidan, babu aiki babu sana'a, nasan dai Abba ne bai bar su suzo ba, zai ce ne bashi da kudi ko kuma yace za'a shagwaba ni ko kuma wani excuse din da shi kadai zai fahimci ma'anar sa.

Farhan kuma da yaya Mukhtar da Aunty Halima, nasan Hajiya ce zata hana su zuwa. Wannan bani da ko shakka akai. 

Lafiya lau muka cigaba da exams din mu, na cigaba da rike kambu na, na cigaba da tabbatar wa cewa Mufida bata san cewa akwai wani abu a zuciya ta a dangane da yayan ta ba. A haka har muka zana final paper din mu. Hausa language. Ranar da ta zama ranar graduation din mu. Ranar kuma da nayi masa gani na biyu a rayuwata. Ranar kuma da ya yi ban ruwa akan shukar daya riga yayi a cikin fadarsa dake zuciyata.

Tun saura sati daya graduation din mu aka fara shirye-shirye, ana ta gabatar da programs na yin bankwana da mu, kowanne club yana shirya wa members dinsa dinner da kuma dan entertainment haka sannan kuma a bayar da gifts, a ciki nima na dan samu rabo na babu laifi. Kyautar da na samu ta farko ita ce ta tsafta kuma dama kusan duk shekara ina samun wannan kyautar, ba wai nafi kowa tsafta bane a set din mu ba, a'a, ni abinda nake ganin ya sa ake bani wannan kyautar bayan tsafta ta wadda na san ina da ita to akwai gayu kuma. Gashi dai ni ba yar masu kudi sosai can ba amma ina da daukar wanka ko da kuwa a cikin uniform ne ballantana a gida. Kuma sanyin jikina sai yake karawa gayun nawa kyau, komai a nutse nake yinsa a tsare. Wannan ya saka aka bani health prefect, sannan kuma yanzu da zamu yi graduation aka sake bani kyautar tsafta.

Bayan ita ma kuma na samu kyautar third overall student, sannan in-coming health prefect ita ma ta bani kyauta kamar yadda yake al'ada ta makarantar. A harkar sports ma an raba kyaututtuka, amma ni ban sami komai ba saboda hardly in yi sport ko ranar sport day ne, sai dai in an matsa min sai inje inyi table tennis, dan ni duk abinda zai saka ni wahala bana son sa. 

Amma duk da haka sai aka raba mana wani hand band wanda akayi customising dinsa kowa da sunansa da kuma sunan makaranta da graduation year a jiki, an yi masa ado mai kyau haka kamar saƙa da different colors masu daukan ido. Ana bani nawa na karba ina karantawa "JIDDA. Beauty Queen" sai kuma sauran rubutu, nayi murmushi ina jin a raina ina son abin, na bare shi a ledar sa na saka a hannuna, naga ya danyi min yawa kadan amma a raina nace in naje gida naci abincin gida na huta nasan zanyi kiba kuma zaiyi min dai dai.

Ranar da za mu bar makarantar, paper din mu ta karshe ita ce hausa dan haka ba wani karatu mukayi sosai ba, da daddare ana ta kitson candy da lalle masu hada kaya nayi masu kukan rabuwa da juna nayi nasu kida da table da rawar murna nayi. Ni dai ranar na wuni dakin su Maryam kawata.

Maryam kawata ce, dan zan iya cewa a lokacin bayan Mufida sai ita a layin kawaye na, babban abinda ya hada mu kawance da Maryam shine gayun mu da yake kusan iri daya, amma ita kasancewarta yar talakawa futuk sai ya zama gayun nata ya zama kamar karya dan tana daukar wa kanta abinda yafi karfin ta ne, wannan ya saka tamu tafi zama daya da Mufida, ita kuma yar masu kudi ce sosai amma kuma down to earth, funny, and sweet, sannan kuma tana so na.

Tun safe ina kwance gadon Maryam ina ta cike slum books din da ban zauna na cike ba, masu su suna ta bina suna hada ni da Allah da Annabi, sai a ranar na cike musu wasu kuma na bawa Maryam ta taya ni cike wa dan sunyi min yawa, muna yi muna hirar mu da nishadi.

Bayan mun gama ta wanke min kaina, muna ta rigima dan ni babu abinda na tsana irin a taba min gashina, sannan bayan tayi towel drying gashin tayi oiling sannan ta fara min kitso inata mita ina cewa tayi min manya ita kuma tace kanana zata yi min, ai kuwa ita kanta sai da jikinta ya gaya mata saboda gashina cika ne dashi in ina kitso kamar ba zai kare ba, jelar ma kuma in tayi rabi sai ta saka band ta daure ta ta barta a haka dan in bata daure ba warwarewa zaiyi. 

Haka muka zauna har bayan magrib, taje tayi sallah ta dawo muka cigaba, da yake ni ina off, har ishai muna abu daya, sai ga Mufida tazo ta zauna a gurin mu ita ma sannan da kyar aka gama kitson. Yan ƙanana, kitson da ina jin  ban kuma yarda anyi min masu kankantar su ba.

Kusan kwanan zaune mukayi a ranar muna hira, muyi hira muyi kukan murna muyi kukan bakin cikin rabuwa sannan kuma muyi dariyar jin dadi. Da assuba muka kammala hada duk wasu sauran kayayyakin amfanin mu dan kusan komai mun bayar dashi sai few abubuwan da suke da muhimmanci muka dauka. Da sassafe muka kai kayan mu bakin gate din makaranta muka koma ciki sannan muka yi wanka muka shirya a tsanake muka fito daga hostel bayan munyi bankwana da metrons da sauran daliban da muka bari a bayan mu, muka tafi exam hall muka zauna, sai a lokacin ne muka danyi karatu kadan kafin a shigo mana, ana shigowa kuwa muka ajiye komai muka rubuta final paper din mu.

Kowa yana gamawa, daga mai ihu sai mai tsalle sai masu rungume juna suna kukan dadi da kuma na rabuwa, amma ni sai na samu kaina da tunani.

Wannan fa shine kamar wata border a rayuwa ta, kamar with this final paper na ajiye duk wani childhood dina kenan. Na zama cikakkiyar budurwa, kamar yadda nake kallon wadanda suka yi candy a matsayin manyan yammata nima na shiga cikin su kenan yanzu. 

And my battle begins......

Neman admission, samari, aure ko karatu, yaushe zaki yi aure, samari yan yaudara da yan iska......duk yanzu zanyi facing dinsu in full scale. Am I ready?

Ni dama haka nake a rayuwata ina da tsoron chanji, na gammace in ta jure halin da nake ciki akan in nemi chanji sai imta jin tsoron irin kalubalen da zan fuskanta a sabon babin da zan bude, but wannan babi ne da dolen dole in bude shi, ba wai shawara ta bace ba, a'a dole ne.

Tunanin cewa aure yana daga cikin abinda wannan sabon babi na rayuwata ya kunsa sai ya dawo min da tunanin sa, though dama ba wai tafiya tunanin yayi ba, but sai naji son ganinsa ya dawo min sabo, sai na ji a raina ina addu'ar ina ma yazo daukan kanwarsa? At least nasan zan raka ta mota ko kadan ne sai in samu damar satar kallon sa ko da kuwa bamuyi magana ba.

Mufida ce ta katse min tunani na ta hanyar zuwa ta dane min jikina tana ihun murna, daga nan komai ya rike ce, muka fara bin malamai muna yi musu sallama su kuma suna yi mana nasiha akan rayuwa, wadanda already aka zo dauka suka fara tafiya. Ana ta exchanging phone numbers musamman a gurin wadanda suke da waya, mu kuma wadanda bamu da ita sai muke bayar da wayar wani da za'a same mu tare, ni dai wayar Umma nake bayarwa. 

Muna cikin haka aka zo kiran Mufida, nan take naji cikina ya murda sosai kamar zanje toilet, Muka kama hannun juna muka fito daga hall din tare, a raina ina son in raka ta ko Allah zai saka shine yazo daukanta sai in ganshi, har munyi nisa sai kuma na ja na tsaya ina tambayar kaina ina aji na yake? Ai ba dan Allah nake da niyyar raka tan ba sai dan in ganshi, in dai har shine yazo daukan ta zan so ace shima yana son ganina dan haka shi zai aiko a kira ni ba wai ni inje kafin ma ya neme ni ba. 

Sai na saki hannunta ina girgiza kaina "kije kawai Mufida, na tuna nayi mantuwa a hostel kuma nasan an kusa zuwa dauka na, ki je kawai zamuyi waya in na je gida" ta tsaya tana kallona, daga dukkan alama bata ji dadin magana ta ba kuma na saka ran zata yi retaliating amma sai naga ta gyada kai tace "shikenan. Allah ya kiyaye hanya. Ki kira ni fa kina zuwa gida. Ki gaida Umma da Amira" nace "zasu ji. Ki gaida kowa" a raina ina son ko sakon gaisuwa ne in aika masa amma pride ya hana ni, na juya na koma inda na fito.

Sai dai ban gama sauraron labarin da Maryam take bani ba, duk da ba fahimta nake yi ba, sai ganin Mufida nayi a gaba na. Gaba na ya fadi, muka tsaya muna kallon juna sannan muryar ta can kasa tace "ki zo wai.....inji Yaya Doctor" gaba na ya fadi, har wani gumi naji ya karyo min, kafin in bada amsa Sai ta juya ta fita, wani side na zuciyata ya ce min inyi zamana kar inje, wani kuma, inda already dama yake daukin ganin sa ya fara tsallen murnar ganinsa, nasan babu yadda zanyi in rarrashe shi ya hakura dan haka na tashi na bita a baya.

Har tayi nisa saboda sauri take yi, ni kuma ban iya sauri ba kuma ba zanyi saurin zuwa saurayi ba dan haka na cigaba da catwalking abina. Sai kuma naga ta tsaya can nesa kadan da inda naga mota irin wadda rannan suka zo a cikinta. Na karasa kusa da ita na tsaya nima bance komai ba, a raina ina jin babu dadi abinda tayi min, ta juyo tana kallona sannan tace "daga Abuja yake, suna can shida Daddy, yaji yau zan yi graduating shine ya dauko hanya tun asuba ya taho dan yana so yazo ta ganki, ba wai dan ya dauke ni ba" na bita da kallo, ina jin zakin maganar ta kamar suga a zuciyata, amma kuma bana jin dadin yanayin da take yi min maganar da shi. 

Ban ba ta amsa ba ya bude kofar motar ya fito, numfashina da bugun zuciya ta duk suka tsaya a tare, ya saka shadda ruwan zuma kansa da hula ba kamar ranar nan ba, sai naji na kasa tantance yaushe ne yafi kyau, ranar nan ko kuma yau?

Na taka a hankali na tafi inda yake, dan nasan ni yake jira kuma nasan in banje ba zai iya tahowa kuma inda muke tsaye ana iya hango mutum tun daga exam hall din da sauran daliban suke ciki. 

Kafin in karasa naga ya zagaya daya side din motar ya bude kofar gidan gaba sannan ya tsaya a bakin kofar tare dayi min nunin cewa in shiga da dayan hannunsa, fuskar sa dauke da irresistable murmushi. Naje gabansa na tsaya idanuna a cikin nasa, sannan a hankali na sauke idona kasa. Naga kofar motar daya bude na kuma fahimci me yake nufi da hakan amma nayi ignoring. "Sannu da zuwa" na fada da sassanyar muryata. "Yauwa nagode" ya amsa, "bismillah" ya fada yana sake nuna cikin motar da hannun sa, na daga kai ina kallon fuskarsa amma ban shiga ba sai yace "ba cinye ki zanyi ba fa, I promise, ina so muyi magana ne amma bana son muyi a nan saboda........" Ya nuna jama'ar da suke ta zirga zirga a wajen. 

Na gyada kai na. Zan so inji abinda yake so muyi magana akai amma ba zanso Abba ya shigo ya ganni a tsaye tare da wani wanda bai sani ba. Ƙwaƙwalwa ta tayi kokarin tuna min da cewa gwara ya ganni a tsaye tare da wani akan ya ganni a cikin motar wani, amma sai zuciyata tayi saurin kawar da warning din, dan tana so ta farantawa abin son ta.

Na sunkuya na shiga motar na zauna tare da dora yar karamar jakar hannuna a kan cinyata, idanuna akan hannayena, ina jin sa ya rufe kofar sannan ya zagayo seat din driver ya bude ya shigo tare da rufewa. 

Na rike numfashi na ina jin rashin dacewar zaman mu har cikin zuciya ta, I had never been so close to namijin da ba muharrami na ba kamar haka. Na kasa dago ido in kalleshi amma ina jin idan sa a kaina, na dan ja hijabi na ina kara rufe cinyoyi na da suka bayyana kasancewar wandon uniform ne a jiki na kuma hijabin mu bashi da girma sosai. Sai kuma na tuna cewa ban gaishe shi ba. "Ina kwana?" Na fada da muryar da naji kamar ba tawa ba. Bai amsa ba sai kallo na daya cigaba da yi, na fara tunanin in bude motar in fita sai naji  yace "wai dan Allah in tambaye ki Jidda, ke wacce tribe ce?" Na dago da sauri muka hada ido, sai dai banyi mamakin tambayar tasa ba saboda na sha jin irinta a gurin mutanen da basu san ni ba. 

Yace "ina ganinki ranar nan sai nayi tunanin bafulatana ce, sai dana kalla sosai naga cewa ba ita bace ba and definitely not Hausa and not kanuri, nooooo bayin nan basu da wannan kyan, and I thought about shuwa but idanunki ba irin nasu bane ba, idan ma sune to an samu mix,  ba dan kalar fatar ba kuma zan iya cewa Arab but skin din ba tasu bace ba" ya dan rage ido yana kara kallon fuskata, sai na kama kasan hijab dina zan rufe fuskar sai kuma na tuna hakan yana nufin bude cinyoyi na, sai na saki hijab din na rufe da hannu na. 

Ina jin shi yayi dariya kadan. "Please ki gaya min mana, it kept me awake at night, inyi ta tunani, har pictures din girls from different tribes nake browsing ina comparing da taki fuskar dana riga na dauki hotonta na kuma yi saving anan...." Ya fada yana nuna kirjinsa. Na bude fuskata inajin maganganun sa kamar busar sarewa a kunne na saboda dadin su, amma na dage wajen kin nuna hakan a fuska ta. 

Nace "kace zamuyi magana, ina dan sauri ne kar azo daukana ayi ta nemana. Wacce maganar zamuyi?" Ya dan gyara zama da serious murya yace "taimako nazo nema gurin ki Jidda" naji gaba na ya fadi nace "taimako kuma? Wanne irin taimako?" A take zuciya ta ta fara lissafo irin abubuwan da zan iyayi dominsa, sai ya dan langwabe kai "bani da lafiya, magani nazo ki bani" na kalleshi da sauri, a idona sai naga yayi  kamar mara lafiyan gaske, kamar ya dan rame akan wancan ganin da nayi masa, nace "me yake damunka? Ni bani da magani ai, kai ba Doctor bane ba ka duba kan ka mana?" 

Ya danyi murmushi still idonsa cikin nawa yace "nayi kokarin treating kaina na kasa, har allura nayi wa kaina duk da bana son allura amma ban warke ba" na danyi shiru ina assessing maganar "to ka fada mana a gida sai a kaika gurin wani likitan ya duba ka? Ni ai ban iya duba marasa lafiya ba, me yasa zaka taho guri na?" Ya sake fadada murmushin sa, idanuwan sa suna sake yi min kyau, na kasa dauke idona daga kansa a hankali kamar mai rada yace "saboda kina da nasaba da abinda yake damuna" nima nayi magana a hankali "zazzabi ne yake damun ka ko mura? In zazzabi ne zan baka paracetamol in mura ce kuma...." "Nan ne yake min ciwo" ya fada yana nuna kirjinsa, ɓangaren da zuciyarsa take, "kuma bana iya bacci, in na rufe ido na sai inyi ta ganin ki kina yi min murmushi, irin wanda kika yi min ranar nan da kuna tafiya ke da Mufida, shine na dawo in roke ki Allah da Annabi ki sake yi min wani irinsa, ko wanda ya fishi"

"Wannan shine maganin ciwo na, shine abinda zai warkar dani, shine abinda ya saka yau nayi driving seven hours straight dan in ganki, ina fatan ba zaki hana min ba" na cire idona daga cikin nasa na mayar dasu kan hannayena da absentmindedly suke wasa da strings din jakata, a raina ina tunanin ko dai mafarki nake yi? A cikin ire ire-iren mafarkan da nake yi nasa, amma it felt sooo real, kalaman sa felt as real as kamannin sa. 

"Please......" Ya kuma roka, "please kar kice nayi zuwan banza, ko fake smile ne a bani ina so a haka, amma nafi son real din, in son samu ne a hada min harda dariya ko yar karama ce" 

Ban san yaya akayi ba sai kawai jin murmushi nayi akan fuskata, bansan sanda nayi ba dan zuciyata bata yi shawara dani ba kawai ta bi umarnin sa. Ajjiyar zuciya naji ya sauke mai karfi "alhamdulillah. Masha Allah. Tsarki ya tabbata ga ubangijin da ya halicci wannan kyakykyawar sura. Jidda Allah yayi miki kyau, ki gode masa, fuskar ki da suffar ki mai kyau ce sosai. Kuma yanayin yadda kike ta faman gyaran hijab dinki da yadda kika makale a jikin  kofar kadai ya saka naji a raina cewa kyawun ki ba'a physical kadai ya tsaya ba, har cikin zuciyarki ke kyakykyawa ce. Ni Umar Faruq naga Hauwa'u Maijidda kuma ina sonta, har cikin ruhina ina son ki. Na yaba da komai da idanuwa na suka gani, ina kuma neman alfarmar ki bani dama in gama sanin abinda ban sani ba kema kuma ki san duk abinda kike bukatar sani daga gare ni, that's in abinda kika gani physical yayi miki....." 

Ya fada yana nuna kansa, na kalle shi briefly na kuma mayar da idanuna kan band dina da nake ta jujjuya wa a hannuna, ina jina kamar ina yawo a cikin gajimare. 

Yace "Maijidda.......kiyi magana mana..... please zaki bani dama? Zaki bamu dama mu karanci juna sai kuma muga inda Allah zai kaimu. Me kika ce?"

Na motsa bakina amma sai na kasa magana, to me ma zance ne? Ina sonsa, kuma abinda na gani na daga suffarsa yayi min, sannan nima ina fama da irin ciwon da yake fama dashi kuma nima fuskarsa da murmushin sa sune suke ratsa cikin baccina a duk lokacin dana kwanta, wannan shine amsar dana bashi amma ba zan iya gaya masa ba, kunya da kuma pride ba zasu barni in gaya masa ba, at least not now. Na bude bakin sai kuma na mayar na rufe.

Ya rankwafo yana leka fuskata "ba zaki yi magana ba ko? Ni kadai zanyi kida na kuma inyi rawa ta ko? Shikenan to, in dai zaki saurara kuma zaki kalla I will gladly sing and dance for you, indai har hakan zai saka ki cigaba da yi min kyakykyawan murmushin ki" na sake yin murmushin, sai kuma na kama hannun motar ina kokarin budewa, naji ta a rufe, na juyo ina kallon sa "am I a prisoner?" Ya daga hannu "nooo, never. But at least say something mana, anything........ please" nace "abbana zai iya shigowa makarantar nan a kowanne lokaci, and do you know abinda zaiyi min in ya ganni a cikin motar nan?" 

Ya girgiza kai, his face looking concern. Ni kaina bansan abinda zaiyi min din ba amma ba karamin aikinsa bane gobe inji an daura min aure, zaice zan dauko masa abin kunya ne, but ba zan gaya masa haka ba sai nace "zai shiga staffroom ne ya aro bulala ya fito nan ya zane ni a gaban kowa sannan ya saka ni a booth din motar sa ya tafi dani gida" ya danyi dariya, sannan yayi unlocking kofar, yace "that means akwai good upbringing. Masha Allah" na bude kofar na fita sannan na sunkuyo muna kallon juna nace "Allah ya kiyaye hanya" ya dan bata fuska "amsa ta fa? In zo gobe in karba?" 

Na girgiza kai "ba gobe ba, nan da sati biyu ko wata biyu, ko kuma shekara biyu, depending on the mood din da zan samu kaina a ciki" ya lumshe ido ya bude yace "then I will make sure nayi keeping dinki as happy as possible har sai na samu amsata, daga nan kuma insha Allah I will keep you happy for the rest of our lives".

Na matsa baya sannan na rufe masa kofa, wannan ya hana min ganinsa saboda tinted glass din motar, amma shi nasan yana kallona sai na juya na fara normal catwalking dina feeling his eyes on me, fuskata dauke da madaukakin murmushi, zuciya ta tana screaming with excitement ta yadda har bana ganin gaba na sosai, da ace ni kadai ce a wajen , da ace baya kallo na da tabbas na yi tsallen dadi. 

Ban ankara ba sai ji nayi munyi karo da mutum,nayi saurin dawo da hankali na jiki na ina kokarin bada hakuri sai naga Mufida ce ashe, ta bini da kallo, fuskarta dauke da wani yanayi mai wahalar fassara. Wanda yasa naji murmushin fuskata yana raguwa nace "Mufida.......ammm kije ku tafi.....sai na taho" tace "he is handsome right? Kuma ya iya kalamai ko?" Na kalle ta sharply, ina tunanin inda zanyi placing maganar ta, nace "Mufida? Menene wai? Menene problem dinki? Bakya......" Ta dakatar dani ta hanyar daga min hannu, ba dan na san Mufida kuma daga labaran da take bamu na gidan su nasan cewa Doctor yayanta bane uwa daya uba daya da zan iya yanke hukuncin cewa kishi take yi dani.

Maganar da tayi ce ta goge wancan zargin amma kuma ta dasa min wani sabon yanayi na daban "Yaya Umar yaya na ne, uwa daya uba daya muke ni da shi, yana daga cikin mutanen da nake so sosai a duniya. Ke kuma kawata ce da nake so a cikin kawaye, ban san menene a tsakanin ku ba amma koma menene, no matter how it ended, bana son in rasa ki a matsayin kawa. Yaya Umar yayi relationships da yawa, kuma he has left a trail of broken hearts, I don't want yours to add to that. I don't want you to get your heart broken" sai ta kama fuskata a hannunta ta riƙe a hankali tace "I trust you will do the right thing" sannan ta sake ni da sauri ta tafi inda yake jiranta. 

Ban juya ba har naji ya tayar da motar sannan naji sun zo sun wuce, nabi motar da kallo har suka je gate aka bude musu suka fita,a lokacin ne kuma motar Abba ta shigo daukana, amma sai naji duk murnar graduation din da kuma murnar maganar Doctor tana fita daga jikina kamar yadda motar da yake ciki ta fita daga makarantar. Wani bacin rai da wasi wasi yana replacing dinsu. Na rufe ido na tare da jingina bayana da jikin bishiyar da take gurin a hankali nace "Inna lillahi wa inna ilaihir rajiun".


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*💔 Jidda 💔*

*By*

*Maman Maama*


*Episode Three: Pilot*

Free Episode

Tun da muka fito daga makarantar, na juya ina kallon gate din amma sai naji bana jin wani excitement kamar yadda nayi tunanin zan ji. Na yi ajjiyar zuciya tare da mayar da kaina na kwantar a jikin tagar mota tare da lumshe idona.

"Bana son in rasa ki a matsayin kawa" 
"He has left a trail of broken hearts"
"You will do what is right"

Wadannan maganganun su suke ta yi min yawo a kaina. Muryar yaya Tahir naji "ban taba ganin wadda bata murna da zuwa gidan su ranar candy ba sai ke. Unbelievable. Wai kuka kike yi?" 

Na dago kai ina kallon sa, sannan na kalli yaya Muslim da yake driving, na dan goge idona ina kallon hawayen da ban ma san sanda suka fito ba nace "ina murna mana yayana, ina murna sosai da sosai, kawai dai ina jin babu dadi ne zan rabu da kawaye na dana saba dasu shekara da shekaru, wadansu fa shekarar mu shida tare kaga kuwa ai sabon mai yawa ne" 

Yaya Muslim yace "to ba kina da numbers din su ba? Ai zaku ke waya ko? Kuma kina zaki sake wasu kawayen da har zasu mantar dake wadannan. Ni yanzu few abokai na na secondary school ne yake da contact dasu, duk kowa ya kama gabansa" sai suka cigaba da hirar abokai a tsakanin su, tunda kusan duk abokan su daya, ni kuma na koma na kwanta na rufe ido na ina ganin fuskarsa "smile please" na danyi murmushi sai kuma na bata rai, shin da gaske abinda Mufida ta fada min akan yayanta haka ne ko sharri take yi masa? Amma kuma akan wanne dalili zata yi masa sharri? In kuma gaskiya ne mai yasa ta gaya min? Kamata yayi ace ai ta kare image dinsa a matsayin sa na yayanta dan na tabbatar cewa tafi sonsa a kaina.

Amma dai whatever the case warning ne tayi min, ya kamata kuma inyi wani abu a kai, Amma me zanyi? Tace ba ta so yayi breaking heart dina, abinda ya kamata nayi shine in nisanta kaina dashi dan kar in fada cikin soyayyar sa but Oops! am already in. Sai dai zan iya fita tun kafin in nutse har kai, tun kafin inyi drowning. Menene abinyi?


Zan bawa Farhan labarin sa, nasan kuma in muka hada kai ni da ita zamu samu mafita..........amma me yasa in na hango rabuwa dashi a matsayin mafita sai inji zuciyata tana min zafi? In kuma na hango cigaba da alaka dashi a matsayin mafita sai inji murmushi yazo kan fuskata?

******************************************

Sunana Jidda. Sunan Mahaifina Alhaji Habib Mahmud wanda yake haifaffen cikin garin kano ta bangaren uwa da uba gabaki daya, malamin makaranta ne wanda a halin yanzu yake da matsayin principal a daya daga cikin manyan makarantun secondary school na jeka ka dawo na maza dake garin kano. Alhaji Habib yana da rufin asirinsa dai dai gwargwado dan gidan mu bamu taba rasa ci ko sha ko kuma wasu basic needs na rayuwar duniya ba, duk wadansu bukatun mu Abban mu ya dauke mana su dai dai gwargwado. 

Ba zamu kira kanmu direct da masu kudi ba, kamar yadda ba zamu amsa sunan talakawa ba. Mata biyu Alhaji Habib yake dasu, Hajiya Maryam ita ce uwargidan sa wadda muke kira da Hajiya, sai kuma Hajiya Ayesha wadda muke kira da Umma, ita ce kuma mahaifiya ta. Mu goma sha biyu Abba ya haifa, takwas daga ciki yayan Hajiya ne wadanda suka hada da Sa'adatu (Mama Sa'a), Hadiza (Mama Hadiza), Yaya Shamsu, Yaya Aminu,  Yaya Hudallah, Yaya Mukhtar, Yaya Muslim da kuma Aysha (Farhan) wadda take takwarar Umma kuma autar Hajiya.

A dakin Umma kuma mu huɗu ne, Yaya Tahir ne babba, sai Mahmud (Abbah) sannan ni Hauwa'u (Jidda) sannan autar mu Maya (Amira) wadda take autar gidan gabaki daya. 

Mahaifiya ta Ayesha, yar asalin kasar Ethiopia ce, duk da cewa bata taba taka kafarta zuwa kasar ba har yanzu. Mahaifinta, Amadi, ya baro kasar su ne ya taho neman kudi har ya sauka a Nigeria kuma ya kafa kasuwancin sa anan Kano, Allah yayi anan abincinsa yake, saboda son ya koma gida ya saka iyayensa a lokacin suka nema masa auren kakata Maya, takwarar Amira, dan suna tunanin idan suka yi masa aure zai koma gida, sai dai ya koma din amma ana daura masa auren sai ya dauko matar tasa ya taho da ita Nigeria itama, suka ci gaba da zamansu anan a dole yan uwa suka hakura ya zamanto tsakanin su da juna sai dai ziyara da kuma ta hanyar waya. 

Yaya uku Allah ya basu, Umma ta ce babba, sai Aunty Afia, sannan Uncle Salim, shikenan. Umma ta da yanuwanta babu wani yare ko kabilar da suka sani sai Hausawa tunda a cikin su suka taso, yaren ma sunfi iya hausa akan nasu yaren, kamanni ne kawai suke tona asirin cewa ba hausawa bane ba, bayan haka babu wanda zai iya ware su dan har birth certificate dinsu na Nigeria ne. Sai dai kamar yadda muka samu labari cewa ba'a jima da haihuwa ta ba sai Allah yayi wa kakata rasuwa anan kano, a lokacin ne babansu ya nemi ya tafi dasu gabakidaya can garin su dan dangi su gansu kuma suyi musu gaisuwa amma sai Abba ya hana Umma zuwa saboda tana jego na kuma lokacin, wannan abu ne da Umma har yau bata manta ba saboda a can ne bayan sunje Allah yayiwa babanta rasuwa shima. Wannan yasa Aunty Afia ce kadai ta dawo Nigeria dan Uncle Salim shima zamansa yayi a can cikin yan'uwa. A inda yanzu har yayi aure, sai dai lokaci zuwa lokaci ya kan kawo wa su Umma ziyara kuma aunty Afia tana dan zuwa babu laifi amma Umma har yau bata je ba, ita tayi fushi ta daina tambaya shi kuma Abba bai ma san fushi tayi ba ya dauka hakura tayi.

Umma na da yan gidan su mutane ne masu rikon addini sosai, sannan suna da dauke kai da hakuri da juriya da tawakkali duk da dai zama da Hajiya ya chanja Umma sosai, kamar yadda muke ji wani lokacin Abba yana fada "ba haka halin ki yake ba, ni bansan ki da rigima ba, ni hakuri na san ki dashi" amma yau da gobe bata bar komai ba. Tabbas duk hakurin ka indai kana zaune da mutum mai irin halin Hajiya to dole sai ka tanka mata.

Hajiya mace ce mai tsananin fada, mai tsananin kishi, fadanta kuma bai tsallake kan yayanta ba dan suma ba kyale su take yi ba idan suka yi mata abinda bata so. Bata son Umma ko kadan, ko zaman hour daya idan kayi da ita zaka fahimci bata son Umma, in kuwa kana son kaga bacin ranta to ka fadi wani alkhairi a game da Umma ko kuma abinda ya shafe ta. 

Wannan rashin jituwa ya wuce daga tsakanin su ya tarar har kan mu mu yayan su. Manyan yayan Hajiya duk sunyi aure tun muna kanana. Ni da nake yar Umma ta uku nice sa'ar autar Hajiya (Farhan), wannan banbancin shekarun ne ya kara saka distance a tsakanin mu da rashin shakuwa tunda bamu taso tare ba musamman Mama Sa'a, Mama Hadiza, yaya shamsu da yaya Aminu, duk bamu wani saba dasu sosai ba dan ko mun hadu tsakanin mu ba ya wuce few words, words din ma kuma most of the times marasa dadi. "Barbarar yanyawa" shine sunan da Hajiya take kiran mu dashi ita da manyan yayanta. 

Abba mutum ne mai rikakken ra'ayi, babu wanda yake saka shi kuma babu wanda yake hana shi, hakan kuma ya samo nasaba ne da cewa bashi da mahaifa a raye sai kannen mahaifan sa wadanda kuma yawanci a gurinsa suke samun kwandala dan haka babu wanda yake iya ce masa "a'a". In yayi magana abinda kawai yake bukatar yaji shine "to" baya son jayayya ballantana shawara. Baya kuma shawara da kowa idan zaiyi abinsa sai dai kawai ki ga yayi, wani lokacin ma sai yayi sannan zaku sani daga baya. 

Baya wasa ko kadan. Ba wai yana takura mana bane ba ko kuma baya son mu a'a ba ya nuna mana soyayyar sa ne, typical uban bahaushe, zai providing dukkan basic needs din mu sannan zai tsaya a dukkan al'amuran mu amma babu emotions a ciki. 

Sannan kuma yana da wani ra'ayi wanda da ban fahimce shi ba sai da na kara girma sannan na fahimta, sai kuma na lura ba shi kadai bane ba yawanci mazan hausawa suna da wannan ra'ayin, suna kallon mata a matsayin masu karamar kwakwalwa kuma weak ba zasu iya yin tunanin komai ba, ba zasu iya bayar da shawarar komai ba, ba kuma zasu iya tsayawa kansu ba ballantana su tsayawa wanin su sai dai su a tsaya musu. 

Wannan dalilin ne ya saka baya barin ƴaƴan sa mata suyi dogon karatu kafin yayi musu aure dan yana ganin za'a iya yi musu wayo a yaudare su a lalata su, ko kuma su fitsare su daina jin magana su daina bin umarnin sa suyi tunanin dai dai suke da maza suma. 

Sai dai deep inside him yana son suyi karatun su mori ilimin su, wannan ya saka duk wanda zai aura wa yarsa yana yin yarjejeniya da su cewa zasu barsu suyi karatu bayan aure, har alkawari yake yi cewa shi zai dauki nauyin kudin karatun burinsa dai kawai a bari din, amma cikin ikon Allah kaf surukan nasa babu wanda ya cika masa wannan burin, daga an shiga sai ciki, sai reno sai wani cikin, sai kuma ace an tara yaya karatu ba zai yiwu ba. Aunty Hudallah ce kawai tayi diploma a Legal, shikenan kuma bata kara komai ba. 

Abba yakan yi mita akan haka wasu lokutan, amma bai taba samun surukan nasa yayi musu mitar ko kuma ya tilasta musu suyi abinda yake so ba, saboda ya riga ya saka a ransa cewa duk wanda ya auri yarsa kuma ya rike ta bai sako masa ita ba to ba karamin rufa masa asiri yayi ba. 

"Dakin miji shine babban rufin asirin mace. Duk abinda kuke so na daga kudi ko wani abu ku zo ku same ni in dai ina da shi zanyi muku, amma duk wata matsala data shafi mazajen ku ku barta a cikin ku, bana son ji, ko iyayen ku mata kar ku gaya wa sirrin auren ku. Ku je ku sasanta a tsakanin ku ba tare da kowa yaji ba, wannan shine halin mace ta gari".

Wannan ita ce nasihar da mukan ji yana yiwa yayyen mu mata idan sunzo gaishe shi. Wani lokacin idan yana cikin fada yakan ce 

"Duk wadda taki bin mijinta a cikin ku babu ni babu ita. Duk wadda ta yi yaji wai dan tana ganin mijinta yayi mata wani abu na rashin kyautawa to ta tafi gidan wani ba gida na ba. Duk wadda ta kashe aurenta to ta nemi wani uban bani ba. Duk wadda ta jawo min magana ta zubar min da mutunci Allah ya isa tsakani na da ita"

Wannan maganar, hatta mu da bamu yi aure ba a lokacin, mun rike ta tamkar karatu a kan mu....

Har yanzu ina iya tuno yarintar mu da irin cin zalina da yaya Muslim ya ringa yi har sai da ya kasance ko tsakar gida bana iya fitowa dan inya kama gashina ya murde sai nayi kamar zanyi fitsari a wando, sai da yaya Tahir ya ritsa shi yayi masa duka sannan na samu sa'ida amma duk da haka in dai baya kusa in ya ganni sai ya dake ni, daga nan kuma sai rigima ta balle tsakanin Umma da Hajiya. 

In short, abinda nake so in nuna muku shine gidan mu babu zaman lafiya, babu soyayya a tsakanin mu da yanuwan mu, akwai yan ubanci sosai a tsakanin mu da yan uwan mu. 

But there is one exception.......

Ni da Farhan tamkar tagwaye ne, babu yadda iyayen mu mata basuyi ba dan su raba tsakanin mu tun muna kanana amma basu samu nasara ba, Farhan ce babbar kawata, ita ce kuma babbar aminiya ta tun kafin in san menene kalmar aminiya, na dai san duk sanda muka hadu sai ma bata labarin duk abinda ya faru a lokacin da bama tare ita ma kuma sai ta bani. Kasancewar kwana bakwai ne kawai tsakani na da ita ya saka ajin mu daya aboko da islamiyya, wannan yasa dole iyayen mu mata suka barmu muke tafiya tare, in mun dawo gida ma tare muke karatu, ina kaunar Farhan sosai dan har cikin zuciyata bana jin suna da banbanci ita da Amira.

Bayan kammala primary school din mu ne sai Farhan taci jarabawar da muka rubuta ta day science ta kano, ni kuma na fadi, lamarin da har yau Umma ta kan alakanta shi da kasancewar kanin Hajiya a cikin masu ruwa da tsaki a gurin marking jarabawar "ita ta saka aka kayar dake, babu wata faduwa da kika yi, bata so ki je ne" wannan rikicin ya saka Abba ya yi ta cuku cuku har ya samo min admission a GSSS Taura, ta hanyar principal din makarantar wadda suke da dangantaka a matsayin su na masu aiki iri daya.

Makarantar daga senior ta fara,amma sai akayi sa'a a shekarar suka dauki jenior section da niyyar zasu raine su, naci sa'a na fada cikin wannan tsarin. Abba ya so ta bashi space din mutum biyu sai ya hada ni ni da Farhan amma bai samu ba, dole ya hakura aka kaini ni kadai aka bar Farhan a Day Science. 

Zan iya tunawa da ranar da aka kaini ina ta kukan rabuwa da gida da kuma rabuwa da Farhan sai aka kawo wata itama daga Kano itama tana kuka, aka hada mu seat daya malamar da take ajin tace mun zama kawaye tunda muna kuka. Sai kuwa gashi kawancen namu ya dore, kusan halayyar mu daya da ita da kankantar jiki, da yanayin mu. Sunan ta Halima Usmam Kollere, bafulatana ce, nima kuma da yake mutane da yawa basa gane kabila ta sai ake min kallon fulani dan haka kawancen mu ya dace sosai.

Babban abinda nafi tunowa a tare da Halima shine yayanta kuma saurayinta Sadauki. I doubt in ta ma san soyayya a lokacin, dan ni dai ban sani ba, abinda kawai na sani shine duk sanda kuka zauna sai ta baku labarin Sadauki, kalma biyu uku in tayi to ta hudun sunan Sadauki ce. Babu wanda ya san Halima ba tare da yasan sadaukin ta ba. I can remember in yazo mata visiting har satar jiki muke yi muje muyi ta leken su muna dariya.

Sai dai.......muna gama jss munyi hutu mun dawo Halima bata dawo ba, muka yi ta cigiyar ta sai wani malami da yake abokin baban ta ya gaya mana babanta ya rasu sannan kuma anyi mata aure, wannan labarin ya girgiza mu sosai, mun kuma yi takaicin rabuwa da ita da kuma alhinin mutuwar mahaifin ta, sai kuma muka yi mata murnar auren saurayin ta da take mutuwar so. Sadauki.......

Bayan munyi hutu har gidan su naje, saboda na taba karbar address dinta sanda muna tare, amma sai na tarar da gidan a rufe, na tambaya a makota aka gaya min mai gidan ya rasu su kuma sun tashi daga gidan. Wannan shine rabuwata da *Diyam*

Bayan mun rabu da Halima, bayan mun shiga ss1 ne aka kawo Mufida, ita tayi replacing Halima a gurina. Zainab Muhammad Gidado ƴa ce a gurin attajiri Alhaji Muhammad Gidado Fata, mutumin daya shahara ya kuma yi suna akan sana'ar sa ta siyan fata, sarrafa ta tare da fitar da ita zuwa kasashen waje da siyar da ita a can. Sana'ar sa ta karbe shi kuma yayi arziki da ita. 

Yayansa Bakwai, Yaya Mubaraka itace babba, sai Umar Faruq, sai Muhibbat, Muhsina, sannan Mufida auta a gurin mahaifiyarsu Hajiya Maimunatu da suke kira da Mama, sai kuma twins din amaryar Alhaji Afnan da Affan. 

Umar Faruq kyakykyawan saurayi ne da yake ji da kansa a fannin kudi, ilimi, gata, asali, background mai kyau da kuma uwa uba kyau. Bafulatani ne shi ta bangaren uwa da uba baki daya, kuma matsayin da yake dashi na babban da na Alhaji Mahmud ya saka iyayen suka dage wajen ganin sun bashi ilimi mai kyau har xuwa matsayin cikakken likita, wanda ya samu a cikin wannan shekarar, sannan kuma suka dora shi akan son kannensa tare da fatan ko babu ransu shi din zai zama mai rike yanuwansa ya zame musu uwa da uba.

Sun kuma yi nasara, dan Umar ya samu duk abinda suke so ya samu, sannan kuma yana tsananin son yanuwan nasa kamar yadda suka yi fata. Dan tun yanzu da yake a matsayin matashi kuma suke still da ransu da lafiyar su a duniya ya riga ya karbe kuma ya tsaya akan dukkan al'amuran da suka shafi yanuwan sa, dasu kansu ma, wannan abin shi ne ya sake polishing tauraruwar sa a idon mahaifan sa tare da dukkan sauran wadanda suka san shi.

Ba iyayen Umar ba hatta yan'uwa, makota, da abokan arziki suna yabawa da halayyar sa musamman yadda yake faran faran da mutane da kuma yadda yake girmama manya. Sukan yiwa ƴaƴansu fada da cewa "me yasa ba zaka zama kamar Umar Fata ba? Yaron kirki mai ganin girman mutane, shi ko yar sigarin nan ma ta matasa shi baya sha"

Abu daya ya rage wa Umar yazama perfect son, shine aure.....


******************************************


Ina ta tunanin mafita a kan sabuwar rayuwa da zan fuskanta a haka har muka je gida

Gidan mu yana nan a unguwar gandun albasa dake garin Kano. Gaban gidan railer ne doguwa tun daga farkon gidan har karshe. A cikin ta ne Abba yake ajiye motar sa tunda bashi da garage. Idan ka shiga cikin ta akwai kofa biyu, daya double door ce wadda zata shiga da kai cikin sitting room din Abba, a nan ne yake zama da bakin sa anan ne kuma duk wani bako namiji yake sauka, a cikin sitting room din akwai dakuna guda biyu da kuma toilet, a dakunan samarin gidan suke zaune duk da dai yanzu tun bayan bikin yaya Muntari saura su uku, Tahir, Muslim, da Abbah. 

Sannan a cikin railer da akwai karamar kofa wadda zata shiga da kai cikin corridor shi kuma zai shiga da kai tsakar gida, tsakar gidan bashi da girma sosai, kana shiga dakuna biyu ne suke facing dinka, ɗakunan Hajiya da Umma, kowacce ciki da falo madaidaita, sai kuma dogon filin da muke cewa ventilation a bayan dakunan nasu inda anan ne muke shanya kayan wankin mu. Kowacce tana da toilet a cikin falon ta. 

Sai kuma daki daya daga barin hagu wanda shine dakin yammata, Farhan ce kadai a ciki yanzu sai ni da nake da niyyar zama tare da ita.  A barin dama kuma kitchen ne, sai kuma toilet din tsakar gida a kusa da kofar shigowa.

A gaban toilet din benen Abba ne wanda ya hau zuwa saman dakunan su Umma. Shima ciki da falo neda kuma katuwar baranda da yake zama mostly da yamma har zuwa dare, lokacin zafi ma anan yake kwana. Da azumi ma anan yake shan ruwa.......

Da damuwa a raina na shiga gidan mu, sai dai ina shiga ganin ummata ya wanke duk wasu traces na bacin rai da suke cikin rai na, naji zuciyata tayi fari kal, naji cewa kowanne problem ma mai sauki ne ashe in dai har kana da uwa a duniya, ko bata yi maka maganin sa ba ganin ta kawai ya isa ya warkar da dukkan damuwa.

Abinci mai rai da lafiya na tarar an shirya min, shinkafa da miyar kifi da salad kamar yadda nake so, Farhan tayi min dan malele da manja da yaji da tumatir da albasa. Ga kuma sobo mai sanyi an hada min. Sai ma na rasa wanda zanci ina ganin kamar sunyi min yawa amma dana faraci sai na lura ashe akwai yunwa sosai a tare da ni, musamman da Farhan da Amira suka saka hannu sai mukayi ta zurawa muna hira har bamu san mun cinye ba.

Ga masu son siya zasu iya turo kudin su #300 zuwa wannan account din

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Sai su turo evidence of payment zuwa wannan number din ta hanyar WhatsApp
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*💔 Jidda 💔*

*By*

*Maman Maama*

*Episode Four : Musa*

Bayan mun gama ne naje nayi wanka na chanja kaya zuwa atamfa riga da skirt da dankwali, suna ta yabawa da sabon kitsona ni kuma ina complain din zafi yake min, sai Umma ta ce inje in gaishe da Hajiya sannan in shiga makota duk in gaishe su kafin Abba ya dawo.

A dakin Hajiya na tarar da ita tare da Mammy babbar yar mama Sa'a, lokacin sunyi Junior candy shine tazo zata kwana biyu a gidan. 

Na gaishe da Hajiya, ta amsa babu yabo babu fallasa "an gama jarabawa ko? Allah ya bada sa'a. Saura aure kuma ko? Sai dai ke naga kamar har yanzu babu wani tsayayye, to Allah yayi zabin alkhairi"

Farhan da  take zaune a kan hannun kujerar da nake kai tace "ameen" tana kallo na da dariya, ni kuma na harare ta cikin wasa. Hajiya ta kalle ta tace "ke kam dai ai na roki baban ku ya bar min ke kiyi makarantar nan dai kema, kuma insha Allahu Allah zai dora ni a kansa tunda dai ke ce auta ai ba zai hana ba, ballantana yadda kike da kokarin nan dan Alhaji Kabiru ya gaya min ana saka ran zaki ci jarabawa sosai". 

Farhan tace "insha Allah zan ci Hajiya. Kuyi tayi mana addu'a ni da Jidda mu tafi jami'a tare" Hajiya ta rike baki "Jidda kuma? Ke ma kinsan Jidda aure za'a yi mata musamman yadda tayi girman nan haka. Ita ma umman ta ai zata so taga nata jikokin tunda a kanta zata fara samu, su zo suyi ta danne ta itama" ta karasa tana ture Mammy da ta dora kanta akan cinyarta tana danne danne a yar karamar wayar da take hannunta. 

Muka yi dariya gabaki daya, ta mike zaune tana bata rai sannan ta kalle ni sama sama tace "sannu da zuwa. An gama school. Congratulations" "thank you" nima na bata amsa a takaice. In da sabo na saba da rashin kunyar Mammy amma bana taba kulata saboda gudun karin raini a tsakanin mu. 

Farhan ta karbe wayar hannun Mammy "marar kunya. Bani inga abinda kike aikatawa a wayar. Haka kawai mu manyan yammata ba'a bamu waya ba sai ke yar ficiciya da ke, wani in ya gani sai ya dauka ubanki wani abu ne a Kano" ta fada tana duba screen din yar karamar wayar data karba daga hannun Mammy. Ina kallon Hajiya tana hararar Farhan a fakaice, dan babu abinda ta tsana irin a fadi aibun wani nata a gaban mu ko wani wanda ya shafe mu, kullum nunawa take yi tamkar yayanta sunfi kowa komai bayan mun san ba haka bane ba. 

Dariyar da Farhan tayi ce ta dawo da hankalin mu kanta, ta nuna min wayar "kinga, wai facebook take yi, dan Allah ji wani hoto da ta saka ita a dole yammata ce" na karba ina kallo, taci kwalliya an sha jambaki da uban gilashi, ga maza nan sun dage sai comment suke yi mata "WOW" "wow" "wow" sai kace wata jiniyar motar asibiti. Na rike baki nima ina dariya. Ta taso ta warce wayarta daga hannuna tana kunkuni ta shige cikin daki.

Farhan tace "kar dai ki zage mu, marar kunya, kin san ni yanzu sai in fasa miki baki wallahi, kuma wannan hoton kamar a kunnen uwarki, gwara tasan me kike yi da wayar". Ganin Hajiya har yanzu tana ta harare harare yasa na mike tare da cewa "bara inje in gaishe da Abba naji kamar ya shigo" tace "okay, wannan maganar sai kin tashi mayi" nayi murmushi, tatsuniyar gizo dai bata wuce ta koki, ba zai wuce zancen wani sabon saurayi ba ko something like that. Tun muna yra Farhan ce yar soyayyar cikin mu, kullum zancen ta baya wuce na samari ko aure ko wani abu mai kama da haka.

Ina fita na tsaya ina kallon saman Abba, kofar falon sa a bude take nasan yana ciki amma  gabana faduwa kawai yake yi dan ban san da wadda zai tarye ni ba. Haka muke ni da Farhan kullum fargabar zuwa gaishe shi da safe muke yi, in mun tafi a hanya kuwa munyi ta tunani ko akwai wani laifi da mukayi wanda ba'a yi mana fada a kansa ba. In kuwa dama mun san munyi laifi har kirkirar ciwon karya muke yi mu kwanta a daki mu ki zuwa gaishe shi amma har dakin ya kan biyo mu yayi mana fadan ko da kuwa muna karkarwar zazzabi ne. 

Nayi bismillah sannan na hau benen a hankali cikin nutsuwa naje kofar falon nayi sallama sannan na saurara, daga can ciki naji ya amsa min. Na daga labule na shiga na ganshi a zaune akan kujera da table a gabansa da takardu a kan table din, da alama aikin makaranta ne ya taho da shi gida. Na dan karasa gabansa kadan na durkusa na gaishe shi. Ya dago kai yana kallona yace "Hauwa'u an dawo gida ko? Ya jarabawar taku?" Na danyi murmushi "alhamdulillah Abba" yace "good, Allah ya bada sa'a. Kuka ya kare ko?" Na sake murmushi bance komai ba sai ya kuma mayar da hankalinsa kan takardun gabansa. 

Hakan yasa nayi yunkurin mikewa ina jin dadin ba'a yi min fadan komai ba, sai naji yace "dakata tukuna" gaba na ya fadi amma automatically na koma na zauna ina jiran me zai ce sai ya fara magana.

"To alhamdulillah. Kin kammala secondary school dinki. Allah yayi miki albarka"

Nace "ameen" 

Ya cigaba "zan so ace kin cigaba da karatun ki har ki zama wata aba a rayuwa, amma kuma zan so ace kinyi hakan ne a gidan mijinki ba'a gidan nan ba. Saboda haka nayi wa yanuwanki kuma kema haka zanyi miki. Kai ko da ba haka nayi musu ba ke hakan zanyi miki saboda idanuwan mutane sunfi yawa a kanki a kan akan su. Wannan idon na jama'a shine dalilin da yasa ban matsa akan sai na samo miki makarantar day kamar yaruwarki ba, saboda na fahimci cewa tafiyar ki makarantar kwana shi zaifi kwantar min da hankali a kanki,ba ruwa na da tunanin ina kike ko tare da wa kike me kuma yake gaya miki. Abinda yasa nafi damuwa da ke akan yaruwar ki saboda banbancin halitta da yake tsakanin ke da sauran mutanen mu, zaki fi jan hankalin mutane musamman maza saboda suna ganin ki daban da sauran mata."

To yanzu kuma gashi kin gama kin dawo, kin kara komai da zai ja hankali kanki ɗin, amma kuma ina tunanin kin kara hankali. Wannan yasa nake miki wannan maganar. Ba wai ina gaya miki ki fito da miji inyi miki aure ne ba a'a ina gaya miki na baki iznin yin samari, kuma hakan da na fada ba wai yana nufin na baki izni kiyi ta kula ko waye yayi miki magana a hanya ba, duk wanda yayi miki magana cewa yana so ya nemi auren ki to ki turo min shi gurina first in fara ganin sa in san ko shi waye sannan in bashi iznin fara neman ki ko kuma in naga bashi da nagarta in hana shi, kar ki yarda in ganki tare da wani wanda ban san da zamansa ba, kar ki yarda in ganki tare da wanda na hana ki ganin sa. Idan lokacin da nake son yi miki aure yayi zan gaya miki ki fitar a cikin wadanda suke zuwa gurin ki. In kin bi abinda nace zamu dai dai ta in kuma baki bi ba to zamu bata ni da ke"

Na gyada kai da sauri a raina ina lissafin abinda yake nufi da batawar, na dauka ya gama sai kuma naji yace "kinsan yaron nan Musa?" Na daga kai ina kallon sa, sannan nace cikin rashin fahimta "wanne?" Yace "dan gidan Malam Magaji na bakin layin nan" na fahimci wanne Musa yake nufi, yayan kawar mu Sakina, tabbas na san shi ina ganin sa a hanya ko kuma in mun shiga gidan su ni da Farhan mun biya wa Sakina zuwa islamiyya. 

Na gyada kai kirjina yana bugawa nace "na san shi Abba" yace "good, yaron kirki ne mai girmama mutane da addini, wani lokacin ma shi yake kiran sallah a masallacin mu idan ladan baya kusa. Satin daya gabata Malam Magaji ya same ni ya gaya min cewa Musa ya aiko shi ya gaya min yana son a bashi iznin neman auren ki" 

Na dago kai da sauri ina girgiza kai, yace "ba cewa nayi na bashi ba, duk yayana mata babu wadda nayi wa auren dole kuma kema ba zanyi miki ba, na bashi izni zai ke zuwa wajen ki, idan kun daidaita to shikenan idan kuma baku daidaita ba kuma Allah ya kawo wani nagari sai muyi masa fatan alkhairi"

Nayi ajjiyar zuciya ina jin sanyi a raina, lallai ma wannan musan, ko a fuska bai taba nuna min wani abu ba, babu abinda yake hada mu sai gaisuwa a hanya in mun hadu ko a gidan su, gaisuwar ma wani lokacin Farhan ce take yi ni sai inyi kamar ban gan shi ba.

Daga haka Abba ya sallame ni na taso ina jin wani iri a raina har na fara saukowa daga stairs sai kuma na tsaya ina murmushi ni kadai, tabbas na samu hanyar gane gaskiyar magana akan Umar, in dai har ya kuma dawowa gurina zan gaya masa yaje yaga Abba, in dai ba da gaske yake ba nasan zai gudu, in kuma da gaske yake to shikenan ni na huta da neman wasu samari kuma, dan na riga na gani na yaba kuma na gamsu.

Sai dai kuma da dare bayan mun kammala komai munyi shirin kwanciya sannan na zayyanawa Farhan labarin Umar, yadda muka hadu da yadda nake ji a zuciya ta game da shi, abinda ya gaya min shima da kuma yadda mukayi da Mufida. Sai kuma na bata labarin abinda Abba yace min da shawarar dana yanke akan Umar. "Kinga in ba da gaske yake ba sai yayi tafiyar sa kawai" 

Sai kawai naga tayi dariya, na tsaya ina kallon ta dan ni banga abin dariya a cikin magana ta ba, sai da ta gama dariyar ta sannan tace "lallai Jidda kin tabbata yar boarding school wadda bata san abinda yake faruwa a cikin gari ba. Ai in dai dan yaudarar ne kamar yadda kanwarsa uwa daya uba daya ta fada to kuwa zuwa gurin Abba ba zai hana shi yaudarar ki ba. Rikakkun yan yaudara su kan kawo kudin aure ma kuma har zuciyarsu ba da gaske suke ba. Ke dai kawai muyi ta addu'a muna neman zabin Allah tare da neman tsari daga hatsabibai kuma mugayen samari" 

Nayi tagumi da hannu daya ina kallon ta, ina jin duk farin ciki na na samun solution yana tafiya. Ta dan baya rai "ke ni har cikin raina ma sai naji bai yi min ba duk da ban ganshi ba. Yadda kike tsara shi sai nake ganin kamar kinyi masa kankanta, irin su manyan yammata suke so wayayyu yan jami'a"

I was so into my problem har na manta da maganar da tun ina makaranta take cewa zata gaya min. Sai da ta tuna min "baki tambaye ni labarin da zan baki ba?" Na juya barin da take ina kallon ta, sai naji kunyar mantawar da nayi, nace "okay, ina ji. Bani labarin new catch din" tayi murmushi mai sautin da ya saka nan take na fahimci cewa ita ma duk a cikin jirgin da nake a nan take ita ma, jirgin soyayya.

"Kinga, sunan sa Sulaiman, lokacin da muna waec shine yake mana invigilation, to shine fa ranar nan mun taso na fito neman mota zan taho gida sai gashi yazo wucewa shine ya dauko ni" 

Na bude ido "a motarsa? Baki ji tsoro ba? Da Abba ya gan ku fa?" Tayi murmushi "nima naji tsoro ai, but kawai na daure, kuma dai rabon zamu dai dai ta ne. That was how it started" na dan dake ta kadan ina dariya "to a ina zata yi ending?" Ta juya ido "a inda zaku yi ending ke da Umar din ki" na dauki pillow na na doke ta ita ma ta dauki nata ta rama, muka yi tayi sai da muka gaji dan kanmu sannan muka kwanta muna haki, sai kuma muka cigaba da hira, planning our lives, but Allah shine the greatest of planners duk namu tatsuniya ne.

Kwana na biyar a gida, a cikin kwana biyar din nan Sulaiman yazo, dama already ya samu amincewar Abba, kuma naje mun gaisa da shi ya kuma kwanta min a rai, mutum ne mai faran faran da wasa da dariya. 

Malamin makaranta ne shima kamar Abba, sai dai bai kai Abba dadewa a system din ba kuma bai kai Abba matsayi ba. Kuma daga ganinsa ba karami bane ba sai dai yana da karamin jiki kuma yana da kyau dai dai gwargwado da saurin shiga zuciya and I didn't blame Farhan for falling for him.

A daya bangaren kuma tunda na dawo gida kullum idan wayar Umma tayi kara sai inyi sauri in duba, a raina ina tunanin ko Umar ne, dan nasan a gurin Mufida zai nemi hanyar samuna kuma nasan number din Umma take da ita. Sai dai the call never came through. 

Haka zalika a duk lokacin da naji yaro yayi sallama sai inyi tunanin ko za'a ce ana sallama da Jidda ne amma shiru. Sai a ranar da nayi five days a gida ne aka aiko kira na 

"Salamu alaikum, wai ana sallama da Jidda" na dago kai daga karatun littafin hausan da nake yi ina kallon Umma, ita ma ni take kalla, sai muka ji Hajiya ta amsa wa yaron tare da cewa yaje ya tambayo waye mai sallamar. Na mike zaune ina wasa da band din hannuna. Zuciya ta tana bugawa da tsananin karfi a kirjina har naji motsin yaron ya dawo yace "wai inji Musa" naji zuciyarta tsaya da bugawar da take yi sai kuma hawaye ya taho zuwa idona. Nayi saurin tsayar dasu tare da sunkuyar da kaina kasa dan kar Umma ta ga kuka na. 

Bata ce min komai ba sai ga Hajiya ta zo ta daga labule, Jidda ana kira a waje, ko ace masa ba zaki zo ba? In ba kya son zuwa sai ace masa ba kya nan shikenan"

Umma tace "tana zuwa, mai zai hana ta zuwa?" Hajiya ta saki labulen tare da cewa "wai da" na mike na shiga cikin daki na zauna a bakin gado, ni dai har ga Allah bana son zuwa, mai zan je inyi? Ni akwai wanda nake jira.. 

Umma ta shigo tana kallona, "yana jiran ki fa" bance komai ba na mike ina neman hijab dina, ta cigaba da magana "baban ku yayi min maganar sa dama, Musa ne dan gidan Malam Magaji na bakin layi, yaron kirki ne ya gama karatun sa har ya samu aiki koyarwa a makarantar su Amira" na saka hijab dina still bance komai ba, tace "ki bude muku sitting room din baban ku, baya son ake tsayawa da samari a titi" na tsaya a gabanta nace "to Umma na tafi" tace "a dawo lafiya Allah ya bada sa'a" bance ameen ba dan bana jin akwai sa'a a fitar tawa.

Ta kofar cikin gida na shiga sannan na bude kofar waje, yana tsaye a cikin railer ya juya bayansa, bude kofar da nayi ya saka ya juyo, na sunkuyar da kaina ban yarda mun hada ido ba nace "bismillah" sannan na koma ciki na zauna a kan kujerar da take ta can karshe wadda daga ita sai kofar da za'a koma cikin gida. Ya shigo da sallama, ya ajiye ledar hannunsa a kasa sannan ya zauna shima, bance komai ba duk da nasan ya kamata in gaishe shi.

Yace "ina wuni Jidda?" Sai naji babu dadi, ko babu komai ya girme ni nesa ba kusa ba. Na dan russuna nace "sannu da zuwa. Ina wuni?" Yace "lafiya lau. Ya bakunta?" Bance komai ba, ya cigaba "ke yanzu kin zama bakuwa anan ko?" Still no answer

Ya zauna yana ta shafa kai sannan yace "nasan zaki yi mamakin ganina a gidan ku, musamman da kika ji gurin ki nazo, amma hakan ba abin mamaki bane ba musanman in kika yi la'akari da ke din wacece......." 

"Ban yi mamaki ba, Abba ya gayamin zaka zo, ya kuma gayamin abinda zai kawo ka"

Ya danyi shiru, sai kuma ya yi murmushi mai sauti yace "Allah sarki Abban mu, ya kyauta min sosai kuma ya taimaka min ya hutacce da ni daga dogon bayani, yanzu abinda ya rage mana shine....." 

Na dago kai da sauri nace "ba cewa yayi ya baka ni ba ai" ya daga hannu "ni ma bance ya bani ke ba, amma at least na taka wani stage mai kyau a maganar mu ko?" Na girgiza kai, "kawai dai kaidar sa ce hakan, ba wai yana nufin wani abu bane ba" yayi shiru yana kallona yayin da ni kuma nake kallon gefe na hade girar sama da ta kasa, yayi ajjiyar zuciya "okay. Maybe na yi raising expectations dina sosai, maybe nayi wa maganar shigar sauri, maybe Jidda zata fi so ace ita na fara samu da maganar kafin Abba. Amma har yanzu ma bata baci ba, ki gaya min abinda kike so inyi, kiyi min magana ki saki jikinki mu fahimci juna ni kuma zanyi duk abinda kike so" 

Na juyo da idona ina kallon sa, sai naji zuciyata tana comparing dinsa da Umar, nayi saurin kawar da tunanin daga raina sannan nace "daga farko ina son inyi karatu" ya danyi shiru, ina jin a jikina kamar kallo na yake yi, sai naji yace da alamar mamaki a muryarsa "karatu kuma?" Na daga kai kawai, yace "I thought Abba baya bari" nace "Abba baya bari ba yana nufin mu bama so ba, dan Abba bai bar yayye na ba ba yana nufin ni ba zai barni ba" 

Yace "duk na fahimci wannan kuma na amince, zan kuma so hakan ta kasance, ni malamin makaranta ne dan haka na san darajar karatu ba kuma zan so ace matata bata da ilimi ba, amma ina tuna mana cewa biyayya ga iyaye wani babban abu ce a rayuwa, idan Abba bai bari ba ina so mu dauka a haka, ba sai lallai kinyi karatu a waje ba, zaki iya yi daga ciki hankalin ki a kwance" na dago ina kallon sa a raina ina tunanin ko wannan shine maganar da mazajen sisters dina suke yi musu kafin aure. 

Jin nayi shiru yace "look Jidda daga kallon da kike min da kuma yadda kike amsa min magana na fahimci cewa banyi miki ba, and I understand that, amma ba wai na hakura bane ba yanzu ma na fara insha Allah, abinda nake bukata daga gareki kawai shine dan Allah kar ki rufe zuciyarki ki bar min ita a bude ni kuma xanyi iyakacin kokarin ganin na shiga cikin ta a hankali. Ki daure, ba dan ni ba kinji Hauwa'u?" 

Na gyada kai na a hankali ina jin a raina babu dadi saboda yadda nayi masa, amma kuma sai zuciyata ta ji haushina akan damar dana amince zan ba shi, yayi murmushi, "Nagode. Insha Allahu ba za kiyi nadamar yin hakan ba" ya fada yana gyara zama,  sai na mike tsaye da sauri nace "am sorry zan koma cikin gida, dama ina yin wani abu ne aka yi kirana" fuskarsa ta nuna rashin jin dadin hakan amma baiki ba sai ya mike tare da miko min ledojin daya shigo dasu a hannunsa yace "shikenan, Nagode sosai da kika fito kuma kika saurare ni, ga wannan a bawa Amira" na girgiza kai na, "ka barshi kawai" ya matso "ai ba ke na bawa ba, Amira nace ki bawa" na sake girgiza kai "ka barshi kawai" sannan na juya na koma cikin gida. 

A falon Umma na same ta tare da Abbah da Amira suna hira, Umma tace "ya akayi? Ya tafi?" Na gyada kai kawai ina jin kamar zanyi kuka, na kwanta akan kujera na juya musu baya duk da ina jin Abbah yana tsokana ta wai na fita zancen farko a rayuwata "ya kamata in dauke ki a hoto in ajiye miki tarihi, sai kin haihu in nuna wa yayanki" 

Amira tayi dariya "na ganshi ai a sitting room, Yaya Musa ne yayan kawata Saddika, dama kullum muka hadu sai ya bani wani abu ashe yayata yake so" suka sake yin dariya tare da Umma, Umma tace "ni ma muna haduwa da babarsa a islamiyya, ranar nan ma har take bayar da labarin cewa ya samu aiki ta bada sadaka tace ayi masa addu'a" naji kamar zan tashi in bar musu gurin sai mukaji yaro yayi sallama a tsakar gida

Amira ta mike tana amsawa a lokacin da Hajiya itama ta fito daga nata dakin tana amsawa, banji me yaron yace sosai ba sai da Amira ta dawo hannun ta da ledojin da naki karba daga hannun Musa tana murna, suka zauna suna budawa, daya kayan kwalliya ne da turare a ciki dayar kuma fruits, na tashi na shiga ciki dan haushin su nake ji kuma babu yadda zanyi dasu, su kuma duk sai suka dauka wai kunya nake ji, ina ciki naji yaya Tahir ya shigo shima amma naki komawa duk da cewa inaso ayi hirar dani nayi kwanciya ta a daki.

Sai dare bayan mun kwanta ni da Farhan sannan na samu na bude abinda yake zuciyata. "Bana sonsa" na fada mata. Bata nuna mamaki ba tace "saboda me?" Na gyara kwanciya ta ina neman dalili, ba zan hada shi da Umar a kyau ba amma kuma ba zan kira shi da mummuna ba, yana kuma da hali mai kyau dan kowa a unguwa ya shaida, babansa abokin Abba ne, maman sa kawar Umma ce, kanwarsa kawata ce, daya kanwar tasa kuma kawar Amira, yana da ilimi na addini dana boko dai dai gwargwado. What else nake bukata kuma?

Na yamutsa fuska nace "yayi min gajarta da yawa, da kadan fa ya fini tsaho, sannan sunan sa babu dadi" Farhan ta kwashe da dariya har da rike ciki sannan tace "Allah da gaske? Wannan dalili ne? Ki fadi gaskiya, ko dai kina nufin ki ce Umar ya cika ko'ina babu gurin da Musa zai zauna?"

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Episode Five : The Visit

Free Episode

Ranar dana kwana goma a gida ne na gaji da jiran kiran wayarsa nayi deciding zan kira Mufida watakila ko zan samu wani labari a kansa a gurinta, duk da dai nasan cewa pride dina ba zai barni in tambaye ta shi ba. Na dauko slum book dina na nemo number din ta na kira a wayar Umma, bugu biyu ta dauka "Hello?" Nace "hey Mufida" sai tayi dariya cikin murna tace "Jidda? Wow. Ko da yake nayi fushi, ke da mukayi da ke cewa kina zuwa gida zaki kira ni amma sai da muka kwana goma sannan zaki kira?" Nayi murmushi "kiyi hakuri yammata, ko da yake ai bai kamata in baki hakuri ba tunda kema ai kina da number din Umma mai yasa baki kira ni ba? Dan haka laifin ba nawa bane ba ni kadai" sai tayi dariya kawai. 

Muka yi ta hirar mu, kowa yana bayar da labarin abinda ya faru bayan zuwan mu gida, a lokacin ne take bani labarin zasu tafi Lagos suyi hutu gabaki dayan yan gidan su "banda yaya doctor tunda shi yana aiki" a wannan statement din ne kawai ta ambaci sunan sa, ban nemi karin bayani ba kuma nima ban ambace shi ba har muka yi sallama. At least dai naji cewa he is fine, sai dai wannan ya saka na sake shiga wani tunanin, tunanin dalilin da yasa bai neme ni ba har yanzu.

A ranar ne kuma da yamma muna cin abinci tare da Umma da Amira, sai ga Abba ya shigo falon, ya zaro kudi daga aljihunsa ya ajiye akan kujera yana kallona yace "ki shirya gobe da safe ki tafi ki zagaya gidajen yan uwanki, mazan kowa kiyi masa kwana biyu matan kuma kwana daya, sannan ki je gidan Aunties dinki Habiba da Afia suma kiyi musu kwana dai dai. Na amsa da "to" kaina yana kasa ina jin babu dadi a raina, duk yayyen nawa ba wani jin dadin juna muke yi ba dan haka ba dadin ziyarar zanji ba, Umma ta gyara zama tace "amma da an barta tayi wa Afia kwanaki da yawa, yaushe rabonta da ita? Ba ka taba barinsu suje su kwanar mata ita kuma nata yayan duk hutu sunanan gidan. Dan Allah ka barsu suyi sati ita da Amira. Ita kadai su ke da ita a matsayin dangin uwa" direct yace "kwana daya nace, kuma ita kadai, idan kwana dayan bai yi ba to tayi zaman ta" ya juya ya fita. Duk muka yi shiru kowa ransa babu dadi sai kuma muka ji shi ya dawo yana kwalla wa Farhan kira yace "ki shirya ki bi Jidda zaku zagaya yan'uwa" sai kuma ya sake fita. 

Umma tayi dan karamin tsaki. Wato ya hada ni da Farhan dan kar in ki yin yadda yace. Amma ni sai naji dadin hada ni da Farhan din da yayi, at least zan fi jin dadin tafiyar akan ace ni kadai ce. 

Umma ta dauki kudin daya ajiye tana kirgawa sai ta sake wani tsakin "wannan ai ba zai ishe ku ba, tunda ku biyu ne yanzu, sai dai inya dawo ita sai ta je ta karbi nata tunda wannan ke kadai ya bawa" Amira tace "gashi inda zasu je babu mai basu kudin mota, sai dai ko gidan Aunty Habiba da gidan Mami" Umma ta tabe baki tace "su samu abinda zasu saka a cikin su first kafin suyi tunanin a basu kudin mota. Su kansu nema suke ballantana su bawa wani".

Ban kuma tabbatar da maganganun Umma ba sai da muka je, gidan Mama Sa'a muka fara zuwa, ƴaƴan ta shida, Mammy ce babba kuma tana jss3 a lokacin, amma sai da muka kirga yaya sunfi ashirin a gidan, duk yayan kishiyoyi da mijin yake aura yana saka ana tarawa Mama Sa'a su, ita ma kuma abinda muke tunanin ya saka take gidan har yanzu shine saboda yadda take daukan duk wani wulakancin sa dan tasan in ta mayar masa ya sake ta to bata da gurin zama a gidan mu ita kanta ballantana ƴaƴan ta, ita kuma yadda take sane da yanayin gidan ba zata iya tafiya ta bar yayanta a cikin wannan halin ba. 

Mugu ne na karshe, daga matan har yayan tsoronsa suke ji kamar wani dodo, sai dai jin dadin su daya shine basu rasa ci ba ba kuma su rasa sha ba, ba dai za'a ce suna da komai ba amma basu da yunwa. Sai dai yawan yayan da kuma rashin kulawa daga uban ya saka rasa tarbiyya. Idan kaji yaran suna zabga ashar zaka dauka yayan maguzawa ne, basu kyale kowa ba har matan uban zagi suke yi uban ne kadai basa zaga shima kuma dan sun san jikin su ne zai gaya musu.

Kallo daya zaka yi wa Mama Sa'a ka fahimci cewa ba jin dadin zaman take yi ba, bakin ciki ne fal a zuciyarta babu wanda zata iya budewa zuciyarta. 

Da safe cikin bacci muka ji shi ya shigo ya balbaleta da masifar bata gama sallamar yara da wuri sun tafi makaranta ba har sun makara. "Kina cen kina shegen bacci sai kace kasa, babu abinda kika iya sai dai ki ci ki koshi ki kwanta kiyi ta bacci kina munshari, common abinci ba zaki iya tashi ki dafa wa yara ba bayan na fita na nemo duk abinda kuke bukata babu abinda na rage ku dashi. Ke dai Allah wadaran halinki wallahi" haka ya kare mata tatas bai kodamu da idon mu mu baki ba ballantana kishiyar ta ta lokacin balle kananan yaran da basu fara zuwa makaranta ba. Har ya gama bata ce masa komai ba ya fita sannan ta tashi ta shiga daki, na tabbatar kuka taje tayi, ni kaina da ba ni akayi wa fadan ba saboda raguwar zuciya ce da ni sai naji hawaye yana bin fuska ta. 

Bayan mun shiga dakin ne muka tarar da ita ta zabga tagumi, absentmindedly tace "wallahi, ganin idon Abba ne kawai yake zaune dani a cikin gidan nan, wallahi duk ranar daya fadi ya mutu in na tafi gida na tafi kenan sai dai a raba gidan a bani rabona ko daki daya ne in zauna ni da yarana, in yaso ko kosai in ringa soyawa a bakin layi ina ciyar dasu" sai muka kalli juna ni da Farhan, duk da cewa ba zamu iya kwatanta halin da take ciki ba amma munsan abin ya munana. 

A gidan Mama Hadiza kuma matsalar abinci ne, duk sun rame sun kanjame ita da ƴaƴanta kamar wasu kajin mayu. Maigidan kullum zai yi awo na shinkafa ko hatsi ya kawo daga nan kuma babu abinda zai kara akai, tun daga coal din da take girki da shi har zuwa kan maggi ita zata nema ta siya, kuma yana sane da cewa bata aikin fari balle na ja. Yawan bani banin ta ne ya saka Abba ya siya mata keken dinki duk a kokarin sa na ganin cewa ta zauna a gidan mijinta bata fito ba, to wannan ne ya taimaka mata take dan samun na biyan bukatu, ƙafafuwan ta har sun kumbura saboda zaman kan keke. 

Muna zuwa bayan mun gaishe ta ta miko wa Farhan hannu "autar Hajiya ina sakon da Hajiya tace zaki kawo min?" Farhan ta dauko kudi a jakarta ta mika mata yan dubu dubu guda biyu. Ta karba tana leka hanya dan kar mijin ya gani, "yanzu idan da ace Allah ya kiyaye zai ga wadannan kudin da sai munyi sati bai bamu komai ba yace ai ya gan ni da yan dubu dubu, wannan kudin kuwa yanzu da kyar zai ishe mu siyan mai da barkonon da zamu kwana biyu muna amfani dasu, ga sabulun wankan mu ma ya kare"

Farhan tace "kai Mama Hadiza, yanzu har sabulun wanka ma baku dashi? Duk ina kudin dinkin naki?" Tace "hmmm, dinkin dai ba ina yi ne kawai ba? Duk fa a bashi yake karewa. Wani lokacin sai in hana idona bacci inyi dinki da fatan da safe in an zo karba zamu samu abin karyawa amma in an zo karba sai ace bashi, daga nan kuma shikenan sai dai ayi ta bayar da kudin kadan kadan wata ma sai dai in bita da Allah ya isa".

Gidan yaya Hudallah ne mai dan dama dama, gidan ta fes fes, ita da yarta ma haka, ga abinci nan a wadace, kuma ita kadai ce ta samu nasarar ci gaba da karatu duk da dai itama iyakacin ta diploma, sai dai kadaici. Muna zuwa ta rungume mu tana ta murna "amma dai sati biyu zakuyi ko?" Duk muka kwashe da dariya "kwana daya zamuyi" na fada ina kokarin tsayar da dariya ta amma sai na cigaba ganin yadda tayi da fuska kamar zata yi kuka "haba dai kwana daya. Ni da nake saka ran idan kunzo zan rike ku ku cigaba da zama anan tunda babu abinda kuke yi a gidan? Ni kuma gani kadaici yana neman zautani?" Mijinta a Abuja yake aiki kuma baya zuwa kano sai bayan sati bibbiyu, shtayi tayi kuma ya mayar da su can yaki yace rayuwar Abuja akwai tsada. 

Ta cigaba da mita "na gaji da zama ni kadai wallahi, kuma nayi nayi dashi ya barni in nemi aiki ko private school ne in ringa teaching ina samun yar 10-15k dina amma yaki, wai private basa biyan kudi da yawa sai dai in bari ya nemar min government, aikin gwamnati kuwa a zamanin nan masu degree da masters ma nema suke yi sun rasa ballantana mu masu diploma".

A gidan tane muka fi samun sakewa mukayi hira sosai dan da kyar mukayi bacci da daddare tana ta dora mana darasi. 

"Allah dai ya taimake ku ya dora ku akan Abba ya barku kuyi karatun nan na zamani kuma, dan wallahi yawancin mazan nan masu alkawarin zasu bar matan su suyi karatu karya suke yi" sai na tuno da maganar mu da Musa, ta cigaba "kuma bara in baku shawara, in kun tashi zaben miji ku zabi mai dan maiko maiko, dan shegu duk halinsu daya, amma da kiyi kuka a gaban murhun itace gwara kiyi a gaban gas cooker ko?" Duk muka yi dariya ta bata rai tace "am serious fa, ku daina dariya, duk ba kirki ne dasu ba, wani talakan ma yafi mai kudin iya shege dan idan talaucin sa ya dame shi sai ya dawo kan matar ya huce. Dan haka duk ranar da Abba ya kirawo ku yace ku fito da miji to ku duba a cikin samarin ku ku ga wanda yafi maiko sai ku zabe shi, musamman ke Jidda, dan wallahi fuskarki da jikin ki ba irin na matan talakawa bane ba, na matan manya ne" ta jawo ni na zauna kusa da ita tace "kinga, akwai wani aboki ko kuma in ce ogan Abban Sudais da suke tare a Abuja, ranar nan Abban Sudais ya gaya min wai yana neman mata yana so yayi ta biyu ya tafi da ita can dan matarsa tayi girma ta tara iyali ba zai iya tafiya can da ita ba, ga kuma tafiye tafiyen da yake yi zuwa kasashen duniya duk ba zai iya yi da matar sa ba kin gane? Shine kawai naji ina yi miki sha'awar aurensa wallahi, na san yana ganin ki zai amince dan dama irin ku yake nema, kar ki wani damu da babba ne dan sai yafi ma saurayin kula da ke da tarairayar ki........." 

Ta cigaba da maganganun ta amma ni hankali na ya tafi wani gurin daban, ina duba rayuwar yayye na mata ne, irin jouney din da suka samu kansu a ciki sai na fara wondering what my own jouney will be, wanne kalubale ne ni kuma zan fuskanta a nawa gidan auren?

Mun zagaya suma mazan kamar yadda muka zagaya matan, sai dai ni duk banji wani dadin ziyarar sosai ba dan ban saba da matan su ba sai dai gidan yaya Mukhtar wanda bai jima da aure ba, amaryar sa Aunty Halima tana da kirki sosai kuma munyi dace halin mu na karatun hausa novels yazo daya, muka yi ta hirar littattafai da kuma marubuta wadanda muka sani, sai dai kuma yanzu ita ta daina karanta published novels ta dawo karanta online ones, ni kuma tunda ba waya ce dani ba ban ma san ana rubutu online din ba. 

"Kuma Aunty Halima suma kamar bugaggu ne?" Tace "sosai ma, akwai online writers da suka iya labari sosai wadanda in kika fara karanta books din su ba zaki daina ba ko da kuwa sun mayar da su na siyarwa" na bata fuska nace "na siyarwa kuma Aunty Halima? Ta yaya za'a siyar da littafi online?" Ta fara yi min bayanin WhatsApp groups da Okada books da Wattpad amma ni tunda duk ba sanin su nayi ba ban wani gane sosai ba. Nace "kuma nawa kuke siya?" Tace "wani 300 wani kuma 200, most dai haka kudin yake" Farhan tace "amma yayi tsada, ji nake bugaggen ma haka ake siyar dashi, wannan kuma na waya in wayar ta bata fa shikenan ka rasa shi" Aunty Halima tace "bai yi tsada ba, ni yayi arha ma a ganina sosai saboda yawanci littafi daya suke yi babu zancen part one two three kamar yadda bigaggun littattafai suke, wasu ma har part four zaki ga, kuma ki sayi kowanne dari uku, kusan dubu daya da wani abun kenan a labari daya. Sannan kuma maganar bata ni ina siya nake kai shi e-mail dina in ajiye a can, yadda ko waya nawa na chanja yana nan a ajjiye babu inda za shi"

Na fahimci wannan bayanin duk da dai ban gane  zancen e-mail din ba. Sai dai kawai nace "duk ranar da nayi waya zan zo ki koya min duk wadannan abubuwan sannan ki tura min duk books din inyi ta karantawa" tace "Allah ya kaimu kanwata" muna cikin hirar yaya Mukhtar ya shigo, sai take yi masa korafin ya kamata a ce an siya mana waya "yanxu ace yammata babu waya?  Ta yaya zasu yi samari?" Ya bude baki "waya? Rufa min asiri, ai wadannan yammatan haka zaki gansu kuma haka zaki kyale su, duk wanda ya sake ya siya musu waya to rigima shi da Abba har koton koli" muka yi dariya baki daya, sai ya zauna a tare damu muka cigaba da hirar Abba da irin dokokin sa. 

Daga nan munje gidan gwoggo Habiba, dukkan ƴaƴan ta sun yi aure kuma suna kula da ita sosai dan kusan babu abinda ta nema ta rasa, daga ita a gidan sai mijinta da yar autarta, Jamila. 

Jamila kyakykyawar budurwa ce yar gayu mai ji da yammatanci, a lokacin tana shekarar ta ta karshe a jami'ar Bayero, tunda muka je gidan muke ta kallon ta cike da sha'awa ni da Farhan, komai na yaya Jamila burge mu yake yi, yadda take kwalliya da dressing, yadda take magana ana yi ana jefa turanci a ciki da tafiya kamar ana tausayin kasa, a ranmu sai muke ji ina ma dai mune muka samu wayewa irin tata. Sai dai kuma a cikin kwana biyun da mukayi a gidan su muka lura da irin tsananin soyayyar da yake tsakanin yaya Jamila da wayarta. Ko da yaushe tana hannunta tana daddanna wa tana murmushi, ko ita da waye oho. Cikin dare kuwa har mu farka fitsari tana cike da waya a kunne tana hira kasa kasa yadda mu da muke daki daya gado daya bama fahimtar abinda take cewa. Bamu tashi tabbatar da zargin mu a kanta ba sai da muka ga  ta chanchada kwalliya ta gayawa gwoggo cewa zasu fita unguwa da wani friend dinta, irin yadda tayi maganar kamar mai sanarwa ba wai neman izni ba sannan ta fice ba tare da ta jira amsa ba, har sai da muka yi bacci sannan ta dawo ta kwanta tare da cigaba da magana a cikin wayarta tana dariya kasa kasa. "Yes, I really enjoyed myself" ta fada a hankali. Sai muka kalli juna ni da Farhan sannan muka gyada wa juna kai alamar duk irin tunani daya muke yi. Sai na kwanta ina tunani a raina "shin irin wannan wayewar da irin wannan rayuwar Abba yake gudar mana shi yasa yake takura mu? In haka ne shima yana da tasa gaskiyar kenan.

Gidan Aunty Afia  (Mami) shine gida na karshe da muka je. Tun a hanya nake ta zumudin ganinta, ina balain son ta har cikin raina ita da yayanta, Aira da Aarif. Aira kusan sa'a ta ce, Aarif kuma da kadan ya girmi Amira. Ni a idona gani nake kamar Mami da yaran ta sunfi kowa kyau a duniya amma sai inji mutane suna cewa wai kamar mu daya da Aira wai kamar an tsaga kara ni kuma dariya nake yi in aka fadi haka.

Tun daga gate mai gadi ya karbi kayan mu yana mana sannu da zuwa, ya sanni kuma yasan dangantaka ta da gidan. Mijin Aunty mai kudi ne, gidan su kato mai cike da duk abinda suke bukata. Muna shiga na tafi da gudu jikinta na rungume ta ina jin hawaye yana taruwa a idona, ta rungume ni ta na shafa bayana tana dariya, sai kuma ta dago fuskata tana kalla tace "sai yau babanki ya ga damar barin ki ki zo ki ganni ko? Kema so yake ya mayar dake kamar Ayesha ko? So yake ki zama daddawar cikin daki ko? To Allah ya fishi" nayi dariya ina goge hawaye na, "kai Aunty Abba ne fa" tace "Abban ki ne ai ba nawa ba. Tun da ya raba yaruwata da kowa nata sai shi kadai ai nima ba zan raga masa ko inji nauyin sa ba. Wannan ne yasa baya son kuke zuwa gurina" na yi kokarin kawar da maganar ta hanyar fara neman yanuwana. "Aira! Arif!" Tayi dariya suna islamiyya, zasu dawo ai su same ku" sai a lokacin Farhan ta samu ta gaishe ta, ta amsa mata babu yabo babu fallasa sannan ta kira masu aiki ta bada umarnin suyi entertaining din mu. Muna cin abinci su Aira suka dawo nan take muka cika gidan da hayaniya da murnar ganin juna.

Kwana dayan da mukayi a gidan sai naji kamar second daya ne, nan da nan wai har dare yayi kuma har gari ya waye. Duk da cewa ba wani baccin kirki mukayi ba dan kusan raba dare mukayi da Aunty tana bani labarin yanuwanmu da yadda take so watarana Abba ya bar mu muje mu gansu. "insecurity ne yake damun babanku, shi kansa yasan Aysha ba sa'ar auren sa bace ba amma ta dage lallai sai shi, to tsoro yake yi kuma kar takoma cikin dangin tata guje shi, kuma kuma yana tsoron kar kuje can idon ku ya bude ku fi karfinsa, wannan shine matsalar sa. Amma kinga yanzu in kika yi aure ai kin tashi daga ikonsa kin koma ikon mijinki kuma zaki ke zumunci damu yadda kike so insha Allah. Wai in tambaye ki mana, akwai wani ne yanzu da yake zuwa gurinki?" 

Nayi shiru ina tunani, Musa dai bana son sa kuma bana jin ya kamata in gayawa Aunty labarin sa, Umar kuma ban ma san menene matsaya a tsakanin mu ba. Na girgiza kai "babu kowa Aunty" ta gyada kai "to Allah ya kawo nagari. Ni in a so nane ma nafi son kiyi aure a dangin mu dan mu karfafa zumuncin mu, amma babu wanda yasan ki a can ballantana ya ce yana son ki"

A ranar da muka dawo gida, bayan mun gama murna da gaishe gaishe sai na ja Amira gefe "ke! Sanda ba ma nan babu wanda yazo nemana?" Tace "a cikin gida ko a waje?" na sosa kai "a ko'ina ma" tayi dariya "wai Musa? Zuwansa biyu fa, ana biyun Umma tace inje in gaya masa ranar da zaku dawo dan kar yayi ta zarya" naji raina ya fara baci duk da babu abinda Musa yayi na bacin rai. 

"Bayan shi babu wanda ya zo?" Ta girgiza kanta. "Babu kuma wanda ya kira Umma yana nemana?" Ta kuma girgiza kai "ni dai bansan kowa ba, sai dai in Umma zaki tambaya ko an kira sanda bana nan" nayi saurin cewa "a'a, shikenan" sai kuma na wayance dan bana son tayi ta yi min tambayoyi "kinsan number dinta na bawa kawayena a makaranta, to ina tunanin ko wasu daga ciki sun kira ta ne." 

Amma duk da wannan interview din da nayi wa Amira ban hakura ba sai da nayi ta duba call history din Umma wai ko ya kira bata dauka ba kuma bata bi ba, sai dai babu wadansu missed calls daga unknown number, kuma babu daga number din Mufida. Na ajiye wayar tare da yin ajjiyar zuciya. "Ya fasa" na fada wa kai na, "dama karya yake yi" na maimaita. Sai dai kuma zuciya ta taki amincewa da wannan musamman idan na tuna da abinda na gani a idonsa, it looked so real.

Da dare ina tsakar gida Umma ta kira ni ta gaya min cewa Mufida ta kira ni yanzu, da sauri na karbi wayar "Allah sarki Mufida, bara in kira ta mu gaisa" sai dai a wani bangare na raina ina fatan ba Mufidan bace ba. Ina kira kuwa ta dauka, muka yi ta hira tana bani labarin hutun da suke yi a Lagos gabakidayan su, amma ko a cikin magana bata ambaci ko da sunan yaya Doctor ba nima kuma ban tambayeta ba.

Sai dai washegari da yamma ina wanke wanke sai ga dan aike. "Wai ana sallama da Jidda" naji raina ya baci, naki bashi amsa ma saboda takaici sai da Umma ta leko tace "kaje kace tana zuwa" ta kalle ni "baki ji ana magana bane ba? Yaron nan zuwansa biyu ba kya nan kuma ni nace masa ya dawo yau kafin nan kin dawo" na mike bance komai ba na wanke hannu na ina lissafin abinda zanyi masa idan na fita. Hade rai zanyi yayi hirar sa shi kadai, haka zan ke masa a haka har ya hakura ya rabu dani. 

Na wanke hannuna da fuskata sannan naje daki na dauko hijab dina na fito, Umma ta bini da kallo sannan tace "ki koma ki shafa mai a kafarki duk tayi jirwaye, sannan kuma ki saka powder a fuskar ki da dan man lebe" na juya still ba tare da na ce komai ba na koma nayi abinda tace ba dan raina yaso ba, na tsaya ina kallon fuska ta a madubi ina hango kamar da ake cewa muna yi da Layla. Nayi ta gwada fuskokin bacin rai iri iri ina lura da yadda suke chanja min kamanni, so nake in samu wadda zata saka inyi muni dan in naje inyi masa yaga muni na yace ya fasa.

Ina tsaye naji kiran Umma, na fita da sauri ina lura da kallon da take min tana noticing ko nayi abinda tace, ina shiga sitting room na goge lipstick din dana shafa har da tabbatar wa cewa ya bata gefen baki na dan inyi muni. Na dan gyara sitting room din na kunna fitila da fanka sannan na bude kofar waje na fita da niyyar kiran Musa.

Sai dai me?.....

Na gane motar sa kamar yadda na gane tsayuwar sa, ya juya bayan sa yana  daddanna wayar sa. Gaba na ya fadi "Umar" zuciya ta ta kira sunansa.  Kamar tashi zuciyar taji kiran da tawa tayi masa sai ya juyo da sauri ya saka idonsa a cikin nawa. For a brief second babu wanda yayi magana a cikin mu, but I can feel my heart talking to his sai-dai bana jin amsar da tashin take bayarwa. "You!" Na fada a hankali. "You are here" ya juyo sosai tare da saka wayar hannun sa a aljihunsa ba tare da ya dauke idonsa daga cikin nawa ba. Sannan ya rungume hannunsa a kirjinsa yana sakar min lallausan murmushin sa. "Ni din nan da kike gani, murucin kan dutse ne ni ban fito ba sai dana shirya" na dan bata rai cikin rashin fahimtar maganar sa. "Muruci kuma? Wanne irin shiri? Ban gane ba?" Ya taho zuwa gabana ya tsaya, towering over me yadda sai da na daga kaina sannan na ke kallon fuskar sa, fuskar da bana so in daina kalla kamar yadda shima yake rarraba idanuwan sa akan tawa fuskar kamar mai son haddace suffar duk abinda yake cikin ta. 

Nayi saurin sunkuyar da kaina dan tunawa da nayi da abinda nayi a fuskar tawa, na wayance da yin tari sannan na rufe bakina da gefen hijab dina ina kokarin goge lipstick din da nayi messing a gurin. 

Nayi taku biyu baya tare da nuna masa kofar sitting room din. "Bismillah" nace "sannu da zuwa" na sake fada tare da yin gaba da sauri. Zuciya ta tana tsalle a kirjina.

A tsakiyar falon na tsaya har ya shigo na dan nuna masa kujera a farkon falon sannan na zauna a kujerar karshe "ina wuni" na gaishe shi kaina a kasa, bai amsa ba yace "ya ilahi yarinyar nan kin wahalar da ni. Kinsan kuwa ta yadda nayi nazo gidan nan?" Nace "driving kayi daga gadon kaya zuwa gandu. Babu nisa ai sosai" ya bude baki "wato kin san ma gidan mu kenan. Ya ilahi! Duk wannan wahalar da nasha ashe ke kinsan gidan mu? Yarinyar can karya take yi min kenan" nayi shiru ina lissafi, ni ban fahimci abinda yake so yace ba, nace "wacce wahala kake magana akai?" Ya gyara zama yace "kin san kuwa ta yadda akayi na samu address dinki? Wai ku dama mata haka kuke friendship dinku? Ace babbar kawar ki bata da number din ki kuma bata san gidan ku ba?" Nayi shiru ina accessing maganar, ya cigaba "ashe wai Mufida bata da contact dinki, idan da ace nasan hakan da bazan taba barinki ki fita daga mota ta a ranar nan ba, a cikin kwanakin nan sau uku ina komawa taura makarantar ku wai ko zasu gaya min address dinki amma suka ki gaya min, har bribe na bawa principal dinku ta karbe kuma taki gaya min, sai shekaran jiya suka bani address din wani tsohon malamin ku Malam Abdulrashid, to jiya naje wajensa shima ya gama jirgani ya kuma gama yi min dogayen tambayoyinsu irin na tsofaffin malamai sannan ya bani address din" 

Tun da ya fara maganar nake murmushi, ina jin dadin yadda yayi going through wannan dan ya zo gurina sannan kuma ina kara tabbatar wa kaina cewa zargin da Mufida take yi masa ba gaskiya bane ba. Ya lura da murmushin fuskata yace "dariya ma kike yi min ko?" Na girgiza kaina da sauri ina kara fadada murmushi na. Yace "babu komai. Ko yanzu na fanshe duk wahalar da nasha, wannan murmushin kadai ya biya ni duk abinda nayi har da kari. And I can do it all over again for it, for the smile" 

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*Episode Six : The Sweetest Thing*

Na dan boye fuskata kadan a jikin kujera, yayi murmushi mai sauti sannan ya taso ya kuma dawowa kujerar kusa da tawa yace "amma gayamin, dan Allah wai Mufida bata san gidan nan ba? Kuma wai da gaske bata da number din da za'a same ki? Ni fa jikina yana bani wasa tayi min da hankali. Tana sane ta wahalar dani a banza" 

Na dan juyo ina kallon sa ina tunanin ta yadda zan kare kawata. Wata idea ta zo min sai na sunkuyar da kaina nace "jiya ma munyi waya da ita. Suna can Lagos ko?" ya hada yatsunsa suka yi kara yace "I knew it. Yarinyar can ta shiga uku a hannu na, sai na yayyanka naman ta na cinye duk sanda na kama ta. Nace "kawar tawa? Besides, shi abu mai daraja ai dama sai an sha wahala ake samun sa ko? Duk abinda aka samu cikin sauki to anfi saurin wulakanta shi" 

Ya rufe fuskarsa da hannu daya yana dariya a cikin kirjinsa sannan ya bude idonsa yana kallo na, ni kuma na rufe tawa fuskar sai yace "na gane, sai yanzu na gane komai. Issoryt. Wato kun hada kai ne dan ku ja min aji ko? Duk abinda nake ciki ashe kina sane ko? I like it, ina fatan dai naci test din?" Nace "ai ba test bane ba, screening ne dan muga how far you can go. Kayi passing first phase saura phase na biyu" 

Na mike tsaye, shima ya mike da sauri "dan Allah, kar kice gida zaki koma. Ki barni na cigaba da ganin ki" nace "ganin kama da nayi yanzu a matsayin mai laifi nake. Ba'a gani na sai an samu izni daga Abba na. Ka neme shi, ka ganshi, kayi masa bayanin dalilin da yasa kake son ganin yarsa sannan in ya amince maka sai ka dawo' na juya zan shiga gida naji ya kira sunana "Jidda" na tsaya amma ban juyo ba, naji ya tako xuwa bayana ta tsaya sannan yace "zan je inga Abban mu, sannan zanyi iyakacin kokari na dan in samu karbuwa a gurinsa sannan zan dawo in sake ganin murmushin ki da license dina a hannu na" 

Sai da na kai bakin kofa sannan na juyo, muka hada ido yayi min murmushi na mayar masa sannan na shige cikin gida.

Daren ranar is one of my happiest. Dan har sai da Farhan ta gaji da jin hirar Umar ta rufe kunnuwan ta da pillow. Duk da haka kuma ban fasa bata labarin sa ba har sai dana tabbatar tayi bacci sannan na kwanta nima na rufe ido na, fuskarsa ta bayyana gare ni, nayi murmushi, tabbas nasan yau dole ne ma ya shigo cikin mafarki na.

Two days after that, da yamma muna tsakar gida muna cin abinci tare da Farhan da Amira sai Hajiya ta leko daga barandar Abba ta kira ni, na amsa tace in zo inji Abba. Gaba na ya fadi na juya ina kallon Farhan, itama ni take kallo tace "me kika yi?" Na bude hannu "nima ban sani ba" Amira tace "an kira ki a court dole kinyi wani abu da sanin ki ko ba da sanin ki ba ko kuma wani yayi wani abu a gabanki zaki bayar da shaida" na hadiye abincin bakina mukut cikin tsoro sannan na wanke hannu na na hau saman ina karanto duk adduoin da suke cikin kaina, na tarar dashi yana cin abinci, Hajiya tana gefen sa tana yi masa fifita.

Na zauna nesa dasu kadan nace "Abba gani" sai da ya jima yana kallona, jin Hajiya bata ce komai ba na san cewa bata san dalilin kiran ba dan da ta sani da tuni ta fara fada tun kafin Abba ya fara, sai daya gama kallona sannan yace "waye Umar?" na dago kai da sauri, jikina ya fara rawa kamar marar gaskiya nace "na'am?" Ya maimaita "waye Umar nace, wanda kika tura office dina" na sunkuyar da kai na fara wasa da band din hannuna ina murmushi cikin jin kunyar su, this is serious, wato har yaje kenan, lallai da gaske yake kuma wannan ya kuma samar masa space mai kyau a zuciyata.

Jin nayi shiru ya saka Hajiya tace "saurayin ta ne ko?" Yace "eh haka yace min, amma so nake in san a inda suka hadu dashi, yace min a gadon kaya gidan su yake, ita kuma bata da kowa a can, a ina ya ganta?" Hajiya tace "zai wuce a waya?" Ya ajiye chokalin hannunsa yace "waya? Yaushe Jidda tayi waya ban sani ba, waye ya siya mata?" Tace "a'a ba waya ce da ita ba, amma ai suna ɗaukar wayoyin mu suna amfani dasu, zata iya yiyuwa wayar Umman ta ta dauka tayi wannan chatting din nasu na zamani anan suka hadu, kasan yaran yanzu sai addu'a" 

Na bude ido ina mamakin yadda za'a yi min sharri ina zaune da raina, nace "a'a Abba ba haka bane ba, yayan Mufida ne fa, yayan kawata ne" ya mayar da hankalinsa kaina yace "yayan kawarki? Yaushe kika je gidan su kawar taki har ya ganki? Ni dai ban san lokacin da kika tambaye ni cewa zaki je gidan su kawarki ba" na sunkuyar da kai na, "a makaranta ne, ranar da muka gama makaranta yaje daukan ta ni kuma na raka ta mota, shine .......shine......kuma sai yazo nan shekaran jiya sai nace yaje  ya same ka" 

Ya gyada kai yace "haka ya gaya min. Inaso ne in tabbatar. Malamin ku ne Abdulrashid ya raka shi gurina kuma naga kamar da gaske yake, ba yaro bane ba dan cikakken likita ne ma a yanzu, na kuma ya ba da hankalin sa da kuma asalin sa, nace ya cigaba da zuwa gurin ki, in Allah ya hada kan ku kuma kin zabe shi shikenan. Tashi ki je" 

Na mike da sauri a raina ina tunanin godiya ya kamata inji masa ko kuma godiyar zata zama kamar rashin kunya? Ban dai gode ba na fita baki har kunne cikin farin cikin da yasa ban damu da maganar da naji Hajiya tana yi ba "likita? Anya kuwa likita bai yi mata girma ba?" Abba yace "a ina kika taba ganin namiji yayi wa mace girma?" 

Ban ji sauran maganar ba na sauka da sauri, nasan halin Abba in dai yace abu to ba Hajiya ba ko wacece ba zata chanja shi ba. Ganin fuskata yasa Farhan ta fara murna ita ma duk da bata san abinda ya saka ni murna ba muka rungume juna muna dariya sannan tace "what are we celebrating?" Nace "Umar yaje gurin Abba kuma Abba ya amince" ta kama kumatu na "inye, mun samu lisence sai soyewa kenan" na kama nata kumatun "harda soye soye ma kuwa" 

Umma data fito daga dakinta ta bimu da kallo "me za'a soya?" Amira da take jin mu tace "wai wani Umar ne zasu soya shi" muka kwashe da dariya sannan na shige dakinmu da gudu ina jin Farhan tana yiwa Umma bayanin saurayi na ne Umar din "yayan Mufida ne" banji amsar da Umma ta bayar ba saboda na toshe kunnena ina murmushi mai hade da dariya.

A ranar, bai jira sai washegari ba a ranar yazo da dare. Umma tana daure tuwo a leda a tsakar gida ni kuma ina karasa mata miya a cikin kitchen a ka shigo ana sallama dani. Yaron yace "wai ana kiran Jidda inji Umar" nayi kamar banji ba amma na kasa faking murmushin daya sauka akan fuskata. Umma tace "tana zuwa" 

Sai kuma ta kira Abbah da ya shiga dakin ta yana kallo tace "kaje waje akwai bako a waje ka gyara sitting room kace masa ya shiga" yace "waye yazo Umma?" Bata ce komai ba sai ta kalle ni, yace "au ho Musa ne ashe, mun hadu jiya ai yana ta jin kunya ta" na juyo na harare shi a raina ina cewa "ba Musa ba sai dai kakan Musa" yayi dariyar ganin yadda na bata rai yace "Allah ya baki hakuri yar malamin makaranta matar malamin makaranta kuma kanwar malamin makaranta, kina tafiya chalk yana zuba" 

Duk muka yi dariya har Umma, na dauko ludayin miya na bishi da sauri ya bude kofar sitting room ya shiga, na koma kitchen Umma tace "miko kananan flask a zuba masa tuwo" na mika mata, Amira da take kwance akan sallaya tana game da wayar Umma tace "Umma ni zan kai masa, sai in ganshi in ga ko ya dace da yayata" 

Aka zuba masa tuwon semo miyar zogale ta fita zata kai masa ni kuma na fito na wanke jikina a bakin pampo na shiga dakin mu na cire doguwar rigar jikina na saka riga da skirt din atampa nayi daurin dankwali na mai kyau na shafa powder na saka kwalli sannan na saka turare kadan yadda ba zai yi yawa ba na kuma yafa mayafi na na fito, ina fitowa Umma ta harare ni, sum sum na koma na cire mayafin na saka hijab na sake fitowa.

A lokacin Amira ta dawo daga kai abinci bakin ta har kunne "Umma baki ganshi ba wallahi ya hadu sosai. Yace min nima ina da kyau kamar Jidda amma ita tafi ni kyau wai. Ya tambaye ni mu wane yare ne na gaya masa" Umma ta kai mata duka, "to mai bakin aku, waye ya tambaye ki" ta matsa gefe tana dariya sannan ta fito da kudi daga cikin hijab dinta yan dari dari sababbi bansan ko guda nawa bane ba, a daidai lokacin da Farhan ta fito daga dakin Hajiya, ganin kudin ya sa tayi kan Amira da gudu suka shiga dakin Umma, nayi musu dariya kawai na tafi sitting room.

Ina shiga na mayar da kofar shiga cikin gida na rufe, a raina ina fatan bai ji maganar da Amira tayi yanzu a ciki ba, na juyo a kalleshi. Yana zaune akan kujerar da take bakin kofar fita waje, kananan kaya ne yau a jikin sa rigar mai gajeren hannu wadda ta fito da damatsen sa tare da bayyana siffarsa ta cikakken namiji, kansa babu hula sai gyararren gashin kansa. 

Ya mike tsaye yana kallona kamar yadda nima nake kallon sa. Na zauna a kujerar karshe nace "sannu da zuwa Yaya Doctor" yayi murmushi bai amsa ba sannan ya taho zuwa inda nake kamar yadda yayi ranar nan amma maimakon ya zauna a kan kujerar kusa dani kamar yadda yayi ranar nan sai ya zauna a gabana a kasa kusa da kafafuwa na yana kallona. 

"Gani na dawo Jidda. Naje na karbo license din ganin ki a gurin Abba kuma ya amince min. Saura kuma menene kike bukata? Say it, whatever it is, and it will be done" 

Na girgiza kai na a hankali nace "nothing, for now" yace "sai nan gaba? Har yanzu ba'a gama yi min jarabawar ba?" Nace "ba fa exam bace ba..." Yace "it felt like exam, sanda ina gaban Abba I felt like ina cikin exam hall ne banbanci kawai shine babu question paper babu kuma answer sheet" ya danyi dariya "kamar oral exams, nine student Abba shine supervisor" nace "tunda kace kana son ƴar malamin makaranta dole yayi maka exam" yace "da gaske? Sake fada inji?" Nace "me?" Yace "ina sonki" ba tare da tunanin komai ba nace "kana so na" ya lumshe ido ya bude yace "ke kuma me kika ce?" 

Sai na fahimci trap yake neman hada min, na rufe ido na cikin kunya na kasa magana, yace "ki fada mana, ina son ki Jidda, ke kuma fa?" Na girgiza kai na, yace "ba zaki fada ba?" Na gyada kai, yace "saboda me?" A hankali nace "kunya nake ji" yayi dariya "in baki shawara? Tunda kunya kike ji ki toshe kunnen ki zaki daina ji" na bude idon ina kallon sa cikin rashin fahimta nace "kunne kuma?" Yace "eh, ba 'jin' kunya kike ba? Ai da kunne ake ji ko? Ki toshe kunnen sai ki daina ji" nayi murmushi "ba wani nan, ba haka bane ba" yace "baki yarda ba? Ki gwada ki gani. Ki toshe kunnen sai ki fada shikenan ni kadai zanji abina"

Na makale wuya, "wayo zaka yi min, naki wayon" yayi dariya "to ki fada min dan Allah" nace "ba yau ba" yace "sai yaushe?" Na juya idona Nace "sai nayi shawara" yayi ajjiyar zuciya yace "duk jan ajin ne haka? Naji na dauka, duk sanda kika zama ready my ears my heart and my every other thing will be ready"

Nayi shiru ban ce komai ba, shima yayi shiru amma ina jin idonsa a kaina sai dai ni na kasa dago kai duk da zuciya ta tana son hakan. Zuwa can naji yace "kafarki tana da kyau Jidda" nayi sauri na kalli kafar da take a ajjiye a gabansa, tsirarar ta babu ko safa balle takalmi, nayi saurin dauke ta na mayar kan kujerar da nake zaune tare da lullube ta da hijab din jiki na. 

Yayi dariya "gabaki dayan ki kina da kyau, komai naki mai kyau ne kuma ina son komai naki sosai, yadda kike magana, yadda kike tafiya, yadda kike murmushi da yadda kika yi wannan zaman komai burgeni yake yi, komai yayi min yadda nake so. Ina son ki sosai Jidda, ina jinki a zuciyata irin yadda ban taba jin kowacce mace ba, saboda ban taba ganin irin ki ba and I have seen a lot, have been in a couple of relatonships even, amma tun daga lokacin dana dora idona akanki nasan cewa this is it, kamar irin feeling din da mutum yake ji a lokacin da yazo gida bayan yayi doguwar tafiya"

"A dan lokacin dana sanki Jidda sai nake jin ki a raina kamar ba yanzu ne na sanki ba, kamar dama can muna tare, kamar you have been there with me every step of my life kawai dai bana ganin ki ne, kamar ke ce other side of me din da nake missing, sai yanzu dana ganki sannan na zama complete"

"Auren ki nake so inyi Jidda, that's idan kin amince kuma idan su Abba da Umma sun yarje min. Tun ganin ki na farko na yanke hakan a zuciyata duk da ban san halayyar ki ba a lokacin, kuma a ganin da nayi miki guda uku bayan nan na fara fahimtar wasu daga cikin halayyar ki kuma suma duk sunyi min. Amma na sani cewa ke yarinya ce, yanzu kika gama secondary school kuma bansan lissafin ki da burinki ba. Dan haka dole zan baki lokaci iyakacin yadda kike so ki shirya ki kuma zama ready"

"Daga gobe zuwa nan da shekaru biyar, ni zan jira, duk sanda kike so" na dago ina kallon sa nace "har shekara biyar zaka jira?" Ya dan shafa sumar kansa yace "zan so kar ya kai haka, zanso with all my heart amma sai abinda kike ce, ban sani ba ko kina son ki cigaba da karatu ne kafin aure ko kuma kina so sai kin gama karatun ma gabaki daya kafin kiyi auren ko Abba yana so sai kin fi haka girma da wayo kafin yayi miki aure ban san tsarin ba shi yasa nace shekara biyar din, maximum" 

Nayi murmushin jin dadi, yadda yake saka damuwata a cikin lissafin sa yana burge ni sosai "ina son yin karatu gaskiya, ko ban kammala ba ina son zan fara" "angama" yace, "inyi lissafin shekara biyu kenan, kamar level two kenan ko?" Nayi murmushi bance komai ba. Yace "kinyi jamb ne?" Na girgiza kai na, na tuno lokacin da aka yi jamb iyaye suka yi ta zuwa daukan yayansu daga makaranta suna kaisu gida suyi kwana biyu suyi jamb, a ciki har da Mufida, ni kuwa dama ko saka rai banyi ba kuma ko mai kama da Abba ban gani ba.

Ya shafa fuska, "ya salam, sai wata shekarar kenan. Amma wanne course kike so ki karanta" na danyi tunani "ni ban san me zan karanta ba" ya bude baki cikin mamaki "kin gama secondary school baki san me zakiyi a jami'a ba?" Na danji kunyar abin sai nace "uhmm, na dai ji ranar nan a school Abba yana maganar nursing" yace "okay, na fahimta, abinda yasa bai dauko ki kinyi jamb din ba kenan. Amma Allah yasa shi ma bamu makara ba, dan form dinsu da wuri yake karewa"

Ban ce komai ba sai ya dauko wayarsa yayi dialing ya saka a kunne "kai ya? Ya garin? Kana can kana jin dadin ka ko?" Yayi dariya, dariyar sa tana kara masa kyau kuma tana yi min kyau sosai, ya cigaba "ka shiga daga ciki ka bar ni da shafa kai. Ya maganar daliban ku ne? Form nake so dan Allah. Kai haba? Gaskiya pull some strings ka samo min. Guda daya kawai nake so but it is very important, kayi min wannan kokarin and I will forever be grateful. Okay. Thanks. Bye bye"

Ya ajiye wayar yace "har anyi an gama, next zuwa zan taho miki da form din school of nursing, sai ki kaiwa abba mu ji abinda zai ce akai"

Naji wani irin dadi a raina, dadin da ba zan iya misalta shi ba irin wanda ban taba jin irinsa ba, kuma wannan abin da Umar yayi min zan iya cewa yana daya daga cikin abubuwan da ba zan taba manta wa dashi ba, daya daga cikin abinda har abada zan zama forever grateful for.

Na fara kokarin yi masa godiya sai ya dakatar dani, shi a ganinsa it was nothing, ni kuma a gurina it was everything.
A kokarin sa na ganin banyi masa godiya ba sai ya fara dauko min labarin brief tarihin sa.

"Sunana Umar Muhammad Gidado Fata, kamar yadda nasan kin sani. Asalina bafulatani ne ta bangaren uwa da uba gabaki daya, mahaifina dan kasuwa ne da yake safarar fatu daga Nigeria zuwa kasashen ketare, mu bakwai ne a gidan mu, Yaya Mubaraka sai ni, sai Muhibbat, sai Muhsina, sai Mufida sannan twins din aunty Aarif da Arfat. An haife ni a garin Lagos, a can kuma muka yi karatu ni da Yaya Mubaraka tun daga primary har secondary, amma farkon shigar mu secondary school ne family suka dawo kano saboda lokacin kannena mata sun fara girma kuma iyayen mu suna tsoron yi musu tarbiyya a can, sai suka taho dasu nan ni kuma aka barni a can tare da Baba, su kuma matan gidan sai suke shifting na wata ɗai ɗai a tsakanin su"

Na fahimci bayanin sa sosai, amma sai na samu kaina da tambayar kaina "shin akwai banbanci a tsakanin tarbiyyar yaya maza da kuma mata? Shin duk abinda yake ba dai dai ba a gurin mace yana chanja suna in ya koma gurin namiji? Me yasa iyayen mu suke ware tarbiyyar maza da ta mata? Me yasa ake takurawa mata da tsoron kar su lalace amma kuma sai a sakarwa maza? Me yasa?

A cikin tunani na naji yana cewa "bayan na gama secondary ne nima na dawo Kano, anan buk nayi mbbs sannan naje India inda nayi specialising a bangaren gynecology. A yanzu shekara ta daya da dawowa kuma ina aiki a AKTH, ina kuma zuwa asibitin Murtala sometimes, sannan akwai wani private clinic na friend dina da nake zuwa shima, mostly weekends. I am twenty eight years old, and very ready for marriage but sai matata ta shirya tukunna"

Briefly nima na dan bashi nawa labarin da kuma siblings dina, sannan nayi masa tayin abincin da ya riga ni zuwa gurin "baka ci abinci ba fa, Umma ce da kanta ta zuba maka tace a kawo maka" ya juya yana kallon tray din yace "dole in ci abinci kuwa ko dan in samu albarkar Umma ta" nayi murmushi ina jin dadin yadda komai nawa yake mayar dashi nasa. "Ki zo ki zuba min mana to.....ko baki san haka mata take yiwa mijinta ba?" Na danji kunya amma na sauko na dauko tray din na dawo dashi kusa dashi sannan na zuba masa tuwon leda daya na zuba masa miya a gefe na tabbatar na zuba masa nama a cikin miyar sannan na ajiye masa a gabansa tare da plate din da aka sako pure water guda uku. 

Ya dauki chokalin ya fara chi, loma daya sai ya dago yana kallona "wannan miyar tayi dadi da yawa, ban sani ba kuma ko hakan yana da alaka da hannun daya zuba min?" 

Kafin na bashi amsa aka bude kofar aka shigo, yaya Tahir, ya kalle ni sannan ya kalli Umar wanda ya cigaba da cin abincin sa hankali kwance. "Sannu da zuwa yayana" na fada ina jin kunyar sa, yace "yauwa jiddo, sai kuma ya mayar da hankalinsa kan Umar, na kalli Umar nace "ga yaya Tahir nan" sai ya ajiye cokalin hannunsa ya mike tsaye ya mika wa Tahir hannu "sannu da zuwa yayana" ya fada yana kwaikwayon yadda nake magana ta. 

Duk suka yi dariya sai kuma suka gaisa, abin mamaki yaya Tahir din da ba mai yawan magana ba sai gashi har da zama suna hirar ball saboda shirt din jikin yaya Tahir akwai hoton dan ball a jiki, ni bam ma san ko waye ba amma dai na fahimci hoton nasa ne ya kawo hirar, suna hirar har Umar ya cinye tuwon sa sannan Tahir ya shiga gida, nayi masa tayin in kara masa sai yace dama rowa ce ta saka na zuba masa guda daya kawai "duk girman nan nawa ace malmala daya kawai za'a bani?" 

Naji kunya, "to ai bansan zaka ci ba. Yanzu na sani, in ka dawo guda uku zan saka maka" ya mike yana  cewa "to yaushe zan dawo?" Na daga kafada "ko yaushe ma, ni ina gida babu inda nake zuwa" yace "okay gobe in na fita office zan karbo miki form din ki. In an samu goben to a goben zan kawo miki da yamma saboda da daddare ina da wani aiki da zanyi asibiti, in kuma ba'a samu gobe ba sai jibi zan dawo" na gyada kai amma ina jin kamar jibi tayi min nisa, dan a yanzu ma bana son tafiyar da zaiyi dan dai ba zan iya ce masa ya zauna bane ba.

Tare muka fita na raka shi har gaban motarsa, cikin tsokana yace "ko in sace ki ne mu tafi gida na? Kinga babu kowa a layin nan babu wanda yake ganin mu" sai na ja da baya duk da nasan wasa yake ina murmushi, yayi dariya, "wata rana anan za'a zo da motoci a daukar min ke zuwa gidana" sai na juya da sauri na koma ciki, amma sai na kasa shiga na labe a corridor ina leken sa sai da ya shiga mota ya bar layin sannan na shiga ciki.


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*Episode Seven: The Ladies' Doctor*

Kamar yadda yayi alƙawari haka ya dawo washegari da yamma ya kawo min form din, sai dai cikin sauri yazo ina karba ya juya ko godiya bai tsaya nayi masa ba. Na shiga gida da takardar a hannuna jikina a sanyaye dan bansan abinda zai biyo baya ba. A cikin daki na samu Umma tana sorting kayan da aka kawo daga gidan wanki, na zauna a bakin gado tare da mika mata takardar. Fuskar ta da alamar tambaya ta karba tana dubawa tare da tambayar "takardar menene?" 

Nayi shiru ban amsa ba sai da ta karanta heading din sannan tace "wannan ai kamar form ne na school of nursing" na gyada kai "eh Umma, Umar ne muka yi magana da shi nace ina son nursing sai kawai ya siyo ya kawo min, kuma yace in cike kafin ya dawo zai karba" ta fara girgiza kanta "kinsan babanku ba zai yarda ba, babanku ba zai bari ba, me yasa kika karba?" Naji hawaye ya taho min, 

"Umma kawai na gaya mishi ina son karatu ne, kawai na gaya mishi ina son nursing ne, shine ya siyo min. Umma yanzu in ban cike ba in yazo karba me zance masa kuma?" Ta ajiye takardar tare da cigaba da jera kayan da take yi amma daga ganin fuskarta kasan a cikin tunani take, sai ta juyo tana kallo na sannan tace "idan baban ku ya dawo in an jima, in yana zaune shi kadai kije ki same shi ki kai masa takardar ki gaya masa yadda kuka yi da Umar din, sai kiji abinda zai ce, in Allah ya dora mu a kansa sai ki ga ya bari tunda naga kamar yana son Umar din, in kuma bai bari ba sai ki hakura ki gaya wa Umar din gaskiya ba'a barin ku kuyi karatu a gida sai in kunyi aure, in yaso in da gaske yake maganar auren da kuma maganar karatun sai ya bari in kinje gidan sa sai ya saka ki a can". 

Na share hawayena tare da gyada kaina, already har na fara karanto adduoin da zaku dora ni akan Abba dan ban san yadda zanyi wa Umar bayanin bama karatu sai a gidan miji ba, it will sound like ina gaya masa aure za'a yi min yayi gaggawar fitowa, ni kuma pride dina bazai barni in fadi haka ba.

Ina daki naji shigowar Abba bayan Sallar magrib, ina ji kuma Hajiya ta hau saman ta kai masa abinci, amma nasan zai sauko yaje masallacin isha itama kuma zata sauko kuma in ya koma sama zai ji labarai ita kuma zata yi kallo a kasa ba zata koma ba kuma sai goma da rabi zuwa sha daya. Wannan lokacin shine target dina. 

Sama sama naci abinci, Farhan kuma tana waje tana zance da Sulaiman, ina jin Abba ya dawo ya koma sama sannan naji ya kunna radio, na tashi na shiga daki na dauko form din na saka hijab dina na fita, na jima a tsaye ina karanto adduoi sannan na hau. Yana baranda yana kwance akan karamar katifar da ake shimfida masa anan musamman idan babu nepa, nayi sallama ya amsa sannan na durkusa daga dan nesa da shi kadan. 

Ya rage radion sa kadan sannan yace "Hauwa'u? Ya akayi?" Na fara inina "Abba dama.......uhm dama zuwa nayi.....uhm takarda ce dama.....? Ya mike zaune "ki gaya min abinda kike so ki fada, ko kuma ki tashi ki koma in kin shirya sai ki dawo. Wacce takarda kike magana akai?" Nayi sauri na mika masa Form din hannuna inajin hawaye already yana tahowa, na tsani wannan saurin kukan nawa amma hali na ne a jikin rai na yake. 

Ya karba yana haska touchlight dinsa a kai, nayi saurin cewa "Umar ne ya kawo min dazu, nima ban san zai kawo ba kawai dai nace masa naji kace kana so inyi nursing shine ya kawo min form" ya dago ya kalle ni sannan ya mayar da kansa ya na karanta takardar, jin yayi shiru kuma bai wurgo min takardar ba ya saka na samu courage din cigaba. "Shine na kawo maka dama in gaya maka, sai in ka yarda kuma kace in cike sannan sai in cike, in kuma kace a'a sai in mayar masa" ya ajiye takardar yace "wannan takardar wahalar samu ne da ita, ya akayi ya samu cikin sauki?" 

Nace "akwai abokin sa a gurin, kuma shima kaga kusan duk harkar su ce" ya sake yin shiru yayin da zuciya ta take bugawa. Sai kuma ya gyara zama yace "naga kamar da gaske yake, tunda har sai daya bi ta gurin aboki na sannan yazo gare ni. In har aurenki zai yi da gaske to zabin sa ne kiyi karatu ko a'a, amma ni inaso kiyi din, sai dai nafi son kiyi a gidan mijinki" ya miko min takardar "ki je ki cike ki bashi, sannan in har yayi kokari ya samo miki admission din to ki karba, amma duk sanda nayi niyyar aurar dake kuma aka ce masa ya fito yaki sannan wanda yazo da gaske zai aure ki yace baya so to zaki ajiye karatun duk da ina so kuma kema kina so amma aure yafiye miki komai".

Tunda kunne na ya jiye min cewa ya amince sai ya toshe saboda murna, sauran sharadin ma duk ban ji su ba na fara zuba godiya cikin murna sannan na karbi takardar na sauko da sauri ina hada stairs bibbiyu, ina saukowa Farhan tana shigowa ta dawo daga zance, na rungume ta ina tsalle, Umma da take dakin ta take jiran saukowa ta ta fito da sauri, tana gani na tasan nayi nasara sai ta fara tayani murna "alhamdulillah, Allah na gode maka" Farhan ta rike ni "ke lafiya?" Na dan tsaya da murna ta nace "Farhan, Abba ya amince za'a nema min admission a school of nursing"

Ta karbi takardar da sauri  "what?" Nace "da gaske wallahi, Umar ne ya siyo min" Umma ta karba a hannun ta "kawo nan kar ku yaga" Farhan ta mika mata sannan ta fara tayani rawar da nake yi muna zagaye tsakar gida, Hajiya ta fito hannunta rike da charbi "menene naji ana cewa? Hayaniyar menene kuke yi haka?" Farhan tace "Hajiya kinga Jidda saurayinta ya samo mata makarantar karatun nursing, kuma Abba ya barta zata yi" 

Sai Hajiya ta saki charbin hannun ta tana karasa fitowa daga dakin ta zuwa kan baranda. "Menene? Karatu? A gidan nan? To wallahi ba'a isa ba, chafdi, wato ni yayana an tauye su an hana su karatu sai da abin yazo kan ƴaƴan shafaffiya da mai sannan za'a bari ayi? To wallahi yadda suma ba suyi ba itama ba zata yi ba. Uban kuturu ma yayi kadan" 

Umma wadda kamar jira take yi tayi farat ta bayar da amsa "yana sama, wanda ya bari ayi din yana sama sai kije ki gaya masa uban kuturu ma yayi kadan" Hajiya tace "ai yana jina daga nan ma, ba zai yiwu ba wallahi, na gaji da rashin adalcin da ake nuna min a gidan nan ni da yayana wallahi. In kuwa za'a bar Jidda tayi karatu to kuwa dole ne a samo wa Farhan itama su tafi tare" 

Sai muka ja da baya ni da Farhan muna kallon su, dama haka muke yi kullum in suna maganganu irin wadannan kuma ko sun gama ba zamu mayar da baasi a tsakanin mu ba, Abba ya leko ta saman sa yace "nine mai gidan kuma ni nace tayi, idan akwai wanda zai hana yazo ya hana, itama Farhan in wanda zai aureta ya amince tayi to zata yi, amma ni ba zan nema mata ba kamar yadda itama Jidda bani na nema mata ba" daga haka ya koma, muna jinsa ya shige dakinsa ya turo kofa.

Ni dai wannan bai hana min farin ciki na ba. Da safe kuwa da yaya Tahir ya shigo na saka shi a gaba sai da ya taya ni muka cike form din tare, bani da passport photograph ma amma a ranar ya kai ni akayi min two minutes nazo nayi attaching. Da dare da aka zo kirana sai naji dadi na dauko takarda ta na fara shiri, sai da aka ce Musa ne sannan kuma raina ya baci na ajiye takardar na lallaba zuwa soro nace da yaron yaje yace bana nan, na dan jima kadan a gurin sannan na koma nace da Umma har ya tafi wai sauri yake yi. 

Umar din da nake jira kuma vai zo ba a ranar sai washegari da yamma sannan aka sake aikowa ana kirana amma this time around ma sai aka kuma cewa inji Musa. Na maze nayi kamar banji ba, niyya ta yau ma inki fita, amma Umma ta matsa min sai naje "babu kyau wulakanta mutum. Ki je ko gaisawa ne kuyi a hankali Allah zai raba ku lafiya. In kuma shine mijinki babu yadda zaki yi" sai naji raina ya kara baci da maganar ta ta karshe duk da nasan cewa gaskiya ne. Amma ina rokon Allah kar ya kaddara min auren wanda bana so, sai dai abinda ban sani ba a lokacin shine wata kaddarar tafi wata tashin hankali.

Ban ma bude masa sitting room ba dan kar ma ya zauna balle yayi tunanin yi min hira, a tsaye na gaishe shi ya amsa yana kallon kofar sitting room din amma na dauke kaina nayi kamar bansan me yake yi ba. "Gani ance kana kirana" ya dan yi jim sannan yace "kin san dalilin kiran naki ai ko?" 

Nayi shiru. "Jidda me yasa kike rufe min duk wata kofa da zata sada ni da zuciyar ki ne? Me yasa ba zaki bani dama ba?" Na dan kalle shi "to ba gani na fito ba? In bana so in baka dama ai ba zan fito ba ma ko?" Yace "Kamar yadda baki fito ba ranar nan? Ki ka ce ace ba kya nan?" Nayi shiru ina jin nauyin sa, ashe yasan ina gida a lokacin. 

Ya cigaba "yanzu ma jikina yana bani cewa matsa miki aka yi kika fito, dan gashi ko gurin zama kin ƙi ki bani" a raina nace wannan mutumin ko dai dan duba ne? Allah dai ya shiga tsakanin nagari da mugu. Sai nace "ina wani abu ne a cikin gida shi yasa, bana so in dade sosai" ya danyi yar hirarsa shi kadai wadda in za'a yanka ni bansan me yake cewa ba, a karshe ya hakura yayi min sallama ya tafi.

Washegari Umar ya dawo. Wannan karon bayan magrib  yazo kuma tun a aiken farko yace ace inji Umar, nayi kokari sosai wajen boye excitement dina, Amira harda riga ni shiryawa wai zata je ta gaishe shi sai da Umma ta hana ta "bana son kwadayi, dan ya baki kudi ranar nan shine zaki koma masa?" Ta hakura ta zauna amma ranta bai so hakan ba. Ni kuma na shirya na saka hijab dina na dauki takarda ta na fita. 

Sai da na bude kofar sitting room din sannan na leka waje, yana tsaye a gaban motar sa idonsa yana kallon kofar da yake saka ran zan fito. Muna hada ido yayi min murmushin da naji shi a ko'ina na jikina, ban san sanda na mayar masa ba sannan ba tare da nace komai ba na koma ciki shi kuma ya biyo ni. 

Ganin yana zama a kasa ya saka yau na riga shi zama a kasan. Shima ya zauna sannan na gaishe shi. "Ya mutan gida? Ina Amira" "tana ciki" na amsa "ina Farhan? Ita ba zata zo mu gaisa ba?" Nace "zata zo mana, ba ka neme ta bane ba" yace "ita ma Amira ai ban neme taba, dan tana da kirki ne ya saka tazo" nace "wato Farhan bata da kirki kenan ko? To sai na gaya mata" ya daga hannu "kar ki hada ni da ita, dan naga alama a gurinta ne zan kafa gwamnati na. Nayi murmushi "tabbas. Dan ita ce babbar aminiya ta" yace "har Mufida? Sai na gaya mata" 

Na danyi dariya "kar ka hada ni da ita, dan  naga alama nima ta gurinta zan kafa tawa gwamnatin" yayi dariya sosai sannan yace "tabbas, dan kaf sisters dina nafi ji da ita, but she is a little bit stubborn, abinda na fahimci shine ya karfafa kawancen ku" na rike baki "ni yanzu stubborn ce?" Yace "sosai ma, gashi har yanzu kin ki cewa I love you Umar" na jawo hijab zan rufe fuska yace "na daina tsokanar ki, dan Allah kar ki hana min kallon kyakykyawar fuskar ki mana, dan Allah" ya fada murya kasa kasa yana hade hannayensa alamar roko. 

Na saukar da hannu na kasa amma na kasa daga ido na dan ina jin idanuwan sa akan fuskata. Na fara wasa d band din hannuna, sai naji yace "ni fa kishi ne dani" na dago ido nace "kishin me fa?" Ya nuna band din "wannan" nace "wannan kuma? Menene abin kishi a wannan?" Yace "ina kishin attention din da kike ba shi, sai zuciyata take gaya min kamar wani ne ya baki shi" na bude ido "wani kuma? Wallahi ba wani ne ya bani ba, yan sport club din makarantar mu ne suka bamu as soveniers, in baka yarda ba ka tambayi Mufida" 

Yace "ban yarda ba, ita ma kuma in ta gaya min ba zan yarda ba saboda duk bakin ku daya" nace "gaskiyar kenan. Wallahi" yace "kina so in yarda?" Na gyada kai sai ya miko min hannun sa yace "ki bani. Nasan in na wani ne ba zaki bani ba. In baki bani ba zan tabbatar saurayi ne ya baki" na fahimci wayo yake son yi min amma babu yarda zanyi sai na cire na mika masa, sai kawai naga ya karba ya saka a hannun sa. 

Nace "yayi maka kadan ai" ya nuna min hannun, "yayi min dai-dai dai. Dama ai ke yayi miki yawa" na kalla naga yadda yayi masa kyau sosai a kan farar fatarsa kuma ya dace da zobban azurfar da suke yatsunsa. Ya karanto rubutun jiki "beauty Queen. Lallai ko waye ya bada wannan sunan da zan ganshi da sai na bashi kyauta, ya bawa Baby na sunan daya dace da ita" 

Nayi murmushi ina so in mayar masa da kalaman sa in gaya masa shima kyakykyawa ne amma kunya ta hana ni, sai na wayance da zuwa kiran Farhan su gaisa, daga nan sai hirar ta koma mu uku a inda yayi ta bamu labaran sanda yake makaranta da irin wahalhalun da yasha a wajen karatu. Sai bayan ishai sannan yayi mana sallama na raka shi bakin mota ya shiga. "Bye Baby" ya fada yana murmushi sannan ya tafi.

Sai bayan ya tafi sannan na tuna da takardar dana fito da ita zan bashi amma tunda na dora ido na akansa na manta batun takarda. Gashi bani da number din sa ballantana in kira shi kuma na san ba karamin fada Umma zata yi min ba in taji ban bashi ba, Sai na koma na dauke ta na daga kujera na saka ta a can ciki yadda babu wanda zai ganta da niyyar in ya dawo sai in bashi. 

Zuciyata fes na koma cikin gida, muka ci abinci muka sha hirar mu a tsakar gida sannan muka je muka kwanta, sai dai muna kwanciya Farhan ta dauko wata maganar data bata min farin ciki na "gyneacologis ko?" Nace "eh, me yasa kika tambaya?" Ta danyi dariya "ni tunda ya fada kawai naji kunyar sa ta kama ni" na mike zaune "saboda me?" 

Ta mike itama "Jidda likitan mata fa kenan. Hakan yana nufin duk wani abu da kike dashi a jikinki har ma wanda baki san kina da shi ba shi ya san da shi. Hakan kuma yana nufin duk sanda yace ya tafi gurin aiki to y tafi duba mata ne, in nace duba mata ina nufin parts na mata, including the most private parts. Duk patients dinsa fa mata ne" 

Naji wani abu mai zafi ya taba zuciyata, na fara kokarin neman amsar dazan bata amma na rasa sai ta koma ta kwanta cikin tsokana tace "daga yau ki saka a ranki yasan komai da kike boyewa a cikin hijab dinki" na daka mata duka a baya "karya ne wallahi. Yasan dai na wasu marasa lafiya amma ba nawa ba" ta tashi tana sosa inda na dake ta tace "da naki da nasu duk daya tunda duk mata ne" nace "a'a wallahi, bai san nawa ba kuma nawa special ne ba irin na kowa bane ba" na kwanta ina kallon ceiling amma zuciyata tana kuna, ita kuwa dariya take yi, da alama bata san irin ciwon da maganar ta ta ji wa zuciyata ba. 

Har sai da ta gama dariyar ta sannan nace "kuma ai aikin sane haka, aiki yake yi ba wai kalla yake yi dan yana son ya kalla din ba, babu komai a zuciyarsa sai neman yadda zai warkar da patients dinsa" sai data tashi ta matsa sannan tace "bayan kalla har tabawa yake yi" tayi tunanin zan kai mata duka ko wani abu amma sai n juya baya na ina jin raina yana kara baci, sai na samu kaina da tambayar kaina me yasa Umar ya zabi ya zama likitan mata? 

Why not likitan yara? Ko likitan maza jinsin sa? Ko kuma likitan daya daga cikin manyan cututtukan da suka addabi al'umma. Why likitan mata? Amma sai zuciyata wadda take a cike taf da soyayyar sa ta bashi uzuri da cewa idan har maza basu karancin bangaren mata ba to za'a samu matsala a bangaren tunda mata basu cika samun damar yin karatu kamar maza ba, he is just doing a job to earn a living and save lives.

Washegari ya dawo, amma kamar ranar daya bani takarda yau ma mota ya tsaya "na manta ban karbi form ba, I hope kin cike?" Na gyada kai "na fito dashi ma jiya zan baka kuma sai na manta" yace "nima mantawar nayi, da maganar nazo a raina amma ina ganin ki na manta da komai sai ke" nayi murmushi kawai dan nima hakan take, sai na koma n dauko masa na dawo na bashi, briefly ya duba sannan ya shiga mota ya koma.

Washegari Musa ya dawo, ya tarar da yaya Muslim a sitting room dan haka ya shiga suka gaisa sannan ya nemi ya kira masa ni, ina jin cewa shine na tashi na fita a raina ina son in gaya masa gaskiya dan ya daina wahalar zirga zirga mu daina bata wa juna lokaci, gaskiyar ita ce baiyi min ba a matsayin miji amma bashi da wata makusa kuma na tabbatar mata da yawa zasu karbe shi hannu bibbiyu. 

Na shiga na gaishe shi ya amsa da fara'ar sa yana jin dadin na gaishe shi, sai naji na sake jin rashin dadin abinda zan gaya masa. Nace "yaya Musa, kai mutumin kirki ne sosai, Abba da Umma ma duk sun yaba da kai, amma ba Abba da Umma ne zasu zauna da kai in ka aure ni ba" ya mike tsaye "ke zaki zauna dani kuma ke baki yaba dani ba ko?" Na mike nima nace "ba haka bane ba. Bana jin shi so yana tafiya ne a haka. Bamu da zabi akan wanda zuciyar mu zata so ko kuma take so....." 

" Ke taki zuciyar bata so na" ya karasa min, "kin nuna min haka, but you don't have to say it please" na sunkuyar da kaina nace "kayi hakuri, na dauka hakan shine dai dai" sosai nake jin babu dadi a raina. Amma sai naji yace "ba kya sona saboda shi ko? Saboda shi yana da mota ni bani da ita? saboda yafi ni abin duniya?" Na dago kai da mamaki ina kallon sa, ya gyada kai "yes, na san wanda yake zuwa gurinki da farar Benz, na dauka cewa akwai sauran true love a duniya, na dauka akwai sauran yammatan da zasu zabi talaka akan mai kudi, na dauka zanyi amfani da soyayyar da nake yi miki in ribato taki soyayyar, na dauka....." 

Na daga masa hannu "ko kadan ba ina son Umar bane ba dan wani abun da yake dashi, ban taba karbar ko kwandala daga hannun sa ba, na dauk in nayi maka bayani zaka fahimta sannan kayi min uzuri" ya danyi murmushin takaici yace "na fahimta kuma nayi miki uzuri....." 

Kamar daga sama aka daga labulen dakin Umar ya shigo, daga dukkan alamu yazo ne ya rasa dan aike kuma yaga kofar gurin a bude sai kawai ya shigo, hannun sa daya rike da key din motarsa dayan kuma rike da manyan ledoji biyu masu dauke da tambarin sahad stores. Ya tsaya yana raba ido a tsakani na da Musa, sai kuma ya ajiye ledar hannunsa akan kujerar kusada shi yace "ohh sorry guys, na dauka Tahir ne a ciki ko wani" ya kalle ni "I will wait outside" nayi saurin gyada masa kai duk da kururuwar da zuciyata take yi min a cikin kunnuwa na. 

Yana fita Musa ya kalli ledojin daya ajiye sannan ya kalle ni yana karyayyen murmushi yace "kuma kika ce baki taba cin ko kwandalar sa ba, am sure aljanu yayi wa siyayya bake ba" na fara kokarin kare kaina "wallahi....." Sai kuma naga kamar rantsuwar bata da amfani sai nayi shiru, ya girgiza kai "save it" yace tare da kama hanyar fita, har sai daya kai bakin kofa sannan ya juyo yace "in kin chanja ra'ayin ki, gidan mu yana nan a bakin layin nan" sannan ya karasa fita.

A daidai lokacin ne kuma naji tashin motar Umar, da sauri na wuce Musa na fito a dai dai lokacin da Umar yaci tayar mota ya bar layin a guje, na tsaya ina bin motar da kallo, Musa ya karaso ya tsaya a kusa dani shima yana kallon motar sannan ya juyo ya kalle ni yace "yayi fushi, daga dukkan alama yana da kishi, amma kar ki damu in dai yana son ki da gaske zai dawo".


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*💔 Jidda 💔*

*By*

*Maman Maama*


*Episode eight : Bashir*

Bai dawo ba har bayan sati daya, shima kuma Musa bai dawo ba. A cikin satin nan gabakidaya hankali na a tashe yake kusan kullum sai nayi wa Farhan mita a daki "yayi fushi dani Farhan. Watakila ma ya dauka yaudarar sa nake yi Musa nake so, bai san a lokacin da ya gan mu da musan ma ina gaya masa bana son shi ba ne ba" 

Ita kuma sai tayi dariya, ita abin wai dariya yake bata "lallai Jidda kinyi zurfi da yawa, wai ke din ce kike tada hankali akan namiji? Jiddan dana sani ce kuwa? Ni ina ganin wannan dama ce a gare mu da zamu gane in da da gaske yake son ki, dan ni a ganina dan wannan abin bai isa ace ya barki ba, sai dai in dama ba da gaske yake ba" tabbas gaskiya ta fada, sai dai in dama ba da gaske yake ba, amma anya kuwa? Rashin sa yana nufin rashin chance dina na karatu. 

Kusan kullum sai na kira Mufida munyi ta hira duk da nasan basa tare amma na fahimci hakan yana kwantar min da hankali dan nasan lafiyar sa kalau, ko dai ya fasa ne ko kuma yayi fushi sosai.

Kullum kuma ina saka ran inji ko Mufida zata yi min maganar sa amma shiru. Ina ta tunanin ko ni inyi mata in gaya mata yazo kuma ga yadda muka yi dashi ko da kuwa ban nemi shi ta bangaren ta ba at least ban rufe ta da komai ba, kar daga baya taga kamar na munafunceta. Amma still na kasa yi mata maganar. Ranar nan kuma sai gata tayi min da kanta "yanzu mutumin ki ya kira ni wai dan Allah in tura masa hoton ki, nace nima bani da shi" ta karasa maganar tana dariya. Naji wani sanyin dadi a raina amma sai nace "wanne mutumin nawa kenan?" 

Tace "kya ji da shi ma can, na sani ai kuna tare da yaya Doctor amma kina ta wanibasarwa ko?" Na dan yi murmushi "to kinga laifi nadan na basar da shi? Ji nake kanwarsace ta bani shawarar in rabu da shi" sai ta danyi shiru, na dauka zata chanja topic amma sai naji tace "Yaya Doctor ne yana da wuyar sha'ani Jidda, ke kuma ba experience kuke da shi akan samari ba shi yasa na baki shawarar rabuwa da shi dan banyi tunanin da gaske yake ba" nace "amma me yasa kika yi wancan tunanin? Mai yasa kike tunanin yaudara ta zaiyi?" Tace "shi yana daukan irin wannan relationships na yammata da samari ne kamar wasa, in yayi budurwa sai kun gama sakin jikin ku da ita sai ya tubure yace shi fa ba da gaske yake ba kawai friendship ne. Ni wannan abin na gudar miki."

"A yanzu haka Mama babu abinda take so irin taga yayi aure, ita da kanta take samo masa yammatan da take ganin maybe zai so amma sai yace shi basu yi masa ba. Kinga kafin ya tafi India akwai wata second cousin din mu da Mama ta hada su sukayi dating sosai har mun fitar da anko fa, kawai bawan Allahn nan sai yaje ya samu Baba wai Mama zata yi masa auren dole"

Ta karasa maganar tana dariya nima sai naji maganar ta bani dariya "wallahi yarinyar baki ga yadda kowa ya ringa tausaya mata ba yadda kika san zata mutu akan sa amma yace shi wallahi baya son ta, haka ya hada kayansa yayi tafiyar sa India, haka Mama tayi ta bawa iyayen yarinyar hakuri. To irin haka nayi gudun kar ya faru dake shi yasa nayi warning din ki a kansa, saboda yana da saurin shiga rai musamman ke da babu kowa a zuciyarki, bana so kiyi ending up like cousin din can ta mu" na gyada kaina ina fahimtar ta kuma ina jin dadin abinda tayi min sannan na bata labarin so far abinda ya gudana tsakani na dashi, har form din da ya kawo min da zuwan da yayi gurin Abba na. 

"Yanzu still kina tunanin ba da gaske yake ba?" Tace "I can't say gaskiya. Ina tsoron in bada shaida a kansa kuma yazo ya bani kunya" ta karasa tana dariya, sai kuma tace "amma dai abinda zan iya cewa shine ban taba ganin yayi going this far ba, ban taba ganin yayi getting involved with iyayen yarinya ba. I think ya kamata in bawa Mama wannan labarin...." Nayi saurin katse ta "na shiga uku rufa min asiri. Ki bar maganar a tsakanin mu please, in yana so Mama ta sani da kansa zai gaya mata" a haka muka kare maganar. Sai dai ni bata kare a zuciyata ba haka nayi ta bitar maganganun Mufida a raina. A karshe sai na yanke shawarar in Umar ya gama fushinsa ya dawo to zansan yadda nayi na tambayeshi game da relationships din da yayi a baya dan inji nasa side of the story din.

Ranar nan muna cikin waya da Mufida Farhan ta shigo, sai take min sign da in karbi number din Umar a gurin Mufida ni kuma sai na harare ta kawai, da ta sake yi min magana sai na murguda mata baki na cigaba da waya ta, there is no way da zan ce Mufida ta bani number din yayanta duk kuwa da kasancewar Mufida kawata ce. 

Bayan mun gama wayar sai Farhan ta karbe wayar ta sake kiran Mufida "Mufida ga fa kawarki nan taki ci taki sha saboda sunyi fada da yayanki. Allah kuwa. Ki kira shi kice ko dai yazo ko kuma zuciyarta tayi bindiga" na mike tsaye da sauri na bita ita kuma ta fita a guje da wayar a hannun ta, a tsakar gida suka hadu da Umma tayi sauri ta mika mata wayar ta sannan ta shige dakin Hajiya dan tasan ba zan bita can ba. 

Nayi sauri na karbi wayar a hannun Umma na saka a kunne na ina cewa "karya take yi Mufida, sharri take yi min" naji Mufida tana dariya "kwaji dashi ma daga ke har shi, dazu ma sai da ya kira ni yana tambayata wai munyi waya da ke? Ni bani na hada ku ba kuma bana son in kasance a tsakiya in kunyi fada ma sai dai ku shirya kanku ni dai ba zan shirya ku ba" nace bafa fada muka yi ba, sharrin Farhan ne" sai kuma na bata labarin abinda ya faru, tace "lah! Babbar magana, yaya Doctor ne da kishi haka? Ban taba gani ba. Zan kira shi in gaya masa kin kira kina tambayarsa" nace "ki rufa min asiri kar kiyi mini sharri ke ma" ta sake dariya, "tsokanar ki nake yi. Ki share shi zai dawo ne da kansa" 

Naji dadin yadda Mufida tayi reacting, kuma na bi shawarar ta na share shi nima har sai da yayi kwana goma rabonsa da gidan mu. 

Ranar nan Sulaiman ya zo gurin Farhan sai muka fita tare, muna zaune muna hira wanda mostly su biyu suke kayarsu sai dai in sun ambaci sunana sannan sai in basu amsa.

Da yake kofar waje a bude take kuma ni ce nake zaune a kujerar da take facing kofar, ina hango wulkawar mutane duk da cewa su ba zasu hango ni ba, a haka naga tsayuwar motar sa wadda ko cikin mafarki zan gane ta, tun daga nan na daina jin hirar su Farhan na koma kallonsa, komai nashi yayi min komai nashi yana burge ni, ina kallon sa ya fito daga motar ya rufe sannan ya tsaya a gaban motar yana kallon gidan mu, yana kallon kofar sitting room din da take a bude, sai kuma naga ya tako ya shigo cikin railer din still yana kallon budaddiyar kofar sannan kuma naga ya kalli takalmin Sulaiman da yake ajiye a bakin kofa. 

Sai kuma naga ya daga labulen dakin da sauri yana rarraba ido a cikin dakin. Na mike tsaye da sauri ina kallon sa kamar yadda shima ya tsayar da idonsa a kaina. Cikin saurin magana nace "Yaya Doctor wannan saurayin Farhan ne, sunan sa Sulaiman".

Sai da naji Farhan tayi dariya sannan na fahimci abinda nayi, sai kuma naji kunya, ina kallon sa yayi murmushi sannan yace "hey Baby" Farhan tace "baby ce kam, dan yadda tayi ta kuka wai saboda kayi fushi da ita idan ba baby ba babu mai yin haka" na juya na harare ta, ido na yana kawo kwallar haushin tonon sililin da tayi min, yace "Allah da gaske Farhan? Da gaske tayi kuka?" 

Sulaiman da yake kallon mu yace "ga wani kukan nan zata sake yi ai" nan take sai hawayen ya karasa zubowa. Na zauna ina gogewa da hijab dina, Umar ya zauna a kasa a gaba na yace "innalillahi. Kukan ne kuma? Ashe ina da aiki babba a gaba na" Sulaiman yace "ba kadan ba, sai ka shirya aikin rarrashi" na harare shi, Umar yayi sauri ya tare bangaren Sulaiman "noooo wannan hararar ni kadai za'a yi wa ita, tawa ce ni kadai" na dawo da ido na kansa sai ya koma ya zauna a gabana "na gaya miki ai, ina da tsananin kishi" na murguda masa baki sai ya lunshe idonsa yace "kara wani"

Duk suka yi dariya Sulaiman ya mika masa hannu yace "salamu alaikum, gwara mu gaisa kafin ayi maka hararar da zaka narke ban samu ladan musabaha ba" suka gaisa sai kuma muka fara hira gaba-daya mu hudun, mostly akan soyayya tsakanin yammata da samari. Ana cikin hirar ne Umar yace min "before I forget irin ta ranar nan, ina son ki bani exam number da center number din ki na waec, result din ku ya fito, gashi har na siyo scratch card zan dubo miki. Dama ina ta addu'a Allah yasa ta fito kafin a kira ku pretest, dan I was suppose to go with credentials dinki sanda zan karbi form, dan dai an daga min kafa ne" 

Naji hankali na ya tashi "yaya Doctor in na fadi kuma fa? In ban samu abinda suke bukata ba fa?" Yace "sai mu jira neco ta fito, in baki ci a waec ba zaki ci a neco" nace "in ita ma banci ba fa?" Yace "common Baby, zaki ci fa, kuma in ma baki ci din ba akwai private neco da ake yi around december, sai in nemi wani in biya shi ya rubuta miki ki sami 9 distinctions, babu wani problem fa, tunda kina da ni baki da sauran matsala".

Sulaiman yace "wai maganar me kuke yi ne? Kamar makaranta kuke magana akai ko? I thought Abba baya bari ayi karatu sai bayan aure" Umar yayi saurin kallo na sai na sunkuyar da kaina kasa, Farhan tace "ya sauko ai Abban, ya bar Jidda tayi as long as Umar ne zai aure ta, tunda shine yake nema mata makarantar" 

Yace "ohh okay, good" sai tace "nima zai iya barina in fara idan kai ka samo min" ya girgiza kai "a'a don't start there, mun riga mun gama magana da ke cewa sai munyi aure first year din mu zaki tafi school, wannan shine tsarin mu ni da ke bana so kuma dan kinga wasu sunyi nasu tsarin ki ce ke ma irinsa kike so. Kinji?" Ta gyada kai a hankali, amma daga gani ba haka ranta yaso ba, sai ya mike yayi mana sallama ita kuma ta bishi zata raka shi waje. 

Bayan sun fita na mayar da hankali na kan Umar ina jiran ya fara jero min tambayoyi amma sai kawai naji yace "ina fatan banyi laifi a gurin Abba ba?" Na girgiza kai na, yayi ajjiyar zuciya "har na tsorata, na dauka nayi masa shishshigi" na danyi murmushi, sai yace "da na sani da na taho wa da Farhan form din ita ma ta cike, naga kamar tana so" nace "Abba ba zai barta ba ai, cewa zaiyi ai ba kai ne zaka aure ta ba" ya gyara zama "wato ya bar ki ne saboda ni zan aure ki?" Zuciyata daya ma gyada kai sai ya daga hannunsa "yes!" Sai a lokacin na lura da abinda nace, na rufe fuska shi kuma yana dariya. 

Daga nan sai ya zauna ya fara min bayanin yadda tsarin neman admission a school of nursing yake "zasu kira ku kuyi pretest, daga nan wadanda suka ci zasu je ayi musu interview idan sunci sannan sai a basu admission" nan take na rude, shi kuma yana ta yi min dariya tare da kara jaddada min cewa tunda ina da shi bani da problem.

Da zai tafi yau ma har sai daya fita sannan ya tuna cewa bai karbi details din da yake nema ba, sai yace in karbo na Farhan ita ma ya dubo mata. Na koma gida na binciko a cikin takarduna na makaranta sannan naje na taya Farhan neman nata a dakin hajiya muka fita tare muka kai masa.

Washegari da rana sai ga Mufida ta kira ni tana min albishir cewa naci duk subjects ɗin da ake bukata, nayi ta murna ina tsalle itama tana tayani, sai ta bani labarin cewa itama ta ci amma ta fadi English "sai na sake resitting kafin in samu admission" sai naji babu dadi kuma na jajanta mata. Tace "mutumin ki farko cewa yayi wai in bashi number din da muke waya da ita, sai da na bashi kuma nace ta Umma ce sai gashi ya sake kira na wai ya kasa kiran ta, wai kunya yake ji, in ta dauka bai san me zai ce mata ba, gashi bama tare bare ya bani mu fara magana" ta sake dariya. "Wai yaya Doctor ne yake jin kunya" 

Nayi tsaki "ke bama son rashin kunya fa, ki kama kanki ko kuma jikin ki ya gaya miki" tace "ohh, wato dan kin zama budurwar yayana shine har zaki fara dorawa kanki girma ko?" Nace "eh mana, da shekarun sa nake amfani ai yanzu ba da nawa ba" tace "yayi kyau Aunty, daga yau Aunty zan ke kiranki da shi" muka yi ta hirar mu sannan ta sake congratulating dina muka yi sallama. 

Next zuwan da zaiyi ya taho min da printout na results din mu ni da Farhan kuma alhamdulillah duk munyi abin kirki sosai. Kusan kowa na gidan sai da na nuna masa, Abba ma yana zuwa naje na nuna masa kuma na gaya masa wanda ya dubo min, naga alamar yaji dadin hakan kuma yayi mana addu'ar fatan alkhairi.

Da aka saka ranar da zamu yi pretest din shi da kansa yazo ya samu Abba ya sanar masa kuma ya roke shi ya bar ni inje, Abba ya bari kuma yayi min fatan alkhairi. Da ranar tazo ma Umar din ne yazo dauka na, na shirya cikin sabuwar abaya ta maroon da Aunty Afia ta siya min, light make up tunda exam zanje, sannan nayi rolling mayafin abayar, amma dana kalli kaina a madubi sai naga nayi kyau sosai fiye ma da yadda na saka ran zanyi, sai dai na lura cikar kirjina ta bayyana sosai kuma veil din iyakacin kafada ta ya tsaya min, wannan yasa na samo bakin medium veil na yafa akan kafaduna ya sauko ya rufe kirjina. Sannan na dauki bakar jakar da na saka duk takardun da ya gaya min in tafi dasu a ciki. 

Na fito ina kallon Umma ina saka ran ta kora ni tace in saka hijab amma sai naji bata ce komai ba, wannan ya tabbatar min da shigar tawa tayi dai dai. Na hau nayi wa Abba sallama sai ya hada ni da Amira yace mu tafi tare.

A waje muka samu su Umar, tare suka zo daukar mu shi da abokinsa Bashir, a ranar na fara ganin Bashir. Muna fita ya bude min baya na zauna yana ta bina da kallon dana tabbatar na birge shi ne "da motar da mai motar duk naki ne" ya rada min yadda Amira ba zata ji ba, Bashir yace "gulmar me ake yi ne? Kai fa dan iska ne" sai Umar yayi dariya ya koma gaba ya zauna Bashir yana tuka motar, "in ni dan iska ne kai kuma ai shege ne" suka sake dariya, sai naji ban ji dadin yadda suke zagin junansu a matsayin wasa ba, to ko haka maza suke tasu abotar?

A hanya ne Umar yake cewa "Baby ga abokina, ko kuma in ce oga na. Shine mai private clinic din da nace miki ina yiwa aiki, kuma senior na ne tun a school sannan kuma yana da ruwa da tsaki a cikin duganarwar makarantar ku shi yasa nake ta bragging cewa baki da problem, dan haka sai kike yi masa ladabi. Sunansa Bashir Ibrahim" nace "ina kwana Malam Bashir. Sannu da hidima fa, an gode" ya gyara mirror din motar zuwa kai na yace "da baki gaishe ni ba sai da kika ji zancen faduwa exams?" Nayi murmushi "lah ba haka bane ba fa" yace "kuma bana son Malam din nan, ki ce Bashir direct dan Malam yana saka ni inyi feeling kamar tsoho especially in ina tare da kyawawan yara irin ku" Umar ya saka hannu ya mayar da mirror din dai dai sannan yace "au kai da daukan ka kake yi yaro? Ai chus ne kai".

Haka suka cigaba da hirar su suna tsokanar juna har muka je makarantar. Ni kuwa duk na bi na tsure. Muna tsayawa Bashir ya fita, Umar ya juyo ta bangare na yana min magana a hankali "hey ba wahala fa, am sure zaki ci kinji Baby na?" Na gyada kai,  tashin hankali na shine kar inje in fadi inji kunya a gaban saurayi da kuma abokin saurayi. A haka Bashir ya dawo ya kawo min attendance sheet nayi signing sannan muka fita gabaki daya suka rakani har kofar hall din da zamuyi test din sannan suka koma bakin bishiya suka zauna jira na. 

Kusan duk tambayoyin da aka yi mana na san amsoshin su dan haka ban wani samu matsala ba alhamdulillah. Bayan mun gama muka yi submitting tare da photocopies na credentials din mu sannan muka fita. Ina fitowa na hango Umar ya mike sannan ya taho muka hadu a hanya bakin sa har kunne, "from the way da kike ta smiling nasan tayi sauki sosai" na gyada kai, yace "alhamdulillah" Bashir ya karaso tare da Amira a gefensa suna tambayata ya paper din, "alhamdulillah, tayi sauki sosai" Bashir yace "wow, ban taba jin wanda yace pretest tayi masa sauki ba sai ke, lallai ke din ta daban ce, and I think this calls for a celebration ko ya kace Faruq? Ya kamata mu tafi dasu mu danyi celebrating mu sha ice cream" 

Sai naga fuskar Umar ta chanja yace "uhmm, I don't think so" Bashir yace "why not?" Umar ya danyi murmushi yana shafa kai yace "bana son muyi laifi a gurin Abba. Gwara mu mayar dasu gida kawai" Bashir ya sake cewa "Abba a ina zai san inda muka je? Ai bai san yaushe suka gama ba kuma ma the day is still young ba wai dare ne yayi ba" Umar ya sake girgiza kansa fuskar sa ta fara nuna alamar bacin rai "no, gida zamu kai su direct".

Ganin musu yana kokarin sarke wa a tsakanin su yasa na ja Amira muka tafi gurin mota ina bata labarin irin questions din da aka bamu. Mun dan jima muna tsaye kafin su taho, sai na lura kuma tension din tsakanin su was no longer there, kafin mu shiga mota Bashir yace "I must comment to you Jidda, ke ce mace ta farko data sace zuciyar abokina,  ya saba sace zuciyoyin mata amma shi ba'a taba samun wadda ta sace ta sa zuciyar ba sai ke. Hope zaki rike min shi da amana" na kalli Umar da yake tsaye yana ta zabga murmushi nima na mayar masa sai yace "ana baki amana ta baki ce komai ba" na sunkuyar da kai na sannan nace "na karba, na kuma gode" "nine da godiya" ya fada da dariya a muryarsa. 

A Oasis naga sun tsaya sannan suka yi excusing kansu suka shiga, few minutes suka fito da ledoji suka dawo muka karasa gida, bayan sunyi packing ne Umar ya bawa Amira ledojin hannunsa, ta karba yayin da ni kuma na bita da harara, yace "tunda ta harare ki kar ki bata ko dandane" tace "ai kuwa tunda ka fada ba zan bata ba, ni da Farhan zamu cinye" 

Bayan ta shiga nima ban jima ba nayi musu doguwar godiya su kuma suka yi min fatan nasara sannan na bi bayan ta.

A falon Umma na tarar an baje ledojin da Amira ta shigo dasu, har da yaya Tahir da Abbah kowa ya dauki burger da ice cream. Ina shiga Abbah ya fara tsokana ta "ka ga likita matar likita, kina tafiya allura tana zuba"


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*Episode Nine : Engaged*

Soyayya muke yi da Umar mai ratsa zuciya da ruhi, Umar baya iyayin kwana uku ba tare da yazo gidan mu ya ganni ba haka nima duk inda ya kwana biyu bai zo basai inji ko abinci ma baya tafiyar min sosai. 

Cikin kankanin lokaci duk jama'ar gidan mu da wadanda suke cikin gidan da kuma wadanda basa ma gidan a lokacin amma sun san labarin Doctor Umar saurayin Jidda, a lokacin na kuma fahimtar abinda ake kira da yan'ubanci dan kiri kiri Hajiya da yayanta suke nuna rashin jin dadin su da irin saurayin da na samu, a inda ita kuma Umma take sakin bakinta tayi ta mayar da magana a duk lokacin da aka jeho mana ita. Amma wannan sam bai taba amintakar mu da Farhan ba, su suna harkokin su mu muna namu. 

A bangaren Umar shima a yanzu duk yan gidan su sun san da zama na kuma sun san abinda yake tsakanin mu, dan ranar nan kawai sai ga Mama ta kira Umma a waya wai ta kira ta su gaisa, haka Aunty ita ma ranar nan ta kira. Mufida ma yanzu ta fahimci yayanta da gaske yake dan haka ta saki jiki da maganar musamman yanzu da suka gama hutunsu a Lagos suka dawo Kano Umar ya samu damar yin amfani da ita wajen yin waya dani, ya kansa ta kirani in karbi wayar mu gaisa sai yace in rike wayar kar in mayar wa da Umma sai shi kuma ya kira ni da layinsa.

Soyayyar Umar mai dadi ce, irin mai tsayawa a rai din nan ce, kalaman sa masu dadi ne dan zan iya cewa Allah yabashi baiwar tsara kalamai yadda duk wanda aka gayawa sai sun shige shi kamar yadda kullum suke shiga ta. 

Kamar yadda Umar yayi min alkawari haka ya tsaya kai da fata, da karfinsa da lokacin sa da kuma aljihunsa wajen ganin yayi min securing admission a school of nursing, har Allah ya taimaka aka samu din. Sanda aka samu da kansa ya dauki takardar ya kuma dauki mota ya tafi office din Abba yaje ya kai masa, Abba yayi murna sosai ya kuma saka albarka. Sai kuma Umar ya sake rokonsa wata alfarmar daban "Abba nace idan babu damuwa idan kuma ka amince ina roka mata alfarmar ta fara rike waya, saboda harkar makaranta idan babu waya a hannunta karatun ba zai tafi mata dai dai ba, saboda yanzu ma in taje registration dole akwai inda za'a bukaci number din ta kuma......." Abba ya daga masa hannu "na sani, nasan duk wadannan tsarikan. Doctor Umar kana son Jidda ne zaka aure ta?" Umar ya sunkuyar da kai yana shafa keya, sai da Abba ya maimaita tambayar sannan ya amsa "eh Abba haka ne" sai Abba yace "to in ka koma gida ka turo min magabatan ka muyi magana da su".

Yana komawa gida nima ya aika aka kirawo ni "banyi niyyar aurar dake a yanzu ba Jidda, niyya ta sai shekara mai zuwa zan aurar daku ke da yaruwarki, kuma har yanzu ina kan wancan niyyar sai dai dole a danyi wani motsi dan bana son ki fara makarantar nan haka kai tsaye, gwara ko babu aure ace da baiko" ya miko min admission letter din tare da yar karamar Nokia phone. Na saka hannu biyu na karba, ya cigaba "kin samu makaranta ga takarda nan dazu Umar ya kawo min,ga kuma waya nan dan zaki bukace ta a hidimomin shiga makarantar, sannan kuma sanda ya kawo min na gaya masa nace ya turo magabatansa dan muyi magana dasu" na kasa cewa komai dan na kasa tantance menene nake ji a zuciyata. 

Ya cigaba "ina fatan dai har yanzu shine zabin da kike dashi a zuciyar ki? Ko kin chanja?" Na girgiza masa kai a hankali. Ya daga hannunsa "shikenan, tashi kije, zaki iya amfani da wayar amma da sharadin in har na kama ki da laifin yin amfani da ita ta wata hanyar da bata shafi karatu ba to ba wayar kadai zan karba ba har makarantar zan hana zuwa".

Nayi godiya sannan na tashi na sauka kasa ina jin wani iri a raina.

A falon Umma na same ta ita da Amira na ajiye mata kayan hannuna a gabanta sannan nayi mata bayanin duk abinda Abba ya gaya min. Ta dauki takardar tana dubawa, fuskarta tana nuna jin dadin samun makaranta "kai! alhamdulillah, Allah mun gode maka. Kai wannan yaron Allah yayi masa albarka. Hausawa dama sunce juma'ar da zata yi kyau tun daga laraba ake gane ta wannan jumaar alamu sun gama nuna mana mai kyau ce insha Allah. Allah yasa kin shiga a saa shi kuma da ya tsaya Allah ya saka masa da alkhairi".

Farhan kuma wayar ce tafi daukan hankalin ta "wow, mun samu waya. Bara in zo in kira Man" na kwace wayata "ke rufa min asiri, Abba yace zai kwace in dai nayi wani abu wanda bai shafi makaranta ba" ta harare ni "shima Abba neman magana yake yi kawai, in dai har ba'a kira Doctor da wannan wayar ba ai bata cika waya ba".

Ai kuwa tayi gaskiya dan kuwa da number dinsa nayi activating layi na, sai dana shiga dakin mu na kwanta a kan katifar mu na ja pillow na rungume sannan na kira number dinsa dana dauka a wayar Umma. Bata jima tana ringing ba ya dauka. "Hello" nayi shiru ina murmushi, ina jin dadin jin fitar numfashin sa, "who is on the line please?" Ya sake fada, nace "hi" ya danyi shiru sannan yace "Baby! Is that you?" Nace "nice Doctor" yayi ajjiyar  zuciya "Allah ya saka wa Abba da alkhairi. Gaskiya Abba yana sona Allah ya bani ikon mayar masa da soyayyar sa" nace "ameen. Ya kawo min takarda dazu, Nagode sosai Allah ya saka da alkhairi"

Yace "bana hana ki yi min godiya ba? Ni dai fata na in kyautata miki kiji dadi, in dai kinji dadi a ranki shikenan ni kin biya ni duniya da lahira" nayi murmushi ina jin dadin kalaman sa "ya office?" Yace "alhamdulillah, gashi muna cikin sa" "har yanzu baka koma gida ba? Kar fa ka gaji da yawa ka kasa tashi gobe" yace "tunda na samu abokiyar hira ai babu ni babu gajiya, already wadda nake ji ma ta wartsake" nace "haba dai, daga magana?" 

"Eh mana, maganar ai ba common magana ba ce ba, maganar matata Jidda ce" nace "yaushe aka daura ni ba'a gaya min ba?" Yayi dariya "an kusa ai, ko Baba bai gaya miki abinda ya gaya min dazu ba?" Nace "ya gaya min" yace "Allah? Amma banji kina murna ba, ni da nake tunanin yau ba zan iya bacci ba saboda murna" nace "nayi mana, kawai dai nayi mamaki ne" yace "nima nayi mamaki, na dauka sai zuwa next year haka sannan zai bani wannan damar amma naji dadi sosai,naji kamar an kara min matsayi ne a rayuwa. Jidda You have no idea yadda nake jin ki a zuciyata dan ko gobe Abba yace inzo a daura wallahi a shirye nake. Ni sai da ya fadi haka ma sannan na kuma fahimtar yadda na matsu kizo gida na, ko dan ina ganin kamar nesa tazo kusa ne?"

Nace "ka daina irin wannan maganar fa, kaga kana saka ni jin kunya" yace "to ki daina sauraron kunya ballantana ki ji ta, ni kawai zaki saurara muryata kawai zakiji banda ta kunya" nayi dariya, yace "har na kira Aunty fa na gaya mata kuma nace ta gaya wa Baba, already am sure ta riga ta gaya masa ma maybe har ya fara hado kan wadanda zasu zo din" na bude baki "da wuri haka? Ai ka bari ka koma gida sai ka gaya masa da kanka tunda yana gari ko?" Yace "and risk the chance of Abba changing his mind?" Nace "never. He never changes his mind. Kuma yana son ka ai" yace "ni kuma ina son yarsa" nace "ohh wato yar sa kake so ba shi ba ko? To sai na gaya masa" yayi dariya "kar ki hada ni da babana"

Haka muka yi ta hira har sai da naji anyi min warning welcome bonus din da aka bani ya kusa karewa sannan nayi masa sallama da cewa "bara in barka haka dan kar patients dinka su jira ka" yace "already ma gasu suna jira, let them wait" nace "wai kana nufin patients suna jiran ka kake hira?" Yace "eh mana, ai sawun giwa ne ya take na rakumi" nace "a'a ka koma gurin su, ai lafiya tafi komai" yace "yes ma, an gama".

Ban jima da ajiye wayar ba naji shigowar message, na dauka na duba naga kudi aka turo min layina na 5k, duk da ban fahimci daga waye ba amma nasan daga shine dan a yanzu shi kadai ne yake da number ta. Na yi murmushi sannan na aika masa da sakon godiya wanda bai yi min reply ba dan ya sha hana ni yi masa godiya a duk sanda yayi min wata kyauta. Amma ba zan iya kin yi masa godiya ba duk da yawan alkharinsa gare ni yafi karfin godiya.

Kunya wata aba ce da ake alakantata da fulani, amma a gidan su Umar zan iya cewa an samu akasi dan kunya tana daga cikin abinda basu sani ba, ko wayewace ta kawo haka oho. Na riga nasan Umar bashi da ita, haka ma Mama dan bayan Umma har ni takan kira wai zamu gaisa, to ban kuma tabbatar da rashin ta idon su ba sai ranar da aka zo neman aurena, Baba ne da kansa yazo tare da kannensa biyu da kuma amininsa guda daya suka zauna a sitting room tare da Abba da Alhaji Saleh babban abokin sa da kuma wani cousin dinsa Malam Umaru. A cikin gida kuma Aunty Afia tazo muka hadu aka shirya wa bakin lafiyayyen abinci da abin sha aka kai musu. 

Bamu san me suke tattaunawa ba ba kuma musan ne suka yanke ba sai kawai ganin Baba mukayi yazo yace wai in shirya inje in gaishe su. Na rike baki ina zaro ido, Umma tace "ya za'a yi taje ta gaishe su? A ina aka taba yin haka?" Yayi yar dariya, inajin na jima ban ga Abba cikin farin ciki irin na ranar ba yace "surukinta ne yace sai ya ganta zai tafi, ita ce surukarsa ta farko kuma zai jima kafin ya sake wata dan next dansa namiji shekarar sa biyar" Aunty Afia tace "to fa! Wannan kamar ba fulani ba? Wannan ina jin dashi za'a zo daukan amarya" duk suka yi dariya, ga mamaki na harda Abba a dariyar. 

Ya fita yana cewa "ku shirya ta dai dan Allah sharp sharp taje ta gaishe su" haka Aunty Afia ta shirya ni tsaf a cikin sabuwar laffayar da a ranar ta kawo min ita tace siya mana tayi mu biyu ni da ita iri daya, ta feshe ni da turare amma bata yi min make up ba sai dan rufe min rabin fuskata da laffayar, da kanta ta fita gurin Hajiya neman Farhan tazo ta rakani amma Hajiya ta hana ta fitowa tace bacci take yi, haka Aunty ta yafa mayafin ta da kanta ta rakani.

Ni dai a lokacin ba zan iya ganewa waye Baba a cikin su ba dan ban dago ido na kalle su ba, tunda na gaishe su kuma sai naja bakina nayi shiru ina jin su suna gaisawa da Aunty sannan suka doddora min kudi a bakin laffaya ta suka fita tare da Abba suna ta hira da dariya. Yanayin yadda suke yi kadai ya tabbatar min da cewa komai ya tafi dai dai. Hakan kuwa Abba ya tabbatar mana bayan ya dawo daga raka su. "Na bayar da Hauwa'u ga Umar. In sun shirya zasu zo a saka rana"

Aunty Afia tace "Allah ya sanya alkhairi to, Allah yasa abokin zamanta ne har abada. Amma ji nake za'a fara bincike akansa tukunna" ya mike "ai ku matsalar ku kenan mata, ku baku san abinda ake ciki ba kuce sai kun shiga cikin magana, tun yaushe nake binciken? Ai sai dana tabbatar nasan duk abinda ya kamata in sani sannan nace masa ya turo din" tayi shiru bata ce komai ba dan ta san ba lallai ta fadi masa mai dadi ba. Yana fita ya kira hajiya "ki gaya wa Farhan itama ta zaba a cikin maneman ta tace ya fito, tare zan hada su nan da wata goma masu zuwa" daga haka ya haye sama.

Aunty ta kalli Umma "wata goma? Why wata goma?" Umma ta daga hannu "Allah masani, ni ban san mai yake shirya wa ba" suka cigaba da hirar su ni kuma na shiga cikin daki na kwanta ina jin mixed feelings a zuciyata. Ina jin Umma ta bawa Aunty kudin da aka bani tace ta tafi dasu ta ajiye saboda abinda yake gaban su.

Ba'a dauki dogon lokaci ba suka dawo suka kawo kudin sa rana, gaisuwar uwa da uba da kuma sadaki gabaki daya. Sun nemi a saka lokaci kadan kamar yadda Umar ya gaya min zai nemi suyi, amma sai Abba ya saka wata goma kamar yadda ya riga ya fada, duk bamu san dalilin sa ba sai da yaya Tahir yayi mana bayani "ina ganin Abba yana son ya karbi pension dinsa sai yayi amfani da shi gurin hidimar auren su" Umma tace "pension kuma? Wanne irin pension bayan baiyi retire ba?" Yaya Tahir yace "yayi, wannan watan yayi, bashi kuma da wani savings da zai ishe shi auren su" Umma ta rike baki tana mamakin halin Abba, yayi retire ba tare da su matan sa ya gaya musu ba sai dai yayansa maza ne kadai suka sani dan shi a tunanin sa yana ganin sune zasu bashi shawara mai kyau tunda sune maza.

Na tashi zaune daga kwancen da nake nace "wai lokacin retirement dinsa yayi?" Yace "eh yayi mana, tun last year sun dan daga masa kafa ne kawai" Umma tace "kuma idan yayi amfani da pension dinsa yayi wa yayansa aure shi kuma mai zai rike a hannunsa? Na dauka amfanin pension shine mutum ya ja jarin da zai cigaba da rike kansa zuwa karshen rayuwarsa?" 

Tahir yace "ai bana jin zai karar dasu duka, dole zaiyi plan for the future, in ma baiyi ba ai yana da manyan yayan da su ya kamata su cigaba da rike shi tunda shi yayi spending all his working years ne wajen inganta tasu rayuwar" Umma tayi ajjiyar zuciya tare da cewa "to Allah yasa. Amma bana jin hakan abu ne mai yiyuwa. In ma  zasu rike sai dai su rike uwar su mu kuwa uwarsu ba zata barsu suyi mana komai ba" sai ta dawo da hankalin ta kansa tace "dole ne kai ma ka shiga kasuwa Tahir, ya kamata ka raba karatun nan da kuma kasuwanci dan ka samu ka hada biyu" ya shafa kansa "insha Allah Umma".

A ranar da aka saka ranar yazo shi da Bashir "amaryar mu" Bashir ya fada cikin tsokana. Na rufe fuska, Umar yace "amaryar ku a ina? Ka daina sa mata plural tawa ce ni kadai" yace "okay tun yanzu zaka fara nuna isa a kanta? Wannan in muka je gidan ku a gate za'a ke ajiye mu" yace "au da kana tunanin zaka shiga ciki? Ai a bakin gate zaka tsaya a miko maka ruwa ka sha ka kara gaba, ko kofar falo ba zaka hango ba" na murmusa "ogan naka kake gayawa haka?" Yace " Baby, a cikin asibitin sa ne kadai yake oga na, in muka fito waje ni ne ogan sa yanzu" 

Bashir ya gyara zama yana kallon sa da mamaki yace "ta yaya ka zama oga na? The last time I checked ko a school ni senior dinka ne" Umar ya dora kafa daya kan daya yana kadawa yace "ni yanzu an saka min rana, I am one step ahead of you yaro, kai ko budurwar kirki ba ka da ita" Bashir yayi dariya "lallai kai  tantiri ne, amma ni na fika tantiranci. Zan baka mamaki dan a cikin satin nan zaka ji an daura min aure, kuma tunda kayi min wulakanci ko gayyatar ka ba zanyi ba sai dai kaji labari" 

Nace "a'a ba za'a yi haka ba ogan mu, ina bada hakuri a madadin sa" yace "to kaci sa'a Jidda ta rarrashe ni ta kuma roke ni Allah da annabi na fasa" suka yi dariya tare, Umar yace "kai kam dai ai sai an nada ka bachelor's king na dukkan Kano kafin kayi aure" ya juyo gurina yana nuna shi yace "wannan da kike gani duk girman sa ko budurwa bashi da ita" Bashir ya mike tare da cewa "bara dai in tashi in tafi zance nima tun kafin wannan dan guguwar ya kwance min zani a kasuwa" suka sake dariya sannan suka yi musabaha ya fita.

Shiru ya biyo bayan fitarsa, sai abin ya zame min wani iri dan shiru bata fiya ratsa tsakani na da Umar ba. Sai na dago kai dan inga halin da yake ciki, yana zaune da wayarsa a hannunsa yana dannawa fuskarsa dauke da murmushi, hankalin sa gaba ki daya yana kan wayar da alama abinda yake yi yana yi masa dadi sosai. Sai naji wani abu ya taba zuciyata na tabe baki a hankali nace "ina kishi" bai kalle ni ba still cikin wayar yake kallo murmushin sa yana kara fadi yace "really? Kishin me?" 

Naji raina ya kuma baci sai na dauke kai ban sake cewa komai ba, ina lissafi a raina cewa in na kirga goma bai ajiye wayar ba zan tashi in shiga gida in yaso yayi hira da wayar. Na juya kaina gefe cikin bata rai da tura baki sai naji yace "yes! Wannan yafi kowanne kyau" na harare shi nace "zan koma ciki in ka gama hirar Allah ya kiyaye hanya"  yace "shshsh, in kina motsi zaki bata hoton" na kalleshi ina lura da cewa wayar saitina take "wai hoto kake yi min?" Yace "har da video, kinga na samu na rage dare, ina waya dake ina jin muryar ki kuma ina kallon hoton ki, na zama dan gata. Baki ga yadda suka yi kyau ba lemme show you" 

Sai ya taso ya dawo kan hannun kujerar da nake zaune akai ya zauna, naji wani iri sosai duk da jikinsa bai taba nawa na amma kamshinsa ba wai kamshin turaren sa ba a'a kamshinsa ya shige ni sosai, ya fara nuna min pictures dina daya dauka yanzu yana min dariyar yadda na tura baki sanda ina fushi, har da zooming bakin, nasa hannu na rufe screen din wayar da sauri shi kuma yana dariya, sai kuma nace "ka tashi ka koma gurin ka" ya  gyara zama tare da yin ajjiyar zuciya, "nan yafi dadi, amma ya na iya da abinda yafi karfina? Tunda an bani umarni dole in bi" 

Amma bai tashi ba sai daya dauke mu pictures tare kuma ni kaina nasan munyi kyau sosai together, da ace babbar waya ce dani da tabbas sai nayi dabara na karba ko dan nima in samu hoton da zaike debe min kewarsa in bama tare, sai ya mike ya koma daya kujerar ya zauna tare da yin tagumi da hannu daya yana kallona nace "wannan kallon fa? Ba ka samu pictures ba sai kayi ta kalla" ya girgiza kai "wata goma nake lissafawa, anya kuwa ba zanje in yi wa Abba kuka ba?" Nace "kuka kuma? Akan me? Sai kace ba namiji ba? Kai fa kace ko shekara nawa ne zaka jira" ya shafa kai "yes, haka nayi tunani, but after looking at those lips gaskiya akwai matsala" 

Naji wani iri, nace "ka bari dan Allah. Kaga kana bani kunya" yace "bani abata" nace "me?" Yace "kunyar" nayi dariya, sai yace "kinga, gwara in fada miki ita wannan kunyar taki ina sonta sosai kuma tana birgeni sosai amma duk ranar da za'a kai ki gidana to ki tabbatar kin ajiyeta a bakin gate, inzaki fita unguwa sai ki dauki kayarki ki tafi da ita, in kin dawo sai ki sake ajiye ta, dan ni a gidana babu wani abu mai kama da kunya da zai kasance tsakanina da matata" na makale kafada "naki din, ni har cikin gida har kuma cikin daki zan shiga da abata" yace "ko kin shiga da ita ma zan kwace ta in jehota ta taga".

Muka yi dariya gabaki daya, sai naji nima a raina ina hango ranar, ranar da zan zama matarsa shi kuma zai zama mijina, but kafin nan ina son clearing wani abu a tsakanin mu tunda ina ganin shine dalilin da yasa ake zance dan a fahimci juna. Abinda ya jima yana taba zuciyata akan sa. 

"Yaya Doctor, dan Allah ina son jin labarin relationships dinka na baya" naga fuskar sa ta sauya da mamaki yace "my past relationships? But why?" Nace "na taba jin kace you were in some relationships kafin ni, sannan kuma Mufida mentioned something like that. Shine nake son ji" 

Ya gyara zama yana dan shafa sajensa kadan kamar mai tunani sannan yace "kafin in ganki, abinda zan iya kira da relationship dana taba yi I think guda biyu ne. Ta farko she is my second cousin. Lokacin da nake kokarin tafiya India Mama was like "ba zaka tafi babu aure ba, gwara ayi maka aure sai ka tafi da matar" irin dai abin nan na iyaye mata. So, lokacin bani da budurwa sai ta haɗa nida wata yar cousin dinta. Yes, na jejje gurinta zance but ni a raina gaskiya ina zuwa ne dan in faranta ran Mama. At the end kuma sai na samu Abba ya goya min baya yace ba za'a yi min aure ba sai lokacin da nake so, sooo, sai nayi tafiya ta kawai"

"Ita kuma ta biyu was my colleague a India, sunan ta Zuwaira tare muka yi karatu. Kuma farkon haduwar mu we thought something can work out between us but daga baya sai muka fahimci muna da banbancin halayya kuma ba zamu daidaita ba, sai muka rabu muka cigaba da friendship kawai, and we lost contact bayan mun dawo Nigeria, na san dai ta samu aiki yanzu but ban san a ina ba but am sure tayi aure by now"

"To bayan dawowata kuma sai Mama ta kuma tayar da maganar Hafsa. Su wai ashe suna ta jira ne in dawo a cigaba daga inda aka tsaya, a lokacin ne kuma na fito na gaya musu gaskiyar cewa batayi min ba ba zan iya auren ta ba. Nan fa akayi ta magana wai na yaudare ta and stuffs like that. At the end akayi mata auren huce haushi da wani cousin din mu, I heard ma wai ta haihu. Shikenan" ya karasa yana murmushi. 

Na gyada kai cikin fahimta, case din Hafsat shine abinda Mufida tayi referring to as broken heart(s).

Yace "now your tone, akwai samarin da ya kamata in sani?" Na girgiza kai zuciyata daya "babu, babu kowa sai Umar Faruq" yace "nooo, don't be like that mana, ina wannan dan gajeren gayen nan dana gani a nan ranar nan" na dafe kai, ni na manta ma da musa sai yanzu. Sai na bashi labarin Musa na kuma tabbatar masa da cewa na sallame shi, yace "now, mu biyu muka rage wa junan mu kenan ko?" Na gyada kai "Allah ya bamu ikon rike amanar juna".

Umar ne ya tsaya min akan komai na registration dina, tun daga kan biyan kudi har sauran abubuwan da ba'a rasa ba wanda suke buƙatar wanda zai tsaya maka da kuma siyan littattafai da sauran abubuwan bukata na harkar karatu, sannan kuma ya dauki kudi masu kauri ya bani saboda transport zuwa makaranta. Ni a lokacin duk sai kunya ta ishe ni duk da ba ni na roke shi ba amma nasan ba alhakin sa bane ba yayi min wannan hidima tunda ba a daura mana aure ba an dai kawo sadaki kawai. 

Sai naki karba, shi kuma yayi fushi daga baya yazo ya ajiye min kudin yayi tafiyar sa. Har da siyayya sutura yayi min wai zuwa makaranta yana kashe kayan sawa. Duk irin wadannan abubuwan su suke kara hura wutar kaunarsa a zuciya ta har nake jin sa a matsayin wani babban jigo na rayuwata. Kuma wani karin abin burgewa a tare da shi shine duk wannan hidimar da yake yi min bai taba fada wa mutanen gidan su ba ballantana inji tsoron wata rana zasu iya goranta min. Dan da ace ya fada da sai Mufida ta fada min ko da cikin hira ne ba wai da sunan gori ba. Sun san dai shi ya samo min makaranta amma basu san shi ya biya kuɗin ba.

Na fara zuwa makaranta successfully bani da wani stress tunda duk abinda ake bukata ina dashi ga kuma yan chanji a jaka ta. Challenge din dana fara fuskanta shine na samari, babu ranar da zan fita in dawo ba tare da wani ya tsayar dani yayi min magana ba, ko a hanyar zuwa ko a dawowa ko kuma ma a cikin makarantar. Sai dai amsa daya nake basu a koda yaushe "ni matar aure ce". 

Wadannan kalmomi sai suka zauna min a bakina har ya zamanto bana mistake dinsu, kuma kasancewar duk babu wanda ya sanni a school din. Wannan yasa kowa ya dauka da gaske ni din matar aure ce har wani girma na musamman ake bani harda masu kirana da Aunty, ni kuwa in amshe abina😂. Kuma shigar mutuncin da nake yi ita ta kara fentin karyata. Kuma yawan ganina da suke yi da Umar sai yasa duk suka tafi a cewar shine mijina, ni kuma naji dadin hakan sai na cigaba da zura su suna tafiya.

Amma duk da haka ban fita ba a gurin Umar. Yana yawan gaya min cewa yana da kishi amma ban tabbatar ba sai da na fara zuwa school, duk yabi ya saka min ido, da farko ma cewa yayi nikab zan ringa sakawa sai da nanuna bana so sannan ya hakura. Amma in dai har na sake ya ganni da namiji to kuwa ya saka ni a gaba da tambaya kenan a karshe kuma sai yace "babu ke babu shi, dan iska ne" na kan yi mamaki "dan iska kuma? Me yasa kace haka? Ka san shi ne?" Sai yace "ban san shi ba amma yadda ya saka ki a gaba yana washe miki baki ya nuna min cewa akwai wani abu a zuciyarsa. Please promise me ba zaki sake kula shi ba" a haka ahaka sai daya cancelling fiye da rabin mazan ajin mu daga list din wadanda zan ke kulawa. 

Amma ni ban damu ba, tunda dai naga baya so sai na ke kokarin ganin cewa bai ganni da mazan ba, ba wai dan na yarda da abinda yace na cewa yan iska ne ba sai dan ina so in faranta masa. Kuma dama ni kula maza is not my thing, sai idan ya zama dole.

Ina shiga makaranta na kara wayewa na kara gayu fiye da wanda nake da shi a da, Farhan cewa tayi har kyau na kara, ni kuma nasan na kara son Faruq na kuma kara shakuwa da shi. Dan yanzu kusan kullum sai na ganshi tunda school din mu bata da nisa da office dinsa, duk sanda yake free kuma ya kira yaji ina free sai ya shigo ko da briefly ne munyi magana ya fita, ko kuma ya siyo min snacks ya kawo min yace kar inji yunwa, wani lokacin kuma idan lokacin tashin sa yazo dai dai da lokacin tashi na sai ya dauko ni zuwa gida. 

A irin wadannan lokutan ne yake bani labarin an fara hada masa lefe a gida. "Aunty tace wai ta karbi kwangilar lefen" yayi dariya "ita shegen son kudi ne da ita, ni kuma nace a'a bana son a bata, tace wai buƙulu nake mata nace naji ɗin" nace "to me yasa ba zaka bar mata ba? Waye baya son kudi?" Ya daga kafada "ni nafi son mu hada kayan mu tare ni da ke. Komai mu siya wanda muke so ba wanda wadansu suke so ba. Matata yar gayu ce kuma I trust her choices" na sunkuyar da kaina ina murmushi "kuma shikenan sai kace musu ni zan siyo?" Yace "why not? Ni fa bana takurawa kaina saboda ina jin kunyar wani, ni gaskiya in kika cire Umma da Abba to few people nake jin kunya fa"

Nace "banda ni?" Yace "especially you. Saboda me zanji kunyar ki? Someone that I will share everything with in the future. Including toilet" na rufe fuskata ina dariya  "lallai ma, wallahi toilet biyu za'a yi naka daban nawa daban" yace "sai in bar nawa ai in dawo naki" nace "key zan saka in ke rufewa ai. Ni ba zaka ga toilet dina ba" yayi murmushi yace "amma na tausaya miki, irin sosai dinnan cos you have no idea yawan abubuwan da zamu ke sharing, toilet is among the least important, we will share a bed, a bath, and a toothbrush" 

nayi saurin chanja topic "maganar Aunty da lefe, ina ganin da ka barta kawai tayi kaga ba zata ji dadi ba in ka hana ta, ka barta tayi ko ba duka ba ta siyo wadansu. Misali laces, tunda yanzu tana Lagos zata iya siyowa tare da sarkoki tunda sunfi kyau da saukin kudi a can. Zata iya ta turo maka sample ta waya sai mu zaba din tunda kana so mu zaba, in tazo nan kuma sai ta sayi atampa da materials da abaya, shima sai mu zaba ta waya. In yaso kayan kwalliya sai mu siya tare, ya ka gani?" Yayi murmushi fuskar sa tana nuna jin dadin sa "hakan yayi sosai. Wannan ya kara nuna min cewa nayi zabe mai kyau na uwar yaya na mai hankali da sanin ya kamata" daga nan kuma hirar sai ta koma kan yayan da zamu haifa.

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*Episode Ten: Jamila*

Haka siyayyar lefen ta kasance, hatta boxes tare da shi muka zaba Aunty kuma ta siyo, komai sai abinda nake so abinda na zaba sannan zai yarda a saka in kuwa ta sayi wanda ban zaba ba sai yayi mata tijara ta sake wani. Farko in yana mata haka sai inga kamar rashin kunya, daga baya sai na fuskanci akwai wasa sosai a tsakanin su kuma na fahimci ita ce take musu wasan dan ni kaina ta kan kirani a waya ta tsokane ni. 

A haka aka hada lefen, kamar yadda na fada kayan kwalliya tare muka je muka siyo da Mufida da Farhan, a lokacin na ga uban kudin da ya kashe a iyakacin kayan kwalliya kawai, sai na fahimci lallai dole samari suji tsoron lefe dan ba karamin aiki bane ba.

A daren ranar ne bayan mun dawo gida mun yi shirin kwanciya sai ya kira ni a waya kamar yadda ya saba duk dare, "Aunty ce ta aiko ni, tace in tambaye ki size din pant da bra" na rufe ido na da sauri kamar yana kallo na "kai dan Allah" ina jin shi yana dariya, "ni dai dan aike ne, amsa kawai za'a bani sai inje in bayar ni ma" nace "ba wani nan, Aunty ba zata yi maka wannan tambayar ba ai tana da number dina zata iya tambayata ko kuma ta saka Mufida ta tambaye ni" 

Yace "Allah da gaske nake fa, ta tambaye ni nace ban sani ba tunda ni ban taba gani ba sai dai ta cikin hijab, ta cikin hijab kuma ba gane girman nake yi sosai ba amma dai ina ganin kamar suna da dan girma haka....." Na katse shi "ka ga ka daina, zan kashe waya fa wallahi in baka daina ba" yana dariya yace "sorry Baby. I am just curious, dan Allah ki gaya min size nawa ne, babu wanda zan gaya wa daga ni sai ke" 

Nace "kuma kace Aunty ce ta ke tambaya" yace "ni ne nake tambaya. I just want to know" nace "ai kuwa ba zaka sani ba" yace "kar ki rantse dai, only time will tell. In dai size ne kwana nawa ya rage in sani, ba size ba har shape da texture duk zan sani, in auna abina da kai na......." Banji karshen maganar ba na katse wayar tare da tura ta kasan pillow na na kuma rufe kunnuwa na da hannayena amma ban daina murmushi ba. Da gaske zai sani? Duk wannan abinda ya fada zai faru ko? Na shiga uku.

Ina jin wayar tana ta ruri amma ban daga ta ba dan nasan shine har saida ya hakura ya daina kira.

Shigowar Farhan ya dawo dani daga tunanin abinda zai faru a ranar da Umar yake magana akai, ta zauna a bakin katifa tana jujjuya wayarta a hannun ta amma hankalin ta baya tare da ita sam. Na mike zaune ina kallon ta. "Har yanzu bai kira ba ko?" Ta gyada kai kawai ba tare da ta kalle ni ba tace "bai kira ba kuma wayarsa bata shiga. Ina jin yayi blocking dina ma" na jinjina kai kawai sannan na koma na kwanta dan ban san abinda zan ce mata ba.

Kamar yadda komai yake tafiyar min dai dai haka komai yake tafiyar wa Farhan ba dai dai ba. Na farko kuma mafi muni shine yadda Sulaiman ya juya mata baya lokaci daya tunda ta sanar da shi cewa Abba yace ya fito maganar aure, farko sai yace shi bai san yanzu ne za'a yi auren ba dan bai gama sanin ta ba yana so a kara masa lokaci su kuma fahimtar juna, ta nuna masa cewa ba wai a lokacin za'a yi ba za'a dauki watanni kawai dai ana son in da gaske yake ya turo magabatan sa ayi magana. 

Tun daga nan ya fara ja mata aji, a hankali ya fara zamewa har ya kasance ya tafi ga baki daya. Tun tana boyewa Abba har dai ta fada masa gaskiya shi kuma yayi mata barazanar ko ta fitar da wani ko kuma shi ya fitar mata dan shi lallai tare yake so ya hada mu. A duk sanda ya yi mata irin wannan fadan in ta koma gefe ta kan ce "to ni in ba ni ake so ince ina son kaina kuma in auri kaina ba ban san ya ake so inyi ba, ba sai ance ana so na ba sannan zan ce a fito? Ko kuma mutum zan tara a hanya kawai ince masa ya fito ya aure ni?

Abu na gaba kuma shine karatu, da bata saka ran zata yi karatu ba dan tun mun yara Farhan itace mai son aure ni mai son karatu amma yanzu ganin kullum ina fita inje makaranta ita kuma tana zaune a gida daga kallo sai kwanciya sai ta fara son makarantar itama. Sai dai fur Abba ya shafawa fuskarsa toka yace ba a gidan sa ba nima wanda zan aura ne ya samo min, ita ma ta fito da miji sai ya samo mata. Haka ta hakura, da kyar ya samu ya siya mata waya irin tawa bayan Hajiya tayi kamar zata kona gidan saboda balain ta.

Zancen retire din Abba ta tabbata, sai da ta tabbata sannan ya gaya wa su Umma ya kuma gaya musu niyyar sa tayi mana kayan daki ni da Farhan da wani kaso na cikin kudin pension da aka bashi sannan ya shiga kasuwa da sauran. Amma yanzu da Sulaiman ya gudu sai yace ni kadai zai yiwa har  na Farhan din zai shiga kasuwar da shi. 

Wannan ya kuma tayar da rigima a gidan mu, Hajiya tace bata yarda ba komai aka siya min sai an siyawa Farhan "idan kuma auren nata yazo babu kudin fa? Ya za'a yi da ita?" Umma kuma tace "to in dai warewa za'a sai a ware har da na Amira itama, ita ma ai komai daren dadewa za'a yi nata auren" nan take rikici ya kaure a karshe Abba yafita ya bar musu gidan, tun suna yi a samansa har suka sauko kasa kowa ta shiga dakin ta amma in wannan ta leko tayi magana ta koma daki sai waccan ta leko ta bata amsa.

A karshe dai bayan cecekuce da fadan da Farhan ta sha a gurin Abba sai Allah ya taimake ta  ya ce ya kara mata lokaci dan haka nawa bikin kadai za'ayi yanzu, sannan kuma da aka tashi siyayyar furnitures sai akayi set biyu nawa da nata komi iri daya sai banbancin colors, kayan kitchen manya ma duk bibbiyu aka siya kanana ne dai ba'a siya mata ba nima kuma ba Abba ne ya siya min ba, kudin auren da aka kawo ya bawa Umma suka hada da kudin da suke tarawa suka yo min siyayya ita da Aunty Afia, sunyi min siyayya mai kyau wadda duk kushen mai kushe sai dai yayi hassada. Sannan kuma Abba ya hada min gara dai dai karfinsa.

A haka har watan bikina ya kama, Umar ma kusan duk ya gama shirye-shirye ta ɓangaren sa. Dama Baba already ya siya masa gida a rijiyar zaki tun kafin ya tafi India, dan haka yanzu renovating kawai yayi yan chanje chanjen da muka zauna ni da shi muka tsara. Ban taba zuwa gidan ba amma zan iya cewa babu wani lungu ko sakon daban sani ba a gidan dan hatta fenti ni na zabi kalar da za'a yi. 

Bayan an kawo lefe ne kuma sai akayi fixing exact date din da za'ayi bikin, tunda da wata kawai aka saka. A ranar ne kuma na tabbatar da Hajiya bata son aurena da Umar dan kasa boyewa tayi ta kasa fitowa ta tari su Aunty da suka kawo lefe, sai gwoggo Habibah, Aunty Afia, kawayen Umma su biyu da matan abokan Abba su biyu ne suka karbi bakin, sai yan unguwa da suka shigo ciki har da babar Musa da ko a fuska bata nuna rashin jin dadin ta akan kin zaɓen Musa da nayi ba.

Washegarin ranar ne kuma da daddare muna tsakar gida tare da su yaya Tahir da sai a lokacin suke ganin kayan sai Mufida ta kirani a waya tace in tura mata number din Yaya Tahir zata turo masa wani video da suka hada mana ni da Umar. Na tura mata, babu jimawa kuwa ta turo masa. Video ne mai dauke da pictures dina da nasa da kuma pictures din mu tare da kuma picture din iv din daurin aure da ta biki wadanda bansan ma an bugo ba, sai kuma hoton akwatinan lefe na, tare da background music na wakar 

"Ko rana da wata sun daina haske, gimbiya ta sai ke, soyayyar mu har abada................"
(Ban iya rakar ba, kowa yayi da kansa. Lol"

Video din yayi kyau sosai kuma ya kayatar, a take yaya Tahir ya dora a social media kuma ya tutturawa yan'uwa da abokan arziki ya kuma tura wayar Umma itama, duk da dai ita ba social media din take ba.

A ranar sai na samu kaina da tafiya dakin mu da wayar Umma, ranar Umar bai kirani ba kuma ban damu ba saboda munyi waya da magrib kuma ya gaya min yana busy da dare, sai nayi amfani da wannan video din wajen debe wa kaina kewar sa, nayi playing and re playing yafi cikin carbi, kuncina har ciwo yake yi saboda murmushi. Ina jina kamar wadda tafi kowa sa'a a rayuwa, kamar wadda tafi kowa dace da saurayi kuma miji insha Allah. A haka bacci ya dauke ni bayan nayi running down battery din Umma. 

Kasancewar bani da tsarki a lokacin da kuma dadewar da nayi banyi bacci ba ya saka nayi dogon bacci har gari ya waye, cikin baccin ina ta mafarkin ana bikin mu da Umar kuma an gayyato hamisu breaker yana ta yi mana wakokin soyayya a wajen bikin. A cikin taron bikin ne naji muryar gwoggo Habibah tana kuka, sai kuma naji muryoyin Umma dana Hajiya suna ta magana sama sama amma wakokin da ake yi a gurin ya hana ni jin abinda suke cewa.

Maganganun nasu ne naji yayi karfi, ya wuce karar wakar har ya ratsa mafarkin da nake yi. Na farka a firgice ina salati tare da murza idona, babu Umar babu yan biki babu hamisu breaker amma still akwai muryar gwoggo Habibah kamar tana kuka kuma akwai muryoyin su Umma suna tambayar ta abinda ya faru. 

Na mike da sauri ina salati, Allah yasa ba wani abu ne ya samu wani a dangi ba, na tafi taga na leka sai na ga gwoggo a zaune a kafar benen Abba, su Umma kuma a tsatstsaye. "Habibah me yake faruwa? Wani abun ne ya samu wani a cikin yaran?" Inji Hajiya. 

Umma tace "kiyi magana gwaggon yara duk kin tashi hankalin mu" gwoggo Habibah ta ce "ina Yaya? Ina son ganin sa, wannan auren na Maijidda dole a fasa shi, wannan yaron da aka bata ba yaron arziki bane ba" sai naja da baya kadan, zuciya ta tana tambayar ƙwaƙwalwa ta "wacece Maijidda? Bani bace ba ko?" Amma kuma na san Maijidda daya ce a dangi, ni. 

Hajiya tace "haba? Yanzu naji magana, to alhamdulillah da aka sani tun yanzu tun kafin azo ayi dana sani. Ni dama tun farko yaron nan bai kwanta min a raina ba" Umma ta ja da baya kamar yadda nayi sannan tace "me kike cewa ne gwoggon yara? Waye ya gaya miki? Wani abun kika ga yayi ko kuma wani ne ya gani ya gaya miki ke kuma kike fada?"

 Gwoggo Habibah ta dago kai tace "ba gaya min akayi ba Aisha, ni ce nagani da kaina kuma na tabbatar" sai ta saka hannu a jakarta kamar mai neman wani abu yayin da mu kuma muke jira ta fito da evidence dinta na kiran Umar da mugun suna. Sai ta dauko wayar ta tayi danne danne sannan ta mika wa Umma "shine wannan ko?" Umma ta karba tana dubawa, Hajiya kuma ta matsa itama  tana lekawa yayinda ni kuma kunnuwa na suka jiyo min wakar video din dana yi bacci ina kalla.

Umma bata taba ganin Faruq ido da ido ba amma ta ga video din jiya dan haka tace "eh shine, me ya faru wai?" Gwoggo Habibah tace

 *"to saurayin Jamila ne, shine wanda Jamila zata aura"*

Gidan yayi shiru, komai ya tsaya including bugun zuciya ta, a kunnuwa na sai naji kamar har tik tok din agogon bangon dakin mu tsayawa yayi.

Umma tace "wacce Jamila kike magana gwaggon yara?" Gwoggo Habibah tace "wacce Jamila ce kuwa zata sakani tahowa gidan nan da sassafe kuma ta saka ni zubar hawaye banda Jamila taku ta waje na?" Hajiya tace "shi zata aura fa kika ce? To ita kuma Jidda fa?" 

Tace "shine abinda nazo a bincika aji, wacce yake so da gaske a cikin su? Wacce zai aura a cikin su? Kar mu bashi kofar da zai raba mana zumuncin mu dan na fahimci shi ba dan arziki bane ba" Umma tace "kiyi mana cikakken bayani dan Allah. Tun yaushe suke tare da Jamila? Kuma ma ai mu bamu san an bayar da Jamila ba. Menene gaskiyar lamari?" 

Tace "ba'a bashi ita ba saboda kunsan babansu sai sun gama degree yake yi musu aure, amma sama da shekara uku suke tare da ita tun kafin ya tafi India karo karatu, shi kuma yasa tayi masa alkawarin zata jira shi kuma ba zata kula kowa ba sai shi" ta share wasu hawayen. 

"Tunda tayi masa alkawarin nan shikenan ta daina kula kowa, bata da wani saurayi sai shi kuma ta gama yankewa in ance ta fito da miji shi zata fitar, jiya ma fa da daddare suna tare, kawai sai data dawo gida ta ga wannan video Tahir ya dora a matsayin mijin da Jidda zata aura"

 Naji duniya ta tana juyawa, numfashi na yana sama sama, zuciyata tana bugawa da karfi a kirjina iska tana kin shiga kofofin hancina, na tabbatar cewa attack zan samu, na dafe bango sannan na zame na zauna tare da rufe ido na amma kunnuwa na still suna jiyo min maganganun su Umma a tsakar gida.

"Amma dai wannan yaron ba mutumin kirki bane ba, dole kuwa a fasa auren nan dan ba zai zo ya raba zumunci a tsakanin yaran nan ba. Wata kila dama duk su biyun ba auren su zaiyi ba" Hajiya ta cigaba da sababi tana kokarin wuce gwoggo Habibah ta hau sama gurin Abba yayin da Umma ta samu guri akan baranda ta zauna tare da dafe kanta. 

Kafin Hajiya ta kai kashen stairs din Abba ya fito yana gyara babbar rigarsa, daga alama wani daurin auren zashi ko kuma wani guri mai muhimmanci. Bai kula da zancen da Hajiya ta tare shi da shi ba ya wuce ta ya sauko yana kallon Habibah. Ta mike tsaye "yaya, kaji abinda yaron nan yayi mana ko? Yaudarar yaran nan yake yi ashe, ya za'a yi ya hada su duk su biyu yace yana so kuma kowacce bata san da zaman kowacce a zuciyarsa ba. Wacce irin yaudara ce wannan. Jamila jiya yadda taga rana haka ta ga dare saboda takaicin abin nan kwana tayi tana kuka yanzu kafin in fito ma zazzaɓi ya rufe ta ruf kuma....." Ya daga mata hannu. 

"Duk naji maganar da kuke yi tun ina sama. Amma in tambaye ku, shin yaron nan ba namiji bane ba shi? Shin ba mata hudu aka halasta masa ya aura ba? A bayanin da kika yi na fahimci cewa shi yana son Jamila kuma yana so ya aure ta amma ku kunfi son boko akan aure sai kuka ce sai ta gama makaranta, shi kuma yana son aure yanzun, shine ya hadu da Jidda ba tare da ya san cewa yan'uwa bane ba har aka bashi ita kuma zai aure ta, watakila a ransa duk su biyun yake niyyar hadawa, watakila nufinsa in ya auri Jidda yanzu ita kuma Jamila in ta gama makaranta sai ya kara da ita, ni duk banga yaudara ko mugun hali a cikin wannan ba, ai ba sai lallai ya gayawa daya daga cikin su cewa akwai wata daban a cikin zuciyarsa ba ko dan gudun irin wannan halin naku na mata. Allah ya kyauta. Ni zan fita sai na dawo" daga haka ya saka kai ya fice.

Banji sauran maganganun da suka gudana a tsakar gidan ba saboda numfashi na da nake ta kokawa dashi. A idona ina hango fuskar yaya Jamila, kyakykyawa ce itama, ta fini ilimi ta fini shekaru ta fini wayewa, na tuno sanda muka je gidan su yadda take fita gurin saurayi da kuma yadda take kusan raba dare tana waya da saurayi. Was it Umar all along? Ni ba zanyi kishi da yaruwata ba, ni ba zanyi kishi da Jamila ba, dole Umar yazo ya zaba ko ni ko ita. 

Sai dai kuma wani barin na zuciyata yana tsoron kar ya zabe ta ya barni. Allah ne kadai yasan me zai faru dani idan hakan ta kasance.

"abinda zaka ce kenan yaya? Yanzu abinda zaka ce kenan? Shi ke nan yaci bulus yayi a banza? Ya yaudari yaya kuma ka bashi auren kanwarta? Ta yaya ma zaka ce zai hada su su biyu? In dai kuwa har ya auri Jidda ai ko maza sun kare a duniya ba zai auri Jamila ba wallahi tunda mu munsan zumunci mun san martabar yanuwan mu. Ba zan taba bari Jamila tayi kishi da yaruwarta ba....." 

Ta cigaba da bambami alhalin shi wanda take yi dan shi din ya jima da barin unguwar gabaki daya. Hajiya tana ta kara zuga ta ta sigar bada hakuri. "Kiyi hakuri gwoggon yara. Allah yasa hakan shine yafi alkhairi ga Jamila. Shi kuma tunda halin sa ne tabbas watarana asirin sa zai tonu. Shima kuma tunda ya goya masa baya shima watarana zai ji kunya ai. A juri zuwa rafi dai inji hausawa dan tabbas watarana za'a fasa tulu"

Duk abinda suke yi Umma tana tsaye kawai tayi tagumi da hannu daya, she seemed lost of words, ta rasa bayan wa zata goya ta kuma rasa me zata cewa Habiba. Sai gwoggo Habibah ta mike daga zaunen da take tana gyara mayafi ta tsaya a gabanta tace "ke macece Aisha, shi ba zai fahimta ba amma ke zaki fahimta tunda ance ciwon ya mace na ya mace ne. Kiyi iyakar kokarin ki kar ki bari ayi auren nan ba tare da an nuna masa kuskuren sa ba idan kuwa ba'a yi haka ba to tabbas Allah kadai yasan abinda zai cigaba da aikatawa nan gaba, tunda bashi da kunya bayan auren ma zai iya dawowa yace zai auri Jamilar, wannan kuma zai iya zama sanadiyyar lalacewar zumunci tsakanin yayan mu. Kar ki bari hakan ta faru. Bance kar ayi auren nan ba amma kafin ayi aja masa kunne a nuna masa yayi ba dai dai ba. In kuma ba haka ba tabbas za'a yi nadama nan gaba"

Sai ta sake ta ta fita da sauri tana hada hanya, Hajiya kuma ta bita a baya tana sambatun ban hakuri. Suna fita Farhan wadda duk abinda ake yi tana labe a falon Hajiya inda ta tafi da sassafe dan kallon wani series movie da take gani, ta fito da sauri ta taho dakin da nake dan tasan ina bukatar kafadar da zan dora kaina a kai inyi kuka. Sai dai abinda ta gani data shigo dakin shi ya mantar da ita duk maganganun da taji anayi a tsakar gidan. Ina zaune baya na a jingine da jikin bango ina ta kokawar shigar da iska cikin hunhu na. Na hada gumi kashirban.

Ta karaso inda nake da sassarfa tana tayani dafa kirjina da nake jin sa kamar a kan garwashin wuta sannan ta kwalla kira "Umma!" Urgency din kiran ya saka Umma ta shigo dakin kusan a guje, "Jidda!" Ta fada tana durkusa wa a gaba na itama sannan kuma sai ta mike da sauri ta kuma fita daga dakin, daga dukkan alama inhaler ta ta tafi dauko min. Sai dai ni kaina bansan inda take ba dan na dade rabon da in samu attack kamar na yau, har na fara tunanin ma na rabu da asthma. 

Farhan ta saka hannu tana share min gumin da ya hadu da hawaye ya wanke min fuskata. "Breath Jidda. Ki kwantar da hankalin ki don't panic just breath" na girgiza mata kai da sauri dan dan karfin da nake dashi ya kusa karewa amma har yanzu na kasa kai iska hunhu na. Ta juya tana kallon kofa "Umma!" Ta sake kira, as if kiran shi zai saka ta ga abinda take nema. 

Sai kuma naga ta sake ni ta hau kan katifar da muka kwana da sauri tana hargitsa shimfidar, can sai gata da waya ta a hannun ta, na fahimci abinda take son yi, Umar take son ta kira, nayi kokarin girgiza mata kai dan har zuciya ta bana bukatar taimakon sa, tun ina yarinya nake asthma kuma nake samun sauki ba tare da shi ba kuma yanzu ma haka zanyi in gama.

Ta dawo inda nake kwance da sauri ta kama ni ta mikar da ni zaune sosai tana kokarin kirkirar murmushi "babu komai Jidda, ki kwantar da hankalin ki babu abinda zai faru misunderstanding kawai aka samu am sure misunderstanding ne. Just breath please" na rufe ido na ina gaya wa kaina cewa misunderstanding ne, maybe ba Umar dina bane ba, maybe mai kama da shine, ai akwai masu kama iri daya a duniya right? Musamman tunda ba ido da ido suka ganshi ba a video ne. 

Ina jinta ta saka hannu cikin rigar bacci na tana balle min bra dan ta kara taimaka min wajen numfashi, na jingina kaina a kafadarta ina jin numfashin yana fara shiga hunhu na.

A lokacin ne Umma ta shigo dakin da sauri hannunta rike da blue inhaler ta, ta dago kai na tare da saka min ita a baki sannan ta matsa sau biyu. Na mayar da ido na na rufe ina jin sanyinta a makogwarona zuwa kirjina kuma ina jin airways dina suna clearing numfashi na yana kuma daidaita. 

*Saurayin Jamila ne, shine wanda zata aura* na tuna da maganar gwoggo Habibah.

Na dago kai ina kallon Umma, hawaye yana bin idona nace "Umma wai da gaske ne? Da gaske  Umar ne saurayin yaya Jamila?" Ta zauna a kusa dani tare da kara mika min inhaler ta, na dauke kai gefe ina so inji ta gaya min cewa ba haka maganar take ba ji ne banyi dai dai ba. "Ki nutsu ki mayar da hankalin ki guri daya, ki kwantar da hankalin ki ki dawo da lafiyar ki jikinki kafin kiyi kokarin neman sanin wani abu da ba zai amfane ki da komai ba" na mayar da kaina kafadar Farhan, bansan me Umma take nufi da maganar da ba zata amfane ni da komai ba a yayin da ake magana akan mijin da zan aura, wanda nake da niyyar spending the rest of my life with, wanda nake saka ran zai zama uban yaya na. Shin bani da right din sanin komai a kansa? 

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*Episode Eleven: The Denial*



Wahalar da nasha a attack din dana samu yayi exhausting dukkan karfi na, hakan yasa duk da halin da zuciyata take ciki sai da bacci mai nauyi ya dauke ni a jikin Farhan. 

Sanda na tashi ni kadai na ganni a dakin, daga alama rana ta fito sosai

Na mike zaune nayi salati tare da dafe goshina, ko kadan ban manta abinda ya faru ba duk da cewa ganin shi nake yi kamar a mafarki, ina tunawa da yadda Abba yayi biris da maganar yayi kamar ba wani abin da za'a yi doguwar magana bane ba a kansa, na kuma tuna da hukuncin da ya yanke a karshe, wai Umar zai iya auren mu mu biyu ni da yaya Jamila in dai yana son haka shi bashi da problem. Na mike tsaye da sauri dan tabbas ni ina da problem da haka.

A palon Umma na same ta a zaune da kayan abinci a gabanta, daga dukkan alama bata dade da gama breakfast ba, babu kowa a tare da ita dan nasan Amira tana school. Na zauna a gefenta cikin matsanancin sanyin jiki, ta bini da kallo har na zauna sannan tace "ya jikin?"

Na gyada kai kawai ina jin babu isasshen yawu a bakina balle in amsa mata, ta dauko flask din gabanta ta zuba min kunu sannan ta miko min "ungo ki sha" na karba na ajiye a gabana ina zagaya dan yatsa na a rim din kofin sai ta fara magana 

"Nasan kinji maganar da gwoggon ku tazo da ita, farko ni ma kamar yadda hankalin ki ya tashi haka nawa hankalin ya tashi akan maganar amma kuma da baban ku ya sauko ya yi magana sai naji hankali na ya kwanta" na dago kai da sauri ina kallon ta sai tace "ba wai na yarda da maganar sa bane ba ko ina goyon bayan abinda yace ba a'a ina nufin na fahimci abinda ya faru.

"Jidda ke yarinya ce amma duk da haka nasan zaki fahimci cewa namiji ba mijin mace daya bane ba, da wahala ki ga saurayin da yake da budurwa daya, bance ba'a samu ba amma da wahala, haka zalika shima mai auren da wahala ki ga wanda bashi da wata budurwar kuma, haka Allah ya halicce su shi yasa ya basu damar auren mata har hudu in dai zasu iya"

"ba abin mamaki bane dan Umar yana soyayya da ke kuma da Jamila a tare, watakila nufin sa ya aure ta bayan ya aure ki, kuma ba zamu ce yana da laifi ba akan hakan tunda addini ya bashi dama, amma abinda nafi tunani nima kamar babanki shine bai san dangantakar da take tsakanin ku ba, bai ma san kunsan juna ba. Sai dai abinda ban yarda dashi ba a maganar babanku ita ce na cewa zai iya hada ku, kamar yadda Habibah tace ba zata bar hakan ta faru ba ni ma ba zan bar hakan ta faru ba dan tabbas zai iya raba zumunci a tsakanin ku"

"Dan haka yanzu tunda Allah yasa lokaci bai kure ba sai mu dauki mataki, ki dauki waya ki kira shi kice kina son ganinsa, in yazo ki tambayeshi game da Jamila ki kuma fada masa dangantakar da take tsakanin ku sannan ki tabbatar masa da cewa ba zaku zauna kishi ba, ki bashi dama ya zaba ko ita ko ke. Idan  ke ya zaba to ki tabbatar masa cewa iyayen Jamila ba zasu bashi ita ba indai ya aure ki, tsakanin sa da ita sai dai mutunci a matsayin ta na yaruwarki. Idan kuma ita ya zaba to ya janye maganar aurenki ya kuma aiko a karbar masa kudinsa da sauran kayansa, ke kuma Allah ya baki wanda ya fishi alkhairi".

Na gyada kai na da sauri ina yadda da hukuncin ta, amma kuma wani bangare na zuciyata yana cike da tsoro "what if ya zabe ta? Zan iya rayuwa babu shi anya kuwa?"

Na mike da wayata a hannu, sai Umma ta dakatar dani tare da nuna min kunun data zuba min, na zauna na shanye ina bata fuska kamar mai shan magani, ina gamawa na dauki waya ta na koma dakin mu. Missed calls din Umar na gani har guda biyar a dai dai time din daya saba kira na kullum dan yaji yadda na kwana. 

Nayi dialing number din sannan na saka a kunne na. Seconds biyu ya dauka 

"Hey Baby"

Na lumshe ido na na bude ina jin muryar sa tana taba zuciyata. "Hi" na fada da muryar da naji kamar ba tawa ba.

 "What's up Baby. Naji muryar ki wani iri ko yanzu kika tashi daga bacci?" Na girgiza kaina kamar yana kallo na ina jin hawaye yana kawowa ido na, nayi kokarin boye emotions dina nace "lafiya lau. Kana ina?" Yace "ina office, nayi ta kira dazu ai kina ta bacci ko? Are you sure you are okay?" Nace "ina so ne in ganka yanzu, if you are free, akwai maganar da nake so muyi" ya danyi shiru sannan yace 

"Baby, is everything okay?" 

Sanyin da yayi min maganar da shi ne ya saka hawayen da nake rikewa suka zubo, can he really do it? Yana dating dina yana dating wata kuma daban? Ko da bai san yaruwata bace ba amma still....... 

"Lafiya lau. Kazo kawai zamuyi maganar in kazo"   "are you crying?" Ya tambaya, sai naji hawayen ya sake ballewa "oh my God, gani nan zuwa yanzu. I am about to go into surgery but zan ajiye yanzu in taho...." Na katse shi "no.. lafiyar patients dinka tafi duk wata maganar da zamuyi, ka gama kawai sai kazo" yace "wa? Ba dai ni Umar din ba, Jidda tana kuka kuma zan iya surgery? Ai tabbas zanyi barna ne a ciki. Ba emergency bane ba scheduled cs ne, zata iya jira inzo in ganki in dawo ko kuma wani doctor din yayi taking over amma ni ba zan iya ba Baby, not when you are crying" 

Sai ya kashe wayar, na dora ta akan kirjina ina jin bugun zuciya ta yana vibrating a jikin wayar "can he really do it?" "Will he chose me?" Na tuna Yaya Jamila, zuciya ta tana lissafo min yawan abubuwan da ta fini, kusan ta fini komai da wayayyen hadadden namiji kamar Umar zai so a gurin matarsa. 

Na tuna da wayar da take  raba dare tana yi sanda muka je gidan su, da wa take waya? Umar?

Ina nan a zaune Farhan ta shigo dakin, ta zauna tana ta yi min labarin abokin mijin yaya Hudallah da take kokarin hada su "kinga katon cikin sa kuwa?" Ta fada tana dariya, daga dukkan alamu so take ta saka ni dariya amma ganin bani da niyyar yi sai ta fita ta bani guri. 

Bata jima da fita ba ya kirani "ina waje" ban amsa ba na kashe wayar sannan na tashi na wanke fuskata a tsakar gida sannan naje dakin Umma na saka kwalli, bana so yasan how much nayi kuka a kansa. Amma gyaran fuskata bai yi komai ba wajen gyara zuciyata, dan a tsorace take sosai, ko wannan ne zai zamo gani na karshe da zanyi masa? Menene makoma ta idan na rasa Faruq? Har na fito daga dakin kuma sai na koma na dauko wayar Umma na fito da ita a hannu na.

Yana mota bai fito ba, har na fito daga cikin gidan bai fito ba nasan kuma hakan yana da alaka da saurin da yake yi dan lokuta da dama in yana sauri yakan zauna ne a mota. 

Na zagaya na bude kusa da shi na zauna. Yana sanye da kayansu na doctors, wannan ita ce ranar dana fara ganinsa da kayan kuma sai naga kamar sunfi yi masa kyau akan kowane kaya, sai naga kamar yafi yi min kyau akan kullum. 

But he looked worried.

"My God! Da gaske kuka kike yi Jidda" na girgiza kaina, trying so hard not to continue crying. Sai na dauko wayar Umma na bude sannan na nemo hoton Yaya Jamila na nuna masa direct nace

 "ka san wannan?" 

Na lura da yadda yanayin sa ya chanja a lokaci daya, sai kuma naga ya dawo dai dai sannan ya karbi wayar daga hannuna yana kara kallon ta kamar mai tunani sai yace "Jamila ko? Jamila something......na manta second name dinta" sai ya miko min wayar "a ina kika santa?" Na karba still ina kallon yadda yaki hada ido dani yana kallon waje, duk damuwa da seriousness din fuskarsa sun tafi, he looked uninterested"

"menene a tsakanin ka da ita?" Na sake tambayarsa. Ya juyo yana kallo na kamar mai mamakin tambayar sannan yace "wai wannan yarinyar? Ni kuwa menene hadi na da ita? Wani abun aka gaya miki? Is that the reason da kike kuka?" Nace "I will be the one asking the questions, and you will be the one answering" sai ya sara min kamar yadda ake yi wa masu khaki yace "yes ma" na lura gabakidaya ya mayar d maganar wasa.

Nace "menene tsakanin ka da ita?" Yace "nothing really, na santa a buk tun kafin in fita India, she is a friend of girlfriend din Bashir ta lokacin, so in na raka shi gurinta muna haduwa kuma most of the times in zai fita da ita suna tare kuma nima ina tare da shi. So bayan sun rabu ma muna dan gaisawa haka in mun hadu, shikenan...... please ki gaya min mai ya faru?" 

Na ajiye wayar a tsakanin mu ina kallon gaba na, trying to think using my head but my heart is already jumping with joy cewa ba wai yana son Jamila bane ba, it was a misunderstanding.....

"Yayata ce" na fada "yar gwoggo Habibah ce...ita ce autarta" ya kalle ni "really? What a small world. Amma menene ya saka ki kuka a cikin maganar? Oh sorry ma, ashe fa kece mai yin tambaya ni mai amsawa" yayi dariya, shi bashi da wani problem.

"Dazu gwoggo Habibah tazo gidan mu da sassafe........." Sai na bashi labarin abinda ta fada na daga dangantakar da tace akwai a tsakanin sa da Jamila. Amma ban fada masa abinda Abba yace akan maganar ba.   

Anan ne naga hankalin sa ya tashi "ya salam...... wannan yarinyar sharrin da zata yi min kenan? Yaushe ne muka yi haka da ita..." Na bishi da kallo kawai "ta cuce ni amma wallahi shikenan ta bata min suna a gidan ku" sai yayi kamar zai riko fuska ta sai kuma ya dauke hannun sa yana yarfarwa a gefe "na shiga uku. Wallahi Jidda karya take yi min babu wani abu mai shigen kama da wannan a tsakani na da yarinyar nan, ni ban taba cewa ina sonta ba ballantana har in yi mata alkawarin aure. My God!" Ya fada yana shafa gashin kansa 

"Look Jidda, Wallahi karya take min. Look, ban damu da wasu su yarda ko kar su yarda da abinda nake cewa ba, but Please ki gaya min cewa ke baki yarda ba. You think zan yi miki haka? Bayan na same ki kuma Jidda mai zanyi da wata mace kuma?" 

Na dauke kaina gefe a kokari nana kara jan zaren aji na, "tace jiya ma kuna tare" ya danyi frowning fuskarsa sannan yace "jiya? Jiya naje dinner ne ta bikin wani friend dinmu" sai kuma yace "ohh I remember seeing her there, sunje a matsayin kawayen amarya mun gaisa haka briefly but it doesn't mean muna tare as in kamar naje 'zance' gurinta" yadda ya fadi zancen kamar wani abun kyama. 

Nayi shiru ina assessing maganar sa, ido na akan band dina da yake hannunsa. Ya sake cewa "idan baki yarda ba bara in kira Bashir, zai fada miki komai....." Na girgiza kaina "no need" ya dauko wayarsa tare da cewa "I insist. Bana son ko trace na wani abu mai kama da wannan ya shiga tsakanin mu" yayi dialing number sannan ta saka a handsfree tare da dora ta akan dashboard. 

Ina jin Bashir ya dauka "hey namiji" yace "hey Bash. You are on speaker. Ina tare da baby na ne kuma ina bukatar taimakon ka. Please help me clear something out. Ka tuna yarinyar nan Jamila kawar Nafisa ta ka?" Yace "yeah. Na tuna Jamila, me ya faru" sai ya fada masa abinda na gaya masa a game da Jamila

Bashi yace "look Jidda,ba tun yau ba na gaya miki cewa guy din nan ya sace zuciyar yammata da yawa, amma tasa zuciyar ke kadai kike da mallakin ta, and it happens that Jamila is just one of those girls. Guy ka manta na taba gaya maka yarinyar nan kamar she is into you kace min ba haka bane ba?" Umar yace "yeah, anyi haka, da nasan zata bata ran baby na dana tare ta a hanya na kora mata jawabi tun a lokacin" 

Bashir ya cigaba "to kinji, babu wani abu mai kama da wannan a tsakanin su. Ke kadai ke da zuciyar Umar. My guess is tana sonsa sai kuma ta ganshi a matsayin wanda zaki aura and she wants to break you guys up dan ta gwada tata sa'ar. Wannan shine gaskiya"

Ya dauki wayar ya saka a kunnen sa "thank you bro, I really appreciate this" sai kuma ya kashe ya mayar da ita aljihunsa ya juyo yana kallo na "I really hope kin yarda da magana ta yanzu, I also really really hope zaki yi dropping maganar nan and we will never discuss it again. Jamila ba budurwa ta bace ba, I don't and I will not love her talk less of marry her. Ni saurayin mace daya ne, kuma mijin mace daya, sunanta Hauwa'u Maijidda" ya karasa yana murmushi, nima na sunkuyar da kai na kasa ina taya shi murmushin a raina ina jin dadin yadda maganar ta warware ba tare da tayi affecting tsakani na da shi ba. 

Tabbas biri yayi kama da mutum, yadda Jamila take da rashin kamun kai zata iya shirya sharri dan ta samu wanda take so, kuma na san gwoggo Habibah bata san fuskar samarin Jamila ba ballantana ta gane ko akwai Umar di na a ciki ko babu. 

"Jidda" ya ambaci sunana, na dago ina kallon sa amma ban amsa ba sai yace "wannan ne misunderstanding da muka samu na farko, kuma am sure ba zai zama na karshe ba tunda aure zamuyi kuma shi aure akwai challenges da yawa irin wadannan a cikin sa. Sai dai abinda nake so dake shine ki saka a ranki Umar naki ne ke kadai, duk wata wadda zata yi kokarin saka doubt a zuciyarki ki karyata ta, dan ni bayan wadannan relationships din guda biyu da na fada miki ban taba zuwa wajen wata da niyyar ina sonta ba ballantana har ta kaimu ga maganar aure"

"Sai dai wadansu mata suna misunderstanding maza iri na. Ni ina da faran faran da mutane, in naga lady ina treating dinta as a gentleman should, misali sakin fuska gurin amsa gaisuwa, getting a seat for her, ko offering a helping hand when needed, su kuma wasu matan sai su dauka wannan soyayya ce, sai su fara tagging kansu as 'budurwa ta' when ni kuma babu wannan maganar a raina"

"Sai magana ta tashi kuma nace ba haka bane ba sai a fara fadar maganganu. I have been tagged as 'mayaudari' several times. Wannan shine dalilin da yasa Mama tayi kokarin hada ni da cousin din nan tawa da nayi miki bayani kwanan baya. Ladies need to understand that if a guy loves you he will say it out. Mu ba mata bane da zamuyi ta boye boye waiting for the other one to say it first. A guy smiling at you doesn't mean a guy is in love with you"

"Dan haka please, ko nan gaba ko bayan bikin mu in wata ta gaya miki magana irin wannan please kar ki tayar min da hankalin ki har kiyi min asarar hawayenki a banza, ki dauka kawai direct cewa karya take yi. Ni Umar mijin JIDDA ne ita kadai babu kari"

Nayi murmushi ina jin dadin maganar sa amma sai na girgiza kaina nace "dadin baki ko? Zaka yi min dadin baki ko? Umma ta gaya min ai ku maza are polygamist in nature, dan haka Umar is free yayi adding second, third and fourth wife after Jidda duk da dai hakan ba zai yiwa Jidda dadi ba amma zata yi accepting" 

Yace "wai kina nufin Umma tayi comment akan maganar nan?" Nace "eh mana, ita ce ma ai ta saka na kira ka, tace in gaya maka ka zaba tun yanzu ko ni ko Yaya Jamila dan ba zanyi kishi da yaruwa ta ba" ya dan daki stirring "damn it, wannan yarinyar ta cuce ni ta bata min suna a gurin su Umma" nace "kar ka damu, zata fahimta in nayi mata bayani. Yanzu bara in barka ka koma gurin patient dinka" ya shafa kai yana dan murmushi "ni har na manta ma da zancen wani aiki, ni na manta ma ashe ni doctor ne, sunana ma kadan ne ya rage ban manta ba" ya karasa yana dariya, nima sai na taya shi dariyar and Jamila and all her problems went away with our laughter.

Bayan na koma gida na tarar da Umma a falo tana jirana, na zauna da sauran murmushi a fuska ta and I saw her relaxed, kamar hankalin ta ya dan kwanta kadan, tace "to ya kuka yi dashi?" Sai na bata labarin yadda mukayi, "yace shi ya dai santa a matsayin kawar budurwar abokinsa amma bai taba cewa yana sonta ba ballantana har suyi maganar aure" ta danyi shiru tana tunani sannan tace "to shi kenan, Allah ya kade fitina ya tabbatar mana da alkhairi" nace "ameen" amma sai na cigaba da kallonta ina lura da yadda kamar bata gamsu da maganar ba sai dai kuma bata sake cewa komai ba. 

Da yamma na bawa Farhan labarin yadda muka yi da Umar, amma sai naga bata yi looking happy for me haka ba, na tambayeta "baki yarda da abinda yace min ba?" Ta girgiza kai "maganar yace sharri tayi masa ma bai taso ba, me zata yi gaining in tayi masa sharri? In dai da gaske babu komai a tsakanin su mai zata yi gaining in tayi masa sharri? Tunda ko ya rabu da ke ba zai aureta ba tunda babu wani abu a tsakanin su sai ma bata kanta da zata yi a gurinsa"

Nayi shiru ina jinta, ina jin haushin yadda take saka doubt a zuciyata a game da shi, nace "kina nufin karya yake yi kenan? Ke me yasa komai Umar zaiyi ba kya taba ganin farinsa kullum bakikkirin kike ganin sa?" Tace "tunda kanwarsa uwa daya uba daya ta kira shi da mayaudari who am I to argue with her?" Naji haushin me yasa na bata labarin maganar Mufida a kan sa, na bata rai nace "kina nufin yaudara ta yake yi kenan" ta girgiza kai "ko kadan bana doubting son da Umar yake yi miki, da gaske yana sonki kuma da gaske auren ki zaiyi, amma wannan bai goge masa wancan sunan a gurin sauran mata ba"

Ta cigaba "abinda na fahimta shine akwai wani abu a tsakanin su, ita ta dauka sonta yake da gaske kamar yadda ita din take sonsa da gaske, amma shi ba da gaske yake sonta ba yaudarar ta yake yi, bai san da alaka a tsakanin ku ba dan haka baiyi tunanin asirin sa zai tonu ba, my guess is daga yau ba zai kara kulata ba zaiyi acting as if abinda ya fada gaskiya ne, as if babu wani abu a tsakanin su" 

Na mike ina karkade rigata "kanki ake ji wai mahaukaci ya fada rijiya, yace kanku akeji ni wanka na nake yi" tayi murmushin takaici "Umar dan yaudara ne Jidda, the earlier you get that into your thick skull the better for you" na fita daga dakin ba tare da na bata amsa ba. Sai kuma selfish zuciya ta take gaya min "in ma dan yaudarar ne tunda bani ya yaudara ba ina ruwana? How can that affect relationship dina da shi?".

What a selfish heart

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*Episode Twelve : A Blessing or a Curse*

Rayuwa ta cigaba kamar ba ayi komai ba, Umma bata kuma ta yar min da maganar Jamila ba haka ma Farhan tunda ta ga bana so bata kuma yi min maganar ba, tsakani na da Umar ma ko sunanta bamu kuma ambata ba sai ma wani shafin na soyayya da mu ka sake budewa. Mutum daya da take maganar ita ce Hajiya. Ita kuma a nata bangaren tana kokarin tabbatar wa cewa duk wamda yake family din mu ya san maganar Umar da Jamila. Haka kawai in tayi niyya sai ta fito tsakar gida ta saka kujera ta zauna ta dauko wayarta tana ta kiran yayanta suna maganar suna dariya. Raina ya kan baci in tana yin haka amma ban taba tanka mata ba kamar yadda nake yi kullum ba dan halin ta ba ko dan tsakani na da Farhan.

Abu daya da ya chanja shine gwoggo Habibah da yayanta kaf sun janye jikinsu daga gidan mu, sun kuma janye daga duk shirye shiryen bikina bayan an saba duk bikin da za'a yi a gidan mu tare da su ake yin komai. Umma tayi kokari gurin rarrashin gwoggo akan tayi hakuri ta manta da maganar amma taki tace ita ba wai auren ne bata son ayi ba, taso ne dai Abba yayi wa Umar fada ya nuna masa bai kyauta ba kafin ya bashi ni din. Tunda akayi abin bamu hadu da yaya Jamila ba, amma naji ance wai duk ta chanja tayi wani iri har makaranta ta daina zuwa, duk da ban tabbatar hakan ko gaskiya bane ba ko kuma exaggeration ne irin na Hajiya. 

Mu kam shirin bikin mu muke tayi, Mufida da Farhan ne suka fitarda anko na kawaye kuma sune suka gayyaci duk kawayen mu na school da na unguwa da kuma dangi. Umar ma kuma ya kammala duk shirye shiryen sa, ya gyara gidan sa dai dai da yadda yayi suiting taste din mu ni da shi. Sannan muka tsara duk yadda muke so bikin ya kasance. Umar ya saka a saka daurin aure ranar Friday "saboda albarkar ranar so nake ta bi auren mu ni da ke har abada".

Allah ya dora Umma akan Abba biki saura sati uku ya bar ni na tafi gidan Aunty Afia na zauna a can, ita kuma ta bude min sababbin lessons take dora min kullum akan aure da duk abinda ya kunsa. 

"Shi aure da kike ganin sa Jidda hakuri ne yake rike shi. Duk matar da kika gani a gidan mijinta to zaman hakuri take yi da shi haka zalika shima mijin hakuri yake yi da ita. Shi kuma namiji da kika ganshi to tamkar sarki yake a gidan sa, babu abinda namiji yafi so fiye da komai a gurin matarsa irin ladabi da biyayya. Wannan girman da Allah ya dora musu to har a cikin halittar su haka suke, su dai suna son ayi musu ladabi kuma babu abinda suka tsana irin a raina su. Komai son da mijinki yake miki idan raini ya shiga tsakanin ku sai kin fita daga ransa. Duk abinda yace miki kar kiyi masa musu ki bishi a haka in yaso daga baya a hankali cikin dabara sai kiyi masa bayanin yadda kike so bawai ki nuna masa ke lallai ba zaki yi abinda yace ba ke abinda kike so zaki yi"

"Ki zamanto mai rike sirrin mijinki ba mai kwakwazo da yada duk abinda yafaru tsakanin ku a idon duniya ba, musamman a gurin kawaye ko yanuwansa ko naki. Kar kuma kike nuna kwadayin abin hannunsa, in ya baki ki karba ko mai kankantar sa kiyi masa godiya in kuma bai baki ba sai ki hakura, kar ki yarda kike rokonsa abun duniya sai lallai abinda yake hakkinki ne yayi maki kamar ci da shada sutura, suma kuma kinsan dai dai aljihunsa kar ki dira masa abinda yafi karfinsa. Ballantana ma ke tunda ya samo miki makaranta kuma muna saka ran zai barki kiyi aiki, sannan aikin health albashin su mai kyau ne dan haka zaki ke daukewa kanki wasu yan tsarabe tsaraben na mata ba sai ma ya sani ba"

"Kar kuma ki dora wa kanki mugun kishi akan mijinki ki ce ke lallai dake kadai zai zauna ba zai kara aure ba, in yanason karawa ki barshi ya kara din in dai har je ya sauke miki naki hakkin da yake kansa shikenan. Kema kuma sai kiyi kokarin ganin kin sauke nasa hakkin da yake kanki wajen kula da tsaftarsa data gidan sa, kula da abincinsa, kare mutuncin kia cikin gida a makaranta da kuma wajen aikin ki, sannan da tabbatar da kin biya masa bukatar sa a kan gado" 

Na rufe fuska ina jin kunya sai tayi dariya "to au wannan shine yafi komai muhimmanci a aure, na saka shi a karshe ne saboda ina son inyi miki bayani sosai a kansa. Kinga mazan nan? To da yawa daga cikin su babu abinda suke girmama wa a cikin aure kamar wannan abin, duk da dai halitta halitta ce. Wani yana da bukata sosai wani saffa saffa wani kuma bai ma damu da abin ba, amma majority sun damu da abin. Kuma kinsan babban sirrin abin?"

Na girgiza kai na tace "tsafta. Kar ki yarda ko da wasa mijinki yazo kusa da ke yaji wani wari ko wani karni. Ko mai son kusantarki da yake yi wannan warin zai gusar masa da sha'awar ki, kullum ki kasance cikin kamshi, ki samu kiyi hadin turare ya zamanto koda yaushe shi kike anfani dashi yadda zai kasance kamar wata signature dinki, a gurinki kadai zai zo yaji irin wannan kamshin musamman in kika hada din kika ji ya yaba to sai ki cigaba, wannan zai sa ya kara manne miki dan wani kawai zai zo kusa dake dan yaji kamshin ki hankalin sa ya kwanta"

"Sirri na biyu shine rashin nuna gazawa, kar mijinki yana kusantarki ki nuna masa kin gaji ko kiyi ta korafin ke ya takura miki ko something like that, ko yana tabaki kina ture shi, wannan shima zai cire mishi son abin daga zuciyarsa ko yana so din sai ya kasa nema tunda yana tsoron yadda zakiyi reacting. In ya nema ki bashi tunda hakkin shi ne, in bai nema bama in ke kina so sai ki nema kema tunda kema hakkin ki ne. Wannan shi ya kawo mu kan sirri na uku wanda shine kunya"

"Kunya ado ne mai kyau a gurin mace, kuma maza da yawa suna son mace mai kunya amma a wajen bedroom, in aka shiga daga ciki maza da yawa sunfi son macen da zata nuna sanda aka raba kunya ita bacci take yi a lokacin. Babu wani shamaki a tsakanin miji da matarsa, abinda kawai addini ya saka iyaka akai shine saduwa yayin da mace bata da tsarki da kuma saduwa da mace ta dubura, banda wannan komai zasu iya, komai. Wannan ne kuma ya dawo damu kan abu na farko da muka yi Magana akan sa, tsafta. In babu tsafta ko kuna son yin wasu abubuwan na ma'aurata ba zaku iya ba saboda kazanta. In kin cire kunyar ki a bedroom sa ki mayar da ita idan kun shiga mutane, wannan zai kara daga darajar ki a idon sa"

"Generally maza sunfi mata karfin sha'awa, a yanzu baki san yanayin mijinki ba sai kinje tukunna, duk da dai yawanci farkon auren nan da masu ƙarfin sha'awar da marasa karfin sha'awa duk suna yin na dokin nan, sai dai daga baya kuma a hankali zaki gane yanayin sa, idan ya fiki karfin sha'awa shine zaki bukaci supplements da zasu kara miki taki yadda zaki iya daukan nauyin mijinki, idan kuma ƙarfin sha'awar ku yazo dai dai to ba kya bukatar supplements, abunda kike bukata kawai shine cima mai kyau musamman fruits, shan isashshen ruwa da kuma hutu na jiki dana zuciya wanda zai saka mind dinki akan son abin"

"A yanzu ma dole zamuyi miki shiri sosai na taryar mijinki, a matsayin ki na budurwa ba kya bukatar kayan matsi sai dai na karin ni'ima kafin kuma in kinje kun fahimci juna ke da mijinki sai ki san wanne zaki cigaba da sha wanne ne kuma zaki daina. Amma dai koma menene ina kara tuna miki cewa wannan abin shine kusan rabin auren"

Daga nan sai ta fara loda min kaya, wadansu ta bani ta saka in yi amfani da su a lokacin wasu kuma sai dai tayi min bayanin yadda zanyi amfani da su tace in ajiye sai bayan biki tukunna. Tun ina jin kunyar ta in tana yi min wasu maganganu har na zo na saba na daina jin kunya sai dai in saurara amma dai bana iya bata amsa sai dai in bi umarnin ta kawai. 

Tun kafin muyi nisa na fara fahimtar magungunan ta sun fara aiki a jikina, dan haka kawai in ina zaune sai inji ni a jike kamar wadda ta fara period sai na duba sai inga ba ita bace ba, haka zanyi ta faman saka pant ina chanjawa. 

Tunda na taho gidan Aunty sai Umar ya mayar da gidan gurin zuwansa, babu wanda bai san shi a gidan ba a cikin yan kwanakin da nayi ya siye kowa da kyauta da kuma kyautatawa, hatta Alhaji sai da naji yayi comment akan Umar kuma ya nuna yayi masa. Kowa ya zauna dashi kuma sai ya fahimci yana sona sosai kuma sai yayi min murnar samun miji kamar shi. A haka gar satin biki ya kama.

Ranar Wednesday za'a fara bikin, za'a fara ne da ƙunshi wanda aka tsara za'a yi anan gidan Aunty, sai kuma kamu ranar Thursday a gidan gwoggo Habibah, wanda Umma ce ta matsa ayi hakan duk a kokarin ta na ganin an daidaita, da dare kuma za'a yi kamun ango a can gidan su. Friday daurin aure bayan sallar juma'a a masallacin juma'a na unguwar mu, a ranar kuma gidan maza zasuyi yinin su, da dare kuma ayi dinner. Saturday muma zamuyi namu yinin anan gidan mu sannan da magrib a kai amarya Jidda gidan angonta umar.

Tun ranar monday Farhan ta zo muka tafi saloon akayi min gyaran jiki, halawa da dilka, kyakykyawar fata ta ta sake yin luwai luwai, aka kuma gyara min gashina sannan aka min manicure da pedicure. Farhan ma anyi mata wannan, wanda duk daga aljihun Umar kudin ya fito dan shi yazo har gidan Aunty ya dauke mu ya kaimu kuma da muka gama muka kira shi yazo ya mayar damu gida. Kuma tun daga can yake ta yaba gyaran jikina duk kuwa da cewa na saka dogon hijab na rufe jikina amma haka yayi ta tsokana ta wai shima zai je ayi masa dan yayi min gayu irin wanda nake yi masa. Farhan tana ta kara zuga shi wai dan ma baiga yadda fata ta tayi kyau ba. 


Washegari yazo ya kawo min dinkunan da zanyi amfani dasu da bikin, wanda duk shi ya kai mana dinkuna tare ni da shi na dukkan events din da za'a yi. Tare da Aira muka fito, niyya ta mu karba kawai mu koma ciki amma ya langwabe min lallai sai na shiga motarsa munyi magana. Na bawa Aira kayan ta shiga dasu ciki sannan na shiga na zauna ya tsare ni da ido "duk wani kyau kike tayi wallahi, ko duk amarcin ne haka" nayi murmushi kaima ai kana kara kyau sosai, gashi nan kaje kayi gyaran fuska" ya shafa fuskar sa "am glad you noticed. Ni ban taba jin kin yaba ni ba, I always thought bana burgeki ma ni kwatakwata" 

Nace "inji wa? Ni dai bani na gaya maka haka ba" ya rage murya "to tell me otherwise. Ki sanar da ni kina sona ko ki gaya min ina da kyau ko ina burge ki ko wani abu mai dadi haka" na sunkuyar da kai "zan fada maka, amma ba yanzu ba" yace "sai yaushe? Sai kin kawo min ziyara?" Ya fada yana kashe min ido Nace "wacce ziyarar kake magana akai?" Yace "wacce kike kawo min kullum cikin bacci na, ko baki san duk dare sai nayi mafarkin ki ba" na bude ido "mafarki na kuma? To me nake yi maka a mafarkin?" Yayi murmushi yana lumshe ido "kina so ki sani? Zan gaya miki amma ba yau ba sai ranar assabar da misalin karfe goma na dare, ina gayyatar ki gida na kuma dakina, a can zan bayyana miki da baki in kuma nuna miki a aikace irin abinda kike min a mafarkin nawa" 

Nayi saurin kama handle din kofa zan fita sai yayi locking. Na juyo ina kallon sa "kaga gida zan koma fa, Aunty tana can tana nema na" ya lumshe idonsa yana kallona kasa kasa, Aunty ta san kina tare da mijinki ai, dan Allah Baby ki barni inyi ta kallon ki" na langwabe kai "ni bana son wannan kallon da kake yi min, wani iri yake yi min" y danyi dariya "wanne iri yake yi miki" nace "irin kamar n yan shaye shaye" yace "ko? Baki san ni ma a bugen nake ba?" Na rufe baki na da hannu biyu "a buge fa kace?" Yace "eh mana, amma ba giyar da yan shaye shaye suke sha na sha ba, ni giyar son Hauwa'u na sha har tayi min illa" 

Naji kunya "kai ko? Ba zaka fasa halinka ba ko?" Ya kara narkewa akan kujera "ki barni dan Allah, ko kamshin ki inyi ta shaka ina jin dadi" na sake kama handle "ni dai gida zan tafi. Ka barni in tafi" yace "to in dawo gobe in kuma ganin ki?" Nace "gobe kasan za'a yi kunshi, ba lallai in samu damar fitowa ba" yace "muga hannun da za'a yi miki kunshin? Show me" ya fada yana miko min hannunsa, kamar wata sokuwa sai na fito da hannun daga cikin hijab na jera a kusa da nasa daya miko min, bai kama hannun ba kamar yadda nayi tsammanin zaiyi, duk da cewa a lokacin a yadda nake jin sa a zuciya ta ko kama hannun nawa yayi ba lallai ne in iya hana shi ba.

Muka yi shiru muna kallon hannayen mu da suke a jere sai nace "wanne color din lalle kake so ayi min? Ja ko baki?" Ya danyi jim yana kallon hannun tare da tunani sannan yace "red. Duk zasu yi miki kyau but Ja zaifi kyau. Besides, red is sexy" mukayi dariya tare, sannan yace "but these long nails, ayi musu adon red and black din zasu yi kyau sosai" nace "an gama" sai kuma nayi dariya. Yace "what's funny?" Nace "hannun ka, kawai na lissafo ace kai aka yiwa halawar da akayi min jiya da ina jin sai kayi fitsarin wando" yace "inji wa? Ni fa jarumi ne. Kuma ba zaiyi min kyau ba ma" nace "saboda me?" Yace "saboda ni namiji ne, it is the rule of nature. Hannun maza is supposed to be like these, in ya zama irin naki then it wrong be attractive to you kuma, haka zalika in naki ya zama irin nawa then it won't be attractive to you too" 

Na gyada kai cikin fahimta. Sai kuma na ɗauke hannuna na mayar cikin hijab tare da cewa "dan Allah ka barni in tafi gida, Aunty zatayi fada" yace "sai kinyi min alkawarin in na dawo gobe zaki fito" na juya ido "minti biyu kadai" yace "na yarda, in dai zaki fito shikenan" na bude motar na fita sannan na leko ta window "bye bye" yace "bye Baby. Sai munyi waya".

Washegari tun safe aka dauke carpet din palon Aunty, ana masu kunshin da aka gayyato suka zo suka fara yiwa mutane, masu baki nayi masu red nayi. Ni kuma a dakin Aira aka yi min nawa, nayi wa mai lallen bayanin yadda Umar yace kuma ta bani isashshen time dinta ta kuma baje basirar ta a hannayena da kafafuwana. Tun kafin a fara su Mufida suka zo su ukun dan suma duk za'a yi musu kunshin, sune kuma suka yi ta daukar hoton kunshin nawa suna turawa yayansu yayin da shi kuma ya addabeni da waya, dole na saka ear piece na saurare shi. Kusan tare da shi akayi lallen aka gama duk yana jin hirar mu. 

Da yake ana fara da wuri wajen azahar har an gama nawa, sai duk suka fita palo ana yi musu a can ni kuma na zauna anan dan bai gama bushewa ba bana so a bata min shi. A lokacin ne kuma aka turo kofar aka shigo, na daga kai muna kallon kallo ni da Yaya Jamila. 

Ta rame sosai, duk da glasses din idonta amma naga ramar ta. Gabana ya fadi sanda ta cire glasses din, nayi saurin sauke ido na kasa ina jin wani irin kunyarta a raina. "Amarya kin sha kamshi" ta fada tana karasowa kusa dani. Ta zauna tana dan taba kunshin hannuna daya fara bushewa "yayi kyau sosai. Allah ya sanya alkhairi" nace "ameen. Ya su gwoggo?" Tace "lafiya lau. Ya angon naki?" Sai nayi shiru na kasa amsa mata.

Tace "zuwa nayi muyi magana Jidda. Ina so in tabbatar miki da cewa ni banji haushin ki ba ko kadan, tunda ba wai kwace Faruq kikayi daga gurina ba, sanda yace yana sonki baki san yana zuwa gurina ba dan haka baki da laifi for falling for him. Baki da laifi. Kuma banji haushin ki da kika ki fasa aurensa bayan kinsan abinda yayi min, I would have done the same thing da ace ni ya zaba. I love him so much that I would have done the same thing" 

Ta sunkuyar da kanta tana wasa da hannayenta "na san da kika gaya masa abinda Umman mu tace karyata wa yayi, dan baya son ya sirka soyayyar ku, baya son ya bata kansa a idonki. Watakila ma cewa yayi bai ma sanni ba. Watakila cewa zaiyi bai taba yi min magana ba. Tunda abinda yake pretending kenan tunda abin ya faru. Kuma  nasan kin yarda da shi dan nasan idan ni ce nima zan yarda da shi saboda son da nake yi masa" 

Ta dago kai tana kallona tace "watanku nawa tare? Bana jin kun kai shekara daya tare, imagine yadda kike jinsa a ranki. Imagine ace kun shekara uku a haka. Imagine yadda zaki ji shi a ranki then. To haka nake sonsa, haka ya saka min sonsa a raina. Then imagine rana daya yace shi baia taba saninki ba, yayi cutting duk wani link da yake tsakanin ki da shi." 

Ta fara murza hannayenta. "Tun ranar da ya dawo dani daga dinner din abokinsa dana raka shi, ina shigowa ina duba chats dina naga video din sa dake wai shine mijin da zaki aura. Na gaya wa Umman mu, da sassafe ta zo ta fada a gidan ku, I guess ke kuma kika kira shi kika gaya masa, tun ranar yayi cutting dina off tamkar wata used and unwanted rag, yayi blocking number dina, yayi blocking dina a duk social media accounts dinsa, hatta abokinsa Bashir shima yayi blocking dina. Ni ba zan tilasta masa ya aure ni ba but I just want him to tell me why, at least ai na chanchanci in san dalilin da yasa yayi min haka ko? At least ya kalli idona ya gaya min cewa all those years dama karya yake yi baya sona, ya kalli idona ya gaya min baya sona, ni ko karya ce ma ya shirya ya gaya min a matsayin dalilin da yasa ba zai aure ni ba at least zan san cewa yana da dalili ba wai kawai yayi shiru ba"

Ina kallon wawayenta yana diga a kan hannunta. Ta saka bayan hannun ta ta goge idonta "na san ya riga ya gama tsaraki, na san duk abinda zan gaya miki ta bayan kunnen ki zai bi ya wuce ba yarda zaki yi ba, ni kuma ba ni da wata shaidar da zan nuna miki tunda ko na hada ki da kawayena sun tabbatar miki da magana ta zaki iya daukan hakan a matsayin hadin baki dan in rabaki da shi kamar yadda nasan ya riga ya dora ki a kan hakan" ta danyi murmushin takaici "kullum in zanyi mana hoto sai yace baya so, har tsokanar sa nake in ce yana da 'photophobia' sai yanzu na fahimci dalilin da yasa baya daukar hoto da ni, dan yana tsoron kar irin wannan ranar ta zo in samu abinda zanyi proving gaskiya ta da shi. Ina da hotunan sa amma shi kadai ba tare da ni ba, and I guess they won't probe anything"

Na girgiza kaina a raina ina kin yarda da maganar ta dan idan da akwai abinda Umar yake so to hoto ne, kusan kullum sai yayi mana hoto ni da shi a school ko a hanya ko a gidan mu. Musamman in nayi kwalliya ko inshi yayi.

Ta mike tsaye tana mayar da glasses din idonta. "Gwara in tafi kar in bata miki mood dinki kanwata, sai dai da ace zuciyata kawai Faruq ya karba a gurina da zan iya healing with time, but ya karbi abinda ba zan taba iya dawo dashi ba komai dadewar danayi ina healing, abinda mijina kawai ya kamata in bawa amma na bashi saboda dadin bakin da yayi min na cewa shi din ai shine zai aure ni dan haka babu komai"

Na dago ido da sauri ina kallon ta zuciyata tana bugawa da karfi a kirjina, idanuwana kamar zasu fado a gabanta. Ta gyada kai tana kallo na "yes my dear sweet cousin, I gave him myself" na toshe kunne na da hannaye na ina girgiza kai na "not another word, bana son ji, bana son ji" sai tayi murmushi tace "da ace abinda na fada miki zaiyi destroying Faruq ne shi kadai da tabbas loudspeaker zan saka in sanar da kowa, amma zaiji destroying dina ne fiye da shi, wannan yasa ba zan gaya wa kowa ba sai ke daya zaba akaina, dan ki san irin mijin da zaki aura. At least na rama in my own small way" 

Sai ta kama hanya kamar zata fita sai kuma ta juyo tace "na san baki yarda ba. Amma watarana zaki yarda. Zaki fahimci cewa auren Faruq is not a blessing to you but a curse". Sannan ta bude kofa ta fita

Na sauke hannayena daga kunne na duk da cewa basu yi amfanin komai ba dan naji duk abinda ta fada. Na fara girgiza kaina "she is lying" nafada a fili. "Karya take yi!" Na maimaita ina jin kamar ana gasa masara a kirjina. "Tana so ta bata min rai ne kawai, tana so ta bata mana auren mu ne kawai. Saboda bai aure ta ba shi yasa take son tahana shi aure na nima" na cigaba da sambatu ni kadai. 

But what if she is saying the truth?
Wani bangare na ƙwaƙwalwa ta ya tambayi zuciya ta? What if da gaske Umar yayi abinda tace yayi din. Me ya kamata inyi a wannan stage din? Me ya kamata inyi? In ce na fasa aurensa? Can I even do that? Idan ma kuma na iya yi Abba da Umma zasu yarda? 
Idan kece a matsayina mai zakiyi?

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*Episode Thirteen: The Wedding*

Tana fita Farhan ta shigo, kallo daya tayi min ta taho inda nake da sauri tana dafa kafada ta "me tace miki? Ni banga shigowar ta ba wallahi sai fitar ta na gani, wani abin ta gaya miki?" Nayi saurin girgiza kai na duk da masan kamanni na kadai sun isa su tabbatar mata karya nake yi. Sai dai maganar gaskiya ba zan iya gaya wa kowa maganar nan ba not even Farhan, kuma nasan sanin hakan ne ya saka itama Yaya Jamilar ta gaya min, wannan kuma ya saka zuciya ta ta cigaba da gaya min cewa karya take yi. 

Farhan ta zauna a kusa dani tana dafa ni, "me tace miki Jidda? Menene zai bata miki rai haka a lokacin bikin ki?" Na danyi gyaran murya dan magana ta fito daga makogwarona da nake jinsa a toshe "babu abinda tace min, kawai dai maganganu ne irin nata akan wai yadda Umar ya yaudareta and other stuffs" Farhan tayi tsaki "na sani dama, na san sai ta tayar da maganar a bikin nan wallahi kuma gashi gobe a gidan su za'a yi kamu yadda zasuyi ta fadar maganganu ita da yan uwan ta, ni wallahi da an chanja venue din gobe ma" sai ta mike tayi hanyar fita "bara inje in gaya wa Aunty Afia"

Kamar zan hana ta kuma sai na barta dan ina son in samu quietness din da zanyi magana da zuciyata. Zuciyar da naji tana tsatstsagewa gunduwa gunduwa. Na saka yatsuna na kuma toshe kunnuwana da har yanzu suke amsa amon maganar ta "I gave him myself" na runtse idona tareda girgiza kai na. "Karyar banza" na fada a fili. "Karyar wofi" na maimaita. "Muguwar ƙatuwar karya" na fada da dan karfi tare da yin jifa da pillown da yake kusa dani, a dai dai lokacin da Aunty Afia ta bude kofa suka shigo tare da Farhan "shashancin me kike yi haka Jidda?" Ta fada tana kallona. Na sunkuyar da kaina ina jin numfashi na yana fita da sauri "babu komai Aunty" ta rufe kofar "babu komai kike jifa da pillow?" "Babu komai" na sake fada ina jin hawaye yana tahowa idona. 

Sai ta karaso ta zauna a gefe na Farhan ma ta zauna a daya side din, haka suka yi ta tambaya ta amma naki gaya musu komai, it would have created a scandal idan na fada ko da kuwa anyi finding out cewa karya ne to kuwa wasu ba za su yarda cewa karya ne ba. 

Haka ranar na karasa wuni a daki, duk wanda ya ganni da safe sannan ya ganni bayan zuwan Yaya Jamila tabbas zai fahimci chanjin yanayi a tare da ni, wadanda suka san abinda yake tsakanin mu sunyi guessing ita ce silar chanjin mood dina, wadanda kuma basu sani ba sai suke tsokana ta da cewa ko har ma fara tunanin rabuwa da gida ne. 

Tun bayan tafiyar Jamila Umar yake ta kirana a waya, ina jin wayar kuma nasan shi yake kira amma ko kallonta banyi ba ballantana in dauka, kawai bana jin zan iya yi masa magana yanzu duk da cewa kaso casain na zuciyata yana gaya min cewa karya tayi masa dan ta rama abinda take tunanin yayi mata, but duk da haka sai naji ina bukatar break from him. Daga karshe dai dole ya hakura ya daina kira

A haka har aka watse daga taron, har akayi magrib, ina yin sallar na koma na kwanta akan sallaya ta na rufe idona kamar mai bacci duk da ba baccin nake yi ba kawai dai bana son ake yi min magana ne. A haka naji wayata ta cigaba da ruri na kidan da na saka musamman saboda Umar, sai a lokacin na tuna da cewa munyi alkawarin zai zo yaga kunshina yau da magrib. Na mika hannuna na dauko wayar sannan ba tare da na ko kalli sunansa ba na katse kiran sannan na kashe wayar gabaki daya na cusa ta a kasan pillow na, a raina ina jin bazan iya ganin sa ba har sai na goge wani dan digo da nake ji a zuciya ta na cewa Jamila gaskiya ta fada. 

Naji an murda kofar dakin an shigo, na daga kai ina kallon Farhan da ta shigo da plate din abinci ta ajiye a gaba na tana magana kasa kasa duk da bana jinta amma na san mita take yi akan yadda banci abinci ba tun rana. 

Wayarta tayi kara ita ma, ta daga tana murmushi "ango kasha kamshi" nayi saurin kallonta dan na fahimci da wanda take magana. "Wallahi ka ganta nan tun azahar a kwance" "eh Yaya Jamila ce tazo, bamu san me ta gaya mata ba shikenan mood dinta ya chanja take kwance" "ta tafi tun dazu, tana zuwa ko five minutes bata yi ba ta fita" "a'a dan Allah kar kaje gidan su, kaga yanuwan mu ne fa, wannan ma sabanin da aka samu so muke a gyara shi" "okay gata" ta fada sannan ta dora min wayar a kunne na.

"Baby na" ya fada da muryar sa data taba zuciyata da already take cike da kishirwar samun kulawa da kuma assurance daga gare shi.  

"Why Jidda! Me yasa zaki bar yarinyar can ta shiga kanki haka? Me yasa zaki bar ta ta bata miki daya daga cikin mafi girman ranaku na rayuwarki? Wallahi baby da ace nasan Jamila zata kasance sanadiyyar zubar digon hawaye daga idon ki wallahi da ko hanyar da ta bi ba zan bi ba ballantana mu hadu. Da ko iska ba zan bari mu shaka a atmosphere daya ba"

"Abinda take so kenan Baby, so take ta hana mana farin ciki a cikin ranakun farin cikin mu Jidda. Kar ki bata wannan satisfaction din dan Allah. Kar ki hana kyakykyawan murmushin ki bayyana akan kyakykyawar fuskar ki akan abinda ni na riga na gaya miki cewa karya ne" 

A hankali nace "doctor baka san me tace min ba ai ........" Yace "shshshsh, bana son ji, at least not now. Kin san sai yaushe nake son ji" na girgiza kaina kamar yana kallo na, sai yace "sai rana ita yau, a lokaci kamar yanzu, muna zaune a falon mu kina kan cinyata ina baki kaza a baki, a lokacin zaki bani labari then we will laugh over it and let it go" kawai sai naji murmushi ya subuce a kan fuska ta, nace "bana son kaza, sai dai tsire" yayi dariya "to zan baki tsiren kaza" nayi dariya nima "ni tsiren tsire nake so" yace "kin san me? Come down and tell me wanne kala kike so, kuma ki nuna min wannan kyakykyawan kunshin and in yayi min akwai kyautar da na taho miki da ita" 

Na cire wayar daga kunnena na mike ina murmushi na shiga toilet na dan gyara fuskata sannan na fito na saka turare, Farhan ta saki baki tana kallona har na gama sannan tace "oh Allah, su soyayya manya, tun dazu fa muke fama ni da Aunty amma mun kasa samun abinda cikin seconds shi ya samu. Me ya gaya miki?" Na harare ta "ina ruwanki? Abin sirri ne"

Yau ma a motar sa na same shi na bude na shiga, ya lumshe ido ya bude yace "kamshin ki kawai ya warkar min da duk wata damuwa" nayi murmushi "muryar ka kadai ta warkar min da duk damuwar da take cikin zuciyata" yayi saurin kallona da budadden ido "wow, for the first time in history yau Jidda ta fada wa Umar abinda yake ranta" na rufe ido "practicing na fara, practicing yadda zan kula da mijina" ya saka hannunsa a seat din baya ya dauko wani karamin box a saka a tsakanin mu "bana bukatar ganin kunshi kafin in bada gift. Wannan maganar kadai ta ishi a bayar da tukuicinta" 

Ya bude ya dauko sabuwar waya babbar harka exactly irin wadda take hannunsa ya miko min "a new phone for my new bride" na saka hannu biyu na karba ina bude ido "Abba fa yace karama zan rike" yace "sanda kina gidan sa ba, yanzu kin dawo gidan Umar" na mayar masa da kayarsa "zan je gidan Umar dai banje ba ai" ya dawo min da ita "yanzu kina gidan Aunty, gobe zaki je gidan gwoggo, jibi zaki zama matar Umar. Ni banji sunan Abba a ciki ba" na langwabe kai shima yayi irin yadda nayi "please amarya ta, kinga na gaji da saka kannena suna dauko min hoton amarya ta gwara ita ta dauko min da kanta. I don't want to miss out on anything. Duk wankan amarya ta ina so in gani" 

Na dauki wayar ina juyawa "Nagode, Allah ya......." Yace "nayi miki charging, kawai sim card zaki saka" na kunna sannan na nemo camera nace "let's snap the first selfie" 

Ko sunan Jamila bamu ambata ba........

Ba'a chanja vanue din kamu ba kamar yadda Farhan da Aunty suka nema. Sai dai Aunty ta hana ni tafiya gidan kamun da wuri sai da aka gama shirya komai a can mu kuma muka gama komai a gurin kyalliya sannan muka tafi, muna zuwa kawai zama muka yi aka fara gabatar da taron. Tun kafin mu zo already yan uwan Umar sunzo gurin, sunyi ankon su mai kyau kamar yadda nima nawa yanuwan suka yi nasu ankon. 

Ni kuma shigar farar atamfa nayi mai adon green leaves, riga da aka yiwa pattern da ganyayyakin a wuyanta sai plain zani wanda da kyar aka daura min shi dan ba iya daura wa nayi ba😃, sannan kuma akayi min dauri mai kyau da dankwalin atampar, sai kuma aka lulluba min zani guda na atampar aka rufo shi har fuskata. 

Gwoggo Habibah ce ta fesa min turare bayan Aunty ta biya kudin kamu cikin barkwanci da raha, sai da aka gama min barin turare sannan aka cire zanin da aka lulluba min aka cigaba da daukan pictures tare da chashewa.

Duk yayan gwoggo Habibah sun zo kuma dasu akayi komai banda Jamila ita kadai ce ban gani a gurin ba kuma nafi kyautata zaton bata gidan ma gabaki daya. Yayan gwoggon kuma sune suka dauki nauyin refreshment da duk aka ci a gurin kuma suka bayar da soveniers na turaren wuta, lalle, da hair brush.

Da daddare akayi kamun ango shima a can gidan su, bayan an gama ya kira ni yana ta mita "duk sunbi sunyi min wanka da nono, wata kakata ce tayi ta zuba min nono aka dama haushi na take ji ban auri jikar ta ba" nayi dariya "ayya my dear, sorry kaji?" Yace "dariya ma kike yi ko? Don't worry duk wannan karnin a jikinki zan goge miki shi jibi in Allah ya kaimu".

Friday da safe na dawo gidan mu, da azahar kuma aka daura aure na da Umar Faruq. Da yake babu nisa da gidan mu da masallacin da za'a yi kuma suna amfani da loudspeaker dan haka kusan a kunnena akayi komai, ana shafa fatiha gidan ya rude da guda da hargowar taya murna. At the same time kuma waya ta ta fara rurin kira daga angona amma naki dauka na saka ta a silent na kwanta na ja bargo na rufe har kaina ina jin wani iri a jikina, na rasa gane murna nake yi ko kuma akasin haka, wani irin feeling da babu wanda zai gane sai amarya a ranar da aka daura mata aure, wani irin feeling da yake tabbatar min da cewa am no longer Maijidda yar Umma da Abba, I am now Jidda matar Umar, and that tittle comes with a lot of responsibilities duk da dai a lokacin bansan girman responsibilities din ba.

Har yamma jikina a sanyaye yake, har aka fara shirin tafiya dinner. Da wuri muka fara shirin saboda Abba ya ja kunne sosai akan kar ayi dare, anan gida na shirya banje gidan kwalliya ba saboda tun kafin ranar Umar ya nuna min baya so "bana so mutane su taya ni ganin kwalliyar mata ta, ni kadai nake so in gani, ba dan su Bash sun dage ba ma ni bana son dinner din gabakidaya" 

Wannan yasa Farhan ta dan gyara min fuska ta lightly sannan ta taya ni na shirya cikin kayan da ya dinka mana ni da shi, doguwar rigar yadi torquis blue, wadda ta bude daga kasa sosai sannan ta kwanta tana jan kasa daga bayana. A inda ta kwanta din anyi adon pink roses. Aira ta daura min head sannan suka taimaka suka yafa min pink veil din daya dace sosai da pink roses din bayan rigata, tun daga kan head dina kuma ya rufe har kirjina stylishly ba kuma tare daya bata kyalliyar ba sai ma kara mata kyau da yayi. 

Gaba daya hankali na baya kan yabon da nake ta saku daga gare su da kuma pictures din da already suka fara daukana. Ni hankali na yana kan ango na wanda tunda ya zama nawa ban bar kaina naji muryar sa ba duk kuwa da kiran da yake ta rangada min, haka nan kawai naji kamar ina jin tsoron sa. Nasan duk abinda aure yake nufi kuma I thought na shirya amma sai yanzu da na riga nazo gurin sannan na fahimci ban shirya ba ashe.

Sai da duk masu tafiya dinner suka tafi aka bar mu a gidan daga ni sai Farhan sai Umma wadda taki zuwa sannan Umar ya kira Farhan yace mata gasu sunzo daukar mu.

Na tashi muka yiwa Umma sallama sannan muka fita. A soro na makale ina lekensa. Yana tsaye a gaban motar dana lura ta Bashir ce, sanye da kaya shigen nawa sai dai nasa sunfi nawa haske sai dai hular daya saka ce tayi duhun nawa kayan, fuskarsa kamar gonar auduga. Sai na ga kamar yau yafi kullum yi min kyau, yau da ya zama nawa sai naga kamar ban taba ganin mai kyawu irin nasa ba. Ina jin Farhan tana yi min magana a kunne amma banji mai tace ba ba kuma nason inji dan bana son abinda zaiyi distracting dina daga kallon mijina. 

Ya tako yana kara fadin murmushin sa idon sa yana kyalli zuwa gabana yana ta rarraba ido a kaina yace "WOW. Anya kuwa an taba yin kyakykyawar mace a duniya kamar ki matata?"  Na sunkuyar da kai na kasa nace "Nagode mijina" sai ya saka hannu and for the first time tunda muka hadu ya kama haba ta ya dago fuska ta yana kallon idona yace "no, ni zaki kalla ba kasa ba. Dai dai da second daya bana so ki kalli wani abun idan ba ni ba" and I did looked at him kamar ranar na fara ganinsa, bansan second nawa ne ya wuce ko minutes ba dan na shige cikin duniyar idanuwan sa sai da naji muryar Bashir yana magana "to zamu tafi dinner din ne ko kuma anan zamu tsaya ayi ta kallon kuda?"  

Umar yace "shut up Bash. Go and find something to do ni na fasa zuwa dinner din ma, amarya ta kawai zan dauka in tafi gida" Farhan tace "impossible. Sai ka kara hakurin cigaba da gwaurontaka na kwana daya, kwana daya kacal"

Umar bai kula shi ba ya miko min hannu "come beautiful" na daga hannuna a hankali na saka a cikin nasa ina jin wani iri a jikina kamar wadda tayi wani abu ba dai dai ba, rike hannu da namiji a titin Allah🙈, yayi murmushi ganin yadda nake ta rarraba ido sannan ya rintse hannun nawa a cikin nasa har da saka daya hannun ya kara rikewa. Muka jera muna tafiya zuwa mota, yace "from wannan karkarwar jikin na fahimci wannan hannun Umar Faruq ne ya fara rike shi" nayi kokarin karbe hannu na ya hana ni, sai da muka je gaban motar ya kuma bude min na shiga sannan ya saki hannun ya rufe min kofa ya zagaya ya shiga kusa da ni. Yana zama ya sake lalubo hannu na ya rike duk kuwa da kokarin boye shi da nayi a tsakanin cinyoyi na, ganin yana kokarin saka hannu a gurin ya saka na bashi hannun da yake nema. 

Bashir ya zauna a driver's seat Farhan tana kusa da shi, ya juyo ya na kallona "amarya wato ko gaisuwa babu ko?" Nace "au dama kana nan? Ai ban san da kai aka zo ba. I was busy looking at something special" suka yi dariya shi da Farhan, yace "wato baki ma gan ni ba kenan ko? Shikenan nima rana ta tana nan zuwa duk sai na rama. Na gama shirya wa kaf har kayan da zan saka ranar daurin aure na na dinka, abu daya ne ya rage min, amaryar" duk muka yi dariya nace "ga kanwata nan na baka" Farhan ta juyo ta harare ni "Allah ya sauwake ni kuwa a rasa wanda zai ba da ni sai ke" Umar yace "easy Farhan, yakamata kisan dawa kike magana, she is not your mate now, ta tashi daga just Jidda ta koma Mrs Umar." 

Haka har muka je gurin cikin cikin fara'a da tsokanar juna. Wani irin farin ciki nake ji a zuciya ta musamman in na juya na kalli mutumin daya ke zaune a kusa da ni, mutumin da duk juyi na ina jin idonsa a kaina hannu na kuma a cikin nasa. Sanda muka tsaya ne bayan Bashir da Farhan sun fita ya kara matsowa kusa dani

Na matsa ina zaro ido shi kuma ya kuma matsowa har sai da na makale a jikin kofa ina zare ido, ya saka hannu yana shafa side din fuska ta a hankali "I feel like stealing you right now, in yiwa motar nan key kawai in tafi dake somewhere inda babu wanda ya sani bare ya dame mu. What do you say? Mu tafi?" Na girgiza kaina da sauri. Ya matso da fuskarsa kusa da tawa har ina jin hucin numfashin sa a fuskata, idon sa cikin nawa, nayi saurin rufe nawa idon dan sam bana son abinda nake gani a nasa idon, zuciya ta tana kokarin balla kirjina saboda bugawar da take yi "why?" Ya fada can kasa "me yasa ba kya son in sace ki mu gudu?" Na hadiye yawu sannan nace "saboda bai dace ba" yace "dama a tsakanin mata da miji akwai abinda bai dace ba?" 

Na ce "ba tsakanin ni da kai ba, tsakanin mu da mutane" yace "ni ina ruwa na da mutane, ni matata kawai na damu da ita" nayi shiru ban sake cewa komai ba saboda bana jin ko na bude bakin magana zata fito saboda dan yatsan sa da naji ya sauka akan lips dina yana zagaye su "open your eyes" ya fada da alamar dariya a muryarsa, ga girgiza kai na tare da kara rintse ido na da karfi, yace "open your eyes nace ba close your eyes ba" "uhm uhm" nace tare da sake shigewa cikin kujera ina kara tattare jikina a waje daya. Yayi dariya "wai cikin kujerar zaki tsaga ki shiga?" 

Na gyada kai. "Saboda me?" Na nuna shi da hannu na da yake free, sai ya kama shi shima ya rike sannan ya dora shi akan kirjinsa "kinji yadda take bugawa? Kinji yadda zuciyata take bugawa? Just for you" naji ya saki hannuna ya bar shi a kirjinsa sannan naji saukar nasa hannun akan nawa kirjin "bara muji naki bugun zuciyar" 

Na bude ido na da sauri tare da yin yar karamar kara a lokaci daya ina ture hannunsa, ya tuntsire da dariya, na harare shi ina kokarin bude motar in fita ya riko hannuna "sorry baby kawai zanji ne ko zuciyarki ta fi tawa bugawa da karfi" na kara masa wata hararar tare da murguda baki "only in your dreams" na fada sannan na bude kofa na fita, ya fito shima ya tsaya kusa dani yana gyara min rigata da veil dina sannan a hankali yace "kar Allah ya kawo abinda zai kara min tsahon gobe, I know these 24 hours will be like 24 years to me"

Amma addu'ar sa bata karbu ba dan ana tsakiyar dinner din naji alamar period dina tazo, bayan an tashi kuwa ina zuwa gida na tabbatar da zuwan nata. Naji dadi sosai dan har da yar karamar rawa nayi a toilet, duk da dai nasan kwana biyar ne kadai zata yi ta tafi amma at least nasan zan dan huta in huce gajiyar biki a kwanakin, sai dai kuma bansan yadda Umar zai dauki abin ba. Nayi murmushi ina lissafo yadda reaction dinsa zai yi idan na gaya masa bani da tsarki.

Ranar kam mutane kadan ne sukayi bacci a gidan, duk kuwa da cewa an debo gajiyar dinner amma haka kawai sai aka bude chapter akan rayuwar aure da ire-iren kalubalen da yake ciki, anayi ana jefo min nasiha a ciki tare da dabarun zaman aure, wannan a gare ni shi ya zamanto kamar fadan da akeyi wa amare, kuma babban abinda na dauka a cikin fadan shine hakuri wanda aka nuna min cewa shine jigon komai.

Washegari akayi yini anan gidan mu, da magriba kuma kamar yadda aka tsara aka zo aka dauke ni ina kuka zuwa gidan mijina bayan dogon fadan da Abba yayi min a kan biyayya da miji 

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Episode Fourteen :The Wedding Night

Gidan Umar yana rijiyar zaki, flat ne madaidaici dai dai karamin family. Falo ne madaidaici, a cikin sa akwai kofofi guda uku, daya zata shiga da kia guest room mai hade d guest toilet, daya zat shiga da kai dining room wanda ta cikinsa zaka shiga kitchen, a cikin kitchen din akwai store da kuma dan karamin dakin yan aiki sai kuma kofar da zata fitar da kai backyard, daya kofar kuma ta falo zata shiga da kai corridor din da daki na dana umar suke kallon juna. 

Komai na gidan ni dai zance yayi min, dan Umar yayi iyakacin kokarin sa gurin tabbatar wa yayi komi dai dai da zamani sannan nima iyaye na t nadu bangaren sunyi matukar kokari gurin zub kayan da suka dace da gidan, komai yaji sai san barka sai kuma fatan alkhairi.

A falo su Aunty suka ajiye ni akan kujera, suka zauna suma ta hira da barkwanci da yan gidan su Umar waɗanda suka zagaye ni suna ta tsokana ta da neman lallai sai sun bude min fuskata, ni kuma na kankame mayafina na kuma takure a jikin aunty ina karasa sauran kukan da ban gama ba, tsoro na Allah tsorona su Aunty su ce zasu tafi. Ai kuwa basu wani jima sosai ba suka fara shirin tafiya haka suma yan uwan Umar banda su Mufida da suke a matsayin kawayena, nan na sake bude wani sabon babin na kuka kawayena suna ta tsokana ta. 

Farhan tace "munafuka, Aunty ganin ku ne fa ya saka take wannan abin, bara ku gani yana zuwa zaku ganta tana ta zagba masa murmushi, idan da zaku ce tazo ku tafi tare da ita cewa zata yi ba zata bi ku ba" Mufida tace "wallahi kuwa, kukan munafurci ne. Kuma wallahi in yazo naga hakorinki a waje sai nayi miki hoto na nuna wa kowa ya gani" yaya Hudallah tace "kar ku takura mata, wa yaki auren soyayya? Auren soyayya ai dadi ne dashi. Kana son mijinka shima kuma yana sonka me yafi wannan dadi?" 

Maryam tace "ballantana miji irin yaya Doctor. Gaskiya Jidda tana daga cikin mata masu saa a duniya. Ta samu miji ga kyau ga kudi ga tarbiyya ga ilimi uwa uba kuma gashi yana balain sonta" 

Sai hirar da juya ta koma akan irin dacen da nayi da miji, duk a kokarin su na making me feel better kuna naji dadin sosai dan ina so inji ana yabawa Umar. A haka sukayi ta zame jiki suna tafiya. 

Bayan sun tafi ne na dan bude fuskata da kumburarrun idanuwa na, Farhan ta matsa min wai lallai sai na sake wanka ni kuma naki yi tunda da zamu taho bayan magrib sai da nayi wanka kuma yanzu bayan ishai sai in sake wani? Sai kace kwaduwa? Banyi wankan ba dai amma na dan gyara fuska ta, sai kuma barin turare da Mufida tayi min a jiki kala kala ta ringa fesa min a kowanne loko na jikina, suka hadu suka gyara gidan fes suka kuma saka turaren wuta a ko'ina yadda daga ni har gidana duk kamshi muke yi, sai kuma zaman jiran angwaye.

Anan falo muka zauna jiran su, su Mufida su uku, Farhan da Aira, Maryam, sai kawayena na school of nursing su uku. Angwayen ba su zo ba sai tara da rabi, kamar yadda muka yi tsammani classy abokan sa bisa jagorancin Bashir su suka rako shi, tun daga waje muka jiyo hayaniyar su daga dukkan alamu tsokanar sa suke yi, muka yi sauri muka shirya Farhan har da kara rufe min fuska tana tuna wa sauran kawaye irin kudin da zasu karba a matsayin na siyan baki. 

Sai dai suna shigowa Umar bai bi ta kan kowa ba ya doso inda nake gadan gaban, ina jin kawayena suna retaliating, Mufida har da zuwa gabana ta tsaya tare da rike kugu, yana zuwa ya saka hannu daya ya ture ta gefe sannan ya saka hannu biyu ya kama nawa hannayen ya mikar da ni tsaye sannan ba tare daya jira komai ba ya jawo ni zuwa kirjinsa ya rungume.

Ina jinsa ya sauke sassanyar ajjiyar zuciya yana kara matse ni a kirjinsa, sannan a hankali yace "welcome home Baby" naji murmushin da Farhan take cewa zanyi yazo fuskata sannan a hankali nayi rising hannayena da suke sides dinsa na hade su a bayan sa tare da cewa "thank you dearest". Sannan na lumshe idona ina shakar daddadan kamshin sa. 

Ihu da sowar yammata da samarin ne ya saka ni bude ido na, sai kuma na sake shi ina kokarin ture shi cikin jin kunyar su. Ina jin Farhan tana cewa "munafuka na dauki hoton ki ai sai na nuna wa Aunty da Umma" na juya side din ta ina yi mata alamar roko. Umar ya sake ni shima sannan ya rike hannuna muka juya muna kallon su, kusan kowa da waya a hannun sa yana daukar mu hoto, a raima mace na shiga uku shikenan za'a ga hoto na a rungume a jikin namiji, sai wata zuciyar ta tuna min cewa namijin ai miji na ne kuma Umar dina ne and I felt I don't care, the whole world can see it.

Yace "what are you guys still doing here? Na dauka kun tafi ai. Thank you thank you thank you, but your presence is no longer needed, a gaida gida" Bashir yace "in baka kore mu ba dama ai baka cika Umar Faruq ba. To babu inda zamu je in muka ga dama ma anan gidan zamu kwana ko ya kuka ce guys" Mufida tace "aa banda kwana dai, za dai a bamu kudin siyan baki sannan a kaimu gidajen mu bayan an gode mana ba wai an kore mu ba" Bashir yace "wannan duk mai sauki ne, zamu kai ku har gida kuma zamu sallame ku, amma mu dai kam tunda wannan angon ya wulakanta mu kuma ya kore mu to anan gidan zamu kwana. Ko ya kuka ce?" Sauran abokan suka fara amsawa da eh, duk suna kallon Umar cikin tsokana. 

Sai ya daga kafada "okay, no problem, ga dakin baki can ga kuma palo nan wanda bai samu guri ba sai ya kwanta akan carpet. And please in kun gaji da zama zaku tafi make sure you close the door. Sai da safen ku" 

Ya juya ya doshi hanyar dakunan mu hannunsa cikin nawa, ni dai duk kunya ta ishe ni kamar kasa zata tsage in shige ciki. Har mun kai bakin kofa sai ya juyo yana kallon Bashir. "Na bar kaji na a mota, bring them please. And in ka kawo be a good boy and knock on the door sai ka ajiye a bakin kofa ka tafi" ina jin suna ta dariya yayin da Bashir yake babatun Umar bai isa ya aike shi ba,ni dai ban dago kai na kalle su ba dan bana jin zan iya kallon idon su amma su ko a jikin su. Kawayena ma duk babu mai cewa komai sai dariya da suke yi. 

Muna shiga corridor din ya mayar da kofa ya rufe sannan ya jingina da jikin ta yana kallo na. Na harare shi. "Kaga ka sa naji kunyar abokan ka ko, ka bari mana minti nawa ne zasuyi su gama su tafi?" Yace "rabu dasu wadannan, tun yamma suka saka ni a gaba da tsokana wai ba sabanba nima yau zan shiga daga ciki, wai na kasa rufe baki saboda doki, shine nima na nuna musu tabbas dokin nake yi" ya saki hannu na ya rike fuskata yana kallon ido na "ina dokin kasancewa da matata" na ja baya ina kallon sa ina murmushi, sannan na juya da sauri na shiga daya daga cikin ɗakunan da suke gurin duk da bansan ko na waye a cikin mu ba. Na zauna a bakin gado tare da sake lullube fuskata ina jin mixed feelings a cikin zuciyata. 

Ina jin sa yashigo dakin, ya jima a tsaye yana kallona sannan ya karaso ya zauna a kasa a gaba na tare da dora guiwowin hannayensa guda biyu a kan guiwowin kafafuwana yayi tagumi da hannu bibbiyu yana leka fuskata. "Ni ka daina kallona, so kake sai ka gano muni na" ya lumshe ido ya bude "muni fa kika ce? A jikin ki Jidda babu wani abu mai kama da muni in ma da akwai ni Umar ban ganshi ba" nayi murmushi ina jin dadin maganar sa, tabbas Umar yana da baiwa mai yawa amma iya magana musamman a gare ni tana daga cikin manyan baiwar sa. 

Na gyara mayafina ina kara bude masa fuskata sannan wani tunani ya fado min, wata tambaya da na jima ina yiwa kaina  

"Why me?" 

Yace "what?" Na daga kafada "in nufin you can marry any other Lady, why me? Me yasa ka zabe ni?" 

Sai naga yayi mamakin tambayar tawa, yace "ke zanyi wa wannan tambayar Jidda, you can marry any other guy because you have everything needed, why do you accept me?" 

Na juya ido na "I asked the question first Mr, answer me first" 

Sai ya mike yayi kneeling a gaba na yadda fuskokin mu suka daidaita da juna sannan yana kallon cikin ido na yace "I don't know. I just saw you and know that it is you. Farko muryarki na fara jiyo wa kina gaishe da Mama a school dinku and I felt like ba zan iya cigaba da rayuwa ba sai na ga fuskar ki, I turned my mirror and saw you and I felt like bazan iya cigaba da rayuwa ba sai na sanki, and when I did manage to get to know you I felt like bazan iya cigaba da rayuwa ba sai na aure ki. And here am I thankfully married to you and feeling like my life is finally complete, feeling like kamar bani da wani sauran buri kuma sai fatan cikawa da imani. Buri dai kam na duniya Jidda na gama samunsa. Now tell me, me yasa da nace ina sonki ki ka karbe ni" 

Naji kwalla ta kawo idona, I hate wannan saurin kukan nawa wallahi amma haka halitta ta take kuma nasan ubangiji yasan dalilin da yasa ya halicce ni a haka. Na saka bayan hannu na a hankali na shafa sajen sa ina jin wata sabuwar soyayyar sa tana kara shiga cikin zuciyata. 

Na tuno da wani baiti na wata waka dana taba ji somewhere duk dabazan iya tuna sunan wakar ko a inda na ji ta ba

*Have you ever love someone so much that looking at them makes you cry?*

Sai naji na fahimci dalilin hawaye na. 

Na ga ya lumshe idonsa yana feeling hannuna da yake shafa fuskar sa. A hankali nace

"Because I love you. Bansan dalili ba so don't ask me, I just know I love you tun second din dana ga idonka ta cikin mirror kana kallona, har zuwa yanzu da kake matsayin mijina, and I am pretty sure that I am going to take your love with me to my grave. Wannan shine abinda na sani, bayan shi ban san komai ba"

Sai ya saka hannun sa ya rike hannuna da yake kan fuskarsa ya jawo shi a hankali zuwa kan lips dinsa sannan ya manna min kiss a tsakiyar palm dina, ya bude idonsa da naga sun juye zuwa irin na yan shaye shaye sannan yace 

"And I love you too Baby"

Nayi sauri na karbe hannuna daga gurinsa sannan na goge shi da sauri a jikin cinya ta, ina jin sakon kiss dinsa yana tafiya tun daga hannun nawa zuwa duk wani bari na jiki na har inda ma ban taba tunanin zai je ba. 

Na fara kokarin wayencewa "uhmmm su Mufida ko sun tafi gida? Ya kamata mu duba su" ya danyi gajeren murmushi yana matso da fuskarsa kusa da tawa "I don't know. And I don't care" na matsar da tawa fuskar baya ina zare ido "ni I care. Zanje in duba su, in sun tafi ma zan kira su in tabbatar sunje gida lafiya" 

Ya cigaba da matsowa ba tare da yace min komai ba, idanuwan sa akan lips dina, yana yin sa mai cike da rikitarwa. Ni kuma na cigaba da ja baya kirjina yana dukan tara tara a haka har muka hau kan gadon sannan muka tafi har karshen gadon. Sai da naji bayana ya hadu da frame din gadon sannan na far neman next option din guduwa, na duba dama da hagu ina tunanin ina ne zai yi min sauri amma sai yayi sauri ya saka hannayensa a dukkan sides biyun ya tare ko'ina. 

A dai dai lokacin muka ji tashin motoci a waje, tare da maganganun mutane, yace "there. Sun tafi, sai kuma me kike so ki sani?" Nace "





Gidan Umar yana rijiyar zaki, flat ne madaidaici dai dai karamin family. Falo ne madaidaici, a cikin sa akwai kofofi guda uku, daya zata shiga da kia guest room mai hade d guest toilet, daya zat shiga da kai dining room wanda ta cikinsa zaka shiga kitchen, a cikin kitchen din akwai store da kuma dan karamin dakin yan aiki sai kuma kofar da zata fitar da kai backyard, daya kofar kuma ta falo zata shiga da kai corridor din da daki na dana umar suke kallon juna. 

Komai na gidan ni dai zance yayi min, dan Umar yayi iyakacin kokarin sa gurin tabbatar wa yayi komi dai dai da zamani sannan nima iyaye na t nadu bangaren sunyi matukar kokari gurin zub kayan da suka dace da gidan, komai yaji sai san barka sai kuma fatan alkhairi.

A falo su Aunty suka ajiye ni akan kujera, suka zauna suma ta hira da barkwanci da yan gidan su Umar waɗanda suka zagaye ni suna ta tsokana ta da neman lallai sai sun bude min fuskata, ni kuma na kankame mayafina na kuma takure a jikin aunty ina karasa sauran kukan da ban gama ba, tsoro na Allah tsorona su Aunty su ce zasu tafi. Ai kuwa basu wani jima sosai ba suka fara shirin tafiya haka suma yan uwan Umar banda su Mufida da suke a matsayin kawayena, nan na sake bude wani sabon babin na kuka kawayena suna ta tsokana ta. 

Farhan tace "munafuka, Aunty ganin ku ne fa ya saka take wannan abin, bara ku gani yana zuwa zaku ganta tana ta zagba masa murmushi, idan da zaku ce tazo ku tafi tare da ita cewa zata yi ba zata bi ku ba" Mufida tace "wallahi kuwa, kukan munafurci ne. Kuma wallahi in yazo naga hakorinki a waje sai nayi miki hoto na nuna wa kowa ya gani" yaya Hudallah tace "kar ku takura mata, wa yaki auren soyayya? Auren soyayya ai dadi ne dashi. Kana son mijinka shima kuma yana sonka me yafi wannan dadi?" 

Maryam tace "ballantana miji irin yaya Doctor. Gaskiya Jidda tana daga cikin mata masu saa a duniya. Ta samu miji ga kyau ga kudi ga tarbiyya ga ilimi uwa uba kuma gashi yana balain sonta" 

Sai hirar da juya ta koma akan irin dacen da nayi da miji, duk a kokarin su na making me feel better kuna naji dadin sosai dan ina so inji ana yabawa Umar. A haka sukayi ta zame jiki suna tafiya. 

Bayan sun tafi ne na dan bude fuskata da kumburarrun idanuwa na, Farhan ta matsa min wai lallai sai na sake wanka ni kuma naki yi tunda da zamu taho bayan magrib sai da nayi wanka kuma yanzu bayan ishai sai in sake wani? Sai kace kwaduwa? Banyi wankan ba dai amma na dan gyara fuska ta, sai kuma barin turare da Mufida tayi min a jiki kala kala ta ringa fesa min a kowanne loko na jikina, suka hadu suka gyara gidan fes suka kuma saka turaren wuta a ko'ina yadda daga ni har gidana duk kamshi muke yi, sai kuma zaman jiran angwaye.

Anan falo muka zauna jiran su, su Mufida su uku, Farhan da Aira, Maryam, sai kawayena na school of nursing su uku. Angwayen ba su zo ba sai tara da rabi, kamar yadda muka yi tsammani classy abokan sa bisa jagorancin Bashir su suka rako shi, tun daga waje muka jiyo hayaniyar su daga dukkan alamu tsokanar sa suke yi, muka yi sauri muka shirya Farhan har da kara rufe min fuska tana tuna wa sauran kawaye irin kudin da zasu karba a matsayin na siyan baki. 

Sai dai suna shigowa Umar bai bi ta kan kowa ba ya doso inda nake gadan gaban, ina jin kawayena suna retaliating, Mufida har da zuwa gabana ta tsaya tare da rike kugu, yana zuwa ya saka hannu daya ya ture ta gefe sannan ya saka hannu biyu ya kama nawa hannayen ya mikar da ni tsaye sannan ba tare daya jira komai ba ya jawo ni zuwa kirjinsa ya rungume.

Ina jinsa ya sauke sassanyar ajjiyar zuciya yana kara matse ni a kirjinsa, sannan a hankali yace "welcome home Baby" naji murmushin da Farhan take cewa zanyi yazo fuskata sannan a hankali nayi rising hannayena da suke sides dinsa na hade su a bayan sa tare da cewa "thank you dearest". Sannan na lumshe idona ina shakar daddadan kamshin sa. 

Ihu da sowar yammata da samarin ne ya saka ni bude ido na, sai kuma na sake shi ina kokarin ture shi cikin jin kunyar su. Ina jin Farhan tana cewa "munafuka na dauki hoton ki ai sai na nuna wa Aunty da Umma" na juya side din ta ina yi mata alamar roko. Umar ya sake ni shima sannan ya rike hannuna muka juya muna kallon su, kusan kowa da waya a hannun sa yana daukar mu hoto, a raima mace na shiga uku shikenan za'a ga hoto na a rungume a jikin namiji, sai wata zuciyar ta tuna min cewa namijin ai miji na ne kuma Umar dina ne and I felt I don't care, the whole world can see it.

Yace "what are you guys still doing here? Na dauka kun tafi ai. Thank you thank you thank you, but your presence is no longer needed, a gaida gida" Bashir yace "in baka kore mu ba dama ai baka cika Umar Faruq ba. To babu inda zamu je in muka ga dama ma anan gidan zamu kwana ko ya kuka ce guys" Mufida tace "aa banda kwana dai, za dai a bamu kudin siyan baki sannan a kaimu gidajen mu bayan an gode mana ba wai an kore mu ba" Bashir yace "wannan duk mai sauki ne, zamu kai ku har gida kuma zamu sallame ku, amma mu dai kam tunda wannan angon ya wulakanta mu kuma ya kore mu to anan gidan zamu kwana. Ko ya kuka ce?" Sauran abokan suka fara amsawa da eh, duk suna kallon Umar cikin tsokana. 

Sai ya daga kafada "okay, no problem, ga dakin baki can ga kuma palo nan wanda bai samu guri ba sai ya kwanta akan carpet. And please in kun gaji da zama zaku tafi make sure you close the door. Sai da safen ku" 

Ya juya ya doshi hanyar dakunan mu hannunsa cikin nawa, ni dai duk kunya ta ishe ni kamar kasa zata tsage in shige ciki. Har mun kai bakin kofa sai ya juyo yana kallon Bashir. "Na bar kaji na a mota, bring them please. And in ka kawo be a good boy and knock on the door sai ka ajiye a bakin kofa ka tafi" ina jin suna ta dariya yayin da Bashir yake babatun Umar bai isa ya aike shi ba,ni dai ban dago kai na kalle su ba dan bana jin zan iya kallon idon su amma su ko a jikin su. Kawayena ma duk babu mai cewa komai sai dariya da suke yi. 

Muna shiga corridor din ya mayar da kofa ya rufe sannan ya jingina da jikin ta yana kallo na. Na harare shi. "Kaga ka sa naji kunyar abokan ka ko, ka bari mana minti nawa ne zasuyi su gama su tafi?" Yace "rabu dasu wadannan, tun yamma suka saka ni a gaba da tsokana wai ba sabanba nima yau zan shiga daga ciki, wai na kasa rufe baki saboda doki, shine nima na nuna musu tabbas dokin nake yi" ya saki hannu na ya rike fuskata yana kallon ido na "ina dokin kasancewa da matata" na ja baya ina kallon sa ina murmushi, sannan na juya da sauri na shiga daya daga cikin ɗakunan da suke gurin duk da bansan ko na waye a cikin mu ba. Na zauna a bakin gado tare da sake lullube fuskata ina jin mixed feelings a cikin zuciyata. 

Ina jin sa yashigo dakin, ya jima a tsaye yana kallona sannan ya karaso ya zauna a kasa a gaba na tare da dora guiwowin hannayensa guda biyu a kan guiwowin kafafuwana yayi tagumi da hannu bibbiyu yana leka fuskata. "Ni ka daina kallona, so kake sai ka gano muni na" ya lumshe ido ya bude "muni fa kika ce? A jikin ki Jidda babu wani abu mai kama da muni in ma da akwai ni Umar ban ganshi ba" nayi murmushi ina jin dadin maganar sa, tabbas Umar yana da baiwa mai yawa amma iya magana musamman a gare ni tana daga cikin manyan baiwar sa. 

Na gyara mayafina ina kara bude masa fuskata sannan wani tunani ya fado min, wata tambaya da na jima ina yiwa kaina  

"Why me?" 

Yace "what?" Na daga kafada "in nufin you can marry any other Lady, why me? Me yasa ka zabe ni?" 

Sai naga yayi mamakin tambayar tawa, yace "ke zanyi wa wannan tambayar Jidda, you can marry any other guy because you have everything needed, why do you accept me?" 

Na juya ido na "I asked the question first Mr, answer me first" 

Sai ya mike yayi kneeling a gaba na yadda fuskokin mu suka daidaita da juna sannan yana kallon cikin ido na yace "I don't know. I just saw you and know that it is you. Farko muryarki na fara jiyo wa kina gaishe da Mama a school dinku and I felt like ba zan iya cigaba da rayuwa ba sai na ga fuskar ki, I turned my mirror and saw you and I felt like bazan iya cigaba da rayuwa ba sai na sanki, and when I did manage to get to know you I felt like bazan iya cigaba da rayuwa ba sai na aure ki. And here am I thankfully married to you and feeling like my life is finally complete, feeling like kamar bani da wani sauran buri kuma sai fatan cikawa da imani. Buri dai kam na duniya Jidda na gama samunsa. Now tell me, me yasa da nace ina sonki ki ka karbe ni" 

Naji kwalla ta kawo idona, I hate wannan saurin kukan nawa wallahi amma haka halitta ta take kuma nasan ubangiji yasan dalilin da yasa ya halicce ni a haka. Na saka bayan hannu na a hankali na shafa sajen sa ina jin wata sabuwar soyayyar sa tana kara shiga cikin zuciyata. 

Na tuno da wani baiti na wata waka dana taba ji somewhere duk dabazan iya tuna sunan wakar ko a inda na ji ta ba

*Have you ever love someone so much that looking at them makes you cry?*

Sai naji na fahimci dalilin hawaye na. 

Na ga ya lumshe idonsa yana feeling hannuna da yake shafa fuskar sa. A hankali nace

"Because I love you. Bansan dalili ba so don't ask me, I just know I love you tun second din dana ga idonka ta cikin mirror kana kallona, har zuwa yanzu da kake matsayin mijina, and I am pretty sure that I am going to take your love with me to my grave. Wannan shine abinda na sani, bayan shi ban san komai ba"

Sai ya saka hannun sa ya rike hannuna da yake kan fuskarsa ya jawo shi a hankali zuwa kan lips dinsa sannan ya manna min kiss a tsakiyar palm dina, ya bude idonsa da naga sun juye zuwa irin na yan shaye shaye sannan yace 

"And I love you too Baby"

Nayi sauri na karbe hannuna daga gurinsa sannan na goge shi da sauri a jikin cinya ta, ina jin sakon kiss dinsa yana tafiya tun daga hannun nawa zuwa duk wani bari na jiki na har inda ma ban taba tunanin zai je ba. 

Na fara kokarin wayencewa "uhmmm su Mufida ko sun tafi gida? Ya kamata mu duba su" ya danyi gajeren murmushi yana matso da fuskarsa kusa da tawa "I don't know. And I don't care" na matsar da tawa fuskar baya ina zare ido "ni I care. Zanje in duba su, in sun tafi ma zan kira su in tabbatar sunje gida lafiya" 

Ya cigaba da matsowa ba tare da yace min komai ba, idanuwan sa akan lips dina, yana yin sa mai cike da rikitarwa. Ni kuma na cigaba da ja baya kirjina yana dukan tara tara a haka har muka hau kan gadon sannan muka tafi har karshen gadon. Sai da naji bayana ya hadu da frame din gadon sannan na far neman next option din guduwa, na duba dama da hagu ina tunanin ina ne zai yi min sauri amma sai yayi sauri ya saka hannayensa a dukkan sides biyun ya tare ko'ina. 

A dai dai lokacin muka ji tashin motoci a waje, tare da maganganun mutane, yace "there. Sun tafi, sai kuma me kike so ki sani?" Nace "ina so in san sun isa gida lafiya" ya saka hannu yana zare mayafi na yace "Bashir zai kira ni in ya gama kai kowa gida. Sai menene next excuse din?" Na fara kokarin jan mayafin amma yayi jifa dashi gefen gado, sai na saka hannayena biyu na rufe kirjina, a raina ina jin haushin Farhan da ta saka ni na saka rigar nan mai budadden wuya. 

Ya dora nasa hannayen akan nawa, ya saka yatsunsa a tsakanin nawa sannan ya ja hannayen namu together  zuwa sides din fuskata ya hada su da jikin frame din gadon, na runtse idona da sauri saboda kallon da naga yana bin kirjina da yake sama da kasa saboda bugawar da zuciyata take yi dashi, sai kuma zuciyar ta tsaya chak a lokacin da naji saukar lips dinsa a dai dai saman makogwarona, soft, warm but chilly. Sai kuma yasaki hannu na daya ya zura hannunsa ta bayana, cikin rigata, his hands warmer than normal, ya jawo ni sosai gabakidaya na shige cikin jikinsa sannan ya fara trailing kisses a wuyan nawa and going down, nayi amfani da free hannun nawa wajen dago fuskar sa da sauri na rike ina kokarin ganin ya kyalle ni, and he did looked at me da wannan kallon nasa da bana so.

Cikin rawar murya nace "wait, please wait, dan Allah ka dakata kaji" sai naga yayi murmushi "I have always known ke matsoraciya ce, amma banyi tunanin tsoron naki har ya kai haka ba, kinga fuskarki kuwa? Da da waya a kusa dani da nayi miki pictures in samu na tsokana duk ranar da zaki zo kina asking me for this, "dan Allah sweet Umar kazo muyi" ya karasa cikin kwaikwayon murya ta

Na bata rai ina jin abinda yake yi da hannun sa a baya na "I will never. Ka rubuta ka ajiye, I will never" sai yayi dariya. "We will see, na baki sati daya and I assure you duk ranar da banzo ba you will come begging" 

Ya fara kokarin mayar da fuskar sa inda na dauko ta, na kuma rike ta "akwai wani excuse din" na fada da sauri yace  "really? Na menene?" Ya fada yana juyar fuskarsa tare da kissing hannun dana rike fuskar ta sa da shi. Na dauke hannun da sauri ina gogewa a jikina nace "Sallah. Bamuyi sallar sunna ba ta godiya ga Allah da kuma neman albarka" 

Sai ya saki daya hannun nawa da har lokacin yake rike a cikin nasa tare da sauke ajjiyar zuciya "that's excuse enough" na fara zame jikina daga nasa "kuma ba ka dauko min kaza ta daka bari a mota ba" 

Ya sauka daga kan gadon yana cewa "in dai kaza ce zaki ci ko koshi yarinya, har sai kin gode Allah" daga nan ya shiga toilet. Yana shiga na girgiza kaina ina kokarin dawo da tunani cikin kwakwalwa ta, wannan umar din fa sai nayi da gaske, dole inyi masa dabara.

Mintina kadan ya fito da alamun ruwa a jikinsa. Nayi saurin janyo mayafi ina rufe jikina dashi, yayi dariya tare da gogo ruwan jikin sumarsa ya watso min. "Tashi zabuwa, kije kiyi alwala tun kafin tawa ta karye" naji kunyar maganar sa sosai, oh Allah, dama haka auren yake?

Ya sake cewa "ki tashi mana, ko ni kadai akace inyi sallar banda ke?" Na hadiye yawu da kyar ina tattaro dukkan bravadon da nake dashi nace "bani da tsarki" ba tare da wata damuwa ba yace "kije kiyi tsarkin sai kiyi alwalar" na bude ido "na shiga uku, ba wannan tsarkin nake nufi ba fa" ya zauna a bakin gadon yana murmushi tare da daga gira daya "to wanne kike nufi?" Nace "ina nufin bani da tsarki ba zanyi sallah ba" ya sake bata rai cikin rashin fahimta, naji haushin sa a raina, a matsayin sa na doctor aiya kamata ace ya gane ko?

Na sake cewa "ina nufin, ba zanyi sallah ba saboda period nake yi" am sure dai ai ya san wannan kalmar kuma yasan abinda take nufi. Ai kuwa ya sani din dan yadda fuskarsa ta chanja kadai ya tabbatar min da cewa ya sani. "What?" Ya fada da sauri. Na ja baya ina sake komawa karshen gado. "Wallahi da gaske nake, na rantse da Allah" 

Yace "wannan rantsuwar taki kadai ta isa ta tabbatar min cewa maganar ki ba gaskiya bace ba. Tsoron nawa har ya kai nan Jidda? Lallai muna da aiki a gaban mu ni da ke. Amma bara inzo inyi fata fata da tsoron nan da kunyar gabaki daya ones and for all" 

Ya fara biyo ni zuwa karshen gadon, na dunkule a guri daya "wallahi da gaske nake Allah kuwa, ko Alqur'ani aka kawo min zan dafa" yayi dariya "kin kama kanki Baby girl, in ana period ba'a taba Alqur'ani, meaning ke ba kya yi kenan tunda kin ce zaki taba" 

Na girgiza kaina kaina "ina nufin na rantse da Alqur'ani period nake yi" ya karaso tare da dora dan ya tsansa akan lips dina "ba'a rantsuwa da komai sai da Allah. Na san kin san haka, meaning kina sane kenan dan kinsan baki da gaskiya shine kika rantse da Alqur'ani" na girgiza kaina "please yaya Doctor. Wallahi dagaske nake" 

"Then show me" na bude ido "me?" Yace "period din, show me. In da babu kasa ai anan ake gardamar kokawa ko?" Naji hawaye ya taho min "yanzu ta yaya zan nuna maka period dina? Na rantse maka amma kaki yarda kamar baka sanni ba, Umar Jidda ce fa" yace "Jidda Umar ne fa. Me yasa ke ba zaki yarda dani ba? Me yasa kike jin tsorona? Am not going to hurt you I promise you. Ni wannan abin da kike yi sai nake ji a raina kamar ba kya so na ma" 

Nace "ina sonka mana, ka sani ina sonka sosai amma abinda kake so ba zai yiwu ba tunda ga halin da nake ciki. Ka bari, four days ne kawai ya rage zan gama shikenan" ya zaro ido "four what? Kina so in sheka barzahu kenan. Na share hawayen daya taho min "dan dai kwana hudu? Kayi shekaru ma babu wannan din menene laifin kwana hudu?" Yace "shekaru lokacin babu ke a matsayin matata ba. Shekaru lokacin bani da wannan right din" nace "yanzun ma baka dashi ai" 

Ya mayar da hannun sa bayana inda ya saka dazu, but this time around maimakon hannun yayi sama sai yayi kasa cikin skirt dina. Na zaro ido da kokarin rike hannunsa amma sai shi ya rike nawa yana wani murmushin da yafi yi min kama da na mugunta. Na saka kuka "na shiga uku Umar me kake yi?" Yace "tabbatar wa bani da right. In na tabbatar sai in rabu da gurin in kama dukkan sauran bangarorin da nake da right a kansu ko?" 

Na kwace hannu na daga rikon da yayi min sannan na rike hannunsa da hannu biyu ina kokarin fito dashi amma na kasa, ina jinsa yana yi min dariya tare da yi min tafiyar tsutsa a can. Na koma da baya na zauna akan hannun nasa dan in hana shi karasa wa inda yake son zuwa. Yayi kara "zaki balla min hannu fa" na daki hannun da karfi har da cize lips dan inyi masa mugunta, ya zare hannunsa yana sosa wa "sai na rama. Ki rubuta ki ajiye" na murguda masa baki ina share sauran hawaye na.

Ya tsaya yana kallon hannun sa "ni banga komai ba. Meaning babu komai a gurin kenan" nace "ai baka je inda yake da komai din ba. Na san kuma ka sani" 

Ya mayar da hannun sa baya na amma banji saukar sa a bayan ba sai jin fitar zip din rigata nayi, ya zuge shi har kasa. Na yi sauri na rike rigar. "Na shiga uku. Me kake yi haka?" Yace "idan da gaske bani da right a can ai ina da shi anan ko? Can din ma kuma ban yarda ba" na kamkame rigata "dan Allah ka rabu dani. Albarkacin soyayya da kace kana yi min ka rabu dani" ya maimaita abinda nace yana kokarin rabani da rigar "dan Allah ki rabu dani, albarkacin soyayyar da kika ce kina yi min ki rabu dani" 

Na sake kankame rigata, sai ya hadani ni da rigar ha rungume mu tsamtsam tare da kokarin tura ni baya in kwanta. Nayi saurin cewa "kaza ta. Ba ka dauko min kaza ta ba" farko yayi kamar bai ji ni ba, sai dana maimaita na kuma kara da cewa "in baka bani kaza ta ba kullum sai na yi maka gori ko yaya nawa zamu haifa" ya sauke ajjiyar zuciya sannan ya sake ni tare da dafe kai, sai kuma yace "ba dai kaza kike son ci ba? You know what? Guda biyu na siyo miki ma da yoghout, saboda a gurina kinfi karfin kaza daya. But tell me please, akwai abinnan ko babu" 

Na girgiza kaina "babu. Ka dauko min kazar ka dawo" naga yadda fuskarss tayi lighting up, "da gaske? Okay ki tashi kiyi alwala kafin in dauko, in na dawo nima sai in sake sai muyi sallah" na gyada kai da sauri shi kuma ya tashi jikinsa cike da kuzari ya fita. 

Na gyara rigata na zuge, na jiyo shi ya bude kofar waje ya fita sannan naji ya bude mota ya kuma rufe, ya sake dawowa naji yayi locking kofar palo,a lokacin ne na mike nima da sauri naje bakin kofa na saka mata lock sannan na zauna a gurin na jingina bayana da jikin kofar ina murmushin mugunta. Ba shi mugunta ba? Zai ga mugunta.

Ina jinsa ya shigo corridor din sannan ya murda handle din kofar dakin da nake ciki na kuma turo "damn it. Jidda open this door" nayi murmushi bance komai ba. "Na san kina jina, open this door idan ba haka ba in na kama ki sai na yayyanka neman ki na cinye" na danyi dariya still ban ce komai ba. 

Waya ta da take cikin handbag dina akan dresser ta fara kara da ringtone dinsa, na mike na dauko ta na zauna a bakin gado ina kallon sunan sa akan screen din "Umarul Faruq" na murguda baki na ajiye wayar na sauki ledar pad a cikin jaka ta na tafi toilet. Nasan ina dauka zaiyi min dadin bakin da zai saka in bude masa ni kuma gaskiya tsoron yadda yake yi dinnan nake ji. Ta yaya zai ce min in nuna masa period dina? How on earth can I do that?

Na chanja pad, na wanke make up din fuskata sannan na fito na chanja kaya. Still wayar tana ta kida abinta. Na gyara gadon na kashe fitila tare da yin mika gami da hamma, zanyi bacci na mai dadi kamar yadda nayi niyya. Na hau gado na ja bargo tare da daukan wayar. Nine missed calls and counting. Sai dai bai kuma kira ba sai message daya turo min. 

"Ko dai ki bude kofar nan ko kumada safe ki zama widow"

Nayi murmushi sannan na tura masa reply

"Naki din, waye yace ka saka min hannu a skirt kace sai kaga period dina"

"Na tuba nabi Allah da annabi na biki. Ba zan kuma tabaki ba ma. Ki bude min kawai kallonki zan zauna inyi tayi har gari ya waye"

"Haha. Ai ba yau aka haife ni ba"

"Kajin ki zasu huce" 

"Na bar maka, ka cinye"

"Dan Allah ki bude"

"Period nake yi"

"To ni a ina zan kwanta?"

"A dakin ka"

"Kofar ta lalace bata buduwa"

"Ka kwana a palo to"

"Babu katifa"

"Ka kwanta akan kujera"

"Dan Allah ki bude, da gaske nake fa mutuwa zanyi kafin safe" 

"Allah yaji kan ka, sai mun hadu a lahira"

"Dama ashe ba sona kike ba yaudara ta kike yi?"

"Goodnight" 

Sai na kashe wayar gabaki daya na ja bargo nayi kwanciya ta. Amma kuma sai na kasa baccin, ko yayi bacci? What if da gaske yake ba zai iya baccin ba? What if da gaske yake dakin sa yaki buduwa?

Na jima ina ta juyi a kan gado, babu irin tunanin da bana yi. A karshe na yaye bargon na mike na tafi bakin kofar ina lekawa ta keyhole, babu abinda na hango sai kofar dakin sa. Na bude lock din na murda kofar a hankali na leka kaina. Babu kowa a corridor din. Na fita na tsaya a kofar dakinsa sannan na leka ta keyhole. Ban hango komai ba. Na dora hannuna a handle sai kuma wata magana daya fada dazu ta fado min a raina, na cewa zan zo inyi begging dinsa, yanzu ina shiga zai iya juya maganar yace abinda nazo nema kenan. Kuma ya samu abin tsokana ta kenan.

Na saki handle din amma duk da haka sai na saka kunne na ina saurare, babu komai sai hucin ac, na gyada kai. Yayi baccin sa ma ni ce na damu kaina a kansa har na kasa bacci. 

Na juya na koma dakina na rufe.....

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*Episode Fifteen : The New Couple*

Ina komawa daki na mayar da lock dina sannan na hau gado nayi kwanciya ta.

Sai dai duk da gajiyar da nake tare da ita, da tabbatar wa da nayi cewa he is okay amma sai na kasa baccin, ko dan bakunta ne? Yawanci in naje bakon guri bana iya bacci har sai na saba da gurin tukunna. Sai da gari ya kusa wayewa sannan na samu bacci mai nauyi ya dauke ni kuma saboda rashin sallah ta sai nayi dogon bacci sosai har gari ya waye. Sanda na farka har rana ta fito sosai, sai dai duk da haka banji baccin ya ishe ni ba. 

Amma sai dai abu daya ne ya saka ni dole na tashi, wata azababbiyar yunwa da naji tana kwakular cikina. Na tashi na nemo sabon brush dina da na saka a karamar jaka ta, sai dai kuma babu toothpaste a toilet din kuma ban zo da shi ba. Haka na hakura na wanke bakin sai kuma nayi wanka na kawai gabaki daya na fito na gyara jikina na kuma shafa mai sannan na dauko doguwar riga zan saka sai kuma na fasa na dauko rigada skirt na atamfa na saka na feshe jikina da turare, ina tunanin sa a raina "ko ya tashi?" Nayi murmushi dana tuno da kalaman sa na cewa zai mutu kafin safe.

Sai kuma na tuno da kajin da ya shigo da su, nasan in ma zai ci ba zai iya cinyewa ba, Allah yasa basu yi komai ba in samu inci dan ba karamar yunwa nake ji ba. Har zan fita sai kuma na dawo na nemi hijab na saka, Umar ba kunya ce da shi ba babu ruwansa da cewa rana ce yanzu zai iya cewa zai taba ni. 

Na murda kofar a hankali na leka na tabbatar baya corridor din sannan na saka kafa ta cikin sanda na fita, na bude kofar falon na shiga a hankali ina dosar hanyar da zata kaini kitchen, maybe acan ya ajjiye kajin. 

Sai dai taku biyu nayi na ganshi.....

Yana kwance akan doguwar kujera, pillows every where, ya dauko standing pan ya tsayar da ita a kansa ga kuma uban sanyin acn da naji tana ratsa har cikin kashi na. Amma shi ko riga babu a jikin sa sai singlet da dogon wando, Daga yanayin kwanciyar sa na fahimci tun dare yake a haka bana jin ko sallah ya tashi yayi. 

Sai na fasa zuwa kitchen din na taho inda yake, na kashe fankar na janye ta ina fargabar in ba sa'a yayi ba sai mura ta kama shi dan ni already sanyin palon ya saka ni ina jina kamar mai zazzaɓi. Sai kuma na tsaya ina kare masa kallo, zuciya ta tana yaba kyawun halittar sa da yanayin kirar jikinsa, Sannan kuma raina yana kara jin tsoron sa. A lokacin na lura duk harken fuskar sa da nake gani fatar jikinsa tafi hashe Sannan kuma raina yana kara jin tsoron sa.

Na koma side din kansa a hankali na daki jikin kujerar. 

"Yaya Doctor?" 

Na sake daga murya 

"Yaya Doctor ka tashi fa.....ko kayi sallah ne? Rana ta fito fa" 

Ya dan motsa kadan sannan yayi juyi, yana zubar da some of the pillows daya jejjera akan kujerar, na dauki daya daga ciki na dan dake shi kadan. "Ka tashi fa....assalatu khairun minal...." Ya juyo ya watso min kallon daya saka na yar da pillow din na ja da baya d sauri, banason wannan jan idon nasa. 

Yace "go away. Kar ki sake min magana babu ruwana da ke" 

Ya mayar da kansa cikin pillow sannan ya dauki wani ya dora a saman fuskarsa.

Na dauki remote din AC dana gani a kusa da shi na fara neman yadda zan rage ta.

"Ka tashi dan Allah, kayi wanka da ruwa mai zafi kar kayi mura" 

Ya dauke pillown daya rufe fuskarsa da shi "don't act like you care. Bayan abinda kike yi min jiya" 

Na langwabe kai, "kayi hakuri yayana. Nima ba'a son raina hakan ta kasance ba ai na fada maka uzuri na" ya kara hade rai "ba'a son ranki ba? Ba da kafafuwanki kika tashi kika saka hannun ki kika rufe min kofa ba? A matsayi na na ango ace na kwana a falo akan kujera tare da pillow?"

Na rufe baki na saboda dariyar data taho min, ya kankance ido, "okay dariya ma na baki ko?" Na daga hannu ina rike dariyar "sorry dear. Ba dariya nake yi maka ba kawai dai......kayi hakuri please.....na dauka a dakin ka ka kwanta ai" yace "bana gaya miki kofar ta lalace ba" na dafe kai "na dauka ba da gaske kake ba ai"

Ya juya min baya yana mita "You locked your door and switched off your phone. Ko muryar ki ma baki barni naji ba. You are very cruel" 

Na zauna akan hannun kujerar ina jin babu dadi a zuciyata, he seemed to be truly angry with me. "To ba nace kayi hakuri ba, na gaya maka ai excuse dina tun jiyan amma kaki fahimta kace lallai sai ka gani. And you know me, ba zan ina nuna maka ba ka sani"

bai ce komai ba kuma bai juyo ba. Na dan saka pillow na dake shi kadan "kace ka hakura mana to......yaya zaka yi fushi dani ne wai washegarin bikin mu" ya juyo da sauri tare da mike wa zaune "ni kuma da kika rufewa kofa fa, on our first night, ki ka saka na kwana akan kujera" na sunkuyar da ido na kasa ina jin nauyin laifina "kayi hakuri please" 

Ya danyi shiru bai ce komai ba, but ina jin idonsa a kaina. Sai kuma naji yace "okay let's make a deal, kina so in yafe miki ko?" Na gyada kai. Yace "then earn it" na dago kai "earn what?" Yace "yafiyar. Ba a yin komai for free ai ko? Do something sai in yafe miki" nayi sensing wayo zaiyi min, na juya ido na nace "me zanyi in yi earning forgiveness din?" Ya jawo ni daga hannun kujerar na fado kan cinyarsa, nayi kokarin mikewa da sauri "na shiga uku" ya zagaye ni da hannayensa yana kara jawo ni jikinsa "baki shiga uku ba Baby girl, not yet" 

Na cigaba da kokarin mikewa tsaye, he tighten his grip dole na hakura na sauke ajjiyar zuciya ina kallon sa nace "to me zanyi a yafe min din?" Yayi murmushi, his first smile of the day "kiss me" na bude ido "what? Ya kashe min ido "simple. Kiss me, sai in tabbatar da gaske kina sona akwai kwakwkwaran dalilin da ya saka kika rufe min kofa".

Na girgiza kaina da sauri amma kafin inyi magana sai ya rigani yace "either you kiss me or I kiss you. Choose one" ya fada yana daidaita fuskarsa kusa da tawa, idonsa akan lips dina. 

Na saka hannayena biyu na rike fuskar sa sannan na tura ta baya ina dariya "wait wait wait. I will do it" yace "uhum, yanzu kika yi batu" nace "amma kasan dai ina jin kunyar ka ko? You have to close your eyes" 

Yace "okay. No problem" ya rufe idonsa har da kara jingina da jikin kujera yana relaxing, na tsara ina karewa fuskar sa kallo, ban taba kallonta so close to me ba sai ranar and sai naga tafi kyau up close, murmushin sa yana kara mata kyau,

Yace "waiting........." 

Nace "ban yarda da kai ba gaskiya, kana kallona ta kasan idonka, ya bude idon yana dariya "na rantse bana kallon ki" na harare shi "ba wani nan, ban yarda da kai ba" 

Sai na saka hannu na cikin hijab dina na ciro dankwali na sannan na ninke shi yayi kauri na daga shi nace "rufe idonka, sai na daure maka sannan zan tabbatar baka kallona" 

He obeyed and closed his eyes, ni kuma na daure masa idon da dankalin har na cije lebe dan in tabbatar ya dauru sosai, yayi dariya "mugunta ko?" 

Sai dana chuchchusa na tabbatar ba zai ganni ba sannan na kyale shi. Sai kuma na tsaya ina kallon sa, ina kallon lips dinsa da suka yi curving yana murmushi and I felt so tempted to kiss him, for a second a thought I was going to, amma sai na ture hannunsa da suka saki a kan cinyata na tashi da sauri zan fita da gudu, sai dai ko taku biyu ban yi ba ya damko ni da hannu daya ya dawo dani jikinsa, then with one move ya juya zaman mu na koma nice a kan kujerar shi kuma ya bini da jikinsa, then with the other hand ya cire daurin da nayi wa idonsa. 

"Gotcha" 

ya fada yana dariya "yarinya kin mutu murus, ni zaki yaudara twice? Dama ance ko shaidan yana tsoron mata gashi daa jiya zuwa yau kin nuna min sau biyu" na fara karkarwa, ina jin nauyin sa kamar zai rugurguza kashina. "Na shiga uku, wayyo Umma, dan Allah kayi hakuri ba zan kuma yaudarar ka ba"

Yace "ai ba uku kadai kika shiga ba, tara kika shiga, uku sau uku kenan" ya fada yana rabani da hijab dina, na sake pleading, "dan Allah ka rabu dani" yayi wani murmushin da ba zan iya fassara ma'anar sa ba sannan yace "zan rabu dake if you ask me again in the next two hours"

Na bude baki zanyi protesting ya mayar min da magana ta zuwa cikina ta hanyar rufe bakina da nasa, na fara kokawa a hankali ita ma kokawar ta kare na koma nayi lakwas, falling inti his spell, abinda yake ta burin gani tun jiya sai da ya gani din ya tabbatar ba karya nake yi masa ba sannan bar forbidden place din amma wannan bai hana shi exploring other places ba, na barshi ya kama ni yayi leading dina to places, the places that I never knew existed sai da ya nuna min and gladly showed me around.

He took us out of this world, to cloud eleven, ya dawo damu and then decided to go back again. A hanya ne naji kamar ana buga kofa a cikin kaina, I decided to ignore it amma sai aka sake bugawa, this time har da kiran sunana akayi da dan karfi, and I finally came back to my senses sannan ne ma nayi realising what was happening. I realized situation din da muke ciki sannan na fahimci wani ne a bakin kofar falon da muke ciki yake knocking kofar yana kiran sunana, after some seconds na fahimci muryar Mufida sai kuma naji kamar ba ita kadai ba ce ba. 

Cikin azama nayi kokarin raba shi da jikina, shi bai ma san me akeyi ba daga dukkan alamu, a tattara karfi na gabaki daya na ture shi baya sannan na zame daga kasansa na koma bayan kujera na buya "na shiga uku" ma fada ina rufe bakina da hannu na. 

Shi kanshi bansan da wanne ido zan kalle shi ba ballantana kannensa da suke kokarin shigowa falon. Na kalli jikina, realising daga bra ta har rigata sunyi disappearing, I couldn't believe I let him see what he saw, and do what he did "Na shiga uku" na maimaita ina kokarin jan skirt fina zuwa sama amma yaki cooperating 
jin haushin zuciyar data bani shawarar saka riga da skirt. 

Naji yayi kokarin magana daga kan kujerar, muryar sa taki fitowa sai da yayi gyaran murya sannan yace "waye ne wai anan?" Naji muhibbat tace "yaya Doctor mune, ni da Mufida" yayi tsaki "go away! Me kukeyi anan ne wai" Mufida tace "Mama ce ta aiko mu" 

Ya sake tsaki "go away I said, ko baku gane turanci ne yanzu kuma? Don't let me come out there in same ku a gurin nan" muhibbat tace "breakfast ne fa Mama tayi muku tace a kawo muku"

"Ku ajiye anan ku tafi" 

Suka yi shiru duk su biyun, duk I can sense basu tafi din ba, sai Mufida tace "to yaya ina son magana da Jidda fa, akwai abinda zan nuna mata" yace "in kuka bari na fito na same ku a gurin nan sai na yanka namanku na cinye"

Nayi murmushi ina daga bayan kujera, sararsa kenan yace zai yanka mutum ya cinye. Ina jin motsin su suka tafi sai kuma naji karar tashin mota da bude gate, nayi mamakin yadda akayi bamuji shigowar su ba. 

Shiru ya biyo bayan tafiyar su, ni in ta leke ta gefen kujera ina son inga inda hijab dina yake, dan shine kadai zai taimaka min a halin da nake ciki, ina kuma fatan kar umar ya zagayo bayan kujerar ya ganni. 

Can na hango hijab din da nisa, babu yadda za'a yi hannuna yaje inda yake. Me zanyi ne kuma yanzu......

Option dina daya shine in roke shi ya miko min. Amma da wacce fuska zanyi masa magana? 

Na danyi gyaran murya kadan "yaya Doctor?" Naji shiru bai amsa ba duk da na tabbatar in yana falon zaiji, to ko ya fita ne ban sani ba? Na kara daga murya na kira shi, wata zuciyar tana gaya gaya min ko ya koma bacci ne, amma anya kuwa? Na kuma kira "Umar?" 

Daga saman kujerar naji yace "Yes, Baby" na daga kai a tsorace, ya leko da kansa ta saman kujerar harda yin tagumi da hannun sa yana kallona, nayi kara tare da dunkule wa a guri daya, "na shiga uku" na fada da karfi, yayi dariya, "wai sau nawa zaki shiga uku ne daga wayewar gari zuwa yanzu" 

Na kara dunkule wa covering as much of my body as I can. "Dan Allah ka daina kallona, dan Allah ka bani hijab dina in saka" yace "a nawa? Na gaya miki yanzu an daina aikin banza. A nawa zan dauko miki hijab din?" Nace "dan Allah ai nace" 

Sai nji ya sauka daga kan kujerar yana cewa "tunda kika ce Allah ai kin gama komai yarinya" ya dauki min ya miko min, sai kuma na kasa mika hannu na in karba, "kar bi mana?" Ya fada yana min murmushin mugunta, hawaye ya tarar min a ido "dan Allah ka ajiye a kasa, sai ka juya bayanka, ko kuma ka tafi dakin ka, ko ka tafi koma ina ne please just don't look at me" 

Ya ajiye "shikenan cry cry Baby. Na tafi in dai Umar ne" sai dana tabbatar ya shiga corridor din da bedrooms din mu suke ya rufe kofa sannan na dauki hijab din na saka. Jikina har rawa yake yi. What have I done? Wannan abin kunya da me yayi kama?

A hanya na tsince tarkacen kayana da singlet dinsa, sannan na tafi dakina da sauri na rufe kofa na jingina da jikinta ina mayar da numfashi, sai kuma na kama zabga murmushi kamar tababbiya, na rufe idona tare da rungume kayan mu a kirji na ina bitar duk abinda ya faru, so shameful but so good.

Toilet na wuce na gyara jikina sannan na dawo dakin na mayar da kayana na kuma gyara dakin duk da ba wani gyara yake bukata sosai ba. 

Yunwar da nake ji ta saka ni sake fitowa a raina ina fatan ba zamu kuma haduwa ba, na wuce na bude kofar palon sannan na dauko kayan abincin da na gani a gurin, na tuna da su Mufida ina lissafin abinda zasuyi tunani a matsayin dalilin da yasa Umar ya hana su shigowa. 

Na shigo da kayan na wuce dining na jera su sannan na dauko abubuwan bukata a kitchen na kawo. Sai dana tabbatar komai ya kammala sannan na zauna na hada tea sannan na zuba chips da kwai dana gani acikin abincin da aka kawo na faraci da sauri saboda yunwar da take kwakular cikina, sannan kuma ina fatan in gama kafin dodo na ya fito. 

Tunanin sa ya saka ni murmushi na rasa son sa nake, tsoronsa nake ji ko kuma kewarsa nake yi. Duk loma sai na daga kai na kalli hanyar da nake saka ran ganin ya biyo,amma ban san ko so nake ya fito din ko kuma bana so ya fito. A cikin satar kallon gurin da nake yi ne naga ya bude kofar ya fito, na kware da tea din da nake kurba.

Nayi saurin dauke kaina daga side dinsa amma image dinsa ya tsaya min a rai na. Wando ne a cikin sa three quarters da sleeveless riga, fuskar sa tayi fresh kamar wanda ya shafa hoda, gashin kansa yana kalli daga alama gyara shi yayi. But duk wannan bai ko kama kafar kyawun murmushin da yake kwance akan fuskarsa ba.

Ban yi magana ba har ya karaso ya zauna a kujerar kusa da tawa, na mike da sauri zan chanja guri sai ya saka hannayensa a waist dina ya jawo ni zuwa cinyarsa. "Na shiga uku" na fada ina kokarin sake mikewa. Ya dawo dani tare da cizon earlobe dina, nayi kara ina rike kunnen "in kika sake motsawa sai na kara miki wani, ba kuma lallai nan zan ciza ba next time" 

Na murguda masa baki "wallahi sai na rama, dani kake zancen" yace "zanso kuwa inga ranar da zaki rama din. Sai dai ki rame ba dai ki rama ba" ya fara wasa da hannun sa a jikina cikin tsokana. Yace "ki rama in zaki iya" 

Na shagwabe "yunwa nake ji dan Allah. Ka barni inci abinci please" ya jawo plate din dana zuba yace "same here, nima yunwar nake ji" 

Muka ci abincin sosai, a plate daya, tea ma nawa ya shanye min nace sai ya biya ni sai ya hada mana wani muka sake sha tare, and I found that kunyar ta dan ragu bana jin kamar zan mutu. 

Bayan mun gama ci ne ya jani muka tafi zagaya gida, muka duba ko'ina kuma a kowanne daki muna lissafin abinda muke ganin zamu chanja da kuma abinda za'a kara dan tsarin yafi kyau, kusan taste din mu duk iri daya ne a duk abubuwa, muka fita har waje and i found spot din dana ke ganin zanyi shuke shuke a ciki, "kamar na'ana'a, lemon grass, Ginger, lemon tsami, tumatur da attaruhu" ya amince sannan ya tabbatar min zai saka a samo min seedlings din sannan kuma a saka min taki a gurin. 

Muna komawa ciki na tarar wayata tana ta kara a palo, na dauka sannan na rike baki. "Na shiga uku. Mufida ce, ni ban san me zance mata ba wallahi" ya karbi wayar daga hannuna and without saying anything to me ya amsa kiran "ki daina kiran ta haka, she is busy, sanda take free zata kira ki" 

Na dora hannu aka, kafin inyi magana ya riga ni "na shiga uku" ya fada yana kwaikwayon magana ta. 

Na dauki pillow zan dake shi ya rike hannun sai na dauko wani da daya hannun shima yayi sauri ya rike da daya hannunsa sai muka fara kokawa, na samu na cije shi a kunne irin yadda yayi min dazu, ya sake ni ya rike gurin nayi masa gwalo na fita a guje ya kamo ni ya hada ni da bango sannan ya matse ni da jikinsa muna haki a tare, sai kuma muka kama dariya. 

Yace "Saura kwana uku ko?" Na juya ido na "saura kwana biyar" ya zaro ido "rinto zaki yi min? Jiya fa kika ce hudu yau ba saura uku ba" na tura shi baya "jiya shida nace maka, baka ji bane sosai" nayi kokarin guduwa ya dawo dani "na fahimci wannan yarinyar yawo zata yi min, I will have to be checking daily" 

Na langwabe kai "yanzu baka yarda dani ba? Allah in na gama zan gaya maka" ya shafa side din fuskata zuwa wuya na and he kept going down. "In dai akan wannan maganar ne ban yarda dake ba, I lost my trust in you jiya da kika rufe min kofa, na fara kokarin fito da hannun sa daga cikin rigata amma maimakon yayi hakan sai ma ya hade bakin mu.

Da yamma ma an kawo mana lunch, a bakin kofa ta ajiye again sannan tayo min text

"Amarya. Ga abinci nan a waje, mu ajiye har dinner dan ba zan sake muku wani girkin ba. Sannan ga drinks nan inji Mama tace saboda baki, though in bakin sunzo ba lallai ne ku bude musu kofa ba" 

Na karanta na mika wa Umar "ka ga abinda ka jawo min ko? Har abada ba zata daina tsokana ta ba" 

Tare da shi muka fita muka shigo da abincin, sai muka tarar da cartoons na lemoka kala kala, muka kawo su duk store sannan muka goge fridge din da ko jona shi ba'a yi ba sai yanzu muka kunna muka zuba wasu daga drinks din, sai a lokacin naga kaji na na amarci, Allah yaso sanyi ne babu abinda suka yi, na saka a microwave na dumama, duk abinda nake yi yana makale a jikina, duk inda na dauke kafata a nan yake mayarwa yana yi min hira kuma yana using duk opportunity din daya samu gurin taba ni, in nayi mita sai yace aiki yake tayani, a karshe nace na yafe da tayin aikin amma yaki tafiya, a karshe dai a kitchen din muka yi lunch sannan mukayi wanke wanke, na tafi daki ya sake bina can ma, da kyar na zare shi daga jiki na na shiga wanka. 

Sanda na fito baya nan, dan haka na samu na shirya a tsanake na tsara irin kwalliyar da na jima ina mafarkin zanyi wa mijina in nayi aure. Ni kaina nayi wa kaina da kaina kyau. Sai dai bansan me nene zai zamo outcome din kyalliyar tawa ba.

Ina fita falo yana shigowa, ashe fita yayi, yayo mana filling gas cylinder, ya siyo kayan tea sannan ya siyo attaruhu da albasar da yaji nace da da akwai da nayi peppe kitchen da kajin da nayi warming. Ya kuma siyo min pad, duk da ban nuna masa ina so ba amma yasan ba zan gaya masa din ba ko da ina bukata. 

Ya saki ledar hannunsa yana kallona da sakakken baki, na danyi juyi a gabansa "nayi maka kyalliya. Nayi kyau?" Bai amsa ba sai ya taho inda nake, and he made sure yayi destroying dukkan kyalliyar kafin na kwace na shiga daki na rufe kofa. Ya zo ya tsaya a bakin kofar ya murda handle din sannan yace "dole ma inyi wani abu akan kofar nan"

Washegari kusan wuni muka yi da baki, yan'uwan Mama sunzo da yawan su Allah ya taimake ni su Mufida ma sun dawo dan haka suka taya ni karbar su, na dan samu sassauci daga takurawar Faruq saboda ganin idon mutane ya rage wasu abubuwan amma ba duka ba, bai damu daya rike hannuna ko ya jawo ni jikinsa a gabansu ba, sai dai ni in naji kunya in ture shi ko in matsa. 

A lokacin ne naga Hafsat, ex girlfriend din Umar itama tazo har da babyn ta, kuma naji dadin yadda ta sake dani muka yi ta hira ina bata labarin makaranta da yake itama wai da taso school of nursing kuma bata samu ba. Ko a fuskar ta banga wani abu ba, ba dan Umar ya gaya min ita ce ba ma da ba zan sani ba. 

The next day kuma yan uwan Baba ne suka zo suma a bisa rakiyar kannen Umar, basu jima ba su sosai suka tafi sai kuma yaya Mubaraka tazo da girls dinta su uku, ta bar su anan guri na ma taje unguwa ta dawo sannan ni da Umar muka je muka kaita gida a motarsa. She is very nice and friendly.  

A wadannan ziyarorin ne na ga yanuwansa sosai, dan da bikin ban wani fahimci kowa da kowa ba. Kuma na fahimci yadda yake faram faram da su kuma suma yadda suke ji da shi, daga dukkan alamu he is everyone's favorite.

Now, kullum Umar yana cikin lissafi "yau saura kwana daya" nace "uku dai, baka ji sosai ba lokacin" ya tabe baki "dan Allah ki gaya min gaskiya, da gaske shida kika ce dama ba hudu ba?" Nace "eh mana, baka ji dai dai ba" ya dafe kai "oh Allah, ni kuma tawa kaddarar kenan, Allah ka bani ikon cin wannan jarabawar"

Nayi dariyar yadda yayi addu'ar kamar wanda yake facing wani mummunan challenge, bayan sosai yake barje gumin sa dan banbancin sa da wanda ya samu full package kadan ne. Ina jin ma da ya samu din da sai yafi rangwanta min. 

Ranar da na cika four days a gidan a ranar nayi wanka kamar yadda lissafi na yake, amma ko da wasa ban bari ya sani ba sai ma na saka pad da fatan in ya taba yaji zai hakura. Na kuma buya nayi sallolina ba tare da ya sani ba. A haka muka kwana, washegari kuma sai yace in shirya zai kaini gidan su in gaida Mama da Baba dan zasu koma Lagos. 

Na shirya muka je, na kuma samu kyakkyawar tarba a gurin su musamman Mama da ta ringa ririta ni tana loda min kayan ciye ciye. Baba kuma har da tsokana ta wai nayi farin amarci. Dan haka lafiya lau nayi musu yini har magrib, a lokacin ne kuma mistake din ya faru, ina cikin sallar ni kadai a dakin Aunty Umar ya bude kofa ya shigo, ina sallar amma naji kamshin turaren sa nan take zuciyata ta tsinke, ta kuma fara lugude a kurjina.

Ya jima a tsaye yana kallona har na idar, nayi ta jan doguwar addu'a a sujjada ta wai ko zai gaji ya fita amma sai na ji ya ja kujerar gaban madubi ya zauna. Dole na dago na sallame. Na kasa dago kai na in kalle shi sai yace "uhum. Start explaining" nayi shiru yace "kwana nawa kenan?" Na daga masa dan yatsa daya, yace "ban yarda ba, maybe ma tun farko babu" na dago kai da sauri "wallahi Allah jiya ne kadai" yace "jiya da yau" ban amsa ba sai ya mike. 

"Ki tashi kiyi musu sallama. We are going home now"

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*Episode Sixteen : Ummi*

Kafin in bashi amsa ya bude kofa ya fita, na jima a zaune, na kasa ma yin addu'a dan lugude kawai kirjina yake yi, anya kuwa sauran amare haka suke jin tsoro irin wannan? Anya kuwa ni nawa tsoron bai yi yawa ba? 

Amma kuma shima kansa Umar din is not helping matters at all, shine ma yake kara tsorata ni wallahi. Misali yanzu, menene na wani cewa in tashi mu tafi yanzu, making me think of what will happen in munje gidan. 

Na tashi na nade sallayar sannan na fara kokarin gyara fuska ta. Aunty ta shigo "ashe tafiya zakuyi Jidda? Yanzu naji Umar ya aiko wai ki fito in kin kammala" 

Na dauke kaina gefe na juya idona, wato yasan in ya aiko zasu matsamin in fita tunda yana jira na,amma in ba haka ba ai ya gaya min already kuma zai iya kirana a wata ya sake tuna min. 

Na juyo ina kirkirar murmushi, "eh Aunty, tafiya zamu yi" sai ta jani muka zauna a bakin gadon ta sannan ta jawo drawer ta dauko wata leda ta miko min "kinga wannan sister ta ce ta kawo min, sai naga da amare yafi dacewa shine nace bara in baki" na karba jikina yana bani ko menene a ciki, nayi mata godiya.

Sai kuma ta sake karba ta bude tana yi min bayanin yadda ake using. "Kinga wannan ma ance kamar yanzu za'a sha, bara in hada miki ki shanye kafin ku tafi dan in nace in kunje ki sha ba lallai ne ki sha ba" ta fita sannan sai gata ta dawo da cup a hannun ta ta bani ta ce in shanye, ina cikin sha ya shigo dakin yana duba agogon hannun sa, Aunty tace "gata nan zuwa sarkin gaggawa, wannan kai da maye ne in ka kama mutum sai ka kai shi lahira zaka rabu dashi" sai yayi murmushi kawai bai ce komai ba ya fita.

Muka fito palo nayi wa Mama sallama, sai ta bani wata leda ita ma ta gaya min spices ne a ciki na girki, "in akwai wani abun da kuke bukata a gidan ki kira auntyn ku ki gaya mata, kar ki kira gida, shi kuma in kin gaya masa ba lallai ya san inda zai samo muku wani abun ba, a hankali kema zaki san inda zaki samu komai. Na bayar ma za'a yi muku garin kunu tunda yana so, za'a aiko muku da shi" na durkusa nayi mata godiya na kuma yi mata fatan Allah ya kiyaye hanya.

Afnan tazo ta zauna a kusa dani tana yi min rada "Aunty zan biki kinji?" Na shafa kanta nace "maza dauko kayanki mu tafi" sai ta mike da sauri tana murna "mommy ki hada min kayana aunty Jidda ta yarda zan bita" Affan ya mike "wallahi nima sai naje mommy" Aunty ta girgiza kai "kuna da school gobe, ku bari sai da weekend sai kuje kuyi musu two days" Mama tace "da weekend din ma suna da islamiyya, sai dai in anyi hutu" suka fara rikici, sai na rarrashe su da cewa ai an yi hutun sai suje suyi min two weeks. 

Sai dana fadi haka sannan suka fara murna, a lokacin ne kuma naji ana maganar Ummi ita ma bata nan akayi bikin sai anyi hutu zamu hadu, ban gane wacce Ummi suke nufi ba kuma ban tambaya ba.

Umar ya sake lekowa. Ya tsaya kawai a bakin kofa ya saka hannu a aljihu yana kallon mu. Hajiya ta taba ni "tashi maza ku tafi yana jiran ki, kinsan unguwar ku da nisa" ina mikewa ta kwalla wa Mufida kira tace tazo ta karbi kayan hannuna sannan ta dauko mana abinci a kitchen mu tafi dashi tunda bamu yi dinner ba. Mufida ta fara buga kafa tana shagwaba, "Mama ita ta dauko mana da kanta" Aunty tayi dariya "yayarki ce dai yanzu ko kin ki ko kinso" ta juyo tana harara ta ni kuma na yi mata gwalo sannan na sake yiwa su Mama sallama na fita. 

Yana cikin mota a zaune, sai na tsaya a jikin motar ban shiga ba, na sauke glass yana kallona amma bai yi magana ba, nace "Mufida nake jira, zata kawo min kaya inji Mama" sai ya dage glass din. Sai naji ni bana son wannan shirun nasa, fushi yake yi dani na sani. Na hadiye yawun tsoro.

Mufida ta fito tare da Muhsina, suka saka mana kayan a mota sannan mukayi sallama na bude gaba na shiga na rufe. 

Bai ce min komai ba ya tayar da motar muka fita muka hau titi, na juya ina kallon sa ta hasken street light ina jujjuya hannuna nace "kayi hakuri" ya juyo yana kallo na "hakurin me fa?" Na mayar da kaina kasa, "naga kamar kayi fushi ne" yace "fushin me zanyi?" Nace "akan abinda nayi" yace "me kika yi" na ji kamar zanyi kuka "dana boye maka gaskiya" yace "gaskiyar me fa?" Na fara yarfa hannu na "aika san maganar da nake yi wallahi kawai so kake ka nuna baka sani ba" 

Yace "so nake inji kin fadi laifin ki da bakin ki. Kin kuma amsa cewa kin yi laifi kin yarda kuma cewa baki kyauta min ba" nace "to ai na yarda ban kyauta din ba shi yasa na baka hakuri ai, kuma ina sake baka hakuri. Allah ya baka hakuri" yayi shiru yana kallon gabansa. 

Na fara share hawaye na "sau nawa zan baka hakuri ne to wai ba zaka hakura ba?" Ya juyo yana kallona yana jin sautin kuka a muryata. Sai ya danyi murmushi yace "cry cry Baby. Zan hakura mana, amma ba yanzu ba. Ask me again tomorrow morning zaki ji nace miki na hakura" 

Na gane abinda yake fada, sai kuma naji damuwar rashin yin hakurin sa ya tafi tsoro kuma ya dawo min. Na jawo kafafuwa na kan kujera na nannade su a cikin skirt dina na kwanta a jikin kofar mota na rufe ido na. 

Ina jin motar ta tsaya, na bude ido na na gan mu a kofar wani guri da ban gane ba, sai kuma na lura kamar gurin sayar da gasassun kaji ne, ya bude ya fita bayan mintuna kadan ya dawo da leda ya saka a seat din baya. Kamshi ya cika motar gabakidaya amma ni sai naji kamar hawa min kai kamshin yake, sam banji ina son cin kazar ba, dan gabakidaya bani da appetite.

Ya tayar da motar muka dauki hanyar gida, yayi horn mai gadi ya bude muka shiga yayi packing ya kashe motar. Na dago kai ina kallon sa, ina jin alamar kamar zazzaɓi yana neman rufe ni nace "in na roke ka nace ka hakura da wannan abin zaka hakura?" Sai naga yayi dariya har yana dafe kansa, na bata rai ina jin haushin dariyar sa yace "my dear sweet Jidda. No. Ko kin bani hakuri ba zan hakura ba saboda babu laifin da kika yi min. Ni wannan abin da kike yi ma in baki sani ba shi yake kara min son abin" 

Na harare shi ina magana kasa kasa "kayi dariyar ka ka gama, tunda bai kashe kowa ba nima ba zai kashe ni ba" ya juyo sosai sannan ya kama hannayena biyu ya damke a cikin nasa yace 

"look at me Jidda. Trust me, ina neman alfarmar kamar yadda kika danka min zuciyarta ki daure ki danka min kijinki shima and I will not hurt either of them. I will not hurt you Jidda. I promise I will never hurt you"

Na lumshe idona na bude. Ya dawo da hannayenmu a tare zuwa fuskata yana goge dan guntun hawaye daya fito a kasan idona. 

Ya na kallona cikin ido yace "I can't do it in ranki baya so, in hawaye yana fita daga idonki. Duk matsuwar da nayi da ke Jidda in baki ce kin amince ba ba zan miki komai ba. Zan cigaba da kallon ki ina lallabaki har sai kin ce min kin amince. That's how much I love you" 

Na cire idona daga nasa na sauke su kasa, sannan a hankali naji tsoron dake raina ya ragu, gyada kai na "na amince"

Yayi alƙawarin cewa he will not hurt me, but he did, it hurts alot at first har sai da nayi tunanin ajali na ne yazo and then he took away the pain with the pleasures ta yadda har sai da nayi tunanin babu wani sauran pain a duniya. Nayi tunanin babu sauran komai a duniya sai abinda muke yi, na kuma yi tunanin babu sauran kowa a duniya sai shi. 

A ranar ya mallaki jikina ya mayar da shi nasa, kamar yadda ya mallaki zuciyata ya mayar da ita tasa. 

Wannan dare ne da bazan taba mantawa dashi ba a tsahon rayuwata.....

Ban san sanda muka yi bacci ba, amma nasan nayi dogon bacci dan ban farka ba sai da rana ta fito sosai. Shima kuma feeling din cewa rana ta fito ne da kuma feeling din ana kallona ne ya tashe ni. 

Na bude idona a hankali, sannan na sauke su a cikin nasa. Yana kwance a kusa dani, kansa a kan pillow na, fuskarsa kusa da tawa, sannan idonsa akai na. Ina bude ido na yayi min murmushi. Zan iya rantsewa ban taba ganin murmushi akan fuskar sa mai kyawun da yakai na ranar ba. 

Na jawo hannayena da sauri na rufe fuskata nima ina murmushi, sai ya rankafo yayi kissing goshina sannan ya saka hannu yana gyara min gashina daya baje akan pillow yace "tun dazu nake ta so in gyara gashin nan, hannuna har kaikayi yake yi amma bana son in tashe ki because you looked so beautiful when sleeping and I love you so much. Maybe a little bit too much. Ina so ki sani cewa daren jiya is the best night of my life so far, ban sani ba ko akwai wani daren da zanfi so fiye dashi nan gaba, in ma akwai inajin daren da zaki haifa min kyakykyawar baby irin ki ne" ya fada yana shafa karan hanci na sannan ya goga nasa akan nawa. 

"Na gode Jidda. You gave my everything that I have ever dreamt of. Duk abinda nake so kuma nake da burin samu na samu anan wajen. Ina fatan Allah ya biya ki da aljanna ni kuma ya bani ikon faranta miki kamar yadda kika faranta min. Nagode" 

Ya dauke hannayena dana rufe idona dasu sannan yayi kissing idanuwan da suke a rufe. Na bude su ina kallon sa, ina jin sonsa yana kokarin yiwa zuciyata yawa nace "godiyar me kake yi ne wai? Me na baka da zaka gode min? Dama ai naka ne. Abin ka ne da nake ajjiye maka kuma kazo ka karbi abinka. My heart and my body are yours, na Umar ne shi kadai" 

Ya dora goshinsa akan nawa, hancinsa akan nawa ya rufe idonsa sannan a hankali shima yace "my heart and my body are yours. Na Jidda ne ita kadai" 

And then he kissed me. 

Hasken ranar daya matso kan fuskokin mu ne yasa na janye fuskata daga tasa tare da kare hasken da hannuna. "Rana ta fito ba muyi sallah ba" na fara kokarin mikewa sai dai wani suka da naji a kasana ce ta sakani komawa in kwanta tare da yin yar karamar kara. Sai yanzu na tuna da pain din da naji jiya, har yanzu yana nan sai ma tsami da gurin yayi yanzu. Ga karin cinyoyi na da suke ciwo kamar wadda nayi tsallen kwado, sannan ga cikina kamar anyi min yasa, bayan abinci ma kamar harda hanjina aka hada aka kwashe. 

"Oops, sorry baby" 

Sai kuma yayi dariya. Na juya na harare shi "dariya ma kake yi min ko?" Ya daina dariyar sannan yayi fuskar tausayi "sorry dear, ni ne ko? Ki bar ni da ni zan yi maganin ni. Bulala nawa kike so nayi wa ni?" Na fara matso hawaye duk da bana gaskiya bane ba. Ya mike "sorry sorry, don't start with the crying please. I am going to take care of you" ya sauka daga kan gadon, nayi sauri na rufe idona saboda lura da nayi ashe babu komai a jikinsa, amma na kasa cire image din daga raina.

Ya shiga toilet sai kuma ya fito "babu ruwan zafi a toilet din nan ashe. Bara in duba toilet dinki" na dan bude idona kadan sai kuma na sake mayarwa na rufe. "Please ka saka wani abun a jikin ka" ina jin shi yana dariya sannan ya fadi wani abu da banji sosai ba sannan naji ya bude kofa ya fita. 

Na sauke ajjiyar zuciya na bude ido na ina kallon hotonsa da yake dakin, sanye da kayan su na doctors da stretescope a wuyan sa, fuskarsa dauke da murmushi. Nima nayi murmushin ina ji kamar babu wadda ta kaini dace da miji a duniya. 

Ina jin motsin sa na mayar da idona na rufe, yace "can din ma babu, but na kunna yanzu. Bara in kunna anan ma. Let me get you something to eat kafin ruwan yayi" na dan bude ido naga ya saka jallabiya, sai ya kunna heater sannan ya sake fita. Few minutes ya dawo da tray a hannunsa ya ajiye sannan ya fara kokarin tashina zaune ni kuma nayi ta zuba masa shagwaba, sai da ya hada min pillows da kuma jikinsa na jingina sannan na tashi ya bani cup din tea daya hada min mai kauri na karba na shanye tas, ya daga hannu "to kin shanye tea din da me zaki ci bread din kuma?" Na langwabe "wani zaka hada min".

Ya dauki cup din "an gama ranki ya dade" sai ya koma ya hado wani ya dawo, sannan ya dauki bread ya shafa min butter na kuma cinye na sake shanye tea din. Ya dauke tray din ya fita dashi sai gashi da apple ya kawo min,shima nace ba zanci ba sai ya yayyanka min, ya koma ya dauko wuka da plate ya zauna yana yanka min ina ci har na cinye. 

Sai da na gama sannan nace "banyi brush ba fa" yace "kar ki damu, nayi miki already" 

Toilet ya koma ya hada min ruwa sannan ya dawo yana tattare hannun rigarsa da murmushi a fuskarsa. "Yauwa, lokacin yiwa baby wanka yayi" na bude ido "wa za'a yi wa wankan?" Ya kashe min ido, "wai da" kafin in sake magana ya yaye bargon, nayi kokarin tashi da sauri sai kuma nayi kara ina rike waist dina da naji shima ashe ciwon yake yi. 

Dole na hakura ina ji ina gani ya dauke ni zuwa toilet, ya saka ni a cikin ruwan zafin da naji kamar ya zuba jajjagaggen attaruhu a ciki, na rike shi kam ina jin ruwan yana shiga kofar da da take a rufe sai jiya aka bude ta, jikina har karkarwa yake yi shi kuma yana ta jera min sannu, a hankali kuma sai na fara jin dadin ruwan sai na sake shi na koma na kwanta. Ina jinsa ya fita. 

Ban jima sosai ba saboda sallah da nake ta tunanin banyi ba. Na tsarkake jiki na sannan nayi wanka na tsarki dana sabulu. Na dauko toothbrush dinsa, a raina ina tuna ranar da yace zamu yi sharing toothbrush da toilet, nayi murmushi sannan na saka paste nayi brush sannan na daura towel dinsa na dafa bango na fita. 

Baya dakin amma naga alamar ya gyara bed din, duk da dai kana gani zaka fahimci cewa wanda yayi gyaran gadon bai iya ba, bani da kaya a dakinsa dan haka na tafi dakina na lallaba na saka riga da hijab nayi sallah ina jin guilty feeling a raina na rashin sallah da wuri. 

Bayan na idar na tashi na shirya cikin riga da wando masu fadi wadanda basu takura jikina ba amma sunyi min kyau sosai kuma sun fitar da shape dina sosai. Na gyara gashina na daure shi a keyata sannan na gyara fuskata lighly. Na bude kofa na fita palo duk da cewa da kyar nake daga kafata amma tunani na Umar, ko ya ci abinci?

Ina shiga palon yana shigowa shima daga waje, da leda a hannunsa, yazo ya kamani "wa yace ki tashi ne wai. Ke fa patient dina ce yanzu" ya zaunar dani akan kujera sannan ya dauko robar ruwa ya bude min ya kuma dauko ledar daya shigo da ita ya ballo min magungunan da suke ciki. Ina gama sha ya kwantar dani akan kujera tare da saka min pillow, shi kuma ya zauna a gabana yana shafa fuskata. 

"Don't worry, zaki yi bacci idan kika farka kuma zaki ji ciwon duk ya tafi. Kar ki manta, you have a doctor waiting on you dan haka baki da wani problem"

Na lumshe idona ina masa murmushi, realising cewa harda maganin bacci ya hada min ban sani ba. Ko minti daya banyi ba kuwa baccin ya dauke ni

Cikin baccin naji kamar muryar Farhan tana magana da Umar, na dan bude idona kadan sai na ganta a tsaye tare da Amira, nayi kokarin tashi amma kaina yayi min nauyi sai na mika mata hannu "Farhan" ta karaso inda nake ta rike hannuna 

"Amarya. Kar dai baki da lafiya ne, mu da muka zo ziyara" bance komai ba Umar yace "eh bata jin dadi. But tasha magani kuma na bata maganin bacci dan ta huta sosai. Ku barta tayi baccin in ta tashi zata ji dadi sosai" daga nan na koma bacci na.

Sanda na kuma farkawa wajen karfe biyu, naga Amira tana zaune da remote a hannunta tana kallo, na dafe kaina tare da kokarin tashi zaune ina cije lebe da tunanin zanji ciwo a kasa na amma sai naji babu kamar yadda nayi tsammani, sai dan ciwon jiki kadan da kuma wani feeling na yaji yaji a kasan. 

Amira ta gaishe ni tayi min sannu sannan naga Farhan ta fito daga kitchen, ita ma tayi min sannu sai na tashi na shiga toilet nayi alwala nazo nayi sallah ta. Ina idarwa Farhan ta zubo mana abinci muka hadu muka ci, tana ta yi min labarin gida da abubuwan da suke latest a gidan "Abba ya bawa yaya shamsu da yaya Aminu kudi zasu shiga kasuwanci da sunan sa, duk wata zasu ke kawo masa abinda aka samu na riba" na gyada kai cikin fahimta. Sai dai ina fatan bai yi mistake ba, saboda su din masu iyali ne kuma naji ance ba'a trusting namiji mai iyali da kudi, amma bance komai akan hakan ba dan bana son Farhan tayi min mummunar fassara.

Ni kuma na bata labarin yanuwan Umar da suka zo min ziyara da kuma zuwan mu gidan su. Ta matso kusa dani tana yi min rada "to wannan rashin lafiyar fa? Anya kuwa ta gaskiya ce?" Ta karasa tana kashe min ido, na dake ta a kafada ina dariya sai tace "dan Allah bani labari, ya kika ji? Da ciwo sosai" she looked concern sai na tuna da nima nawa tsoron. 

Sai na girgiza mata kai, "ba irin ciwon da muke tunani bane ba fa, da ciwo dai amma ba sosai can ba. Ba irin wanda muke karantawa a novels bane ba, ba'a suma kuma ba'a wani fitar da jini kamar an yanka rago" mukayi dariya tare sannan ta kara matsowa "bani labari mana" na harare ta "ke zancen manya ne fa. Duk abinda kike so kiji zaki sani ne wata rana, duk kuma bayanin da zan miki ba zaki fahimta ba sai yazo kanki"

Ta tabe baki sai ta fara bani labarin irin damuwar da take ciki yan kwanakin nan da bana gida, kowa ya saka mata ido, dangi kowa zai tafi sai yace "ke yaushe ne naki bikin?" Ko kuma "saura ke, ai da an sani ma hada ku akayi aka huta" Abba kuma yakan ce "hada sun naso inyi ai, ita kuma taki fito da mijin" 

Ta juya hannu, "ni makaranta ma nake so ya barni in shiga wallahi. Ga result dina yana da kyau, gashi bana komai a gida, ban san me yasa ba zai barni in yi karatu ba kafin Allah ya kawo mijin".

Sai nayi ta lalashinta da bata shawarar da nake ganin zata bulle mata "hakuri". Muka tashi muka gyara gurin muka tafi kitchen, tare da ita mukayi ta duba kitchen appliances din wadansu ma bamu san yadda ake amfani da su ba sai mu karanta manual, muna fitowa ta tambaye ni "amma dining table din nan ba Abba ne ya siya ba ko?" Nace "eh. Daddyn su Aira ne ya siya min a matsayin gudummawa" ta shafa shi "yayi kyau sosai".

Bayan mun zauna sai na tambayeta "Umar fita yayi ne?" Ta girgiza kai "kamar daki naga ya shiga" na mike da sauri "wayyo Allah. Yana can yana jin yunwa. Yanzu haka ko breakfast bai yi ba" ta bini da kallo "soyayya manja, na dauka ai da aka kar tsami kwarnafin ya kwanta" na harare ta "sai ma tashi da ya sake yi" 

Har dare su Farhan suna nan, sun kawo min kayana da na bari a gida sannan suka bude lefena suka zabi abinda suke so, wasu na basu wasu kuma na hana su. Sai da muka ci abincin dare tare sannan Umar yace in dauko hijab dina mu kaisu gida. Ai kuwa har da rawar murna nayi zanga Umma ta tunda ban saka ran ganin ta kusa ba. 

Muna zuwa gida na shiga da sauri na na rungume ta sannan na gaishe ta, itama tayi mamakin zuwa na kuma daga dukkan alama taji dadin ganin nawa dan sai bina take yi da kallo da murmushi a fuskar ta, yan samarin ta duk basa nan, sai na bada sakon lallai suma suje suga dakina. Ta saka ni na je na gaishe da Hajiya, ta amsa min babu yabo babu fallasa sannan tace "wannan wanne irin aure ne ko sati ba'a yi ba har an fara zarya a gida? Ko akwai wata matsala ne" na girgiza kaina kawai sannan nayi mata sallama na fita.

Na hau saman Abba da dokin son ganinsa amma ina shiga sai yace "ke! Me kike yi a gidan nan?" Na durkusa "Abba tare da.......tare da shi muka zo muka kawo su Amira" ya kama fada "su amiran basu da kafa ba zasu iya tahowa da kansu ba? Yaran yanxu kun dauki aure kamar wani wasan yara, ki tashi maza ki koma gidan ki kuma kar ki sake zuwa gidan nan idan ba da wani kwakwkwaran dalili ba" 

Na mike jiki n a sanyaye, sai dana sauka sannan na tuna ko gaishe shi banyi ba. Ina shiga dakin Umma kafin in zauna ya leko ta baranda " Jidda? kin tafi ko har yanzu kina nan?" Na mike da sauri ina jin kwalla tana zuwa idona, Umma tace "kar kiyi, kar ki sake ki fita kina kina kuka. Ba kim gan mu ba sai menene kuma?" Na dauki jakata nayi mata sallama na fita kamar wadda kwai ya fashe wa a ciki. 

Ina fita waje Umar ya bini da kallo "har kin fito?" Na dauke kai na bance komai ba sai shima yayi shiru ya tayar da motar muka tafi gida.

Sati uku bayan bikin mu hutun Umar ya kare, kuma kusan a lokacin nima muka koma school na shiga shekara ta biyu. A cikin wadannan kwanakin ba soyewa ba in ma kone wa ne duk mun kone kan mu a gida, wannan yasa komawa aikin da school ya dan zame mana da wahala saboda sabawa da junan mu da muka yi. 

Sai dai jin dadin mu shine hanyar mu daya, babu nisa tsakanin office dinsa da school dina dan haka tare mume fita ya ajiye ni shi kuma ya tafi, in na tashi ko bai gama ba kuma ya kan ajjiye aikin ya kaini gida sannan ya dawo, na nuna masa ya ke barina ina tafiya a adaidaita sahu amma yaki yarda. "Menene amfani na idan ban kai ki gida ba? Menene amfanin mota ta idan bata dauke ki ba? Da kin iya mota da sai in ke baki kina tafiya da ita, in yaso ni in na gama sai in nemi abin hawa" 

That's the kind of person Umar is to me.......

Duk abinda nake so shi yake yi min, duk abinda ya fahimci ina so ko ban furta ba sai yayi min shi, duk abinda yayi tunanin zan so ko da bai ga alama a fuska ta ba sai yayi kokarin yayi min shi in da har bai fi karfin sa ba.

Gidan mu kullum a cike da kayan ciye ciye, tunda ya lura ina da kwadayi, besides ni nafi son kayan kwadayi ma akan solid abinci, dan haka kullum sai ya samu abinda zai siyo min, ko kuma ha dauke ni mu tafi yawon ciye ciye. Duk wani joint a kano da ake siyar da wani abin kwadayi mun san da zamanshi. 

Watanni uku da auren mu ne akayi hutun yan makaranta. A lokacin ne kuma mukayi bakuwa. Ummi.

Ni tun zuwan mu gidan su naji suna zancen Ummi tana makaranta amma ban san wacece ita ba tunda ban taba jin sunan ta a bakin Umar ko a bakin Mufida ba. Sai gasu an kawo su tare da Afnan da Affan wai zasuyi mana hutu anan. Na tarye su sosai, yaran suna ta murna, itama kuma Ummin ta gaishe ni na kuma saka ta kai musu kayan su guest room. 

Yarinya ce zan iya cewa kusan sa'ar Amira, koma Amira ta dan girme ta kadan dan ta gaya min a js3 take, Amira kuwa lokacin tana ss1. Abinda ya bani mamaki shine muna zaune tare da su a falo Umar ya shigo,sai kawai naga ta mije ta gudu taje ta rungume shi shi kuma har da dan daga ta sama kadan sannan ya ajiye ta yana dariya "ya naji kin kara nauyi? Me suke baku a school din?" 

Sai daya ajiye ta sannan ya tari kannensa. Sai naji hakan bai yi min ba, ai ba karamar yarinya bace ba dan akwai nono a kirjinta dan haka zan iya kiranta da balagaggiya. A lokacin bansan menene alakar su ba shi yasa nayi shiru tukunna.

Daga baya ne Umar yake min bayanin ta "kanwar Aunty ce, tun tana karama Aunty take rikon ta har yanzu kuma a hannun ta take. She is like a sister to us" na gyada kai kawai amma a raina ina jin bana son ta duk kuwa da cewa bata yi min komai ba. 

Sun kwana biyu anan, kullum in mun fita zamu barsu a gida kuma zan iya cewa tana taimaka min sosai da aikin gida dan kamar yadda take da shegen surutu haka take da aiki. Amma duk da haka zuciyata bata kwanta da ita ba sai dai ina iyakar kokari na wajen boye mata hakan. Sai kuma na fara tunanin ko kishi nake da ita shi yasa nake jin haushinta? 

In dai har Umar yana gida to tana kusa da shi, ko magana zata yi masa sai ta rike hannunsa, ga shagwaba, magana daya ta fara yi masa shagwaba tana girgiza jiki shi kuma yana yi mata dariya. 

And then ranar da suka yi sati da weekend na kwanta ina bacci da rana a dakina, na farka nayi sallah sai nace bara in duba Umar ko ya tashi yayi sallah shima dan ya riga ni kwanciya baccin ma. 

Sai dai ina shiga dakinsa na gansu tare. Yana kashingide ya jingina bayansa da bed frame ita kuma tari ruf da ciki a tsakiyar gadon tana kada kafafuwa a sama da wayarsa a hannun ta da alama game take yi. Na tsaya a bakin kofar ina kallon su, zuciya ta a wuya na. 

Ya dago kai yana kallona "Baby. Kin tashi" ya miko min hannu. Ban amsa ba kuma ban je ba sai bata rai da nayi. Yayi min sign da hannunsa "what?" Na kara hade rai nace "Ummi, ban wayar nan" sai ta juyo ta kalle ni sannan ta kalle shi shima tare da fara shagwaba.

Na jira in ji abinda zai ce sai naji yace "ki bata mana, ko baki ji abinda tace ba?" Maimakon ta mika min sai ta mika masa, ya karba ya miko min, ban karba ba nace mata "tashi ki je waje" ta zumbura baki tana kallon sa, and I half expected yace kar ta fita amma sai naji yayi shiru har ta tashi ta wuce ni ta fita tana kunkuni, nabi bayanta da kallo sannan na tura kofar.



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*Episode Seventeen: The Visitors*

Ya ajiye wayar a gefe sannan ya nuna min kan cinyarsa, "come Baby, zo ki fada min waye ya taba min ke da tsakar ranar nan" na tafi naje na zauna a inda ya nuna min, na kwantar da kaina a kirjinsa sannan nace "wannan yarinyar, bai kama ta take shigowa dakin ka har ta kwanta akan gadon ka ba" 

Ya dago da fuska ta yana kallona "wai Ummi? But why? She is like a sister........" Nace "like a sister, not a sister. Matsayin ta shine kanwar kishiyar Mama. Babu dangantaka ta jini ko kadan a tsakanin ku" sai yayi murmushi "kishi, kishi, kishi, I feel honored" na ture shi. "Ba kishi bane ba gaskiya ce. Dakina ko gadona duk zata iya shiga ta kwanta amma gadonka ba gurin zuwan ta bane ba. Ba ita ba ko su Mufida da kuke ciki daya dasu bai kamata su zo su kwanta akan gadon ka ba ko da ace baka dakin ballantana kuma kana nan sannan kai ma kana kwance akai"

Ya mayar da kaina kan kirjinsa ya kwantar "shikenan, sorry Baby, ba zata sake shigowa ba tunda ba kya so. In ba kya son ta zauna a gidan ma yanxu sai in kai ta gida tunda ba gidan ubanta bane ba" na dago kai "a'a ni bance ka mayar da ita gida ba, in nayi haka Aunty ba zataji dadi ba, kawai dai ina son boundary a tsakanin ku, bana son yadda kake bari tana taba ka a duk lokacin da tayi niyya dan kai ai ba muharramin ta bane ba kuma shaidan babu zuciyar da baya shiga even the purest of hearts" 

Yace "Allahu Akbar. Ya ustaziyya Hauwa'u" 

naga alamar wasa yake so ya mayar da maganar, na mike "eh naji ni ustaziyya ce. Ka tashi kayi sallah" na fada half hopping inji yace min yayi amma sai naga ya mike ya shiga toilet, na kalli agogo, almost three o'clock na rana amma bai yi azahar ba.

Ni a gidan mu na saba maza masallaci suke tafiya, in ba wani uzuri mai karfi ba da wahala ki ga wani yayi sallah a gida amma Umar sau da yawa a gida yake abarsa, a gidan ma wani lokacin sai nayi ta tuna masa musamman in yana wani abu sai yace sai ya gama. 

Na danga chanji a lamarin sa da Ummi, ya kan cire hannun ta daga jikinsa in ta rike shi ko kuma ya matsa in ta zauna a jikin sa, sai kuma na lura gidan duk ya ishe ta duk tana ta kunci kwana biyu bayan nan ma tace tafiya zatayi gida. 

Umar ya siyo mata doguwar riga da takalmi ni kuma na bata mayafi da kayan kwalliya muka kaita gida, amma sai twins suka ki zama suka ce  biyo mu zasuyi mu dawo gida. 

Sai naga Mama ta bata rai "ku kun fiya rikici wallahi. Kawai dan kuje su saka su wahala ba kunyi kwana goma a can ba? Shi yana aiki ita tana karatu waye zai zauna daku a gida? Ita kuma Ummi da zata zauna daku din tace ba zata koma ba ya kuke so suyi daku?"

Na danyi murmushi "babu wahala ai Mama, gobe sunday bani da school shi   kadai ne zai fita, jibi kuma in zamu fita sai mu biyo mu ajiye su anan tunda hanyar mu ce" 

Ta bata rai. "ba wani hanya, lokacin da zaku bata gurin shigowa da su ai yaci ace kunyi wani abun. Kuma keda ba ke ce mai driving ba ai ba ke ce zaki wahala ba"

Sai naja bakina nayi shiru amma bana jin dadin yadda yaran suka yi kamar zasuyi kuka. Ga Aunty tana Lagos a lokacin. Na daga kai na kalli Faruq da yake ta danne danne a waya kamar ma bai sannan maganar da ake yi ba. Na dan dungure shi da kafata. Ya kalle ni sai na marairaice masa. Ya juya ido sai kuma ya mike yana saka wayar aljihu yace "su taho mu tafi, monday din sai mu dawo dasu" 

Muna tsaye a bakin gate muna jiran maigadi ya bude mana gate sai ga bakuwa munyi, Maryam kawata. Tun da ta doso motar take washe baki tana kara sauri, nima nayi mata murmushi sannan na daga mata hannu ina nuna wa Umar ita "ga Maryam nan, kawar mu ni da Mufida, ka gane ta?" Sai naga ya dauke kai kamar bai ganta ba sannan yace "eh" tana karasowa ga mamaki na sai naga ta zagaya ta window dinsa 

"Yaya Doctor sannun ku da dawowa, ashe na kusa in daki gurbi na kusa in tarar ba kwa nan" sai naga ya nuna ni da yatsansa "kamar kinyi batan kai, ga kawar taki can" sannan sai ya daga mirror dinsa.

Sai naji a raina banji dadin abinda yayi mata ba, duk da ita ma rawar kanta yayi yawa ina ita ina zuwa window dinsa tayi masa magana in banda neman magana? Ni ce kawarta kamar yadda ya fada, guri na tazo dan haka ni ya kamata tayi wa magana.

Kafin ta zagayo window na mai gadi ya bude mana gate, Umar bai jira komai ba yaja mota ciki sannan yace da mai gadi ya rufe gate. Shi kuma mai gadi bai san tana waje ba kawai ya tura gate ya rufe. 

Nayi sauri na bude kofa na fita sannan na tafi na bude mata karamar kofa. Na tarar ta hade rai kamar zata fashe "mijin ki dan wulakanci ne" na girgiza kai. "Kiyi hakuri kawata, wallahi bashi da wulakanci kawai dai ina jin a gajiye yake ne" na kama hannun ta "zo mu shiga ciki" ta zare hannun ta daga nawa "ni ba zan shiga ba ballantana ya kara wulakanta ni, sai anjima" 

Ta zare hannun ta daga nawa ta tafi ranta a bace, sai naji banji dadi ba. Tabbas yayi mata wulakanci amma ai laifin ta ne rashin kamun kanta ne ya jawo mata. Kuma a ganina ai tunda gurina tazo babu ruwan ta da abinda Umar yayi mata musamman tunda na fito har waje na bata hakuri.

Na juya jiki a sanyaye na koma gida. A  palo na tarar dasu sun baje shi da twins yana raba musu abinda muka siyo a hanya. Na wuce su na dauko kayan su daga guest room na shiga dashi cikin bedroom dina, tunda Ummi ta tafi gwara su dawo kusa da mu.

Ina dakin ya shigo babu sallama kamar yadda ya saba sai kamshinsa ne ya sanar da ni shigowar sa. Ya tsaya a bayana ya zuro hannayensa ta cikina ya jani jikinsa, ya saka fuskar sa a wuya na yana goga min sajensa a fuskata. Na saka hannu na kare ina dariya "ka ga duk zaka min scratches a fuskata" 

Yayi dariya "au haka ma zaki ce? To bara in miki scratches din abinda yafi fuska" ya juyo da ni yana goga fuskar sa a kirjina" na fara ja da baya ina dariya "wannan ai chakulkuli ne" yace "chakulkuli? Bara in nuna miki yadda ake chakulkuli" sai ya zura hannunsa a rigata ya fara yi min ni kuma ina dariya ina ture shi nace "ka daina, kaga bamu kadai bane a gidan, akwai yara" 

Ya bata rai "in zasu takura min sai in mayar dasu gidan ubansu. Haka kawai ban ajiye ba ba za'a takura min ba" ya fada yana shafa mara ta "saura wata tara da kwana goma ki haifa min baby mai kama da ke" nayi murmushi "ni nafi son mai kama da kai. Kuma tun kafin a samu cikin har za'a fara lissafin ranar haihuwar sa?" Yace "eh mana. Yau za'a samu. You are ovulating and I am going to get the shot today" na rike fuskar sa "insha Allah" yace "insha Allah" 

Sai daga baya ne muna cin abincin dare yake cewa "kawar taki kuma bata shigo ba?" Na bata rai "bayan ka wulakanta ta" shima ya bata rai "waye yace tazo tayi min ihu aka?" Nace "magana ce fa kawai tayi maka. Ina laifin wanda ya kula ka?" Ya ajiye chokalin hannunsa "I was accused of being too open just few days ago, yanzu kuma ana accusing dina of wulakanci. Which way should I go please"

Nayi shiru bance komai ba, ina jin a raina kamar nayi masa ba dai dai ba, sannan nayi wa kaina alkawarin ba zan sake tayar da maganar ba. Shi miji na ne dan haka ko cewa yayi kar in sake kula Maryam then I won't have any other option then to obey.

Bayan mun gama ne muka koma palo na kunna wa twins cartoon sannan na dauko littafi na ina karatu, shima ya fito ya bude laptop yana danne danne. Jimawa kadan na tashi na tashi afnan da ta fara bacci na kaita daki na na kwantar  da ita na dawo na tarar ya rufe computer din ya dauki wayata yana danne danne. 

Na zauna a kusa shi ina leka cikin screen din wayar "me kake min a waya?" Ya zagayo da hannunsa daya ta side dina sannan ya kwantar da kansa a wuyana muna kallon wayar tare yace "am trying to make you social. Ke har yanzu kifin rijiya ce" na kwanta a jikinsa sosai "wai kana nufin social media? Na dauka ba zaka so ba shi yasa ko gwadawa ban taba yi ba dan nasan halin mijina da kishi" 

yayi dariya "gaskiya ne wannan, kishi kam ina da shi sosai, amma ai yanzu na riga na samu Jidda dan haka bani da wani insecurities. Kuma dan ina kishin ki ba zan hana ki cigaba ba, ta hanyar social media ne zaki yi growing ki san me duniya take ciki beyond abinda yake gaban ki. Kuma it is a chance for you to meet and make friends. Ni kuma I don't have problem with that as long as friends din ba maza bane ba kuma as long as ba zan ga pictures dinki suna yawo ba"

Ya fara kokarin bude min facebook account, yace "ya sunan ki?" Na lakuce masa hanci "sunana Hauwa Umar" yayi murmushi ya rubuta "Doctor Hauwa'u Umar" na bude ido "am not a doctor" yace "you are matar doctor, dani da occupation dina duk naki ne ranki ya dade" 

Sai ya nemo hoton Afnan da Affan ya saka su as profile picture dina sannan ya fara nemo mutanen da muka sani yana tura musu friend request "Daga haka zaki ke haduwa da wadanda kika sani, za'a ke turo miki friends of friends a matsayin people you may know" ni dai ina ta jinsa ina gyada kai, naga ya tura wa Mufida request kuma nasan zan samu friends dina ta hanyarta. 

Ya bude min WhatsApp shima, nan da nan naga contacts dina duk da suke WhatsApp sun bayyana a take kuma nayi wa monitor din ajin mu magana nace ya saka ni a group, dan dama ina missing abubuwa sosai dan yawanci duk ta can ake making announcements.

Daga nan kuma sai ya bani wayar ya mike "gobe ki karasa, duk wanda kike so ki bude ni na gaji bacci nake ji" na karba sannan na gyara kwanciya ta a space din daya tashi "ba sai gobe ba ma, yanzu zanyi, am so eager to meet secondary school friends dina" ya karbe wayar, "bakiji abinda nace ba? Bacci nake ji. And I am sure going to take that shot kafin inyi bacci" 

Na langwabe kai shima yayi irin yadda nayi, dole na fasa abinda nace zanyi din muka rufe komai muka kwantar da Affan wanda shima yayi bacci sannan muka tafi dakinsa na kuma bashi dukkan kulawar dayake bukata. 

Daga auren mu zuwa yanzu na fahimci Umar yana da yawan bukata, amma sai na jingina haka da dokin amarci da ake cewa maza suna yi sannan kuma na dage iyakacin iyawa ta nake biya masa duk bukatun sa a duk lokacin da ya zo min dasu. Ba zan saka shi a layin masu tsananin bukata ba duk da yana da yawan bukata dan baya fashin dare, kuma ko da rana ne ma musamman in muna gida kuma mu kadai ne to fa sai yayi amfani da damarsa. Ni kuma a kokari na na ganin na faranta masa kamar yadda shima yake faranta min sai na dage ta wannan bangaren, duk tsoron da nake dashi na ajiye shi a gefe tunda yanzu babu sauran zafi, kunyar ma kuma na fara rageta dan shi ko shafi daya bai karanta ba a littafin kunya. Babu ruwanshi da wai wani kashe fitila and don't even try to say a lulluba da bargo. Shi ko a ina yake son abinshi anan zaiyi kayansa ko da kuwa kitchen ne ko toilet, yakance "gidana ne kuma matata ce, a barni in shana"

Watan mu biyar da aure na samu cikin Yasmin, ranar da Umar ya fara gane ina da ciki lokacin ko missing period banyi ba amma yana taba kirjina yace "Baby we are pregnant" na harare shi "ta haka dama ake gane cikin?" Ya saka matsawa "sosai ma. Wallahi akwai. Come lemme confirm" sai ya kwantar dani flat yana mammatsa mara ta, nayi dariya "Doctor Faruq. Idan ma akwai cikin fa bai yi wata daya ba kenan, how on earth can you feel it" ya kalle ni "shshsh, stop talking and relax. Kina magana ne da Doctor Umar and am not your average doctor" ya kara dannawa expertly da thumb dinsa can kasan marar,sai kuma ya danyi kara kadan "Jidda, wallahi akwai. About four weeks. How did I miss this har yayi four weeks ban san da shi ba" 

Sai ya dauke ni ya fara zagaye dakin yna hajijiya dani har muka fada kan gado. Zan iya cewa ban taba ganinsa cikin wannan farin cikin ba dan haka kullum nake fadar cewa bai taba son wani abu ba kamar yadda yake son Yasmin. 

Sai daya gama murnar sa sannan ya dauko kaya ya fara kokarin saka min,ya fasa kuma abinda da yayi niyyar yi. Na karba ina karasa sakawa shima ya dauko nasa "ina zamuje?" Na tambaye shi "gwara muje mu ga lafiyar ta, ko lafiyar sa, ko lafiyar su" nace "tun yanzu?" Yace "me kike tsammani? Yar doctor da nurse ce fa" nace "ne fa" ya kuma cewa "ce fa. Ni nafi son girl. Kyakykyawa kamar ki" ya fada yana jan kumatu na.

Asibitin Doctor Bashir muka je. Ranar ne na fara shiga asibitin muka zarce office din da yake a matsayin na Umar, ya nuna min kujerar marasa lafiya na zauna shi kuma ya zauna a kujerar sa. Sai kuma yayi waya aka kawo masa sabon file. Tana fita ya hade rai ya tambaye ni "full name please" nace "Umar Muhammad Gidado" sai yayi murmushi.  

Ina ganin shi yayi ta cike cike a jikin form din sannan ya dauko takarda ya saka aciki ita ma yayi ta cike cike a jiki, duk abinda ake tambaya ya sani, yace "so nake in bude miki file the normal way yadda ko bana kusa nurses din nan zasu iya duba ki" na gyada kai. Information din patient yana da amfani dan gudun samun matsala.

Bayan mun gama yayi min scanning, kuma abin da ya bani mamaki shine four weeks din da ya fada sune dai muka gani, wannan ya kara tabbatar min da cewa umar yasan aikin sa.

Wani abin mamakin kuma shine sai da muka san da cikin sannan na fara laulayi. Laulayi sosai nake yi sam bana iya cin komai musamman ruwa sai dai insha fruits, su kadai ne abincina. Gashi kuma a lokacin muna cikin exams din first semester of second year din mu. Umar harda daukan emergency leave danya kula dani, sannan ya gaya wa Mama ta aiko Mufida wadda a lokacin ta fara zuwa buk dan ta zauna tana taya ni aiyukan gida. Tunda babu nisa daga gidan mu zuwa makarantar ta, wani lokacin ma da kafa take karasa wa. 

Nayi tayi masa mitar me yasa ya gayawa Mama "yanxu kasa zanyi ta jin kunyarta wallahi" ya yamutsa fuska "kunya? Menene abin kunya a ciki? Ji nake kowa sai da akayi cikin sannan aka haife shi. Kuma wannan abin da mukayi aka samu cikin nan kowa ma in ta shiga daki da mijin ta tana yin abinta" na ture shi na mike "Umar kafi karfina, na sallama wa duniya kai. Zancen Mama fa muke yi" 

Sai yayi dariya kawai. Shi babu wanda ya bari. Ai kuwa kunyar nayi taji dan kullum sai ta kira ni tambayeni ya jiki, haka na lallaba na gama exams din, sai dai kuma dan hutun namu bashi da yawa fifteen days ne kadai muka yi muka koma school second semester second year. A lokacin na dan rage laulayi, Umar ma kum ya koma aikinsa amma dai ba wata lafiya ce dani sosai ba dan haka karatun wahala yake bani sosai, sannan kum babban tashin hankali na shine wannan semester din posting biyu ake yi, psychiatric posting inda za'a tura mu dawanau sannan kuma da orthopedic posting shi kuma za'a tura mu dala. 

Da na saba duk sanda za'a yi posting into general wards Bashir yana taimaka min a tura ni nan AKTH inyi zama na a gurin Umar yanzu kuwa dole mu raba gari. Ina ta lissafin yadda zanyi coping a asibitin mahaukata ga kuma ciki ina fama da shi. A haka har muka gama theories aka yi posting din mu na dauko takardar posting din na kawo wa Umar. 

Yana zaune yana aiki da computer dinsa na mika masa takardar "anyi posting din mu dazu. Gashinan, an kaini dawanau" na fada ina jin hawaye yana zuwa ido na. Sai ya dago kai yana murmushi, na dauke kai ina jin haushinsa sai yayi dariya "wa yaga Jidda tana fama da mahaukata" sai na fara kukan sosai "ni dai ba zan je ba. Haka kawai in wani ya kwace ya dake ni kuma fa. Kasan dai bani kadai bace ba ko?" Na fada ina hoping albarkacin cikina zai ce ba zanje ba. 

Sai ya rufe system din yayi folding hannunsa yana kallona "to ya kike so ayi Madam? Karatun ki ne ya kama da haka kuma kika sani ma ko a can zaki yi aiki?" Na bude ido "wallahi ba zanyi aiki a can ba. Chafdi, wallahi sai dai in fasa aikin gabakidaya" yayi dariya "ke kam wannan akwai farar kura. Come here" sai na taso nazo na zauna a jikinsa na saka fuska ta a wuyansa ina jin dadin kamshin sa. 

Yace "za a yi musu magana a gaya musu ga halin da kike ciki, and they won't let you anywhere near dangerous patients kinji. Akwai wanda na sani a gurin munyi buk tare da shi kuma yana da say sosai a gurin, already har munyi magana dashi tunda nasan dama can za'a kai ki kuma he assured me cewa babu problem, zai yi miki hanyar da ba sai kina zuwa kullum ba ma. Kin ga kin samu chance din hutawa ma for four weeks kafin nan kun kara kwari ke da baby"

Naji dadin maganar sa sosai sai na kankame shi "Nagode sosai my sweet husband. Allah ya bar mu tare" sai kuma na dago kai ina kallon fuskarsa na bata rai cikin shagwaba "amma yanzu shikenan ba zamu ke fita tare muna dawowa tare ba. Kuma ba zan ke ganin ka da rana ba"

Ya shafa fuska ta "waye ya gaya miki? Dawanau din ai ba zata yi min nisa ba indai kina can. Zancen fita da dawowa kuma already nayi solving wannan problem din" nace "how?" Yace "I bought you a car" na bude ido shi kuma ya kashe min nasa idon "a Rav4" 

Na mike da sauri sai ya jawo ni ya dawo dani jikinsa yana dariya "don't even try that" cikin zumudi nace "da gaske dear?" Yace "eh mana. I wanted to give it to you a matsayin gift din cikin nan amma Allah bai yi ba, bata zo da wuri ba sai this weekend zata zo insha Allah. Probably tomorrow" 

Na kankame shi ina hawaye "Nagode Nagode Nagode" ya dago fuska ta "dama a haka mata take godewa mijinta?" Nace "to me zance?" Na nuna lips dinsa "a kiss will be very much appreciated" nayi murmushi sannan na dora bakina akan nasa.

Two days after that kuwa motar ta iso, and it was much more than I expected dan tayi min kyau sosai, red color wacce tayi matukar dacewa dani. Gidan mu na fara zuwa da ita na nuna musu, gabaki dayansu suka fito kallon motar har da yan unguwa ma sai da suka fiffito. Ba a cikin yaya matan gidan mu ba, har cikin mazan nice na fara mallakar mota kuma lafiyayyiyar mota irin wannan. 

Sosai kuma naga rashin jin dadin hakan a idon Hajiya "wannan mota haka? A ina ya samu kudin siyawa matarsa wannan mota? Anya kuwa Alhaji ba za'a binciki inda yaron nan yake samun kuɗi ba. Dama likitoci suna samun irin wadannan kudaden?" 

Abba yace "suna samun kudi mana, kuma misali shi ai iyayen sa suna da arziki dan haka bashi da nauyin su ko na yanuwan sa a akan sa sai nauyin iyalinsa kadai"

Har cikin gida Abba ya shigo da Umar Umma tayi masa godiya, shi kuma yana ta sussunne kai, a raina nace kamar gaske dan nasan babu wata kunya da yake ji. 

Bamu jima ba muka tafi, kuma tun a ranar ya kaini...............na fara gwada driving duk da cewa duk basics na driving din na sani dan nakan kunna motarsa a gida har reverse na iya in fitar da ita daga gate. Dan haka koyon tuki baiyi min wahala ba kuma sai Allah ya taimake ni bani da tsoron titi nan da nan na dara driving da kaina duk da cewa sai da Umar ya makala min 'L' saboda tsautsayi.

Kamar yadda ya fada haka ce ta kasance a dawanau din da aka tura ni, sun daga min kafa sosai kuma har wani girma naga suna bani, sun ganni fes fesga galleliyar mota ina hawa. Satin mu hudu a can aka mayar damu asibitin Dala orthopedic muka sake yin wasu four weeks din sannan muka koma school muka yi revision sai kuma exams. 

Amma wannan karon sai aka samu akasi na fadi courses har biyu, abinda ban taba yi ba tunda na fara. Kuma hakan yana da nasaba da cikina da sam sam baya son karatu daga na dauko littafi na fara karatu to kuwa sai dai azo a tashe ni ina bacci. 

Inda Allah ya taimake ni suna bada grace na two weeks mutum yayi resitting papers din daya fadi, in still baka ci ba sai kayi repeat, in kuma kaci sai ka wuce da yan ajin ku. Kuma Umar ya taimaka min sosai wajen karatun dan shi yake zama da kansa yana karanto min yana yi min vayani dan in ya barni da littafin bacci zanyi. A haka da taimakon sa da na ubangiji na samu naci exams dina ta wannan semester din. Daga nan aka yi mana hutu.

A cikin hutun ne nayi baki, bakin da zuwansu ya zamanto tamkar opener ta wami phase na rayuwar aurena. Bakin da zuwansu ya zamanto tamkar budar ido a gareni akan kaddara ta.

Ranar monday ne, Umar ya fita tun sassafe and he told me that he is going to be late saboda yana da wani surgery da zaiyi late evening a asibitin Dr Bashir. Dan haka tun rana nake kwance inata bacci na har sai da laasar tayi sannan na tashi na shiga kitchen nayi masa dinner dan ni ba wani cin abinci nake yi ba har yanzu. 

Bayan na kammala girkin kuma na shiga nayi wanka na nutsu na shirya masa kwalliya irin wadda nasan yana so sannan na fito na dan gyagygyara gidan duk da dai kafin ya fita ya gyara ko'ina wai dan kar in tashi ince zanyi bayan ya tafi. Na dauko freshener na fesa a duk gidan sannan na samu guri na zauna na kunna kallo ina kuma chatting a waya ta, ina ta dariyar yadda ake zabga drama a WhatsApp group din Maman Maama novels, wanda Aunty Halima ta bayar da number ta aka saka ni kwanakin baya. 

Ina yi ina duba agogo, magrib ta gabato sosai amma har yanzu shiru. Nayi tunanin kiransa kuma sai na fasa, bana so in kira shi yana tsakiyar aiki musamman in surgery ne. 

Ina nan zaune naji tsayuwar mota sannan akayi horn, na tashi na leka ta window ina jin dadi a raina amma sai naga bakuwar mota ta shigo, bakar Panadol extra, na tsaya ina kallon motar har tayi packing sannan naga wasu mata su biyu sun fito. 

Ban san su ba, ban taba ganin su ba sai a ranar. Suka fito suna karewa gidan kallo sannan daya tayiwa dayar magana suka yi dariya amma banji me suka ce ba. Sai kuma naga sun rufe kofofin motar sannan suka doso cikin gidan. Naga daya tayi gefe, sai dayar ta kamo hannun ta "ke kamar an chanja entry din fa. Kinga kofar nan" 

Ina kallon su har suka zo sukayi knocking sai na saki labulen da nake tsaye a bayansa na zo na dube musu kofar. Suka shigo dul su biyun idon su a kaina Kamar yadda nima nake binsu da kallo. 

Kyawawa ne duk su biyun, kuma kallo daya zakayi musu ka fahimci duk inda budewar ido ta kai to nasu idon yaje gurin. Sun sha kwalliya tun daga sama har kasa daya daga cikin su ta sha kitson attachment wanda akayi shi da colored zare kuma ya sauko har kan kafadar ta. Da maka makan glasses a idanuwan su. Banbancin su da kedarai kawai a fuska ne amma ba'a yanayin jiki ko kuma shigar da take jikin su ba.

Na fara tunanin su waye wadannan? Ni dai bana jin na san su a yan'uwa ko abokan aikin Faruq dan yanxu kusan duk collique dinsa na sansu saboda zuwa office dinsa da nake yi. 

"Sannun ku da zuwa" na fada. Mai attach din ta sauke glass din idonta kasa tana kare min kallo tun daga fuskata zuwa kyakykyawan cikina daya fara girma. Sannan kuma tabi falon da kallo tana yamutsa fuska. 

Dayar ce ta amsa min "yauwa amarya. Sannu da gida" na matsa baya ina nuna musu gurin zama. "Bismillah. Ku shigo ku zauna" suka biyo bayana suka zazzauna still suna ta kallon falon, irin kallon wulakanci din nan.

Naji abin ya taba zuciyata. Who are they? Daga gani sun girme ni nesa ba kusa ba, dan haka a ka'ida ni ya kamata in gaishe su amma sai naji na kasa gaishe su din. Na tashi na dauko musu lemo da ruwa na kawo musu bagansu. Dayar tace min "mun gode amarya" na dan yi mata murmushi kadan sannan na zauna.

"Ban gane ku ba fa amma" na fada hoping zasu fahimtar dani sai mai attach din tace "mai gidan yana nan ne?" Naji raina ya fara baci. Nace "baya nan. Yana office" sai naga sun kalli juna sun kwashe da dariya. "Su office manya" suka kuma wata dariyar. Yanzu raina ya kai kololuwar baci.

Marar attach din tace "dama munzo ne mu ganki kuma mu gaishe ki. Mu kuma yi miki Allah ya sanya alkhairi tunda ba'a gayyace mu biki ba sai a media muka ji. Allah ya kawo kazantar daki amma bata rashin shara ba. Though mun fara ganin alamun kazantar dakin tana hanya" ta fada tana kallon ciki na. 

Mai attach din ta juyo itama ta kalli cikin ta tabe baki "in dai akan wannan aikin ne ai sai dai a bashi number yabo ta kasa. Shi din gwani ne ta wannan bangaren"

Na mike tsaye, ina jin wani irin zafi araina "please in ba zaku fada min ko ku su wa ye ba kuma ku fadi abinda ya kawo ku gidan nan ba you can take your leave please"

Suka mike a tare, mai attach din ta tako zuwa gaba na ta tsaya tana tauna cingam "kamar yadda kawata ta fada munzo ne mu ganki mu kuma ga dakin ki. Kuma mun gani. Dama na gaya masa zanzo mu gaisa but ya dauka da wasa nake masa shi yasa muka zo da yamma hoping ko zamu same shi a gida dan in tabbatar masa ba da wasa nake ba, but ashe yana 'office' kamar yadda ya gaya miki. Nevertheless, zan bar masa sako"

"In yazo ki gaya masa Zuwaira tazo ta kawo muku ziyara tare da fatan alkhairi. Zancen su waye kuma mu idan kin gaya masa haka sai ki tambayeshi shi zai fi kowa yi miki bayanin ko wacece ni"

Sai ta juya gurin kawarta "ko ba haka ba kawata?" Sai suka tafa, kawar tace "naso ace mun same shi wallahi, naso inga idon sa, munafukfuk" suka sake dariya sannan wadda ta kira kanta da Zuwaira ta duba agogon hannun ta "mu tafi haka, na bar clients suna jira na, kin san akwai amarya da nace miki zanyi wa gyaran jiki yau" kawar ta harare ta "kema munafuka daya, ko dai katoton client ne yake jiran ki? Tunda ance bai dawo daga 'office' ba" suka sake dariya sannan suka kama hannu suka fita. 

Suka bar ni a tsaye tamkar gunkin da aka sassaka......

*One more free Episode*


*Episode Eighteen : Zuwaira*
Tun da suka fita ban iya komawa na zauna ba. Ji nake yi tamkar na hadiyi tabarya dan wani dogon abu ne ya tsaya tun daga makogwarona har zuwa kafafuwana. 

Dan cikina naji yana ta tsalle kamar wanda oxygen dinda na ke shaka bata isar mu ni da shi. 

Kwakwalwa ta tana ta kokarin assessing maganganun su amma zuciyata taki bata dama dan bugawa take yi da tsananin karfin da har cikin kunnuwa na nake jin karar bugun ta. 

Babu abinda nake so inji irin amsar su waye wadannan kuma menene fassarar maganganun da suka zo suka yi? Sunce suna min fatan alkhairi amma ko kadan banga fatan alkhairi a tattare da su ba. Me suke fada akan Umar? Me suke fada akan mijina?

Motar su bata jima da barin gidan ba naji shigowar ta sa. Ya bude kofa ya shigo fuskar sa da murmushi "sorry Baby, na barki kina ta jirana ko?" Sai ya daga ledar hannun sa yana nuna min "wannan agwalumar sai da na zagaye Kano kaf kafin in samo miki ita, shi yasa ban dawo da wuri ba" 

Sai a lokacin na tuna da cewa na bashi sakon agwaluma. Nayi kokarin hadiye wannan dogon abu sannan nace "sannu da zuwa dear" sai ya bude min hannayensa. Come and give me a hug now, don't just stand there like a statue" 

Na yi kokarin takawa amma sai na kasa, sai ya ajiye ledar shi ya taho ya saka ni a kirjinsa ya rungume tare da kissing saman kaina. "Kinyi kyau sosai Baby" ya sunkuyo yayi kissing ciki na. "Hey there little Jidda. Kina ta jiran Daddy ko?" sai kuma ya dago fuskata "what's wrong. Yana ganki wani iri ne" sai ya saka hannunsa a wuyana yana testing temperature dina. "jikin ki yayi zafi, are you sick?"

Yadda ya nuna concern dinsa sai naji ya taba zuciyata. Karyar banza ma suke yi wadancan mutanen a kansa, har zasu saka inyi tunanin daga wani guri yake ba daga inda yace min ba, daga wani mummunan guri. Na girgiza masa kai "no am fine. Kawai dai mood dina ne bana jin dadinsa" ya sake ni "ahh. The mood swings. Me zanyi ne in cheering dinki, ga agwaluma nan dai na siyo miki, in still baki ji dadi ba in nayi wanka sai in fita dake yawo. Ko muje gidan Aunty Afia ko gidan yaya Mubaraka duk wanda kika zaba" 

Na je na dauki ledar daya ajiye ina jin kamar babu abinda na tsana irin agwaluma. Na ajiye nace "na gode. Ga abinci nan a dining zaka ci ko a nan" na nuna jikinsa "bara in yi wanka first. Ko zaki zo ki taya ni?" Ya fada yana kashe min ido. Na sunkuyar da kaina bance komai ba. Yace "not in the mood right?" Sai yayi ajjiyar zuciya "yaya dan Adam zaiyi da ransa tunda yayi wa matarsa ciki dole ya dauki hakurin duk abinda zai biyo baya"

Ya wuce ni ya shiga corridor. 

Na zauna akan kujera ina rungume ledar agwalumar daya siyo min a kirjina. Ina sake tambayar kaina suwaye bakin da nayi dazu? Su waye su da har zasu zo su saka min shakku akan mijina? Har suna dariyar cewa nace yana office, har suna making jokes with it, making me think yana wani gurin da bai dace ba ashe shi ni ya tafi nemo wa abinda nace masa ina so. Sai naji banji dadin yadda nayi masa ba.

"Karyar banza" na fada a fili, sai maganar tawa ta tuno min dawani memory na last time da na fadi wadannan kalmomi. Lokacin da Jamila ta same ni a daki ranar kunshin biki na, naji kunnuwa na suna dawo min da kalamanta dana tura su na boye a deepest part of my mind. 

"Karyar banza" na sake maimaita wa ina kokarin hada memory din maganganun ta dana wadannan matan in tura su zuwa inda na fito da natan yanzu. Amma sai suka ki tafiya, suka tsaya suna zagaye a kwakwalwa ta. 

Na ajiye ledar nabi bayansa na tarar har ya shiga wankan sai na bishi toilet din na tsaya a bakin kofa ina kallon sa yana cire kaya. Ya langwabe kai "please ki zo ki taya ni mana. I will cheer you up i promise you. Duk wannan mood din zan chanja shi" naje na karasa balle masa buttons din rigarsa sai ya fara kokawar cire min tawa. 

Na rike rigar "ni fa nayi wanka na wallahi" yace "wanka ai baya yawa, sake wa zaki yi" na fara mita "kai wallahi sai ka saka mutum mura kayi ta saka mutum wanka kamar wani kwado" ya karasa cire rigar sannan ya jani cikin shower ya hadani da jikinsa da hannu daya daya hannun kuma ya kunna shower dashi, ya sunkuyo dai dai fuskata yace "I will warm you up" sannan ya hade bakin mu......

Sai daya tabbatar ya karbi dukkan abinda yake so ya karba sannan muka fito daga toilet din, ina ta mitar ya sakani na jika gashina bayan da kyar na samu nayi drying dinsa dazu. Shi kuma as usual yana ta lallaba ni. A karshe ma sai ya dauko hand dryer dina yace zai yimin drying gashin. 

Na zauna a gaban madubi yana min drying gashin ni kuma ina shafa mai, sai nayi masa maganar baƙin sa.

"Dazu kayi baƙi dear" yana cigaba da abinda yake yi yace "nayi baƙi ko munyi baƙi? Su waye?" Nace "oho. Nima abinda nake so ka gaya min kenan" ya dakata da abinda yake yi muna kallon juna ta madubin, his face looked tensed. 

Nace "daya daga cikin su tace min sunan ta Zuwaira. Tace in na gaya maka haka zaka gane kuma zaka gaya min wacece ita" 

Ya ajiye dryer din yayi two steps back. In ka kalli fuskarsa zaka dauka fatalwa ya gani. "What?" Ya tambaya his voice deep. Na mike tsaye sannan na juyo muna kallon juna. Na gyara bath robe din jikina ina kara studying dinsa, zuciyata tana so tayi placing reaction dinsa.

"Su waye?" Na tambaya. Ina kallon shi ya hadiye wani abu a makogwaronsa sannan yace "how can I know. Ni da ban gansu ba, you tell me su waye ke da kika gansu" naji mamakin maganar sa. 

"Ban gane ba. But you sounded and acted as if ka san su, as if kayi mamakin da nace maka sun zo" ya tako ya dawo gaba na yana kallon fuskata. "Ni ban san wata mai irin wannan sunan ba, ni ko a family da friends dina da kuma abokan aiki na ban san mai irin wannan sunan ba. Yes I was surprised saboda kin ce sun ce zan fada miki ko su waye su so I automatically know sunzo su tayar min da fitina ne" 

Nace "but yanayin yadda suka yi magana ya nuna sun sanka Umar. Har magana fa naji sunyi akan wai an chanja tsarin gidan da ba haka yake ba......." 

Ya dafe goshinsa, looking frustrated. "They can be anybody Jidda. Zasu iya zama yan leken asiri ko wadansu masu mugun nufin ko kuma su zama one of those girls dana fada miki might be crushing on me, yanzu sunji nayi aure shine zasu zo su gaya miki maganar banza. And you are sounding as if kin yarda dasu haba Jidda. Wacce yarinya ce kuma zata zo tace tasan gidan nan gidan da in ba sisters dina ba bana jin akwai wanda ya taba zuwan sa kafin muyi aure, nima kaina ban taba kwana a gidan ba sai da kika shigo shi"

Na dauke kaina gefe ina lissafa maganganun sa. They sounded real. Zata iya yiwuwa da gaske a cikin masu son nasa ne shine zasu zo da wannan maganar to hurt me. 

Ganin maganar ta shige ni sai ya kamo kafaduna. "Did they hurt you?" Na girgiza kaina "not physically" ya hade rai "me da me suka ce?" Nace "just some stuffs about you. Wai ba daga office kake ba. Wai kana can kana jiran ta. And they said something about cikina" 

Ya bude ido ya dora hannu akan cikin kamar mai protecting dinsa "me suka ce akan cikin?" Sai yanzu naji dacin maganganun su yana kara kona zuciya ta "na dora nawa hannun akan nasa a saman cikin, hawaye ya silalo daga idona nace "wai kafi gwanancewa ta wannan bangaren, wai za'a iya baka numbar yabo a wajen" 

Ya saki kafada ta ya saka hannunshi a cikin gashinsa looking very angry, "damn it" sai naji banji dadin yadda na bata masa rai ba. Dana sani ma da ban gaya masa ba na bar maganar a raina kawai ni kadai tun da dai karya suke yi. 

Ya juya ya daki kofa da hannunsa sai kuma ya rike hannun alamar yaji zafi sannan ya bude kofar ya fita. Nayi sauri na nemi kaya na saka a jikina nabi bayan sa. Baya falo, na dawo na duba dakina can ma baya nan har na fara tunanin ko fita yayi sai kuma na leka naga motarsa tana nan.

Ina kokarin tashi inje inyi sallar da naji ana yi a masallaci sai gashi ya sake shigowa daga waje, ransa a tsananin bace kamar ma yafi sanda ya fita bacin rai. Bai ce min komai ba ya wuce ni ya shiga dakin sa ya rufe kofa. Na tashi na bishi sai naji yayi locking kofar dan haka na wuce nawa dakin nayi alwala na tayar da sallah. 

Na jima akan sallayar bayan na idar ina ta saka wa da warwarewa. Ina ta so in dai daita tunani na ya tafi a direction daya amma na kasa. Shin menene gaskiyar maganar? Da gaske bai san su ba? Da gaske sunzo ne dan su hada mu? Ko kuma dai akwai abinda yake boye min kamar yadda na gani a fuskar sa a first moment dana kira sunan Zuwaira. Who is she?" 

Ban san amsar ba, amma kuma na saka a raina cewa tabbas sai na binciko ta na kuma warware kullin data daura min a zuciya ta.

Anan na zauna har aka kira sallar isha nayi sannan na sake fita inga ko ya fito, banji motsinsa ba na dawo na kwanta a falo ina chatting da friends dina, trying to take my mind off duk abinda ya faru, daga baya kuma na mike na hada tea na sha sannan na tafi dakina na fara shirin kwanciya.

Sai da na gama komai na kashe fitila na kwanta sannay kuma na fara jin haushin Umar, me yasa zaiyi fushi da ni kuma? Me nayi masa? No da akayi wa laifi ba ni ya kamata a lallaba ba kuma sai ayi fushi dani a rufe min kofa? Nayi tsaki ya kai cikin charbi, in naji haushin sa sai kuma inji haushin kaina da nake jin haushin sa.

Zuwa can bacci ya fara dauka na sai naji motsin an bude kofa an shigo dakin. Ya kunna fitila sannan ya kashe na hawo gadon ya shigo cikin rufar da nake ciki sannan ya saka hannu ya jawo ni ta baya ya hada ni da kirjinsa, nayi kamar banji shi ba sai ya fara min magana

"Am sorry Baby, na rufe dakina ko? Raina ne a bace bana son zama inda kike kar in miki tsawa ko in gaya miki wata magana marar dadi, shi yasa na rufe kaina sai da na huce tukunna. Kiyi hakuri kinji?" Yayi kissing bayan kunne na. 

Nayi shiru nayi kamar banji shi ba. Amma kuma a zuciya ta sai naji na daina jin haushin rufe kofar da yayi. Ya cigaba da cewa. "Dama na taba gaya miki tun kafin bikin mu cewa zamu iya samun matsala irin wannan a gidan nan. Akwai yammatan da ni ban ma sam dasu ba da suke kallon kansu a matsayin yammata nane, while ni kuma ba haka bane ba a wajena, kuma nasan wadansun su dole zasu iya yin kokarin yin wani abu dan su shiga tsakanin mu, bazan iya hanasu ba Jidda tunda bansan plans din su ba amma ke zan iya warning dinki dan ki san da su kuma ki toshe kunnuwan ki da kuma zuciyarki daga dukkan abinda zasu zo su gaya miki"

"Nasan akwai wadanda zasu iya zuwa su yi kokarin hada mu, yes, amma bansan har zasu kai ga fadar maganar da zata saka miki zargi na a zuciyarki ba Jidda. Wannan shine abinda ya bata min rai sosai. Kuma the fact that na gani a idonki cewa kin yarda da abinda suka ce shi yafi komai daga min hankali. How can you believe such a lie?" 

Ya fada kamar zai yi kuka. Na juyo ina kallon sa, sai kuma na gyara kwanciya ta na juyi sosai muna facing din juna, na saka hannu ina wasa da sajensa sannan nace "ba wai na yarda da maganar su bane ba akan ka. Ba wai na yarda da maganganun banzan da suka fada bane ba. But I believe somehow akwai sanayya a tsakanin ku. Sun sanka tabbas, kuma sanda na ambaci sunan yarinyar nan sai naga kamar kai ma ka gane ta. I just want the truth shikenan" 

Sai ya cire hannu na daga fuskar sa ya fara kokarin mikewa. "Na gaya miki ban san ta ba, ban san taba. Me yasa kuma zaki cigaba da tambayata? Ni da ace nasan su waye da yanzu suna hannun police dan ba zan kyale su ba wallahi" na mike zaune nima nace "well, I can describe them, and their car. Har number din motar na rike" ya juyo da sauri yana kallona duk da cikin duhu ne. Na daga masa kafada "maybe in na bada description din su police zasu iya nemo su" 

Sai ya mike bai ce komai ba ya fita daga dakin, har na dauka wani fushin ya kuma yi sai gashi ya dawo da jotter a hannun sa da biro, ya kunna fitila sannan ya zauna a bakin gado.

"Oya fada min duk abinda zaki iya tunawa in rubuta, gobe sai in biya ta police station in shigar da complain, cos zasu iya sama masu yiwa robbers leken asiri. Na kuma gaya wa mai gadi daga yau kar ya sake barin kowa ya shigo sai yazo ya gaya miki waye kuma kin yarda tukunna"

Na gyada kai sannan na fara zayyana masa tiryan tiryan duk abinda zan iya tunawa na daga kamannin su da kuma motar da suka zo da ita da kuma maganar da suka yi. A karshe nace "kamar daya daga cikin su tana yin gyaran jiki na mata. Dan naji tayi magana mai kama da haka. Kuma kamar shago ne da ita da take yin aikinta a ciki" sai na ga ya dan ajje biron ya dan dage goshinsa kadan sai kuma ya sake dauka ya rubuta abinda na fada. 

Sai da ya gama ya ajiye takardar, ni kuma na dauka na tabbatar ya rubuta duk abinda na fada sannan nace masa "baka ci abinci ba, kar ka kwanta da yunwa bara in kawo maka nan kaci" ya girgiza kai "no, kiyi kwanciyar ki kawai, zanje in ci" ya sauka daga kan gadon kamar zai fita sai kuma ya juyo yana min murmushi "but don't sleep fa. Ki jira ni inyi miki tatsuniya" na gyara kwanciya ta "tatsuniya bayan wacce kayi min dazu? Nagode Allah ya saka da alkhairi" ya marairaice "mutum dai zaiyi bacci ai zai so a lallaba shi ko?" Na girgiza kaina. "Ni zan iya lallaba kaina"

Washegari da zai fita ni da kaina na dauko takardar na saka masa a hannun sa "kar ka manta" ya saka a aljihunsa "ina sane ai. I will never forget" 

Sannan ya sunkuya gaban cikina "bye bye little Jidda" na juya ido na "ko kuma little Umar ba" ya daga yana dariya "kar kiyi wa kanki wannan fatan. I wasn't that cute sanda ina yaro dan lukuti ne da dan mitsitsin hanci da baki, duk kumatu ya cika fuskar" nayi dariya "zan so in ga pictures din ka" ya zaro ido "ko da wasa ba zanso ki gansu ba, salon ki ce kin fasa. Ai da na girma a haka ko da na tabbatar baki ce min yes ba" na girgiza kai na. "Sanda na fara sonka ban ma kalli fuskarka ba. Bana jin kuma ko wanne kama zan ganka da ita a lokacin zata chanja abinda naji a zuciyata a game da kai. Besides, lukutayen mutane are cute" 

Ya bata rai "kar kisa in fara hada kiba dan kike ce min cute fa" sai muka yi dariya tare. Forgetting about all the tensions na jiya.

Sai dai ban manta ba, yana dawowa ya cire kayansa na duba aljihun hoping inga babu takardar but it was there, exactly yadda na ninke ta daga alama ma ko bude ta ba'ayi ba. Na tsaya da ita a hannu na zuciyata tanayi min zafi, me hakan yake nufi? Dama bashi da niyyar reporting din kawai ya shirya min karya ne? Dama kamar yadda nayi tsammani already ya santa, bashi da niyyar bincikar ko wacece ita" na ajiye rigar da sauri na tafi zanje falo gurinsa amma sai zuciyata ta tunamin wani abu. In naje ma zai iya ce min mantawa yayi, ko kuma ya sake shirya min wasu kalaman. Ni kuma yanzu so nake in tabbatar idan har da gaske ya sanya din. 

Na mayar da takardar inda na ganta sannan na ajiye kayan kamar yadda ya ajiye su na fita, na tarar dashi a falo suna wata da Mama, suka gama ya bani nima muka gaisa tana tambayata saukin jiki. "Akwai wasu magungunan gargajiya na yarabawa, in zan dawo zan taho miki dashi suna taimaka wa mata sosai musamman in ciki yayi nauyi da kuma lokacin haihuwa" nayi murmushi kawai ina jin dadin yadda take damuwa da ni da cikina. 

Bayan na ajiye wayar ne nace masa "ya zancen zuwa gurin police din kuwa? Kaje ?" Bai kalle ni ba yace "naje, can na fara zuwa kafin ma in karasa asibiti, sun karbi takardar kuma sun tabbatar zasu binciko min su, sunce babu matsala musamman tunda akwai plate number din mota ba zasu yi wahalar samu ba" 

Na dauke kaina gefe ina jin tamkar garwashin wuta ya dauka da hannun sa ya saka min a zuciyata. Wasu hawaye masu zafi suka taho min nayi sauri na hadiye su amma sai naji tamkar sun kara min zafin da yake kirjina. Wato wasa kawai yake min da hankali tun jiya. Tun jiya ko kuma tun kafin muyi aure? 

Tabbas ya san su, ya san wacece wannan Zuwaira din, shin amma abinda ta nuna min akwai a tsakanin su menene gaskiyar wannan maganar? Sai naji ba zan iya zama a gurin ba dan sosai nake so inyi kuka. Na tashi na shiga kitchen na turo kofa sannan nayi kuka na silently, still maganar Yaya Jamila tana sake tugging zuciya ta. "I gave him myself" na girgiza kaina da sauri. "No, please God no" 

Na jima a kitchen din sannan naji motsinsa ya taho, na dauko albasa na fara yankawa duk da babu amfanin da zanyi da ita, ya turo kofar yana kallona "Baby zan dan fita amma bazan jima ba zan dawo, zamu hadu da Bashir ne" ya danyi dariya "kinsan mutumin yana ta kokarin ya shiga daga ciki fa, to gidaje zan taya shi dubawa" ban kalle shi ba kuma banyi dariya ko murnar cewa Bashir zaiyi aure ba dan sam hankali na baya gurin maganar sa, I was in no mood for that. 

"A dawo lafiya" na fada shortly, hoping zai fita ya barni da hawayena, amma sai naga ya karasa shigowa "are you okay?" Ya fada cikin concern. Naji kamar in kikkifawa kyakykyawar fuskar sa mari amma sai na dauke kaina na cigaba da yankan albasa ta. "Lfy ta kalau fa. Kaje kawai a dawo lafiya" sai ya ja kujera ya zauna. "In ba kya so in fita na fasa, zan kira shi ince ya sake booking dina next time. Yanzu Baby bata so" 

Na juyo ina kallon sa, sai kuma ya mike ta karbe chopping board din da yake hannuna ya ajiye a gefe "ji albasar nan yadda tasa idon ki yayi ja? Me zaki yi da ita wai? Ba naga akwai abinci ba zai ishe mu har dare? Please ki je ki zauna ki huta in wani abun kike so daban ki gaya min sai in taho miki da shi a waje" na wuce shi ina cewa "okay. A dawo lafiya to"

Ban tsaya a falo ba na shige cikin daki. Ina dakin naji tashin motarsa and for the first time tunda muka yi aure sai naji ina tambayar kaina inda zashi, naji ban yarda da abinda ya gaya min ba a matsayin gurin da zashi. Ko gurinta zai tafi? Zuwairan?

Na bude kofa ta na shiga nasa dakin, kayan suna nan a inda na barsu, na dauka na sake duba aljihun amma yanzu babu takardar a ciki. Ya fita da ita. Kuma na tabbatar zuwa zaiyi ya yar da ita dan na tabbatar mantawa yayi ba yar da ita din ba tun dazun. 

Na ajiye kayan na sake komawa dakina na kwanta ina shafa cikina. What is happening?

Ban kuma tayar masa da maganar ba shima kuma bai kuma yin maganar ba, nayi kamar na manta amma abin yana cikin raina kullum dashi nake kwana da shi nake tashi. Burina kawai in san wacece ita in kuma sam dalilin da yasa yayi min karya yace bai san ta ba. 

A haka har hutun mu ya kare na koma school na shiga third year dina wadda kuma ita ce final, one month into the semester ne mukayi first wedding anniversary din mu, a lokacin kuma cikina kadan ne bai karasa wata takwas ba. Ya girma sosai yayi nauyi ga lafiya dan kullum abin cikin cikin tsalle tsalle yake kamar wanda yake filin ball.

Sosai Umar yayi celebrating dina ranar anniversary din mu. Ya cika social media da kalaman soyayyar sagare ni ni kuma na biye masa na shiga nima nayi ta mayar masa da amsa yan'uwa da abokan arziki suna ta taya mu murna. 

Daya dawo gida daga office kuma sai gashi ya kawo min golden necklace da sabuwar laptop a matsayin anniversary gift, naji dadi sosai na makalkale shi ina ta murna sannan muka shirya muka ci kwalliya muka fita yawo. Muka je gidan mu muka je gidan su, sannan muka je KFC (Kano fried chicken) muka yi dinner da wata fried rice din su na yasan ina so sosai, daga nan muka je see sweet and bakery muka sai ice cream muka hau baranda din su ta can sama muka sha muna hira iska tana kadamu, renewing our love for each other. 

Bayan mun gama kuma muka siyo kayan ciye ciye muka dawo gida, a gidan ma kuma I let him celebrate in his own way, duk da dai nauyin da nayi yanzu ya saka yana dan rangwantamin dan lokuta da yawa ma yakan barni inyi baccina kawai amma ranar sai daya karba. 

Washegari na tashi da ciwon jiki, activities din jiya suna tambaya ta ga kuma gajiya da Umar ya tara min da daddare. Tun da nayi sallah na lallaba na koma na kwanta ina jinsa yana ta shirin fita amma na kasa tashi, yazo gabana ya durkusa yana leka fuskata "hey Baby" na dan yi masa murmushi yace "yayane" na bata rai "ba kai bane na ka saka min ciwon jiki" yayi murmushi yana gyara min gashin fuskata ya kwaikwayi magana ta "ba ke bace ba kika yi kyau da yawa" na murguda masa baki yayi dariya. 

"Akwai school fa" na juya baya na "ni ba zanje ba" ya ce "it is okay. Kiyi kwanciyar ki nima ba dan ina da abubuwa da yawa ba da ba zan fita ba, da zama na zanyi in yi jinyar baby na" na juyo "no, kaje kawai. Na san in na huta sosai shikenan" ya girgiza kai yace "bayan kin huta kuma sai kin ci abinci ai" na tura baki ya kama lips din, "yes, sai kinci abinci. Let me get us something mu ci" 

Sai ya tashi ya fita, na juya na koma baccina zuwa can naji shigowar sa, ya tashe ni na zauna sannan ya jawo mana table ya dora mana plate din indomie da ya dafa mana da kwai ga kuma tea, dama ya iya dafa indomie sosai dan sau da yawa in dai ita zamu ci to shi ne yake dafa mana. Muka cinye tas muka sha tea sannan na koma na kwanta, har da kawo min robar ruwa kusa dani wai ko zan nema ba sai na tashi ba, sannan yayi min sallama ya fita.

Yana fita nakoma bacci na, bacci mai nauyi wanda ban farka ba har kusan karfe biyu, shima kuma nepa ne sula dauke wuta zafi ya tashe ni, ina farkawa wayata na fara dubawa dan nasan ya kira kuma naga two missed calls din sa, nayi murmushi na kira shi bugu daya ya dauka. "Baby na ta tashi daga bacci" nayi murmushi "amma bai ishe ni fa, nefa sun dauke" yace "bara in kira mai gadi ya kunna miki gen" na ce "nooo, baccin ya ishe ni haka ai. Gwara in tashi in dan motsa miki na kuma inyi sallah" 

Yace "Okay. Amma kinji dadin jikin?" Na dan yamutsa fuska "har yanzu ciwo" yayi dariya "bana son shagwaba Baby, ki bari zan dawo in yi miki tausa" nace "kayi min tausa ko kuma ka kara min gajiya. Kai ai wayo ne da kai" 

Muka jima muna hirar mu sannan muka yi sallama na tashi nayi sallah sannan na koma na kwanta, na dauko waya ta na kira Farhan muka yi hira tana gaya min drama din da a ke tayi a social media har screen shot din kalaman da mukayi da Umar ake yi ana sharing. Nayi dariya sannan nace mata bara in duba. 

Na bude ina ta replying messages din mutane a WhatsApp, sannan naje facebook shima nayi sai kuma naga friend request da yawa, a ciki na san akwai na friends dina da har yanzu bamu hadu ba.

A hankali nake bi nake zabar wadanda na sani ina accepting wadanda ba sani ba kuma ima rejecting har nazo kan wani suna daya dauki hankali na. "Zuwaira Abdulkadir (Zuzu)" Gaba na ya fadi, na danna kan profile picture dinta ya bude min and there she is, kallo daya nayi wa hoton na gane ta duk da cewa ta sha kwalliya kamar wata amarya ranar bikinta.

Na shiga profile dinta farkon abinda na fara dubawa shine friends dinta, and Umar Faruq Dikko was listed as our mutual friend. Na lumshe idona na bude ina jin zafin karyar da yayi min yana sake dawowa. Nayi ta dubawa cikin posts dinta wadanda mostly akan tallan saloon din ta take yi sai pictures dinta da take yawan sakawa da sunan yin tallan kwalliyar da take yi. A kowanne hoto tana samun 1k+ likes da kuma hundreds comments. But a iyakacin dubawa ta banga na Umar ba.

Na dawo kan friend request din data turo min, ina duba options din accept and reject da facebook suka bani, na sani cewa kamata yayi inji rejecting in wuce gurin amma zuciyata tana son sanin wacece ita kuma menene alakar ta da mijina da har yayi min karya akan ta duk da takowar da tayi tazo har gida na.

Sai kawai na danna accept. Sannan na fita daga facebook din na ajiye wayar na tashi na fara gyara gida na da tun safe ban gyara shi ba. Da yake babu datti, nan da nan na gama na gyara ko ina fes na saka turaren wuta sannan nayi wanka na fito nayi sallar laasar. Ina idarwa na sake ganin missed call dinsa, na kira shi back ya na tambaya ta jikina nace masa na warware, duk na jishi agajiye sai yace min tun safe bai zamu zama ba ya gaji sosai gashi akwai wani aiki da zasuyi yanzu, amma yana gamawa zai taho gida. Daga haka muka yi sallama.

Na shiga kitchen na dora abinci sai ma dawo palo na kunna kallo, ina yi ina shan fruits dina ina kuma duba girki nahar na gama na kawo dining na ajiye, a lokacin ne na sake dauko wayata da niyyar duba ko an sake turo min wasu congratulatory messages din, sai tunanin sabuwar facebook friend dina ya zo min, sai na bude messanger ta na fara duba can. 

Ina budewa kuwa na ga sako daga gare ta,

"Hi"

Na jima ina duba wa, wata zuciyar tana gaya min inyi ignoring wata kuma tana gaya min in amsa dan in samu amsar tambayoyi na. Sai nayi replying

"Salam" 

Two seconds sai gata online, ta turo min

"Amarya ya kike? Ya unborn?"

Sai naji haushin kaina dana kula ta in the first place, har nayi niyya fita daga chat din sai ta sake turo min message

"Ina angon? Ko yau ma har yanzu yana office. Lol"

Naji raina ya fara baci. Na bata amsa

"Inda yake, da kuma abinda yake yi ba abinda ya shafe ki bane ba"

Sai ta min reply

"Really? Ko da kuwa inda yake din gida na ne kuma abinda yake yi shine bacci akan kirjina?" 

Naji wani abu ya daki zuciyata har wani duhu ne ya ratsa ido na. Na dafe kaina ina kokarin dawo da tunani na gare ni sai ta sake min magana 

"Ya kika yi shiru? Ko babu amsa? Ya gaya min ai ce miki yayi zai shiga surgery sai anjima zai dawo. Ko ba haka yace ba?" 

Hannuna yana rawa na rubuta mata 

"You are lying. Kina so ne ki bata shi a gurina dan ki samu abinda kike so daga gare shi. Karya kike kuma. Kinyi kadan ki hada ni da mijina. Na san shi, nasan abinda zaiyi da kuma wanda ba zaiyi ba kuma abinda kike fada yana daga cikin abinda na san ba zaiyi ba"

"Really? Kin tabbatar kin san shi? For how many years? Bana jin kinyi sama da shekara biyu da sanin sa. Ni kuma yanzu shekarun mu takwas tare da shi. Ko quarter din abinda na sani a kansa ke baki sani ba wallahi. Kuma bana jin har abada zaki sani"

Kafin in gama karantawa in gama fahimta wani sakon ya shigo, sai wani, sannan wani, haka tayi ta turo min messages.

"In nace miki nasan komai a kansa ina nufin komai, nasan cikinsa na san kuma wajensa. Gidan da kuke zaune a ciki ma ni na fara zama a cikinsa, shekara ta guda har da watanni a cikin gidan kuma zamansa nayi, sai da zai tafi India ne ya nema min wani gurin na tashi saboda zai bar gidan a hannun iyayensa"

"Ya tafi da alkawarin idan ya dawo zamuyi aure"

"Bayan ya dawo ya kama aiki ya fara kokarin settling down ya kuma tara kudin auren, kawai kuma daga baya sai ji nayi wai yayi aure"

"A lokacin munyi fada sosai. Na dauka ma mun rabu har abada dan munyi wajen six months bamu ga juna ba"

"Sai daga baya kuma sai gashi ya dawo da kansa, you should see him begging me to take him back,daga dukkan alama ya rasa abinda yake samu daga gare ni agurin ki"

"A lokacin kuma ya gaya min dalilin da yasa ya aure ki"

"Ba wai sonki yake ba, kar ma ki saka haka a ranki cos you are nothing special to him. Sha'awar ki yake yi tun  sanda ya fara ganin ki. Ya kuma kasa samun abinda yake so a gurin ki shi yasa dole ya aure ki dan ya kashe kishirwar sa"

"Yaso ya samu time sosai da ke a waje, dan ya ja hankalin ki har ya karbi abinda yake so shi yasa ma har ya nema miki makaranta amma baban ku yace aure zai miki  a lokacin, saboda ya karbi kudin fansho yana so yayi miki kayan daki da shi kar su kare ya rasa yadda zaiyi"

"Yes, shi ya gaya min wannan"

"Ya kuma gaya min cewa yana gama biyan duk bukatun sa da ke zai aika ki gidan ku muyi auren mu. Amma sai naji shiru, kullum karyar yau daban ta gobe daban" 

"Shi yasa naje gidan ku ranar nan dan inga whats holding him"

"A lokacin ne naga cikin jikin ki. Sai na fahimci plan din ki kenan na rike shi, kina ganin in kika haihu da shi ba zai iya rabuwa da ke ba albarkacin yara"

"A lokacin ne kuma naga rubabbun kayan dakin da akayi miki da kudin fansho"

"Yes, yayi fadan me yasa naje gidan sa, amma I guess fadan iyakacin na fatar baki ne dan ba zai iya rabuwa da shiga in between legs dina ba"

"Dan haka ki sani cewa Faruq nawa ne ni kadai. Gwara ki tattara ki kara gaba tun kafin ya tsofar dake ki rasa wanda zai kwasa in kin fita"


Ban san sanda na fita daga messenger din ba, na fara neman number din Umar hannuna yana karkarwa, so nake kawai ya dauka in tabbatar da cewa karya take yi cewa yana tare da ita a yanzu, in na tabbatar da haka to zan tabbatar da cewa karya take duk sauran maganganun ta.

Wayar ta fara ringing har ta katse babu amsa, na sake kira, na sake kira duk shiru. A hankali nake cewa "pick up Umar pick up" amma umar bai yi picking up ba. 

Sai naga message ya shigo min da bakuwar number

"Shshshsh. Stop calling him Baby Dove. Na gaya miki bacci yake yi. Ya gaji sosai a office shine ya taho guri na ya sauke gajiyar sa sannan yake bacci"

Baby Dove shine sunan da yayi saving number ta dashi a wayarsa.



Anan muka kawo karshen free pages na wannan littafin Jidda. A yanzu ne kuma battle din zai soma.

Shin ya zata kwashe tsakanin Umar da Jidda? Menene makomar aurensu?

Ku biyo Maman Maama dan it is going to be a long ride dan ba'a ma fara wasan ba.

This is going to be one of the best novels da kuka karanta.

This is the novel I want to be remembered with........


*Wanan littafin na amana ne, dan Allah in baki siya ba kar ki karanta in kuma kin siya kar kiyi sharing idan kuma kika yi kinci amana kuma ke da Allah*

*The Denial 2*

Na san dai wayar ta fadi kasa daga hannuna ta daki kan kafafuwana sannan ta sauka akan carpet, na kuma san ni ma nabi wayar ta wa na durkusa akan kafafuwana. Sai dai abinda ban sani ba shine seconds ko minutes ko kuma hours din da na dauka a haka. 

Ba zan iya tuna mai nayi tunani ba a lokacin dan bana jin ƙwaƙwalwa ta ta cigaba da aiki, a lokacin bana jin ko sunana aka tambaye ni zan iya fada saboda tsananin shock da zuciya ta, ƙwaƙwalwa ta da kuma gangar jiki na suka shiga gabaki daya. Komai nawa ya tsaya, kuma bai dawo da aikiba har sai da ya bude kofa ya shigo palon.

Na dago kai daga kallon carpet din da nake yi na sauke ido na a kan sa,abu na farko dana fara lura a tattare dashi shine yadda fatar idonsa ta dan tasa exactly yadda take yi idan yayi bacci mai nauyi. 

Na dafa kujera na mike a hankali, gabaki daya na ma manta da cewa ina dauke da juna biyu ballantana har in ji nauyinsa. Muka tsaya muna kallon kallo, na ga ya ajiye jakar hannunsa tare da key din motarsa sannan cikin wata irin murya yace "Jidda?" Na tabbatar yanayin kamanni na kadai sun tsoratar dashi. 

Na danyi gyaran murya a hankali sannan a nutse nace masa "daga ina kake?" Yanayin fuskarsa ya chanza, a yanzu da idona ya bude sai na fahimci rashin gaskiya baro baro a cikin fuskar sa wadda da da ne ba lallai ne in fahimci hakan ba. 

"What? Ba gane daga ina nake ba" na gyara tsayuwata ina a raina ina lissafo  abinda yafi komai nauyi a falon wanda kuma zan iya dauka in doka masa shi a kansa ko ya dawo cikin hayyacin sa ya fahimci am in no mood for any of his jokes.

"Daga ina kake?" Na sake maimaita wa "tambaya ce nayi maka ita cikin harshen Hausa, ko kuma baka jin hausa ne yanzu?" Ya tako da sauri zuwa i da nake yana miko hannunsa jikina "Jidda lafiyar ki kuwa? Inna lillahi wa inna ilaihir rajiun" na juya a fusace da nauki pillow da yafi kusa dani na doke hannunsa dashi "don't touch me in ba haka ba wallahi sai naji maka rauni. 

Ya dakata, hannunsa a makale a cikin iska yace "na shiga uku" nayi taku daya baya sannan na sake cewa "daga ina kake?" Wannan karon cikin tsawar daban san ina da irin wannan karfin da kuma muryar ba. Ya kuma kokarin miko hannunsa gare ni sannan yace "Baby daga office mana. Kinfi kowa sanin daga office nake tunda dazu ma munyi waya na gaya miki ina can. Yanzun nan muka fito daga......" "Surgery" na kara sa masa "exactly abinda tace min zaka fada min. Ohh you are so predictable Umar" 

Naga mamaki a fuskarsa "what? Wacece tace miki zan gaya miki haka?" Nace "Zuwaira, karuwar ka. Zuwairan da sam baka taba da sanin ta ba, zuwairan da ka taho yanzu daga gidan ta bayan ka gama sauke gajiyar office dinka a jikinta sannan ka shaki baccinka akan kirjinta. Yes, that same Zuwaira ita ce ta gaya min" 

Sai naga yayi baya da sauri tamkar wanda na watsa wa garwashin wuta sannan ya rufe bakinsa da hannayensa guda biyu idonsa kamar zai fado kasa "what!?" Ya fada da karfi. "Wacce irin magana ce wannan kike yi Jidda? Can you even listen to your self?"

Ban bashi amsa ba sai na sake daukan pillows biyu a both hannayena na fara dukan sa da su, so nake yi inyi kuka kamar yadda na saba yin kuka a duk sanda wani abu ya faru komai kankantarsa amma yau babu ko digon hawaye a idona. Na fahimci ba jin dukan yake yi da pillows din ba sai na jefar dasu na dunkule hannuna daya na fara dukan kirjinsa da shi hoping in samu zuciyarsa inyi mata rauni kamar yadda yayi wa tawa zuciyar raunin da zai zauna a cikin ta har abada.

"Why Umar? Why? Why? Why?"

"Me nayi maka da nayi deserving wannan daga gare ka?"
"Me nayi maka da zaka sakawa soyayya ta da cin amana irin wannan?"
"Me nayi maka da ka zabe ni a cikin mata kayi min wannan hukuncin?"
"Me nayi maka?" 

Gabakidaya ya rikice. Fuskarsa tayi fari kal kamar takarda, fatar bakinsa ta bushe lokaci daya tamkar ya wuni bai sha ruwa ba. Farko tsayawa yayi kawai kamar gunki yana kallo na sai kuma ya fara kokarin rike ni "Jidda, listen to me. Ki fada min me yake faruwa dan Allah. Please don't hurt yourself"

Na tura shi baya da dukkan karfina amma sai ya kasance ni ce nayi bayan ba shi ba, yayi sauri ya tare ni yana kokarin hada hannayena guri daya ya rike amma na sake kwacewa na cigaba da neman abinda zan dake sji dashi. Idona ya kai kan wayata, sabuwar wayar da ya siyo min jiya a matsayin first wedding anniversary gift, na sunkuya na dauka na jefa masa ita, ya kauce ta daki bango tarwatse a gurin.

Na nuna shi da danyatsa 

"wallahi da nasan abinda zai faru tsakani na da kai kenan da ranar nan ban fito daga hostel na gaishe da yan gidan su Mufida ba"

"Da nasan sakayyar da zaka yi min kenan da ban amshi fake soyayyar ka ba"

"Da ana chanja kaddara Umar da banyi kawance da kanwarka ba ballantana har in hadu da kai"

Ya sake kokarin magana. "Allahumma ajirni fi musibati. Jidda me nayi miki mai zafi haka? Wacce Zuwaira kike magana akai ne? Bayan ni na gaya miki bansan wata Zuwaira ba ballantana har tace miki wai daga gidanta nake yanzu nayi bacci a.... common Jidda......I thought you trusted me. Dan me zaki dauki words of a stranger akan na mijin ki?"

Nace "trust? Of course I trusted you tun daga ranar dana ganka har zuwa ranar da ka tarwatsa trust dina da bango, ranar da ka yi min karya kace baka san ta ba bayan kuma ka santa. Har ka rants min kace kai wallahi baka santa ba" 

Yace "to waye yace miki na santa? Bayan nima har yanzu neman ta nake in hada ta da police....." 

Na daga masa hannu cikin tsawa nace "stop lying damn it. Just stop lying. I saw the paper okay. Paper din da kace min ka bawa police I saw it a aljihun ka bayan ka gaya min ka bawa police, sai daga baya ka dauke ta ka fita da ita daga gidan nan"

"And I saw you on Facebook as her friend. And then she told me everything da yake tsakanin ku da kuma everything daka gaya mata akaina"

Naga ya motsa bakinsa amma sai ya kasa cewa komai. 

Na koma na tsaya a gabansa nace "daga gidan ta kake, yes or no?" 

Yayi saurin girgiza kai "wallahi Jidda ba daga gidan ta nake ba. Yes I know her and I lied to you about that amma wallahi abinda ta gaya miki na cewa daga gidan ta nake kuma wai..... Jidda wallahi karya take yi" na sake taku bawa ina girgiza kaina "you just won't stop lying will you?" Sai na juya na tafi hanyar corridor ina cewa 

"Tunda ba zaka fada min gaskiya ba sai kaje ka fada wa Abba, dan gidan mu zan tafi kuma sai na gaya masa kaf abinda ya faru da dukkan abinda tace min" 

Taku biyu yayi ya kamo ni tun kafin in shiga corridor din "innalillahi Jidda me kike cewa? Ki tsaya muyi magana ni da ke ki yardada abinda nake gaya miki. Karya take yi min, sharri take yi min, so take ta haɗa ni da ke?" 

Na juyo ina kallon sa, in akwai abinda yafi karshen tashin hankali to anan gurin yake. Nace "it seems like kowa yanzu a duniya sharri yake yi maka. Kowa yanzu kokari yake yi ya hada ka dani. While kai kuma cigaba kake yi da yi min karya. Just admit cewa daga gidan ta kake"

Ya daga kafada "ta yaya zanyi admitting laifin da nasan ban aikata ba? Ni ba daga gidanta nake ba, ni ban ma san a inda gidan ta yake ba" naji raina yana cigaba da baci, zuciya ta ta a kara kuna nace "sanda na kira ka dazu kana ina? And don't tell me kana surgery" 

I saw him struggling with his inner self, "ina tare da Mahmud abokina" na dafe kaina da naji yana neman sara wa tare da rintse ido na dana fara ganin duhu da su, ya samu damar rike ni. "Wallahi Jidda da gaske nake. In baki yarda ba ga wayata ki kira shi da kanki ki tambayeshi zai fada miki haka. Na taso daga aiki na gaji sosai ina jin bacci ba zan iya driving ba shine na tsaya a gurinsa nayi bacci, ina farkawa na taho nan, sai da na shigo gidan nan ma sannan naga missed calls din ki"

Na saki goshin da na rike ina kallon sa nace "shi Mahmud din shine ya dauki wayarka kenan yaga sanda na kira ka kuma ya kira ta ya gaya mata cewa na kira ka at that exact time, sannan kuma ya gaya mata sunan da kayi saving number ta dashi? Kuma ya tura mata number dina cikin wayarta?" 

Ya tsaya shiru yana kallona, and i guessed he was trying to understand magana ta, sai na saukaka masa na bashi amsa "she sent me a text message and called me Baby Dove. Now, explain to me ta yaya ta samu number ta kuma ta san cewa na kira ka sannan kuma ta yaya ta san wannan sunan idan har ba kwa tare?" 

Ya tsaya shiru kamar mutum mutumi ba tareda ya iya furta koda kalma daya ba. Na sake shi nace "now finally mun fahimci juna cewa daga gurinta kake, abinda ya rage shine kayi admitting dukkan abubuwan da ta fada min. Daga karshe ni kuma sai in dauki shawarar data bani in san inda dare yayi min tun kafin ka karasa tsofar dani" 

Na juya na shige ciki, ina jinsa ya biyo bayana a corridor "Jidda. At least ki bani damar yi miki bayani. Ban san me tace miki ba, ammana tabbatar miki da cewa karya take yi kamar yadda take yin karya cewa daga gidan ta nake, in na miki bayani zaki fahimta. In kin bani dama zan yi miki bayani" 

Na rike hannun kofar dakinana juyo "ba sai ka bata lokacin ka ba gurin yi min bayani ba na riga na fahimci komai" na nuna shi da danyatsa na "you never loved me, ka aure ni ne dan biyan buƙatar gangar jikinka, kuma I guess ka gama biya tunda har ka koma gurin karuwan ka" 

Ya bude ido da baki duka "that's rediculous! Yanzu har akwai wanda zai gaya miki yace miki bana son ki kuma ki yarda?" Na juya na shige daki ina cigaba dayi masa bitar abubuwan da ta fada da karfi yadda zai shiga cikin kansa sosai kamar yadda ya shiga nawa kan

"Ba sona kake yi ba sha'awa ta kayi a wancan lokacin, Ka saka ni a makaranta saboda ka samu time din biyan mummunar buƙatar ka sai kuma Abba yayi maka cikas yace aurar dani zaiyi dan ya karbi kudin fansho baya son su kare bai yi min kayan daki ba"

Naji dukkan rage din dana ke ta kokarin rikewa ya kwace a lokaci daya, na fara diban kayan da suke kan dressing mirror dina ina jifan sa dasu ina kara "I hate you. I hate you" 

"Zaka dauki magana ta kaje ka gaya wa ƙaruwar ka saboda kana son shiga tsakanin cinyoyin ta? Ka wuce kaina ma har ka tafi kan iyaye na? Me nayi maka? Me iyayena suka yi maka?" 

Shock din magana ta yasa ya daskare a guri daya, wanny ya bawa wadansu daga cikin kayan da naje jifansa dasu damar samunsa, wata kwalbar turare ta daki bango ta fashe a tsakanin mu, sai a lokacin ne ya motsa ya tsallake ta da sauri ya janye ni da kar in taka. Ya fara kokarin rike ni ina tureshi.

"Menene laifin da Abba yayi maka da har zaka yi zancen sa da ƙaruwar ka? Menene laifinsa dan ya dauki kudin da yayi shekara da shekaru yana tarawa ya kuma yi wa yarsa aure da su? Halaliyar sa, gumin sa, menene laifin sa da har za'a aibanta shi har haka?" 

Yace "Jidda kema kanki kinsan wannan maganar banza ce, ni kaina kin taba gaya min da wanne kudi Abban mu yayi mana kayan daki?" Na ture shi ina nuna shi da dan yatsa, "kar ka kara. Kar ka sake kiran Abba da sunan Abban ka dan bai haife ka ba, bai haifi da irin ka ba. Shi Abba talaka ne daya shafe shekaru yana koyarwa a matsayin malamin makaranta yake kuma cin gumin sa yana kula da iyalansa. Kai kuwa babanka mai kudi ne, mai kudin da har ya iya siya maka gida ya baka kai kuma ka saka karuwa a ciki ta zauna har na tsahon shekara guda ba tare da ya sani ba. To albishirinka, yanzu zai sani. Yanzu kowa zai san wanene Umar"

Sai naga ya ja da baya sannan kuma da sauri ya fita daga dakin, nayi tunanin guduwa yayi ko kuma magana tace tayi masa zafi sai na bishi da sauri dan ban gama da shi ba tukunna. 

Kofar dakinsa na gani a bude dan haka nan na shiga. Yana tsaye a gaban  locker din da yake ajiye mana First aid drugs, ban lura da abinda yake yi ba dan bashi bane a gaba na ba, na tsaya a bayansa na cigaba

"Gwara ma ka nemo takarda da biro, in baka dasu ni zan ara maka dan a yau dinnan ba gobe ba zan bar gidan ka" ya juyo sai kawai naga ya rungume ni, na fara kokarin kwacewa amma sai ya matse ni sosai da dukkan karfin sa, ya saka fuskar sa a dai dai tawa, ina jin yadda fatarsa ta dauki zafi numfashin sa yana fita kamar na mai zazzabi a hankali yace 

"Ba zan rabu da ke ba Jidda. Not now, not ever. Saboda ina sonki fiye da yadda nake son kaina. In kinga na rabu dake to ki tabbatar kabari aka kai ki  ko kuma ni aka kaini. Am sorry for this and for everything" 

Sai naji shigar allura a cinya ta, nayi kokarin yin motsi da fatan allurar zata same ni a inda ba zan tashi ba amma ya rike ni gam gam har sai daya zare syring din ya jefar dashi.

A hankali naji jikina ya fara saki, sannan kaina ya fara juyawa ina ganin abubuwa suna rabuwa bibbiyu. Sai naji ya sake ni sannan kumaya dauke ni chak ya dora akan gadonsa, na bishi da kallo ina ganin yaddaykae gyara min kwanciya har da saka min pillow a baya na da kuma kasan marata yadda zanji dadi, sai kuma ya gyara min hannu na daya lankwashe sannan ya durkusa a gaban gadon yana shafa fuska ta.

"Am very sorry Baby, nayi miki allurar bacci saboda ina tsoron kai kiyi hurting kanki ko babyn mu" ni sai a lokacin ma na tuna akwai cikin sa a jikina. Ya cigaba "ina kuma fatan zuciyarki zata huce kafin ki farka dan in samu ki bani dama inyi miki bayanin da na tabbatar zamu fahimci juna. Amma tun kafin nan ina tabbatar miki da cewa kaso tamanin cikin dari na abinda matar can ta gaya miki karya ne. Babbar karyar kuma ita ce zancen Abba, wallahi ban gaya mata ba" 

Na bude bakina zanyi magana amma shima naji yayi min nauyi, kalma dy ce ta fito daga ciki "Umar". "I am here with you. I am never going any where" ya fada yana zura yatsunsa cikin nawa, sannan ya sunkuyo yayi kissing goshina. "Umar" na sake fada, sannan hawayen da nake ta fatan suzo tun dazu suka ki zuwa sai yanzu suka zubo daga idona. 

Na mayar da idon na rufe. And I slept.. 

Sanda na farka cikin dare ne, ba zan iya tuna karfe nawa ba ne ba amma nasan dare ya raba sosai. Abinda na fara gani shine fuskar Umar. Yana zaune a gaban gadon da yawa ta a hannun sa, daga dukkan alamu ya hado tane daga inda ta tarwatse. Tashin hankali rubuce baro baro akan fuskar sa.

Na dafe kaina da naji yana barazanar tarwatse wa, motsin da nayi ya jawo hankalin sa kaina, yayi sauri ya ajiye wayar sannan ya karaso yana kokarin mayar da ni ya kwantar. Na daga masa hannu kuma naci saa ya dakata bai karaso din ba.

Na mike zaune na ziro kafafuwana kasa ina kokarin mikewa tsaye "dan Allah ki kwanta Jidda. Kar ki je ki fadi fa ga shi ba ke kadai ba ce ba" na juya na zanga masa harara tare da dogon tsaki sannan na mike "ina zaki je?" Ya sake tambaya ta na ce "sallah zanyi, sallar magrib da isha da ka yi min allura ka hana ni yi akan lokaci, alhaki a kanka kuma ban yafe ba"

Bai ce komai ba na shiga toilet nayi alwala na fito na tayar da sallah a zaune dan yadda nake jin kaina yana juyawa ba zan iya yi a tsaye ba. Nayi magrib nayi isha sai da na idar na fara addu'a nazodai dai gabar da nake yi wa Umar addu'a kullum sai naji n kasa, naji bansan me zan roka a gameda shi ba, shin Allah ya raba ni da shi zance ko kuma ya cire min sonsa? Ko kuma addu'ar zanyi Allah ya daidaita mu.

Naji messages din Zuwaira suna replaying a kaina kamar yanzu ne take aiko min dasu, sun saukar da wani irin daci daci yaji yaji a cikin zuciyata wanda ya kawo hawaye cikin ido na, sai na rufe fuskata da hijab dina nafara rusa kuka kamar Allah ne ya aiko ni inyi shi. Duk kukan da banyi ba jiya shi na hada nake yi yanzu. Bai rarrashe ni ba har sai da nayi ya ishe ni sannan na goge ido na na dafa gado na mike na tafi bakin kofa.

Ina murdawa naji ta a rufe, na juyo cikin dacin rai ina kallon sa "open this door" ya bini da kallo da jajayen idanuwan sa da suka yi kamar shima kukan yayi, na sake maimaita wa "ka bude min kofa nace" ya mike tsaye yana girgiza kansa. "Bazan iya barin ki ki fita ba Jidda har sai munyi magana mun fahimci juna. Kiyi hakuri ki dawo ciki"

Na saki hannun kofar sannan na dawo na wuce shi na koma kan gado na kwantana ja bargo na rufe har kaina sannan na cigaba da kuka na, sai dai ban dade ina yi ba bacci ya dauke ni tunda har lokacin akwai sauran allurar da yayi min a tare dani.

Ban kuma farkawa ba sai bayan assuba, har gari ya fara haske. Na tashi ina jin kaina ya bude sosai, jikina da zuciyata kuma sunyi nauyi. Yana zaune akan sallaya da Alqur'ani a gabansa yana karanta wa, da alama anan ta kwana dan banga alamar an kwanta a kusa da ni ba, nayi shiru ina tunanin last time da naga yayi karatun Alkur'ani.

Na sauko na shiga toilet nayi alwala na dawo na tayar da sallar asuba, ina idarwa na danyi adduoi na sannan na fara azkar wadanda narike a kaina dan dama a wayata nake karantowa kullum wanda Aunty Surayya take turo mana a group din Maman Maama novels, yanzu kuma wayar tana hannunsa kuma bani da niyyar yi masa magana ballantana in tambaye shi inda take.

Ina cikin yi naji ya katse karatun ya tashi ya mayar da Alqur'anin inda yake sannan ya bude kofa ya fita sannan naji ta rufe ta waje. Na ja tsaki na harari kofar a raina ina cewa dole dai zai bude ni kuma dole in tafi gidan mu. 

Bai jima sosai ba ya kuma dawowa, ya sake rufe kofar ya saka key din a aljihun sa sannan yazo gabana ya ajiye min tray din hannunsa wanda yake dauke da cup din tea da kuma plate din da naga soyayyen kwai a ciki. Sai kuma ya zauna kusa dani, kafadar sa a jikin tawa mun jingina a jikin gado. 

"Ki ci abinci dan Allah....." "ba zan ci ba" "kin san dai ba ke kadai bace ba ko? Little Jidda tana bukatar abincin ita, Idan ke kina fushi da Umar little Jidda bata yi saboda ke zaki iya chanja Umar a duk lokacin da kika so ita kuma ba zata iya ba"

"Ba zan ci ba" na sake maimaita wa. Yayi ajjiyar zuciya "okay amma zaki saurare ni ko?" Nace "kunne ne yake ji ai, kayi ta magana zasu ji ka" yace "zanyi kokarin shigar da magana ta zuwa kunnen, sannan inyi fatan zata wuce har cikin zuciyar Jidda kuma jiddan zata bawa kwakwalwar ta damar duba maganar da yi mata kyakykyawar fahimta"

"Da farko dai zan baki hakuri akan laifin da nayi miki. Laifin da nayi miki kuwa shine nayi miki karya nace ban san Zuzu ba alhalin na santa din. Sai dai ina so ki sani cewa nayi hakan ne dan gudun bacin ranki. Dan nasan in dai nace na santa sai kinja maganar har ta kaiki ga sanin abinda zai bata miki rai. Na dauka in nace ban santa ba shikenan zamu rufe babinta har abada"

Na juyo ina kallon sa, hawaye yana bin fuska ta "for how many years ka san ta?" Yace "getting to eight, kamar yadda ta gaya miki" na gyada kai. Ya fara fadar gaskiya at last.

Sai ya cigaba

"But wannan shi kadai ne gaskiya a cikin dukkan maganganun data gaya miki" na dago kai da sauri, there we go again, karyar ta dawo.

Ya gyada kai yana kokarin nuna min iyakacin gaskiyar sa kenan. Nace "kana nufin bata zauna a gidan nan ba? Baka ajiye ta a gidan nan har na tsahon shekara guda da watanni ba?" Ya dafe kai "shine maganar da nasan in nayi miki admitting na santa tun a wancan lokacin sai kin binciko kuma ba lallai bane ki fahimci yadda maganar take ba. Jidda wallahi ba irin zaman da ta gaya miki munyi bane ba, ba irin zaman da kike tunani bane ba"

Na fara girgiza kaina, "you are not ready to talk, tunda ba zaka gaya min gaskiya ba" ya kama fuskata ya juyo da ita ina kallon sa. "Look at me Jidda, ta zauna a gidan nan amma wallahi ba irin zaman da kike tunani bane ba. Budurwar Mahmud ce, suna tare tun muna buk sai ta samu matsala da iyayen ta akan lalacewar tarbiyyar ta suka kore ta, ni kuma lokacin Baba ya siya min wannan gidan babu komai a cikinsa sai ya roke ni in bata aro zata zauna ta karasa karatu anan tunda yana kusa da makaranta, shine na basu, suka zauna ita da friends dinta suna zuwa school daga nan, har lokacin da zan tafi India nace lallai su tashi dan zan bar key a gida kuma in Baba da Mama suka san da mata a gidan nan ba zasu fahimce ni ba, zasu yi min irin fahimtar da kika yi min yanzu ne"

"A lokacin ne take gaya min wai ita dama tana so na ne, kuma zata iya rabuwa da Mahmud indai har zan karbi soyayyar ta kuma zamuyi aure. Na nuna mata ni ba zan ci amanar friend dina ba, besides kuma ni tarbiyyar ta bata yi min a matsayin matar da zan aura ba."

"She kept stalking me through social media, sun bar gidan nawa amma taki rabuwa dani kullum sakon yau da ban na gobe daban ni kuma ban taba nuna mata na yarda ina son ta din ba amma ba wai ina wulakanta ta bane ba, a gurina we are just friends."

"Ina dawowa sai ta cigaba da yi min zancen aure, wai ta gaji da zama babu aure and other stuffs, kuma wai ita ni take so ta aura ba Mahmud ba, shi kuma dana gwada yi masa maganar aurenta sai ya nuna min shi ba zai iya aurenta ba cos sun riga sun lalace a waje. Wannan yasa nima kuma na kara yin baya da ita, friendship din ma na katse shi na daina replying messages din ta. But still suna tare da Mahmud din."

"Ya bude Saloon yanzu anan kan zoo road, akwai bangaren mata akwai kuma bangaren maza to sai ya bata aiki a gurin, tana yin gyaran jiki na mata, kwalliya and other girls stuff, akwai kuma inda ake aski na maza da sauran al'amuran maza. To anan ne kadai muke haduwa Jidda"

"Bayan bikin mu she complained cewa ban gaya mata zanyi aure ba ban gayyace taba amma zata zo har gida ta ga amarya ta ta kuma ga wadda ta kwace mata ni. We joked  about it na dauka da wasa take yi dan bana son mai irin tarbiyyar ta anywhere near my family amma sai tazo din. Bana son kiyi finding out ta taba zama a gidan nan shi yasa nace miki ban santa ba"

"Bayan tazo din nayi mata warning cewa in ta kuma zuwa zan hada ta da police da gaske. Sannan kuma na gaya wa shi Mahmud halin da muke ciki ni da ita da kuma abinda tayi miki nace ya ja mata kunne kar ta sake sai ya nuna min shima tuni ya sallama wa duniya ita, yanzu kawai a matsayin employee take a gurinsa babu wasu strings attached a tsakanin su, kum yayi warning dina cewa she is desperately looking for a husband, aure take so tayi ta kowacce hanya dan haka in zama careful"

"To jiyan na gaji a office, ga bacci da yake idona bana jin zan iya dogon driving shine na tsaya a gurinsa na kwanta a reception dinsa nayi bacci sannan na saka waya ta a charge a kusa dani. Wannan shine kawai abinda na sani. Ina farkawa na dauki wayata nayi masa sallama na fito na taho nan" 

"Jidda wallahi wallahi wannan shine iyakacin gaskiyar magana. Na kira shi jiya da daddare na tambayeshi kuma ya tabbatar min tana gurin a lokacin da nake bacci sai dai yace bai ga sanda ta dauki waya ta ba"

"Yes, ina zama muyi magana da ita idan na shiga gurin, amma wallahi Jidda ban taba yi mata maganar ki ba ballantana maganar Abba ko wani source of income dinsa" 

Ya karasa kamar zai fashe da kuka.

"Na hadiye yawu nace "a ina ta sani kenan? Ko wahayi akayi mata?"

Ya rike hannayena Yace "Jidda ke yarinya ce, so innocent, kuma background dinki ba irin na wannan rayuwar bane ba. Matar nan rikakkiyar yar duniya ce, ta san kan bariki fiye da sanin ki dan shi kansa Mahmud yanzu tafi karfinsa. She have so many sources na samun duk abinda take so including labari, zata iya sakawa a bincika mata labari a kanki and she used that to hurt you kawai dan tasan zaki yadda da abinda tace miki na cewa nine na gaya mata, tasan you are naive ba zaki fahimci zata iya bincike akan ki ba. Ta san jin nina gaya mata zai bata miki rai sosai. Wannan shi yasa ta gaya miki haka amma Jidda wallahi wallahi sunan ki ban taba furtawa a gaban taba da sunan ina bata labarin ki sai dai ko in muna magana da Mahmud ita kuma tana gurin sannan zata ji sunan ki a baki na"

"Kuma maganar wai na gaya mata  bana sonki, wai sha'awar ki nake ko something like that, Jidda ba ke ba duk wanda ya sanni tabbas in yaji maganar nan ba zai yadda ba saboda soyayya ta a gare ki ba boyayyiya bace ba. Tun da ta fadi haka ya kamata ki gane cewa ita babbar makaryaciya ce.  Maganar na aure ki dan na kasa samun ki a waje ai ke ya kamata ki bata kyakykyawar amsa a nan gurin tunda ke kece shaidata cewa ban taba neman ki a waje ba. Jidda ko hannu na ban taba kaiwa jikin ki ba har sai da kika zama tawa duk kuwa da cewa muna yawan kasancewa mu biyu, kuma ina yawan daukar ki a mota ta mu biyu, in da ina son wannan daga gare ki ke kin san da na samu, da nayi amfani da soyayyar da nasan kina yi min da kuma yarintar ki na samu abinda nake so na wuce gurin."

"Misali da ace na neme ki ne sai kika ki kika ce sai na aure ki, sannan sai na aure ki din, to tana fadar nace haka sai ki yarda"

"Kuma da ace bana sonki Jidda da babu yadda zan yi in bari ki samu cikin nan, amma Allah ne shaidata kuma ke ce shaidata ta irin yadda nake son wannan cikin. 

"Jidda bana neman mata. Kafin ki Umar bai taba sanin wata mace da sunan mace ba, bayan ki kuma Umar bashi da bukatar wata mace daban bayan ke saboda ya samu duk abinda yake nema a gurin mace a gurin ki" 

"Ke ce rayuwa ta Jidda. Ke kadai kin ishe ni rayuwa"

"Irin yadda nake nacinki kadai Jidda ya isa ace ya tabbatar miki da cewa bana neman mata" 

"Da ace zan iya dawo da jiya baya da na chanja dukkan abinda suka faru har matar nan ta bata miki rai haka. Da ace zan iya dawo da baya da na koma tun ranar da ta fara ganina na shirya mata rashin mutuncin da ko hanya ba zata yadda mu hada ba"

"Wannan shine gaskiyar magana Jidda. Idan kuma har yanzu baki yarda ba zan iya daukan ki a yanzu mu tafi shagon Mahmud din in nuna miki gurin kuma in hada ki dashi da sauran ma'aikatan gurin su tabbatar miki da cewa anan nayi bacci jiya da yamma. Kuma su tabbatar miki da cewa tana gurin a lokacin".

*wannan littafin na amana ne, idan baki siya ba dan Allah kar ki karanta, idan kuma kin siya dan Allah kar kiyi sharing, idan kika yi kin ci amana kuma ke da Allah*


*Yasmin*

Not Edited

Tun daya fara magana ban ce komai ba sai da naji yayi shiru sannan na zare hannuna daga cikin nasa na dora shi akan cikina sannan na rufe idona ina sauraren babyn da tun dana tashi banji ta motsa ba, maybe yunwa take ji ko kuma allurar baccin ce ba ta sake ta ba ita har yanzu.

Naji ya dora nasa hannun a saman nawa, akan cikin, sannan kuma sai ya saka yatsunsa a cikin nawa ya lankwashe su together sai ya sunkuya yayi kissing cikin. Na zare hannuna sannan na daga fuskar sa daga kan cikina na muskuta gefe, I needed space to think, to analyze things and I can't think with him looking at me, touching and kissing me like that.

"Zan ci abincin" nace, yayi saurin dauko cup din tea ya miko min "ungo, ki shanye wannan sai in karo miki wani" na karba na kurba sai nabata rai na mika masa nace "ya huce" ya karba ya kurba sai ya mike "bara in dafa miki wani" ya tashi ya fita da tea din a hannunsa. 

Nayi ajjiyar zuciya tare da jingina kaina a jikin gado. Anya kuwa akwai mijin da yake kula da matarsa kamar yadda Umar yake kula da ni? Ba za'a rasa ba amma they are very few. And that makes maganganun Zuwaira so painful. I mean idan miji dama baya baka kulawa da nuna soyayya ba zaka damu sosai idan yaci amanar ka ba kamar wanda yake mayar da dukkan bukatunka his first priority.

Nayi bitar maganganun sa sannan nayi bitar maganganun Zuwaira. Na kuma dora su a scale din truth na auna su. Gabakidaya sunyi contradicting juna. Sai na fahimci ina da options guda biyu. It is either in yarda da maganar sa shi mijina kuma mutumin da nake tsananin so, mutumin da alkhairan sa a gare ni basa misaltuwa in karyata Zuwaira ko kuma in yarda da Zuwaira, matar da ban sani ba ban taba gani ba sai sau daya kuma nake da yakinin bata nufi na da alkhairi in karyata mijina.

Sai kuma nayi realising ina da third option. Zata iya yiyuwa dukkanin su sun fada min some percentage na gaskiya sun cike da karya, third option dina shine in ware gaskiyar daga cikin karyar a kowacce magana.

Sai na fara warwarewa......

Farko na dauko zancen baya so na da Zuwaira ta ce ya gaya mata, a take nayi cancelling cewa karya take yi, a idon Umar kadai nake ganin soyayya ta bama sai ya furta min ba amma duk da haka kusan kullum sai ya furta din ko da kuwa a gaban Mama ne. 

Zancen ya aureni saboda yana sha'awa ta ma nayi cancelling mata shi, dan hujjojin da ya bani sun gamsar da ni kuma na tabbatar a jiyan ma da naji na yarda da ita bacin rai ne da kishi ya saka naji haka.

Zancen maganganu game da ni da Abba ma naji na maka mata wrong, anya Umar zai iya aikata min haka kuwa? Duk da son da nasan yana yi min. Nafi yarda da maganar shi ta cewa bincike tayi akan maganar ta ta cewa shi ya gaya mata

Sai zancen zaman da tayi a gidan sa. Kowane a cikin su da abinda ya fada game da hakan. Kuma version din kowanne zai iya zama gaskiya but the mere thought of Umar keeping a lady a gidan sa for his pleasure ya saka naji tamkar zuciyata zata tarwatse ta fado kan cinyata. Anya kuwa? The only way to find out the truth about that shine idan nayi bincike. Bincike kuma irin wannan yana nufin sanarwa da mutane abinda yake faruwa a gidan aure na. In ma kuma zanyi binciken ta ina zan fara? Abokan sa ko kuma kawayenta? A cikin su waye zai gaya min gaskiya? In da har abinda ta fada gaskiya ne abokan sa ba zasu fada min gaskiya ba dan zasu so su kare abokin su. 

Sai maganar abinda ya faru jiya. Ita tace min yana gidan ta akwance akan kirjinta shi kuma yace min yana reception din saloon din abokin sa inda ita kuma take a matsayin maaikaciya. Waye mai gaskiya a cikin su? Shin in shi offer dinsa ne in je gurin inyi tambaya? In ce me? In kuma na sameta a gurin fa? In nuna mata tayi nasarar da sa zargin mijina a zuciya ta?

Na girgiza kai. I won't give her that satisfaction saboda a analysis din da nayi naji zuciyata tafi yarda da maganganun Umar akan nata and I think any wife in my shoe abinda zata yi kenan. 

Sai dai wata tambaya data tsaya min a raina ita ce, idan da gaske babu wani abu a tsakanin tada Umar, idan dagaske budurwar Mahmud ce ba ta sa ba, idan da gaske babu wani abun daya taba shiga tsakanin su menene ribar da zata samu idan ta raba mu? Me yasa zata yi going this far wajen ganin ta raba mu? Tunda ko mun rabu ba auren ta zaiyi ba tunda babu komai a tsakanin su. Right?

Ya bude kofa ya shigo da wani tray din a hannunsa. Ya zauna a inda ya tashi sannan ya miko min cup din da yake kai "ga wannan to, da zafin sa" na karba sannan na kai bakina a hankali na kurba ina jin zafinsa yana kona bakina amma ko kadan zafin bai kai wanda nake ji a zuciya ta ba.

Yace "yayi miki? Ko akwai abinda za'a kara?" Na girgiza kai kawai. Sai ya dauko bread din da ya sako akan tray din ya fara shafa min jam a jiki. "Ki hada da bread zaifi rike miki ciki. Na san kwan ma cewa zaki yi ba zaki ci ba" ban ce komai ba na cigaba da shan tea dina. Sai da ya gama shafawa ya miko min na karba na gutsira amma sai naji zakin jam din ya koma daci a kan harshe na. 

Na ajiye na jingina kaina a jikin gado sai hawaye suka fara zarya a fuskata. Ya ajiye bread din hannunsa "Jidda! Oh my God. Wallahi da kin san yadda zuciyata take zafi in kina kukan nan da kin daina. Na fa yi miki bayanin, ya ci ace kin fahimce ni.  Zuciyata tana neman fashewa saboda takaicin taki zuciyar tana zarginta da irin wannan cin amanar. Kin san........." 

Na katse shi tare da saka idona cikin nasa nace "dacin zuciya? Zafin zuciya? Fashewar zuciya kake magana?" Na kamo hannun sa na dora akan kirjina nace "ina ma dai ana musayar zuciya Umar dana baka tawa ko ta second daya ne kaji halin da take ciki akan abinda take tunanin kayi mata" 

Ya marairaice kamar zaiyi kuka "na sani Jidda. Bazan iya kwatantawa ba wallahi dan idan nine maybe da yanzu ana jana'iza ta dan na tabbatar mutuwa zanyi, na tabbatar zuciyata bindiga zata yi. Amma kuma nasan da nine aka zo aka gaya min wannan maganar a kan ki Jidda wallahi ko Mama ce ta fada ba zan yarda ba ballantana wata stranger. Jidda ke mai yasa kika yarda har kika bari zuciyarki ta shiga wannan halin? Me yasa har yanzu kike shakku bayan kuma duk bayanin da nayi miki" 

Na dauke idona daga cikin nasa, gabakidaya ya gama karya min zuciya naji sauran spaces din daya rage na rashin yarda da banyi dashi ba yana cikewa. Ya jawo ni jikinsa ya rungume yana jijjiga ni kamar Baby. "Dan Allah kiyi shiru haka Jidda. Kina son bpn ki ya hau ne? Kin tsorata ni da yawa fa, jiya I tot bpn ki zai hau I tot zaki fara labor ne preterm. Shi yasa nayi miki allurar bacci I was scared to death" 

Na zagaye hannayena a wuyansa ina kara jawo shi jikina tare da saka fuskata a jikin wuyansa i a cigaba da kuka na. Sai ya saka hannunsa ya ciccibo bom bom dina ya dora ni akan cinyarsa gabaki daya tare da kankame ni tamkar zai hada ni ni da cikina ya saka a nasa cikin, "dan Allah ki daina kuma Baby, zuciya taba zata iya dauka ba musanman in na tuna saboda ni kike wannan kukan" 

Na dago kaina ina kallon sa da kumburarrun jajayen idanuwa na nace "labarin da ka bani gaskiya ne ko?" Ya gyada kai da sauri. Na hadiye wani abu nace "Umar kasan ina son ka ko? Kasan ina sonka sosai da sosai ko?" Ya sake gyada kai da sauri yana shafa gashin kaina. Na cigaba "in kaci amana ta Allah ba zai barka ba. In kuma kayi min karya ba zan taba yafe maka ba" 

Ya dora goshinsa akan nawa, hancinsa akan nawa yace "bazan iya ba ma Jidda. Believe me bazan iya ba. Dan Allah ki yarda dani"

Sai na mayar da fuskata cikin wuyan sa na cigaba da kuka na shi kuma ya cigaba da aikin lallashi har sai da nayi shiru sannan kuma ya matsa min nashanye tea din da ya hada min sannan naci two slices of bread din daya shafa min jam a jiki. 

Sai kuma na sake komawa na kwanta, jiki na ya dau zafi zazzaɓi yana neman rufe ni, ya bani magani nasha sannan ya lullube ni ina jin yana waya office din sa yana gaya musu yau ba zai fito ba Madam bata da lafiya, ina jin su suna tsokanar sa akan hakan amma bai fita din ba. 

Ranar kusan duk aikin gidan shi yayi. Sai da rana ne ya fita ya siyo mana abinci ya dawo nan ma ya matsa min na danci kadan, lokacin zazzabin ya sauka sai kuma ciwon kai da yake damuna. Na dauka zai gwada bp na ma amma yaki yace tsoron abinda zai gani yake yi. 

Sai da dare sannan ya bude min kofa muka fita yana rike da ni muka zagaya gidan na dan motsa jikina sannan nazo nayi wanka na kwanta. Sai dai har lokacin zuciyata tayi min wani irin nauyi kuma na kasa sakar masa fuska dan haka da yazo ya kwanta a kusa dani ma sai na juya masa baya, sai kuma ya hakura bai matsa min ba.

Kwanan mu uku Umar ko office baya zuwa, sai dai kullum ya kira su ya ce ayi covering for him yana da uzuri ne. Lallabawa kuwa da tarairayar na sha ta har na gode Allah dama kuma shi gwani ne ta wannan bangaren amma na wannan lokacin extra special ne. Sai ranar da muka kwana uku da daddare na same shi. 

"Ya kamata gobe kaje office, kar muje ka sami matsala fa" ya shafa kansa yana kallona "kina son inje?" Na dauke kai "aiki ai dole ne a gurin ka, tunda dole zamu ci abinci kuma kai zaka yi providing. Nima ina so inje school goben" 

Ya girgiza kansa "ki bari sai monday, dazu ma fa naji kamar akwai zazzabi a jikin ki" na daga kafada "shikenan, amma kai kaje office please" sai naga kamar ransa bai so hakan ba, he seemed hesitant amma kuma sai ya gyada kai "okay, zanje".

A daren muka shirya a gado, a lokacin na fahimci ba karamin hakuri yayi a kwana ukun nan ba dan yi yayi kamar zai haukace min tare da dogon sabon bayar da hakuri hadi da dogayen alkawarirrika na cewa ba zai sake yin sakem da wani ko wata zai kuma bata min rai har haka ba. Nima kuma nayi masa alkawarin bazan kuma wasu maganganu marasa tushe su kuma shiga tsakanin mu ba saboda da gaske nima nayi missing din mijina a kwanakin nan.

Haka muka raya daren dan ma katoton ciki na yana yi mana cikas, da safe ma kamar ba zai tashi ba wai shi ya fasa zuwa office din, sai da na matsa masa na kuma gaya masa in bai tafi ba to ni zan tafi school sai dai ya zabi daya, sannan ya tashi ya shirya shaf shaf na rako shi har bakin mota kuma kamar ba zai shiga ba sai ya shiga. 

Har na juya zan koma ciki sai ya sake fitowa, na juyo ina kallon sa, a raina ina tunanin abinda ya sa baya son fita din, sai ya marairaice yace min "babu inda zaki je in na tafi ko? I mean ba zaki je gidan ba ko?" Sai na fahimci fear dinsa, ya dauka har yanzu ina kan baka na na tafiya gidan mu shi yasa baya son tafiya, ya dauka so nake ya tafi dan in samu damar tafiya.

Nayi masa murmushi tare da girgiza kaina "I am not going anywhere" sai ya dawo da sauri yayi kissing din lips dina yace "thank you" and I saw his face relaxed.

Bayan na dawo ciki ne na zauna na fara wani tunani, ko da ace ina son zuwa gidan ma can I? Nasan Abba sosai na san policy din sa, yayye na ma da suka yi shekara da shekaru basu taba yin yaji ba sai ni daga yin shekara daya? Ai in naje duka na ne kadai ba zai yi ba shima dukan da albarkacin cikin jikina ne.

Sai kuma wani tunani yazo min. What if ace dukkan abinda Zuwaira ta gaya min gaskiya ne? Kuma ace Umar yayi admitting openly cewa yayi din. Kuma ace naje gida Abba ya koro ni yace in dawo gidan miji na. What would I do then? 

Nayi sauri na girgiza kaina a hankali nace "Allah kar ka kawo min wannan rana ya Rabbi" amma sai nayi tunanin maybe fa akwai wadda ta taba samun kanta a irin wannan situation din ko? Ko yaya tayi?

Kusan duk bayan awa daya sai Umar ya kira ni. "You know I love you right?" Nasan duk kamun kafar kar in tafi gida ne. Da wuri ya dawo ranar na tare shi tamkar yadda na saba yi kullum, shi kuma ya taho min da sabuwar waya yayi replacing wadda na fasa ranar nan, daga ranar muka saka wannan maganar behind us muka cigaba da acting as if nothing really happened. Sai ma wani sabon babin soyayya da muka bude. 

A haka har cikina ya shiga watan haihuwa. Yaya Mubaraka ya hada ni da ita muka je siyayyar kayan haihuwa tunda ni ban san abubuwan da ake bukata ba ita kuma ta san komai na kan haihuwa. Muna can ma ta kira Mama take gaya mata abinda muke yi, kafin mu gama Baba ya kira ta yace duk abinda aka siya shi zai biya. 

Umar yana jin haka ya saka muka yi ta lodar kaya tunda ba kudinsa ne zasu motsa ba. Yaya Mubaraka kuma ta taya ni muka zabi kayan fitar suna masu kyau da tsada har set uku, kayan Baby kuwa babu abinda bamu siya ba har da abinda ni kaina ban san amfanin sa ba sai dai in na karanta. Bamu iya gama siyayyar a rana daya ba sai da muka yi kwana uku a jere muna fita sannan muka kammala. Amma bata bar min kayan a hannuna ba sai ta ajiye min wadansu wadanda zan bukatar immediately idan na haihu sauran kuma ta tafi dasu gida tace sai na haihu za'a kawo su a matsayin kayan barka kamar yadda yake a al'adance. Nawa kayan kuma ta kaini gurin tailor dinta zaiyi min dinkuna a jikin su.

Kwana biyu bayan nan sai Umma ta kira ni a waya take yi min zancen zuwa gida in haihu a can kuma inyi wanka kafin in dawo gidana. "Ki tambaye shi, in ya amince sai Afia tazo ta dauko ki . Ni bana jin dadi in na tuna ke kadai ce a gida ga haihuwa ba'a san sanda zata zo da yadda zata zo ba" 

Nayi murmushi kawai na amsa mata da to, amma a raina nasan Umar ba zai taba yarda ba. Amma dai banyi kasa a guiwa ba sai na shigar masa da maganar lokacin da muke dinner. 

Ya yamutsa fuska "menene haka din?" Nace "au kai baka san ana zuwa gida in ciki ya tsufa ba. Chafdi. Ai kuwa tafiya zanyi" yace "kwana nawa zakiyi a can?" Nace "kwana? Wata nawa zaka ce dai. Kamar wata uku haka dan sai na haihu na yi arba'in yarinya tayi kwari sannan zan dawo" 

Ya fara girgiza kansa. "Ina, ina, kina so in mutu kenan" na daga hannu na nace "bani na fada ba. Umma ce ta fada" ya rike hannuna kamar zaiyi kuka "Jidda ba zan iya ba kin sani. Kiyi mata bayani yadda zata fahimta" na juya ido na. "Ni ba zanyi mata bayanin komai ba, sai dai kai kayi mata. Ai dama cewa tayi in tambaye ka in ka bari in tafi in kuma baka bari ba shikenan" ya sake marairaice wa "yanzu in nace ba zaki je ba zata ji babu dadi, ni kuma....ni kuma" 

Nayi murmushi, yana ta struggling da kansa yana so ya farantawa Umma kuma baya son rabuwa da ni. Sai naji dadin hakan da yayi dan nasan da wani mijin ne da direct kawai zai fada yace ba zanje ba. Ya cigaba da bayani. "Ki gaya mata ni doctor ne, kuma so nake in dauki annual leave da zarar cikin ya cika 38 weeks yadda zan zauna a gida in kula dake irin kulawar da ko a gidan ne ba lallai ki samu wadda ta fita ba. Ko haihuwar yazo a gida zan iya karba, ko tazo da wata matsala zan sani tun kafin matsalar ta zama matsala, dan Allah Baby kiyi mata bayani yadda zata fahimta sosai" na gyada kai ina murmushi "da gaske zakaiya karbar haihuwa ta? I want to see you in action" yayi dariya "zaki sha mamakin how smartly zan karba kuwa. Ni zan fara daukan babyn mu,a hannuna zata zo duniya" ya fada dreamly. And I instantly know mai raba shi da yarinyar nan in tazo duniya sai Allah.

Tare muka je gida dashi, ya ajiye ni tare da jaddada min in yi wa Umma bayani yadda ba zata ga rashin kyautawar sa ba. Sai ya tafi ya barni yace da dare zai dawo ya dauke ni. Ina shiga tun daga tsakar gida na jiyo Abba yana fada a falon Umma "ku mata wata irin karamar kwakwalwa ce daku kuma kuce lallai sai kun yi amfani da ita kun yanke hukunci. Ta yaya zaki ce zaki dauko yarinya daga gidan mijinta ki kawo ta nan ta zauna? Mai zata yi miki anan din in ta zauna?" 

Sallama ta ya saka suka juyo a tare, ya nuna ni da dan yatsa "koma inda kika fito. Kar ki sake ki karaso dakin nan" na tsaya a inda nake ban motsa ba, kawai naji hawaye ya taho min. Na farko gashi na shigo na tarar ana yiwa uwata fada duk yan gidan suna ji,na biyu kuma daga shigowa ta zai kora ni in koma. To shikenan ita mace dama bata da gidan iyaye sai gidan miji?

"Ba zaki wuce ki tafi ba?" Nace "Abba ya tafi fa, ajiye ni dama yayi ya tafi yace sai dare zai zo ya dauke ni mu koma" yace "au ho, na dauka zaman goyon cikin kika taho already. Allah ya rufa miki asiri da yanzu zaki juya ki koma" sai kuma ya fito ya bani guri na shiga shi kuma ya fice,sai daya fita sannan na tuna ko gaisheshi ban samu nayi ba" 

Na zauna a kusa da Umma ina share hawaye, har yanzu ban daina wannan saurin kukan nawa ba kuma bana jin zan daina. Ta kirkiro murmushi "kar kiyi kuka, tunda babanku bai bari ba shikenan kar ma kiyi wa Umar din maganar. Kiyi zamanki kawai Allah ya sauke ki lafiya" na gyada kai na, "ameen. Kuma yace ma zai dauki annual leave dan ya zauna dani a gida, kuma kinga likita ne shi sannan bangaren daya karanta kenan dan haka zan samu kulawa sosai daga gurinsa ko da kuwa haihuwar tazo da gaggawa ne zai iya karba ko da a gidan ne".

Ta gyada kai tana fahimta, naga alamar hankalin ta ya kwanta sosai, a raina sai naji tausayinta nace Allah sarki uwa, ita duk dan ni take yi tana nema min sauki ne. Mun danyi hira da ita, na bata labarin kayan da muka siya na haihuwa ita kuma ta bani labarin admittion din da mijin Aunty Afia ya samarwa Abbah a state university wudil. Nayi mamakin da Abbah bai gaya min ba duk da muna waya kusan kullum sai tace ai basu gama musu screening ba shi yasa yaki fadawa kowa.

Muna cikin hira Farhan ta shigo gidan, tana jin muryata ta shigo dakin a guje zata fado jikina Umma tayi saurin riketa "baki ganin yadda take? In kuma kina so kiyi muku asarar ɗa ne to bismillah" na zauna a gefe na tana dariya "chaf ai kuwa da yaya Doctor ya tsire ni a kasuwa. Wannan cikin yana tabuwa ne?" Nayi shiru ban bata amsa ba tunda Umma tana gurin. Sai ta jani muka tafi dakin mu inda yanzu ita kadai ce a ciki muka fara hira. 

Na lura duk ta rame, na tambayeta dalilin ramar ta tace "hmmm. Har ma zaki tambayi dalili Jidda? Kamar baki san yadda nake zaune a gidan nan ba? Yadda kika san akan kaya nake wallahi haka nake ji" nace "ke Farhan, gidan ku ne fa, in baki sake a nan ba a ina zaki sake?" Ta daga kafada "oho. Nima ban sani ba. Amma ni dai ba'a nuna min cewa anan ya kamata in sake, kullum zancen in fito da miji in fito da miji kamar akan mutane nake a zaune. Dazu ma fa sai da Abba yace wai gab yake da yin shela a masallaci akan wanda yake so na ya fito" 

Na bude baki zan yi kwakwazo sai naga ta fara hawaye, sai na kwantar da murya "ke da wasa yake yi miki, Abba ba zai taba yi miki haka ba. Kawai dai yana nufin ki mayarda hankalin ki wajen samun miji" ta harare ni "dama mijin samo shi ake yi? Gaya min inda ake samu inje in samo a can" 

Nayi ajjiyar zuciya "ba haka nake nufi ba sister, hausar ce banyi dai dai ba. Babu inda ake samun miji kina gida rabon ki zai tarar dake. Dan dai na yi aure da wuri ne shi yasa Abba ya saka miki ido, dan kuma dama can ya saba aurar da ƴaƴan sa da wuri. Dududu shekarar mu biyu fa da yan watanni da gama secondary school. Idan a wani gidan ne sai yanzu za'a barmu yin samari, idan a wani ne ma har yanzu bamu isa yin samarin ba" 

Sai na bata labarin gidan su Umar, Mufida har yau bana jin tana da wani saurayi. Ita kanta muhibbat sai last week naji ana maganar anzo neman aurenta bayan ta gama jami'a tayi service ta samu aiki sannan aka fiyo neman aurenta. Kuma ban taba jin wani yayi mata maganar ta dade bata yi aure ba. 

Muhsina kuwa anyi posting dinta service bayelsa, na dauka za'a nemi a dawo da ita kusa amma sai naji ana shirye shiryen tafiyar ta can din, da nayi complain sai Umar yace "idan mutum bai fita duniya ba ta yaya zaiyi yasan me duniya take ciki? Ki barta kawai ta tafi, experience ne ai"

Ina gama bawa Farhan labarin tace "chafdi. Wallahi Abba ko Kaduna ba zai barni inje ba in dai ba gidan miji na ne a can din ba" nayi dariya "to ko kadunan zamu kai ki ne?" Tace "kinga kuwa yaya Hudallah ta kawo min wani Alhaji dan kaduna" muka yi dariyar yaya Hudallah da alhazawan da take kawo wa Farhan.

Ranar wuni nayi sur a gida. Dan sai wajan karfe tara na dare sannan yazo ya dauka ta sai kuma a lokacin ya shigo ya gaishe da Umma da Hajiya. Na hau sama na yiwa Abba sallama sai yace in na sauko in ce wa Amira ta shirya mu tafi tare tunda tana hutu. Na sauko na gaya wa Umma mukayi ta mamakin halin Abba idan da yana so in tafi da Amira ai da sai ya fada tun wuri ta shirya ba wai sai da muka zo tafiya ba. 

Amma ko babu komai naji dadi dan zata taimak min sosai da ayyukan gida...

Bayan mun he gida ya fara tambayata yadda muka yi da Umma, wai taji haushi da bai barni ba? Sai na nuna masa kawai cewa bata ji haushi ba amma ban gaya masa already kafin inje Abba ya hana ba.

Ya karbi leave din kamar yadda ya fada, kuma ya kula dani kamar yadda yayi alkawari. Edd na saura one week na fara labor kuma ina fara wa ya gaya min cewa labor ne, haka muka yi ta yin kayan mu a gida tare har sai da yayi nisa sannan ya dauke ni da Amira rike da jakar kayan haihuwata muka tafi asibitin Dr Bashir. 

Muna zuwa kamar da gaske, ya saka kayan doctors ya saka aka kawo masa duk abubuwan da zai iya bukata aka bar mu daga ni sai shi a dakin, amma haihuwar tana zuwa sai ya rikice, yadda nake karkarwa shima haka yake yi, ya ma kasa gane ina ne saman allura ina ne kuma kasanta. Dole ya kira wata midwife a gurin ta taimaka masa. Sai dai babyn tana fitowa ya saka hannu ya karbe abarsa ya rungume tun kafin a yanke cibiya balle a goge jiki. 

"Welcome to the world Baby girl. You look just like your mother Yasmin"

*Wannan littafin na amana ne, idan baki siya ba kar ki karanta, idan kuma kin siya kar kiyi sharing, in kika yi kinci amana kuma ke da Allah*

*The Pictures*

Ya sunkuyo dai-dai fuskata ya nuna min babyn, "kin gan ta. Kamar ku daya ko? Ai dama na gaya miki" na dan juya na kalle ta kadan, sannan na mayar da idona na rufe. Sai dai hakan bai hana ni yin murmushi ba kadan duk kuwa da azabar da nake ciki. Fuskar yarinyar kadai ta goge min duk wahalar da nasha wajen kawo ta duniya and I was already deeply in love with her.

Yace da ni take kama, amma ni a dan kallon da nayi mata na few seconds sai naga da yan gidan su take kama dan ta fini fari sosai kuma dan siririn dogon hancin ta ma ba irin nawa bane ba. 

Midwife din ce ta yanke mata cibiya sannan ta nannadeta a cikin towel yake jijjiga ta duk da cewa ba kuka take yi ba, yayin da ni kuma midwife din take kokarin gyara ni. Sai naji tana gaya masa cewa na samu tear dan yarinyar ba karama bace ba. Sai ya mika mata yaririyar yace ta gyara ta, shi zai min dinki da kansa. 

Yayi kira masu allura suka yi min epidural, sai daya tabbatar ta zauna sannan yayi min dinki, taking his time har sai da ya gama sannan ya dago yana kallona yana murmushi yace "there you go. As good as new" na bata rai na harare shi sannan na juya kaina gefe ina cewa a raina da nasan haka haihuwar ta ke da ban bashi fuska ba ma ballantana yayi min ciki.

Sai yayi dariyar bata ran da yaga nayi sannan naga ya daura min drip, sannan ya gyara min kwanciya ta ya lullube ni, a take bacci ya dauke ni. 

Sanda na farka Aunty Afia na gani da auntyn su Umar suna zaune suna hira da new babyn a hannun Aunty. Ina farkawa  suka taso kusan a tare suna jera min sannu, sannan Aunty ta fita, jimawa kadan suka dawo tare da Umar, ya duba bp dina ya yi min yan tambayoyi sannan ya ce da aunty ta bani tea insha sannan in sha drugs din da ya kawo min. Sai kuma ya tsaya babu kunya ya dan shafa fuskar babyn sa sannan ya fita. 

Suka bani tea mai zafi na sha kamar yadda yace sannan suka bani magani shima na sha, sannan suka miko min babyn suka ce in gwada feeding dinta, na karbe ta da bismillah sannan na rungume ta a kirjina side din dama na, sai kuma na fito da abincin ta na goga mata a bakinta, ta dan motsa kadan amma bata karba ba, sai na saka yatsu na biyu na dan bude dan karamin bakin ta na saka mata a ciki, ta saka harshen ta kamar zata turo shi sai kuma ta kama ta ja da karfi.

Na dan zabura kadan saboda zafin da naji, amma sai ta bude ido tana kallona kuriiii kamar ta sanni, sai naji zafin duk ya tafi murmushi ya zo fuskata. Na saka dan yatsa na ina shafa cheeks din ta ina jin wata irin soyayya da ban taba jin irin ta ba, tabbas wannan ita ake kira soyayyar uwa da ya, wadda babu irin ta kaf duniya. Lokaci daya naji a raina cewa zan iya yin komai saboda wannan yar karamar halittar da take rungume a jikina.

An gyara ta tas an saka mata kayanta da na taho mata dasu, overall mai strips pink and white, sai white hula da pink tutoci guda biyu a saman ta. Na cire hular ina kallon cikakken gashin kanta wanda ya zo tun daga keyarta har kusan rabin goshinta, tsahonsa kuma da ace za'a kama da tsaf za'a kitsa shi. A raina nace yarinya dole kiyi dashi tunda kinyo gado side biyu.

Ni gani nake kamar babu abinda take sha, dan banji alamar wani abu yana fita daga jikina ba amma tunda ta kama din sai na barta tayi ta tsotsa. A haka har ta rufe idonta ta koma baccinta. Umar ya sake dawowa, ya tsaya yana kallon mu fuskarsa kamar gonar auduga. "Aunty kinga sha take yi. Wannan yarinyar da wayon ta aka haife ta. Aunty kinga yadda take sha kuwa?"

Naja dankwali na na rufe fuska ta ina jin kamar kasa ta tsage in shige ciki, Aunty ta harare shi "to shugaban marasa kunya, in baka ji kunya ta ai kaji ta in-law din ka ko?" Sai ya dan shafa keya kadan ya fita yana murmushi. Bai jima ba ya sake dawowa lokacin na cire ta da wayarsa a hannunsa ya dauke mu hoto, sai kuma ya shiga shima ya dauke mu tare. Sannan ya dauki babyn yayi musu tare kala kala.

Su Aunty da Aunty da suka saki baki suna kallon sa, tace "da fatan dai kayi mata huduba ko sai dauke dauken hoto ka iya?" Yace "nayi mata. Sunan ta Maryam" sunan Mama. Ya ajiye ta yana shafa fuskarta. "Yasmin za'a ke kiran ta dashi" 

Zuwan Umma, Hajiya da Farhan ne ya saka ya rabu da Yasmin ya mika musu ita sannan ya fita. Tun daga nan kuma dakin ya cika da hayaniya, ba'a jima ba sai ga su Mufida suma sun zo sun taho da abinci, a lokacin ne Mama ta kira ni itama daga Lagos ta duba ni sannan ta bawa Baba shima ya duba ni yana ta murna wai yayi amarya kuma ance masa tafi Mama da Aunty kyau.

Da yake haihuwar safe nayi, zuwa dare Umar da kansa ya rubuta min sallama muka taho gida gabaki daya. Bayan mun je gidan ne Abba yazo, the first time da Abba yazo gida na ya karbi Yasmin yayi mata addu'a ni ma ya duba ni sannan yace su Hajiya su zo su tafi, sai dai ya bar Farhan da Amira yace su kwana. 

Washegari kuma da sassafe sai gashi ya dawo da Hajiya har da kayanta wai zata zauna tayi min wankan jego, nayi mamakin hakan dan na dauka ko yace ta zo zata ce ba zata zo ba amma sai gashi ta zo din, Amira ta gyara mata guest room din mu ta kai mata kayan ta can, kuma sai naga kamar da gaske take gurin kula da ni din, ita take yi kin wanka duk da Umar ya hana yin na ganye amma ita zata gasa min jikina sosai sannan ta saka ni in shiga cikin wani ruwan zafin in gasa kasana. Ita kuma take yiwa Yasmin wanka sai biyu a rana ta shirya ta sannan ta taimaka wa Amira gurin girkin gidan duk da dai tunda na haihu su Mufida da muhibbat kullum sai su zo gidan, kwana ne kadai basa yi amma suma suna taimaka min sosai gurin karbar baki wadanda nake ta yi ta ko'ina. 

Ba ga yanuwan mu ba ba kuma ga na su Umar ba, daga ko'ina yan barka bullowa suke yi kuma kowa yazo sai ya kawo mana abin arziki. Ranar da muka kwana uku ne Mama Sa'a tazo min barka tare da yayanta gabakidaya, anan suka wuni sai dare suka tafi sai kuma ta bar Mammy anan wai zata taya Hajiya zama. 

Banji dadin zaman Mammy ba saboda rashin kunyar ta bana son ta bani kunya a gaban mutane amma kuma ba zan iya hanata zama ba musamman tunda naga tana son zaman, sai suka hadu da Amira suka zauna tare tunda kusan sa'anni ne. 

Na dauka zasu yi rigima tunda sun saba yi a gida amma sai naji shiru, naga Mammy ta sauko sosai tana ta yi min ladabi Aunty sama Aunty kasa har durkusa wa take in zata yi min magana. 

Kwana na biyar da haihuwa Mama da Baba suka zo daga Lagos, suna sauka nan suka zarto suka ga Yasmin. A ranar ne kuma aka kawo min kayan barka daga gidan su Umar. Abin mamaki sai naga kayan sun ci uban wadanda muka siya da yaya Mubaraka, wadannan an barsu matsayin barkan Baba, sai kuma akwati guda na Mama ita ma, kayan baby masu kyau da kuma atampopi da laces masu tsada nawa, bayan nan kuma sai na sauran dangi aunties dinsa da cousins dinsa na uwa da na uba kusan kowa ya aiko min dawani abu, sai aka hada gabakidaya aka kawo a tare sai dai kowa an rubuta sunan saa jikin kayan da ya bayar. Ni wadansu ma ban gane su sosai basai da akayi min bayani. 

Ni dai zance a cikin kwanakin haihuwa ta naga soyayya mai karfi daga Umar da kuma yan uwansa, tamkar ba'a taba haifa musu jika ba ko dan nashi na namiji ne? Ko kuma dan shi din shine mafi soyuwa a zukatan iyayen sa da yan'uwansa?

Umar bai taba yarda mun raba daki ba duk kuwa da idon Hajiya da ta kasa ta tsare tana comment akan komai ta gani. Duk motsin da nayi sai Umar ya tambaye ni mai nakeso? Menene yake min ciwo? Duk rigimar daren da Yasmin zata tashi tayi tare da shi muke yin ta, wani lokacin ma sai ya karbe ta yace in kwanta ina bukatar hutu shi kuma yayi ta jijjigata har sai tayi bacci sai dai in farka in ganshi kwance da ita a kirjinsa. 

Ranar suna tazo aka rada mata sunan da ya fada, Maryam. Akayi kuma taron suna sosai anan gidan a lokacin ne yan uwana da kawayena suka kara tabbatar wa har kuma suka furta da bakinsu cewa babu wadda ta kai ni dacen miji a cikin su, sunga yadda mijina yake ta nan nan da ni duk da taron sunan bai hana shi nuna min kulawa ba. Duk da ya fita waje saboda mutane amma motsi kadan sai ya kira ni a waya, mintuna kadan sai ya sake kira, kawayena har tsokana ta suke da sunji karar waya ta zasu ce ga "maƙale mata mannau" nan ya kira. 


But wadannan lokutan are the last peaceful days dana gani a gidan aurena......


Sati na uku da haihuwa Abba yazo da kansa ya dauki Hajiya, Umar ya hada mata goma sha tara ta arziki haka ma Mama musamman ta aiko mata da sako da taji ance zata tafi. Sai kuma nayi rashin sa'a lokacin yazo dai dai da komawar yan makaranta hutu dan haka Hajiya ta tafi tare da Amira da kuma Mammy, sai aka barni ni kadai kamar mayya. Na kama kuka Umar yana bani hakuri ina jinsa yana yi wa Mama yawa yana gaya mata ina kuka dan Hajiya ta tafi sai ta ce ya bani wayar, ta gaya min inyi hakuri zata samo min dattijuwar da zata cigaba da zama min har in karasa arba'in dina. Meanwhile Mufida zata ke zuwa muna wuni tare. 

Kwana biyu bayan nan Umar yazo min da maganar tafiyar da Baba zai tura shi Lagos zai aikamasa da wadansu kayan sa zuwa waje, saboda Baban baya jin dadi sosai yan kwanakin nan shi yasa ma yake zaune a kano. Naji babu dadi kamar zanyi wani kukan amma bana so in nuna masa rashin jin dadi na dan iyayensa suna kyautata min sosai bai kamata dan sun neme shi na dan lokaci in nuna bacin raina ba. Amma kuma zan iya cewa kafin wannan lokacin bamu taba kwana ba'a makwanci daya ba ni da Umar, dan ko  lokacin da muka samu sabani gado daya muke kwana kuma abin rufa daya. 

Sai bayan da ya tafi ne sannan na rungume Yasmin na sha kuka na na more, zuwa yamma sai ga Mufida har da kayan ta, Mama tace tazo take kwana anan kafin Umar ya dawo, naji dadin haka dan nasan zata rage min kadaici amma ba zata debe min kewar mijina ba duk da cewa har yanzu bani da tsarki dan haka ko da yananan babu abinda zai faru amma ko babu komai ai zanji dumin jikinsa shima kuma yaji nawa, ballantana Umar baya rasa yan dabaru available. 

Kwanan sa biyar a can, kwana biyar din da alokacin naji su tamkar shekara biyar dan sam bana wani samun Umar a waya baya fin sau daya muke waya dashi a rana, sai ya gaya min cewa tunda ya shiga garin network din wayarsa ya rikice sai yaje wani specific guri sannan yake samun network din kuma gashi yana ta busy baya samun zuwa gurin sosai. 

Ni dai duk hankalina bai kwanta ba sai ranar da suka kwana hudu da ya kira ni ya gaya min washegari zai taho. Shi kansa naji alamar dokin ganin mu a muryarsa. Babu shiri na tashi hankalin Mufida sai data rakani  saloon aka wanke min kaina aka gyara min kafata da hannaye na sannan akayi min jan lallen da yake so sosai. In wani yaga yadda nake doki zai dauka mijin nawa wata doguwar tafiya yayi ta tsahon shekara guda in anji kwana biyar ne kachal sai ayi ta min dariya. 

Da safe na kira shi, and for the first time na same shi a waya. Da alama network din ya gyaru kenan. Ya dauka ya gaya min gashi nan har ya tafi airport. Da farko nayi niyyar zanje har airport din anan in dauko abina amma sai yace min cewa daga gida Baba zai je ya dauko shi da kansa, bana son ya kasance na nuna rashin kunya, dan haka nayi zamana a gida na jira shi a nan. 

Muka yi kwalliyar mu ni da Yasmin. Muka kuma gyara gida ni da Mufida sannan muka yi masa girki muka aje masa, sai Mufida ta shirya ta fita school ta bar mu mu biyu muna zaman jiran mai gida. 

A lokacin ne sako ya shigo wayata......

Sako daga matar da kullum zuciyata take cigaba da kokarin mantawa amma kwakwalwa ta tana ajiye da memory dinta a wani reserved space wanda a yau ta bankado ta fito.

Sako daga Zuwaira.....

Wayar tana hannuna naga notification from messenger, sai nag sunanta, Zuwaira Abdulkadir (Zuzu). Naji gaba na yayi wani irin faduwa, yawun bakina ya kafe kaf, kaina ya sara, na fara karanta innalillahi wa inna ilaihir rajiun, me wannan matar kuma take nema daga gare ni a yau ni Maijidda? Me yasa tun ranar nan banyi blocking dinta bane ba wai? Sai na shiga, da niyyar kar ma in karanta duk abinda ta rubuto min ballantana har raina ya baci da karerayin ta, na shiga da niyyar in yi blocking dinta kawai in fito. 

Sai dai......

Pictures na gani guda uku da rubutu guda daya. Zuciyata ta sake warning dina akan kar in bude hoton amma ita kanta zuciyar tawa tasan ta makaro dan kuwa curiosity ba zai taba bari na in goge hotunan ba tare da na gani ba dan haka na bude din. 

Na farko yana budewa naji kaina yayi wani irin sarawar da sai da na rike shi da hannu biyu na ajiye wayar. Wani duhu ne yayi replacing hoton a ido na. Ban san tsahon lokacin dana dauka rike da kaina ba  ban kuma san tunanin me nake yi a lokacin ba dan ƙwaƙwalwa ta went totally blank kamar babu komai a cikinta, sannan kuma tunanin ya dawo min, tunanin hoton ne ya fara zuwa kwakwalwa ta, so nake in sake gani, so nake in tabbatar shi din ne a ciki, so nake in tabbatar ba idanuna ne suka yi min gizo ba, so nake in tabbatar ba mafarki ne nayi ba, mugun mafarki. Kuma a raina, with all my heart ina fatan mafarkin ne.

Umar ne a tsaye a wani guri that looks to me like a beach. Gajeren wando ne kawai a jikinsa, a gabansa Zuwaira ce, jikinta sanye da wata siririyar shimi da bata yi kokarin komai ba wajen boye surar jikinta dan za'a iya cewa da ita da babu duk daya, musamman da yake a jike take da ruwa. Ya zagaye hannunsa ta saman cikinta, ya dora fuskar sa a wuyanta suka kyalkyala dariya tare......

Na jima ina kallon hoton ina fatan inga kammannin sa sun chanja sun koma na wani, ko Mahmud ko wani dai, ko m wanene amma ba Umar dina ba amma babu abinda ya faru sai ma kamannin nasa da suke kara fitowa har ma yan kara yi min kama da jaririyar yarsa da take kwance a kusa dani cikin kyalliyar tarar babanta. 

Hannuna ya sauka akan hoto na biyu.......

A wani daki ne da yafi yi min kama da  dakin hotel. Ta madubi aka dauki hoton kuma ita zuwairan ce ta dauka. Tana kwance akan gado sanye da pant da bra only, shima yana kwance akan gadon, hoton bai nuna min dukkan jikinsa ba amma samansa babu komai, ya dora kansa a cikinta hannunsa a saman kirjinta, idonsa a lumshe, fuskarsa dauke da kyakykyawan murmushin da yake nuna irin tsananin farin cikin da yake ciki. 

Na jima ina kallon fuskar tasa. Har kara zooming nayi na kare masa kallo, yana yinsa kadai ya nuna min irin yadda yake cikin jin dadin yanayin da suke ciki. 

Sai na uku. A cikin jirgi suke, yana ta kokarin bata wani abu a baki ita kuma tana dariya, hoton yayi rawa kuma daga gani shima ita ta dauka amma shi bai san ta dauka din ba. 

Sai kuma sakon text din ta. 

"I hope kinyi enjoying kwanakin nan kamar yadda mu mukayi enjoying sosai. I hope kuma wannan ya tabbatar miki da cewa ko ma me ya gaya miki kwanaki karya yake yi. I hope yanzu kin fahimci cewa Faruq is mine, ni kadai"

Na ajiye wayar a gefe na ban bata amsar komai ba, to menene zance mata ma? Cewa ni din shashasha ce sakarai wadda Umar ya mayar makikiya yake kuma raina mata hankali? Ko kuma admitting zanyi in gaya mata cewa na kasa rike mijina na barwa karuwa shi? Amma da gaske na kasa din? A ina na kasa? A ina na gaza? Menene aibu na? Wanne gurbi ne ban cike ba? Wanne laifi nayi? Wanne laifi na yiwa Umar da har ya zabe ni a cikin mata ya kuma saka ni a cikin wannan ukubar?

A lokacin naji shigowar mota gidan, naji an bude an fito sannan naji muryar sa yana rafka min kira " My Baby. Baby Dove!" Ban motsa daga inda nake ba sai jin maganar sa nake yi tamkar sukar kibiya a cikin zuciyata. Wato plan din sa kenan yaje ya gama sheke ayarsa sannan ya dawo ni kuma in jawo shi jikina in rungume, alhalin karuwar sa tana can tana min kallon sakarai.

Tamkar Yasmin taji maganar babanta sai ta challara kuka, ban ko kalli inda take ba idona kasa kawai yake kalla numfashi na yana fita da sauri sauri. 

Ya budo kofar falon da karfi ya shigo, muryar sa cike da doki yace "Baby where are you. Am home" na daga ido na ina kallon sa, ina tuno fuskarsa akan cikin Zuwaira. Wasu hawaye masu zafin da bansan sanda suka fito daga idona ba suka zubo akan cinyata. Ya tsaya yana kallona sannan kuma nan da nan yana yinsa ya juya ya rikide zuwa tashin hankali. 

"Jidda?" Ya ambata da rawar baki "lafiya? Mutuwa akayi" 

Na mike tsaye sannan calmly na goge hawayen idona da bayan hannuna. "Mutuwa akayi Umar" na fada da sanyin murya and I can swear I saw him relaxed. Ya karaso kusa da ni fuskar sa cike da concern "innalillahi wa inna ilaihir rajiun, waye ya mutu Jidda?" 

Na saka ido na cikin nasa, sai naga kamar ba Umar dina bane ba, kamar ba Umar din dana sani kuma nake tsananin so bane ba, kamar wani abu ya chanja amma ba a jikinsa ba a zuciyata. Nace "abu uku ne suka mutu Umar. Son da nake maka. Yarda da nayi da kai. Da kuma mutuncika da nake gani"

Calmness din da nayi magana dashi ne ya sa sai da yayi blinking idonsa ya girgiza kansa sannan yace "what?" 

Na tabbatar ya dauka mafarki yake yi ko kuma kunnuwan sa ne suka samu matsala. Kukan da Yasmin take yi ne ya saka yayi kokarin daukan ta, nayi sauri na riga shi dauka ina ja baya da ita a hannuna nace "kar ka taba min ya, kar ka shafa mata dattin da yake jikin ka" 

Ya bude idonsa "Jidda? Me kike fada ne haka, ni Umar kike gaya wa haka? Me nayi miki? Me kuma aka ce nayi this time around?" Na girgiza kaina "ba gaya min akayi ba this time around, saboda wancan karon an gaya min ka shirya karya kaima ka gaya min ni kuma da yake sakarai ce kuma idona ya rufe da soyayyar ka sai na karbi karyar ka na ajiye gaskiyar. Wannan karon nuna min akayi, dan hausawa sunce gani ya kori ji" 

"Ni fa bansan me kike magana akai ba Jidda. Ki bani Yasmin kinga kuka take yi. Sai mu zauna muyi magana kiyi min bayanin abinda kike fada sai in fahimtar dake abinda baki fahimta ba" 

Na sake girgiza kaina. "Lokutan zaunawa in saurare ka sun wuce Umar. Dan a yanzu kaf duniya idan da akwai wanda in yayi magana ba zan yarda da shi ba ko da kuwa zaiyi rantsuwa cikin tsarbi ne to kaine. Ba zan kum yarda da duk wata kalmar data fito daga bakin ka ba ballantana in fahimci abinda kake so in fahimta ba. I am done being your fool" 

Ya kuma kawo hannu zai karbi Yasmin da take cigaba da kukan ta ni kuma bani da niyyar rarrashin ta, na lura da yadda hannunsa yake rawa kamar ana karkada shi, na tabbatar yasan in da magana ta ta dosa kuma na kara tabbatarwa ya aikata din. 

"Jidda, dan girman Allah ki bani ita" ya fada muryar sa kamar zai yi kuka. Na saka hannu na fara dan dukan bayan ta kadan cikin sigar lallashi, ta dan yi shiru, sai yace "ki gaya min inda maganar ki ta dosa Jidda dan Allah. Duk kin tayar min da hankali na wallahi" na dago ina kallon sa. "Ka san inda magana ta ta dosa ai Umar. Kawai dai kana son in gaya maka ya akayi na sani, shima kuma ina jin ka riga kasan ta yadda zan sani din" 

Ya daga hannu koma dai menene aka gaya miki ki gaya min and I am sure I can explain, zaki fahimci cewa misunderstanding ne...." Nace "Kamar yadda kayi min wancan bayanin? Ka tuna abinda nace maka a lokacin? Ka tuna nace maka idan karya kake min bazan taba yafe maka ba? To yau na tabbatar da cewa karyar ce ka shirga min kuma Umar ba zan taba yafe maka ba, har abada, ba zan taba yafe cin amanar ka gare ni ba, ba zan taba yafe yadda ka yaudare ni ka tozarta ni a idon duniya ba, ba zan taba yake......" Sai kuka ya kwace min, na kasa cigaba da maganar. Ya karaso ya karbi Yasmin a hannu na ya kwantar da ita akan kujera, idonsa ya kada yayi ja. 

"Jidda, banyi miki karya ba, duk abinda na gaya miki a lokacin haka ne yanzu ma kuma......" Nace "duk abinda ka gaya min a lokacin karya ne, duk abinda ta gaya min a lokacin gaskiya ne. Har maganar cewa baka sona gaskiya ne. Har maganganun da ka gaya mata akaina da Abba gaskiya ne ka fada din" ya bude ido "Jidda kar ki ce haka, kar ki tayar da maganar da muka riga muka wuce ta dan Allah. Ta yaya ma za'a yi ki ce bana son ko..." 

Nace "bani na fada ba Umar kai ka fada" ya yi saurin cewa "a ina? Yaushe?" Na dauko waya ta hannuna yana rawa na bude hoton sa a kwance akan ruwan cikin mace na nuna masa "fuskarka ce ta gaya min amsars dina"

Ya kalli hoton, sannan ya kalle ni sannan ya kuma kallon hoton. Sai ya fara ja da baya yana girgiza kai. Na tura hoton na nuna masa dayan sannan dayan na jirgin dana tabbatar an dauke shi ne few hours da suka wuce dan har kayan jikinsa sune a hoton, har yanzu tafiya yake da baya yana girgiza kai ni kuma ina binsa ina cigaba da nuna masa 

"Ko zaka iya yi min bayanin cewa ba kai bane ba a hoton nan, ko Mahmud ne? Ko kuma fuskar ka da jikin ka aka saka a jikin wani, ko zaka ce tilasta maka tayi ka aikata hakan ko kuma zaka ce tsafi ne tayi maka?" Na juyo wayar ina kallon fuskar sa nace "da wannan murmushin a fuskar ka zaka iya gaya mata komai Umar, including magana ta data iyaye na" 

Ya fara girgiza kansa da sauri "wallahi bana sonta Jidda, wallahi ke nake so Jidda" sai na zauna a kujera na ajiye wayar a kusa dani nace "additional karya. Bara in gaya maka gaskiyar yadda maganar take. Kana son ta, sosai da sosai, son da ba zaka ma iya hada shi da wanda kake yi min ba tunda har zata iya zuwa har gidan nan ta fadi maganganu sannan ta sake aiko min da sako ta fada min maganganu ni da iyaye na amma still ka dauke ta a jirgi ku tafi yawon shakatawa. Abinda yasa ka aure ni ba ita ba shine, na farko kasan su Baba in dai suka yi bincike akanta ba zasu bari ka aure ta ba, na biyu kuma kana bukatar innocent well mannered girl din da zaka yi fooling son ranka, wadda kuma zata haifa maka yaya ta kuma basu tarbiyya. Wannan shine dalilin da yasa ka aure ni Umar, ba wai dan kana so na ba" 

Ya taho da sauri zuwa gaba na " You are wrong. Very wrong" na sake daukan wayar ina kallon hoton. "Fuskar ka ta nuna min I am right, very right" ya kawo hannu zai karbi wayar na yi sauri na dauke nace "wa? Wannan hoton har gaban Baba zai je wallahi sai dai in bani da rai. Yadda ka saka zuciyata a tsinken tsire ka gasa haka zan yi wa taka" 

Ya girgiza kansa da sauri tare da saka guiwowin sa a kasa "Jidda, we can solve this ni da ke, babu wani abin da zai gagare mu if we stick together, if you give me a chance to explain this zaki fahimci duk ma ba haka bane ba" 

Na mike na zagaye shi. "Sai dai kayi wa kanka explaining kai kadai, amma ba tare dani ba. Am done listening to your lies" na shige corridor sannan na shiga dakina, sai na samu kaina da tsayawa a gaban mirror ina kallon kaina, ina kallon kyaliyar da nayi saboda shi, saboda wanda nake mutuwar so wanda shi kuma ko digo baya kaunata. Sai na dora goshina akan mirron na fara rusa kuka kamar raina zai fita, banji shigowar saba sai ji nayi ya dago ni yana kokarin saka ni a kirjinsa. Na tura shi baya da dukkan karfina sannan cikin buda murya nace "fita! Ka fita ka bani waye bana son ganinka. I hate you" 

Sai ya juya ya fita da sauri ya banko kofar, na ji ya shiga dakinsa sannan na ji shi yana watsi da kayan dakin. Na fito na tafi falo na tuna na bar Yasmin ita kadai, ina daukan ta ya fito daga dakin sa a fusace yazo ya wuce mu da key din mota a hannunsa. Naji ya tashi motar yaci taya sannan yabar gidan. 

Minti goma bayan fitarsa daga gidan nima na fita da karamar jaka a hannuna. Yadda Umar ya wulakanta ni a idon karuwarsa nima sai na wulakanta shi. Sai kowa ya san wanene shi. 


*Wannan littafin na amana ne, idan baki siya ba kar ki karanta, idan kuma kin siya kar kiyi sharing, in kika yi inci amana kuma ke d Allah*

*The Denial 3* 

Na saka Yasmin a car seat din ta da aka riga aka yi installing a seat din baya na motata, ta riga tayi bacci dan haka ban samu problem da ita ba sai na zagaya na shiga seat din driver na dauko handbag dina ina neman key, sai da na dauko shi sannan na lura da yadda hannayena suke karkarwa dan da kyar na iya saita key din na saka a ignition amma kuma sai na kasa kunna motar na dora kaina akwan wheel ina kuka mai tsuma zuciya.

Ban taba dauka rayuwa zata zo min a haka ba, ban taba dauka ni tawa kaddarar kenan ba, ban taba dauka ko da wasa cewa Umar zai iya cin amanata har haka ba. 

Yes, ban taba sakawa a raina cewa nawa ne ni kadai ba musanman yaddana lura da cewa yana da farin jinin yammata, kuma ina gaya wa zuciyata ina preferring din ta na kan cewa at any time zai iya haduwa da wadda ta kwanta masa kuma yaji yana son aurenta, ba zan so hakan ba tabbas amma in yazo da hakan na shirya karba kuma in taya shi kokari gurin ganin yaya adalci a tsakanin mu. But ban taba tunanin zaiyi zina ba.

Zina fa....   
Umar......
Umar dina wanda nake so kamar rai shine na gani a hoto kwance a kan ruwan cikin mace........
Macen ma kuma matar data iya bude baki ta gaggaya min maganganu.......

In na rufe idona babu abinda nake gani sai fuskokinsu da suke dauke da farin ciki da annashuwa. Hankalin su a kwance suna aikata zina, tamkar ba su san ma'anar ta ba ko kuma tamkar ba zasu mutu ba.

Gwara ma ita....
Ni ban damu da ita ba
Amma Umar, Umar da aure na a kanshi, yana da ni, yana da mace kamar ni, ni din da yake iƙrarin yana so, ni din da nake iyakacin kokari na wajen ganin nayi satisfying dukkan bukasunsa in bed and out of bed, ni din da yasan cewa I am pure dan shi ya bude ni a leda ta kuma shi kadai ne ya taba ko da taba ni ne, shi kadai, amma ya tsallake ni ya tafi gurin karuwa.

Me nene zai samu a gurinta wanda ni bani da shi?

Ko kusa bata kai ni kyau ba. Kyan jikin ma ni a hoton tsiraicin nata dana gani ban ga wani kyawu a jikin ta wanda zai iya sakawa wanda yake da ni ya kalle ta ba. Idan shekaru ne kuwa in jin in bata kamo Umar ba da  kadan ya girme ta, dan haka babu maganar yarinta. 

Na dago kaina ina kallon Yasmin ta mirror na tuna har yarinya na haifa masa ballantana yace ko bana haihuwa ne.

Me yasa yayi min haka......

Amsa daya na bawa kaina a lokacin ita ce saboda baya sona ita zuwairan ita yake so, ya aure ni ne saboda in haifa masa yaya in basu tarbiyya in kuma zama shield din da zaka kare martabar sa.

Na danyi murmushi. Yayi kuskure. Martabar sa tamkar kasa take yanzu a idona, kasar da zan tattaka da takalmi na in wuce in bar masa gidan sa. 

Amma in na tafi ina zanje?

Ko giyar wake na sha ba zanje gidan mu ba. Amm kuwa anya wannan bai isa dalilin zuwa gida ba? Anya sauran sisters dina da basu taba yaji ba sun taba haduwa da irin wannan matsalar kuwa? Anya bai kamata Abba ya dube ni ba in yaji abinda Umar yake aikatawa? 

Sai dai nasan ba lallai ne ya bani listening ear ba ballantana har yaji abinda Umar din yake yi.

Wani tunani yazo min kaina. Aunty Afia. In tafi gidan ta in zauna da ita in warware mata komai na abinda ya faru, ita zata san ta yadda zata doshi Abba da maganar har in samu ya saurare ni, na tabbatar in yaji abinda Umar yayi kuma yake kanyi shi da kansa zai karbo min takarda ta a hannun sa.

Na tayar da motar na fita, ina tuki a hankali dan nasan hankali na baya tare dani kar inje inyi accident ko ba dan ni ba ko dan Yasmin da bata da wani laifi acikin maganar nan. Ni ce mai laifi, ni ina jin ma nafi kowa laifi da na rufe idona tun sanda yaya Jamila ta zo min da magana irin wannan akan Umar ammana karyata ta saboda ina son shi, saboda ina tsananin son shi, saboda na yarda dashi kuma wannan shi yasa abinda na gani yayi min ciwo fiye da kima.

Babu wanda zai fahimci abinda nake ji a raina sai wadda ta samu kanta a irin halin da nake ciki. Duk kwatancen mutum ba zai iya kwatanta wa ba, duk hasashen mutum ba zai iya hasasowa ba......

Allah ya kai mu gidan Aunty Afia lafiya. Na shiga da mota ta ciki amma sai mai gadi yake gaya min sun fita gabaki dayan su tun safe "kamar biki suke yi a dangin Alhaji. Dan tace sai dare zasu dawo" na gyada kai, "babu komai. Zan jira su. Akwai spare key ai ko?"

Ya shiga dakin sa ya fito min da key ya bani, na dauki Yasmin da jakar kayan mu muka shiga ciki. Direct sama na hau na bude dakin Aira na shiga na rufe. Sannan na kwantar da Yasmin akan gado ni kuma na kwanta a gaban gadon na bude sabon babi na kuka. Tabbas da ace hawaye yana karewa da tabbas nawa ya kare a ranar. 

Ban san adadin lokacin da na dauka a hakan ba, na dai ji an kira sallar sai na tashi zaune na kaiwa Allah kuka na tare da gaya masa bukata ba. Ni bukata ta a lokacin kawai ita ce Allah yasa iyayena su fahimce ni su kuma goya min bayana sannan su raba ni da auren Umar duk kuwa da tsananin son da nake masa, babban burina a lokacin shine in rabu da aurensa ko da kuwa son sa zai zama ajalina, dan nafi kaunar mutuwa ta akan in sake ganinsa irin ganin da nayi masa a hoto shi da Zuwaira.

Bayan na idar ne wayata ta fara ringing da kidan Umar, naji wani kolulun bakin ciki ya tsaya min a makoshi, wato har yana da karfin halin da zai kira ni? To yace min me? Kiyi hakuri dan Allah ki dawo gida ba zan iya rayuwa ba sai dake? Ko kuma yace wallahi sharri take yi min bani bane a hoton wani ne mai kama da ni?

Na tabbatar yanzu ya dawo daga inda ya figi mota ya tafi wanda nake kyautata zaton gidan karuwar sa ne, karkarin ta yaje yace mata bata kyauta masa ba ta tona masa asiri, and they may have lover's fight and shikenan sai ya dawo ni kuma ya shirya min wata karyar.

Na bude jaka ta na dauko wayar ina kallon sunan sa "Umarul Faruq" sunan da da yake saka ni murmushi amma yanzu yake kara min kunan zuciya. Nayi cutting kiran dan wakar soyayya da na saka masa kara min bakin ciki take yi. Da sauri na shiga setting din wayar na  dubo yadda ake blocking number na danna masa block sannan na jefar da wayar akan gado. Na gama sauraren duk wasu karerayi na Umar insha Allah.

Na tabbatar na debi awanni sun kai biyar ko shida a dakin dan har duhun magrib ya fara shigowa sannan naga kiran yaya Tahir, sai jikina ya bani Umar ne ya kura shi yana nemana sai kawai naki daukan wayar ta sa shima dan in ya san inda nake zai iya dauko Umar din su taho gidan a yanzu, ni kuma alokacin babu abinda bana son gani irin fuskar Umar. 

Ya cigaba da kira sai kawai na saka wayar a silent dan kar ta tashi Yasmin wadda yanzu na samu na lallaba ta ta koma bacci. An jima kadan kuma sai ga kiran Aunty Afia ita ma, itama na barta sai da ta kira har sau uku sannan naji ba zan iya cigaba da ignoring calls din ta ba. Na dauka wayar na saka a kunnena da niyyar yin magana, sai a lokacin na lura ashe tsabar kukan da nayi har murya ta ta dashe bata fita sosai. 

"Kina ina?" Ta tambaye ni direct.

Daga jin yadda tayi magana nasan cewa maganar bari na gida yaje kunnenta. Sai naji hawaye na ya sake dawowa, na motsa baki na amma na kasa yi mata magana. 

"Kina ina nace?" Ta saka tambaya wannan karon cikin fada. And I can swear naji muryar Umar a kusa da ita yana tambayarta "ta dauka?" 

A hankali nace cikin dasashshiyar murya ta "Aunty dan Allah kar ki gaya masa inda nake" tace "wai kuka kikayi Jidda har muryar ki ta zama haka?" Ban ce komai ba sai wasu hawayen da na goge, ni da kaina ina jin yadda idanuna suka kumbura. 

Ta sake cewa "kina ina?" Yanzu a hankali tayi maganar da sigar lallashi. Nace "ina gidan ki. Amma dan Allah kar ki barshi yazo nan, wallahi ba na son ganin shi Aunty" tace "okay ki zauna gani nan zuwa, amma ki daina wannan kukan tun kafin ciwon ki ya tashi" naji yace "wanne ciwon? Bata da lafiya? Me ya same ta?" 

Maganganun sa naji sun kara min daci a zuciyata, he is so good at pretending ya kamata a bashi number yabo ta kasa a wannan bangaren.

Na katse wayar ba tare da naji amsar da aunty ta bashi ba. Sannan na kwanta na rufe ido na ina jin zuciyata tana bugawa da karfi. Allah yasa ba tare zasu taho ba, bana fatan sake ganin Umar har abada dan ganinsa shi zai cigaba da tunamin da hotunan sa.

Ina nan kwance naji tsayuwar mota. Na tashi da sauri na leka ta window naga motar gidan ce, Aunty da Afia suka fito, naji hankali na ya kwanta tunda ba tare suka taho ba, but then I was his car yayi packing dinta a waje, ya bude kofar ya fito sannan ya dago kai yana kallon gidan. Nayi sauri na saki labulen tun kafin in kalli fuskarsa. A raina nasan cikin biyu daya ne ya faru, ko dai hada baki suka yi da Aunty tace masa ina nan ko kuma bata gaya masa ba shine ya biyo bayanta bata sani ba.

Na ji su Aunty sun shigo sannan naji muryar ta tana kwalla min kira, na mike na fita daga dakin na tsaya a kan bene ina kallon ta amma ban amsa na, sai ta saki baki tana kallo na, da ga alama kamanni na sunyi mata kama dana wadda tayi sati tana jinya. Sai ma sauko da gudu na rungume ta na cigaba da kuka na ita kuma ta hau aikin lallashi. 

Ta jani muka zauna akan kujera tana ta lallashina sannan ta aika Aira ta dauko Yasmin. Bata jima ba ta sauko da Yasmin a hannun ta ta bawa Aunty sannan tace "Aunty kin ga Yaya Doctor ashe biyo mu yayi, gashi can na hango shi a bakin gate" Aunty ta dafe kanta "sai fa dana gaya masa ya tafi gida zan kira shi a waya in na ganta, amma ashe bai yarda dani ba kenan shine ya biyo baya na" 

Ta dauki wayarta sai na rike hannunta. "Aunty dan Allah. Dan Allah Aunty ki kore shi kar ki barshi ya shigo. Dan Allah kar ku mayar da ni gidan sa"

Sai naga yanayin ta duk ya chanja tausayi na ya bayyana a fuskar ta, ta kira waya sai ta kama fada 

"ya akayi ka biyo mu Doctor? Kai da muka yi da kai cewa zan kira ka in na ganta ba sai ka bari in kira ka din ba?"

"Eh na ganta gata nan muna tare" 

"Lafiyar ta kalau Yasmin ma haka, gata a hannuna"

Sai ta girgiza kai 

"Ba zaka samu ganinsu yanzu ba gaskiya. Ita da kanta take rokona tana hada ni da Allah akan kar in barka ka shigo gidan nan bata son ganin ka" 

Ta sake saurara sannan tace

"Bana jin zata saurari wani bayanin ka yanzu, ko na barkaka shigo ma bana jin zata tsaya ta ganka din, ni kuma ba zan takura mata ba"

"Ba yau ba gaskiya. Ka tafi gida kamar yadda na gaya maka. Idan ta huce zuwa jibi ko gata sai in tambaye ta tayi min bayanin abinda kayi mata, sannan sai a kira ka kaima aji naka bangaren, kafin lokacin duk kun huce. Sai a hada ku kuma a sasanta ku" 

Na girgiza kaina. "Ni ba zan koma gidan sa ba aunty" na fada yadda nasan zai iya jiyo ni ta cikin wayar. 

Ta kalle ni tana ce masa "ban san me kayi mata ba Doctor, amma koma menene ya bata mata rai sosai dan Jidda bata da zafi, tana da sanyin hali kamar yadda take da sanyin jiki. Allah dai ya kyauta kawai"

Sai ta katse wayar ta saka ta a jaka.

Na dauka zata saka ni a gaba da tambayoyi akan menene ya faru amma sai naga bata yi hakan ba, sai ta matsamin naci abinci. "Kina da danyen jego ba zaki zauna da yunwa ba, kin san Yasmin babu abinda take sha sai nono in baki ci abinci ba kuma ba zata samu ruwan nonon ba, dan haka ki daure ki ci ko dan saboda ita" 

Na karbi plate din da take miko min na fara loma, ina taunawa ina jin kamar an hada miyar da ganyen madaci amma haka naci, for Yasmin. Na ajiye plate din na karbi juice din da ta zuba min a cup shima na shanye na ajiye mata cup din, ta kira mai aikinta ta lokacin Baba Dije tace ta kwashe kayan ni kuma tace inje in kwanta in huta.

Sai naji zuciyata ta danyi sanyi kadan, naji cewa at least da akwai inda ake sona kuma maybe zan iya samun nasara akan Umar, but sai dai ban iya yin baccin ba dan ina jin wannan ce rana ta farko a rayuwa ta dana taba kwana sir ido biyu ba tare dana rintsa ba. 

Babu abinda nake yi sai saka da warwara akan abinda ya faru, da kuma akan abinda zai faru, ina ta tunanin ta yadda zan fara yi wa mutane bayanin abinda Umar ya aikata, can I really do it? Can my love for him let me do it? Sai kuma in tuna da hoton sa da Zuwaira sai inji ko gidan radiyo ne zan iya zuwa in yi sanarwa.

Da safe da kyar na tashi, ni kaina na san na fita daga hayyacina dan dana kalli mirror sai naga ma kamar bani ba ce ba, idanuwana duk sun jeme sun fada ciki, bakina ya bushe yayi kamar ma mai azumi. 

Har daki Aunty ta aiko min da breakfast sannan ta dauki Yasmin ta tafi da ita dakinta tayi mata wanka ta shirya ta ta bawa Baba Dije ta goya ta sannan ta taho dakin da nake. Ta same ni nayi wanka ina shiryawa sai ta zauna a bakin gado tana jira na and I knew tazo jin dalili na na barin gidan mijina ne. But zan iya gaya mata kuwa? 

Amma ai Aunty ce, kanwar mahaifiya ta ce uwa daya uba daya ina jin ita zan iya kira da second mother, kuma ina ganin a gurinta ne zan samu shawarar yadda zan tunkari wannan lamarin. Dan haka na zauna na bata labari tun daga A har Z. Tun daga zuwan Zuwaira gidan mu har hotunan data turo min. 

Hankalin Aunty ya tashi, fiye da yadda nayi tunanin zai tashi, ta rinƙa jera salati "innalillahi wa inna ilaihir rajiun. Jidda kin tabbatar abinda kike gaya min gaskiya ne?" Na gyada kai da sauri, "wallahi Aunty, abinda ya faru kenan" sai kuma na fara kuka "Aunty ni ba zan iya cigaba da zama da Umar ba, not after what he did. Dan Allah ki taimaka min ki fada min yadda zanyi Abba ya fahimce ni ya raba auren nan" 

Sai ta dafa kafada ta tana girgiza kanta "kar ki ce mu raba auren ki da Umar Jidda, Umar mutumin kirki ne kuma yana tsananin son ki duk munsan da wannan, in kince zaki rabu da Umar kika san wanda kuma zaki aura nan gaba shi menene nasa aibun. Eh ba ina nufin laifin Umar karami bane ba da zamu ture shi gefe amma ina nufin naki bangaren muma ji yanzu, watakila akwai abinda ke kanki baki sani ba tunda kafin ki taho din bai yi miki bayanin komai ba. Ki bari, daddyn Aira yana gida zan gaya masa duk halin da ake ciki, zan saka ya kira shi tunda ni macece ba zan iya wannan maganar da shi ba sai yayi masa nasa bayanin shima sannan sai mu hada ku muga yadda za'a bullowa lamarin. Amma kar ki sake zancen rabuwa, rabuwa is not a solution and will never be a solution" 

Sai naji duk jikina yayi sanyi, murna ta ta koma ciki. "Aunty wallahi ba ki san halin Umar ba, in ya zauna ya kalallame ku wallahi zai iya juya maganar ma ace ni ce mai laifi" 

Ta girgiza kai "ba kina da evidence dinki a hannunki ba? Sakunan da yarinyar ta turo miki da hotunan, kina da facebook account dinta dan haka za'a iya tracing dinta asan ko wacece ita. Babu wani juya magana da zai iya yi zuwa kanki" nayi shiru dai kawai na bar maganar amma a raina nasan ta fadi haka ne dan bata san waye Umar ba, bata san irin yawan fuskokin da yake da su ba. Ban kuma san menene plan dinsa mai yake shiryawa ba amma nasan tabbas yana can yana shirya wani abu.

Na lumshe ido na ina hango shi a raina, he is definitely frustrated, ya kira waya ta yafi sau dari maybe, amma nasan tashin hankalin sa ba wai nawa bane ba, tashin hankalin sa shine yawan adadin mutanen da zan gaya wa ko kuma in nunawa mummunan hotonsa. And maybe ma ba'a gida ya kwana ba, maybe a gidan Zuwaira ya kwana dan ya huce takaicin sa ya sha giyar sa ta dubu tunda yana ganin babu abinda zan iya yi masa.

Auntyn ta gaya wa daddyn Aira, bana gurin sanda ta gaya masa amma nasan abinda na fada mata shi zata gaya masa tare da fatan cewa shi zaiyi solving problem din, kamar yadda ta fada min ba ma ta son Umma ta sam da maganar ballantana Abba. 

Ban san lokacin da ya nemi Umar suka yi magana ba. Ban kuma san a ina ne suka yi maganar ba sai da dare Aunty ta sake dawo wa ta same ni. 

"Daddyn Aira ya kira Umar sunyi magana akan matsalar ku" sai tayi shiru bata cigaba ba, na dago kai ina kallon ta, ina ganin yadda yanayin ta ya chanja sosai sannan tace "yace shi sam bai san da wannan maganar ba" 

Na dube ido "kinji ko? Kinji ko Aunty, na gaya miki da ma musawa zaiyi yace bai yi ba, wallahi kuma karya yake yi yayi din, wallahi karya yake yi Aunty" na fara kuka. Ta rike ni "kar ki tashi hankalin ki Jidda, in ma karya yake yi ai zamu tabbatar ko? Shi yace wai ita yarinyar tsohuwar budurwar sa ce tun kafin ku hadu, but sun dade da rabuwa kuma shi babu wani abu a zuciyarsa a game da ita ita kuma tana sonsa still and she sent him a message a wayarsa ke kuma kika gani shine kika tashi hankalin ki kika ce neman mata yake yi kika dauko hanya kika taho" 

Na dafe kaina, bayan yi min ciki, dadin baki da yaudara, har akan karya za'a iya bawa Umar number yabo ta kasa. 

Nace "Aunty wallahi karya yake yi" ta daga min hannu "ki daina cewa mijin ki yana karya, babu kyau yin hakan, idan ma ita yake yi ki bari gobe da safe daddyn Aira yace yazo zamu zauna tare da ku.

And I had another sleepless night. Yanxu ba wai abinda Umar ya aikata ne kadai ya hanani bacci ba har da ƙaryar da ya shirga. Shi gani yake yi bazan iya tona masa asiri ba ko menene? Zai sha mamaki kuwa.

Washegari ma kamar kullum da wuri Aunty ta tashe ni ta hada min ruwan wanka nayi sannan ta dauki Yasmin tayi mata wanka itama ta shirya ta, sai tace in sauka kasa muci abinci tare. Ina sauka na tarar da Aryan yana shirin fita school sai muka zauna yanata bani labarin makaranta and other stuffs da suka shafe shi wanda ni a lokacin ba wani fahimtar sa nake sosai ba dan hankali na yana wani gurin daban, haka muka ci abinci, nadan ci da yawa ranar saboda duk yunwa ta rarake min cikina kwana biyun nan. 

Bayan mun gama ne Daddy ya leko daga kofar data hada wannan falon da nasa falon yace muzo Umar yazo, naji takaici ya kama ni na zuwan da yayi da sassafe wai dan ya nuna cewa ya damu dani ya damu ayi maganar. Sai na mika wa Aira Yasmin nace ta bawa Baba Dije ita ta goya ta ni kuma na hau sama da dauko wayata dana kashe na saka a cikin jaka tun da nazo gidan na yafa mayafi na nabi bayan Aunty muka tafi can.

Ina bude kofar naji kamshin turaren sa, naga yayi sauri ya mike "Jidda" ban amsa ba kuma ban kalli fuskar sa ba na tafi can karshen kujerun falon na zauna a kasa. Sai naga shima ya zauna a kasa dagadan gefe na kadan su kuma su Aunty suka zauna akan kujeru.

Daddy ya fara magana, ya fara jawo mana doguwar nasiha akan hakkokin aure da sauran su, sannan ya nuna mana muhimmancin zama muyi sulhu a tsakanin mu ba tare da mun kawo gida ba, ina jin Umar yana ta amsawa "insha Allah Daddy. Wannan shine na farko kuma insha Allah na karshe" a lokacin babu abinda naje so irin in zabga wa Umar harara amma banyi ba, my time will come.

Sai Daddy ya juyo kaina yace "auntyn ki ta fada mana duk abinda kika ce akan mijinki, shi kuma amma dana same shi da maganar sai yace min ba haka take ba, sai tace kince kina da shaida ko? Na gyada kai da sauri. "Eh Daddy, ina da shaida, akwai sakonnin da ita karuwar da yake nema ta turo min, a ciki har da hotunan su tare" hawaye ya zubo min saboda tuno wada nayi da munin hotunan

Daddy ya juya kan Umar "Doctor kaji abinda tace, ka yarda da maganar ta? Yadda ba sai munga shaidar ta ba sai mu san ta yadda zamu bullowa al'amarin" ya girgiza kai "ni bansan abinda take magana akai ba Daddy. Abinda na sani shine yarinya ce da na nema a baya ta turo min Friday message, shine ita kuma ta dauki wayata ta gani kawai sai tayi fushi, ina fita kuma sai na dawo na tarar bata nan" 

Na daga kai da sauri na kalle shi, muka hada ido sai yayi saurin dauke kansa gefe. 

Duk da cewa raina a tsananin bace yake sai da na lura da wata irin rama da wani irin baki da fuskar sa tayi. Bakinsa yafi nawa bushewa. Kayan jikinsa a cukurkude dan ina kyautata zaton cewa da su ya kwana a jikinsa kuma daya tashi baiyi wanka ba ballantana ya chanja su. 

Amma ko kadan banji tausayin sa ba dan nafi jin tausayin kaina da kuma halin da nake ciki

Na juya ina kallon Daddy "wallahi Daddy karya...... wallahi Daddy ba haka bane ba, ba gaskiya yake fada ba" Daddy yace "kiyi shiru Jidda, kar ki sake magana sai na tambaye ki" na goge hawaye na ina jin daci a zuciyata sai daddyn yace "ina shaidar da kika ce kina da ita?" 

Na dauko wayata dana ajiye a gefe na, hannuna yana karkarwa ina tambayar kaina in abinda zanyi shine dai dai, da ace ya amsa laifinsa shikenan babu wanda zai ga hoton sa amma yanzu da yaki karbar laifinsa kuma har yake min sharri tabbas bani da option daya wuce in nuna wa su Daddy maganganun da kuma hoton.

Ina jin idonsa a kaina, har yanzu maybe yana tunanin zan rufa masa asiri ne in karbi laifin da ba nawa ba duk kuwa da irin abinda yayi min?am not that stupid.

Na kunna wayar, na barta ta gama kamawa sannan na shiga facebook inda anan ne sakonnin da kuma hotunan suke, sako daya ne ba'a facebook ta turo min shi ba wanda ta kira ni da suna Baby Dove, shi kuma na rasa shi tun a waccan wayar dana fasa.

Ina shiga facebook direct messenger na shiga ina neman sunanta dan ita ce last person data turo min message kafin in kashe wayata. 

Sai dai me?

Ko me irin sunanta ban gani ba. Na rude na fara nema hankali na a tashe amma babu, na danna abin searching na saka sunan ta "Zuwaira Abdulkadir Zuzu" amma sai aka ce min no result.

Na fita daga messenger din na yi searching dinta through out facebook amma babu ita sai masu suna irin nata, na daga kai ina kallon sa, shima ni yake kallo amma babu ko alamar tsoro a fuskarsa sai dai tarin damuwa. 

Na fara girgiza kaina. "Ya goge, wallahi Daddy ya goge, Aunty ya goge duk sakonnin kuma yayi blocking dinta daga wayata sannan yayi blocking dina daga wayarta" 

Ya gyara zamansa "ni? Ni yaushe na dauki wayarki? Ni yaushe na ganki ma ballantana har in dauki wayarki in goge sako?" 

Duk suka kalle ni da alamar tambaya nace "Aunty shine ya bude min facebook din dama, shi ya saka min password ni ba ma zan iya tuna mai ya saka as password din ba, ta wayarsa ya bude facebook dina ya shiga ya goge kuma ya fita" na zauna dabas a kasa "innalillahi wa inna ilaihir rajiun. Wallahi Umar kaji tsoron Allah. Idan su basu gani ba ai Allah ya gani kuma ba zaka taba gogewa a cikin littafin ka ba. Akwai ranar da za'a saka aiyukan ka kamar a TV a gaban kowa ya ga gani, iyaye yanuwa, yaya da surikai. Anan ne za'a ga hotunan daka goge daga wayata"

Daddy yace "Jidda kinsan girman accusations din da kike wa mijinki kuwa? Mun ce ki kawo shaida kuma baki kawo ba sannan kina gaggaya masa magana a gaban mu. Wannan itace tarbiyyar da muke tunanin mun baki?" Na gado kai. "Daddy bani da sauran shaida sai Allah, ya goge wadda nake da ita. Kuyi min duk hukuncin da zaku yi min akan abinda yace nayi, shi kuma Allah zaiyi masa nasa hukuncin akan abinda ni da shi muka san yayi" 

Aunty ta sauko ta jawo ni jikinta tana jijjiga ni "tunda babu shaida Jidda babu abinda zamuyi miki saidai mu baki hakuri, mu baku hakuri gaba ki dayan ku dan bamu san wanda yake da gaskiya a cikin ku ba" na da kalle ta sai na ce "akwai wata shaidar Aunty, na tuno akwai wata shaidar" na kalli Umar naga tashin hankalin da naso gani dazu ya bayyana yanzu a fuskar sa. 

Aunty tace "mecece shaidar" still ina kallon sa nace "yaya Jamila, yaya Jamilar gwoggo Habibah" yace "what?" Nace "yes, ta gaya min abinda ya faru tsakanin ku lokacin ana saura kwana biyu daurin auren mu. Na karyata ta saboda na bari son ka yayi min yawa, na yarda da maganar ka cewa so take ta raba mu, amma yanzu na yardada abinda tace, tace ka neme ta ita maa bisa alkawarin zaka aure ta" 

"Jidda!" Abba ya fada cikin tsawa, na juyo ina kallon sa nace "in baku yarda ba ku kira ta ku tambayeta" sai na mayar da kallona kan Umar sai naga yayi relaxing. "Yes, a kira ta. Ni kuma yarinyar nn tunda tayi min wannan sharrin sai munyi sharia da ita" 

Aunty ta fara jujjuya kanta "ni ba xan iya kiran Jamila inyi mata wannan tambayar ba. Kuma ko da gaskiya ne ai ba zata fada ba"

Na mayar da kaina kansa, muka hada ido, of cause bazata fada ba, not to Aunty Afia da take like family, inta fada ba wai Umar kadai ta tona wa asiri ba har da ita kanta, in the society da muke ciki ma ita din ita ce a ruwa ba shi ba.

Wannan shi yasa Umar yayi relaxing dan yasan ba zata fada ba. 

Na sunkuyar da kaina kasa na dauko waya ta na lalubi number din Yaya Tahir na tura masa sako "please help me". Sannan na ajiye wayar.

Daddy ya fara fada, wanda duk kusan fadan akaina ne akan wai nadauki wayar Umar na karanta sakon budurwar sa sannan kuma nayi yaji akan hakan. 

"Mata hudu aka halasta masa ya aura, kuma ba zai aure su ba sai sun fara fahimtar juna tukunna"

Umar yace "ni Daddy na gaya mata ma babu wani zancen aure a tsakanin mu. Amma taki yarda"
 
A nan ban iya hakuri ba sai da na dago kai na banka wa Umar wata hararar da sai daya sauke nasa idon kasa.

Suka cigaba daga inda suka tsaya har suka gama ban kuma cewa komai ba, sai da suka kare sannan Daddy yace mu tashi mu tafi, in tashi in bi mijina mu koma gida. 

Muka tashi Umar ya fita ta kofar waje ni da Aunty muka yi cikin gida sai Daddy ya kira ni na dawo na durkusa a gaban sa sai yace 

"Kiyi hakuri Jidda, jikina ya bani kina da gaskiya amma bani da hujjar dazan kama mijinki da ita, kiyi hakuri ku tafin amma ki bani sunan yarinyar da kika ce yana nema din, zanyi bincike a kanta halayyar ta ita zata tabbatar min da abinda kika ce, daga nan kuma sai in dauki mataki"

Nayi mamakin cewa ya yarda din amma bai nun a gaban Umar ba ballantana yayi masa fada.

Nace "ni bansan komai a kanta ba sai sunan da take amfani da shi a facebook" ya dauko wayarsa "bani sunan in duba, na gaya masa ya saka ya duba ya nuna min profile picture din ta yace "wannan ce?" Na gyada kai. Yace shikenan kar ki damu. Zanyi bincike akai".

Na tashi na shiga ciki. Ina shiga Aunty ta kira Afia tace ta karbo Yasmin a hannun Baba Dije ta kuma dauko mana jakar kayan mu ta kai mana mota, ta hau ta sauko da jakar da kum Yasmin a hannun ta ta fita, jimawa kadan ta dawo amma babu Yasmin din, nasan shi ya karbe ta.

Aunty ta fara yi min nasiha

"Jidda, nasan kina da gaskiya amma babu yadda zanyi ne, kiyi hakuri, ki sani kowacce mace kika gani a gidan mijinta to hakuri yake zaune da ita, kadan daga cikin mata ne suke jin dadin auren su a wannan zamanin"
 
Na dago kai "yanzu Aunty kuna nufin duk kun yarda da abinda nace amma ba zakuyi komai a kai ba?" Tace "to me kike tunanin zamuyi akai Jidda? Muce ki dawo gaban mu ki zauna? Na yarda shi ya goge sakon cikin wayarki amma kin san dalilin da yasa ya goge?"

Nace "saboda ya kare kansa mi kuma ya dora min laifi" ta girgiza kai "saboda mu bashi ke ku tafi. In muka ga hoton ba zamu bashi ke ba, ko zamu bashi ba yanzu ba. Kin san saboda me yake son mu bashi ke din yanzu" nayi shiru amma amsar a raina ita ce saboda mu koma gida ya cigaba da kunsa min bakin ciki, ita kuma sai tace "saboda yana son ki, yana son cigaba da zama da ke" 

Na girgiza kaina "baya so na Aunty, da yana sona da ba zai ci min mutunci har haka ba" tace "idan akwai abinda nake da tabbas akansa Jidda shine son da Umar yake miki. Men are very funny akan harkar so." Na sake cewa "ita yake so Aunty, tunda har ya kasa rabuwa da ita duk kuwa da abinda tayi" tace "sai kuma ya kasa auren ta ya aure ki? Saboda me?" 

Na danyi shiru sannan nace "saboda ya lalata ta a waje, shi yasa ba zai aure ta ba" tayi murmushi "to saboda menene ya lalata ta a waje ke kuma bai lalata ki ba?" Nayi shiru ban ce komai ba. 

Tace "wannan shine banbancin, ke yana son ki ita kuma baya sonta sha'awar ta kawai yake yi, ta san da haka, wannan shine dalilin da yasa take jin haushin ki kuma take son taga ta raba ku. Kar ki bata wannan damar. Ki rike mijinki kiyita hakuri kina ta yi masa addu'a wata rana sai labari"

"Yanzu a zamanin nan kusan 80% na maza haka suke. Amma in kika yi hakuri duk abinsa zaiyi ya gama ne da kansa zai daina. Bara in baki wani labari wanda daga ni sai umman ki muka sani, nima kaina da kike gani na din nan I was once in your shoes amma yanzu fa? Komai ba ya wuce ba sai labari? Gashi ina cin ribar hakuri? Kema watarana haka zaki zama"

Nayi shiru ina tunanin abinda tace. Watarana sai labari? Yaushe kenan? Sanda Umar ya tsufa instruments dinsa suka daina functioning well sannan zai daina, meanwhile ni kuma ina zaune ina ta hakuri?

Na duba maganar da tace namata da yawa suna cikin irin problem dina suna hakuri, but why? Me yasa ba zamu hada kai muce "enough is enough ba?" 

In ance kusan kowa haka yake ai kamar ana kara musu kaimi ne, kamar ana nuna musu cewa wannan xinar da suke yi ita ce identity dinsu dan haka it is okay zasu iya cigaba. Wanda ma baya yi in yaga wani yana yi kuma babu abinda yake faruwa sai yayi joining club din shima.

Shigowar yaya Tahir ce ta katse min tunani na, na mike da sauri na rungume shi ina cigaba da kukan da na dakatar da.

"Me ya faru? Ya fada yana kallon Aunty, ta harare shi "ina ruwan ka? Wa ya kirawo ka? An riga an gama magana kuma ba za'a dawo da ita baya ba saboda kai" 

Ta nuna ni "wuce ku tafi" na cika shi sannan na goge hawaye na nadauki waya ta na fita ba tare da nayi masa sallama ba. Ina fita Umar yayi sauri ya fito daga mota da Yasmin a hannunsa ya bude min kofar gaba, na wuce shi na bude baya na zauna tare da rufe kofar da dukkan karfina, hopping glass din motar zai tarwatse at least nima in rama ta wani gurin. 

Yaya Tahir ya fito yana kallon mu, sai naga Umar yaje gurinsa ya mika masa hannu sun gaisa, sannan naga suna magana amma bana jin abinda sume cewa duk da dai na tabbatar karya kawai Umar yake shirya masa, maybe har da sharri yake kara yi min.

Sai naga sun taho tare, Tahir ya shiga seat din driver Umar kuma ya zauna a gaba, Tahir ya tayar da motar muka bar gidan ni kuma na hada kaina da kofa na cigaba daga inda na tsaya a abin da nagi iyawa fiye da komai, kuka.

Yaya Tahir ya kira sunana "Jiddo?" Na dago kai ina kallon sa ta mirror sai yace "ki daina kuka kinji. Allah yana kallon duk wanda ya zalunce ki kuma zai saka miki" sai ya kalli Umar yace "Doctor Umar Maijidda amana ce a hannunka, in kaci amanar ta Allah ba zai barka ba"

Bai ce komai ba kuma banyi tunanin zai ce komai din ba.

Sai naji shigowar message waya ta. Na dauka da sauri hoping ko wata shaidar na samu amma sai naga sako daga Umar

"Baby dan Allah ki daina wannan kukan. Ko kina so ne zuciyata ta buga in mutu a motar nan?" 

Na dago kai nace "yayana" Tahir ya amsa, nace "ya ake blocking number yadda ko message ba zai shigo ba? Nayi blocking wata number naga bata iya kira na amma gashi ana turo min message da ita" yace "ki yi installing true caller, in kika yi blocking ta can shikenan" nace "Nagode, yanzu kuwa."

*wannan littafin na amana ne, idan baki siya ba kar ki karanta idan kuma kin siya kar kiyi sharing, in kika yi kinci amana kuma ke da Allah*

*The Confession*

Shiru ne ya sake biyo baya a motar, a haka har muka har buk road sai yaya Tahir yayi packing yace anan zai sauka zai shiga school. Ya fito daga motar Umar ma ya fita bude inda nake ya miko min Yasmin, na karbe ta ba tare da na kalle shi ba sai ya rufe ya koma seat din driver. 

Yaya Tahir ya leko ta window yace min "Jiddo? Zamuyi waya kinji?" Na gyada masa kai sannan ya gangara mu kuma muka yi gaba. 

Babu wanda yayi magana sai Yasmin da take yan korafi irin na jarirai har muka je gida. Yana packing sai yai sauri ya bude min kofa ya miko hannu zai dauki Yasmin na janye ta na matsa na fita daga kofar da ba ita ya bude ba, ya rufe kofar sannan ya bude booth ya dauko mana jakar kayan mu sannan ya biyo bayana bakin kofa inda nake ta kokarin nemo key a cikin jakar hannuna, ya ajiye jakar hannun sa yace "kawo Yasmin din sai kiji dadin daukowa" nayi banza na bawa iska ajjiyar sa, ya sake miko min hannu sai na matsa na cigaba da abinda nake yi, sai ya koma mota da sauri sai gashi dawani key din ya dawo ya bude gidan sannan ya matsa yace min "bismillah" na ja dogon tsakin danasan da ace zare ne da sai ya kai bakin gate sannan na shiga. Ya biyo bayana da kayan mu a hannun sa. 

Falon kacha kacha kamar anyi yakin badar a ciki. Yace "am sorry for the mess, yanzu zan gyara miki gidan gabakidaya, kamar sabo zan mayar miki dashi. Kin san dai ai na fiki iya gyaran gida ma ko? Yanzun ma....." Banji karshen maganar ba na wuce shi na tafi dakina, ina shiga na rufe kofa na murda key sannan na kwantar da yarinya ta nima na kwanta. 

Hawayen ya tsaya yanzu a idona, amm zuciyata tankar garwashin wuta haka nake jin ta acikin kirjina. Wato Umar ya dauki wuka ya daba min a cikin zuciyata ta hanyar cheating on me, sannan kuma hakan bai ishe shi ba sai ya debi gishiri ya barbada a kan yankakkiyar zuciyar ta wa ta hanyar rufe laifinsa da kuma yi min sharri a gurin iyaye na.

Daya abin kuma daya kara rura wutar zuciyata shine yadda Aunty da Daddy suka tabbatar cewa Umar ne marar gaskiya amma suka kasa yi masa fada sai ni da suka san ni ce mai gaskiya ni kuma suka yi wa fada. Ni akayi wa laifi, babban laifi, sannan akayi min sharri, sannan kuma akayi min fada kuma aka bashi ni yadawo dani gidan sa.

Saboda me??????

Saboda shi namiji ne ni mace? Saboda an haife shi da jela a tsakanin kafafuwan sa ni kuma babu??? Wannan shine dalilin????

Kuma ma wai dan gidan Aunty nae ba gidan mu ba. Maybe da gidan mu naje da bayan fada Abba sai ya hada da duka.

It was a bitter experience but I learnt something, something din kuma shine ba zan sake fita daga gidan Umar da niyyar yaji ba, duk kuwa ranar da na fita to tabbas na gama aurensaa ranar ba zan sake dawowa ba har abada. Duk kuwa da tsananin son da nake masa.

Tunowa da soyayyar Umar da take kwance a cikin zuciyata shi ya taso min da bakin cikin abinda yayi, ya dawo min da hotunan pictures dinsa shi da zuwaira cikin zuciyata, hotunan da duk da ya goge su a waya ta ba zasu taba goguwaba daga cikin kaina ba for as long as akwai ƙwaƙwalwa a skull dina.

Na dauki Yasmin da ta fara rigima nayi feeding dinta ina kallon fuskarta, shin anya kuwa nayi mata zabin uba na gari? Anya kuwa? 

Bayan ta gama na kwantar da ita sannan nima na kwanta na jawo pillow kirjina na rungume ina jika shi da hawaye, ina hango rayuwar da take facing dina, ina hango challenges dina wadanda a lokacin ma ban san dukkan su ba dan babu wanda yasan abinda gobe zata kawo sai Allah.

Daga dakin nake jiyo shi yana ta butuntu a falo da kitchen, har da su karar blender najiyo daga kitchen din, zuwa jimawa kadan kuma naji kamshin turaren wuta. Ni dai ina nan a kwance ban tashi ba kuma bani da niyyar tashi in dai har yana gidan. Ni da shi mu zuba mu gani, dan halak ka fasa.

A haka bacci mai nauyi ya dauke ni, exhausted from my cries. Cikin baccin naji ana kwankwasa kofa, na yi mika tare da salati dan baccin mai nauyi ne nayi sannan na kalli agogo naga around 3pm. Nayi sauri na kalli Yasmin naga har yanzu bacci take yi dan su jarirai basa gajiya da bacci. 

Aka sake knocking. "Jidda, ki bude ga abinci ki ci" Na sake tsaki ma koma na kwanta ina rufe idona da kunne na, hoping zan daina jin muryar sa. "Jidda" ya sake kirana. "Nasan kina jina. Please don't punish yourself da yunwa, ni nayi laifi ni za'a yiwa dukkan hukunci ba ke ba. Ki fito ki ci abinci. Ni na dafa miki da kaina" 

Takaici ya kama ni na taso da sauri nazo bakin kofar na rike kugu "go away please. Ko ba zaka tafi bama please ka daina magana kana ambatar sunana, muryar ka tana saka ni jin amai" ya danyi shiru sannan yace "naji, zan tafi. Amma ina zanje?" 

Nayi tsaki "oho maka. Go and hang your self or something I don't care" yace "okay. Naji, you don't care. You are angry I know kuma you have absolute right to be angry. Ki ce min komai kiyi min komai but Please ki bude kici abinci"

Ban ce komai ba na koma na kwanta ina jin haushin kaina dana kula shi ma. Zuwa anjima kadan sai naji motsinsa ya same dawowa naji kamar ya ajiye wani abu a bakin kofa sannan yace "ga abinci, ki bude ki dauka" 

Nayi sauri na mike na sauka daga kan gadon sannan na bude kofar, yana tsaye bai bar gurin ba, a kasa ga tray nan da flasks guda biyu babba da karami da robar lemo data ruwa. 

Ya dan fara murmushi nervously yana jujjuya hannun sa "Jidda" na durkusa na bude abincin, taliya ce da miya, daga ganin miyar kasan ko gama dahuwa kayan miyan basuyi ba ballantana su fara soyuwa. Har da nama zuku zuku a ciki. 

Na daga kwanon taliyar na watsar a corridor din sannan na bishi dana miyar, miyar ta bata har jikin Umar da kuma jikin bango, sannan na bude lemon na daga shi na tuttular a kasa na kuma jefe shi da robar a fuskar sa, naja kofa ta na rufe.

And I was so happy with myself duk da dai banga irin bacin ran da nake fatan gani a fuskar sa ba. 

Naji ya fita sannan ya sake dawowa, daga alama gurin yake gyarawa. Na koma na kwanta, a lokacin ita kuma Yasmin ta farka ta fara tsanyara min kuka kamar zata shide, na gwada feeding dinta amma babu komai a nonon, na chanza mata diaper na sake mata kaya amma bata yi shiru ba. Time din lokacin around 5pm

Ya same dawowa. "Dan girman Allah Jidda ki bude kofar nan" nayi kamar ban ji shi ba sai kuma yace "Okay. Ba kya son ganina I get it, zan fita daga gidan in dai har zaki fito ki ci abinci. Kinji?" Nan ma shiru sai Yasmin da take ta kukan ta. 

Jima wa kadan naji fitar sa sannan naji ya tayar da mota duk da dai bana iya hango shi amma naji ya fita daga gate. Na bude kofa na fito da Yasmin a hannuna, ya gyara corridor din, sai jikin bangon daya baci da maiko, na fita falo na ganshi fes, har da jona incense burner ya saka turaren wuta a ciki kamar yadda ya ga inayi. 

Na wuce falon na shiga kitchen shima a gyare, sai tukwanen da aka jera su duk sun bushe da indomie sun ki fita. Na harare su na dauko wankakkiya na dora na dafa ruwan zafi na hada tea na koma falo na zauna na sha sannan na dan huta nayi feeding Yasmin sannan na goya ta na koma na dafa taliyana jajjaga attaruhu da albasa nayi sauce na zuba na dawo falo na ci sannan na juye sauran a flask na kai dakina, na dafa ruwan zafi shima na hada da kayan tea na kai dakina. Sannan na shiga na gyara dakin na wanke toilet na kwantar da Yasmin na rufe mana kofa na shiga wanka.

Sai bayan magrib naji dawowarsa. Straight nan ya taho ya gama babatunsa a kofar daki ya hakura ya tafi. Zuwa bayan ishai naga an kira ni da new number kuma jikina ya bani shine dan haka naki dauka. Ya cigaba da kira sai na saka wayar a flight mode na cigaba da game din da nake yi.

Zuwa jimawa ya sake dawowa. "At least ki bani Yasmin in dauke ta, kin san dai nima yata ce ko? Kin san inada hakki a kanta ko?" Na mike zaune. 

"Ka tafi gurin Zuwaira ta haifa maka wata yar sai ka dauke ta. Ni tawa yar babu datti a jikinta, kuma zan nesanta ta da daddaudan mutum irin ka" 

Daga nan bai kara cewa komai ba kuma bai kara yi min magana ba har nayi bacci. 

Da safe ya kara dawowa, ni kaina lokacin zaman dakin ya ishe ni ji nake kamar zanyi dan karamin hauka, ga Yasmin ta ishe ni da kuma. Yayi knocking yace "Jiddo kun tashi? Me kike so kiyi breakfast dashi in soya miki irish ko in hada miki sandwich. Na siyo bread din nan da kike so na Grand Square" 

Na juya ido na. Wannan mutumin me ya mayar da nine? Bayan wawiya ya kuma mayar da ni kwadayayyiya? Zuwa jimawa ya sake dawowa. "Zan fita to. Zan zauna a bakin gate ki fito ki ci abinci kiyi kallo ki mike kafar ki dan gidan ki ne kinji?" 

Na sake juya ido na, ni mamaki yake bani pretending as abinda yayi is a minor mistake wanda kawai zamuyi kiss and make up mu manta dashi. Tabbas zai sha mamaki na, Jiddan daya sani a da ba ita bace ba a yanzu, wannan ta waye, wannan ya wayarda ita. 

Sai bayan ya fita sannan na fito. Na dauko rocker din Yasmin na saka ta akai na bar ya a palo na tafi kitchen, akan dining table na ga an ajiye sandwich a ciki guda biyu a orange juice a gefe, a kasan plate din kuma ga takarda 

Baby Dove,

"Please ki ci wannan, For I made it with all my love" 

Umarul Faruq

Bansan me yasa ba kawai sai naji hawaye, na dauki takardar na gutsitstsira ta na barbada akan sandwich din sannan na juye lemon akai na barsu a bude, ma wuce kitchen na hada golden morn na dawo falo na zauna ina sha a raina ina tambayar kaina me yasa nake ta buya a daki? Shine yayi abin kunya shi ya kamata ya buya bani ba. 

Kamata yayi in fito fili in facing dinsa in nuna masa it really is over between us, in Allah yasa ya gani ya fahimta to in kuma bai fahimta ba sai in saka microphone in sake gaya masa.

Ina zaune sai gashi ya shigo, nayi masa kallo daya na dauke kaina. Ya chanza kayan jiya but still ynaa looking rough, ya zagaya da sauri ya dauki Yasmin da take baccin ta ya daga ta sama sannan yayi planting kisses all over her small face "God! I miss you so much my cutie pie" 

Ta fara mutsumutsun zata yi kuka sai yayi sauri ya ajiye ta ya fara jijjiga ta, "sorry sweetheart. Daddy ya tashe ki ko? I just wanted to kiss your little face that's all" 

Sai ya dawo ya zauna a kujerar datake kusa da wadda nake zaune, idonsa a kasa yana kallon hannun sa yace "naji dadi da kika fito kika zauna gar kika kunna kallo, ina fatan kuma anytime soon zaki yardamu zauna muyi magana" 

Na ja kafafuwana saman kujerar sannan nace "ubana ne ya sayi kujerun da kuma kayan kallon, da kudin fansho. Ohh sorry ashe fa ka sani tunda har ka iya bawa karuwa labari" 

Ya mike tsaye yana dafe kansa, fuskarsa tayi ja yace "wallahi wallahi ba gaya mata haka ba, you have no idea yadda raina yake baci in kika fadi maganar nan bayan ni nasan ban fada ba" na mike zaune "ohh really? Ashe da ciwo? Ashe sharri da ciwo? Add that to seeing me naked and lying on someone"

Ya taho taku biyu zuwa gaba na, for a second I thought dukana zaiyi sai kuma ya dunkule hannunsa ya rintse idonsa sannan ya juya da sauri ya bar falon ya shiga dakinsa. Na ja dogon tsakin da na tabbatar ya tarar da shi har dakin nasa sannan na koma na kwanta tare da karo volume din tvn da babana ya siya. 

Sai dai maimakon maganar da na gaya masa ta sa raina yayi sanyi sai naji kamar zafi na kara wa zuciyata.

Ina nan kwance har around 12, shi kuma yana daki bai fito ba sai jin sallama nayi, Umma da Farhan. Na tashi da sauri na tafi na rungume Umma ina jin kamar zanyi kuka amma na rike shi, Farhan ta tsaya daga gefe tana kallona sannan tace "tashin hankali. Kinga yadda kika rame kuwa? Skeleton!" 

Na shaga wuyana, realising wadansu manya manyan kasusuwa da suka yi min sarka. Umma ta zauna akan kujera tana cewa "ko dai tsoron tsotso ne da ke Jidda?" Na zauna a hannun kujerar da take kai nace "menene tsoron tsotso kuma?" Tace "wadansu in suka haihu sai suyi ta rama, shine hausawa suke cewa tsoron tsotso" na daga hannu "ni bana jin wani tsoro Umma" tayi dariya "ai ba tsoron ake ji ba, kawai dai hausar ce haka".

Farhan ta dauki Yasmin tana yi mata rawa "ka ga uwar ubanta, ƴar fara yar dan balarabe" Ummu ta harareta "in kuma yana gidan kuma fa, ke surutu ne da ke" 

Nayi murmushi kawai na gaishe da Umma, tace "yayan ki ne jiya ya zo ya saka ni a gaba wai sai nazo na ganki, nace masa lafiya ya ce wai dai kawai inzo in ganki" na sunkuyar da kaina ina iyakacin kokari na akan kar inyi kuka nace "Allah sarki yaya na, ya damu dani ne kawai, yaga na haihu kuma duk kun watse kun barni ni kadai shine ya damu da ni" 

Na fada ina kara jaddada wa kaina cewa gaya matan bashi da amfani tunda ba zata iya yi min maganin komai ba, sai ma damuwa da zata shiga ita ma. Tayi shiru tana kallona, da alama bata yarda da ni ba sai na kirkiri murmushi "ko kuma mafarki yayi kura ta cinye ni"

Farhan tayi dariya, nima nayi ina jin stress dina yana raguwa. A lokacin ne Umar ya bude kofa ya fito da murmushi a fuskar sa amma kana gani kasan iyakacin fuskar ya tsaya. Ya kalle ni sannan ya kalli Umma, da akwai alamun damuwa a ransa. Na dauke kaina na tashi na tafi dauko musu ruwa.

Ya durkusa a gaban Umma ya gaishe ta ta amsa masa da fara'ar ta,and I saw his face relaxed, suka dan tsokani juna shida Farhan sai ya tafi hanyar bakin kofa sannan ya juyo yayi kirana "Jidda, zo mana" naji wani takaici ya kama ni, ban amsa ba amma dole na ajiye ruwan hannu na na tafi.

Na tsaya hannuna rike da labule ina kallon sa kamar yadda shima yake kallona. Ya motsa bakinsa ya kai sau uku amma ya magana. Nace "in koma ciki ne? Important mutane suna jirana" ya sake yin kokarin magana "Jidda. Umma ta zo" sai ya kuma yin shiru tare da shafa fuskarsa. 

Na bata rai "kana da abin cewa ne? Akwai maganar da zakuyi da umman ne?" Ya girgiza kai. Na daga kafada "then Allah ya kiyaye hanya" sannan na saki labulen na rufe kofa na koma ciki. 

Ga mamaki na bayan tafiyar sa sai naji zuciyata tayi min dadi, muna ta hirarrakin mu da Umma da Farhan, daga baya ma muma shiga bedroom suna ta taya ni sorting kayan barkan dana tara ana ware wadanda ba yanzu Yasmin zata yi amfani da su ba ana adanawa, sannan Umma tana ajiye min wadanda nima zan ke yin barka da su in anyi haihuwa, sannan kuma ta ware wa Farhan, Amira da kuma Hajiya atampopi masu kyau tace in basu, amma ita sai taki dauka tace bata so, ni kuma sai na dauki wasu nace ta kaiwa Aunty da Aira.

Farhan ce ta shiga kitchen tayi mana girki, tazo tana tsokana ta wai in nuna mata food warmer din da zata zubawa Umar abinci, kar ta zuba a wani abun da ba zai ci a ciki ba. Ban kula ta ba har ta gama ta fita. Sai Umma ta tambayeni. "Lafiya dai ko?" 

Na kalle ta ina kirkirar murmushi "Lfy lau Umma, kinga wani abu ne?" Tace "duk kin rame Hauwa'u, annurin fuskar ki duk ya kau" na daga kafada "kawai stress ne Umma, ga rigimar Yasmin ga hidimar gida ga karatu da zan koma next week" tace "to a samo miki mai aiki mana? Yar dattijuwa haka da zata ke kula da gidan tana kuma taya ki rainon Yasmin" 

Na girgiza kai, ni a raina sam bani da sha'awar yar aiki ko dan ina da muguwar tsafta ne? Gani nake yan aiki zasu yi min kazanta a gida ne ko suyi min wani abun ba dai dai ba. Nace "babu komai umma, zan saba in na kwana biyu, babu komai" tq cigaba da kallo na sai na tashi na shiga toilet duk da babu abinda zanyi a ciki.

Sanda na fito bata nan, sai na fita falo na tarar da ita ta goya Yasmin suna maganada Farhan. Nima na zauna muka cigaba da hirar. A lokacin ya shigo falon da sallama, da ledo ji a hannun sa yana rarraba ido a tsakanin mu sannan ya sake gaishe da umma sai ya tafi kitchen da ledojin. 

Banyi niyyar binsa ba na cigaba da zamana sai naji Umma tace "Jidda....." Kafin ta karasa yakira ni "Jidda" na mike ba tare da nace komai ba sai Umma ta kama fada "shashancin banza kenan. Mijinki ya shigo baki bishi kinji me yake bukata ba kuma yayi kiranki ba zaki amsa ba?" Kafin inyi magana ya sake kirana "Jidda"

Na amsa "gani nan na taho fa" na shiga na same shi da ledojin a hannunsa sai ya miko min, ban karba ba ya ajiye a kasa "uhmm, dama naga bamu da kaji a freezer ne, shine na siyo wa Umma gasassu, irin wadanda nake siyo mana din nan masu laushi, na ga kina son su maybe zata so su itama" 

Na bata rai "shikenan abinda ya saka kake rafka min kira?" Yayi shiru bai ce komai ba. Na ja karamin tsakin da nasan Umma ba zata ji ba na koma falon. Bai jima ba shima ya fito, sai ya sake yiwa Umma sallama sannan yace min "Jidda zan dan fita, idan su Umma zasu tafi sai ki kira ni inzo in kai su gida"

Yana sane, yasan cewa nayi blocking number dinsa, wato so yake yi in bude shi in kira shi. Umma tayi saurin cewa "a'a doctor, ina za'a taso ka daga gurin aikin ka saboda kai mu gida? Mun gode amma kayi zaman ka wallahi zamu tafi ma da kan mu, muna zuwa bakin layi zamu samu abin hawa"

Ya sake cewa "ai ba office zan koma ba, nan bakin layi zan je, tana kira na zan dawo, menene amfanin mota ta in ban kai ki gida ba Umma?" Tayi masa godiya ya fita ni kuma na bishi da harara. 

Yana fita Farhan ta mike,"me aka kawo mana a leda? Na san dai sakon mu ne" nace "to shigabar kwadayayyu, je ki dauko ki gani" ta shiga sai gata ta fito da kaji manya guda biyu da kuma apples a wata ledar da ban. 

Suna nan guri na har bayan laasar sannan suka ce zasu tafi, nace su bari ayi magrib amma suka ki. Umma tace "kar ki kira shi dan Allah ki rabu da shi, ni ba zan ma iya shiga motar sa ba" Farhan ta bata rai "haba Umma, ki bar mu mu shiga raɓa mana" Umma tace "sai dai ki shig ke kadai ni ba zan shiga ba" ni dai inajin su suna tayi har suka gama ban tanka musu ba dan na riga na gama yanke shawarar in sun ce in kira shi ma zanyi faking kiran ne in ce network babu kyau.

Sai bayan magrib ya shigo. "Yanzu shine kika bar su Umma suka tafi a motar haya?" Na tashi zaune "ai kasan sun saba da ma, ko ka manta a cikin motar hayan suka zo? Tun muna ciki muke yawo a motar haya dan haka one more babu abinda zai yi musu" 

Ya zauna yana kallona. "You won't stop, will you?" Na girgiza kaina "never" yace "you won't let me explain ko?" Na sake girgiza kai na "bana bukata" yace "saboda me? Idan banyi miki bayani ba ta yaya zamu samu fahimtar juna?" 

Na mike tsaye "bana bukatar fahimtar ka, na riga na fahimci duk abinda ya kamata in fahimta. Bana bukatar jin wani bayanin ka, dan bana jin zan kuma yarda da duk wata kalma da zata fito daga bakin ka" 

Zan wuce sai ya mike da sauri ya rine hannu na. Na juyo ina kallon sa muka hada nayi saurin dauke nawa idon, ban taba ganin jikinsa yayi sanyi irin na yau ba. Nace "sakar min hannuna" bai musa ba ya sake ni na shige daki, sai dana kwanta na kifa kaina a pillow na fara hawaye sannan na tuna na bar Yasmin a falo. 

Na mike ina goge hawaye na na koma falon sai na ganshi ya durkusa a gaban ta ya dora fuskar sa a jikin ta ta, nazo na saka hannu na ture fuskarsa na dauke yata. Ya bini da kallo bai ce komai ba har na shiga daki na rufe kofa ta.

Kusan kwanan mu biyar a haka, a lokacin na fara kokarin komawa school dama kuma already ina shirye shiryen project dina, sai dai yanzu sam mind dina baya kan karatun ko na dauka ma ba iya wa nake yi ba. Na saba most of the times tare da Umar muke yi kuma shi yake koya min duk abubuwan da ban gane ba. Yanzu kuwa magana ma sai dai yazo yayi ta yin abarsa in bakinsa ya gaji ya yi shiru.

A wannan ranar ma ina cikin dakina da laptop a gaba na ina ta danne danne wai ni a lallai karatu nake yi duk da babu abinda nake ganewa. Naji anyi knocking kofar, a bude take kuma nasan waye dan haka na share shi. Ya turo kofar ya tsaya yana kallona. Na dauke kai pretending to be busy. 

"Kinyi bakuwa a falo" na dago kai kna kallon sa, wani barin na zuciya ta yana aiyana min Zuwaira a matsayin bakuwar da tazo, "Zuwaira ce?" Na tambaya ina kallon sa, sai yazo ya zauna a gefen gadon, na mike tsaye da sauri tare da nuna masa hanyar fita "go away" na fada da dan karfi, ya mike tsaye shima da sauri yana min alamar in yi a hankali, na kara daga murya "ka fita min a daki nace" da sauri ya je ya rufe kofar sannan ya jingina da jikin kofar  "Bashir ne yazo tare da Surayya da kawarta, Surayya ita ce wadda zai aura, ya kawo miki ita ne ku gaisa"

Na koma saman gado na na zauna tare da harde kafafuwana "kaje kace musu ba zan zo ba, bani da lokacin ka ballantana na abokin ka da budurwar sa balle wata kawarta" ya bude hannu "na riga na gaya musu cewa kina nan Jidda, cewa nayi bara in je in kirawo ki. Me zan ce musu kuma yanzu?" Ya fada kamar zaiyi kuka, na daga kafada "oho, ka fini sanin abinda zaka fada ai tunda kai gwani ne gurin iya tsara magana wadda akayi da kuma wadda ba'a yi ba, tabbas zaka san abinda zaka gaya musu"

Ya rintse idonsa ya bude "Jidda please. Ni fa mijin ki ne. Dan Allah ki je ku gaisa ko minti biyu ne sai ki dawo ki cigaba da abinda kike yi dan Allah" sai na dauko ear piece na saka ajikin laptop din na kuma saka a kunne na na fara gyada kai duk da cewa babu kidan da nake ji. 

Ya hawo kan gadon, na nuna shi da hannu "ko ka sauka ko in yi maka ihu" ya sauka ta tafi bakin kofa, ya jima a tsaye yana kallo na sannan ya bude kofar ya fita. Na bi bayan sa da harara sannan na zare earpiece din daga kunnena.

Amma kuma sai na kasa cigaba da zama, na rasa dalilin da yasa ma kasa yin abinda nayi niyya, sai na tashi na saka hijab dina na dan gyara fuska ta na fita.

Yana zaune tare da su ya kawo musu drinks, suna magana da Bashir amma daga gani kasan his mind is not there, na ga yadda ya sauke ajjiyar zuciya da ya ganni sai na tafi gurin yammatan guda biyu.

"Sannun ku da zuwa. Amarsu ta ango sha kamshi" na lura da waddata sunkuyar da kai da kuma wadda tayi dariya, na zauna muma gaisa sannan na juyo na gaishe da Bashir briefly. I was not in the mood for chatting, suma kuma yammatan kamar ba masu surutu bane ba sai naji sunce zasu tafi, muka mike gabaki daya muka fita compound ina saka ran inga sun shiga motar Bashir sun tafi sai naga sun kama hanyar gate shi kuma yayi musu sallama yace sai sunyi waya, nayi mamaki sosai dan Umar ko sanda yake nemana ba zai yi min haka ba ballantana yanzu da in da ace mota ta zata samu problem zai iya bar min tasa shi ya hau ta haya.

Ban iya shiru ba sai nace "ba gida zaka kai su ba?" Ya daga kafada "noo, dama na gaya musu zan tsaya inyi wani abu anan, so, zasu nemi abin hawa ne kawai" na gyada kai kawai na juya zan koma ciki sai yace "baki tambaye ni abinda zan tsaya inyi anan din ba?" Na juyo "maybe zakuyi magana ne da abokin ka or something, I don't know" 

Yayi murmushi "eh magana zamuyi, amma da ke zamuyi ba dashi ba" na tsaya ina kallon sa sannan na juya ina kallon Faruq wanda shima ni yake kallo, sai na girgiza kai nace "babu da wanda zanyi magana, bada kai ba bada abokin ka ba. You think zan yarda da maganar sa bayan naki yarda da taka? Abokin ka ne fa? A guri na komai kayi da sanin sa" 

Ya hadiye wani abu sannan yace "baki tsaya kinji maganar tawa ba ma ai ballantana ki yarda ko ki ƙi yarda" na juya na cigaba da tafiya nace "bana bukatar ji dan ko naji ba zan yarda ba" Bashir ya biyo ni a baya "ta yaya za'a samu fahimtar juna in dai har ba'a zauna anyi magana ba?" Nace "bana bukatar samun fahimtar juna in dai da shi ne, na riga na fahimci dukkan abinda ya kamata in fahimta"

Ina shiga falon suka shigo duk su biyun, Umar yayi saurin shan gaba na, "please please Jidda dan girman Allah ki tsaya. Ki tsaya muyi magana dan Allah" na fara zama frustrated. "Dan Allah" ya sake cewa. Na juya ina kallon Bashir sai ya nuna min kujera yace "dan Allah ba dan ni ba ko dan shi" na kalli hanyar dakina "yata zan dauko" sai Umar yace "ki zauna, zan ne in dauko ta" 

Na koma na zauna ina kallon Bashir, ina so inji wacce karyar kuma Umar ya hada masa shi kuma zai hada min? Nayi folding hannuna ina kallon sa nace "ina jin ka"

Sai ya zauna shima sannan yace "Umar ya gaya min abinda ya faru, ya kuma gaya min komai da komai duk da dai already na riga nasan wani part na abin da ya faru. And I totally believe kina da every right da zaki yi treating dinsa yadda kike yi koma fiye da haka, saboda bashi da wani excuse na abinda yayi. Na kuma zo ne nan gurin ki badan in baki hakuri ba akan abinda yayi din dan na gaya masa shi yayi creating mess dinsa shi ne kuma zaiyi cleaning. Nazo ne dan in gaya miki gaskiya, gaskiya to the best of my knowledge. Sannan kuma nazo ne saboda zan iya cewa akwai wani part na laifi na a cikin maganar"

Na gyara zamana "Umar ya kan yi rantsuwa akan karya. Ban sani ba ba ko kaima halin ka ne hakan? Tunda abokin ka ne?" Ya girgiza kansa "ban san a ina ne yayi miki rantsuwa akan karyar ba, dan haka ba zance dai dai ne ko ba dai dai bane ba, amma ni yan zu na rantse miki, wallahi, duk abinda zan gaya miki shine gaskiyar magana"

Nace "menene gaskiyar abinda yake tsakanin Umar da Zuwaira?"

Yace "budurwar sa ce. Tun muna buk suke tare, he thought he was in love with her, then realized the kind of person she is and broke up with her. Amma ita a lokacin bata shirya rabuwa da shi ba sai suka cigaba da kasancewa tare on and off, shi yasan cewa ba aurenta zai yi ba and itama deep inside her tasan cewa ba auren ta zaiyi ba amma sun cigaba da rayuwa a haka" 

"Labarin sa ne ba nawa ba, and like I said am not here to clean up his mess but to tell you the truth. And the truth is, he finally broke up with her lokacin da ya hadu dake and fall in love with you and decided to settle down. Yayi cutting every ties da ita. That am very sure of. Kafin bikin ku zan iya cewa sunyi watanni basa tare. We even though ta hakura dashi finally"

"But jin labarin auren ku shine ya rikita ta, she realized cewa da gaske yake ba aurenta zaiyi ba and blamed him for all that has happened in her life. Wannan ne yasa tazo gidan nan, har ta fara dasa zargi a tsakanin ku, kuma ta ganshi yana bacci a reception din Mahmud ranar nan ta kuma turo miki sakon cewa suna tare, but am telling you the truth, and the truth is basa tare a ranar nan" 

"Tare da ni muka je har inda take aiki a saloon din Mahmud, aikin da Umar din ne ya samar mata tun sanda tayi dropping out of school, kuma ya buga mata warning sosai a kanki saboda ransa yayi balain baci a lokacin musamman akan sharrin da tayi masa"

"Maganganun daya gaya mata ni a lokacin na dauka ko mai sunansa ba zata kuma kalla ba, wannan shi ya kara min mamaki last week data turo min message tana nemansa ni kuma na gaya mata cewa baya gari yana Lagos" 

Na dago kai ina kallon sa sai ya gyada min kai yace "yes, ba tare suka tafi ba, Baba ne ya aike shi wata harkar business dinsa, and I accidentally told her yana Lagos and she followed him"

Sai ya dauko wayarsa yayi danne danne sannan ya miko min

Hira ce a tsakanin shi da Zuwaira, na gane ita ce saboda through Facebook ne da profile din data yi min magana and it goes like this

"Hi"
"Hi"
"Nace idan babu hello ai akwai hi ko? Amma ku babu hello din ma a gurin ku ballantana hi din" 
"Tuba muke yi ranki ya dade"
"Ni na isa! Ransu ya dade dai su masu matsayin"
"Lol. You are funny" 
"Funny ko gaskiya. Naji ance ma har an haifa muku Baby. Babu sanarwa m ballantana ma mu saka ran zamu samu naman suna. To maje mu karba da kan mu"
"Don't even try that, kin san dai abinda yace last time da kika je gidansa ko?"
"Yeah I know. Amma ya zanyi da raina? Mai sonka ai shi yake bibiyar ka ko?" 
"Eh haka ne. Kinyi gaskiya. Mun gode"
"Yana ina ne? I have been trying to contact him in yi masa barka na kasa samun sa"
"Baya gari, yaje Lagos wani business" 
"Lagos? A can ake jegon kenan?" 
"No, shi kadai ya tafi. Jiya"
"Okay. Shikenan. Thank"
"Yeah. Bye"


Na sake komawa sama na ga date din hirar, and it shows washegarin tafiyar Umar. Na mika masa wayarsa bance komai ba, ya karba yace "wannan shi yasa nace part of it laifi na ne. Ban san me ya faru a tsakanin su a Lagos ba, yace ta turo miki some pictures, ban san menene a pictures din ba and I am not saying ko menene yayi a can din yayi dai dai, but koma menene yayi nadama and I think he deserves a listening ear from you. Ruwan ki ne ki yafe masa ko ki ƙi, but I am begging you, listen to him"

*wannan littafin na siyarwa ne, idan baki siya ba kar ki karanta, in kin siya kuma kar kiyi sharing, in kika yi kinci amana kuma ke da Allah*

*The Confession 2* 

Na dago kai ina kallon sa, trying to study him, sai kuma na juya na kalli Umar wanda ya fito tun dazu daga daki da Yasmin a hannun sa yana tsaye a bakin kofa yana kallon mu, na sake mayar da dubana kan Bashir sannan nace "for all I know bakin ku daya, for all I know tare kuka zauna kuka shirya maganar da zaku gaya min"

"Na yarda cewa ba tare suka tafi ba, na yarda kuma bashi ya gayyaceta cewa ta bishi ba, duk that doesn't change anything, that doesn't mean anything, taje gurinsa yayi welcoming her with open arms, kuma bani da wani abun da zai bani guarantee cewa gobe ma ba zai koma mata ba, ko kuma in tazo ba zai karbe ta ba, ko kuma......" 

Ya katse ni "ba zai je ba, ita ma kuma ba zata je gurinsa ba, for that I am very sure of" nace "menene hujjar ka ta fadar haka? Dan ka ga yana nuna kamar yayi nadama? Da farko ai ba taba tsammanin zaiyi ba kuma yazo yayi din" 

Ya girgiza kai, "tabbas yayi nadama, amma yanzy ba ina magana ne akan nadamar sa ba, ina magana ne akan abinda ya aikata ga Zuwaira sanadiyyar sakon data turo miki" 

Nayi shiru ina kallon sa bance komai ba, sai ya dauko wayarsa for the second time yayi danne danne sannan ya miko min "kalli nan ki gani. Ban sani ba ko zaki gane wacece wannan?" Na karba na duba.

Facebook ne, wata ce tayi posting hoton wata tana nema mata addu'a daga gurin mutane akan tsautsayin daya same ta. Na kalli matar cikin hoton, Kallon farko ban gane taba, sai daga baya na gane ta, Zuwaira ce, sai dai zan iya cewa babu wani abu na fuskar ta wanda bai chanja kamanni ba, gabaki daya fuskar ta kumbura suntum idonta daya ma ya rufe saboda kumburi ga kuma dinki da akayi mata a kasan idon nata da gefen kunnenta. Fuska ce kadai, banga sauran jikin ba.

Na dago kai. "Menene hadin abinda muke magana akai da kuma tsautsayin da ya same ta?" Sai yayi murmushi "ba tsautsayi ne ya same ta ba, mijinki ne ya dake ta" 

Na daga kai da sauri na kalli Umar sannan na sake kallon hoton hannuna, na kuma yin scrolling through dan in tabbatar cewa it is for real. Sannan na shiga gurin comment naga ana ta yi mata jaje, wadanda suka santa suna ambatar sunan ta. 

Na sake dago kai ina kallon sa sai ha daga kafada yace "he told me ya bata mata kamanni kamar yadda ta bata shi a gurin ki. I never knew how bad sai dazu naga friend dinta tayi posting" 

Na mika masa wayarsa sannan nace "ya burge kenan? A ganinsa dan ya dake ta zai burge ni kenan? Ko kuma dukan ta zai goge abinda yayi" ya girgiza kai "am sure bai burge ki ba kamar yadda ni ma bai burge ni ba, but that doesn't matter, abinda nake so wannan ya fahimtar dake shine how deep his love for you is, abinda ya faru a tsakanin su will never match abinda yake a tsakanin ku. And that should mean something to you. That should make him deserves a listening ear from you" 

Na juya na sake kallon Umar sai ya sunkuyar da kansa. Bashir ya mike ya dauki wayarsa sannan yaje ya mika masa hannu suka yi musabaha sai yazo ya fita. 

Falon yayi shiru bayan fitarsa, ni sai naji ma kamar har kukan tsintsayen da suke waje da kuma karar motocin da suke wucewa duk sun tsaya. Ya tako ya taho inda nake zaune, sai ya ajiye Yasmin a gefe na, ban kalle shi ba sai kawai gani nayi ya saka guiwowin sa a kasa yayi kneel down a gaba na, ya kamo hannayena biyu ya rike a cikin nasa biyu sannan ya hade su a kirjinsa tare da dora fuskar sa akai.

"Ban san me zance miki ba Jidda" 

Nace "start with the truth"

Yace "ita zan gaya miki, the whole of it" 

"Ka yarda kenan ka amince cewa Zuwaira karuwar ka ce bata Mahmud ba? Ka yarda ka amince cewa ka kawo ta gidan nan ta zauna tsahon lokaci saboda bukatar gangar jikin ka? Ka yarda ka amince cewa you cheated on me with her a Lagos?" 

Na fada ina kuka, kuka sosai wanda na dauka na gama yin irin sa amma yanzu sai ya dawo min sabo. Ya dago kansa yana kallona, ga mamaki na sai naga shima kukan yake, and that's something I never expected from him, I never thought it possible for someone as strong as him yayi kuka, I thought kuka na iri na ne mata kuma masu rauni. Sai naji tawa zuciyar ta kuma tsinkewa, automatically na rintse hannayensa da suke cikin nawa

"Me yasa kayi min karya?" Na fada ina kara volume din kuka na. "Me yasa tun farko da na tambayeka ko ka santa ka ce min ba ka santa ba" ya ja hannayena zuwa sides din fuskarsa, ina jin yadda hawayensa ya jika fuskar ta sa, ya sake jan guiwar sa yana kara shiga tsakanin kafafuwana sannan yace "me kike so in ce miki a lokacin huh? Me kike tunanin zan iya ce miki? Cewa I have a bad past her? Shine gaskiyar da kike tunanin zan iya gaya miki? Sannan in zauna in kalle ki cikin kunan zuciya? Regretting marrying me kamar yadda kike yanzu?"

Na fara kokarin kwace hannu na amma ya hana ni, yana kara matse su a kan fuskarsa "yes I had a bad fast with her in haka kike so kiji daga bakina, yes na bata gida na ta zauna a ciki lokacin da iyayen ta suka kore ta, and yes na sama mata aiki a gurin aboki na sanda aka yi withdrawing dinta daga school, is that what you want to hear? Me wannan din zai karar damu a zaman auren mu?" 

Na rintse idona ina jin zafi mai yawa a cikin zuciyata, I asked for the truth amma yanzu dana same ta it doesn't sound so good but it is still the truth. 

Na karbe hannuna daya na dafe fuskata dashi ina sheshshekar kuka. Amma duk da haka sai na sake tambaya "and you told her duk abinda ta gaya min cewa ka gaya mata?" Ya girgiza kai "wallahi Jidda ban gaya mata ba, I cut all ties with her tun sanda nayi niyyar auren ki, wallahi ban taba maganar ki da ita ba" na girgiza kai "but then you cheated on me with her a Lagos. In kayi cutting all ties with her ya akayi haka ta faru? It doesn't look as if she forced you" 

Ya saki hannu na yana kokarin kama kafada ta, na ja baya sai ya kifa fuskar sa akan cinyata yana kuka mai sauti. "I don't know Jidda, I don't know what came over me, she knows me and she seduced me" na ture fuskarsa daga jikina ina kara shigewa cikin kujerar, wani irin kishi mai daci yana ratsa jikina har cikin bakina

"Don't touch me, kar ka sake taba ni. Nan gaba kadan ma cewa zama yi raping dinka tayi" ya kama hannuna daya ya fara dukan kansa dashi "hit me, in zuciyarki zata huce hit me all you want amma kar kice ba zaki yafe min ba dan Allah. Abinda nayi miki is unforgivable kuma bani da wani excuse da zan baki. Na karbi dukkan laifuka na. Ki yafe min dan Allah ki bani second chance, ki bawa auren mu second chance dan Allah Jidda"

Na karbe hannuna daga nasa na hada dukkan hannayen biyu na rungume a kirjina inda nake jin tamkat zuciyata zata fado kasa in ban rike ta ba, I love him so much shi yasa betrayal dinsa take hurting dina too much. 

"Me na gaza banyi maka ba Faruq? Akan gado da kuma a waje menene bana yi maka? Why did you chose to betray my love for you? Dan kaga ina son ka? Is that it? Dan kana tunanin ba zan iya rabuwa da kai ba saboda ina sonka? Shine takamar ka?"

Ya hawo kan kujerar tare da jawo ni jikinsa "ba zan ce nasan abinda kike ji a zuciyarki ba, ba zan iya misaltawa ba amma believe me zafin da nake ji a tawa zuciyar ban taba jin irinsa ba, saboda ganin ki cikin wannan halin and knowing nine silar saka ki a ciki. Saboda Jidda I love you, I love you with all my heart and soul, more than I love myself"

Na dago kaina ina kallon sa "kana son nawa fiye da kanka kuma kayi min sharri, kayi min sharri a gaban iyayena dan ka kare kanka ni kuma ka dora min laifi kuma ka zauna kana saurarensu suka yi min fada? Wannan shine naka kalar soyayyar?" Ya kamo fuska ta na ture hannunsa "Jidda I did that for us, for me and you and our children. Kina tunanin zanyi confessing a gabansu ne akan wannan maganar? Mu zamu iya daidai ta wa muyi putting what happened behind us amma su ba zasu manta ba and they may tell someone else who may tell someone else and before you know it our family will forever be stained with my mistake. Shi yasa na gaya musu haka. Case din duba waya is the most popular marital problem nowadays, shi yasa na gaya musu saboda maganar ta mutu ba wai saboda inyi hurting dinki ba....." 

Nace "but you did hurt me. Me yasa baka kirkiri wata maganar da zata nuna cewa kaine mai laifi ba yadda kai za'a yi wa fada bani ba? In dai har da gaske kana sona yadda kake fada" yayi shiru bai ce komai ba, na ture shi daga jikina "kayi deleting hotuna daga wayata, but they will forever be in my head. Wadannan munanan hotunan will forever be in my head for as long as I have a brain in my skull"

Na fara kokarin tashi amma ya rike waist dina ya hana ni mikewa "na sani, na sani, but ina so ki san cewa she purposely took those pictures, it was all planned and I even believe she hired someone to help her with the plan. Babu daya daga cikin su da na san lokacin da aka dauka. She purposely got me in those moods dan tayi proving to you cewa I was happy. Shine abinda take so, burinta shine ta raba ni da ke a matsayin revenge a kaina saboda tasan yadda nake son ki kuma tana blaming dina for her unfortunate life"

Na ture hannunsa na mike "and kana ganin laifin ta for that? Well ni dai bana gani. Waye ya bata mata rayuwat idan ba kai ba, waye yayi sanadiyyar rabuwa da iyayen ta da rashin karatun ta idan ba kai ba, sannan kayi auren ka ka barta a titi, banga laifin ta danta yi kokarin daukan fansa ba, and at the end me ta samu daga gare ka? Duka? Really Umar? You think wannan zai saka ni in huce haushin abinda kayi? You think zaka faranta min ne by doing that? Then baka sanni ba har yau, cos ni har yanzu bana jin wani abu mai kama da haushi na Zuwaira saboda bani da wani tie da ita, haushina a kan ka ne saboda kaine wanda nake so, kai kuma kaci amana ta ba ita ba"

Na juya da sauri na shige daki. 

Ina shiga na kwanta nayi ta jera ajjiyar zuciya ina going over things a cikin kaina and I found myself analysing rayuwar Zuwaira a bisa hasashe na duk da cewa ban san details din ba. Farko i guessed bata samu tarbiyya mai kyau ba a lokacin da take tashi a gaban iyayenta, sannan suka kaita school da niyyar tayi karatu ta zama wata aba a duniya but she didn't, instead she met Umar whom she thought yana sonta ne and she fall for him, daya daga cikin su ya lalata daya, ko kuma a tare suka lalata juna, he may even be her first, I don't know and I don't want to know. And then another laifin iyayenta shine da suka barwa duniya ita bayan ta lalace din, maimakon su jawo ta su gyara ta, shi kuma Umar yayi welcoming her with open army har da bata gurin zama maimakon yayi kokarin daidaita ta da iyayenta. 

She got withdrawn from school, saboda bata karatu she was busy satisfying Umar, while shi kuma Umar yayi karatun sa har yayi graduating, daga nan ta bar gidan sa ta kama gidan kanta, he may have even helped her with that, sai ta koma public toilet kuma, ta fara satisfying duk wanda zai bata abin duniya yayin da shi Kuma ya tafi India yana kara bunkasa ilimin sa, sanda ya dawo bata ma daga cikin agenda dinsa, ya hadu dani yayi settling down. Ita kuma a nata bangaren shekaru sun fara ja, ta fara neman yadda zata yi tayi settling down ita ma amma babu dama, babu wanda zai aure ta. She looked back and thought duk shi ya jawo mata kuma yayi excelling har yana kokarin tara family, and them like he said she blamed him for everything and decided to take a revenge ta hanyar raba shi da ni kamar yadda ta rasa komai ita ma. 

Kamar yadda ya fada tasan address din gidan su a Lagos, and she knows him sexually, maybe ma tare suka fara exploring sexuality din su dan haka kamar yadda ya fada she might have seduced him musamman tunda yana cikin bukatar mace saboda halin rashin tsarki da nake ciki a sanadin haihuwa. Ta riga ta shirya cewa zata dauki hotunan and she took them and send them to me, yayinda shi kuma ya saki jiki yayi enjoying kansa yana tunanin yaci banza a can zai kuma dawo gida and straight into my arms. 

And now da komai ya chabe, still he got me, duk da dai things have strongly changed between us, ita kuma fa? She got beaten, dukan kuma da nasan tabbas sai ya bar mata tabo a jikinta, kuma ya daki banza dan babu abinda zata iya yi akai. 

To wa gari ya waya?????

Rayuwar Zuwaira is a food for thought ga yammata. Allah yasa sunji kuma sun dauka........

Wannan kenan

But wannan duk hasashe na ne. Amma nasan it is more or less like that.

Ina kwance ya shigo, nayi saurin rufe idona duk da n tabbatar yasan ba bacci nake yi ba, ya kwantar da Yasmin a basinet din ta sannan ya dawo gaba na ya durkusa yayi kissing goshina. Naja fuskata da baya sannan na bude idona "menene hakan?" Ya rike hannuna "so nake mu karasa maganar mu, so nke ki ce min kin yafe min kin hakura, so nake inji kince zaki bani second chance, zaki bawa auren mu second chance".

Nayi shiru ina kallon sa. Tun daga shigowar sa rayuwata zuwa yanzu, apart from this problem da muka samu bai taba kawo min komai cikin rayuwata ba sai tarin alkhairai. Tun ina gidan mu yake bi na da alkhairi har na zama tasa na zama matarsa har yau yana sauke dukkanin nauyi na daya rataya awuyansa, yana dora duk wadansu bukatu na a saman nasa, yana girma ma iyaye na da yanuwa na da gaske, a cikin shekaru biyu da watannin da na san shi bana jin ko kallon banza ya taba yi min ballantana har ya kai shi ga gaya min bakar magana balle a akai ga duka. And on top of all these dana lissafa, I so much love him.

Yes, he deserves a second chance. And I gave it to him.

Na gyada kai na. Zan baka second chance Umarul Faruq. Amma ina son ka saka a ranka cewa ba zan taba mantawa da abinda ya faru ba" ya gyada kai da sauri fuskarsa tana nuna jin dadin da zuciyarsa ta fara shiga ciki "I know I know, amma nayi miki alkawarin with time zaki manta. But ina so muyiwa juna alkawarin ba zamu sake yin maganar ba, wannan zai taimaka mana wajen mantawa din" na juya kaina "I don't think so, but yes, ba zan sake maganar ba dan maganar bata da amfani. Sannan abu na biyu da nake so ka sani shine, wani sashe mai girma na soyayyar ka, na trust din da take tsakanin mu yabi iska tare da wannan maganar, dan haka ko mun koma together ba zai zamanto kamar da ba" 

Ya sake wani murmushin sannan yayi kissing cheek dina, nayi sauri na saka hannu n agoge gurin sai yace "nayi miki alkawarin, komai girman percentage din soyayya ta daya fita daga zuciyar ki, in dai har kika bani wannan damar zan sake dawo miki dashi, zan cike dukkan wani gurbi da wannan maganar ta samar a cikin zuciyarki, and add some more. Dama kawai nake bukata daga gare ki"

Na juya fuska ta ina kallon Yasmin data farka daga baccin ta tana ta jejjefa kafa da hannaye, sai na juyo ina kallon sa, shima har yanzu ni yake kallo, sannan nace "na baka, second chance. Amma tare da alkawarin ba zaka kuma yi min karya ba" 

Ya gyada kai da sauri fuskarsa tana nuna jin dadi yace "Nagode Nagode, Allah yayi miki albarka Hauwa'u, kuma ni Umar insha Allah ba zan kuma baki kunya ba" 

Sai ya sunkuyo da niyyar hade bakin mu, nayi saurin juya fuska ta sannan na juya masa baya gabakidaya. Yes, nasan we will kiss again tunda na yadda zan bashi second chance amma ba yanzu ba. Yayi dariya "okay, okay, in time insha Allah. Sai yayi kissing kafada ta sannan ya mike "zan je masjid, daga nan kuma zan je gida. Wajan kwana na uku rabon su da ni" 

Na gyada kai kawai, sai naji ya cigaba da tsaiwa sai nace "a dawo lafiya Allah ya kiyaye hanya" yace "yauwa. Ameen. Thank you" 

Sai da naji fitarsa sannan na tashi, and I did cooked for him abinda tunda abin ya faru banyi masa ba sannan na shiga dakin sa na gyara masa shi na wanke masa toilet na hada masa kayan wankinsa na fito na bawa maigadi nace ya kaiwa wanda yake yi wa Umar wanki ni kuma na dawo na hada kananun kayansa na wanke na zagaya baya na shanya, lokacin gari ya fara duhu har an fara kirare kiraren sallar magrib. Sai na dawo na dauki yata na goya ta na kara gyara falon sannan na zuba abinci na zauna ina ci.

Ina cikin cin abincin ya shigo. Ya tsaya a gabana tare da boye hannun sa daya a bayansa yace "albishirinki" na kalle shi kawai na dauke kai na bance komai ba, sai ya fito da hannun "na siyo miki nagari" (yoghout din nagari, yasan ina son sa sosai) 

In our golden olden days zanyi tsalle ne in rungume shi ina murna, amma yanzu sai na motsa bakina kadan nace "thank you" ya zauna a kusa dani yace "you are welcome" tare da miko min, na mika hannu zan karba sai ya matsar da shi baya "dan Allah karki zubar, baki san yadda naji a raina ba akan abinda kika yiwa sandwich dina ranar nan" nace "au ashe ka gani? Alhamdulillah, ai na dauka baka gani ba har naji haushi kar ka dauka wai ko naci ne" 

Ya bata rai "Allah dan baki san wahalar da nasha bane wajan hada miki shi ba, har konewa fa nayi" ya fada yana kallon babban dan yatsansa sannan ya fara kokarin nuna min, na dauke kai na gefe sai yayi murmushi, ya miko min yoghout din na karba sannan na bude murfin na sa a bakina na kurba, sai na rufe na ajiye. Yayi ajjiyar zuciya, "thank you" 

Bance komai ba ta sake cewa "Mufida tana gaishe ki, wai kin dawo lafiya daga tafiyar da kika yi babu sallama?" Na juya ina kallon sa "au dama tafiya nayi ashe?" Ya daga kafada "eh tafiya kuka yi ke da su Umma zuwa gurin dangin su" na bude baki "really Umar?" Yace "what do you expect me to tell her sanda ta dawo daga school ta tarar ba kya nan? In ce mata kinyi yaji kin tafi nima ban san inda kike ba?" 

Na mike na dauke plate din dana ci abinci na kai kitchen sannan na dawo na dauki kwalin yoghout dina, nace "ga abincin ka can a dining" yace "ba zaki zauna ki taya ni ci ba? Ba zaki zauna muyi kallo tare ba?" Na girgiza kaina "karatu zanyi" sai na wuce na tafi daki.

A zahirin gaskiya karatun nake so inyi dan abubuwa sun balain chakude min a school, amma kuma my mind is so filled with something beyond karatu, ta yaya zanyi facing wannan rayuwar, ta yaya zan iya bawa Umar second chance din da nayi alkawari alhalin duk sanda na kalli fuskarsa sai na tuno da hoton sa tare da Zuwaira? It truly sounds easier than done.

Ina ta flipping through pages har dare ya shiga, na tashi na fita na gyara inda yaci abinci na kuma gyara kitchen na shiga toilet na hada ruwan zafi nayi wanka ina noticing cewa na kusa samun tsarki dan na kwana biyu ma rabon da in saka pad, abinda ya rage na daga abinda yake fita daga jikina kadan ne, sannan stitches dina ma alhamdulillah sun warke sosai dan in ba taba gurin nayi bama bana tuna wa da anyi min dinki a gurin, ko dan kwararren likita ne yayi min dinkin?

Ina fitowa na ganshi a dakin, daga alama daga wankan shima ya fito daga nasa toilet din, yana kwance akan gado yana yiwa yasmin wasa "Baby zo ki gani, dariya take yi min wallahi" nace "hmmm. Kunji dadi kai da ita" sai na juya na fara shirin kwanciya ta amma ina kallon idonsa akaina ta mirror, ban kula shi ba har na gama na dauki Yasmin na shiga da ita itama na yi mata wanka na fito da ita, ya miko min hannu "kawo ta in shirya ta" na wuce shi na kashe ac sannan na dawo na ajiye ta akan gado tare da dauko man shafawarta, ya karba "ki bani in shafa mata" na mika masana hau gadon na juya musu baya na ja abin rufa, zuwa anjima naji yayi magana "wai ya ake saka Pampers din nan ne? Ina ne gaban ina ne bayan?" 

Na juyo ban ce masa komai ba na saka mata sannan na saka mata rigar baccinta na dauke ta na fara feeding dinta, ya tashi ya fita, ita kuma tayi bacci na kwantar da ita sannan na kashe fitila na kwanta nima. Ina jinsa ya shigo ya kunna fitila ya dauke Yasmin ya saka ta a basinet din ta sai kuma ya kashe fitilar ya hau gadon tare da yaye abinda na rufa dashi. 

Na mike zaune da sauri na nuna shi "don't, don't even think about it" ya bude ido "I thought....." Na koma na kwanta tare da jan abun rufa ta "you think wrong" ya sake matsowa tare da saka hannunsa ya jawo ni jikinsa. Na ja da baya kamar wadda aka dora a wuta. Ya sake matsowa yana kokarin saka fuskarsa a wuyana, na mike da sauri na dauki pillow na na jefar a gaban gadon na sauka na kwanta, ko gama kwanciya banyi ba na ji shi a bayana, ya dora kansa akan pillown nawa, na mike zaune. 

"Dan Allah, ka rabu da ni" ya mike zaune shima tare da kamo waist dina ya jawo ni jikinsa, na runtse idona ina tunawa da hotonsu shida Zuwaira wanda ya rike waist dinta, na fara kokarin cire hannun sa daga jikina "ka rabu dani" na fada in ajin wani irin kishin sa a raina.

Ya fara tracing kisses tun daga kafada ta zuwa wuyana, sannan ya juyo dani yana kokarin dora bakinsa akan nawa, na janye fuskata hawaye yana bin idona. Yace "idan har zamu bawa auren mu second chance, dole ne mu fara daga nan, idan bamu dawo da nan din mu dai dai ba duk wata sauran muamalar mu da zamu gyara ya tashi a banza kenan"

Na girgiza kaina. "Bazan iya ba Umar, not now please. Ka bani lokaci" ya sake ni. "Shikenan. You have all the time da kike bukata. Ba zan takura miki ba har sai kin cemin kin amince da kanki"

Na mike na koma kan gadon na kwanta ina karasa sauran kukan dana fara, ina jinsa ya hau gadon shima sannan ya jawo ni jikinsa ya lullube mu tare, na muskuta na raba jikina da nasa, yayi ajjiyar zuciya "I will wait"

Sai dai daga dukkan alama ya dauka jiran na wasa ne, sai daga baya ya fahimci abin babba ne dan sosai na kasa hada jikina da shi duk kuwa da cewa a lokuta da dama ina tunanin zan iya amma tsananin kishinsa da kuma kasa cire hotunan su da nayi daga raina shi yasa na kasa bashi jikina. 

A lokacin ne kuma Aunty ta kawo min ziyara tace tazo ne taga halin da muke ciki kuma ta sake yi min nasiha, ta zauna kuwa tayi ta min nasihar, wadda yawanci akan yadda zan tabbatar da cewa na biya wa Umar dukkan bukatunsa ne ta yadda ba zai fita waje nema ba. 

Sannan ta dauko magunguna ta bani, suma dai duk na kokarin gamsar da Umar din ne musamman a matsayi na na wadda ta haihu. Na karba nayi mata godiya, Umar ma yazo ya gaishe ta amma ko a fuska bata nuna masa wani abu ba. Shi kum aya cika ta da abin arziki ta tafi. Amma still na kasa hada jiki dashi.

And it went on for days, a cikin days din ne na samu tsarki, abin da nayi iyakacin kokari na wajen ganin na boye ga Umar dan kar ya kara takura cewa sai ya kusance ni musamman idan ya san zai samu full package ne, sai dai duk da buyan nawa sai da ya gani and he reacted just like I thought

Kwana biyu bayan nan yaje limit dinsa na hakuri. 

Ya same ni a daki ina kwance bayan na gama duk shirye shiryen bacci na, ya kunna fitila ya tsaya yana kallona kamar yadda nima nake kallon sa. Sai ya wuce ni ya shiga toilet, na koma na kwantar da kaina ina jin raina yana baci dan nasan abinda ya kawo shi a yanzu. Ina kwance har ya fito ya tsaya a bakin kofa yana kallona. 

Nayi saurin rintse ido na, yana da al'adar fitowa daga wanka babu komai a jikinsa ko da kuwa karamin towel ne, yasan kuma a yanayin da muke ciki hakan zai taba ni shi yasa yanzun yayi hakan, na juya baya daga inda yake ina jinsa yana dariya. "Pssss, kallo nan kiga" nayi kamar banji shi ba. A raina ina ta jera adduoin Allah yasa bacci mai nauyi ya dauke ni kafin ya gama shafe shafen sa amma ko kusa babu bacci a tare da ni.

Ina jinsa ya hawo kan gadon sannan ya yaye min bargon da na rufa dashi kamar yadda yake shima al'adar sa ce hakan. Nayi pretending kamar nayi bacci, hoping in ya jini shiru zai rabu dani kamar yadda yake yi a kwanakin baya. Amma sai naji ya fara kokarin cire min zurmemiyar rigar baccin da na saka wadda ta kai har kafafuwana, na fara kokawa dashi. 

"Ka rabu dani, na gaya maka ka rabu da ni" yayi dariya "in naki kuma fa?" Na bude idona, har yanzu babu komai a jikinsa kuma daga dukkan alama bashi da niyyar sawa, na sake rufe idona tare da kokarin sane jan bargo, ya kwace bargon ya jefar dashi kasa yana kara matso ni ina kara ture shi "ai na gaya maka bazan iya ba ko? Kuma ka yarda ka kuma yi alkawarin zaka jira ni har sai na yarda da kaina ko?" Yace "well, na karya alkawarin, I thought zan iya jira amma naga bazan iya ba, you my dear have stretched my patience up to it's breaking point kuma har yanzu naga baki da niyyar saukowa" 

Na bude ido na ina kallon fuskar sa kadai nace "to me zaka yi min? Tunda ban amince ba zaka tilasta min ne? Are You planning on raping me?" Yayi dariya, daga gani a cikin nishadi yake jin sa yau dinnan "no, not raping you, but I planned on making you change your mind"

Na harare shi "I will never" yace "okay let's find out" ya fara saka min hannu a riga ni kuma na fara kokawa dashi, ina doke hannun duk sanda ya kawo, muka fara kokawa tun daga kwance har muka tashi zaune sai dai karfin ba daya bane ba dan ma shi dariya yake yi nice na dage da dukkan karfina nake yi, a haka yayi nasarar cire doguwar riga ta yana dariya ya mayar da abin wasa yayin da ni kuma nake kara kumbura da kuma kara kaimi gurin kwatar kaina.

Na fara haki, exhausted, duk karfi na ya kare shi kuwa ko a jikinsa. Ya hada hannayena da nake ture shi da su duk biyun ya rike su a baya na da hannu daya, sannan yasa daya hannun ya balle hook din bra ta, yana murmushi yace "is that all you got, ko akwai saura?" Naji haushi ya sake kama ni, na fara haurin sa da kafafuwana sai ya hada su duk biyun ya saka a tsakanin nasa sannan ya matse yana kallon cikin ido na. "Saura me kuma?" 

Na lura bani da abinda ya rage min min sai bakina, na fara maganar da zan gaya masa mai zafi wadda zata saka ya rabu dani nace "wai kai maye ne? Baka da zuciya? Ayi ta korar ka amma ba zaka rabu da mutum ba? Nace bana yi! Nace bana so! Dole ne"

Sai naga ya daina dariyar da yake yi, na dauka magana ta ce ta bata masa rai har na fara jin dadi sai naji yace "eh din ni mayen ne, amma ba mayen komai bane ba mayen ki ne, kuma maitar ku yanzu na fara ta, babu gudu babu ja da baya, ni da ke babu rabuwa, not now not ever"

Kafin in bashi amsa ya dora bakinsa akan nawa, cutting off duk wata magana da nayi niyyar gaya masa, kissing me like he has never done before, ya sauke ajjiyar zuciyar da naji ta a dukkan jikinsa sannan ta ratsa zuwa nawa jikin ta saka ni nima na ajjiye tawa. And I struggled no more. 

Sanda ya saki hannu na ban ture shi da su ba sai na zagaye wuyansa dasu, drawing him closer, giving and receiving. And I hated my body for betraying me like that.

And when he entered me, he filled not only my body but all the spaces that were created in my heart, duk guraben da nake tunanin son sa ya ragu a gurin ya dawo ya cika su taf, just like he said he will.

Ga masu son siya zasu iya turo kudin su #300 zuwa wannan account din

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Sai su turo evidence of payment zuwa wannan number din ta hanyar WhatsApp
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*wannan littafin na amana ne, idan baki siya ba kar ki karanta, idan kin siya kar kiyi sharing, in kika yi kinci amana kuma ke da Allah*

*The Second Chance*

Motsinsa ne ya tashe ni da assuba, na farka naga ya fito daga wanka yana goge gashin kansa. Nayi shiru ina kallon sa har ya gama drying jikinsa ya saka shorts sannan ya dora jallabiyya akai, na lumshe idona ina jin soyayyar sa tana kara hauhawa a cikin zuciyata. Ima kuma jin kuskuren da yayi yana raguwa kadan kadan kamar yadda tokar takarda take narkewa a cikin ruwa.

But what if he did it again? 
Can I take it? Can my heart take it? 

Na sake bude idona ina kallon sa, naga ya dauko roll on deodorant dina yana shafawa yana humming waka under his breath, nayi murmushi, sai naga ya juyo sai nayi sauri na mayar da ido na na rufe, sai ya taho ya zauna a gefen gadon, nasan kallona yake yi amma na ki bude idona, pretending to be asleep, ya sunkuyo yayi kissing eyelids dina, na dan kifta ido na sannan na bude su na sauke su a cikin nasa, remembering the first time I saw them 

"Morning sweetness" ya fada yana shafa gefen fuskata "ko yau ma sai nazo na kuna hada wani ruwan zafin ne" nayi murmushi ina kokarin boye fuska ta, shi kuma yayi dariya.

Tabbas sai daren jiya na fahimci abinda yake nufi sanda yayi min dinki da yace "as good as new" amma ni ba zance as good as new din ba amma babu ta yadda zaka ce da ya fita daga gurin. 

Ya rike fuskar da nake kokarin boyewa, ya dora goshinsa akan nawa, hancinsa akan nawa, sannan yace "kin san ina son ki sosai ko?" Na gyada kai ina murmushi dan tabbas in ma daban sani ba to jiya naji kuma na gani kuma na tabbatar.

Yace "good" sannan ya saki fuskar ya tashi "ki tashi kiyi sallah, zan je masjid" ban amsa ba har ya kai bakin kofa ya kama ta ya bude sai na kira sunan sa, ya juyo yana kallon amma bai amsa ba sai nace "I love you too. But if you cheat on me again I will kill you" 

Na fada ba wai dan ina nufin hakan ba, dan kawai ya zama kamar warning a gurinsa. Sai ya saki hannun kofar ya dawo ya kama hannu na yace "abinda ya faru is the greatest mistake of my life, and it will never happen again. Nayi miki wannan alkawarin kinji?" Na gyada kai kawai ina jin kamar zanyi kuka. Sai ya mike ya fita.

Na tashi nima na shiga toilet da sauri saboda tunanin da nayi cewa Yasmin zata iya tashi any moment. A ranar sai na samu irin addu'ar da zanyi masa a gurbin da kullum nake masa addu'a a cikin sallolina, da nakan yi masa addu'ar budi da kariya da kuma karin zaman lafiya a tsakanin mu. Yanzu kuma sai na fara yi masa addu'ar neman tsari daga sharrin shaidan ya kuma tsayar dashi akan tafarki madaidaici. 

A ranar da yamma Mufida tazo. Tunda tazo ta saka ni a gaba da mita wai nayi tafiya ba tare da nayi mata sallama ba. "Ni wallahi da cewa nayi ma na daina zuwa gidan ku tunda kuka wulakanta ni, ke kika yi tafiyar ki baki gaya min ba duk da cewa tare muke kwana a gidan daya a daki daya a gado daya, shi kuma mijinki na dawo daga makaranta ina tambayar sa inda kike ya balbale ni da masifa, nace ya zo ya kaini gida ma sai ya nemi ya gaya min magana........." 

Ta cigaba da surutun ta ni kuma na cigaba da ayyuka na dan yau abinci na musamman nake son hadawa mijina, duk inda nayi tana bina tana cigaba da surutu da mita har sai data gaji dan kanta sannan kuma ta fara mitar nayi shiru na rabu da ita. 

Na juyo ina kallon ta "to me kike so ince miki? Tafiya ta kama ni kuma ba kya kusa lallai sai na kira ki na sanar da ke? Kuma inda naje babu network shi yasa layina kira baya shiga" 

Ta kawo kujera ta zauna a kitchen din tace "well, idan da ace ban san ku ba ke da yaya Doctor, idan da ace ban san irin soyayyar da kuke yiwa junan ku ba da sai in ce fada kuka yi kika yi yaji. But that would have been rediculous ko?"

Na ajiye wukar hannuna na juyo ina kallon ta, "and what makes you think that?" Ta gyara zama "okay na farko, yadda ranar kike ta daukin dawowar mijinki babu yadda za'a yi ki kirkiri tafiya kuma immediately bayan zuwansa, na biyu kuma the way I know you, yadda baki taba zuwa dangin Umma ba in zaki je sai kin cika gari da sanarwar, in kuma kinje din ko da ba zaki iya kiran mu ki bamu labarin zuwanku da abubuwan da kika gani a can ba to tabbas zaki dauki pictures ki turo mana mu gani. Na uku, bayan tafiyar ki Mama ta kira wayar Umma kuma sun gaisa ba tare da ta gaya mata wani abu mai kama da cewa kunyi tafiya ba" 

Na harde hannayena a kirjina ina kallon ta nace "what do you want?" Tayi murmushi "the truth. Aunty ma tace ta fi tunanin yaji kika yi amma Mama tace ba yaji bane ba" nace "idan kuma bana son yin maganar fa?" Ta daga kafada ta mike tsaye "shikenan, sai in ce in tayi tsami maji" sai ta fita

Na cigaba da aiki na a raina nace kar Allah ya kawo min ranar da zata yi tsamin ma ballantana a ji. A hankali nace "in tayi tsamin ma zan saka mata kanwa da baking powder"

Sai kuma nayi shiru ina lissafi, wato yan gidan su sun fahimci akwai wata magana a kasa, kuma dalilan da Mufida ta jero min suna da ma'ana amma a cikin su babu wanda yaje gidan mu ya tambaya ko kuma ya tambaye ni, sai yanzu da surutun Mufida ya saka na fahimci sun sani, idan babu ita they will just keep pretending basu sani ba.

But maybe it is for the best 

Maybe not.....

Bayan Umar ya dawo gida ne naga ya saka ta a gaba yana mata fadan karatu, a lokacin ne na fahimci dalilin zuwan ta ashe Mama ce ta turo ta wajensa dan ya bincike ta yaji dalilin da yasa result dinta na wannan semester din da suka gama bai yi kyau ba bayan kuma tunda ta fara komai nata yana tafiya dai dai. 

Yayi mata fada sosai, ya kuma yi ta tambayar ta ko tana da wani problem ne a school ko a gida duk tace masa a'a, sai kuma ya tambaye ta ko ta fara samari ne a school din nan ma tace a'a, sai yayi mata warning idan ta kuma kawo result mai munin wannan za'a chanja mata course a mayar da ita level one ta fara daga farko.

Ta gama kumbure kumburen ta ta tashi ta shiga daki, sai bayan ta shiga ne ya nuna min result din nata a cikin system din sa, C guda daya babu zancen A ko B, har da F guda biyu, abinda Mufida bata taba samu ba tunda ta fara karatu. Kuma ni nasan ko a secondary school ba dakikiya bace ba duk da dai ba za'a saka ta a sahun masu kokari sosai ba.

Sai ya tambaye ni a matsayi na a aminiyarta ko ta gaya min wani abu da yake damunta? Amma ni ban san wani abu yana damunta ba, sai ya tambaye ni nima zancen saurayi shima nace masa ban sani ba, amma sai nace "ko saurayin ne tayi ba lallai ne ta gaya min ba, saboda ta san zan gaya maka, ina ganin abinda zamuyi shine a samu wani ko wasu a ce su saka ido a kanta a school din, kuma kai ma ka ringa samun lokaci kana shammatar ta kana zuwa, in har an fahimci saurayin ne yake hana ta karatu ina ganin ayi mata aure shi yafi, in yaso ta karasa karatun a gidan mijinta" 

Ya gyada kai cikin fahimta, amma duk ransa ya baci sai kallon result din yake yana tsaki har sai dana zo na dauke masa hankali daga kan maganar sannan ya saki fuskar sa, wannan ya kara tabbatar min da son da Umar yake yi wa yan uwansa.

Sabon babin soyayya muka bude a gidan mu, dan ni a gurina zan iya cewa kulawar da Umar yake bani a lokacin ta ma fi wadda ya bani lokacin ina amarya, kuma na alakanta haka ne da cewa yana kokari ne gurin goge min abinda ya faru daga zuciyata. Nima kuma na cigaba da faranta masa a ciki da kuma wajen bedroom, ko Umar bai neme ni ba ni zan neme shi da kaina kuma zai karbe ni hannu bibbiyu ya kuma nuna min soyayya tare da yaba min, ban taba ganin wani abu daga gare shi ba ko kuma inji wani abu daga bakinsa ba da zai nuna kamar na gaza ta wani bangaren, komai lafiya lafiya.

Amma duk da haka ban saurara ba, duk wani abu da naji an fada a media ko kuma a school a cikin kawaye cewa yana karawa mata ni'ima ko kuma ƙarfin sha'awa in dai nayi tunani da ilimi na naga abin bashi da illa sai na gwada sha, wadansu inji sunyi min abinda nake bukata sai in cigaba da amfani da su wadansu kuma injibasu yi ba sai in daina. Duk a kokari na na ganin nayi satisfying Umar kuma nayi matching dinsa a karfin sha'awa. Bayan kayan da Aunty ta kawo mim sun kare ma ni da kaina na karbi number din matar da take siya a gurinta muka fara magana da ita ta WhatsApp kuma take aiko min da duk wani latest maganin mata, in na gwada wannan baiyi min ba sai ta bani wani ta ce in gwada shi, kuma duk ina sha ne ba wai dan ni ba dan ni kam alhamdulillah dai dai nake jin komai, ina sha ne dan Umar, duk da ba wai ina ganin chanji bane dagagare shi ba Kuma alhamdulillah as far as I know komai yana tafiyar mana dai dai.

Sai dai wani abu gida daya shine.......

Tunda abin nan yafaru na kasa cire zargin Umar daga zuciyata duk da cewa baya taba bani wani reason da zai saka in zarge shi ammadai still.......duk sanda ya fita yayi dare sai na tambayi kaina ina yaje? Duk sanda naga yana waya da wanda ban fahimci ko waye ba sai na tambayi kaina ko macece? Duk sanda aka kira shi a waya kuma naga ya dauki mota ya fita sai inji kamar in bishi in ga inda za shi. 

Amma ban taba furta masa ba, sai dai na saka ido sosai a kansa. 

A haka watanni suka tura har shekara ta zagayo.

A cikin shekarar  abubuwa da dama sun faru, na farko anyi bikin Muhibbat mun kaita Adamawa in da mijinta yake aiki. Sannan kuma anyi bikin Bashir da Surayya. 

A lokacin na fahimci abinda yasa naga banbanci tsakanin yadda Umar yake treating dina da kuma yadda Bashir yake treating Surayya, auren hadi ne, Maman sa ce ta hada su saboda tayi tayi ya samu mata yayi aure yaki shine ta hada su da yar kanwarta. 

Farkon auren nasu babu abinda ya dame ni da Surayya, amma da ga baya Umar yayi tayi min naci akan in ja ta jikina dan Allah ko ba muyi kawance ba ya kasance akwai mutunci sosai a tsakanin mu saboda kasancewar su mazajen mu abokan juna, sai na fara kulata kuma sai naji dadin hakan dan tana da hankali sosai da nutsuwa, tana kuma da ilimin addini mai zurfi kuma tayi diploma amma yanzu Bashir bai barta ta cigaba da karatu ba ita kuma ta hakura, tace as far as yana sauke dukkan hakkokin aure bata da wani bukatar karatu kuma ballantana aiki. Ban musa mata ba tunda ra'ayin ta ne, amma ni a ra'ayi na dukkan kyautatawar da mijina yake min in dai har ya barni ba zan ki yin aiki in nemi na kaina ba.

Gidan su katoto, dan yafi namu girma tunda Bashir yafi Umar kudi kuma baban shi ma yafi na Umar kudi. A hankali a hankali sai muka fara zama tamkar aminai ni da Surayya, tunda yanzu Mufida ta zama in law dina ba kowacce magana nake iya gaya mata ba.

Wani abun da ya kuma faruwa a shekarar shine shiga makarantar Farhan. Wannan abin ya bawa kowa a family din mu mamaki amma fa ba karamin kai ruwa rana aka yi da Abba ba kafin ya barta ta tafi din, sai da Hajiya ta hado masa duk wadanda ta san zai iya jin maganar su suka roke shi sannan ya nema mata College of education kumbotso ta fara zuwa. Problem din Farhan har yanzu shine rashin tsayayyen saurayi, samarin suna zuwa, amma kusan duk bana gaske bane ba, ita kuma tunda Abba ya saka ta a gaba da maganar aure dan haka duk wanda yazo kwana biyu sai tafara yi masa maganar aure shi kuma sai ya gudu. 

Sai na zaunar da ita nabata shawara "ki cire maganganun Abba da threats din sa daga ranki. Take your time, idan saurayi yazi ki bashi time ku fahimci juna tukunna kafin ma ki yanke shawarar if you want to marry him. Dan wani maybe da gasken yake ma amma da yaga kin nuna masa a matse kike sai yayi wa abin mummunar fassara ya gudu" 

Tace "dan baki san abinda Abba yake cewa ne ba, cewa fa yayi a karshen shekarar nan zai aura min Alhaji Mansur abokin sa" 

Nayi dariya "to sau nawa yana wadannan threats din, ji nake ranar nan ma cewa yayi zai yi cigiya a masallaci in da mai son ki yazo ya aure ki kuma baiyi din ba? Kuma ma in ya aura miki Alhaji Mansur din menene? Sai kiga kinji dadin zama da shi albarkar biyayya" ta ture ni ta mike "bakin ki ya sari danyen kashin da nayi dazu, wato ke kin auri saurayi kyakykyawa mai kudi ni kuma in auri tsoho ko?" 

Nayi shiru ina murmushi "ba a nan take ba Farhan, jin dadin aure ba anan yake ba" sai naji kamar in gaya mata problem dina amma sai na fasa, ba wai dan ban yarda da ita ba sai dan ina kyautata zaton Umar zai cika min alkawarin da yayi na cewa ya daina, in haka ne kuma fadar bata da amfani kenan.

Abu na hudu daya faru a shekarar shine kammala karatu na na nursing da nayi, wanda zance da kyar ya samu kammaluwa da taimakon Allah da taimakon Umar. And he celebrated me ranar dana gama din.

Sai abu da biyar kuma na karshe kuma mafi muhimmanci a gurin mu, na kuma samun wani cikin.

Watan Yasmin goma sha daya a duniya na samu cikin Asad. Ba zan iya banbance wanne daga ciki Umar yafi nuna murnar sa a akai ba, yayin da ni kuma nayi ta shagwaba ta tare da cewa sunyi kusa da juna "ko shekara biyu fa ba zata yi ba za'a yi mata kani ko kanwa, tayi kankanta da yawa. Nima kuma ban huta ba wallahi,har yanzu fa ban gama warkewa ba" 

Yayi dariya "inji wa ya gaya miki hakan? Tunda har kika samu ciki to jikin ki ya nuna cewa ya warke and it is ready for another journey" na bata rai "to masanin jikin yan Adam, zuciya ta bata shirya ba, sai ka gaya min kuma in bayan gynaecology har psychology ka karanta" yace " ni tawa zuciyar ta shirya, akwai spaces da yawa da zan saka dukkanin yaya in dai har daga cikin ki zasu fito" ya fada yana shafa cikin nawa yana lumshe ido, na ture hannun "to ba sai ayi transfer ba, kai a mayar da cikin jikin ka tunda kai kana so?" Yace "da ace za'a iya da na karba. Amma kuma fa in na haihu ba zan baki ki dauka ba tunda kin ce ba kya so" 

Sai ya turo ciki yana dafe baya wai irin yadda masu ciki suke tafiya, na kyalkyale da dariya "lallai ubangiji yasan halittar sa da bai bawa maza ciki ba, chafdi, ka ganka kuwa? Ko kyau?" Ya harare ni "sai ma nazo labor tukunna, imagine muryar namiji yana nishin haihuwa" duk mukayi dariya tare sai ya zagayo ta bayana ya daga ni chak yace "I can't carry the pregnancy for you but I can carry you. Duk inda zaki je sai in ke daukan ki ke da cikin gabakidaya" na juya idona "har gaban Baba?" yace "har gaban Mama" nace "har gaban Abba?" Yace "har gaban Umma" nayi dariya ina zagaye hannayena a wuyansa "ai kuwa da cewa zatayi a hada mu duk mu biyun a kai mu dawanau a bamu gado" yayi dariya shima yana goga hancinsa akan nawa. 

Sannan yace "now I am looking forward to the taste of pregnant you" na bude ido "menene da pregnant me din?" Ya kashe min ido "wetter, sweeter. Ni ko yanzu zan fara tasting din ne?" Na dora bakina a kan nasa "you are welcome Sir".

Sabanin cikin Yasmin, cikin Asad yazo da challenges da dama dan kusan fiye da rabin watannin cikin a kwance nayi su. Ba wai laulayi ne nake yi ba, a'a, cikin Yasmin ma yafi laulayi akan wannan sai dai shi wannan din kamar baya son ya zauna ne dan a cikin first trimester ta sau biyu ina samun attempted miscarriage, wanda da taimakon Allah da kuma kasancewa ta matar Dr Umar ya saka cikin yake tsayawa, sai ya bani bedrest, muka kuma tattara zancen fara aiki na gabakidaya muka ajiye a gefe muka ce sai na haihu tukunna. 

Shi kuma ya shiga hidimar jinya ta, Mama ta aiko aka dauki Yasmin ta yaye ta duk da ba haka naso ba, naso ta danfi haka girma amma Mama tace wahalar zata yi min yawa. Sai Umma kuma ta roki Abba ya bar Amira wadda tayi candy a wannan shekarar ta taho gidana, sai ga Mammy ta biyo ta sun taho tare, daga gidan su Umar kuma sai ga Ummi nan wadda take ss2 kuma sun yi hutu a lokacin. Gidana sai ya koma kamar dandalin yammata. 

Duk sai nace su hadu su zauna a guest room, ni mostly ina dakin Umar ina kwance sai dai in na gaji da kwanciya inzo falo mu zauna muyi hira dasu in koma, Umar kuma baya wuni a gida sosai, dan yanzu cigaba yake kara samu abubuwa suna kara yi masa yawa. In yazo da daddare zamu zsuna tare a falo muyi hira muci dinner sometimes muyi kallo shikenan mu shige ciki. 

A lokacin na lura tasu tazo daya da Mammy, tun da ya fahimci sunanta Maryam shikenan yake bata special care yana ce mata daughter saboda sunan Yasmin ne da ita, ita kuma sai take ce masa Daddy, duk abinda tace tana so kuwa zai siyo mata yace ai daughter din sa ce ita kuma sai naga ta fara over using wannan, har in ya fita office ta kan dauki waya ta kira shi ta fada masa abinda take so ya siyo mata. 

Ni farko ban ma san inda ta samu number dinsa ba sai da ritsa Amira na tambaye ta sai ta gaya min a wayarta ta dauka. Ban ce musu komai ba dan bana son jan maganar duk da cewa ban jin dadin abin, amma sai na yi dabara na dauki wayar Umar kamar ina yin wani abu na nemo number din ta naga yayi saving  da "dota" sai nayi blocking number din sannan na goge ta. 

Tun daga nan ban kuma jin su suna waya ba, sai dai naji tana masa mitar wai in ta kira shi bata shiga, shi kuma sai yace mata baisan dalili ba. But ya gane abinda nayi, sai yayi min magana a daki.

"Kinyi blocking number din yarinyar can a wata ta, why?" Na juyo ina kallon sa "bana son kana waya da ita ne" yayi dariya "kishi kishi kishi. She is your niece for God's sake. I was just being nice to her" na bata rai "banaso. Tana da rawar kai sosai. Kuma bana so inyi mata magana tunda kasan yadda muke da Hajiya kar taji haushi nayi wa jikar ta fada" 

Ya bata rai "to ni naji haushi" na bude ido "haushin me?" Yace "you should have talked to me, ki gaya min abinda yake ranki ba wai ki dauki phone dina kiyi blocking dinta kamar irin baki yardada ni din nan ba" 

Na sunkuyar da kaina ina jin ban kyauta masa ba nace "sorry" yayi murmushi "it is okay. Ya wuce. Ina so kawai muke zama open to each other kinji?" Na gyada kai

Halin da ciki na yake ciki bai rage komai daga kwadayin Umar a kaina ba sai dai ya zama very gentle ba kamar yadda yake da ba, ya koma very careful akan yadda yake tafiyar da ni a gado da kuma a sauran al'amura, dan da gaske yana son cikin nan.

Har sai da cikin ya kara girma sannan na daina bedrest din, na fara tashi ina aiyukan gida, lokacin ne kuma Ummi da Mammy duk suka koma gidajen su sai Amira aka bari ta cigaba da kama min aiyukan gida, sannan kuma aka dawo da Yasmin ita ma gida.

Komai ya cigaba da tafiya lafiya har cikina ya shiga wata bakwai, sai na sake wani bleeding din har bakin mahaifa ya bude, sai Umar ya sake bani wani bedrest din yana so cikin ya kara girma ko wata takwas ne yayi sai a barshi ya fito.

A lokacin ne kuma abin ya faru.....

Ranar tun da Umar ya fita ina kwance a dakin sa ina kallo a system din sa, shi ya saka min movies din saboda su debe min kewa kar in ce zan tashi inyi wani aiki. Ina yi ina duba agogo, dan bana so ya dawo ya tarar dani yadda ya barni ban tashi nayi wanka nayi masa kwalliya ba. Daga inda nake ina jiyo motsin Amira da Yasmin a falo suna harkokin su.

Na kira shi a waya kamar yadda muka saba, shima da aka jima ya kira ni a lokacin yake gaya min yau ba zai jima ba dan almost ya gama, zuwa 2 zai dawo gida. 

Bayan mun gama wayar naji ina jin bacci sai na saka alarm 1 sannan na kwanta, ina kwanciya kuwa bacci ya dauke ni. 

Cikin baccin naji ana shafa fuskata, na bude ido duk da dai already nasan shine, yayi min murmushi nima na mayar masa "hey Baby" nace "hey" sai kuma na bata rai ina kallon agogo "ya akayi ka dawo yanzu? Kai da kace sai 2 gashi ko 1 bata karasa ba? Har fa da alarm na saka dan in tashi inyi maka kwalliya kafin kazo" 

Yace "to laifine dan miji yaji yana son yazo gurin matarsa kuma ya katse komai ya taho?" Na tura baki "ni bana so ka ganni babu kwalliya" yayi dariya yana karkata kai kamar me kare min kallo yace "au dama baki yi kwalliya ba? Na dauka ai daga gurin gasar sarauniyar kyau kika dawo" nayi dariya tare da mintsinin shi a kwuibi, ya mike tsaye yana dariya shima. 

Yanzu ba ganin ki nake yi sosai ba, bara in shiga in yi wanka in fito sai infi gane ko kinyi kwalliyar ko baki yi ba" ya karasa yana kashe min ido, na gane mai yake nufi sai kawai nayi murmushi,yaje ya rufe kofar dakin ya dawo sannan ya fara cire kayansa yana yi yana humming waka har ya gama ya shiga toilet.

Sai na lumshe ido na ina murmushi sai kuma na bude ina kallon dakin, something doesn't feel right, something doesn't smell right. 

Ni tun asali na ina da high sense of smell, ballantana kuma in ina da ciki sense of smell din nawa yakan ninka na da yadda komai kankantar wari sai na jishi kuma komai kankantar kanshi sai na jishi. Yanzu kuma I smell something, some familiar scent wanda na saba da jin sa amma it doesn't feel right a yanzu, wani smell ne wanda yake special, kuma related to only Umar.

Na tashi zaune ina sake baza hanci, na rasa dalilin da yasa na damu. But zuciyata ba zata barni in huta ba har sai na fahimci kamshin menene wannan. And it dawn on me. It is the familiar scent of semen.

Na mike da sauri kamar wadda akayi wa allurar wartsake wa, na dauki kayan da Umar ya cire yanzu na fara shanshana wa kamar wata tababbiya, akwai kamshin turaren sa sannan akwai wannan smell din da nake ji, na ajiye kayan sannan na dauki shorts dinsa daya cire tare da kayan, gaba na yana faduwa, hoping I was wrong, but I wasn't, ina budewa naga abinda nake nema a jiki. 

Na sake shi ya fadi kan sauran kayan, sannan na lallaba na zauna a bakin gado ina kokarin tsayar da numfashi ba. Zuciya ta ta fara bashi uzuri "kar ki zargi mijinki Jidda, watakila yayi bacci a office din and had a wet dream which is entirely natural" 

Na girgiza kaina, ita kanta zuciyar ta wa da take gaya min hakan ta san cewa hakan ba gaskiya bane ba, tana fada min ne kawai a kokarin ta na kare abin son ta. Ni kuma ina son sanin gaskiya, ina son in san gaskiya ko da kuwa zata yi hurting dina ne.

Ido na ya sauka akan wayarsa da ya ajiye akan bedside drawer, na mika hannu na na dauka ina kallon kofar toilet din sannan na kuma kallon wayar, it may hold the answer to my question. 

Na san pin din wayarsa tun farkon auren mu, bai taba boye min ba kamar yadda bai taba hana ni taba masa waya ba sai dai ni kuma ban taba daukan nata da niyyar bincike ko bin kwakwkwafin sa ba sai yau, saboda tun kafin auren mu na riga na saka a raina cewa yana da damar yin budurwa da kuma damar kara aure a duk lokacin da yaso, bana so in ga hirar soyayyar sa da wata har in yi kishi shi yasa bana dubawa.

But this time is different.........

This time so nake inji inda ya samu abinda nagani a wandon sa.

Na duba call history dinsa na ga nice last person da ya yi waya da ita, na lissafo social media din da yafi zama active, WhatsApp ne da instagram, hardly yake facebook. Whatsapp din na gani a farko dan haka nan na fara dubawa. Akwai chats da yawa, mostly kuma unsaved numbers ne, except for number din Bashir da na gani a matsayin last person da yayi wa magana a WhatsApp din, har na wuce shi kuma sai ma dawo, something caught my attention, last maganar da Umar yayi masa which was about 30 minutes ago. 

"Shit! I just mess my pants" 

Na saka karanta maganar and it doesn't make sense to me, me yake nufi da hakan? 

Sai na danna chat din na bude hirar su, maganganu ne da yawa kuma dazu suka yi, nayi scrolling up dan in samu farkon hirar yadda zan fi gane abinda suke magana akai and I saw a picture, picture din da ya kusan saka wa wayar ta fado daga hannu na.

Hoton kirjin mace ne tsirarar sa, Bashir din ne ya turo wa Umar with the caption "bismillah"

Sai Umar ya bashi amsa, suka yi hira kamar haka


OMG! That looks delicious 😋😋😋

I just had it😛

Yanzu haka alkawari yace? Babu ko daga hannu? Kuna ina?

Shegen duniya, dama nasan ba ka wuce tayi shi yasa nayi maka. 

Kuna ina dan Allah

Ina gidan gonar Daddy, she just left after completely servicing me🤪🤪🤪

😞😞😞😞. Kuma baka yi min magana ba sai da ta tafi? Bayan kai da kanka ka fada cewa ba na wuce tayi? 

😅 Shegen duniya, in kana so sai in kira ta yanzu ta dawo dan bata yi nisa ba, kuma bata gajiya😋😋😋😋

Kira ta ta dawo please, gani nan zuwa.

Amma fa sai ka bude aljihu, dan ta karo wulakanci kamar yadda ta karo dadi😝😋

Kasan bani da kudi fa😥😥. Kasan dai haihuwa za'a yi min kwanan nan ko? Ka biya min please

🙄🙄. Ni an gaya maka kudin banza ne da ni da zan biya maka kudin pussy? If you want it you pay for it.

Her skin looked so beautiful, I like her kind of skin

Kai ka sani kuma, munafiki.

Allah ya isa na

🤪🤪🤪🤪🤪

Now I have to go home.

🤷🏻‍♂️

Shit! I just mess my pants.


*Asad*

Bayan na kai karshen hirar ta su sai na sake komawa farkon hirar na saki bi, taking in all the details har na kuma kawowa karshe, sai na sake komawa na kuma kallon hoton realising cewa nonon matar guda daya yayi a hada nawa biyu har da kari duk kuwa da cewa ina da ciki.  Na fita daga hirar na ajiye masa wayarsa a inda ya ajiye.

Sai kuma na mike, na dauki hijab dina da nake bari a dakinsa saboda sallah na saka, na fita daga dakin na shiga dakina na dauko purse dina da key din mota sannan na fita falo, Amira ta juyo tana kallona da goyon Yasmin a bayan ta "Yaya? Ina zaki je?" Ba tare da na tsaya ba nace "ki kula da Yasmin, ina zuwa" ta bini da kallo fuskar ta dauke da mamaki har na fita na bude motata wadda da ita Umar ya fita a ranar, nayi mata key na bar gidan.

Na dade da sanin ana cewa idan wani abun ya same ka hankalin ka yakan gushe kayi dan karamin haukan da baka san kayi ba, ban taba yarda ba sai da abin yazo kaina. Zuciyata ta zama wani irin blank ta kasa tunamin komai ta kasa yanke min wsta shawara ta kasa bani damar inyi tunani, watakila kuma ta daina aiki ne a lokacin gaba-daya. Sai dai kwakwalwa ta ta haddace dukkan maganganun da suka gudana tsakanin Umar da abokin sa Bashir, kuma ta haddace hoton da Bashir ya turo wa Umar, hoton da har ya saka shi ya bata wandon sa.

Wani store din da ake siyar da kayan kwalliya zuciyata ta aiyana min inje, ni kaina ban san ne take so inyi ba, na shiga na tafi gurin attendant din gadan gadan, duk mutanen gurin suna kallona saboda girman cikina kuma da yadda na ke a hargitse, na tsaya a gabanta nace "ina son ki bani mai da sabulun da zasu saka in zama fara tas kamar waccan matar" na fada ina nuna matar jikin wani hoton tallan mai, matar da nake ganin zata yi kusan haske daya da matar hoton da aka turowa Umar. 

Ta juyo ta kalle ni "Hajiya already kina da hasken ki dai dai gwargwado, kalar fatarki ma ai tafi ta waccan din kyau" nace "baya son tawa kalar, irin waccan yake so. Zaki siyar min ko ba zaki siyar min ba?" Ta bini da wani irin kallo sannan naga ta dauko min wani set din mayuka da sabulu, ta gaya min kudin ban ma tsaya sauraron ko yayi yawa ba na dauko ATM card na mika mata dan Umar baya taba barin account dina babu kudi ko da kuwa babu abinda zanyi da shi. 

Ta saka min a leda ta bani, har nayi gaba ta biyo ni ta miko min ATM card din dana taho na bar mata a gurin ta. Na fita na kuma komawa motata na juya gida, ni kaina bansan yadda akayi nayi tukin ba but am sure mutane da yawa sun zage ni a hanya.

Na shiga gida nayi packing. Amira ce ta fito da sauri idonta a waje "yaya?ina kika je wai? Yaya Doctor ya fito yana nemanki ashe bai san kin fita ba,  ya hau mota ya bi bayan ki" "to" nace mata sannan na wuce ban kula Yasmin da take ta miko min hannu tana so in dauke ta ba. Naji Amira tana waya kamar shi take gaya wa na dawo

Dakina na tafi, na zazzage kayan a kan gado na dauki sabulun sannan na cire kayana ina humming waka kamar yadda yake yi, na gama na shiga wanka, ina cikin wankan naji shigowar motar sa, na zauna zaman dirshan a bandakin nayi ta dirzar fata ta wai lallai sai ta koma irin wadda Umar yace yana so. Sai dana yi exhausting dukkan karfina sannan na fito daure da towel ina kuma goge jikina da wani towel din. 

Ina fitowa na ganshi ya tisa kayan da na siyo a gaba yana kallo Yasmin a zaune akan cinyarsa, na kalle su nace "hey" sai na cigaba da wakoki na ina goge jikina.

Ya ajiye Yasmin ya mike tsaye "Jidda, ina kika fita kika je? Daga bara in shiga wanka in fito sai ki dau mota ki fita? What has come over you? Kin manta halin da kike ciki ne?" Na kalle shi "shopping naje" ya yamutsa fuska "shopping? Wanne irin shopping? Menene wannan kika siyo? Idan kina bukatar cream ne ba sai ki gaya min in na fita in siyo miki ba?" 

Nace "sorry my dear husband, bukatar da nake musu ta gaggawa ce shi yasa na fita" na dauki roba daya a cikin robobin set din dana siyo sannan ba tare da na tsaya dubawa ko cream ne ko scrub ba na fara matsawa ina shafawa a jikina, ya rike hannuna "Jidda look at me, me yake damun ki ne wai" his face looked genuinely concerned. 

Na tsaya ina kallon sa, ina jin ganin fuskar sa yana sakawa numfashi na yana tsayawa a iyakacin kirjina kamar yadda yake min idan zan samu attack, fuskar sa tayi min baki, wata irin tsana da kyamarsa tana shiga duk lokunan da soyayyar sa take ciki. Na kwace hannu na daga nasa da karfi nace "kana so kasan inda naje? Mai naje siyowa, man bleaching......" Yace "what?" Nace "eh man bleaching na siyo saboda ina son in zama fara, ina son fata ta ta koma irin wadda kafi so" 

Naga yanayin fuskarsa ya chanja amma still ya sake pretending "what? Me kike nufi da irin fatar da nake so? Wacce iri ce fatar da nake so" sai na saka hannu a aljihunsa na dauko wayarsa, and I saw his face turned paper white, na bude na dubo hoton ba tare da ya motsa daga inda yake ba sannan na nuna masa "irin wannan fatar, irin ta nake so in koma" 

Har lokacin bai motsa ba kuma bai ce komai ba idonsa a akaina, sai na jefar da wayar kan gado ina jin duk emotions din da suka yi folding kansu inside me suna unfolding. Nace "girman nonon kuma a matsayin ka na gynae, na san zaka iya bani wani maganin da nawa zasu yi girman irin wadancan din, dan in zama irin wadda kake so din" 

Na fada numfashina yana kakkatsewa. Yayi taku biyu zuwa gaba na ya rike ni tare da saka bakin rigarsa yana goge min man dana fara shafawa a wuyana da kafada ta "inna lillahi wa inna ilaihir rajiun. Hasbiyallahu wa nieemal wakeel. Jidda that wasn't real. Dan kinga hoto a wayata shine zaki tayar da hankalin ki har haka? Har kina kokarin ki shafawa kan ki abinda zai cutar da ke?"

Na fara ture shi amma karfina kusan ya kare kamar yadda numfashi na ya kusan karewa. "Lier! Lier! Lier. Hypocrite! Ba hoto kadai na gani ba, hirar da aka turo hoton a cikin ta na gani, na kuma san dalilin da ya dawo da kai gida" 

Ya fara girgiza kansa "Jidda you are sick, listen to me, calm down, duk abinda kike tunani ba haka bane ba. Dan Allah ki kwantar da hankalin ki ki rufa min asiri kar wani abun ya same ki. Bashir ne fa! Kin san yadda muke da Bashir we were just kidding, wasa ne muke yi fa, none of what we said is real!"

Nace "wasa? Wasa fa kake cewa? Kar ka raina min hankali mana Umar? Wasan ne har ya saka ka bata wandonka?" Ya sake ni da sauri sannan ya rufe bakinsa da hannayensa, jikinsa ya fara rawa kamar yadda yake yi aduk sanda hankalin sa ya tashi irin wannan. "I saw it! I smell it on you then I saw it a cikin wandon ka. Shi yasa na duba wayarka kuma na tabbatar da kuma san abubuwa da yawa daban sani ba"

Na nuna shi da hannu ina jawo maganganun da suke tsaye a kirjina ina fito dasu daya bayan daya

"kazami! Mazinaci! Makaryaci! Mayaudari! Maci amana!"

Wasu taurari masu haske naga suna ta zazzagayawa a dakin, bayan hasken su kuma bana ganin komai sai duhu, na dafe kirjina dan tsakanin hunhuna da zuciyata ban san wanne ne yafi daukan zafi ba, and a thought cross my mind, this is the end of me. Dama Umar ne sanadiyyar mutuwa ta shi yasa Allah ya hada ni da shi kuma ya saka min tsananin soyayyar sa a raina.

Nasan dai jiri ya debe ni, sai kuma na jini a hannun Umar yana jijjiga ni yana kiran sunana da karfi, nayi kokarin bude idona dan in kalle shi sai kuma nayi realising ashe idon nawa a bude yake already gani ne dai baya yi. 

"Jidda! Na shiga uku! Jidda talk to me! Hit me please, ki dake ni Jidda ki zage ni just don't keep quiet"

A muryarsa sai naji kamar kuka yake sai dai bana iya ganin sa, na bude bakina da niyyar gaya masa sauran maganganun daban gama fada ba amma babu abinda ya fito sai sunan sa "Umar" and that was the last thing I said, and the last thing I heard. Sunan sa!

Sanda na farka ma fuskar sa na fara gani, sai dai ta chanja gabakidaya tayi jajawur idonsa ya kumbura. Yana tsaye a kaina yana magana amma bana jin abinda yake cewa kuma ban ga da wa yake maganar ba. Sai dai na fahimci a asibiti muke kuma na fahimci akwai oxygen mask a fuskata.

Na mayar da idona na rufe dan in na cigaba da kallon fuskar sa oxygen din ma ba zata yi min amfani ba.

Dana sake farkawa Mama na gani tana ta sharar kwalla, da wani abu a nannade a hannunta kamar dan jariri, na saka hannu a hankali na shafa ciki na sai naji babu, nayi kokarin saka daya hannun da in tabbatar sai na ji hannun a rike,na waiga side din sai na ganshi. 

Ya rike hannuna daya da dukkan hannayensa biyu sannan ya kifa kansa a kai. Ba zan iya sani ba ko bacci yake yi ko kuma idon sa biyu ba kuma ban damu da in sani din ba. Na saka dukkan karfin da nake dashi na karbe hannu na daya cikin nasa, ya dago kansa da sauri. 

"Jiddah" 

sai na mayarda idona na rufe dan in akwai abinda bana son gani a duniya ta a lokacin shine. Sama sama naji muryar Mama, ban san me take cewa ba har na kuma komawa unconscious. 

Farkawa ta uku da nayi babu mask din a fuskata kuma numfashi na yana fita sosai. Sai naji ni kamar wadda nayi wani dogon bacci sai dai jikina yayi wani irin nauyi kuma duk ciwo yake min, fatar cikina felt strange kuma kamar akwai wani abu daya makale min a cikin, na saka hannu zan taba inda naji abin sai naji an rike hannun nawa.

"Kar ki sosa Jidda"

Naji muryar Umma. Na bude idona na sauri na kalli inda naji muryar tata. Ita din ce kuwa, tana zaune akan kujerar gaban gadon marasa lafiya, "Umma!" Na kira sunan ta, ta rike hannuna "sannu Hauwa'u" naji motsi ta daya gefen nawa na juya sai naga Aunty Afia "Jidda! Alhamdulillah. Aira kira Umar maza, ki ce masa ta tashi" 

Ta dawo kusa da Umma "yana bakin kofa a zaune zaman dirshan a kasa, ga kujera amma yaki hawa ya zauna a kasa ya hada kai da guiwa"

Na rufe idona ina hango shi a yanayin da ake ce yana ciki, sai kuma na saka replaying hirarsa da Bashir wadda already kwakwalwa ta tayi scanning ta kuma yi saving a wani gurina musamman wanda ba zai goge ba. 

"Shegen duniya! Dama nasan kai baka wuce tayi shi yasa nayi maka"

"Her skin is so beautiful. Irin wadda nake so. Ka biya min please"

"Shit! U just mess my pants" 

Ban san hawaye ne suke biyo wa fuskata ba sai da na jisu suna shiga cikin kunnena sannan suna sauka kan pillown da nake kwance akai. 

"Innalillahi wa inna ilaihir rajiun" na fada cikin muryar kuka. Aunty ta rike hannuna "subhanallah, jiddah! Jidda me yake damunki? Ba zaki gode Allah ba! Mu da muka fara fitar da rai dake kuma sai gashi Allah ya dawo mana da ke? Kuma Allah mai kyauta da kari sai ya hada mana har da jaririn cikin ki duk lafiyar ku kalau? Me zamuyi wa Allah Jidda in ba godiya ba? In muka yi kuka ai kamar munyi masa butulci ne ko?" 

Na sake kai hannuna kan cikina. "Baby na, Aunty ina yake?" Sai ta zauna akan kujerar da Umma ta tashi ta cigaba da rikon hannuna sannan ta ce "jinin ki ne ya hau sosai Jidda. Unconscious Umar ya kawo ki asibitin nan, preeclampsia Umar ya ce mana, ga kuma asthma dinki da ta tashi ita ma a lokaci daya, dan haka dole akayi miki aiki aka fitar da babyn dan a ceci rayuwar sa, ke kuma aka ci gaba da baki treatment. Kwanan ki biyu kenan, sai yau numfashin ki ya dawo dai dai, sai yau ne kuma jinin ki ya fara sauka. Jiddah har mun fara fitar da rai da ke"

Ta karasa maganar cikin karyewar murya. Na juya kaina kan Umma naga tana sharar hawaye. A lokacin Umar ya shigo dakin kamar wanda aka jeho shi daga sama. 

"Jiddah!" Ya fada yana takowa zuwa gabana . Wani mugun kallon dana jefa masa ne yasa ya dakata sannan yayi taku biyu baya sai kuma ya juya da sauri ya sake fita. Aira da suka shigo tare ta bishi da kallo. 

Na dafe kaina da hannu na daya, "Umma kaina ciwo yake yi, ji nake kamar zai tsage" na fada ina kara yin wasu hawayen, amma a zahirin gaskiya ba wai kan nawane kadai yake ciwon ba, dan ciwon da nake ji a zuciyata yafi wanda nake ji a kaina. Ganin Umar ne kuma ya sake rura wutar ciwo na.

Aunty ta taya ni dafe kan nawa, ta juya tana kallon Aira "ina doctor din? Ki kirawo shi mana ko zaiyi mata wani abu? Ko zai kara rarrashin ta ma ta daina wannan kukan kar jinin ta ya kuma hawa" Aira ta sake juyawa sai na daga mata hannu "kar ki kira shi. Ki rabu da shi kawai" 

Umma tace "a rabu dashi? Saboda me? A kira shi mana ya ganki shima ko yaji dadi a ransa, kwana biyun nan bana jin yaron nan ya rintsa, anan bakin kofa yake wuni yana kwana kansa akan guiwowin sa" Aunty tayi murmushi "soyayyar Umar da Jidda ai sai Allah. Kuka fa yake yi, baya yi a gaban mutane amma kana kallon idonsa kasan kuka yake yi" Umma ta danyi dariya, da alama suna cikin jin dadi tare da murnar cewa yarsu tayi babban dace a gidan mijinta.

Na sake cewa "kar ki kira shi please" Aunty tace "shikenan Aira kar ki kira shi, kirawo Doctor Bashir abokinsa dan kullum shi yake taya shi zama" na  sake girgiza kai na "not that man please, bana son ganin Bashir" 

Umma ta bata rai "me yake damunki ne wai, dole a kira likita ya duba ki Jidda, ko dai a kira Bashir ko kuma mijinki" na rufe idona ina jin ciwon kan yana karuwa, "Umar, a kira Umar din".

Sai dai na rufe idona dan bana son ganinsa duk da ba zan iya hana shi shigowa ba. 

Naji muryarsa yana magana da su Mama, sai kuma naji kamshin turaren sa a kusa da ni. Ya jawo kujera ya zauna sannan ya kama hannuna ya rike 

"Jidda. Sannu kinji? Allah ya baki lafiya" naji Umma tace "ameen" ban dube idona ba ballantana in kalle shi, naji ya daura min abin auna bp a hannuna sannan ya auna, sai kuma ya saka min wani abu a kirjina, daga dukkan alamu bugun zuciya ta yake aunawa amma still ban kalle shi ba har ya gama. 

Sai kuma naji ya mike ya kama hannuna yana daura min drip sannan ya dafa goshina da hannun sa, ba zan iya banbance fatar waye tafi zafi a tsakanin mu ba. "Jiddah, talk to me please. Menene yake miki ciwo yanzu? Kiyi min magana please" naji muryar Aunty "kiyi magana mana? Ba naji kince kanki yana ciwo ba?" 

Na juya side din da yake sannan na bude ido na akan sa "kaina yana ciwo" na fada a hankali, "amma ciwon da nake ji a zuciyata yafi wanda nake ji a kaina. But I guess you know that already" 

Sai ya sauke idonsa daga cikin nawa, sannan ya dauko takarda yayi rubutu a ciki sai kuma ya mike "Umma bara in kawo mata drugs din nan, dama na ajiye su already" Umma ta bishi da "to, sannu Umar" Aunty tayi dariya "kai ma ina jin sai an kara maka ruwan" ya danyi murmushi ya shafa kansa sannan ya juyo ya kalle ni kafin ya fita.

Yana fita Aunty tace "in aka tashi kara masa kuma sai an hada da Maman sa,dan jiya anan na sameta ta zabga tagumi ta saka shi a gaba" Umma tayi dariya "ai na fahimci tana son shi sosai, son ne kuma ya shafi har Jidda da ƴaƴan ta, jaririn nan fa kafin a tafi dashi nursery da kyar ta bani shi na dauka" suka sake dariya "ohh Allah. Allah kasa sauran yayan mu mata su dace da mazaje kamar yadda Jidda ta dace"

Na rufe idona na juya kaina daga gare su a zuciyata nace "ba ameen ba, Allah duk mata na gari Allah ka raba su da mazaje irin Umar ya Rabbi"

Bai jima ba ya dawo, ya na ta rawar jiki ya ajiye magungunan da ya shigo dasu sai yayi kamar zai kama ni ya mikar dani sai kuma ya tsaya yana kallo na sannan yace "zaki iya tashi ki sha magani?" Na dauke kai na gefe, sai ya kalli aunty "ga magungunan ta nan, a batata sha please" 

Aunty ta karba sai ya kuma sunkuyo wa yana dafa goshina "kina jin sanyi ne, naji kamar jikin da zafi" "bana ji" na fada saboda Aunty da take kallo na, ya dan daga rigata kadan zuwa can kasan marata ya taba inda nake tunanin nan aka yanka aka dauko jaririna. Sannan ya kalleni "da ciwo?" Nayi banza dashi, sai ya daga murya yadda su Aunty zasu ji yace "da ciwo gurin?" Na girgiza kai na kawai, ya gama dube duben sa a gurin sannan ya tashi. Aunty tace "abinci fa? A bata ta ci?" Ya girgiza kai yana kallon ruwan daya daura min. "Ba lallai ne ta ji yunwa ba, amma in ta nuna tana ji din za'a iya bata" ya sake kallo na sannan ya fita.

Bai jima da fita ba yan gidan su suka zo kusan kaf din su banda Baba banda Muhibbat wadda bata gari. Nan da nan gurin ya rude da hayaniya, manya suna nasu wanda bai wuce zancen sabon mijin su ba da ni har yanzu ban kai ga gani ba. Su kuma yammatan suka dawo gurina suna ta min sannu da kuma bani labarai wadanda kusan dukkan su na irin rudewar da Umar yayi bani da lafiya 

"Mama! Mama ki zo ki taimaka min Jidda zata mutu. Mama na shiga uku nima mutuwa zanyi" 

Mufida ta fada tana kwaikwayon muryar sa tare da leka wa ko yana kallon ta. Muhsina tayi dariya "kin tuna rigimar su da Mama? Gashi fa sam baya cikin hayyacin sa amma wai babu wanda zai taba masa mata, babu yadda Mama bata yi da shi ba akan ya bar Doctor Bashir yayi mata aikin amma yaki yace shi zaiyi da kansa, Allah ya taimake mu bai hada da hannun jaririn ba" suka sake dariya su kadai ba tare da na taya su ba dannia gurina babu abin dariya a maganar ni ban ma ga abin burgewa ba a maganar dan a gurina munafurci ne, zai nuna wa mutane yana kishina a bayyane bayan a badini babu wani abu mai kama da kishi na a zuciyar sa, idan har yana kishina kuma ya damu dani to tabbas ba zai aikata abinda yake aikata wa ba. 

Na rufe idona ina tunanin abinda ya aikata din, ko kuma ince abinda yake aikatawa. Dan hirar su da Umar gabakidaya tana nuni ne da cewa ba ranar suka fara ba kuma ba'a ranar zasu daina ba dan tabbas sun riga sunyi zurfi a cikin abinda suke yi, bana jin ma a gurin su sun yarda da cewa abinda suke yi din ba dai-dai bane ba. 

Na tuna abinda ya faru akan Zuwaira da kuma alkawarin da Umar yayi min, nuna min da yayi cewa ya daina da kuma nunawa da yayi kamar cewa wancan din ma kuskure ne, ni kuma,the stupid me, believed him, forgive him and trusted him again. Wannan yasa wannan din yafi wancan yi min zafi, musamman realization na cewa tun a wancan lokacin shi da Bashir din rami suka hada baki suka haƙa suka binne ni a ciki. 

Na bude ido ina kallon jama'ar da suke dakin fuskokin su cike da fara'a da nishadi, su a ganin su they are celebrating me, su a ganin su taya ni farin ciki suke yi basu san cewa ni wadda suke tayawa din babu farin ciki ko kadan a zuciyata. 

But I still have a reason to smile ko?

Na juya ina kallon Mufida "kina da hoton babyn?" Ta bude ido "wai baki ganshi ba? Kyakykyawa in gaya miki har yafi yasmin kyau" ta dauko wayarya tana dubawa sannan ta nuno min hoton dan mitsitsin yaron da daga ganinsa kaga bakwaini da yar mitsitsiyar kyakykyawar fuskar sa, na shafa fuskar ta screen din wayar and I did smile duk da halin da zuciyata take ciki. 

"Yana nursery, amma nasan in yaya Doctor yaje zasu bashi shi ya kawo miki ki ganshi" sunan yaya Doctor din ya katse min murmushi na. Na mika mata wayar sannan na koma na kwanta. 

A lokacin nurse ta shigo 

"Doctor Umar yace a bawa mara lafiya guri dan tana bukatar hutu"

Auntyn su Mufida ta tafa hannu tana salati "la ha ila. Kiji marar kunyar yaro? Mu zai kora mu bar matarsa ta huta?" Mama ta shigar masa "ai da gaskiyar sake kuwa, wahalar da yarinyar nan ta sha ai tana da yawa kuma kinsan hayaniya tana saka wa jinin mutum ya hau ko da kuwa mai lafiya ne ballantana wanda dama bashi da lafiya" 

Aunty Afia ta mike "lallai Jidda yar gatan Mama, kaunar ta bi jini ko kara ma ba'a yi mana" Mama tayi murmushi tana kallona sannan ta taso tana ta ba goshina "duk abinda Umar yake so nima ina son sa, kuma Jidda yarinyar kirki ce daga mu har Umar muna jin dadin zama da ita" 

Sai ta fara yin gaba su kuma suka bi bayanta suna cigaba da maganar. ..

Dakin yayi shiru bayan fitarsu. Na rufe idona ina tuno kyakykyawar fuskar da na da na gani a hoto duk da dai har yanzu babu wanda yayi offering min ganin sa. 

Kamshin turaren sa naji, na bude idona na ganshi a tsaye a gaban gadon yana kallona as tall and as handsome as ever. Na juya kaina gefe, inajin idonsa tamkar wani mashi ne mai cin wuta da yake sukar zuciya ta. Sai kuma na sake juyowa ina kallon abinda yake hannun sa, jariri na ne, sai kuma na sake juyawa gefe, yace cikin sanyin murya "Asad ne yazo ya gaishe ki. Tunda yazo duniya bai ji dumin mommyn sa ba" ban juyo ba nace "ka ajiye min dana ka juya ka fita, bana son ganin ka".

Sai naji takun sa kamar ya juya, na juyo da sauri sai naga ya ajiye jaririn a gurin da aka tanada dan ajiye jarirai sannan ya dawo inda nake, na sake juya kaina "ka bani dana nace, ai ba kai ne ka haifar min shi ba" ya rungume hannunsa yana kallo na yace "well, technically ni na haifar miki shi tunda ni na ciro shi daga cikin ki" 

Ban ce komai ba sai ya cire min ruwan da ya kusa karewa sannan ya fara kokarin kama ni ya tashe ni, ya saka min pillow a bayana sannan ya koma ya dauko jaririn ya miko min shi. Na karba da sauri ina sauke ajjiyar zuciya, sannan na saka babban dan yatsa na na shafa yar mitsitsiyar fuskarsa da idanuwan sa suke a rufe, kirjinsa yana motsawa a hankali yana numfashi, sai naji kamar ban taba ganin jariri kyakykyawa irinsa ba. 

Umar yace "sato miki shi nayi kakanninsa basu gani ba, dan nasan in suka ganshi duk sai sun jagwalgwala shi kuma ba'a so ake yawan daukan sa" sama sama na jishi, hankalina yana kan kyakykyawan da na.

Zaman da umar yayi a kusa dani ya saka na dawo cikin hayyacina, na dawo reality din wacece ni kuma wa nake aure, wanene kuma baban jaririn da yake hannuna. 

"Ka tashi ka fita nace, bana son ganin ka nace" 

Sai ya dora hannunsa akan hannuna da yake rike da jaririn, idona ya sauka akan band dina da yake hannunsa for more than three years, da sauri na kama hannun na zare shi ina jin zuciyata tana kara zafi, nayi jifa dashi ta window nace "I can't even imagine you on top of another woman and still wearing that" 

Cikin rashin sa'a sai band din ya daki window frame ya fadi kasa bai fita wajen ba, Umar ya mike ya tafi inda yake ya dauka ya mayar da shi hannun sa sannan ya juyo yana kallo na "bana son muyi wannan maganar yanzu Jidda, baki da lafiya, bana son abinda zai kuma tayar miki da bacin rai dan ni kadai nasan tashin hankalin da na shiga a cikin kwana biyun nan"

Naji raina ya kara baci, it is soooo frustrating wanda ya aikata maka wannan abin kuma ya ke wani nuna kamar yafi kowa damuwa a kan ka, it would have been easier for me idan da ace Umar zai nuna halin ko in kula a kaina, dama da direct zan san gurin da zan ajiye shi amma wannan fuska biyun sai ya kasance ban san ma ina ne position dinsa ba.

Nace "you should have thought about that tun da ba yanzu ba, yanzu is already late na riga na fahimci abinda kayi, ko kuma ince abinda ka dade kana yi, ko kuma ince abinda kake kan yi" ya dawo ya zauna a inda ya tashi sannan ya saka dan yatsa yana shafa hannun Asad, 

Yace "really? Bana son muyi maganar nan yanzu kamar yadda na riga na fada miki, amma bara inyi miki wata tambaya guda daya. Na fahimci kin karanta hirar mu da Bashir amma bana jin kin fahimci abinda hirar ta kunsa" nace "na karanta, na kuma fahimci komai, na gane who you really are, dan haka yanzu na dai na tafiya cikin hudu but rather a cikin haske nake, tas nake ganin ka yanzu?"

Ya mike tsaye yana kallona, his calmness yana kara irritating dina yace "really? In dai har kin fahimta kenan kin fahimci dalilin da yasa na dawo gida kafin lokacin dana gaya miki zan dawo yayi" nace "sosai kuwa, ka dawo ne ka wanke najasar jikinka sannan ka sauke sha'awar daka dauko ta dalilin kallon tsiraicin wata a kaina" 

Yace "in har kin fahimci haka kin fahimci banje ba kenan, kin fahimci banyi abinda kike tunani ba kenan" nace "dan baka yi ba ranar hakan ba ya nufin ba ka yi, yanayin maganganun ku kawai ya tabbatar min da cewa kun saba aikata haka ko kuma ma abinda yafi haka, Allah ne kadai yasan irin girman kazantar da kuke aikatawa" 

Ya runtse idonsa ya bude "to kin tambayi kanki dalilin da yasa banje din ba?" Nace "you clearly said it ai a wajen, saboda baka da kudi kuma shi shugaban yan iskan duniyar yace ba zai biya maka ba" 

Ya daga gira "really? Ke kin yarda cewa bani da kudin da zan biya? Ke kin san nawa ne a cikin account dina a yanzu haka kin san kuma idan da naso yi din zan iya biyan ko nawa ne inyi din, ke kinsan haka amma Bashir bai sani ba, na gaya masa bani da kudi saboda bana son yi din, ba kuma na so in gaya masa hakan saboda wani dalilina" 

Na juya kaina gefe ina jera numfashi. Tabbas akwai isassun kudi a account dinsa dan last week yayi wa Baba complain din motar sa tana bashi problem kuma ya turo masa kudi masu yawan gaske yace ya chanja, a yanzu haka ma lissafin motar da zai siya da kudin yake yi kuma kudin suna cikin account dinsa, plus kudin da yake tarawa na shirin haihuwar Asad. 

Ya saka hannu ya juyo da fuskata muna kallon juna yace "yes, ya turo min hoton da ya tayar min da hankali na a matsayi na na namiji, wannan shi yasa na taho gida, na taho gurin ki ke Jidda matata. Idan da naso zan iya biya ya kirata ta dawo idan da naso zan iya cewa ya kira wata ko da ita ba zata zo ba amma ban so yi din bane shi yasa nace bani da kudi na kumace ya biya min saboda nasan in yaji shi zai biya min he will stop nagging me" 

Ya saki fuskata ya mike "zamuyi maganar kamar yadda na fada amma sai kin samu lafiya, ba lallai ki yarda ba saboda ni yanzu a gurin ki makaryaci ne kuma nasan nayi deserving duk abinda zaki kira ni da shi and more, amma ina son ki sani cewa Umar have changed alot for you,  ba lallai ki fahimci how much na chanza din ba amma ina ki sani cewa fiye da tunanin ki ne. I have changed for you. Because I love you"

Sai ya juya ya fita. 

Na runtse idona hawayena ya zuba akan yar mitsitsiyar fuskar jariri na.

Ga masu son siya zasu iya turo kudin su #300 zuwa wannan account din

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Nafisa Tafida Usman
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*wannan littafin na amana ne kar ki karanta idan baki siya ba, idan kuma kin siya dan Allah kar kiyi sharing, in kika yi kin ci amana kuma ke da Allah*

*Zahra*

Ban daga kai na kalle shi ba har ya fita ya rufe min kofa. Na sake bin hawaye na da yake zuba akan dan jaririn da bai ji ba bai kuma gani ba da kallo, sannan na saka hannu na dangwali hawayen na kalla kamar ban san menene ba. 

Kwakwalwa ta ta toshe, kaina ya cunkushe ya kasa yi min tunanin komai. Duk abinda Umar ya fada sounds right and it sounds good ga zuciya ta da dama neman abinda zata yi masa uzuri da shi take yi. But har yanzu akwai wani abu daya chak da yake tsaye a cikin kwakwalwa ta ya kasa kwanciya. Na rufe idona na sake jingina da jikin pillown da ya saka min a bayana ina jujjuya maganganun sa ina kuma yin filla filla da su ina so in samu inda zan samu wani rami da zan fake a ciki amma babu, ko ina a toshe yake babu hanyar bullewa. 

Na sake tariyo hirar su da Bashir a kaina,na kuma hada ta da bayanin Umar na sake fahimtar cewa komai ya zauna kamar yadda ya so ya zauna din. Sai dai yaki zama a kaina. A ina matsalar take ne......

Tun farkon haduwa ta da Umar zuwa wadannan shekarun da nayi tare da shi na fahimci abubuwa da dama a kansa amma wani abu guda daya yafi komai girma, he is smart, in nace smart ina nufin smart, kwakwalwar sa is very sharp dan har mamaki yake bani in yayi wani abu a lokuta da dama dan kansa yana ja fiyeda yadda nake tunani. 

Wannan shi ya saka ya iya tsara magana, ya kuma iya tsara karyar da zai kare kansa a duk lokacin da yayi laifi, irin karyar da ya ringa yi min a lokacin case din mu akan Zuwaira har sai da abin ya kai karshen bango sannan ya fito ya bude min gaskiya sannan muka samu nutsuwa ni da shi.

Wannan kuma shine abinda ya kasa fahimta, the more da zaiyi karya in dai har akwai an ounce of doubt a raina to zuciya ta ba zata yi settling ba har sai na gano gaskiya. And right now everything seems perfect except for one thing, and that thing is yanayin yadda suka yi magana da Bashir, normalcy din maganar su, tabbas ba ranar suka fara ba kuma ba wai sun jima ba suyi bane ba. They talked like suna magana ne akan normal thing like shopping ko office stuffs. Abinda ake yi yau da gobe. 

Yes, baiyi ranar ba kamar yadda ya fada kuma na tabbatar, amma hakan ba yana nufin baya yi bane ba, sai dai bani da yadda zanyi proving hakan to myself and to him.

Na goge hawaye na ina kallon fuskar da na, Umar yana so ya kashe ni ne da raina ba wani abu ba, kullum zaiyi fata-fata da zuciyata sannan kuma ya zauna ya dinke ta da kansa only for him to break it again. How much longer zan iya cigaba da tolerating this emotional turture? How much longer kafin in gane gaskiyar waye Umar kuma in samu solution din zama da shi?

But no one will understand ballantana har ya bani shawarar yadda zan bullowa lamarin, kowa kallo yake min kamar wadda nake aljanna yayin da sauran mata suke a wuta, babu wanda zai gane position dina sai idan ya samu kansa a cikin irin yanayin, abinda bana yi wa kowa fatan shiga.

Da daren ranar Bashir suka zo duba ni shida Surayya. Sai na fahimci cewa Umar bai gaya masa abinda ya faru ba in kuwa har ya gaya masa to kuwa tabbas shi din ba karamin marar kunya ba ne ba. Ban gaishe shi ba, Yace "ya jikin?" Sai dana dauki seconds biyar sannan nace "da sauki" sai naga yanayin sa ya chanja, mun saba magana freely da dariya, sai ya fita yace matar in ta gama ta same shi a waje. 

Ta dan jima min kadan sannan ta tafi, sai naji a raina ina tausayin ta, ina tausaya mana ni da ita amma ko kadan tunanin in gaya mata abinda na gani bai zo kaina ba.

Ba'a sallameni daga asibiti ba har sai ranar sunan Asad, a can gidan su Umar akayi masa yanka aka rada masa sunan Baba, Muhammad kamar yadda Umar ya riga yayi masa huduba da hakan. A cikin kwanakin nan na warke sosai, tun daga jikina har zuwa zuciyata ta dan sarara min, musamman saboda yadda Umar yake tsaye a kaina da kulawa da kalamai da nuna soyayya kamar wata gimbiyar mata. Kawaye na da yan uwana duk wanda yazo duba ni sai yayi min murna na samun miji kamar Umar, marasa aure suna yiwa kansu fatan kasancewa kamar ni, a cikin su babu ya Maryam, wadda zuwanta hudu a asibitin kuma duk zuwasai ta saka ni a gaba da zancen Umar tun ina murmushi har ta fara annoying dina sai da na samu Mufida ranar nan ta wanke ta tas sannan tayi fushi tace ba zata kara zuwa ba tayi tafiyar ta. 

Bayan an sallame ni mun koma gida Abba ya sake turo Hajiya ta zaunada ni, ita kuma kamar wancan lokacin ta taho da Mammy suka zauna tare, farko banji dadin zuwan nata ba amma sai na lura wanda banji dadin ba saboda shi ko a jikin sa, babu abinda yake hada shi da ita sai gaisuwa, ita ma kuma saboda lokacin tana zuwa makaranta basu yi hutu ba sai ya kasance ba zaman gida take yi ba, in ya dawo daga office shi kuma baya zaman palo saboda Hajiya, a dakin sa yake cin abinci anan kuma yake kallon sa.

Tsakani na da Umar tun da na dawo gida babu yabo babu fallasa musamman ta bangare na, na kasa sakar masa fuska kamar da duk kuwa da kokarin da yake ta yi min, nakan zauna inyi hawaye saboda takaicin haka, ina son mijina ina kuma son rayuwar mu ta dawo kamar da amma na kasa, na kasa cire maganganun sa da Bashir daga zuciyata. Sometimes I hated myself, ina fatan ina ma akwai wata addu'a da mutum zai iya yi wanda zata goge masa wani memory daga ransa, da ace da akwai dakuwa tabbas da nayi dan in manta dan kuma in mayar da mijina cikin zuciyata da kuma cikin jikina kamar yadda yake a da. 

It wasn't funny on Umar as well, gradually ya fara loosing wannan calmness din nasa da ya saka a kansa tun ranar dana farka na ganni a asibiti. Ba wai masifa nake masa ba ko kuma magana nake gaya masa ba, a'a ignoring dinsa kawai nake yi kamar baya duniyar. Zan hada masa abinci zan kuma gyara masa dakin sa da duk abinda nasan yana bukata daga gare ni, amma ba zanje dakinsa ba zanyi kwanciya ta a dakina, sai dai hakan shi bai hana shi biyoni zuwa nawa dakin ba, bana kuma hana shi idan ya shigo din kamar yadda bana hana shi dora hannunsa a jikina sai dai ko kallon sa bana iya yi idan ya dora din, shi kuma wannan shi yake frustrating dinsa kuma duk maganar da zaiyi ba zan juya in kalle shi ba pretending nake yi as if I was made with stone, yakan hakura ya rabu dani.

A haka har nayi wata daya da haihuwa, na warke sosai kuma nayi tsarki, a lokacin ne kuma Hajiya da Mammy suka tafi aka bar mu daga mu sai yayan mu. 

A cikin ranakun da suka biyo bayan nan ne kuma Umar yakai limit na frustration din sa, ya same ni a daki na kamar yadda ya saba kullum ya hayo kan gadon yana laluba ta, nayi kamar ban san yana yi ba sai naji ya finciko ni da karfi ya zaunar dani yana kallona. 

"Jidda menene yake damun ki ne wai? Me kike so ne wai? So kike ki kashe ni ne wai?" Na cigaba da kallon sa ba tare da nayi komai ba kuma ba tare da nace masa komai ba. Ya girgiza ni kamar mai kokarin dawo dani cikin hayyacina "idan kina da wata magana da kike so ki gaya min talk to me, nasan ba zai wuce akan maganar Bashir ba kuma na riga nayi miki bayani na kuma dauka cewa kin fahimta, idan baki fahimta ba ki yi min magana sai in sake yi miki bayani, idan akwai wani abu ne kuma na daban ki fada min shima in na rashin fahimta ne in fahimtar dake in kuma na laifi ne in baki hakuri. Please Jidda talk to me"

Na hadiye abin da naji ya tsaya min a makogwarona yana kokarin karya min zuciya akan sa amma sai na daure "ni nace kayi min wani abu ne? Kaji nayi maka wani complain ne? Babu abinda kayi min kuma ni ma babu abinda nayi maka" 

Ya kama hannuna "then what is the problem?" Na sake cewa "mai ka gani, wani abu ne?" Ya sake kama hannayena ya zagaye su a bayansa "then hold me, touch me, kiss me" ya fada kamar zaiyi kuka. Sannan ya dora bakinsa a saman nawa yana kara jayoni jikinsa tare da saka hannunsa cikin rigata yana shafa kirjina, na saki hannayena da ya saka a bayan sa da niyyar in rike shi suka sauka a gefe na trying hard not to feel his touch ina kallon sa, yayi breaking kiss din shima yana kallon na still hannun sa a rigata, "damn it Jidda" na kalli hannun nasa nace "sai dai kayi hakuri, basu kai girman wadanda kake so ba" 

Ya zare hannunsa fuskarsa tana nuna bacin rai "damn it Jidda, damn it. Kiyi magana ki fadi abinda yake ranki" nace "gashi na fadi abinda yake ran nawa? Hakuri na baka ai, hakuri ya taba zama laifi ne? Basu kai girman wadanda kake so ba and I can't change that sai dai kayi hakuri" Ya dafe fuskarsa "damn it. Ni nace miki ina son wadancan din bana son naki? Ko na taba nuna miki cewa bana son naki din, eh? Ai nasan da Zahran amma na tsallake ta na aure ki saboda bana son ta ke na ke so"

Naji wani abu yayi clicking a mind dina "Zahra?" Na fada, ya bude fuskarsa yana kallona and the blood seemed to have drained from his face, "zahra? Na maimaita "wato ashe ka santa kenan, not only ka santa but ka santa so well that kana ganin tsiraicin ta za ka iya ganewa cewa nata ne"

Ya fara girgiza kai 

"Jiddah listen to me. Ba haka bane ba...." Nace "to menene? Gaya min inji menene, ni dai a maganganun ku banji inda aka ambaci sunanta ba, I thought she is just a random unknown prostitute wacce baka sani ba kuma baka yi niyyar sani ba shi yasa baka je ba" 

Yace "kawai fadar sunan nayi Jidda, nasan wata yarinyar Bashir mai wannan sunan shi yasa kawai nayi guessing ko ita ce ba wai na gane ta bane ba" na girgiza kaina nima hawayen dana dauka sun tsaya suka sake sauko min "yarinyar Bashir ko kuma yarinyar ku kai da Bashir? Wacce kuke sharing kuma kuka dade kuna sharing dinta a tsakanin ku"

Yayi shiru yana struggling da zuciyarsa, na dafe kaina ina tuno hirarsu da Bashir "ka karo dadi" na fada a fili, "abinda aka san dadinsa dama shi za'a ce ya karo dadi ba wai wanda ba'a sani ba" 

Still bai ce komai ba, na goge hawaye na "there I was, thinking cewa Zuwaira ce kadai, ina ta kokarin shifting blame on adolescence da kuma rashin aure da wuri da society da shaidan da kaddara, anything but you, thinking cewa abinda ya riga ya faru ya faru kuma ya wuce kuma ba zai sake faruwa ba. Ashe suna da yawa, yanzu na san uku Allah kadai yasan yawansu kuma yasan wadanda zan sani nan gaba"

Ya fara kokarin rike hannuna yana kokarin zaro maganar da ta kasa fitowa, na zame hannuna daga cikin nasa "ba zaka gaya min gaskiya ba shine matsalar ka, rashin fadar gaskiyar kuma shine yafi komai tsaya min a rai yafi komai bata min rai Umar. If you open up to me, nasan me nake fuskanta then we can work it out together because I love you" 

Ya kama fuska ta "Jidda, na gaya miki gaskiya fa, Jidda gaskiya nake gaya miki fa. Na baki labarin Zuwaira, ita kuma wannan yarinyar Bashir ce, yes I know her amma ba yanda kike tunani bane ba Jidda, daga su kuma babu wata. Na rantse miki babu wata sai ke"

Nace "sai yaya Jamila. Sai yayata jamila"

Ya rintse idonsa "that lying bitch" na nuna shi da hannu na "kar ka sake zagin ta" yace "Jidda ba tun yau ba na gaya miki wannan yarinyar karya taje yi min, so take....  " Nace "so take ta raba ka da ni? Me yasa kowa yake yi maka karya ne? Mai yasa kowa yake so ya raba ka dani ne? Saboda me? Huh?" 

Na cigaba "tun lokacin da muka fara samun matsala da kai, tun farkon sanda ka fara breaking heart dina abinda na fara sakawa a raina shine alhakin yaya Jamila ne yake bi na. Sai da ta gaya min, she warn me about you amma na rufe ido na na ki sauraren ta na kuma kirata da makaryaciya, sannan naki gaya wa kowa saboda ina ganin ai karya take yi maka kuma fadar zai zamanto kamar na zubar maka da mutuncin ka a idon surukan ka" 

"I can't even imagine her pain, bayan ka yaudare ta kayi mata alkawarin aure sannan ka raba ta da a abu mafi daraja a gurin ta sannan kuma kazo ka auri kanwarta. Can you even imagine how she felt?" 

Ya yamutsa fuska "what? Ni fa ban gane abinda kike nufi ba, ban gane na raba ta da abu mafi daraja a gurin ta ba" nace "kasan ai abinda nake nufi Umar, kasan abinda kayi ai. You took her vaginity"

Ya sake ni "what? Jidda karya take yi wallahi. Lokacin da nasan yarinyar nan she wasn't even a virgin"

Shirun da ya biyo bayan maganar ita ta saka yayi realising abinda yace, daga dukkan alamu ranar yau bata tafiyar masa yadda ya kamata and his smart brain wasn't that smart after all. 

"Umar" na kira sunan sa da karyayyiyar murya "you mean you had sex with my cousin and then you marry me duk da kasan cewa ni cousin din ta ce? Wannan wanne irin abin kunya ne Umar" 

Sai ya ja da baya, sannan without another word ya sauka daga kan gadon sannan ya fita daga dakin. 

Na ja pillow zuwa kirjina na rungume sannan na kifa kaina a cikin pillow din na cigaba da rera kuka marar sauti dan gudun kar in tashi yaya na da suke bacci. 

Tun sanda na fahimci abinda ya faru tsakanin Umar da Zuwaira na saka a raina cewa Jamila ma ba karya tayi masa ba, ban taba yi masa maganar ba saboda ina tsoron cewa maganar zata tabbata cewa gaskiya ne, sai yau, ranar da nayi realising cewa ba Zuwaira ce kadai macen da Umar yayi ko kuma yake yin mu'amala da ita ba a ranar kuma na tabbatar har da cousin dina yar kanwar mahaifina a cikin list din matan da suka yi sharing gado da mijina kuma uban yayana. Sai naji abin yafi yi min zafi yanzu dana tabbatar akan da dana ke saka ran watakila zai iya zama ba gaskiya ba. But I am glad I did know the truth dan hakan ne kawai zai saka in samu peace of mind kuma in iya saka abin a baya na.

Nayi kuka mai yawa, amma kuma ga mamaki na sai naji kamar an dauke min wani dutse ne da ya danne zuciyata ya kasa barin ta ta sake, naji finally na samu peace a zuciyar ta wa, ba wai peace na cewa problem dina ya kare ba a'a peace na cewa na san menene problem din nawa, next step shine in san yanda zanyi tackling dinsa.

A daren nayi realising gaskiya, it was so hard on me to accept but dole nayi accepting cewa Umar, mijina, uban yayana is an adulterer. Kuma he has been at it for quite a long time, unrepentantly. 

Yes, he is an adulterer. But he is also my husband who loves me dearly kamar yadda nima nake son sa, sannan kuma uban yayana ne guda biyu, na riga na haifa masa su kuma babu yadda zanyi in chanja musu uba ko da kuwa ina son inyi hakan. 

Yanzu na fahimci problem din da yake cikin aure na, na fahimci tawa kaddarar kamar yadda tun kafin inyi aure nasan cewa kowanne aure yana da nasa matsalar kamar yadda na gani a gurin sisters dina, a lokacin bansan cewa nawa jarabawar zai fi nasu wahala ba sai yanzu. Next step kuma shine inga yadda zanyi tackling problem din, yadda zanci jarabawar rayuwata. 

Ba zan iya chanja matsayin Umar a rayuwata ba, amma maybe zan iya chanja waye Umar din. Musamman tunda ina son sa kuma shima yana so na. Sai dai wannan son da nake yi masa da kuma wanda shima yake yi min shine ya kara rura zafi a cikin zuciyata. 

It is so hard to accept that mijinki da kike so kuma wanda shima yake son ki yana mu'amala da wasu matan a waje, mu'amala bata gaisawa ko magana ko harkar aiki ko kuma soyayya ba, a'a mu'amala irin wacce ya kamata ace dani ne kadai zai ke yin irinta sai dai kuma in yayi wani auren nan gaba. 

But in dai har zan iya chanja shi din ta yaya? 
Ta ina zan fara. 

Na jima ban yi bacci ba ina lissafin mafita, amma kuma a daren na yanke mafitar da nake ganin ita ce hanyar da zata bille da ni. 

Da assuba na tashi kamar kullum nayi sallah nayi adduoi na na kai kuma na gurin ubangiji wanda nasan shine kadai zai share min hawaye na ya amsa addu'a ta ya biya min bukata ta ya shirya min mijina. 

Na zauna nayi azkar zuwa wayewar gari sannan na tashi na shiga wanka na fito na shirya sannan na fita zuwa kitchen na fara hada breakfast ina lissafin yadda zan kammala kafin Yasmin ta tashi ta tayar min da Asad. Ina gamawa ne kuwa na jiyo kukan sa da yar karamar muryar sa, nayi murmushi sannan na ajiye towel din hannuna na tafi har da dan gudu na.

A kan gado na tarar dasu Yasmin tana ta kokarin wai sai ta dauke shi. Na rike hannunta "yaya Yasmin? Zaki dauki Asad ne?" Ta fara gyada kai "eh eh eh eh eh" na dauke shi sannan na gyara mata zamanta "to zauna in baki shi ki rike. Ki ce bismillah" na dora mata shi sai ta fara dariya tana taba hancinsa, shi kuma ya dauka abincin sa ne sai ya fara bude baki, da yaji babu komai sai ya kara bude baki ya cigaba da kuka. 

Na dauke shi na saka a kafada ta "ya isa haka babana, yi shiru kaji rabu da yaya Yasmin dan ta ga ka fita hanci shine zata lakuce maka na ka" ta tabe fuska zata yi min kuka ita ma sai na dauke ta ita ma da daya hannun nace "taho muje mu tashi Daddy daga bacci" 

Muka fita muka shiga dakin sa. Yana kwance akan gado, yayi rub da ciki ya kuma dora pillow akan sa, ko motsi baya yi, daga gani bacci mai nauyi yake yi, daga gani kuma baiyi sallar asuba ba. Na ajiye Yasmin akan gadon sannan na dauke pillow din da ya rufe fuskar sa dashi trying hard not to think of maganganun da muka yi jiya. Ina ajiye Yasmin ta sauri ta haye bayansa ta fara doki "doci, doci, doci" 

Ya yamutsa fuska sannan ya bude ido yana kare haske da hannunsa. "Ka tashi ko kuma in dora maka Asad shima yayi dokin bayan Yasmin" yayi juyi without knowing Yasmin tana bayansa, ta tafi zata fadi sai yayi sauri ya rike ta da hannu daya ya gyara kwanciya ya koma rigingine sannan ya dora ta akan cikinsa. 

Ta cigaba da tsallen ta "doci doci doci" sai kuma ya daga ta sama "ahh, Yasmin zaki saka inyi aman hanjina daga baki, ke baki san kullum kara girma kike yi ba ko mamana" ya karasa yana yi mata chakulkuli a wuyanta. 

Na zauna a gefen gadon na fara feeding Asad. "Zuwa muka yi mu tashe ka ka shirya office, sai muka tarar ashe ko sallah ma baka tashi kayi ba" ya juyo yana kallona, muka hada ido sai yace "banyi bacci bane sosai jiya" na girgiza kaina "wannan ba excuse bane ba, da ka sani sai ka saka alarm da zai tashe ka da assuba in kayi sallah sai ka koma ka cigaba da baccin ka" 

Har yanzu ni yake kallo, kuma nasan dalilin kallon dan rabon da inyi masa magana irin haka tun kafin haihuwar Asad. Maybe kuma ya dauka yau rashin maganar ta mu zata fi na kullum. Na sake kallon sa sannan na nuna masa toilet "ka tashi fa, kana ta kallo na anan" ya ajiye Yasmin ya sake juyawa ruf da ciki yana kallona sosai "kina min magana ne?" Nace "ina cewa ka tashi kayi sallah ne in ka idar kuma ka rike min daya daga cikin bundles of joys din nan kafin in wanke daya"

Ya mike da sauri "zan wanke daya ke kuma ki yi wa daya, ai tare muka haife su ko?" Ban bashi amsa ba ya shiga toilet yayin da Yasmin ta bishi tana ta buga masa kofa har ya fito ya saka riga ya shimfida sallaya, tayi sauri ta kwanta akai kamar wadda ita aka shimfidawa sai ya rabu da ita ya shimfida wata, kafin ya idar na gama feeding asad na kwantar dashi na koma kitchen na dora ruwan tea na zuba kayan kamshi sannan na dawo na tarar suna ta rigimar cire kaya da Yasmin, tana ta yi masa surutu wanda ba'a iya gane me take cewa in banda Daddy, shi kuma yana biye mata yana bata amsa, ina shiga yace "wannan zata tsaya inyi mata wankan kuwa? Duk ta gajiyar dani already" nace "ka barni inyi mata, wankan Yasmin sai da dabara, kawai ka juye ruwan tea inya tafasa a kitchen. 

Yace "yes ma" yana murmushi sai kuma yazo ya tsaya a gaba na kamar mai son yin magana, na sunkuyar da kaina kasa sannan na zagaye shi na shiga toilet na fara hada wa Yasmin ruwan wanka. Sai da na gama yi mata  sannan na wanke toilet na hada masa shima. Na fito na gogewa Asad jikinsa tunda har yanzu ba kullum nake yi masa wanka ba.

Kafin ya gama na gama shirya yara Asad har ya koma baccin sa, yana fitowa naje ba bude wardrobe din kayansa "me zaka saka yau? Dogayen kaya ko kanana" sai ya zagayo ta bayana ya bude towel din jikinsa ya saka ni a ciki ya rufe mu tare "wanne kike so in saka, dogaye ko kanana?" Na juyo ina kallon sa, "ya danganta da schedule dinka na yau, in akwai wani gurin da zaka je na kunya haka sai ka sa manya in kuma babu sai kasa kanana"

Ya dan zame hannun rigata daga kafada ta yayi kissing kafadar "a bani kananan to, ranki ya dade" ban ka shi ba na zame jikina daga nasa na dauko masa kayan na ajiye masa sannan na fara gyaran gadon. 

Yana saka kayan yace "naga kamar kina ta sauri yau, ko akwai wani abin da zaki yi ne?" Na gyada kai "ina so ne zan fita unguwa" ya dakata da abinda yake yi, "unguwa kuma? Wacce irin unguwa bayan kin san Asad bai yi kwarin da za'a fara fita da shi ba?" Nayi shiru bance komai ba na cigaba da gyaran dakin nasa har na kammala shima ya gama sannan muka fita yin breakfast, na ga bayan ruwan tea din har sauran abubuwan da ban kawo ba duk ya kawo, ya jawo high chair din Yasmin ya saka ta a ciki ya jawo ta kusa da shi ya fara bata abinci, ni kuma na hada masa nasa na ajiye masa a gabansa sannan na hada nawa na zauna, sai ga ya ga Yasmin ta koshi sannan ya fara cin nasa yace "ina zaki je unguwar? Ni yau fa bada wuri ma zan fita ba, sai around 12 or so" nace "gidan gwoggo Habibah zan je, that's in ka bari kenan" 

Ya ajiye fork din hannunsa yana kallona fuskar sa tana nuna bacin rai yace "gurin wannan yarinyar zaki je ko?" Nace "gidan gwoggo Habibah zanje, eh Yaya Jamila tana gidan dan haka definitely zan hadu da ita a can in dai ba taje unguwa bane ba ko something" ya cigaba da cin abincin "in nace ba zaki je ba fa?" Na daa kafada "shikenan sai in hakura, in kuma ci gaba da tambayar ka har sai ranar da Allah ya sa ka barni sai inje" 

"Me zaki ce mata?" Ya tambaye ni, nace "ban gane me zance mata ba, yar uwata ce fa, zamu gaisa muyi hirar mu irin ta yan'uwa shikenan" yayi shiru bai ce komai ba sai na ce "idan da baka san dangantaka zaka ni na da ita, tunda ka fahimci wacece ita a gurina sai ka fasa aurena. Fakat" 

Ya ajiye cup din hannunsa sannan yace "ki shirya, in zan fita sai in fita da ku in barku a can, in zan dawo sai in biya in dauko ku" nace "Nagode"

Sai 12 din muka fita tare, na saka wa  Asad kaya masu kauri sosai sannan na saka shi a cikin carrier dinsa na daure shi a jikina sosai. In ba sani kayi ba ma ba zaka san da jariri a jikina ba sai dai ka daka ko kiba na kara. 

Tun da muka tafi ban nuna masa hanya ba, duk da nasan cewa tunda mukayi aure bai taba kaini gidan da kansa ba amma sai gamu tiryan tiryan har kofar gidan suna ta surutun su shi da Yasmin. Ina shiga gwoggo Habibah ta tare mu ta fara'ar ta ta dauki Yasmin ni kuma na durkusa na gaishe ta. "Kune a gidan nan Maijidda? Da danyen jegon nan kika fito?" Nayi murmushi "na gaji da zama ne a gidan ni kadai gwoggo, tunda Hajiya ta tafi gidan duk babu dadi in ya fita shine yau nace ya fito da mu ya kawo mu nan mu dan yi hira, zuwa laasar sai ya dawo ya dauke mu" ta gyada kai "ina maigidan na wa?" Nace "gashi yana ta bacci" sai kuma nace "yaya Jamila tana gida kuwa?" Ta girgiza kai "kin san ta samu aiki ai har ta fara zuwa, amma kafin ku tafi insha Allah zata dawo" na gyada kai ina fatan ta dawo din kafin lokacin.

Bayan sallar azahar kuwa sai gata ta dawo din, tayi mamakin ganin mu kuwa, nima kuma nayi mamakin yadda ta chanja kamar fuskarta ta fara manyanta haka, sai dai kuma yanayin ta yana nuna ta nutsu babu rawar kai irin yadda take da. 

Ta karbi Asad daga hannu na "ayyah dan jariri ban je na ganka ba har kai kazo da kanka" ta kalle ni "Umma tace sunan babanku kuka saka masa ko?" Na gyada kai "eh sunan Baba ne" ta ce "me ake ce masa?" Nace "Asad" tayi murmushi "suna mai dadi" sai ta miko min shi sannan ta shafa fuskar Yasmin "duk basu yi miki kara ba, duk da babansu suke kama" 

Sai kuma ta dauki jakarta ta shiga dakin ta. Na mike nima da Asad a hannuna na bi bayanta. Bata dakin amma na jiyo motsinta a toilet, sai na zauna a bakin gado, ban dade da zama ba Yasmin ta biyo bayana ta zauna a kusa dani "mu tafi, Daddy!" Na harare ta a raina nace shegen son uba kamar ita kadai ce mai uba a duniya. 

Muna zaune yaya Jamila ta fito, ta bi mu da kallo tana goge ruwan fuskar ta sai nace "gurin ki nazo yaya Jamila" sai ta ajiye towel din hannunta ta zauna a kusa dani "Allah dai yasa lafiya kanwata" sai naji hawaye ya taru a idona "zuwa nayi in baki hakuri, akan maganar nan, wannan maganar da kika gaya min ranar nan, ban yarda ba lokacin amma yanzu na yarda" 

Sai tayi shiru tana wasa da hannunta sannan tace "ba sai kin bani hakuri ba Jidda, abinda kika yi a lokacin shine exactly abinda zanyi idan table din ya juya, dan a lokacin yadda nake jin sa a raina idan da ace zai ce ya fasa auren ki ni zai aura to kuwa tabbas zan iya bujire wa Umma ta in ce sai na aure shi, ballantana ke da yake soda gaskiya. Kuma yanzu komai ya wuce. Na riga na tura maganar sa behind me, na samu miji ma yanxu insha Allah nan ba da dadewa ba za a kira ku kusha biki" na dan kirkiro murmushi nayi mata "Allah ya sanya alkhairi"

Sai ta dan bata rai "amma ya akayi kika yarda da magana ta yanzu? Na tabbatar ba confessing yayi miki ba" nace "bai yi confessing ba, not directly, amma na sani" hawayen da nake ta kokarin tsayarwa suka fara zuba kamar an bude fanfo, na juyo ina kallon ta nace "yaya Jamila Umar mazinaci ne, mijina mazinaci ne. Bake kadai bace ba, you are just one amongst others. Yaya Jamila ki gode Allah da Umar bai aure ki ba, kinji dadi da ba ke ya aura ba" 

Ta hawo ni jikinta na dora kaina akan kafadarta tace "innalillahi. Kiyi hakuri Jidda ki daina kuka, kaddarar ki ce wannan ba tawa ba shi yasa ya aure ki bani ba. Ni kuma kaddara ta itace in rayu da takaicin abinda na aikata" na dago kaina daga kafadar ta ina goge hawaye na tare da gyada kai na, it felt so good to talk to someone, to tell someone abinda yake raina especially someone da nasan ba zata tona asirin mijina ba itama nata asirin ne. 

Ta dauki Yasmin ta dora akan cinyarta sannan tayi min irin tambayar da nayi wa kaina jiya "yanzu menene abinyi? Yanzu me zaki yi?" 

Na sunkuyar da kaina ina kallon fuskar Asad ta take sak irin ta babansa, na tuno shawarar da na yanke jiya da daddare wadda na yanke ta ne bayan na lissafa maganganun da muka taba yi da Aunty Afia inda ta gaya min itama da ta kasance a cikin irin halin da nake ciki yanzu amma hakuri, juriya, jajircewa gurin kyautatawa da kuma biya wa mijinta dukkan bukatunsa sannan kuma da kara himma gurin addu'a shine yayi mata maganin matsalar ta, yanzu gashi nan ya wuce kamar ba'a yi ba, dan Aunty Afia tana daga cikin matan da nasan suna jin dadin auren su.

Na daga kai na kalli yaya Jamila nace "hakuri zanyi yaya Jamila, dan wannan shine kaddara ta, zanyi iyakacin kokari na gurin ganin na gyara shi ta hanyar nuna masa soyayya da kulawa da kuma yin dukkan kokari na na ganin na sauke dukkan nauyin sa da yake kaina sannan kuma zan dage dayi masa addu'ar nema masa shiriya a gurin Allah. It is going to be a tough challenge amma zanyi iyakacin kokari na ko ba dan son da nake masa ba da kuma shi son da yake yi min ba, ko dan wadannan yaran da Allah ya sako a tsakanin mu"

Na karasa ina kallon yaran da suma duk ni suke kallo kamar suna jin abinda nake cewa.

*wannan littafin na amana ne idan baki siya ba kar ki karanta, idan kuma kin siya kar ki yi sharing, in kika yi kinci amana kuma ke da Allah*

*The First Step*

Bai zo daukan mu bayan magrib din ba kamar yadda yace, amma ya kira ni ya gaya min yaje gidan su ne Mama tana nemansa sai bayan magrib zai zo ya dauke mu. 

Muna idar da Sallah kuwa sai gashi ya zo, amma sai gwoggo tace ya tsaya yaci abinci tukunna, ta saka aka bude masa dakin baki aka kai masa abinci muma muka ci a cikin gida har da zuba mana mu tafi dashi gida ko zamu sake ci kafin mu kwanta. 

Ina fita ya karbi Yasmin da take kafada ta already tayi bacci sannan ya karbi flask din da yake hannuna, ya kwantar da ita a bayan mota ya ajiye flask din shima sannan ya bude min kofar gaba na shiga muka tafi. 

Shiru a hanya babu wanda yayi magana a cikin mu, yana ta driving dinsa da hannu daya dayan kuma ya dafe kansa da shi kamar wanda kan yake yi masa ciwo, ni kuma na jingina kaina a jikin kujera na rungume Asad da hannaye na biyu ido na a rufe. 

Zuwa can ya dan sauke glass din motar yace "yau garin akwai iska mai dadi, kina son fresh air?" Ban ce komai ba sai kuma ya sake daga glass din yace "kar Asad yayi mura kuma" still nayi shiru. Sai da muka shiga layin mu sannan yace "ina son muyi magana Jidda. Zaki saurare ni?" Na juyar da kaina ina kallon sa ta hasken street light, hasken fatarsa yana reflecting hasken da ya ke shigowa motar sai na sake rufe ido na sannan nace "zsan saurare ka mana, do I have another option?" 

Yace "of cause kina da options da yawa Jidda, I will never force you to do anything that you don't want to do" na sake bude ido na akansa, ido na ya sauka akan band dina da yake hannunsa nace "idan nace bana son jin komai daga gare ka me zaka yi?" Ya daga kafada, "zan hakura, sai kuma in cigaba da tambayarki har sai ranar da kika yarda da kanki kika tsaya kika saurare ni"

Sai miko hannunsa ya dora akan nawa da yake rike da Asad, na zare hannun nawa tare da juya kaina ina kallon taga, naji hawaye ya taru a ido na nace "in na saurare ka ma mai zaka ce min Doctor Umar? Wanne bayani zaka yi min wanda already ban riga na sani ba? In na saurare ka you will only succeed in confusing me and giving me false hope, karya kawai zaka yi min, wanda abinda vaka sani ba shine yafi komai kona min rai a cikin rayuwar aure na da kai, karya" 

Ya kuma bin hannun nawa ya kamo ya rike sannan ya jashi zuwa bakin sa yayi kissing knuckles dina, "shine abinda nake so in gaya miki. Bayanin da nake so inyi miki kenan idan kin bani dama Jidda. Eh nasan I have been lying to you about some certain things, amma ina so ki fahimci duk abinda nayi miki karya akai abu ne da ni nake ganin gaskiyar will hurt you. And hurting you shine abu na karshe da nake so inyi a rayuwata" 

Na sake karbe hannuna ina goge inda yayi kissing din a jikin rigata "but hurting me is all you have been doing. 
Ciwon da kake bawa zuciyata Umar ban taba jin irinsa ba a rayuwata" na karasa hawayen da nake rikewa suna gangarowa daga idona. 

Ya dauke kansa ya cigaba da driving har muka karasa gida yayi packing sannan ya juyo yana kallona "will you like to get the fresh air" na goge hawayen da yake fuska ta bance komai ba sai ya fito ya zagayo dauke Asad daga kan cinyata ya mayar da shi baya sannan ya dawo kama hannuna "come" na fito na tsaya ina kallon sa sai ya zagaya dani bayan motar sai ya saki hannu na ya zauna a saman booth din motar sannan ya nuna min kusa ban san me zance miki ba Jidda, I have been trying so form the words or the sentences amma na kasa, bana jin akwai wata kalma da zan fada miki da zata goge dacinda kike ji a zuciyarki, amma zan gwada, zance Allah ya baki hakuri Jidda. Kiyi hakuri Jidda dan Allah"

Ya fada yana rintse hannuna daya a cikin hannayensa biyu sannan ya saka su akan kirjinsa. "Nayi miki karya akan Jamila, but I was madly in love with you, ta yaya kike tunanin zance na fasa aurenki bayan kwana biyu ya rage daurin auren mu saboda wani mistake da nayi a baya?" 

Nace "mistake ko intentional?" Yayi shiru yana kallona sai na sake maimaita wa "was it a mistake ko kuma was it intentional" sai ya saki hannu na ya kama fuska ta "what does it matter? In mistake in intentional menene banbanci?" 

Nace "akwai banbanci sosai a tsakani Umar, in mistake ne, then it has already been regretted and it will never happen again. In kuma intentional ne then baka yi regretting ba and it may happen again nan gaba tunda baka yarda cewa abinda kayi ba dai dai bane ba" 

Yayi shiru bai ce komai ba sai na cigaba "the first step na chanja hali shine mutum ya yarda cewa abinda yake aikatawa ba dai da bane ba, idan har ba ka yarda cewa ba dai dai bane ba then ba zaka daina ba tunda ba zaka saka a ranka cewa kana so ka daina ba" 

Yace "yes, na yarda, na yarda cewasanda na aikata duk wadancan kurakuran a kuskure bane ba ganganci ne amma yanzu na fahimta Jidda, nayi regretting fiye da tunanin ki Jidda kuma nayi wa kaina alkawari sannan ke ma yanzu ina miki alkawari cewa ba zan sake ba"

"Nayi wannan alkawarin ne tun a ranar haihuwar Asad, ranar da na dauka na rasa ki Jidda, ranar da na dauka cewa bakin cikin abinda nake aikatawa ya jawo min asarar ki a ranar nayi wa kaina alkawarin na daina, kuma yanzu kema ina miki alkawarin na daina. Fata na kawai shine zaki ce kin yafe min Jidda dan Allah"

Sai ya sauko daga saman motar ya tsaya a gaba na still hannayensa rike da nawa. Fuskarsa abin tausayi kamar marayan da ya rasa iyayensa duk biyun. Sai na girgiza masa kai nace "ai ba ni kayi wa laifi ba Umar, ni babu abinda kayi min ballantana in yafe maka or not, abinda kayi tsakanin ka da Allah ne ba da ni ba tunda ni duk ka sauke nauyi na da yake kanka. Wannan kuma nauyine ka daukar wa kanka a gurin ubangiji kuma shi zaka nema gafara kuma kayi masa alkawarin ba zaka sake yi ba bani ba"

Yace "na sani, kuma na nemi gafarar sa already, kuma zan cigaba da neman gafarar sa. Amma kema nayi miki laifi sosai tunda na saka bakin ciki da takaici mara misaltuwa a zuciyarki. Wallahi Jidda da zan iya chanja zuciyata da taki da nayi, dan in dauke miki ciwon da kike ji a cikin taki zuciyar, dan kema kuma ki fahimci irin tarin damuwa da kuma nadamar da suke a cikin tawa zuciyar Jidda da nayi hakan. Amma ba zan iya ba, ba kuma zan iya dawo da agogo baya ya zamanto cewa banyi abinda nayi din ba" 

"Ki bude zuciyarki dan Allah ki sake bani wata damar dan Allah, nasan nayi messing up waccan da kika bani amma wannan ita ce ta karshe dazan nema a gurin ki insha Allah. Nayi miki wannan alkawarin" 

Tunda ya fara magana idona yake cikin nasa, ina hango tarin damuwa da kuma tarin soyayya ta da yake cikin idon nasa, and of course iskar gurin tana da dadi and I love him so much. Sai na gyada kai na. Yes, I am going to give him a third chance.

Sai yayi murmushi sannan yayi dariya, sai kuma ya jawo ni ya sauko dani kasa sannan ya rungume ni tsam tsam a jikinsa 

"Oh God, I love you so much baby"

Washegari na fara gabatar da plans dina na ganin na gyara miji na. Abu na farko dana fara kokarin yi shine kokarin gyaran ibadar sa, a ganina in ya gyara wannan to tabbas sauran al'amuran sa zasu gyaru. Na kara kaimi gurin tunatar dashi akan sallah, duk da dai dama ina kokarin yin hakan. 

Sallar asuba kullum ina kokarin ganin yayi ta a jam'i, yana dawowa gida kuma ba abinci nake fara gabatar masa ba musanman in lokacin sallah ya gabato zan fara cewa yayi alwala yaje masjid kar jam'i ya wuce shi. Duk sanda yayi sallah a gida kuwa sai na tsokane shi, "ka rasa ladan jam'i, yau ladana yafi naka a sallah tunda ni dama macece a gida muke sallar mu" 

Farko ya fara bi duk yadda nayi dashi, daga baya sai ya fara ignoring dina ko yayi mim dariya "Ya shehiya Malama Maijidda Umar Faruq. Muna godiya da wannan tunatarwa, Allah ya bada lada"

Amma mockry dinsa bai sa na daina ba duk da shi din ba ko da yaushe yake ji ba. 

Ganin baya jin tawa maganar sai na chanja shawara "dan Allah dear ina neman wata alfarma a gurin ka" ya ajiye wayar sa da yake dannawa tare da banj full attention dinsa yace "alfarma? Wacce irin alfarma?" Nace "ina so ka samo mana malamin islamiyya yake zuwa gida yana koyar da mu" ya bata fuska sannan yayi dariya "you must be joking right? Kina tunanin zan bar wani kato mai dogon gemu yake shigowa gidan nan da sunan dora miki karatu"

Nayi dariyar kishinsa, "ai ba ni kadai zan ke daukan karatun ba har da kai, tare zamu ke yi" sai ya sake dariya "ni wai? Haba ustaziyya malama Jidda. Kina ganin ina da wannan lokacin, upon all my tight schedules?" Na bata rai sai ya jawo ni jikinsa "karatu ba tun muna yara mukayi shi muka gama ba? Nayi sauka tun ina secondary school, nayi kuma karatun duk necessary littattafai, sai menene kuma ya rage? Yanzu su Yasmin ne zamu dage su samu nasu tun da mu mun riga mun samu ko Baby?" 

Na sake bata rai "ai karatu ba wai dan mutum yasan abinda bai sani bane ba, kamar tunatarwa ne na abinda already mutum ya sani, tunatarwa kuma Annabi yace tana amfanar mumini" 

Yayi ajjiyar zuciya "okay, tunda kin dage kina so zan bincika a unguwar nan sai in samo miki islamiyya ta matan aure wadda mata suke koyarwa a ciki sai ki ke zuwa, in kin dawo kuma da daddare sai ki koya min abinda kika koyo acan. Haka yayi miki?" 

Ba haka naso ba amma babu yadda zanyi sai na bar shi a haka. Sai na koma tura masa wa'azi ta WhatsApp, duk wani video ko audio ko written wa'azi da na gani musamman in yana da dangantaka da zina sai in tura masa. Da farko ina samun "jzkl" "thank" wani lokacin kuma thumbs up, daga baya ma sai ya daina kula ni amma ban daina turawa ba duk da a jikina nasan baya budewa.

Rayuwa ta cigaba a tsakanin mu, mun koma kamar wani abu bai faru ba a zahiri, amma a badini, zuciyata bata taba samun kwanciyar hankali ba. Kullum Umar ya jima a waje sai na tambayi kaina inda yake ko kuma abinda yake yi a inda yake din, in waya akayi masa kunne na yana kai inji me yake cewa, duk kuma sanda naji something unusual sai naji hankali na bai kwanta da hakan ba. 

A ɓangare daya kuma na sake kara kaimi gurin yiwa Umar addu'a a dukkan sallolina, duk sanda na jima a sujjada to ba kaina ko iyayena ko yayana nake yiwa addu'a ba Umar nake yiwa addu'a. Kuma addu'a ta Allah ya bawa Umar ikon cika alkawarin da yayi wa Ubangiji na cewa ya daina kusantar zina. 

Na sake kuma cigaba da gyaran kaina, wannan karon ba wai ciki kadai nake gyarawa ba har da wajen dan a ganina kyawun wajen da zai gani a gurin matan shi zai rinjaye shi har ya shigar da shi cikin. Ko da yaushe ina hanyar saloon, takanas na saka Mufida ta nemo min saloon mai kyau irin na yan gayu, ni ce wankin kafa ni ce gyaran gashi ni ce kitso, duk rashin so na da kitso sai gashi ina yi har da kitson attach haka nake yi inyi ta kamale wuya ina fama da ciwon kai amma ba zan kunce ba saboda Umar yana so har sai ya kwana biyu na tabbatar ya gama gani sannan zan kunce. 

Kunshi kuwa in baka jan lalle a hannu na ba to zaka ga baki, da wahala kaga hannuna da kafafuwa na babu kunshi duk kuma dan kar umar ya gani a wani wajen yayi sha'awa. 

Ni ce yawo a social media, duk wani group dinda ake bada bedroom tips ina ciki, bana magana sosai amma duk abinda aka fada ina rikewa, har screenshot din wasu abubuwan nake yi in ajiye kuma in koya sannan in gwada wa Umar. Babu abinda bana yi wa Umar a bedroom sai abinda yake haram kadai. 

Tsafta kuwa dama ina da ita, dan har mocking dina su Mufida suke yi suke aljanun tsafta ne da ni, shi kansa ya san haka. 

Sannan kuma wani abu da nake so in sake emphasizing akai shine Umar bai taba nuna min da jikinsa, bakinsa, ko kuma da aikinsa cewa ina da wata makusa a gurin sa ba, Umar ko daga min murya baya yi da wahala ya bata min rai duk sanda zai min magana da murmushi ta tarairaya yake yi min. 

Wannan yasa na kara sakin jikina tare da saka ran cewa the bad days a over, amma kuma ban daina duk abinda nake yi ba, ban daina kokarin dora shi akan kyakykyawar hanya da kuma tunatar dashi akan dukkan ayyukan ibada ba, sannan kuma ban daina iyakacin kokari na na faranta masa rai ba. A ciki da kuma a wajen bedroom.

A haka har Asad ya warware yayi wayo sosai kamar ba bakwaini ba, har ya fara rarrafensa, ni kuma a lokacin ne na fara shirin fara zuwa aiki. Kafin in fara ne kuma sai aka tura Umar Zaria za su yi wani workshop na kwana uku, Friday Saturday and Sunday. 

Ranar da yazo da takardar gida ya zauna yana ta mita. "Dan wulakanci a rasa inda za'a tura ni sai Zaria? Zaria fa? Wadansu sunje Abuja wadansu Lagos wadansu porthercourt wadansu ma kasar suka bari gabaki daya amma ni shine zasu tura ni Zaria dan sun raina min wayo"

Na rufe baki ina dariya, ya harare ni "au wato dariya ma na baki ko? Dariya ma kike yi min ko?" Na girgiza kaina ina kunshe dariyar "sorry dear, ba dariya nake yi ba fuska ta ce a haka" 

Ya jefe ni da pillow na rike ina sakin dariyar da nake rike wa, yayi tsaki yana gyara zamansa akan kujera, sai na taso na dawo kan cinyarsa na zauna nace "to menene da zariyan, uhm? Ji nake aikin ka kawai zaka je kayi ka dawo? Kai da ba yawon shakatawa zaka je ba?" 

Ya shafa fuskata "tunda aka fara wannan program din nake shirin tafiya da ku Abuja, mu je mu dan shana haka. Kin ga nan yanzu ko dan fita ma ba ma samu muyi saboda aiki yayi min yawa." na rike hannunsa "to ba sai mu bika zariyan ba? Ai nasan zasu baku accomodation ba sai mu zauna ba, ko ba komai ai mun samu chanjin muhalli kuma ai shanawar a tare da mu take ba'a gurin da zamu je ba" na kashe masa ido amma sai ya bata rai. 

"Akwai sauro wallahi. Kar muje Asad ya dauki malaria or worst. Dole ni kadai zanje" na fara bubbuga kafa ina masa shagwaba "dan Allah dear ka tafi da mu. Ni sai in bar Asad dinmaa gurin Umma, ai zai iya shan madara kafin mu dawo, ni bana so ka tafi ka barni" 

Sai ya fara rarrashi na "yaron nan kin san lafiya bata ishe shi sosai ba, ba zamu ji dadin tafiyar ba ma in muka tafi muka barshi. Kwana uku ne kadai zanyi in dawo" na kirkiri hawaye sai ya fara goge min "kin ga, karshen shekarar nan zan dauki annual leave sai mu tafi Abuja mu shana acan, transcorp kike so ko ina?"

Na sake matse kwalla "ni kai nake so......" Ya kwaikwaye ni "nima ke nake so ........." 

A haka dai dole na hakura, Thursday da sassafe ya tafi. Yace sunday da yamma zai dawo.....

Kuma Sunday din ya dawo da daddare can bayan sallar isha. Na tare shi da murna da kwalliya da abinci. Ya kuma karbe ni shima da murna da ɗoki, hannayensa cike da ledojin tsarabar da yayo mana ni da yara. Muka ci abinci tare da yara a kan carpet a cikin plate daya, Yasmin akan cinyarsa yana ci yana bata tana masa surutu ni kuma ina musu dariya tare da bashi labarin abubuwan da yayi missing na daga sabbin abubuwan iyayi da Yasmin take fitowa da su kullum, just like a happy family. Sai da muka gama komai
sannan muka kwantar da yaran mu tare kamar yadda muke yi kullum, sannan na hada masa ruwan wanka kamar yadda nake yi kullum, half expecting ya jani mu shiga wankan tare amma sai naga bai yi hakan ba, kafin ya fito na fitot masa da kayan bacci a raina ina tunanin nasan halin mutumi na ma ba lallai ne ya saka kayan ba sai dai da safe in dauke abina. 

Yana fitowa na shiga nima, half expecting him to follow me ya sake wani sabon wankan dan nasan halin abuna. Cikin sauri nayi wanka na na fito tunda ba wani datti ne a jikin da zan wanke ba kawai dai dan dadin bacci ne, ina ta lissafin irin tarbar da zan samu a gurin mijina saboda kwana ukun da yayi bama tare, musamman kuma saboda hade haden da nayi wa kaina na taryar sa. 

Sai dai me..........

Ina fitowa na tarar da shi ya kai dubai a baccin sa. Na tsaya ina kallon sa da mamaki. Ina so ku fahimci cewa a ranar nayi mamaki ne saboda hakan bai taba faruwa ba, ranar ce rana ta farko da Umar ya fara yin bacci ba tare da ni ba, a matsayi na na wadda ban saba da haka ba, da kuma already abinda yake a raina a game da shi dole inyi mamaki. 

Umar ba zai taba bacci ba ya barni a ranar da ya dawo bayan yayi kwana uku ba tare da ni ba. Except if.......na girgiza kaina da sauri, bana son saka zargin mijina a raina, not again......

Sai na hau kan gadon sannan na juyo dashi daga ruf da cikin da yayi na mayar dashi rigingine sannan na haye ruwan cikinsa "gaskiya ka tashi, har wani nan ma bacci kake nufin zakayi bayan kasan nayi missing dinka" na fada kamar zanyi kuka.

Ya dan bude ido yana kallona sai ya dan shafa bayana kadan "bacci....." Sai ya daga ni chak ya ajiye ni a gefe sannan ya kuma juya min baya tare da cewa "just sleep".

Na jima ina zaune inda ya ajiye ni ina kallon sa fuska ta cike da mamaki. Har da kara sunkuya wa in leka fuskarsa dan in tabbatar Umar din ne da gaske ba wani can daban ba. Na kuma lura peacefully yake baccin sa. To ko dai da gaske yake gajiyar ce tayi masa yawa, but he didn't seem all that tired tun da yazi banga alamun wata muguwar gajiya a tare da shi ba dan ya gaya min ma bashi yayi driving din ba wanda aka tura su tare ne.

And I did what most will think ba dai dai bane ba but only wadanda suke cikin shoe dina ne zasi fahimta, it is something that you can't resist a irin wannan situation din, I checked his phone for the second time a auren mu.

Tana kasan pillow dinsa, na saka hannu a hankali na dauka sannan na shiga toilet na rufe kofa na zauna akan shadda sannan na bude ta. Whatsapp na fara shiga kamar yadda nayi wancan karon, kuma kamar wancan karon din, tarin unsaved numbers ne suka yi min welcome. A ranar na bisu ina dubawa a hankali sai dai babu wani abu da na tsinta a ciki. Daga sallama sai hello sai hi. Babu wata da na ga doguwar magana sai wata da naga an turo masa reply 

"Haba da gaske? Haka kake cewa ai kullum amma ni banga alama ba har yanzu" 

Na sake duba wa sai naga banga shi abinda yace din ba da aka bashi wannan amsar ba, sai na fahimci cewa goge wa yake yi. Yasan nasan pin dinsa, yasan kuma abinda ya faru the last time da na duba wayarsa, in ya chanza pin zanyi zargin wani abu shi yasa yake koke messages dinsa sai ya bar gaisuwa kadai kuma baya saving numbers ballantana in gane. 

Amma sai na bi su ina ta duba WhatsApp names dinsu kuma na fahimci yawancin su mata ne, daga hotunan su da kuma sunayen su. But bani da wani dalili da zan tuhume shi akansu dan babu wani abu da na gani kuma yana da right din da zai yi magana da mata a social media.

Nayi searching Bashir sai naga kusan wata guda ma basu yi magana ba. 

Na fita daga WhatsApp. Sai kawai wata zuciyar ta ce min in duba messenger duk da nasan ba amfani yake da ita sosai ba. And I checked it. 

Chats din su da Bashir na fara gani a can

Message din umar ne karshe, an emoji 
😋😋😋

Sai na shiga ciki, naga dazu da safe ne suka yi maganar 

Bashir ne ya tambaye shi

"Mutanen Zariya, ya kayan da na aiko maka dasu? Babu feedback?"

Sai Umar yayi replying 
😋😋😋

I then became curious to know kayan menene suke magana akai? Sai nayi scrolling up. Up to five days ago. Ranar da Umar ya zo min da takardar tafiyar su Zariya. Da dare, ma'ana bayan mun gama magana da Umar na gama rokon shi akan ya tafi da ni yaki

Shi ya fara turawa da Bashir message, sai suka yi hira kamar haka

"Zaria fa suka tura ni mutanen nan"

"🤣🤣🤣🤣. Babu batun Abuja kenan"

"Kai dai barni kawai wallahi duk raina ya baci"

"Kwana nawa zakuyi ne?"

"Uku fa. Sai sunday zamu dawo, sunday din ma sai dare"

"Aiya sorry"

"Ni ba sorry ba, ka aiko min da wani sako mana da zan tafi dashi can😩, kasan ba zan iya kwana uku ni kadai ba"

"🤣🤣🤣. Ka kira Zahra ta ka, ina jin tana Kaduna"

"🤮🤮🤮🤮"

"😳. Wulakanci. Zahran kake wa amai?" 

"Please not her.😭😭. Anyone but her"

"Saboda me? She was once your favorite pet"

"Duk balloons din kirjin sun sace😭😭😭😭"

"🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣"

"🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣"

"Amma kai wallahi ban taba ganin dan iska irin ka ba"

"😁. Allah da gaske nake. Maimakon inke kamasu sai dai in ke tattaro su kamar kaya"

"🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣"

"🤷🏻‍♂️. Ka samo min wata kawai. Mai dan kwari kwari haka. Young😋"

"Kar in kira maka wata kuma kace g**d** yayi slack"

"😂😂😂😂😂" 

"Eh ai kai din ne baka da kai kamar sigari" 

"Ni din? Kai biyu ne fa dani kana cewa bani da kai?" 

"Daya ne yake aiki dayan a toshe yake😂"

"😂😂"

"Tunda kayi aure ka koyi shegen taste da iyayin banza. Ka tafi da matar taka mana in ba tsoro ba"

"Ina ruwan ka in ban tafi da itan ba? Bana son iskanci"

"Zan turo maka number din wata da aka hada ni da ita. Tana kaduna ita ma. Saura kayi mata iskanci" 

"Godiya nake oga bros"

"🙄🙄🙄"

Sai kuma sakon yau da safe 

"Mutanen Zariya. Ya kayan nan dana aiko maka dasu, babu feedback?"

"😋😋😋"

Na kife kan screen din a kasa sannan na sauko daga kan shaddar da nake zaune na dunkule a guri daya kamar mai zazzabi ko kuma mai ciwon ciki. Duk yadda zan kwatantawa mai karatu halin da zuciyata ta shiga ciki a lokacin ba zai gane ba sai dai wadanda suka ta ba shiga irin wannan halin wanda bana yi wa wadanda basu shiga ba fatan shiga. Na jima ina jan numfashi da kyar sannan na fara ambaton sunan Allah ina neman daukin sa da fatan numfashina tare da tunani na zadu dawo gare ni. Ban san mintuna nawa na dauka a kwance a kasan toilet din ba ko kuma hours, amma kuma kukan da ada yake matsayin abokina sai na neme shi na rasa a lokacin da nake bukatar sa dan samun sassaucin zuciyata. 

A karshe na mike zaune sannan na jawo wayar na sake karantawa sai kawai kamar daga sama naga Bashir ya hau online. 

Without thinking twice na tura masa sako.

"Bashir Jidda ce take magana"
"Ina so in sanar maka da cewa nasan duk abinda kuka yi kai da Umar, na sani ba tun yau ba"
"Na fahimci cewa jahilci ne yake damun ku duk ku biyun, baku san girman abinda kuke aikatawa ba, baku san kuma illar abinda kuke yi a gare ku da kuma mu da muke tare da ku ba. Idan kuma har kun sani kuke takewa to ba zan kira ku da jahilai ba sai dai dakikai"
"Banzaye, dakikai, jahilai, kazamai, munafukai, mazinata, makaryata masu hali irin na dabbobi"
"Ba za muce muku Allah ya isa ba, ba wai dan ku ba sai dan zata iya dawowa kan yayan da Allah ya riga ya bayar a tsakanin mu. Amma ku sani ko bamu fada ba sai Allah ya saka mana, abinda kukeyi sai ya dawo kanku indai har baku tuba kun daina ba, fatana dai kawai shine in ya tashi dawowar ya dawo kan ku ku kadai ya murkushe ku da duk wasu masu hali irin naku"
"Wannan shine kadai magana tsakani na da kai da kuma shi dayan munafikin"

"Maganata ta karshe kuma gare ka ita ce, ka bude kunne kuma sosai kaji wannan, in na sake ganin ka a gidan nan wallahi sai nayi maka wanka da tafasasshen ruwa. Munafiki"


Ga masu son siya zasu iya turo kudin su #300 zuwa wannan account din

0779484494
Nafisa Tafida Usman
Access Bank

Sai su turo evidence of payment zuwa wannan number din ta hanyar WhatsApp
08067081020

Wadanda basu da account kuma zasu turo MTN recharge card na 300 zuwa wannan number din 08067081020

Please banda kira, WhatsApp only


*Wannan littafin na siyarwa ne a bisa amana, idan baki siya ba kar ki karanta, idan kuma kin siya kar kiyi sharing in kika yi ke da Allah*

*The Second Step*

Naga alamar ya karanta, ban saka ran zaiyi kin reply ba kuma ban jira reply din nasa ba tunda dai ya karanta shikenan buri na ya cika. 

Na tashi daga kasan toilet din na koma cikin bedroom din na tsaya ina kallon Umar da yake kwance shame shame yana ta shirgar baccinsa. Sai naji a raina tamkar duk duniya babu wanda na tsana irin sa, tsana irin wadda ake yiwa rikakken makiyi dan bana jin Umar yana daga sahun masoyana a duniya, yafi dacewa da in saka shi a sahun munafukai masu fuska biyu wadanda suk fi makiya zama abin tsoro. 

Sai na tuna da mata da sule kashe mazajen su a lokacin da suke bacci, were they in my shoe sanda suka aikata? Then ashe suma suna da tasu hujjar aikata abind suka aikata din. Nayi saurin kawar da tunanin daga zuciyata sannan na jefa masa wayarsa, not minding cewa a kasan pillow na dauke ta dan na tabbatar ko na mayar da ita din zai san na gani dan zai fa sakon dana bar musu shida Bashir a messenger. Dan sakon nawa bana Bashir bane shi kadai, har da Umar din, shi yasa ban goge ba.

Na saka hannuna na dauki Asad da yake ta baccin sa sannan na fita daga dakin na koma dakina, na kwantar da Asad a kusa da Yasmin sannan na zauna ina a bakin gadon ina kallon gadon, remembering our first night 

"my heart and my body belongs to only you"

Naji kamar yanzu yake gaya min maganar. 

And then,

"Karya take yi min, ni ban san taba"

Sai kuma 

"Kuskure ne Jidda. She knows me and She seduced me"

Daga nan kuma...

"Tun ranar da nayi tunanin na rasa ki,  ranar haihuwar Asad, tun ranar nayi wa kaina alkawari kuma yanzu ma ina miki alkawari cewa ma daina. It will never happen again"

And then this.....

Yanzu kuma me zai ce min? Sai naji bana ma son jin mai zai ce min din dan babu komai a cikin maganganun sa sai karya sai kuma kalamai na yaudara. Ya gama yaudara ta, na gama sauraron maganganunsa. 

But menene option dina? 

In sake fita? Ina zanje? Gidan Aunty Afia? 
She will definitely send me back bayan doguwar nasihar yin hakuri da kuma ta daukan kaddara, ta kuma kara da bani misali da irin rayuwar da tayi a baya da yadda yanzu komai ya wuce take cin ribar hakurin ta 

Maybe ma har in samu tukuicin fada akan daukan wayar Umar da nayi, watakila ta kara da cewa 

"Wayar miji tamkar albasa ce, kana dubawa kana hawaye"

Ko kuma

"Kazantar da baka gani ba ai tsafta ce"

Sayings din da ni sam ban yarda dasu ba. Idan har ban ga kazantar ba ta yaya zan gyara ta? Ko kuma shikenan dan ina tsoron ganin kazanta sai inyi ta zama da ita har sai tayi yawan da zata zama cutar wa a gare ni ko kuma ga family dina? My children, my poor innocent children.

To ko gidan mu zan tafi? Bayanin me zanyi musu a gidan? In ce menene ya hada ni da Umar? In ce shi mazinaci ne shi yasa ba zan cigaba da zama da shi ba?

Knowing Abba, da zarar Umar yaje ya shirya masa magana shikenan ta sa maganar zai dauka ba zai ma kuma saurara ta ba, dan shi a gurin sa maganar namiji is worth ten times than maganar mace. Musamman in yaji cewa a wayar Umar din naga cewa yana neman matan, na tabbatar zai dora laifin duba wayar Umar din a saman laifin neman mata da Umar yake yi. And Umma, Umma zata dora wa kanta damuwa ne da tashin hankali bayan kuma babu abinda zata iya yi min maganar. 

And then that means tonuwar asirin Umar, and no matter what Umar yayi ba zai chanja masa tittle dinsa a gurina na mijina kuma uban yayana ba. Staining sunan Umar will forever mean staining sunan yaya na. Musamman abu mai datti irin wannan, musamman a yanayin da gidan mu ya ke ciki, za'a yi ta dragging maganar ne har girman su kuma har sai an kai ga goranta musu watarana. 

I can't imagine anzo neman auren Yasmin nan da shekaru ashirin anyi digging out cewa ubanta mazinaci ne, wasu ma zasu iya kara gishiri su ce shegiya ce. I can't. I can't do that to me children. 

Ina ma Umar zaiyi wannan tunanin? Ina ma zai tuna da Yasmin da Asad a duk lokacin da yayi niyyar aikata aika aikan sa? 

Kenan ita uwa bata da zabi a irin wannan lamarin, kenan duk matar da mijinta yake aikata aiki irin na Umar ko makamancin da Umar bata da zabin tona masa asiri saboda gudun kar ta bata sunan yayanta, and a mother can do anything for her children. 

Sai naji wani irin feeling ya nannade zuciya ta, wani feeling da nake tunanin irin sa ne wadanda aka yi sentencing to life imprisonment ba tare da sunyi laifin komai ba suke feeling, saboda ni dai as far as I know babu laifin da nayi I am innocent amma yanzu I am sentenced to living with Umar and hiding his dirty secrets saboda yaya na. 

Wannan tunanin ya saka wani kuka ya taho min finally, amma sai nayi saurin kifa fuskata akan pillow ina kuka na a haka, wato shi kansa kukan ma bani da freedom din yinsa yadda nake so sai dai in boye shi dan kar yayana su jini ina kuka su tambayi dalili, dan kar makota suji su yi tunanin menene dalili, dan kar yanuwa na su gani su fara guessing dalili. Saboda ni uwace. Saboda yayana.

A cikin daren I did a lot of crying, a lot of praying and a lot of thinking. Na duba step one din da na dauka na gyaran Umar and how it blew up in my face, sai kuma nayi tunanin next step din da zan dauka da kuma irin challenges din da zan fuskanta a kansa. But still keeping in mind that my first step will still remain second step din kamar dora wa zanyi akan wancan din inga kuma yadda abubuwa zasu cigaba da zuwar min.

Sai kuma nayi addu'a, nayi doguwar addu'a akan Allah ya baki karfin daukan abinda zanyi din, ya kuma saka hakan shine abinda zai fi zana min alkhairi ni da yaya na.

Akan sallayata nayi bacci, lokacin har assuba ta fara gabatowa. Na tashi na sake alwala sannan na fita zuwa dakin Umar da niyyar tashin sa yayi sallah, kamar yadda na yi alkawarin zan cigaba da step one dina. 

Yana kwance kamar yadda na barshi, daga alama ma ko juyi baiyi ba saboda dadin baccin da yake yi. Na zagaya ta side din fuskarsa ina kallon sa, hirar su da Bashir ta dawo min a raina.

"Ka samo min mai da kwari haka. Young"

"Saura in kawo maka wata ita kuma kace.............."

Na kawar da maganar daga raina tun kafin in kwada masa mari maimakon in tashe shi daga bacci. 

Na dan daki pillow din da yake kai kadan, ya motsa hannun sa amma bai tashi ba sai nayi knocking a cikin bed frame, louder than I intended to. Yayi juyi sannan yayi blinking "ka tashi kayi sallah" 

Ya bude ido yana kallona nima na tsaya ina kallon sa, zuciyata tana gaya min in damki wuyan sa in shake shi har sai ya daina numfashi.

"Ka tashi kayi sallah" na sake fada, knowing in dai na juya na tafi ba tare da ya watstsake ba to zan dawo in tarar da shi ya koma. 

Sai naga yayi murmushi still idonsa a kaina, na juya ina sake maimaitawa "ka tashi kayi sallah" 

Kafin in yi taku biyu naji ya jawo ni na fado kansa, sannan yayi juyi ya mayar da ni kasan sa yana dariya "got ya!" Na rufe idona saboda wani daci da takaici da naji a zuciyata, ya kawo bakinsa dai dai kunnena "menene ma naji kina fada jiya da dare? That you missed me right? You have no idea how much I missed you too"

Na bude ido na ina kallon fuskarsa a saman tawa, yayi min murmushi tare da daga min gira, nace "really? A ina kayi missing din nawa? Ni kuwa ni na tabbatar kayi missing dina tunda na gani ganin idona" ya bude ido "my God! Fushi kike yi wai? Am so sorry kinji Baby?" Ya fada yana kama kunnuwan sa, "bacci, gajiya, ban san ma sanda nayi baccin ba kamar a mafarki naji kina yi min magana, maimakon in farka kuma sai na cigaba da mafarkin" 

Na sake rufe idona tare da juya kaina gefe ina addu'ar neman Allah ya kara min kwarin gwiwa kar in wanka masa mari, shi bai san ma me nake yi ba sai yace "let me show you abinda ya faru a mafarkin" ya fada yana kokarin daidaita fuskarsa akan tawa, na tattaro duk karfin da yake gare ni na ture shi, kasancewar bai shirya hakan ba sai gashi ya fadi kasa a gefen gado "ouch" ya fada yana rike kugun sa, na mike tsaye ina gyara hijab din jikina. 

Ya bini da kallo "what was that for?" Nace "ka tashi kayi sallah" sai na fita na barshi.

A dakina na sake komawa sallaya ta, ina jinsa ya shigo ya kunna fitila sai kuma ya kashe ya fita, sai na jishi kuma ya fita masallaci. Yana fita na tashi nayi locking kofa ta dan nasan yadda ya fara abin nan yana dawowa daga masallaci nan zai taho. Ai kuwa yana dawowar nan yazo ya murda kofa ya jita a rufe ya dan yi knocking sau daya ban kula ba sai naji ya shiga nasa dakin. Na mayar da idona na rufe sannan na jingina kaina a jikin gado ina jera addu'ar neman karfin zuciya.

Sai da gari ya fara wayewa sannan na tashi na fita na shiga kitchen na soya plantain da kwai na dafa tea na kawo na ajiye akan dining table sannan na koma dakina na kwanta na lulluba kamar mai bacci. Zuwa can na jishi ya fito, ya sake shigowa dakina ya jima yana kallona sannan ya fita. 

An jima kadan ya sake dawowa, kamshin turaren ya sa na fahimci har yayi shirin fita. Ya durkusa a gaba na sannan ya bude lullubar da nayi "wai fushin ne kike yi har yanzu?" Na bude ido ina kallon sa sai naga fuskarsa ta chanja yanayi ta nuna alamar damuwa "subhanallah. Jidda kuka kikayi haka?" 

Na mayar da ido na na rufe ina jin ciwon yadda yake nunawa kamar ya damu da damuwata, ina ma dai zai fito da fuskarsa ta gaskiya ya wulakanta ni a gaban idona kamar yadda yake wulakanta ni a bayan idona? I mean akwai wulakancin da yafi wanda yake min a duk sanda ya kwanta da wata mace bayan ni?

Na dan bude bakina kadan nace masa "ba kuka nayi ba, kaina ne yake min ciwo" sai ya saka hannu ya dafa goshina "ga jikin ki ma yayi zafi wallahi. Tun yaushe?" Nace "jiya da dare" 

Ya danyi shiru "ba dan zanyi reporting taron da naje ba da sai in zauna in kula da ke, ga rashin lafiya ga yara kuma. Ko in ce Mama ta turo Mufida ta zauna miki kafin in dawo?" Na girgiza masa kai ina jin haushinsa yana kara lullube ni. Yace "ki ci abinci kisa magani, ba zan jima ba zan dawo reporting kawai zanyi kinji? In nazo sai inga yadda za'a yi da ciwon nan" ya fada yana murmushi "maybe ma ciwon nawa ne" ya karasa da dariya a muryarsa. 

Sai kuma naji ya hau kan gadon yayi kissing yayansa "wadannan sun sha fitina jiya duk sun kasa tashi" ban kula shi ba ya sauko ya fita, bai jima ba sai ya kuma dawowa "baki da lafiya amma har kika iya yi min abinci Jidda?" Na bude ido kawai ina kallon sa bance komai ba sai ya dawo ya sunkuyo yayi kissing dina "I love you. Allah yayi miki albarka" sannan ya tashi ya fita.

Na mayar da ido nana rufe ina jin hawaye suna fitowadaga cikin su. Ina ma inama, ina ma yadda Umar yake nuna wa a zahiri haka badini dinsa take, da nafi kiwa dace da miji a duniya amma kash......

Bai jima da tafiya ba yaran na sa suka tashi, daga nan nima a dole na tashi nayi musu wanka sannan muka fita na basu abinci na fara kuma aikin gyaran gida suna ta bata min da niyyar taya ni suke yi. Ina ta lissafin dawowar Umar dan nasan gab yake da dawowa da zarar sako na ya je gare shi. 

A cikin biyu daya zai faru, is either Bashir ya gaya masa abinda ya faru ko kuma shi ya bude messenger dinsa ya gani, wannan shine dalilin da yasa na barshi ban goge ba dan sakon ba na Bashir bane ba, it is more to him, shi Bashir kawai sanarwa ce dan yasan na sani ya daina raina min hankali. 

Har na gama aikina sannan na samu guri na zauna, yayana at both sides of me ina jiran shigowar sa. 

A zaman da nayi a gurin sai na samu kaina da tunanin karuwan Umar. Ni bani da wani problem whatsoever da su saboda bani da hadi da su, Umar shi nake da problem da shi tunda shine mijina, infact ni tausayin su ma nake ji na yadda suka mayar da rayuwar su suka wulakanta kansu. Na tuno Zuwaira da confidence dinta sanda ta shigo gidan nan da yadda take gaya min cews Umar nata ne ita kadai, a karshe yayi mata dukan kawo wuka kuma ya rabu da ita. 

Na tuna wannan ƙaruwar da suke kira da Zahra, na tuna maganar da Umar yayi a kanta "duk balloons din kirjin sun sace" and they laughed, amfanin ta ya kare a wajen sa, and yayi watsi da ita like the trash da ta mayar da kanta. 

Dukkan su biyun nan da ma wadanda ban sani ba kuma bana fatan sani, babu wani string da yake attached tsakanin su da Umar, baya son su ko kadan amfanin su a gurinsa kawai a kan gado ne su biya masa bukatar sa in ya gaji da su ko kuma ya samu wadda ta fi su yayi watsi da su kamar shara, har da tukuicin cin mutunci.

To wacce irin rayuwa ce wannan suka jefa kansu a ciki? Saboda dan abin duniyar da zai basu wanda ba tabbatar va zai amfane su ba a duniya da kuma a lahira tunda babu albarka a cikin sa. 

Ina ma dai zan iya yi musu magana da su da masu hali irin nasu dana tuna musu da cewa mazan nan fa da suke bata rayuwar su saboda su babu wani abu mai kama da soyayya a tsakanin su, in fact, kamar ma basu dauke su a matsayin mutane ba in nayi la'akari da maganar da Bashir yayi akan ita Zahra 

"She was once your favorite pet"

"Pet" for goodness sake a matsayin abinda suka dauke su kenan "pet" "dabba" 

Sannan kuma yace "ya kayan da na aiko maka da su?" 

"Kaya"? 

I hope za su ga irin wadannan messages din maybe da sun fahimci matsayin su a gurin maza irin Umar da Bashir.

Ina zaune  naji tsayuwar motar sa, Yasmin ta mike da sauri tayi hanyar bakin kofa tana murnar zuwansa kamar yadda take yi kullum. 

"Daddy! Daddy"

Sai ya bude kofa ya shigo kamar wanda aka jeho shi daga sama. Idanuwan sa a waje kirjinsa yana dagawa da sauka da sauri, kofofin hancinsa suna budewa da rufewa da sauri. 

Na mike tsaye muna kallon juna, tabbas sako na ya isa gare shi. 

"Jidda!" 

Ya kira sunana without noticing Yasmin da ta makalkale kafarsa, yayinda Asad shima ya rarrafa inda yake da sauri yana murna. Soo innocent.

Na zauna tare da nuna masa kujerar da take kallon waddanake zaune a akai. 

"Bismillah. Ka zauna muyi magana" 

Ya saka hannu ya dauki Asad, sannan ya kamo hannun Yasmin suka karaso inda nake, sannan ya nuna wa Yasmin hanyar daki "go and play mamana" sai ta tafi da gudu, ya sauke Asad shima sai yabi bayan Yasmin din. Maimakon ya zauna kamar yadda nace din sai yayi kneeling a gaba na tare da fara kokarin kamo hannu na, na janye hannaye na gefe sannan nace "ka ga sakona kenan?" 

Yayi shiru bai ce komai ba, fuskarsa kamar duk sanda na kama shi da laifi irin wannan, cike da tashin hankali. "Jiddah ki tsaya inyi miki bayani" na girgiza kaina ina kara rike hawaye na. "Bana bukata. Bayani in dai daga bakin ka zai fito kuma akan wannan maganar bana bukatar jin sa. Na tsane ka Umar, bana son ganin ka tsantsanin ka nake ji"

Ya dafe kansa "innalillahi wa inna ilaihir rajiun. Jidda ina sonki kin sani, ina sonki Jidda fiye da rayuwata" na tura shi baya da hannuwa na biyu "so? So kake yi min magana akai Umar? Soyayya indai irin taka ce Allah wadaran ta Umar, ko makiya na ban musu fatan samun soyayya irin ta ka wadda babu komai a cikin ta sai tarin dacin rai da kuna zuciya"

"Wallahi Umar ba dan daga jikinka Yasmin da Asad suka fito ba da yanzu wata maganar akeyi ba wannan ba. Da jiya babu abinda zai hana inyi screenshot na maganganun batsar ku da Bashir inyi posting a facebook tare da tagging dinku da duk wadanda suka san ku"

"Amma kasancewa ta uwa ba zai barni inyi hakan, dab bata sunan ka yana nufin bata sunan yayana, wanda a yanzu su kadai ne link din da nake dashi da kai. Wannan kuma shi yasa nake zaune a gidan nan a yanzu, dan su ba dan kai ba. Amma ina so ka sani cewa zaman da zanyi saboda su shima yana da iyaka, akwai lokacin da zan dauke su mu bar maka gidan ka, ka rubuta ka ajiye ranar tana nan zuwa in dai har baka dawo kan hanya ba"

"Na baka chance na farko saboda kowa a duniya yana bukatar second chance, Na baka third chance saboda ina sonka a lokacin, wannan soyayya ta saka naji ina saka ran zaka shiryu muyi rayuwa har mu tashi a lahira mu cigaba da rayuwa a matsayin mata da miji a aljanna"

"Yanzu kuma zan jera maka wasu sharadai guda uku, idan ka bisu shine zan sake baka wani chance din, idan kuma kaki kamar yadda na fada maka zan dauke yayana dan bazan bari su tashi a cikin kazantar rayuwa irin ta ka ba" 

Da sauri ya gyada kai "say it. Ki fadi ko menene kike so inyi wallahi zanyi" ban kula da marairaice war da yayi da kalar tausayin da yayi ba na cigaba

"Na farko zaka rabu da Bashir, da duk wani abokin da kuke irin wannan harkar da shi, zaka yanke duk wata mu'amala da take tsakanin ku"

Ya gyada kai "na yarda"

Na cigaba "na biyu zaka daina social media. Duk wani social media account dinka zaka rufe shi ba zaka kara budewa ba har sai ni da kai mun tabbatar da cewa ka bude wani sabon shafi a rayuwar ka, shafi mai kyau"

Ya sake cewa ya amince

Nace "na uku. Zaka kara aure"

Ya bude ido sannan ya girgiza kai da sauri fuskarsa cike da mamaki "aure? Aure fa kika ce Jidda. Ki rufa min asiri kiyi hakuri amma ba zan iya kara aure ba wallahi" nace "lallai kuwa zaka shirya rayuwa kai kadai a gidan nan dan ni kam ba zan iya cigaba da zama da kai a haka ba haka zalika yayana ba zasu zauna da mazinaci a matsayin uban su ba" 

Yace "naji zan rabu da Bashir, naji zan daina social media amma Jidda ba zan iya aure ba Jidda ba zan iya yi miki kishiya ba kin sani" nace "kishiya? Kishiya fa kake magana? Kishiyoyi nawa ka riga kayi min already a waje wadanda ban san da zaman su ba? Bana jin ko mata uku zaka aura a rana daya zanji zafin da nake ji yanzu a zuciyata, idan kayi auren duk randa baka tare da ni at least nasan dawa kake tare na kuma san cewa ita din da kai kadai take tare ba sharing kuke yi kai da abokan ka ba"

Yace "to saboda me zanyi auren ne wai? Na fahimci argument dinki akan abokai da media amma ban fahimci dalilin kara aure ba, I have got you Jidda, you are all I want and I need, bana bukatar wata mace kuma..." 

Nace "I am not good enough for you Umar, tunda har zaka tsallake ni duk da rokon da nayi maka akan ka tafi dani amma kaki ka dauki karuwa ka tafi da ita then na tabbatar da abinda na jima ina doubting, cewa nayi maka kadan" 

Ya saka hannunsa a cikin gashinsa, fuskarsa tayi jawur yace "wallahi Jidda kin ishe ni, duniya da lahira kin ishe ni, you are more than enough for me matsalar ba daga gare ki bane ba daga gare ni ne, I am so stupid and so greedy and so selfish and so ......" 

Na mike "yes, duk wadannan sunayen ka ne kuma bayan su din akwai wadansu da yawa wadanda suka fi wadannan muni ma, nauyin igiyar auren ka da take wuyana ce kawai ta saka ba zan zauna in kira ka da sunayen daya bayan daya ba, amma ka sani ni na gama magana, ko dai kayi abubuwan nan guda uku dana lissafa maka ko kuma ka neme mu ni da yara ka rasa, in zamu tafi kuma zamu biya gurin Mama da Baba a hanya mu rattaba musu bayanin dukkan halayyar ka sannan mu kara gaba. Zabi ya rage naka"

Na wuce daki da sauri, ya biyo ni yana kiran sunana amma ban amsa ba kuma ban waiga ba har na shiga dakina sannan na turo kofa, sai kuma na jingina a jikin kofar ina barin hawayen da nake rikewa suna karasa fitowa, na jishi ya zo bakin kofar yana kiran sunana amma bankula shi ba kuma ko da nayi niyyar kulashin ma banajin muryata zata fito saboda sheshshekar kukan da nake yi 

"Jidda dan Allah kar ki rufe kanki a daki, kin san baki da lafiya in ciwon ki ya tashi ya zanyi?"

Sai na zame na kwanta a bakin kofar na cigaba da kuka na har ya gaji da magiyar sa ya tafi. 

Na jima anan sai kuma na tuna da yayana, na tuna cewa zasu iya jin yunwa kuma ban dora abinci ba sai na mike na shiga toilet na wanke fuskata tare da noticing yadda idona ya kumbura, na fita na tarar da su a falo Yasmin tana wasa da wayar Umar Asad kuma yayi bacci akan kujera, Umar kuma bansan inda yake ba. 

Sai na shiga kitchen na dora ruwa akan wuta duk da bansan me zan dafa ba sannan na dauko tumatur da albasa na fara yayyanka wa, ban jima ba na yanke hannuna, na cigaba sai na sake yankewa again wannan karon deep dan gar jini yana fita sosai. Na tafi sink ina wanke hannun sai ga Yasmin ta shigo tana kallona tace "Mommy yunwa. Zan sha tea"

Na dauke ta na dora ta a sama nace "sorry mama, bara in hada miki kinji?" Sai na dauko cup na sauko da kayan tea na fara hada mata, har na gama na mika mata ta karba tana kallona sannan naji tace "mommy kin sa yaji a tea"

Na karbi cup din daga hannunta cikin mamaki sai kawai naga ashe yaji na zuba mata instead of milo, madara na zuba mata da sugar da yaji, ba dan Allah ya saka mai yawo bace ba da Allah kadai yasan abinda zai faru da ita. Nayi sauri na zubar da tea din da sauri sannan na dauke ta na rungume a kirjina ina jin hawaye na suna dawowa. Ta dago kai tana kallona "mommy kuka?" Na girgiza kaina "idona ne yake ciwo Yasmin" sai ta goge min hawayen tace "ki daina kuka kisha magani" na ajiye ta nace "to Yasmin" 

Sai ta kuma cewa "mommy tea" na dauko wani cup din na sake hada mata, making sure wannan karon ban zuba yajin ba sai na mika mata ta zauna a kasa tana sha.

A lokacin ya shigo, kallo daya zaka yi masa ka fara tunanin tambayarsa ya jiki? Dan zaka dauka daga asibiti aka sallamo shi.

"Jidda ina so muyi magana please"

Na juya bayana ina mayar da kayan tea din dana sauko da su nace "babu maganar da zamu yi tunda har baka shirya barin abarka a cikin wandonka ba" ya juya ya kalli Yasmin da take bin mu da kallo sannan ya tashe ta zaune yace "mamana je ki falo ki sha tea acan kinji?" Ta kalle ni sannan ta juya ta fita.

"Jidda dan Allah mu daina irin wannan maganar a gaban Yasmin, kin san dai yawo ne da ita ko"

Na juyo ina kallon sa da mamaki a fuskata nace "wai kana nufin ka damu  da tarbiyyar Yasmin? Ka damu da ita ka damu da lafiyar tunaninta? Kuma kake aikata abinda kake aikatawa bayan nasan kasan in baka daina ba kanta zai dawo?"

"Of course she is young yanzu amma dole watarana zata girma. Mai zakaji idan ka rasa gane kanta sai daga baya ka fahimci wani katon ne can daban yake hure mata kunne yana kaita gidan gona yana lalata da ita?"

Ya tako da sauri zuwa gabana ya saka hannunsa ya toshe bakina, idonsa kamar zai fado kasa, na kwace bakina nace "dole in fada maka dan shine reality din abinda zai fari damu in har baka daina ba. Annabi ne ya fada bani ba kuma kasan babu makawa in dai annabi ya fadi abu sai ya kasance. Yace duk wanda yayi zina da ya, mata, kanwa ko uwar wani shima sai anyi da nasa. Duk wadanda kake mu'amala dasu yayan wasu ne, kannen wasu ne, yayyen wasu ne, kuma nan gaba zasu zama matan wasu kuma iyayen wasu. To tabbas kuwa kaima sai an taba naka"

"Ya zakaji idan watarana ka dawo gidan nan ka tarar da ni da wani kato a kance turmi da tabarya akan gadon ka?"

Ya daga ido yana kallona, at first na dauka dukana zai yi saboda yadda idonsa ya juye amma sai naga baiyi komai ba sai numfashi da yake mayarwa, na cigaba 

"Ya zakaji kuma idan ka bada order akawo maka "mai dan kwari haka, young" sai aka kawo maka Mufida?"

Na matsa daga kusa dashi, bana so inyi misali da Mama saboda duk da abinda Umar yayi min Mama is still like a mother to me, ba zan iya bada wannan misalin da ita ba nace "idan baka daina kayi taubatun nasuha ba, wadannan abubuwan dana lissafa maka tabbas babu makawa sai sun faru, ba wai ina gaya maka bane ba saboda na damu da kai ba, a'a ina gaya maka ne saboda na damu da kaina kuma na damu da mutanen dana lissafa. Idan da ace a kanka kawai zai kare da ko daga kai ba zan kuma yi in kalle ka ba ballantana har inyi kokarin ganin ka gyara rayuwar ma. You can rote in hell for all I care"

Na juya na bar kitchen din na koma dakina, harvna kwanta sai kuma na tuno cewa na bar gas a kunne sai na dawo na tarar dashi a tsaye still a gurin ya hada kansa da bango na wuce shi na kashe gas din na koma daki na kwanta. 

Ina kwance naji shigowar sa, ban juyo ba ballantana in kalle shi, ya zauna a bakin gadon daga bayana yace 

"Jidda, duk abinda kika fada akan zina haka ne, na sani, na kuma san baki yi kuskure ba, sai dai abu guda daya da baki fada ba kuma wanda nake tunanin baki sani ba shine; sex is an addiction. Addiction ne kuma mai matukar wahalar bari musamman ga wanda ya fara tun kafin ya gama hankalin kansa, someone like me. Musamman kuma in a society like ours inda ba'a bawa abin muhimmanci ba and sex is offered freely at every corner, ga wanda ba addict bane ba ma it is tempting ballantana ga wanda yake already addicted to it"

"Ban san me yasa zan gaya miki wannan ba amma dai zan gaya miki anyways, I am a sex addict. I had my first sexual experience lokacin da nake ss3, lokacin ina Lagos, with a girl da ba ma zan iya tuna sunanta ba ballantana kamanninta. I thought mistake ne nayi kuma nayi wa kaina alkawarin ba zan sake yi ba sai kuma nazo na sake din, I did it again and again. Babu wanda ya sani saboda babu wanda yake kalla ballantana ya gani. Mama da sisters dina suna nan Kano, Baba was busy da business dinsa yadda bama haduwa ma sai dare, babu wanda yasan halin da nake ciki ballantana ya ce min Umar bari, sometimes I wish wani zai ganni yayi min fada yace in bari, maybe da ban kai inda nake a yanzu ba"

"Sanda na dawo kano na shiga jami'a it became worst, saboda yammata were practically throwing themselves at me, and it was so tempting ko da ga wanda bai fara bane ba ma rayuwar jami'a sex is tempting ballantana ga wanda ya riga ya dandana yaji. All I could do a lokacin was to hide it, in boye kar wanda ya sani in cigaba da abina kawai ai watarana zan daina, I thought in na bar jami'a zan daina tunda zan rabu da yammatan"

"Sai dai I was wrong, sanda na bar jami'ar ban daina ba saboda an tura ni India kuma, inda babu ma wanda zan boyewa ko da zanyi din dan babu wanda ya damu da me na ke yi. Da na dawo kuma kudi ya fara shigowa hannuna dan haka ko ban samu ba zan iya amfani da kudi na ina siya, ballantana sai dai in van nema ba dan most of yammatan will just give someone like me for free, magana kawai zan tsara in gaya musu shikenan, ni kuma na cigaba daga inda na tsaya telling myself cewa idan nayi aure zan daina"

"And then I met and married you. I thought karshen kazantacciyar rayuwata yazo kenan but my past won't let me rest, abinda nayi a baya ya dawo ya cigaba da hunting dina shaidan ya cigaba da yaki dani yana kokarin ya cironi daga sabuwar rayuwa ta ya mayar da ni tsohuwar. Ba zaki taɓa fahimta ba Jidda, ba zaki taba fahimtar what I have been going through ba amma kamar yadda na gaya miki a asibiti lokacin haihuwar Asad shine I have been trying to stop, kuma nayi succeeding to some extent din da ba zaki gane ba dan daga auren mu zuwa yanzu bana jin affairs din da nayi having a waje zasu kai adadin yatsun hannuna daya"

"Idan da zakiyi min adalci ina so ki tambaya a groups din ku na mata na social media, zasuyi miki bayanin cewa yawancin maza masu aure da suke neman mata basa iya kula matan su na gida saboda sun riga sunyi satisfying kansu a waje zasu dawo gida ne basu da bukata kuma. Amma ke zaki bani shaida akan yadda muke da ke. Akan yadda nake makale miki duk akan kokari na na ganin nayi satisfying kaina a gurinki yadda in na fita ba zanyi sha'awar wata ba kuma. Duk da yammatan suna zuwa, da yawan su ma zuwa suke yi su kawo kansu da kansu amma in zaki tuna nakan taho daga office in zo gida gurinki a lokuta da dama ba wai dan na gama aiki ba sai dan ina bukatar ki"

"Bashir zai iya yi min wannan shaidar amma ba zan kira shi ba saboda nasan ba zaki yarda da shi ba, tun haihuwar Asad nayi cutting dinsa off, kullum mita yake yi min cewa na bar harkar ni kuma sai in kirkiri wani uzurin in bashi, idan zaki tuna a hirar mu da kika karanta yana yi min complain cewa tunda nayi aure na koyi iyayi da taste, saboda kullum in yayi min tayin mace sai na samu abinda na kushe nata saboda kawai ya rabu da ni, na kan nuna masa ni matata tafi kowa, wannan ne yasa a hirar mu kika ji yace in tafi da matar tawa mana?" 

"Kuma wallahi Jidda, wallahi, tun haihuwar Asad, tun sanda nayi miki wannan alkawarin ban kuma ba sai wannan zuwan da nayi Zariya. Jidda sharrin shaidan ne, shaidan ne ya nuna min cewa ba zan iya tafiya daku ba saboda ba lallai a bamu masauki mai kyau ba ni kuma ba zan iya ajiye ku a guri marar kyau ba. Sannan kuma ya nuna min cewa ba zan iya kwana uku babu mace ba"

"Amma wallahi Jidda, tun kafin ki gani, tun kafin ki san abinda ya faru nayi nadamar faruwar sa, tun kafin in shigo gidan nan nayi blocking contact din yarinyar saboda ma kar ta kirani in zama tempted. In baki yarda ba ga wayata ki duba ki gani"

Still bance masa komai ba, 

Sai ya hawo kan gadon sosai ya kwanta a bayana sannan ya saka hannayensa ya jawo ni jikinsa ya matse ni a kirjinsa, na fara kokarin dukansa da guiwar hannuna amma sai ya hade hannyenmu a guri daya sannan ya rungume ni da su duk hudun, ya kifa fuskar sa a tsakiyar bayana ya kama kuka 

"Dan Allah Jidda kiyi hakuri kar ki ce zaki tafi ki karbi, Jidda in kika barni ban san me zan zama ba kuma, ba zan iya rayuwa babu ke ba kin sani. Ina sonki fiye da yadda nake son kaina Jidda. Kin ce kin tsane ni ba kya so na. Kince ba kyason ganina kuma na yarda da haka, amma ban yarda ba kya sona ba ban yarda kin tsane ni ba dan idan da akwai abinda na yarda da shi bayan son da nakeyi miki to son da kike yi min ne. Dan Allah ki taimaka min Jidda albarkacin soyayya kar ki juya bayan ki gare ni, kar ki kuma cewa kin tsane ni ba zan iya dauka ba..........."

Na ture shi da karfi na na mike zaune ina ja da baya daga gare shi.

"Can ta matse maka a matsematsin matsalar ka. Duk maganganun ka suna shiga ta kunnen hagu ne suna fita ta kunnen dama. Ni dai na gama gaya sharudai na guda uku in ka bisu zan cigaba da zama da kai ba dan halin ka ba sai dan yayan mu"

Ya mike yana rike hannuna "naji na yarda da duk abinda kika ce, sharadin farko ba kin ce in rabu da Bashir ba? I just wrote my resignation letter gobe ina fita zan printing in kai masa, na daina aiki a karkashin sa kuma na daina kula shi. Na biyu kince in daina social media ko?" 

Sai ya dauko wayarsa daga aljihunsa ya zare sim cards dinsa guda biyu ya kakkarya su ya watsar sannan ya bude hannuna ya saka min wayar "na daina rike waya ma gabaki daya"

"Amma maganar aure, Jidda kiyi hakuri ba zan iya ba. Bazan iya kawo mace gidan nan in hada ki da ita ba"

Shigowar Yasmin ta katse maganar da na yi niyyar debowa in yaɓa masa, ta kalle ni sannan ta kalle shi "Daddy kuka? Sai ya saki hannuna ya sauka daga kan gadon ya dauke ta yana cewa "ba kuka nake ba, ido nane yake ciwo" ta taba idon "Daddy ka sha magani" yace "to uwata, muje ki bani maganin in sha".



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*wannan littafin na siyarwa ne bisa amana, idan baki siya ba kar ki karanta, idan kuma kin siya kar ki sharing, in kika yi kinci amana kuma ke da Allah*

*A Wise Decision*

Bayan fitarsu na tashi na zauna sosai, pillow rungume a kirjina ina going over maganganun Umar ina so in tace gaskiya daga cikin karyar da na tabbatar akwai a cikin maganganun nasa, part of me sai naji yana so ya yarda da wadansu dag cikin maganganun sa amma wani part din, the wiser part, yayi condemning fite da rabi na maganganun sa duk kuwa da cewa babu wani abu a ciki da zai nuna min karya yake yi.

He opened up and accepted abinda ni already na riga nayi accepting, wannan nasan gaskiya ne amm abinda ban yarda dashi ba shine the fact that he wants to change and is doing all his best ya ga ya chanja din, idan da haka ne ni zan sauko and we will work together har ya chanja din, zanyi hakuri kuma zan dage har mu samu nasara, together. 

But matsalar shine da gaske yake yana son ya daina din? Wannan shine bangare na maganar sa wanda ban yarda da shi ba kuma kamar wancan karon abinda ya saka ban yarda da shi ba shine yanayin yadda suke magana da Bashir, babu alamar cewa sun yarda abinda suke yi ba dai-dai ba ne ba kuma mutum ba zai taba gyara kuskuren sa ba har sai ya yarda cewa kuskure ne yake yi din. 

But Umar seemed to be enjoying what he was doing. 

But yace min zaiyi resigning daga aiki a clinic din Dr Bashir kuma zaiyi cutting off all ties da shi. Da gaske yake? Nasan Umar da Bashir kamar hanta da jini ne anya kuwa zai iya rabuwa da shi kawai dan nace masa ya rabu da shi? Ko kuma wani plan din yaudarar ne yake shirin bullo da shi. 

Ni kaina sanda na shirya sharudai na rabuwa da Bashir shine abinda nafi tunanin zai fi yi masa wahala amma kuma sai gashi shine abu na farko daya fara accepting. 

Na bude hannuna ina kallon wayarsa daya saka min a ciki sannan na kalli sim cards dinsa daya kakkarya ya zubar. Da gaske yana willing to give up this saboda yana so ya shiryu ko kuma yayi hakan ne saboda ni? In har saboda ni yayi wannan ya kara nuna min irin son da yake min but it also means he is not ready to change, tunda change din zai fara shine from within himself ba wai from how I see him ba. 

Na saka hannu na danne power din yawar na kashe ta, zan gani, zan ga how long zaiyi lasting babu waya a hannunsa, amma zan saka ido sosai dan zai iya siyan wata ya boye a office ko a motar sa ya cigaba da wayarsa idan bana gani. Wanda in yayi haka zai kara tabbatar min da cewa bai shirya chanjawar ba tunda ni ce baya son in gani ba Allah ba.

Har na saka phone din a cikin wardrobe sai kuma na fito da ita na ajiye akan mirror, let's see idan zai dauka. Na shiga toilet nayi alwala na fito nayi sallar azahar da naji an fara a masallaci.

Har dare bai kuma fita ba, masallaci kawai yake zuwa ya dawo ya zauna tare da ƴaƴan sa suyi wasa, ni kuma ranar kusan a daki na wuni saboda bana son zama tare da shi, ganinsa kawai bata min rai yake yi kuma na kara tabbatar wa da kaina cewa in Umar ya kuma yin halinsa tabbas sai na aikata matakin dana shirya a matsayin third step dina, ba zai yi mana dadi ba dukkan mu amma dole zanyi hakan dan samun mafita.

Da dare na hada masa ruwan wanka kamar yadda na saba sai kuma na dauki yayana na tafi dakina da niyyar yi musu wanka sai kawai na rufe kofa ta daga nan. Ina yi musu wanka suka yi bacci nima nayi shirin kwanciya nayi kwanciya ta. Ina jinsa yazo ya taba kofar, sai kuma ya tafi, and I couldn't help but salute his rashin kunya da har zaiyi tunanin zan hada shimfida dashi a daren ranar da nayi finding out abinda yayi kuma yayi confessing da bakin sa. 

Sai dai baccin yaki zuwa min, na saka na warware tafi a kirga, nayi tsaki ina tuno da yadda ya saka fuskarsa a baya na yana kuka da rokon kar in tafi in barshi kamar yadda na fada, I never thought a man like him can cry like that sai a kansa, na tuno da kalmar da ya fada ta cewa yana sona fiye da yadda yake son kansa. Ya kuma ce wai ya san nima ina sonsa kuma wai I didn't mean it sanda nace na tsane shi.

Nayi tsaki, wato takamar sa kenan? Cewa ina sonsa? Yana ganin kamar ba zan iya rabuwa da shi ba? Lallai kuwa zai sha mamaki na wallahi dan ina gab da rabuwa dashi din in dai yayi exhausting dukkan matakan dana shirya zan dauka ba tare da ya gyaru ba.

But sai na samu kaina da tambayar kaina cewa anya zan iya din? Idan lokacin yazo duk da ban fatan zuwanshi zan iya din? Ba wai rabuwa da Umar din bane kadai, duk da shima babban abu ne a gurina but rayuwar da zan fuskanta idan na rabu da shi din, rayuwar da yayan mu zasu fuskanta idan iyayen su basa tare. 

I can't imagine rayuwa ba tare da yayana ba, kuma na tabbatar idan har na rabu da shi din, idan har nayi succeeding gurin rabuwa dashi din, wanda shi kansa rabuwar ma nasan ba karamin yaki zanyi ba kafin in same ta, to tabbas ba za'a bar min yayana ba shi za'a bawa.

And I wonder why is that so.........

Me yasa ake bawa uba yaya idan an samu rabuwar aure.

Me yasa????????????

Ganin baccin ya gagara zuwa sai kawai na tashi nayi alwala na fara kai kukana gurin ubangiji, na sani shi kadai ne zaiyi min dukkan abubuwan da nake bukata dan ni ba zan iya ba.

Washegari ma n shirya masa breakfast kamar yadda na saba amma ban zauna ba sai tayi tafiya ta na shiga wanka. Ina fitowa ya shigo ya shirya tsaf sai ya tsaya a bayan yadda nake iya hango shi ta madubin gabana yace 

"Zan fita Jidda"

Nayi kamar ban ji shi ba. 

Sai ya sake matsowa jikina yace "zanje office, akwai abubuwan da ban karasa ba jiya su nake so inje in karasa, after na gama zasu dan bani hutu ko na two days ne inje in huta. Sannan zan je gurin Bashir zan kai masa takardar nan dana gaya miki na rubuta. Kina so ki karanta kafin in kai masa?"

Na girgiza kaina "menene nawa a ciki? Nace dai ka zaba ko shi ko ni kuma......."

Yace "kuma I chose you. Shikenan." Nayi shiru ina kallon sa, trying to read idanuwan sa ko akwai abinda yake boyewa amma banga komai ba, ya sake matsowa har jikinsa yana gogar nawa yace "a kwana biyun da zasu bani off, ina so mu samu fahimtar juna Jidda, ina so mu sake magana sosai kuma ina son jin duk abinda yake zuciyarki" 

Nace "ni na riga na gama maganar duk da zanyi maka ai, sauran maganganun da zasu fito daga bakina zuwa gare ka ba zasu wuce bakaken maganganu da kuma name calling ba, which I don't want to because you are my husband" 

Sai naga ya danyi murmushi yace "I am your husband and you love me" naji kamar in shake shi nace "not anymore" sai ya daga kafada yace "shikenan I will be the one doing the talking in ke ba kya son yin maganar"

nace "ba wai magana ce kadai bana son yi da kai ba, har muryar ka ma bana son ji please, tana sani inji kamar zanyi amai. Please ka rike kayarka a cikin cikin ka ko kuma ka samu inda zaka fesar da ita kamar yadda kake samun inda zaka juye sauran abubuwan ka. Ni dai na gama magana, na baka sharuda guda uku da zasu saka in zauna zaman yayana a gidan nan, notice this please, ba wai zamanka zanyi ba na yaya na zanyi, shi yasa nace kayi aure dan ka samu wadda zata ke ragema nauyin kanka, ni kuma in samu wadda zamu raba bakin cikin ka tare, and maybe wadda zata iya chanja ka dan ni bazan iya ba, ban kai wannan matsayin ba"

Na karashe ina rike kugu ina jiran ya biye min muyi rigima amma sai yace "okay, na fara late, you can tell me all that in na dawo and more, duk abinda yake ranki ki fada you are welcome. Ni kuma I will show you how wrong you are akan maganar auren nan. I can't do it, shikenan, and I am the boss here"

Na zabga masa harara sai ya sake murmushi "look Baby dove, kin bani sharuda uku nayi biyu, ko exams ce ai ina ganin nayi passing ko?" Nace "exams? Abinda ka dauki maganar nan kenan? Ina magana ne fa akan rayuwar mu baki daya, rayuwar ka da tawa da ta yayan mu, menene more important than these?"

Ya sake kallon agogon hannun sa, yace "in na dawo, we will talk more. Sai mu samu wani abu da za'a iya substituting auren dashi. And maganar tafiyar nan da nace miki zamuyi in na samu annual leave dina, ina son sauko da date din ya dawo kusa, da ina da isassun kudi ma da kasar zamu bari mu dan huta ko"

Takaici ma yasa na rasa me zance masa. Sai ya dan rage tsaho yayi kissing kafada ta. "Sai na dawo" nayi sauri na dauko tissue na goge inda yayi kissing din sannan na jefe shi da tissue din, sai yayi dariya sannan ya janye towel din jikina yayi kissing tsakiyar bayana sai kuma ya ja da baya da sauri yana dariya "let's see you clean that" na dauko tissue na fara kokarin gogewa gashi kuma ina rike da towel bana son ya fadi. 

Sai na juya ina kallon sa ina huci "Allah ya baki hakuri. Ni na tafi" ya juya ya fita. Na zauna a gefen gado tare da dafe kaina, it is so frustrating idan mutum ya kulla maka abin bakin ciki, kana so ka huce shi kuma yaki baka damar hucewar, pretending as if babu abinda ya faru.

Sanda ya tashi dawowa sai gashi tare da Mufida, tace min har gida yaje ya dauko ta wai yana missing dinta tazo ta kwanar mana biyu. Tana fada nasan dalilin da yasa yayi haka. Wato yasan idan Mufida tana gidan dole zan ke kulashi ko dan ganin idonta, kuma dole zan je in kwana a dakinsa ko dan ganin idonta. 

Nayi kwafa ni kadai, in nayi a gaban ta ai ba zanyi a bayan idonta ba ko? Kuma ko a gaban nata ne ma magana ce kawai bana iya mayar masa amma bana wani kula shi, yayi ta kamo ni yana ta playing lovy dovy ita kuma tana ta washe baki wai ita irin yayanta ya hadu din nan. 

Dare nayi ta debi yara ta tafi dakina kamar yadda ta saba duk sanda tazo gidan, bata jima da kwanciya ba na leka naga sunyi bacci sai na fito na dawo guest room na gyara nayi shimfida sannan na koma dakin na dauko Asad na kwantar dashi nayi shirin kwanciya ta na kwanta abina. Nayi bacci na mai kyau, ban farka ba sai assuba, ina juyi naji mutum a jikina, na bude ido na ganshi a cikin bargona yana ta sharar baccinsa, nayi tsaki ina jin haushin kaina da ban rufe kofar ba.

Ya bude ido yana kallona sai yace "alhamdulillahillazi ahyana ba'ada ma amata na wa ilaihin nushur. Haka ake cewa in an tashi daga bacci va tsaki akeyi ba" na mike zaune ina jan jiki na daga gare shi, a raina ina tunanin sai nayi wa jiki na wankan tsarki saboda taba nin da yayi "tsakin ai involuntarily yake zuwa, musamman idan mutum ya ga abinda ya bata masa rai da sassafe" 

Na wuce na shiga toilet, sanda na fito baya nan sai na rufe kofa ta dan nasan zai iya dawo min in ya dawo daga masallaci ni kuma ganinsa ma bata min rai na yake yi ballantana magana da shi ko kuma ya kai ga taba ni.

Bayan na idar ma ban fita ba, har sai da gari ya waye sosai najiyo muryar Yasmin tana surutu sannan na fita dan nasan yanzu zata ce yunwa. A palo na same su tana zaune a kan kafafuwan sa tana masa surutu shi kuma yana sit up da sauri da sauri, na dauke kaina ina tuno lokacin da nake zama a inda ta zauna shi kuma yana kissing dina idan ya taso zaune. Those are the good old days, bana jin zamu koma kamar yadda muke a da ni da Umar, har abada.

Na shiga kitchen na fara tunanin abinda zanyi mai sauki dan yau bana jin zan iya wani dogon aiki, sai gashi ya shigo kitchen din yana goge gumin fuskarsa. Na kalle shi na dauke kai sai yace "babu gaisuwa?" Na juya na watsa masa harara sai yayi murmushi "lafiya lau na tashi, ke fa?" Still bance komai ba na kunna gas na dora ruwa. 

Sai ya zo ya tsaya a gaba na. 

"Maganar jiya nake so mu karasa kafin maganaɗisun can ta tashi (Mufida)" na rike kugu "ohhhhh ashe kasan maganaɗisun ce ka dauko ta a cikin wannan lokacin?" Yace "to ya zanyi? Na kasa saka murmushi a fuskar matata shi yasa na dauko ta ta tayani" nayi tsaki, yayi murmushi "bakin ki zai kara tsaho fa in kina yawan yin tsakin nan" nace "and? In ya kara tsahon ma kana da matsala ne? When there are a lot of bakunan da suke jiran ka a waje?" Yace "bani da matsala fa, I will even like it better in ya kara tsahon, I am just warning you kar nan gaba in damu bakin naki ki yi complain"

Na sake yin wani sakin, ni ban ma san sanda nake yi ba haushi ne yake isata, sai yayi dariya "wato so kike yi kenan ko? In dai kika sake to na gane kina so ya kara tsahon ne dan in kara son sa" na juyo da niyyar yi masa wani sai kuma na fasa, Umar really knows his ways with words. 

"Azo a bani ruwa inyi wanka. Dan Allah" ya fada yana langwabe kai "if possible ma sai azo a taya ni wankan, kinsan bana iya wanke bayana ya fita sosai" na juya ina kallon ruwan dana dora akan wuta, zuciyata tana gaya min in dauko shi in kwara wa Umar a kyakykyawar fuskar sa, maybe ma in yayi muni ko ya nemi matan ba zasu kula shi ba, ni kuma sai in cigaba da zaman yayana.

Amma banyi hakan ba sai nace "as you can see, ina aiki ne. Akwai ruwa a toilet din ka na zafi dana sanyi, kuma Allah ya baka hannaye guda biyu da zaka kunna sannan ya baka idon da zaka ga hanya sai kuma ya baka kafafuwan da zasu kaika har cikin toilet din, sai menene kuma?" 

Yace "sai yin wankan, Allah yasan na gaji ba zan iya yi ba sai ya bani matar da zata yi min" nace "watarana, ranar da kayi aure zaka samu matar da zata yi maka, idan ina aiki ita kuma sai tayi maka wanka, idan ba zaka iya yin tafiya dani ba sai ka tafi da ita. Problem solved" 

Ya kamo hannu na "wannan shine dalilin ki? Kina ganin da ace ina da wata matar da da ita zan tafi in ba zan tafi da ke ba? Wannan shine dalilin da yasa kika ce inyi aure?" Na tsaya ina kallon sa amma bance komai ba, zuciyata zafi take yi min sosai idan na kalle shi shi yada nake avoiding dinsa dan babu abinda nake gani a tare da shi sai wadansu munanan screenarios na shi da wata matar da ban ma san kamannin ta ba a Zariya. Na dauke kaina daga kallonsa ina jin hawaye suna tahowa idona sai kawai naji ni a kirjinsa ya rungume ni 

"I am sorry Jidda I really am sorry. Ban san ya zanyi in sanyaya miki zuciyarki ba Jidda wallahi da nasan yadda zanyi in goge miki abinda kike ji a ranki danayi, komai wahalar sa kuwa" na kwantar da kaina a kirjinsa ina cigaba da kukana silently nace "da kana son kar inji abinda nake ji, da tun farko ba zaka yi abinda kayi din ba, har rokon ka nayi Allah da Annabi ka tafi dani amma ka ki a kan wani dalili naka marar tushe ballantana madafa, ni fa matarka, duk inda aka baka ka zauna nima ai anan zan zauna ko da kuwa bakin titi ne kusa kwata. All what I wanted was to be with you. Shikenan. Amma ka ki saboda ka riga ka shiryawa kanka abinda zaka yi a can din. Yes, ka yarda kayi saboda na kama ka kayi din dan haka babu wata magana da zaka gayamin, amma zancen shine na farko tun haihuwar Asad ma bata taso ba, ka gaya min haka ne saboda wannan din kadai na sani and you want to keep it that way. Maganganun ka Umar kamar busar sarewa suke zuwa min a kunnuwa na, ga dadi, amma babu wata ma'ana a gurina" sai ma dago kaina daga kirjinsa ina kally fuskar sa "Jidda" na girgiza masa kai "don't start please, don't hurt me more please" sai kuma na hango shi rungume da wata mata, na fara kokarin kwace kaina "did you hug her like this too? Ka sake ni" na fada da dan karfi, ya cikani da sauri yana kallon kofar shigowa kitchen din, burinsa kar wani ya gani kar wani ya ji. 

Na nuna masa hanyar waje "fita ka bani guri dan a yanzu zuciyata babu abinda take so irin inyi maka rauni, kuma akwai makamai da yawa a cikin kitchen din nan dan haka ka fita tun ban chanja kammannin fuskarka ba"

Ya juya ya fita ni kuma na kifa kaina akan kanta da niyyar cigaba da kuka na sai kuma nayi saurin dago kai na goge hawaye na sannan na wanke fuskata da ruwa.

Sai na dauko indomie dai dai wadda zata ishe mu na bubbude na zuba a cikin roba sannan na juye ruwan zafin dana dora akai, na dan rufe ta kadan sannan na bude na saka fork na warware ta sai na tace ruwan sannan na sake rufewa dan zafin jikinta ya saka ta yi laushi dai dai misali ba wai dahuwa ba. 

Sai kuma na dauko attaruhu da albasa da koren tattasai na yayyanka, na bude na zuba akan indomie din sannan na fasa kwai mai dan yawa shima akai, sai kuma na zuba seasonings din indomie din na saka kayan kamshi na juya su sosai suka hade jikinsu sai na dora frying pan akan wuta na zuba mai kamar zan soya wainar kwai sai nake diban hadin indomie na ina zubawa ina soyawa on low heat. 

Sai da na gama gabaki daya na dafa tea na hada komai na kai kan dining table, sai a lokacin na tuno da Mufida, har yanxu bata tashi ba kuma ita ba gwanar dogon bacci bace ba dan normally kamar yanzu tana kitchen tare da ni tana min zance, sai na tafi dakin na same ta shame shame tana ta sharar baccin ta, na tabe baki kawai na dawo na hadawa yasmin abinci sannan fara aikin gyaran gida na, har ta gama ci ta tafi dakin daddyn ta sai kuma gata ta dawo wai inje Daddy yana kira na. 

Na juya ido, amma sai na tafi din, yana tsaye da towel a jikinsa "wanne kayan zan saka" na saki baki ina kallon sa sannan na nuna jikina nace "kayan jikina zaka cire ka saka a naka jikin" na fada cikin gatse, sai yayi murmushi "you got it" ya taho inda nake, na hade raina sosai tare da rike kugu "kar ka sake ka taba ni" yace "in na taba kin kuma fa? Huh? Nan ai babu makamin da kike magana akai" 

Fahimtar da nayi cewa bani da makamin kuma ya fini karfi kuma baya jin tsoron hura hancina ya saka na juya zan bar dakin sai yayi sauri ya tare hanya tare da murda key din jikin kofar yana min murmushin da nasan ma'anar sa, na nuna shi da hannuna "don't even try it. Idan kana tunanin zaka je ka gama taba mata a waje sannan ka dawo nima ka taba ni then you have another thinking to do. Ba zai yiwu ba Umar, ni ba bola bace ba ba kuma toilet bace ba dan haka ba za'a hada ni da kazanta ba" 

Yace "waye kika ji ya gaya miki haka? Ki fada min ko waye in dau mataki a kansa, because you are the purest thing ever. Kince baki yarda da magana ta ba amma ni ba zan daina gaya miki ita ba. Abinda duk na fada miki shekaran jiya shine gaskiyar magana. And you will understand hakan in kika bar kanki yayi tunanin because now you are thinking with your heart, ita kuma heart dinki yanzu is hurting dan haka komai nawa negative take ganin sa saboda ni ne nayi hurting din nata. Yes nayi abubuwa da dama a baya amma yanzu na daina, abinda ya faru da weekend din can tsautsayi ne.... " 

Nace "tsautsayi? Tsautsayi fa kace Umar?" Ya daga hannu "kuskure, kuskure ne that will never be repeated" na girgiza kaina "ba kuskure ba sai dai ince ganganci, saboda abu ne da kayi shi kana sane and you are regretting only because you are caught"

Ya jawo ni jikinsa "na gaya miki, I regretted it tun kafin in ganki, nayi blocking........" "Number dinta" na karasa masa "yes, ka gaya min haka, amma sanda zaka dauki wayarka kayi unblocking number din nata ka kuma kira ta will I be there?" Yace "ina wayar? Ji nake na baki ita" nace "sanda zaka shiga shago ka sayi wata wayar da wani sim card din ka ajiye a office din ka will I be there?" 

Ya girgiza kansa "you really don't trust me anymore, do you?" Na girgiza kaina "I don't, do you blame me?" Na ga alamar bacin rai a fuskar sa sai kuma ya girgiza kansa "ni kuma zan baki mamaki Jidda, ba lallai ki yarda ba amma bani da niyyar yin wata wayar har sai ranar da kika dauki wayata da kanki kika bani dan kina ganin lokaci yayi da zan rike wayar. Har sai ranar da kika yarda da ni. And yes, na rabu da Bashir, na kai masa takardar barin aiki a karkashin sa na kuma kwashe duk kayana da suke cikin asibitin sa, without a phone to contact me I think zamu iya rabuwa din gradually. It will be the hardest thing da na taba yi a rayuwa ta but I will do it for you. Don't you think I deserve something in return? Kamar yardar ki misali? Dan kin gaya min ba kyason karya na daina yi miki duk da nasan the truth will hurt you sometimes amma nake fada miki, still kuma baki yarda da gaskiyar ba uhmmm?" 

Na dauke kaina gefe, sai ya saka hannu ya juyo da fuskata yana rarraba ido akan fuskar tawa yace "look into my eyes ki gaya min cewa baki sona anymore, ki gaya min cewa kin tsane ni da gaske" na kalli idon nasa, remembering the first time I saw them, sai na rufe nawa idon na rufe. Duk kokari na na ganin cewa na kalli idon nasa na gaya masa abinda yace in fada din sai na kasa ko da kallon idon ne ballantana in fada din, zuciyata bugawa take da karfi, silently crying, 

Mun jima a haka, fuskata a hannun sa yana kallon na yayin da ni kuma idona yake a rufe ina sauraren yadda zuciya ta take lugude a cikin kirjina, ban ankara na sai jin bakinsa nayi akan nawa, hungrily kissing me, na kama fuskar sa da hannu biyu na tura ta baya tare da bude ido na da sauri na sauke su a kansa, "don't even think about it, in ma wani abu ne yake yi maka kaikayi sai dai kasan a inda zaka sosa shi ba anan ba"

Sai yayi dariya har da kwarewa, "my little darling, a ina kika koyi irin wannan maganar?" Na raba jiki na da nasa "oho, waya sani ne, zama da madaukin kanwa ne ya shafa min farin kai" ya sake matsowa yana langwabe kai "to yanzu ni ya zanyi da abinda yake min kaikayin?" Na daga kafada "oho maka, ko dai kayi raping dina ko kuma ka jika kanwa kasha, zabi ya rage naka" sai ya matsa daga bakin kofa sannan ya nuna min kofar "bismillah, I will never force you akan abinda ba kya so" 

Ban bashi amsa ba nazo na wuce shi na koma inda na kwana dan nasan Asad ya tashi ko kuma yana gab da tashi.

Haka rayuwa ta cigaba mana har dan hutun da aka bashi na kwana biyu ya kare ya cigaba da zuwa normal gurin aikinsa, clinic din Dr Bashir ne dai ya daina zuwa dan haka sai ya zamanto ko bayan ya koma office din stress baya yi masa yawa kuma yakan dawo gida da wuri.

Wayarsa tana nan har yanzu a gurina, sai dai na dauke ta daga dakina dan kar Mufida ta taba na mayar da ita dakinsa still na ajiye akan mirror ina kuma lura ko zai dauka amma bai dauka ba, duk da bani da tabbas din bai nemi wata a waje ya boye ba amma bani da hanyar sanin hakan inda ba kuda zan zama in ringa bin shi duk inda yayi ba. 

Ranar nan Mama ta kira ni tana ta fada "ina Umar? Menene amfanin wayarsa da zai kashe ta ayi ta nemansa ba'a samun shi? Wannan wanne irin shashanci ne?" Ban yi mata bayanin komai ba sai nace bara in kai masa wayata suyi magana tunda yana gida, na same shi a falo na badhi wayar nace "Mama ce take neman ka" ya karba ya saka a kunne, nasan fada take yi masa sai ya jira sai da ta gama sannan yace "Mama wayarce ta fadi, kuma sim dina yana ciki, na sayi wata already amma ban samu lokaci naje nayi welcome back din layi na ba shi yasa ba'a samu na" ya danyi shiru sannan yace "insha Allah, da na samu lokaci zanje in yi"

Na saki baki ina kallon sa ina mamakin yadda Umar yake iya tsara magana a lokaci daya ba tare da tangarda ba. Sai ya dago kai muka hada ido, ya gane mamakin da nake yi sai kawai yayi murmushi tare da kashe min ido. 

Na zauna ina jiran sa har suka gama maganar su sannan ya miko min wayata, na karba sannan nace "kasan dai bani na hana ka rike waya ba ko?" Ya daga kafada "nine nayi ra'ayi dan in nuna miki cewa zan iya rabuwa da abinda yafi social media ma" 

A wannan zaman da muka yi da Mufida na fahimci wani chanji sosai a game da ita, sai naga yanayin ta yana min kama da yanayin yaya Jamila lokacin da muka je muka kwana biyu a gidan su ni da Farhan. Always busy with her phone, surutun ma yanxu ta rage yi dan in ina so muyi hira sai dai in karbe wayarta. And sau da yawa in tace zata je ta kwanta da daddare sai na shiga dakin sai inga ba bacci take yi ba waya take yi, wayar da in na shiga ake katseta in na fita kuma a cigaba, and I decided cewa zanyi wa Umar magana akanta idan mun shirya, sai dai shiryawar tamu ce na yanke wani decision akanta wanda nasan ba zaiyi masa dadi ba. 

Sai da na tabbatar ya wanu, na kuma tabbatar ba zan iya cigaba da kwasar wa kaina zunubi ba dan Allah babu ruwan sa da abinda Umar yayi, zunubin sa daban nawa nima daban. I decided zan koma shimfidar sa, amma for that ina da sabon sharadin da zan saka masa. 

A ranar na shiga na gyara masa dakinsa, na wanke toilet nayi duk abinda na saba yi masa kafin mu samu sabani, tun daga nan ya fara saka rai, da dare har da zuwa ya siyo mana kaji muka hadu muka ci a falo da Mufida da yara, sannan kuma da lokacin bacci yayi na bishi zuwa dakin sa na kuma karbi bukatar sa.

Sai da naja ragamar sa ya gama sakankancewa ya gama rudewa shiga kawai yake so yayi daga ciki sannan na ture shi naja baya, ya zaro ido "Jidda, me kike yi haka? Menene kike yi haka? So kike ki kashe ni da raina is that it?" Na sauka daga kan gadon ina kallon sa nace "get your self a condom" 

Mamaki ya bayyana a fuskar sa yace "what?" Na gyada kai "kaji ni ai. Nan gurin, baka sake shigar sa sai da condom dan ba zaka kwaso cuta ka kwasa min ba" na fada ina mayar da kaya jikina, ya zamo daga kan gadon yana rike hannuna "haba Jidda, how? Ta yaya zaki ce inyi miki using condom you are my wife for God's sake" 

Nace "cuta bata gane prostitute da wife. Jikina hakkin ka ne in baka as long as akwak aure a tsakanin mu, wannan shine ya saka zan baka din. Amma lafiya ta hakkina ne in kula da ita in bawa kaina kariya. Kariyar kuwa a yanzu ita ce condom, get it, sai kazo ka karbi duk abinda kake so" 

Ya bata rai, ransa ya baci sosai dan zance ban taba ganin bacin ransa irin na ranar ba "yanzu ni kike tunanin zan dauko miki cuta Jidda, what do you take me for? Stupid or what? Kin dauka bani da hankali ne da ba zanyi using protection a waje ba ko me? Ji nake da cikin Asad ma sai da akayi miki tests har dana std kuma komai negative ne, na kuma gaya miki rabo na da abin nan tun........"

"Tun kafin a haufi Asad, sai a Zariya. Yes, ka fada min, amma ita ta zariyan na san ta ne? Na san dawa dawa ne suke juye kazantarsu a jikinta kafin kai ka juye taka?" 

"Kuma sai na gaya miki da skin dina naje mata?" 

"Ban sani ba kuma bana son in sani....ban tabbatar kana using protection din ba ko baka using, dan haka abinda nake so in tabbatar shine ni kayi using on me. Shikenan"

Ya sauko shima "haihuwa kuma fa? Ko shikenan mun daina haihuwa kike nufi?" Nace "Allah ya saka albarka a abinda muka samu, a wannan halin da muke ciki ma ni ba son kara wasi yayan nake yi ba, za kuma mu cigaba da haihuwa a lokacin da komai ya daidaita but not before" nayi kamar zan fita ya finciko ni ya hada ni da bango 

"You can't do this. I am your husband kuma ina bukatar ki now. Ina tarbiyyar ki da ilimin ki na addini suke?" Na juya ido na "tarbiyya? Ilimi? Na siyar dasu a kasuwa na siyo hankali" 

Sai ya sake ni, na juya na fice daga dakin na koma guest room amma sai na bar kofa a bude na kwanta. Ba jima da kwanciya ba na ji fitarsa sannan naji ya tayar da mota, na mike da sauri na daga labule ina leken sa, kar dai gurin wata zai tafi kuma. Na shiga uku. 

Ina kallo ya fita da motar daga gidan sai na zame na zauna a bakin gadon tare da dafe kaina. Ko dai nayi kuskure ne? 

Ina zaune naji dawowarsa, na sake tashi da sauri na leka shi. Ya fito ya shigo cikin gidan, nayi sauri na kwanta tare da lulluba sai gashi ya bude dakin ya shigo sannan ya kunna fitila, na mike zaune ina kallon sa sai ya jeho min wani dan karamin kwali da baifi girman na ashana ba, na dauka ina kalla sannan na farke shi ba dauki abin ciki, a raina nace "wannan dan karamin abun shine condom din, but ta yaya yake fitting wannan abin" 

Yace "shikenan abinda kike bukata ko kuma akwai saura?" Na gyada kai "shikenan" sai ya yaye bargon da na rufa da shi ya hawo gadon, but still ransa a bace yake, bacin ran kuma har a jikina sai da naji shi dan sai da yayi punishing dina sosai ni kuma na karbi dukkan punishment dina and gave him something in return, something da nasan duk inda zaije, duk gurin wadda zashi ba zai taba samun irinsa ba. Love.


*Forgive the typos please*

Ga masu son siya zasu iya turo kudin su #300 zuwa wannan account din

0779484494
Nafisa Tafida Usman
Access Bank

Sai su turo evidence of payment zuwa wannan number din ta hanyar WhatsApp
08067081020

Wadanda basu da account kuma zasu turo MTN recharge card na 300 zuwa wannan number din 08067081020

Please banda kira, WhatsApp only

*wannan littafin na siyarwa ne a bisa amana, idan baki siya ba kar ki karanta, in kuma kin siya kar kiyi sharing, idan kika yi kinci amana kuma ke da Allah*

*Maryam*

Ranar Umar ne ya tashe ni sallar asuba "assalatu khairun minal naum" ya fada min a kunne na. Na bude ido ina kallon sa, yayi min murmushi sai na juyar da kaina gefe dan kar in mayar masa da murmushin dan ba wai huce wa nayi ba. Ban ankara ba sai jin cizo nayi a kunnena, nayi kara na rike kunnen sannan na juyo da sauri na dauki pillow zan dake shi da shi sai ya sauka daga kan gadon yana dariya kamar ba shine bacin rai jiya da dare ba. Na nuna shi "wallahi sai na rama" ya daga kafada "sai dai ki rame kuwa ba dai ki rama ba" 

Na juya na kwanta tare da sake jan bargo, ya sake zagayowa ta side dina "ki tashi fa, kin san dai sai kinyi wanka ko?" 

Na bude ido na again ina kallon sa, sai naga kamar wanda ya sake yin wani kyau na musamman a idona, shima fuska ta yake kallo sannan a hankali ya kai hannun sa ya shafa gefen fuskar yace "kina da kyau sosai Jidda. Ina son ki sosai" sai na rufe ido na ina jin wani irin mixed feelings akan maganar sa, zuciyata tana neman budewa amma kwakwalwa ta tana hanata. 

Sanda na bude idona baya dakin sai kamshinsa.

A ranar bayan yaje office ya dawo yake gaya min cewa anyi approving annual leave din da ya nema. "Da ina da isashshen kudi ma da waje zamu fita, mu je mu shana" na danyi masa murmushi "su shanawa manya" yace "Allah kuwa. But zan fara tanadi next year Dubai zan kaiki" nace "Allah ya kaimu. To yanzu ina zaka kaini din?" 

Yace "Abuja nake so muje, amma kuma ina so mu fara zuwa Lagos first ki je kiga gidan mu, baki taba zuwa gidan mu ba fa?" Na juya ido "to laifin waye? Kai ne baka kaini gidan naku ba ai" yace "zan kai ki yanzu to, and I will show you around ki ga birnin ikko" 

Tun daga nan muka fara shiri, ninda shi da yara, Mufida tace zata ni mu tunda suna hutu a lokacin sai yace ba zamu je da ita ba gida zai mayar da ita, sai a lokacin yake gaya min cewa ta samu spill over a makaranta, nayi mamaki sosai dan bata gaya min ba ko da wasa. 

A daren ranar ne kuma na bashi labarin abinda nake tunani game da ita "Mufida fa ina tunanin samari ne suke haa ta karatu, ka ga yanzu chats din dare taje yi da phone calls kuma bata yi a gaba na sai taga bananan, sannan kuma nayi kokarin in bugi cikinta tayi min hirar saurayin amma taki kulani kamar boye shi take yi. Gaskiya ya kamata a saka ido sosai a kanta"

Yayi shiru yana sauraro na kamar mai tunani sai yace "dan tayi saurayi a yanzu bana jin akwai matsala tunda ya kamata ace tana da saurayin by now" na gyada kai nace "yes, amma ba saurayin da zata ke boye shi ba, ba kuma saurayin da zai hana ta karatu ba" ya gyada kai "haka ne. Abinda za'a yi shine idan munje Lagos zanyi magana da Baba a kanta sai a saka ta fito da miji a hada auren ta dana Muhsina"

Kwana biyu bayan nan muka ajiye Mufida a gida gurin Mama muka zarce airport muka tafi Lagos din. Sati daya muka yi a can, naga gidan su Umar naga gurare da yawa mun kuma shana kamar yadda yace zamuyi, kusan kullum ba gida muke wuni ba, kullum da akwai inda yake so in gani ko kuma wanda yake so mu hadu dashi. 

Sai dai matsala daya dana fuskanta a Lagos din itace Aunty wadda ita muka tarar a gidan dama mun bar Mama a Kano, Aunty gabakidaya ta chanja ta zama kamar wata stranger, auntyn da na sani mai kirki da fara'a wadda ta mayar dani kamar wata kawarta Umar kuma kamar wani abokin wasan ta amma sai ya zama tunda muka je gaisuwa ce kawai take hada ni da ita, sai na lura shi umar din ma ko gaisuwar bata shiga tsakaninsu tunda muka je. 

Dakin da yake matsayin nasu Mufida muka sauka, shima ba ita ta bude mana ba Umar ne da kansa yaje dakin Baba ya dauko key din, dan da cewa yayi mu zauna dakinsa, ni kuma ina ganin akwai kunya tunda Aunty tana nan kamata yayi mu sauka a cikin gidan tunda shi dakinsa a waje yake, amma sai ta shanya mu a falo muka yi ta zama tayi tafiyarta dakin ta, sai mai aikinsu ce ta kawo mana abinci da lemo. 

Sai da Umar din ya shigo sannan ya dauko key din ya bude mana dakin kuma ya saka mai aikin ta gyara mana, na dauka zaiyi magana ko yayi mita akan abinda tayi musamman saboda nasan yadda ya raina ta amma sai naji bai ce komai ba, bayan an gama gyaran dakin ya taya mu shigar da kayan mu sannan ya jaddada min duk abinda nake so a kitchen in shiga inyi kar in jira komai. 

Sai naji babu dadi a raina tunda an saba ba haka ake ba, Aunty idan ita ce a kano ma nafi son zuwa gidan su Umar saboda nafi sakin jiki da ita akan da Mama duk da dai itama Maman ba wai tana da problem bane ba. 

To yake ma dai bama wuni a gidan sosai ya saka abin bai dameni sosai ba, mostly har mu fita bana ganinta sai ace min tana sama, ni kuma ban taba hawa saman ba, in mun dawo ne sometimes zamu same ta a kasa, shima gaisuwa kadai zamuyi ko su Yasmin bata yiwa wasa yadda ta saba a da.

Har nayi kamar zanyi shiru dai amma sai na kasa na tambayi Umar "ni kuwa Aunty, nace ko fada kuka yi ne da ita?" Ya yamutsa fuska "fada kuma? Wanne irin fada ana zaune kalau?" Nace "a'a nasan yadda kuke ne kamar abokai amma kuma yanzu sai naga kamar duk lamarin ya chanja, bata kula ka bata kula mu, ni kuma bansan wani abu ya faru ba shine dai nace bara in tambaye ka" 

Sai yace "wai da gaske bata kula ku? Ai ni ban lura ba? To me yasa?" Na saki baki ina kallon sa, tabbas ba zai ce wai bai lura ba sai dai in baya son yin maganar, sai kawai nayi shiru ban kuma cewa komai ba, na dauka zai bar maganar shima amma sai maji yace "kuma babu wani abu da kika yi mata? Ko kuma kinyi mata wani abu ne ba ki sani ba?" Na dauke kaina gefe nace "ni babu wani abu da nayi mata fa" ya daga kafada "maybe she is just moody, waya sani ko period take" 

Ya karasa yana dariya, na juyo na harare shi "auntyn? Auntyn kake gaya wa haka?" Yace "ita din fa, gabakidayan ta nawa take auntyn na tabbatar tana yi bata daina ba, maybe ma nan kusa ki ga twins sun samu kanwa ko kani" 

Sai nayi murmushi kawai, Aunty tana da burin haihuwa dan in dai kuka zauna sai tayi maka hirar haihuwa da babies da sauransu, na tabbatar shi Baba ne baya so zai ce sun ishe shi haka ko kuma dai wani abu. Ganin ya shashantar da maganar sai na bar ta ni ma. 

Ban samu munyi wata magana sosai da Aunty ba sai ana gobe zamu tafi na same ta a kitchen tana aiki, na gaishe ta na fara tayata sai na tambaye ta "Aunty ina Ummi kuwa? Gashi tayi candy ballantana ince ko tana school kuma naga bata Kano na dauka tana nan sai da nazo na tarar bata nan" sai naga ta kalle ni, for a second sai naga kamar kallon tausayi take min sannan tace "Jidda Ummi ta koma gidan su, tana gida" na ajiye wukar hannu na na bude baki "gida kuma Aunty? Ganin gida taje yi amma ko?" Tace "no, ta koma can da zama gabaki daya" 

Na girgiza kai "ayyah, Allah sarki Ummi, amma ko sallama bata yi mana ba da zata tafi, at least dai ai musan ta tafi din, babu dadi wallahi duk an saba da ita" naji har raina ina jin babu dadi duk da yarinyar ba wani sonta nake sosai ba. Sai Aunty tayi murmushi tace "kar ki damu, in auren ta ya tashi za'a gayyace ku ku je har Adamawa ku saka ta a lalle"

Da zamu tafi sai gashi ta debo kaya da yawa ta bawa yara, na yi mata godiya sosai na kuma nuna wa Umar sai yace "ta kyauta" kawai. A raina sai na tabbatar sun samu matsala ne amma tunda baya son maganar sai na barta ban kuma yi masa ba tare da fatan Allah zai daidaita su.

Daga Lagos Abuja muka tafi kamar yadda yayi min alkawari, dama already yayi using phone dina yayi mana reserving daki a hotel muka sauka, sai kuma ya nemi wani friend dinsa a can ya karbi aron mota tunda a jirgi muka je bamu da motar fita yawo. Sai da mukayi sati biyu a Abuja, Umar ya kashe kudi masu yawa a zaman nan namu kuma yayi mana hidimar sosai ni da yara komai mume so mun samu a gurinsa, anan na fahimci ma'anar shanawar da yake yawan fada dan duk wani gurin shakawata munje duk wani gurin wasan yara mun kai yaran mu duk wani gurin hutawa munje mun huta, 24/7 muna tare baya dauke idonsa daga kanmu, in mun dawo hotel din mu kuma mu huce gajiyar mu a jikin juna, sai gani na ina yiwa umar murmushi, daga nan sai gashi muna dariya tare, kafin mu dawo kano in ka ganmu ba zaka ce wani abu ya faru ba a zahiri, amma a badini zuciya ta bata manta da komai ba.

Bayan mun dawo Kano ne muka je gidan su zamu gaishe da Mama, sai muka tarar shima Baba yazo garin, anan ne ya zauna ya wanke Umar tas akan rashin samunsa da ba'a yi a waya "wannan ai sakarci ne da rashin hankali, kana namiji magidanci kuma ace babu waya a hannunka? Akan wanne dalili ne haka?"

Sai Mama ta shigar masa "yace ai wayar ta fadi ne kuma har yanzu bau samu lokaci ya gyara layinsa ba, kasan welcome back din nan fa ance layi ake samu a gurin shi kuma ga yanayin aikinsa ba lokaci yake samu ba" 

Baba yace "yanayin aikinsa? Aikin nasu ba yafi na kowa samun lokaci ba tunda suna samun off? Yar awa daya zuwa biyun da zai cire yaje ya gyara layinsa shine zai kasa samu? Kuma ma indai yasan wani a gurin ba lallai ne yabi wannan layin da kike fada ba. Shashanci ne kawai ya saka har yanzu bai yi din ba. Ji nake yanzu hutu ma yake yi" 

Sai Mama tayi shiru amma duk zuciyarta ta baci kamar ita ake yiwa fadan. Sai da ya gama sannan kuma yace "yanzu idan wani abu ya faru na da iyalinka suka zo suna bukatar ka da gaggawa ta yaya zasu same ka?"

Wannan yasa bayan mun je gida na dauko masa wayarsa, "gwara ka cigaba da amfani da wayarka fa, kaga Baba yana ta fada hakan babu dadi kuma zai ga kamar kaki jin maganar sa" ya karba ya jujjuya ta a hannun sa sai ya miko min ita "naga taki ta kwana biyu, kiyi amfani da wannan kawai sai in sayi wata" na karba "zaka saya dai ko?" Yayi murmushi "Allah da gaske nake zan siya" nace "to Nagode. Allah ya kara budi" 

Washegari bayan ya dawo daga office sai gashi da sabuwar waya, na karba ina dubawa sai naga yar karama ce babu abinda zata yi sai kira da sms, sai torchlight da radiyo. Na rike ta a hannu na ina kallon sa sai ya daga kafada "waya ce ita ma wadda zaku iya kirana Baba da Mama ma zasu iya kirana" na zauna a kusa dashi ina jin babu dadi, anya kuwa ban takura masa ba? Sai naga ya dauko sabon sim card yana sakawa a ciki, nace "ba layinka zaka dawo dashi ba?" Sai ya girgiza kai "sabo zan sake, akwai mutanen da bana so su cigaba da samu na a waya" 

Shikenan sai na bar maganar, amma a raina sai naji na fara yarda da shi, na fara yarda da cewa da gaske yake yana son ya gyara rayuwarsa ne kuma yana iyakacin kokarin sa akan hakan.

Bayan dawowar mu aka fara shirin reunion na yan set din mu na secondary school. A lokacin shekarar mu biyar da gama makaranta dan haka muke son mu dan hadu mu ga juna a gaggaisa aci abinci tare da sauran su. Tun da aka fara zancen na gayawa Umar kuma ya yarda zan je din, sai dai yace kar in tafi da yara in barsu a gurin Umma tunda Asad ya fara cin abinci yanzu.

Da ranar taron namu tayi sai ya bani motarsa, "ki tafi da motata tafi lafiya sosai" nayi murna sosai na rungume shi i a godiya, sannan mukayi sallama, shi da kansa ya bude min gate na fita, ina fita sai ga Maryam nan tazo, tayi sauri ta tsayar dani "dama nasan da mota zaki tafi shine nace bara inzo ki bani lift, kinsan mu ko samarin da zasu kaimuna mota bamu da su ballantana mazan da zasu siya mana mota" nayi dariya "baki da dama Maryam, kika sani ko mai siya miki jirgi zaki aura nan gaba?" Ta juya ido, "a'a barni a motar dai kawai" sai na bude mata gaba "shigo mu tafi, da kin sani kin kira ni ai da sai in biya in dauke ki tunda kan hanya ne" bata ce komai ba sai sa shigo tana bin motar da kallo "wow, wai sabuwa kika yi ne haka?" Nace "no, ta Yaya Doctor ce, aro aka bani saboda tafiyar da dan nisa" ta juya ido "yar gatan yaya Doctor, to Allah ya sakamu a danshin ku muma"

Tare da ita muka biya muka dauki Mufida, tunda dama tare muka shirya zamuyi tafiyar sannan muka biya gidan mu na ajiye yara sannan muka dauki hanya, muna tafiya muna hirar rayuwar mu ta baya a school da irin wahalhalun da muka sha muna ta dariya abin mu har muka isa school din.

Mun tarar already an fara zuwa, nan da nan muka shiga mutane akayi ta murna da wasu da yawa rabona da ganin su tun muna school din, sai a WhatsApp da muke hira a group.

Bayan an gama haduwa aka bude taro da addu'a aka yi duk maganganun da za'a yi sannan aka fara cin abinci, ina zaune daga can karshe tare da Mufida muna cin abincin mu sai ga kawata Ramlah, tazo ta zauna kusa dani "albishirinki Hauwa'u" na ajjiye spoon din hannuna ina kallon ta nace "goro fari kal" tace "na ga Halima kollere" 

Na bude ido "Diyam! Da gaske! Tana ina" na fara kokarin mikewa sai ta rike ni "ke dalla can ba'a nan na ganta ba a unguwar mu ne ranar nan. Ashe akwai Aunty dinta a bayan layin mu kawai ranar nan nazo wucewa sai gaa a mota zata shiga gidan Aunty din nata. Ita ce ta fara gane ni ma ni da kyar na gane ta gabakidaya ta chanja bama zaki taba cewa ita bace ba" 

Naji dadi ya kama ni nace "Allah sarki Halima. Wayyo Allah na. Dama kin gayyato mana ita tazo taron nan" tace "na gaya mata sai tace wallahi ba zata samu zuwa ba dan sallama ma tazo yiwa auntyn zata bar kasar" na dafe kaina "kash banji dadi ba, amma kin karbo mana number dinta ko?" Sai ta sauko wayar ta "eh na karba, sai dai yanzu naji bata shiga ina jin sun tafi din ne" na mika mata wayata "samin number din please, zan ke ta gwadawa har Allah yasa in dace in ta shigo kasar kiran ya shiga" 

Ta karbi wayar tana juyawa "wow, Jidda wannan irin waya haka? Ni ko bude ta ma ba zan iya ba ungo bude min" nayi dariya "kin cika abin dariya wallahi" sai ga Maryam nan ita ma ta zauna tana cewa "au wayar Jidda kawai kika gani Ramlah? Baki ga irin motar da tazo da ita gurin taron nan ba ko kuma baki lura da kayan data saka ba, kema kanki ai kinsan ta wuce matsayin wannan taron namu alfarma kawai tayi mana tazo" 

Na juya ina kallon ta ina jin raina yana baci, bana son irin wannan abin da Maryam take min sai in yi ta feeling uncomfortable. Nace "bana so Maryam ki daina please" ta bata rai "menene abin bata rai kuma dan an fadi gaskiya? Ramla baki san mijin da Jidda take aura bane ba" 

Ramla tace "na sani mana, ba wannan doctor din bane ba yayan Mufida? Ba naje bikin su ba? Menene a ciki?" Maryam tace "okay ashe kin san shi, na dauka ba ki san shi ba in baki labarin haduwar shi dan ki tabbatar Jidda is the luckiest one amongst us, ya yadda yake sonta yake kula da ita kamar kwai, wannan ma fa motarsa ce ya bata wai tafi kyau duk da cewa akwai tata tana gida a ajjiye"

Raina ya karasa baci nace "to sai menene? Ina ruwanki? Mijina ne menene dan ya kula da ni ya lallabani ina ruwan ki menene na zuwa kima gaya wa mutane, in na hau motarsa ina ruwanki dashi da motarsa dukkan su mallakata ne menene naki a ciki?" 

Ta juya kai gefe "Allah ya baki hakuri naga kin dau zafi, matar gold mai mijin diamond" nace "diamond kadai? Ai ni a gurina mijina yafi daimond daraja da daukaka da kima wallahi dan diamond kowa zai iya saka kudi ya siya mijina kuwa kyauta ce daga Allah ya bani shi ta yadda kudi ba zasu iya siya min soyayyarsa ba" 

Ta juyo tana harara ta "ban da dai kuri da cika baki, ni baki san duk mace mai yabon mijinta a gaban mutane haushi take bani ba?" Nace "yabo ai ke kika fara, ke kika zauna a gabana kina yabon mijina shi yasa ni kuma nake taya ki, kuma hausawa sunce yabon gwani ya zama dole shi din kuma gwani na ne dan haka dole in yaba masa" 

Maryam tace "ban da dai cika baki gwara kiyi yabon saffa saffa dan wani gwanin in aka tono kazantar da yake aikatawa kuda ma ba zai bi ba"

Sai a lokacin Mufida da take ta faman daddanna wayar ta ta dago sannan ta mike tsaye "ke dalla can da dakata haka nan, kar ki ce zaki yiwa mutane maganar banza anan ina ruwanki wai da mijinta ne? Munafuka kullum kina hanyar gidan ta kullum kina bibiyarta kina kalle mata miji kuma ki zo ki ce zaki fadi maganar banza dan yace baya son ki? Ji nake nan kika same ni da magiya wai in hada ki dashi naki yarda, kika je kina ta binsa yana wulakanta ki ya kuma gaya miki baya son ki amma shine har yanzu ba zaki fita daga harkar shi ba, ba ranar nan na gaya miki kar in kara ganin kin je gidan su ba? Amma baki ji ba ko? To yau zan kunce miki zani a kasuwa munafuka" 

Abinka da mata, nan da nan sai aka zagaye mu ana tambayar abinda ya jawo hayaniya, Mufida ta fara yi musu bayani wai ashe tun zuwan da Umar yayi makarantar, tun ranar da muka hadu dashi itama Maryam ta ganshi kuma tun a lokacin ta gaya wa Mufida cewa tana sonsa ita kuma Mufida tace babu ruwanta, bayan munyi graduation ma wai haka ta ringa zuwa har gidan su Mufida tana neman sa, har office take binsa sai daya gaya wa Mufida yace tayi mata warning ta fita harkar sa, tunda lokacin muna dating, ashe duk zuwan da take yi gidan mu dan ta ganshi ne ba dan ni ba.

Dama ni nayi tunanin biri yayi kama da mutum dan in dai muka hadu bata da magana sai tasa, ta ringa hirarsa kenan ta na min tambaya a kansa tun ina biye mata har abin ya fara isa ta har ta kai ga yau munyi sa'insa.

Ai kuwa nan aka yi caaa akan Maryam aka yi ta caccakar ta har da masu kiranta da mugayen suna ye, "ina ruwan ki da mijinta? In ma kina son sa a da tunda ya auri kawarki kuma ya gaya miki baya son ki ai kamata yayi ki rabu da shi. Wannan ai cin amana ne" har da masu bani shawara "duk sanda ta sake zuwa gidan ki tayi miki hirar mijinki ki gurje bakin shegiya a kasa"

A na cikin hayaniyar ashe Maryam ta sulale ta bar wajen, sai daga baya wata tace ta ganta a bakin gate ta hau babur ta tafi tasha. Sai naji a raina banji dadin rigimar da akayi ba, Mufida kuma tace "Umma ta gaida Aysha, dama ni ba'a son raina muka taho da ita ba"

Bayan mun gama mun taho a hanya ne Mufida take gaya min Baba yace ta fitar da miji a hada aurenta dana Muhsina. "Wai wani nan ma aure za'a yi min, chafdi, ai kuwa zasu san wadda zasuyi wa aure ba ni ba. Kowa sai da aka barta ta gama karatunta tayi service ta huta sannan akayi mata aure amma ni ace wai na karasa karatun a dakina? Saboda me? Saboda ni ba'a so na ko me?" 

Nayi dariya "yar lelen Mama waye zai ce baya son ki? Gata ne fa za'a yi miki, ke auren fa da dadi" sai nafara yi mata hirar aure da irin albarka da take ciki da dadin damace take ji musamman inta dace da miji na gari, ita dai kawai ji na take yi tace "kyayi kya gama ma, ni ba yanzu zanyi aure ba" nace "sai yaushe to?" Tace "sai nagama zaba na gama tantancewa da gama screening sosai tukunna. Ai dai ba zasu yi min auren dole ba dai ko? Ni kuma ba zan fitar da mijin ba".

Duk a yadda nayi da Mufida ta gane cewa babu harm in aure yanzu amma bata gane ba.....

Sati daya cif bayan taron mu. Muna kwance da dare a dakin Umar bayan mun kwantar da yara a dakina. Ina kwance a jikinsa ina bashi labarin wani Hausa Novel dana karanta wai shi Maimoon, shi kuma yana game a wayata daga alama ma ba sauraron labarin da nake bashi yake yi ba amma ni ban daina ba saboda son da nake wa littafin. 

Muna cikin haka aka kira wayata, ya nuna min screen din naga number ce babu suna sai nayi cutting "da daren nan ba za'a bar mace ta kwanta a jikin mijinta taji dadi ba sai a dame ta da waya?" Yayi dariya "a bar mace dau ta damu mijinta da labarin da ba gane wa yake yi ba" nayi juyi akansa "kai, labarin soyayya ne fa, ka tsaya kaji Allah da dadi" yace "ni ba zanji labarin soyayyar wasu ba sai dai ki zo muyi tamu soyayyar" ya fada yana ajiye wayar a daidai lokacin da aka sake kira, na dauka na ga waccan number din ce dai, yace "ji dauka, maybe it is important, in kinji ba important bace ba sai ki katse" 

Sai na tashi zaune sannan na dauka 

"Assalamu alaikum"

Sai naji muryar Maryam tace "golden wife matar diamond husband, na ajiye miki sako amma har yanzu banga alamar kin gani ba shi yasa na kira in gaya miki inda yake dan in saukaka miki nema. Ki duba bayan motar diamond husband dinki akwai sako na ajiye miki, idan kuma baki yarda da cewa abinda zaki gani nasa bane ba zaki iya kaiwa kowanne asibiti a gwada miki dan a tabbatar miki. By the way, I think it is so romantic the way ge carries a band mai sunan ki a jiki kullum a hannunsa, nasan hakan yana miki dadi sosai shi yasa na cire na saka masa nawa dan nima in gani inji dadi. Like I said, not all that glitters are gold"

Sai ta katse wayar. Na dago kaina ina kallon sa sai naga shima ni yake kallo, sai ya bude ido "what? Waye a wayar? Me akace?" Ban ce komai ba sai na kama hannunsa da sauri ina dubawa, zuciyata tana bugawa da karfi amma tun kafin in kai hannuna kan band din na fahimci ba nawa bane ba, wannan yafi nawa sabuntaka dan nawa duk color din sun goge saboda har wanka Umar yake yi da shi a jikinsa, na juyo gurin sunan da sauri "Mery G" na ga an rubuta. 

Tabbas nata ne dan na tuna sanda aka bamu tana da mita cewa ita ba wannan sunan tace a saka mata ba. Ya kalla shima da sauri sai naga ya zaro ido "what? Menene wannan din?" 

Bance masa komai ba sai na sauka daga kan gadon na fita da sauri na bude kofar falo, ina fita daga gidan naji ya biyo baya na "Jidda" ban amsa ba na bude kofar baya na motarsa, zuciya ta tana bugawa da sauri a raina ina cewa "God please no, don't let it be" 

Da farko banga komai ba, sai dana shiga ciki sannan na ga alamun kaya a kasan kujera, na zaro su sannan na fito daga motar a lokacin da ya karaso inda nake, na daga su ina kalla, pant ne da bra. Ya fara girgiza kai "Jidda listen, dazu Yaya Mubaraka ta karbi aron motata, maybe kayan ƴaƴan ta ne" na jefa masa su "yaya Mubaraka bata da yayan da suke saka brazier, kuma na tabbatar itaba zata cire nata ta bar maka su a mota ba" 

Kayan suka daki jikinsa suka zube a kasa, sai na lura wani abu ya fado daga cikin su, na sunkuya na dauka ina kallon abin a cikin hasken security light din gidan. 

A used condom. 

Shine abinda Maryam tace min idan ban yarda nasa bane ba inje a gwada min. 

Ga masu son siya zasu iya turo kudin su #300 zuwa wannan account din

0779484494
Nafisa Tafida Usman
Access Bank

Sai su turo evidence of payment zuwa wannan number din ta hanyar WhatsApp
08067081020

Wadanda basu da account kuma zasu turo MTN recharge card na 300 zuwa wannan number din 08067081020

Please banda kira, WhatsApp only



*wannan littafin na siyarwa ne a bisa amana, idan baki siya ba kar ki karanta idan kuma kin siya kar ki yi sharing, in kika yi kin ci amana kuma ke da Allah*

*The Trash*

Ya fara girgiza kansa yana ja da baya "innalillahi wa inna ilaihir rajiun. Jidda menene wannan a hannun ki? Jiddah wa ya saka min wannan a mota ta? Waye ya kira ki a waya?" Ban ba shi amsa ba sai na jefar da abin hannuna, sannan ba tare da cewa komai ba na juya nayi hanyar cikin gida. 

Tafiya kawai nake yi ba wai dan ina ganin gabana ba sai dan na riga na saba da duk wani inch na gidan, har na wuce falo na shiga corridor sannan na shiga dakina, ban tsaya ba na zarce toilet na dauro alwala dama banyi sallar isha ba dan haka na fito na shimfida sallaya, ina saka hijab ya shigo dakin da waya ta a hannun sa

"Jidda kiyi min magana, waye ya kira ki a waya? Me aka ce miki kuma? Jidda kayan nan wallahi bansan yadda akayi suka shiga mota ta ba" 

Na saka hijab dina na hau sallaya na tayar da sallah, shi kuma ya zauna a bakin gado da waya ta a hannun sa yana ta dannawa yana saka wa a kunne daga dukkan alama number din da Maryan ta kira ni da ita yake kira. 

A sujjada ta ta karshe kamar yadda na saba kai wa Allah kuka na kullum a kowace sallah sai yanzu ma nayi kokarin yin hakan, amma sai naji na kasa jero  kalaman da zanyi addu'ar dasu, sai kawai naji kuka ya zo min nan na fara yi da sheshshekar da ta saka gabakidaya jikina yake karkarwa, kadan ya rage jikina baiyi giving up na fadi ba amma ban daina kuka a gaban wanda nasan shine kadai zai share min hawayena ba, wanda ko ban ambata komai ba yasan komai kuma shi zaiyi min maganin komai.

Sai da naji numfashi yana neman gagara ta sannan na dago na kammala sallah ta nayi sallama. Sai na ganshi ya sauko daga kan gadon ya na durkushe a gaban gadon a kusa da sallaya ta, idonsa yayi jawur tamkar in aka watsa turaren wuta a ciki kamshi zai tashi. 

Na dauke kaina daga kansa sannan na fara gabatar da adduoin rufe sallah kamar yadda nake yi kullum. Bai yi magana ba har na gama na mike da niyyar nade sallayar sannan in bar masa dakin tun kafin kallon fuskar sa ya saka zuciyata ta buga in mutu. Sai dai ina mikewa wani irin jiri ya debe ni, nayi sauri na dafe kaina da hannu daya dayan kuma na dafe bango dashi ina ambatar sunan Allah.  

Na jima a haka kafin kaina yayi clearing jirin kuma ya rangwanta min, sai dana dawo hayyacina na lura a jikin Umar nake, ya zagayo hannunsa daya ta saman cikina ya rike ni tsam a jikinsa dayan kuma ya dora akan hannuna dana dafe kaina da shi. Shima yana maimaita abinda nake fada. "Innalillahi wa inna ilaihir rajiun" 

Na juya da sauri na tura shi baya da dan karfin da nake dashi. Kasancewar turewar da nayi masa tazo masa a bazata sai ya tafi da baya kamar zai fadi amma sai ya dafe jikin gado ya tsaya yana kallo na fuskar sa cike da tashin hankali. 

"Jidda" ya kira sunana. 

Na nuna shi "dan Allah, dan girman Allah Umar kar ka sake ambatar sunana bana son ji, dan Allah da girman Allah ka fita daga dakin nan bana son ganin ka, dan Allah dan girman Allah kar ka jawa yayana asara kayi musu sanadiyyar da zasu tashi marayu, na tabbatar in ina cigaba da ganin ka kuma ina cigaba da jin muryar ka to gobe za'a saka ni a kabari na, na tabbatar kafin gangar jikina ta fara decomposing kai already ka saka wata akan gadon ka, su kuwa sai dai su kasance yayan riko a gurin matar da zaka aura ko kuma a gurin wadda zata rike su a cikin dangi. Please ba dan ni ba, dan su, kuma dan Allah ka fita ka bani guri"

Ya rufe bakin da ya saka yana kallona sannan yayi kokarin clearing muryar sa yace "ba zan iya ba, ba zan iya fita in baki guri ba a wannan halin da kike ciki, you are sick Jidda, kin san kina da hawan jini ko? Ya zaki yi kiyi shiru kuma ba zaki yi min bayanin abinda ya faru ba ballantana in amsa laifina ko in karyata abinda banyi ba in kwantar miki da hankali? Please kiyi min magana Jidda, please kiyi min bayani dan barin magana a cikin ki ita ce zata cutar dake ba wai ganina ko jin muryata ba" .

Na sake sunkuya wa na dauki sallayar da na yar ban sani ba na fara ninke ta sai dana gama sannan na lura a baibai na ninke sai na warware na sake ninkewa sannan na ajiye, na cire hijab din jiki na na fara ninke shi shima amma sai ya zame ya fadi kasa, sai a lokacin na lura ashe karkarwa hannuna yake yi, na sunkuya zan dauka sai ya riga ni sunkuyawa ya riga ni dauka sannan ya ajiye shi a gefen gado, na wuce shi na sake daukan hijab din na cigaba da kokarin ninkewa ina jin yadda kaina yake wani irin sarawa sakamakon rike tunani na da nayi a guri daya not letting myself think, dan a tunani na in na bar kaina nayi tunanin mijina kwance da kawata to tabbas zan zama gawa. 

Yakama hannuna ya karbe hijab din ya sake jefar dashi yace "don't do this please Jidda kar kiyi haka, kiyi fada kiyi kuka and hit me if you want, but ki fada min waye ya kira ki a waya, ki fada min waye ya saka min kayan can a mota, ki fada min waye ya chanja min wannan band din" ya karasa yana ciro abin daga hannunsa sannan yayi jifa dashi, fuskar sa tana nuna bacin rai, tsananin bacin rai.

Nace "waye ko wace? Kuma dan me zan zauna ina yi maka bayanin abinda na tabbatar ka fini sanin amsoshin, dan me zan bata raina da lokaci na da kuma yawun baki na a gurin yin maganar da ba zata amfane ni da komai ba sai karin takaici da bakin ciki, dan me zan baka damar yi min bayanin da already na riga na san amsar shi"

Sai ya sunkuya ya dauki band din da ya yar ya juya shi yana karanta sunan "Mery G" ya karanta a fili, "wacece wannan?" Ya fada yana nuna min abin "how in God's heaven did she changed my band" na daga kafada "ta yaya zanyi in san lokacin da ta saka maka, was I there?" 

"Mery G" ya maimaita, "wannan abin na kawayen ku ne yan makarantar ku, kawar ki ce kenan, yar secondary school din ku" ya fada yana kallona kamar mai jiran in bashi amsa, sai kuma ya saki abin ya dafe kai, fuskar sa tayi jawur kamar yadda idonsa yayi 

"wallahi sai na ci uban yarinyar nan, wallahi sai tasan ni tayi wa wannan sharrin" 

Ya juyo yana kallo na "Jidda wallahi abin nan da kika gani a mota ba nawa bane ba" na wuce shi na zauna akan gado, yadda ya dauki zafi yana kara min takaici. 

"Zan iya yarda cewa ba naka bane ba, zan kuma iya yarda cewa baka san yadda akayi kayan suka shiga motar ka ba, zata iya yiyuwa makirci ne ta shirya take so tayi maka sharri bla bla bla, amma ta yaya ta kama hannunka har ta chanja maka band din da ya kama hannunka ma ba rawa yake yi ba ba tare da ka sani ba? Can you explain that? Shin asiri tayi maka ko rufa ido tayi mana gabakidaya ko kuma tayi drugging dinka ne har ta chanja baka sani ba?" 

Ya daga kafada "I don't know, maybe asirin ne ni ban sani ba, kuma it is very possible dan akwai mata, yammata da suke asiri dan su samu abinda suke so, kuma wannan bushashshiyar karmasashshiyar, kodaddiyar, jemammiyar, mokadaddiyar yarinyar babu abinda ba zata iya ba dan ta samu abinda take so"

Na gyara wa yayana kwanciyar su nima na kwanta ina jin ciwon kaina yana ƙaruwa nace "eh zata iya komai na sani, zata iya seducing dinka ma na sani, but the fact that you fall for it knowing well cewa kawata ce shine abinda yake cin zuciyata a yanzu. It is one thing ace ka nemi mace, some faceless nameless prostitute wadda ban sani ba kuma babu wata alaka a tsakani na da ita but it is totally a different issue ace ka nemi friend dina, a very close friend of mine for that matter" na fada ina jin wani irin ciwo mai zafi wanda tun dazu nake rikewa bana so in jishi, naji yana sukar zuciya ta. 

Tabbas Maryam ta ci amana ta, amma Umar tasa cin amanar tafi girma a gare ni dan shine nafi kusanci da shi akan Maryam. 

Tabbas ban yi zeroing mind dina ba akan cewa Umar kwata kwata ya daina halinsa, amma na saka ran cewa abin yayi sauki, kuma ban taba tsammanin cewa karuwa abin nasa yayi ba, karuwar da har zata kai shi ya kwanta da friend dina, ya kwanta da Maryam.

Na juya baya na dan bana so in cigaba da kuka a gabansa, bana so ma in cigaba da maganar  dashi dan bana jin akwai abinda zai gaya min wanda zai saka in yarda da cewa bai nemi Maryam ba.

Ina jin sa ya dan zauna a bayana kadan, sai kuma ya mike yace "ban taba tunanin cewa gap din da muka samu a tsakanin mu har ya kai girman da wasu zasu shiga ciki ba. Yarinyar nan ta jima tana bina, idan baki yarda ba ki tambayi Mufida dan na sha gaya mata tayi mata warning ta daina bina in ba haka ba zan gaya miki, ban taba gaya miki din ba saboda kar ranki ya baci akan abinda nasan bashi da muhimmanci dan ni dai nasan bata gabana, ko san da ina neman matan ma ni wannan bata kai wadda zan neme ta ba wallahi ballantana yanzu da na riga na gaya miki na daina. And ina so ki sani cewa it hurts me so much that you think I can sleep with your friend"

Sai ya tashi ya fita. Na rufe idona ina barin hawaye na suna cigaba da zuba akan pillow na, wanda ya zamanto tamkar ma'ajiyar hawaye na. 

Tabbas na san Maryam ce ta nemi Umar ta bashi kanta tabbas kuma na yarda da cewa ta jima tana binsa kamar yadda ya fada tunda Mufida ta riga ta fada min tun ranar nan, amma ko kadan ban yarda cewa bai yi din ba, tayi masa tayin kanta kyauta kuma ya karba yayi kamar yadda abokinsa ya taba fada cewa baya wuce tayi, sai dai ban dauka cewar tayin har da na kawayena ba.

Allah kadai yasan bayan Maryam din da waye da waye Umar ya ke nema a cikin wadanda na sani, kawayena, yan uwana da nasa, da kuma sauran abokan arziki, sai naji anya kuwa zan iya cigaba da shiga mutane? In na fita ma maybe nuna ni ake tayi ana cewa "ga matarsa can"

And one thought crossed my mind, what if yayan mu suka girma suma in sun fita ake nuna su ana cewa "ga yayansa can?"

Washegari bayan sallar asuba na jima akan sallaya ta ina zaune, ba wai doguwar addu'a nake yi ba a'a tunani kawai nake yi, tunani nake yi akan steps din dana fara dauka tun daga ranar dana tabbatar da situation din da nake ciki a gidan Umar.

Step na farko shine nayi accepting zama da Umar a matsayin kaddara ta, na rungumi shawarar da kullum ake bawa mace kafin da kuma bayan tayi aure "hakuri" sannan kuma na daura damarar yin iyakacin kokari na gurin gyara shi. A step na farko na fara da hakuri, addu'a, kokarin gyara masa ibadun sa da kuma kokarin gyara kaina dan inyi meeting da abinda yake nema a mace.

Bayan gwada wannan da kuma tabbatar wa cewa hakan is not enough for gyaran Umar sai na dora da step na biyu ba kuma wai na daina step na dayan bane ba. Step na biyu shine kokarin rabashi da mugayen abokai irin su Bashir da kuma raba shi da social media wadda nake ganin ita take kara taimakawa wajen hada shi da yammatan da yake nema din, na kuma yi kokarin ganin yayi aure which har yanzu he failed to do, amma still yanzu nayi finding out cewa abin nasa ma kamar gaba yayi ba baya ba. Yanzu it is time for me to go for my third step, wanda shine involving iyayensa a cikin maganar.

It is going to be my boldest step so far but I am going to do it, kamar yadda na riga na yanke cewa in wannan step din yayi failing shima I will go to step four wanda shine involving nawa iyayen  wanda shine second to the last step dina, last step shine karshe, wanda ni kaina ban san menene a gurin ba sai naje din amma tabbas in dai har abubuwa basu gyaru ba to kuwa zanje gurin, zan bude wani page mai wahalar buduwa kuma zan rungume shi hannu bibbiyu. 

Sai dai a raina ina fatan kar Allah yasa mu je ga last step din, ina saka ran insha Allah in maganar nan taje kunnen Baba da Mama zasu dauki mataki mai kyau wanda ni ba zan iya dauka ba dan su manya ne sun fi ni sanin abinda ya dace kuma sun fi ni sanin rayuwa sannan na tabbatar sun fini son Uma. Sannan kuma abu mafi muhimmanci shine addu'ar su, musamman addu'ar Mama wadda addu'ar ta bata da shamaki a gurin ubangiji a kansa, ko da addu'ar suka taimaka mana ina da kyakykyawan zaton al'amura zasu dai-dai ta insha Allah. 

But ta yadda zan fara yi musu bayanin halin da ɗan su mafi soyuwa a zuciyoyin su yake ciki shine abinda ban sani ba.

Na dauko wayata na kunna data sannan na shiga WhatsApp, a raina ina yanke hukuncin ta nan zan yi mata dogon bayani yadda ba sai na yi facing dinta face to face ba kuma zan iya yi mata dogon bayani akan sms ko wasika.

Na shiga kan chats din mu da ita, sai na ga last seen dinta jiya ne kuma nasan yau ma zata hau dan tana active sosai a WhatsApp. Na lura da dp dinta hoton Yasmin da Asad ne na ranar 2nd birthday din Yasmin.

Na fara rubutu, na fara da sallama da gaisuwa da kuma dogon bayani na yadda suke da muhimmanci a gurin mu sai kuma na dora da zancen muna bukatar taimakon su, na fara bayanin yadda na fara fuskantar halin da Umar yake ciki da kuma confessing din ya yayi min at last cewa he is addicted to sex, da abubuwan da suka yi ta faruwa bayan nan har zuwa matsayin da muke ciki a yanzu, na kuma roke ta data saka baki a cikin maganar, tayi masa fada kuma ta saka Baba yayi masa fada sannan kuma suke yi masa addu'a gabakidaya.

Nayi kusan minti talatin ina rubutun, ina tsara komai ina kuma rubuta komai cikin kalaman da nake ganin zata fahimta ba kuma wadanda suka yi tsauri da yawa ba. 

Ina gama wa na ganta ta hau online, kawai sai na danne alamar X na rike ta har sai da na goge rubutun kaf sannan na dauke hannuna tare da sauke ajjiyar zuciya. 

Wato fadar ma ba zan iya yi ba kenan. 

Na mike na fita daga dakin na shiga kitchen na fara hada masa breakfast, pancakes nayi masa na dama masa custard na kai na ajiye masa akan dining table sai na tafi dakinss na tarar yana wanka, na gyara gadon na goggoge abubuwan da suka yi kura sannan na dauko masa kaya na fesa mudu turare na ajiye masa a bakin gado, sai na koma palo na fara aikin gyaran gida cikin sauri, sai da na gama share palo da dining room da kitchen sannan sai gashi ya fito, fes da shi yana ta bada kamshi abinsa ya zauna akan kujera yana kallona ina goge kayan kallo sai yace "yau so nake in fita da wuri inaso in zagaya in yi surveying schools inga wadda zamu saka Yasmin, both islamic schools da boko, I want her to have the very best of education"

Ko kallon inda yake banyi ba na cigaba da aikina ina jin raina yana matukar baci, wai shi a nasa tunanin shikenan maganar ta wuce? Shikenan har ya gama da wannan babin saura wani kuma? And I found myself wondering wanne ne next kuma?

Ya taso ya kunna tv. "Ya kamata mu fara kallon news a gidan nan, ki rage kallon indians din nan ki koma sanin halin da duniya take ciki"

Na ajiye duster din hannuna na bar masa gurin, it is more than I can take, wato this is the new normal for him, in yayi ma abin ya daina pretending to care, ya koma pretending as if nothing happened. 

Har na shiga corridor naji ya kira ni, na juyo ina kallon sa sai yace "abinci" na nuna masa dining "a can ake ajiyewa" ya zauna akan kujera "kawo min nan" na dawo na dauko table na saka masa a gaban sa na shimfida yar karamar table mat akai sannan na dauko abincin na jera masa akai, na dago kai naga ni yake kallo nace "sai menene kuma?" Yace "saura ki zuba min" ya fada yana selecting channel din da zai kalla, na zuba masa pancakes din na zuba masa zuma a dan karamin saucer na hada masa custard din a cup na tura masa gabansa, ganin hankalin sa yana kan tv sai na saka wani plate din na rufe pancakes din na tashi zan bar gurin sai kuma ya dawo da hankalin sa kan abincin ya dauke plate din da na rufe masa ya rike a hannunsa yana kallon kan table din "wannan a ina zan ajiye shi?" 

Na tsaya da tafiyar da nake yi, na juyo ina kallon sa kamar yadda yake kallo na shima sai kuma yayi murmushi yace "kin shagwaba ni da yawa, ban san yadda ake komai ba, ki zo dan Allah ki zauna muci tare, kin ga ni yanzu bansan inda zan ajiye wannan ba" na rike kugu ina kallon sa "a tsakiyar kaina zaka dora shi ko kuma ka gwada hadiye shi maybe zai taimaka maka to shut off"

Ya saki baki yana kallo na sai na zagaye shi na wuce zuwa kitchen na dauki duster na fara goge work top da sauri, ban lura ma da kuka nake ba sai fa naji na fara jan hanci ganina kuma yayi dusu dusu sannan na shafa fuskata naji hawaye, na ajiye duster din hannuna na kifa kaina a jikin worktop din, ban ankara ba naji hannun sa a baya na.

"Jidda? Wai kuka kike yi? Wai duk bayanin da nayi miki jiya baki fahimce ni ba"

Na juyo ina kallon sa, "na fahimce ka mana Umar, ba dai kana so ka gaya min cewa ta shirya makirci ne ta faki idonka ta saka maka kaya a mota ba? Ba dai kana son kace abin da na gani a cikin condom ba naka bane ba na wani namijin ne wanda ni da kai bamu sani ba? Ba dai kana son kace tayi amfani da tsafi bane ba har ta chanja band dina da yake hannunka ya koma na ta ba? Wadannan sune maganganun da kake so in fahimta? Tabbas na fahimta Umar" 

Ya sake ni yayi taku biyu baya "ba zaki gane ba, ba zaki gane zafin da zuciyata take yi ba akan cewa kin zabi yarda da maganganun ta akan nawa, amma zan fita kuma zan binciko ta yadda ta chanja band din sannan inzo inyi miki bayani am sure sai kinji kunyar kin yarda da ni da kika yi, wannan condom din kuma......" 

Nace "tace in ban yarda ba aje asibiti a gwada, are you willing to do that?"

Sai a lokacin naga abinda tun jiya nake neman gani a fuskar sa amma yaki bani damar gani, guilt, for brief seconds yayi appearing sannan ya dauke da ace bana kallon sa ma da bazan gani ba, "asibiti? Gwaji? Haka tace? Me yasa baki fada min hakan ba tun jiya? Na riga na kona su tun jiyan da nasan tace haka da na barsu ko dan in tabbatar miki da cewa ba nawa bane ba" 

Na danyi murmushin takaici sannan na juya na cigaba da aikina. Daga dukkan alamu Umar bashi da niyyar admitting laifinsa a wannan karon, ya jima a tsaye a gurin, jin bani da niyyar cigaba da biye masa sai naji ya fita daga kitchen din, jimawa kadan naji tashin motarsa ya bar gidan. 

Sai dana karasa komai a kitchen din sannan na dawo falo, na lura da abincin da na zuba masa ko taba shi bai yi ba. Motsin su Yasmin da naji ya saka na tafi daki gurin su dan basu dukkan kulawa ta. 

Har azahar ban yanke shawarar ta yadda zan tunkari iyayen Umar da wannan maganar ba, amma kuma ban chanja shawarar gaya musu din ba dan alokacin ina jin hakan shine mafita a gare ni. 

Indomie kawai na dafa mana da rana muka ci ni da yara, sai laasar na dora dinner nayi tuwon shinkafa miyar taushe na gyara komai kamar yadda na saba ba zaka taba dauka da akwai wani miki a zuciyata ba amma bakikkirin nake jinta tamkar dunkulallen gawayi. 

And to add more salt to my wound sai ga kira ya shigo wayata daga Maryam, yanzu tayi amfani ne da number din ta, na rike wayar a hannuna ina kalla inajin raina yana zafi gar ta katse ban iya dauka ba, na fara neman yadda zanyi blocking dinta sai wani kiran nata ya sake shigowa. Sai kawai wani tunani ya fado zuciyata. Me yasa zan kasa daukan wayarta har kuma inyi blocking dinta? Shin waye yayi abin kunya a tsakanin ni da ita? Waye ya kamata yake boye fuskar sa waye ya kamata ya kasa bacci?

Sai na daga wayar na saka a kunne na amma bance komai ba. Naji muryar ta  "Hello? Matar gold mai mijin diamond. Da fatan kin ga sako na. Da naji baki dauka ba na dauka kina gida kina yiwa Umma kuka" na gyara muryata na dan daga murya nace "Yasmin kira Daddy yazo za'a fara program din da yake so a TV" sai kuma nayi murmushi ganin Yasmin ta tsaya tana kallona dan tasan Daddy baya gida, amma sakon da nake son isarwa yaje inda yakamata yaje din.

Sai kuma nace "hello Mery G mai kike cewa? Sakon ki ko? Eh na gani kuma na karba har na adana su. Amma ina son yi miki tambaya guda daya, me kike so kiyi achieving da kika aiko min da wannan sakon? Uhmmm"

Tayi dariya, amma naji muryar ta ta rage armashi sannan tace "baki gane ba ke har yanzu sai nayi miki bayani dalla dalla? Ina so ki fahimci cewa you are not the only woman in his life dan haka ki daina wani cikabaki kina ganin kanki kamar wata mai muhimmanci ko wata daraja ta musamman, duk abinda kike gani nima na gani, duk kuma abinda kike ji nima naji"

Na lumshe ido nana bude ina kokarin kwantar da zuciyata. Nace "really? Ashe toshewar kwakwalwar ki har ta kai haka Maryam? Ta yaya zaki kwatanta darajar lu'ulu'un da aka adana a cikin gida a cikin ma'ajiyar ta musamman aka kuma samar masa guri na musamman a cikin zuciya da kuma shaddar gefen titin da aka shiga aka fitar da datti aka fito ba tare da an biya ko kwandala ba"

"Maganar sakon ki kuma na gani na kuma dauka sannan kuma na adana shi. Ba kinyi maganar yin test a asibiti ba? Tabbas za'a yi test kamar yadda kika bukata amma ba yanzu za'a yi ba sai ranar da kika gama yawo offices din maza kika gama bude musu kafafuwan ki kika samu wani garan yayi niyyar rufa miki asiri ya aure ki a lokacin zan dauko ajjiya ta in kira shi tare da iyayensa da naki iyayen muje asibiti ayi wannan gwajin da kike magana akai, dan tabbas in dai abinda kika bani daga jikin Umar ya fito a lokacin da yake tare da ke to tabbas a jikin condom din za'a samu dna din ki kema, then sai kiyi musu bayanin yadda yaje gurin. Dan haka sakon da kika aiko min da shi ba wai shaida ce gare ni ba shaida ce a kanki kema"

"Albishir na gaba da zan miki shine tun jiya na gaya wa Mufida abinda kika yi, kuma na tabbatar kin san halin budadden bakinta dan haka zuwa yanzu ina jin kusan rabin kawayen mu sunsan abinda kika yi, suma kuma zasu fadawa wasu wadanda zasu fadawa wasu suma. Dan haka sai kisan irin takun da zaki ke yi a cikin mutane. The stain will forever be on you"

"Bayan nan kuma ina so inyi miki wani albishir din, you have no idea who Umar is, da kin sani ko Maryam da ba zaki fara kokarin yin abinda kika yi ba. Ba ke bace ta farko ba, amma ina jin duk cikin su kinfi kowa kaskanci tunda bashi kanki kika yi kyauta ba tare da ko kwandalar sa ba, gwara ma wadanda yake bawa kudi at least sun tsira da wani abu, ke kuwa babu mutumci babu dajara babu kuma ko kwandala. A gurin Umar darajar ki daidai take data toilet paper din da yayi amfani da ita ya goge datti daga jikinsa sannan kuma ya jefar a trashcan. Wannan shine abinda zai yi miki, zai jefa ki a trashcan just like the trash that you are. Idan baki yarda ba ki jira nan da maximum of 24 hours ki ga abinda zaiyi miki sai kin yi regretting ranar da kika fara dora idon ki a kansa. And good luck finding a husband after this"

"Nonsense trash"

Sai kuma na dan janye wayar daga fuskata nace "Darling bara inzo in serving dinka karbka bata jikin ka"

Na katse wayar na ajiye, ina jin kusan rabin zuciyata yana yin fari. Sometimes it feels so good in anyi maka ka rama.

Yes, na wanke Maryam amma ba haka yana nufin nabi bayan Umar bane ba. Dan haka daya dawo da dare ma ko fuska bai gani ba a gurina har ya gama kame kamensa ya hakura ya rabu dani ya ja yayansa suka yi ta hirar su yana bawa Yasmin labarin makarantar da ya dubo mata. Suka gama ya dauke su suka fita sai gasu sun siyo school bag da lunchbox har da na Asad shima duk da cewa banda shi za'a saka a school din. 

Sai da dare bayan na kwantar da yara ina shirin kwanciya nima sai ya shigo ya kama hannuna na "ki jira ni zuwa gobe, zan fada miki abinda zai saka ki bani hakuri akan zargin da kika yi min" na karbe hannu na na kwanta ba tare da nace komai ba. 

Washegari ma da wuri ya fita, sai dai zuwa azahar sai gashi ya dawo ya tari yaransa ya dauki kowanne yadaga sama yayi kissing sannan ya basu chocolate. Sai Yasmin tace "Daddy baka bawa Mommy ba" sai ya taho kusa dani ya zauna yana murmushi sannan ya miko min chocolate din, na miko hannu zamy karba saboda idon yaran da suke kallon mu Yasmin tana ta zagba murmushi, a lokacin naga abinda yake hannun sa, band dina ne, na kama na zare shi daga hannun ina kallon sa.

Yayi murmushi "na karbo abina" naji raina ya fara baci sai nayi shiru bance komai ba, ya ce "baki tambayeni yadda nayi na karba ba?" Na daga kafada "ai kasan inda yake dama, zuwa kayi kace ta baka" sai ya gyada kai "hakane, amma bani naje ba, aikawa nayi, police na aika suka karbo min" 

Na bude ido ina kallon sa, sai yace "na gaya miki I will find out yadda ta chanja min ko? Na gano yadda tayi tun jiya. A duk sanda zan shiga surgery ina cire shi tare da rings din hannuna in bar su a office sai na fito sannan in mayar. A ranar I accidentally left my office door open, ita kuma ta shiga ta chanja ni kuma dana fito ban lura ba na saka kawai na taho gida, kayan kuma nafi tunanin a cikin gidan nan ta shigo ta ajiye su dan bana barin motata a bude a office. Sai dai mai gadi yace bai ga shigowar taba, maybe ta faki idon sa ne" 

Na rufe idona ina so inyi tunani sai ya cigaba "bayan nayi tunanin a office ta chanja min sai nayi reporting to security office na asibitin mu cewa anyi min sata a office, we checked the CCTV footage and we saw her entering the office. Na fada musu kawar kanwa ta ce sai na kira Mufida na tambayeta address dinta kuma ta bani ni kuma na basu suka he har gida suka kamata"

"Tana hannun su har yanzu, nace su rike ta har sai na gama bincika office din na tabbatar da abubuwan da aka dauka a ciki, na gaya musu dai wannan band din ne ban gani ba for now, suka tambaye ta inda yake ta kuma basu su kuma suka bani"

"Na dauka zata yi kokarin kala min sharri a gurin su kamar yadda tayi kokarin yi a gurin ki, but bata yi ba, maybe she is not ready to explain that to her parents, yanzu explanation din da zata yi shine na shiga office dina da tayi ta daukar min abina ba tare da izni na ba"

Ya rike fuska ta a hannun sa yana kallona, "please Jidda please ki ce min kin yarda dani, ki ce min kin yarda ba zan iya neman kawarki ba" na sunkuyar da ido na kasa, komai na labarin sa ya tafi dai dai amma ko kadan ban yarda da shi ba, tabbas yayi, tabbas wannan CCTV footage din da aka ga Maryam tana shiga office dinsa gurinsa taje, maybe a lokacin ne abin ya faru a tsakanin su, she may have went to his office and seduced him, babu cctv a cikin offices dinsu saboda privacy, a lokacin ne ta chanja band din bayan ya cire shi kamar yadda yace, a lokacin ne kuma abin ya faru a tsakanin su. 

Na dago kai ina kallon sa sannan nace "na yarda da kai Faruq" yayi murmushi from ear to ear. "Saura ki bani hakuri kuma" na sunkuyar da kaina ina jujjuya band din da yake rike a hannu na nace "kayi hakuri mijina, Allah ya huci zuciyarka" 

Sai ya jawo ni jikinsa ya rungume "thank you thank you my love" ya dago kaina "Mufida ta gaya min ashe kun samu matsala ne da Maryam din, tayi kokarin fadar maganar banza a kaina and you depended my honor. Nagode Allah yayi miki albarka, Allah ya raya mana Yasmin da Asad ya kawo kannen su lafiya" ya karasa yana kashe min ido.

Na zame jikina daga gare shi na shiga daki na kira number din Yaya Mubaraka. 

"Salamu alaikum, Yaya barka da rana. Dan Allah ina son ganinki ne akwai maganar da zamuyi please. Tana da muhimmanci sosai. Eh duk sanda kika samu time ko ki shigo ko ki bani lokacin da kike gida sai ni in shigo. Okay shikenan. Nagode sosai. A gaida yaran"..

Lokaci yayi da zan shiga third step dina

Ga masu son siya zasu iya turo kudin su #300 zuwa wannan account din

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*wannan littafin na siyarwa ne a bisa amana, idan baki siya ba kar ki karanta idan kuma kin siya kar ki yi sharing, in kika yi kin ci amana kuma ke da Allah*

*The Third Step*

Na zauna a bakin gado ina jujjuya wayar a hannuna. Yaya Mubaraka zan gaya wa sannan in roke ta ta gaya wa Mama da Baba su shigo into the battle of rescuing their son daga kan hanyar da ya dauka.

Tabbas Umar baiyi admitting yayi ba, but deep inside me nasan cewa yayi din, duk da cewa maganganun sa gabakidaya sun tafi dai-dai babu karkacewa amma the guilt on his face shi ya gaya kin komai. Shi abinda bai sani ba shine, yawanci lokacin da yake yin karya, abinda yake cewa daban abinda fuskarsa take nuna a daban. Da bana fahimta, amma a hankali yanzu ina fahimta.

Bana bukatar bincika wa akan maganar kama Maryam da yasa akayi, that I am sure yayi din, dan bana jin a gurin sa Maryam ta kai darajar Zuwaira ko Zahra ko sauran wadanda ban sani ba, kamar yadda na gaya mata a gurin sa darajar ta daya take data toilet paper din daya goge datti daga jikinsa ya jefar a shara, ba ita ba kuma duk macen da zata nemi namiji ta kuma bashi kanta kyauta, ko kuma wadda namiji zai nema da alfasha kuma ta amince masa suyi, kawai dan yana da kyau ko kuma dan yana da kuɗi ko fame ko kuma yayi mata karya tare da alkawarin aure, in dai kika yarda kika bashi kanki, to darajar ki a gurinsa daya take da ta used toilet paper. Gurin ajiye ki shine shara. In maryam's case gurin ajiye ta shine bayan kanta.

Ba zata kuma iya bude bakinta ta karyata cewa ta shiga office dinsa tayi masa sata ba saboda an ganta tana shiga, kuma ba zata iya fadar abinda ta shiga tayi ba saboda stain din sai yafi karfi akanta akan akanshi. Ya nannade ta da jijiyoyin jikinta, babu yadda zata yi dole ta amshi laifin sata dan sai ya fiye mata akan laifin zina. It is left to him ya fadi abinda ta daukar masa kuma dole ta karba dan hausawa sunce na shiga ban dauka ba bata fitar da barawo.

Tabbas yanzu ta fahimci waye Umar, she have tested his wrath kamar yadda na fada mata. Tabbas yanzu ta san matsayin ta a gurinsa. Sai naji wani barin na zuciyata yana tausaya mata.

Ina nan a zaune sai gashi ya shigo da Asad a hannunsa, "wai kina daki dama, muna ta nemanki ni da Asad?" Nayi ajjiyar zuciya "eh ina nan, waya nayi" 

Sai ya zauna akan gadon sannan ya kwanta tare da dora kansa akan cinyata "wannan pillow yana da laushi" na dauke kaina bance komai ba, sai ya saka hannu ya dan mintsine ni a cinya "na juyo da sauri" "ash!" Yayi dariya "ni bana so kina ta tunani haka, nafi son kina kallo na kina murmushi" na juya ido na sai ya kama hannuna ya dora akan fuskarsa irin yadda nake yi masa in ya dora kansa akan cinyata, nayi kokarin dauke hannun sai ya rike shida nasa hannun "wai tunanin me kike yi ne? Tunani na?" Ya fada yana kashe min ido, nace "ya zanyi inyi tunanin ka bayan gaka a gaba na kuma?" Ya sake tambaya "to tunanin wa kike yi?" Nace "tunanin Umma ta, na kwana biyu ban ganta ba" yace "you know what? The day is still young mu shirya muje mu ganta mana" na danji dadi a raina nayi murmushi sai shima yayi "that's it, gashi nan yanzu naga murmushin ki ai" nace "to naji, daga ni inje in shirya" sai ya kara kusa kansa jikina tare da jujjuya kafa kamar mai yin bori "ni ba zan tashi ba ni cinyar ki dadi" Asad da yake zaune akan cikinsa ya kalkale da dariya ya dauka wasa yake yi masa, ni kuma na tattaro kan na daga shi na zame sannan na dangwarar da shi akan dago, making sure cewa wuyansa ya amsa. 

Ya rike wuyan kuwa "ouch" Asad ya sake yin dariya sai kuma ya kama yi masa chakulkuli "kake min dariyar mugunta ko? Sai na rama ko a kanka ko a kan babarka" suka cigaba da wadansu ni kuma na wuce su ma shiga toilet.

Bamu bata lokaci ba muka shirya tunda duk munyi wankan mu dama, sannan muka dauki hanyar gida, a hanya ya tsaya ya saki frozen chicken "kar muje mu shigar musu gida hannu rabbana" sai kuma ya sayi fruits yana murmushi "wannan na Amira ne, sarkin kwadayi" ni dai bance masa komai ba, duk wata hanya da za'a kama mutum Umar ya san da ita.

Muna zuwa gida muka tarar Abba yana kokarin fita, muka gaishe shi gabakidaya yana ta yiwa Umar fara'a karshe har da ce masa ya shiga cikin gida kar ya zauna a sitting room ai shima dan gida ne, sai ga Umar a falon Umma wadda nan da nan ta kawo masa abinci da abin sha ni kamar ma sunfi jin dadin ganinsa akai na dan yar kallo na koma a gefe a zaune, Amira ce mai zuba masa abinci tana tayi masa zance, Farhan ma ta shigo aka cigaba da ita, suna ta musu ita da Umar akan yace combination din da take yi a College ba mai kyau bane baita kuma tana kare kanta. 

Sai da nayi mita nace ni babu wanda zai kula ni ballantana a bani abincin sannan suka juyo kaina suna min dariya, "wanne marar aikin yi ne zai zauna yana zuba miki abinci?" Inji Farhan, sai ya dauki chokali ya saka min a cikin plate din sa "zo muci kinji? Rabu da Farhan in kowa bai kula ki ba ai ni zan kula ki" Farhan ta bude baki "a gaban Umma ko?" Sai ya sunkuyar da kai yana shafa keya, Umma kuma ta tashi ta shiga daki tana murmushi, daga gani zuciyarta fes take jinta ganin mijin yarta yana kula da ita "uhm uhm kuci abincin ku".

Sai na dauki wani plate din na zuba sannan na saka Amira ta yanka mana fruits a cikin wadanda muka zo dasu. A lokacin ne Farhan take bani labarin cewa an fasa bikin yaya Jamila. Na ajiye spoon din hannuna na rike ba "innalillahi. Me ya faru?" Tace "to waya sani ne? An saka rana har lokaci yazo kuma kawai sai mijin ya aiko wai a bashi kudin sa ya fasa" na fara girgiza kaina cikin takaici, ina jin babu dadi har cikin raina. 

"Allah ya kawo mata wani wanda ya fishi alkhairi" tace "ameen fa. Ni tausayin ta nake ji Allah. Ta kusa tsufa a gida fa. Ni kaina da nake kanwar bayanta ina ji na kamar nafi kowa dadewa a duniya banyi aure ba ballantana ita. Ban san ya take ji a ranta ba dan ma babansu babu ruwansa da Abba ne da tuni ya yayyanka ta yayi farfesunta ya raba wa makota"

Umar yayi dariya, na juya ina hararar sa, wato har ma bakin dariya yake dashi kenan, nace "ke Farhan. Abba fa duk cika baki ne yake yi. Ke yanzu sanda muka gama secondary school mun taba saka ran cewa zakiyi shekara biyar a gida ba tare da aure ba?" Amira tace "Abba fa duk yayi sanyi yanzu fa. Gashi nima Umma ta tambayar min kuma ya barni in nemi makaranta in na samu in shiga. Dama tunda ya bar Farhan nima na saka ran zai barni" Farhan tace "babu wani sanyi da yayi fa, gigin tsufa ne kawai ya fara kama shi" Umar yace "ke! Ki kiyaye ni fa, baban nawa kike gayawa haka?" Duk suka yi dariya sannan ya koma kan maganar da Amira tayi na zancen makaranta, yayi uwa yayi makarbiya, ya karbi takardun ta kuma yace shi zai samo mata makarantar.

Duk maganar da suke yi ban saka musu baki ba, sai da nayi realising yayana basa tare da mu sannan na tambayi inda suke sai aka ce min suna gurin Hajiya wai ta kira su, nayi mamakin amma kuma sai na tuna hajiyar kamar ta chanja kamar ba irin ta da bace ba. Sai da aka kira sallar laaasar sannan Umar ya tashi yace zai dawo ya dauke mu da magrib, na fito zan raka shi sai ga Hajiya ta fito daga dakin ta ya durkusa ya gaishe ta "naji har zaka tafi ai, ita kuma yar tawa ko dan kara ba zata yi ta kawo ka gurina ka gaishe ni ba" ya shafa kai yana kallo na yace "ta gaya min in shigo ai, nine nace ta bari sai na dawo dan an kira ni ne yanzu ana nemana da gaggawa" banyi mamakin karyarsa ba dan in da sabo na saba, shi a ganinsa yayi ne dan ya kare ni kar Hajiya ta ga laifina,ni kuma a ganina wannan bai kai dalilin yin karya ba. 

Sai ga su Yasmin sun fito hannu rike da alawa da biscuits, har zai fita sai da Hajiya ta ja hankalin sa lallai sai da yaga abinda ta bawa yayansa, shi kuma ya nuna jin dadinsa har da yi mata godiya sannan ya fita na bishi a baya.

A gaban motar sa ya tsaya, nace "sai ka dawo" na juya zan koma sai yarike hannu na, na juyo da sauri ina kalle kalle a layin, na hango majalisar maza da take bakin layin mu kuma na tabbatar suna hango mu suma, nace "dan Allah ka sake ni a waje fa muke" yace "kin tuna ranar da na fara ruke hannun ki? Adai dai gurin nan?"

Na sunkuyar da kaina ina tuna ranar, ranar da aka daura auren mu, yace "lokacin ba kya fushi dani, lokacin kina sona sosai, lokacin bana jin akwai wanda zai iya shiga tsakanin mu" ba dago kai ins kallon sa "to yanzu mai ta faru?" Ya langwabe kai "nima ban sani ba, banajin dadin yanayin fuskar ki sam. Dan Allah ki saki ranki. Kiyi hira da Umma kiji dadin ki, in akwai wani abu da kike so bayan ganin Umma ki fada min ko menene zanyi miki shi Jidda. Ni dai kawai so nake inga kina farin ciki" 

Nace "kayi duk abinda zaka yi min. Nagode kuma" ya sake bata rai "amma baki yi min murmushi ba ai" na kirkiri murmushi nayi sai yace "that one is fake, bana son sa" ya kama daya hannun yana kokarin jawo ni jikinsa, na bude ido "yaya Faruq a titi fa muke, akwai mutane fa" 

Ya daga kafada "ina ruwana da su? Matata ce fa" nace "dan Allah ka cika ni ni inajin kunyar su wallahi, har fa da abokan Abba a gurin" ya dan sake ni kadan yana murmushi "to kiyi min murmushi in ba haka ba ba zan tafi ba" na sake yi masa wani, "dan Allah ka tafi" ya saki hannuna "shikenan, na tafi din but in na dawo ko? In baki saki ranki ba ko? Ni kadai nasan me zan miki" na ja da baya ina satar kallon yan majalisar, a raina ina cewa suna can suna gulmar mu maybe, sai kuma nayi masa murmushi tare da daga masa hannu, yayi min blowing kisses sannan ya tafi.

Ina komawa gida na tarar Umma ta fito ta bawa Farhan da Amira sun fara aikin kajin da muka zo dasu "wannan manya manyan kaji haka ai sai mun kwana biyu muna ci, gaskiya yaron nan akwai kokari, ga kirki ga sakin fuska ga girmama mutane" nace "uhm" na kwanta akan kujera na rufe ido na ina tunanin abinda ya dame ni, amma basu barni nayi tunanin ba sai da Farhan ta jawo ni tsakar gida mukayi aikin kajin tare, muna ta hirar shirye-shiryen bikin yaya Tahir da za'a yi kwanan nan. A lokacin ne Umma take bani labarin ita ma Aira (yar Aunty Afia) an aiko tambayar auren ta. 

Har magrib muna tsakar gida, mun soya kajin anyi farfesun wasu kuma za'a ci a matsayin abincin dare, Farhan tana ta tsokanar Umma wai ta kira Abba tace ya taho da bread "ke ce amarya, zaki iya lallaba shi" nace "ke fa Farhan baki da kunya, halin ku daya da Umar" sai na fara bata labarin ranar da nake ce masa naga Aunty kamar tana fushi sai yake wai ko period take yi, mukayi ta dariya, Abbah (yayan Jidda) ya shigo shima yayi joining hirar sai ga yaya Muslim nan da yaya Tahir sun shigo tare suma duk aka hadu aka shimfida tabarma anan tsakar gida, Umma ta zubawa Hajiya nata naman aka kai mata daki sannan yaya Tahir ya siyo mana bread din muka hadu muka ci abincin tare sai naji duk stress din da nake ciki ya barni, sai naji kamar inyi ta zama na anan gida kar in koma gidan Umar, sai naji kamar in dawo da hannun agogo baya in dawo lokacin da nake gida. 

Mun gama cin abinci kenan sai muka ji sallamar Mammy, duk muka bita da kallon mamaki, yaya Muslim ya kalli ogogon wayarsa yace "ke daga ina kike haka da daddaren nan?" Ta zauna a bakin tabarmar da muke kai ta ajiye yar karamar jakar kayanta sannan tace "daga gida" ya bata rai "kawai su iyayen naki sai suka barki kika fito da magriba? In zaki zo ba sai kizo tun safe ba? Ko kwana zaki yi?" Ta kalle ni "aunty Jidda gidan ki zan tafi, binki zanyi" 

Na bude ido "gida na kuma?" Ta gyada kai "eh wallahi. Na gaji da zama babu abinda nake yi, tunda muka yi candy ni ba makaranta ba ni ba aiki ba ni ba sana'a ba sai dai in kwanta in tashi. Gidan ki zanje in taya ki zama" 

Nace "gidan nawa ma Mammy in kinje ai babu abinda zakiyi, shima dai zaman ne zakiyi tayi. In maganin zaman banza kike so sai ki nemi sana'a ko ki samu makaranta" ta sake turo baki "ni dai nafi son can, ko aikin gida nake taya ki kinga sai ki koya kin girki irin na yan gayu" na juya na kalli Umma sai ta girgiza min kai a hankali, na juyo ina kallon Mammy nace "to sai dai kya zo wata rana. Amma kinga yanzu daga nan ba gida zamu tafi ba unguwa zamu je, kuma gobe zamuyi tafiya dan yanzu ma sallama muka zo yi wa su Umma, sai dai watarana sai ki zo mu zauna din" 

Tayi kamar zata yi kuka "to ba sai ku tafi dani inda zaku je ba? Ai dai shi daddyn Yasmin bashi da problem ba zai yi complain dan kin tafi da ni ba" Farhan ta dungure ta "dalla ki rufe wa mutane wannan bakin rashin kunyar naki, basu shirya tafiya da ke ba kawai lokaci daya sai ki zo ki ce sai kin bisu? Ko tace zata tafi dake ma wallahi ba zaki je ba kinji na gaya miki" ta dauki jakar ta tana kunkuni ta tafi dakin Hajiya, Farhan tace "kar dai ki zage ni, in ba haka ba inzo in balla kafar ki daya" 

Sai bayan ta shige sannan nayi realising babu wanda ta gaisar a cikin mu, har Umma.

Sai wajen karfe takwas Umar yazo, sai ya tsaya a waje kawai ya kira ni na dauko yara Asad har yayi bacci, nayi wa Umma sallama ina jin babu dadi, na kuma yiwa Hajiya sallama tana min mitar Mammy ta taho takanas tun daga gidan su dan ta bini gida na amma naki tafiya da ita, ban ja maganar ba sai kawai nayi dariya na mike na fita, Farhan da Amira suka raka ni na saka yara na a bayan mota na shiga gaba muka tafi. Muna tafiya ya leko fuska ta, "muga fuskar" na harare shi sai yayi murmushi "that's a little bit better"

Kwana biyu bayan nan yaya Mubaraka tazo kamar yadda tayi min alkawari zata zo, daga office take dan haka na fara gabatar mata da abinci ta kuma ci sosai sannan na kunna wa yara cartoons mu kuma muka tafi dakina muka zauna. 

Ta kama hannuna "Jidda kin ce zamu yi magana, kuma tun a wayar na fahimci magana ce mai muhimmanci zamuyi din menene? Naga kamar kina cikin damuwa ki gaya min menene yake damunki? Wani abu ne ya faru ko yake faruwa?" 

Tun kafin in amsa mata sai naji hawaye ya fara taho min, it felt so good a tambaye ka abinda yake damun ka ba wai a kawai a kalleka ayi assuming you are okay ba. Ta bude ido "innalillahi, Jidda kuka kike yi ai, abin har yayi girma haka? Dan Allah ki gaya min menene ya faru? Faruq ne yayi miki wani abu?" Na dago kai ina kallon ta, ina jin nauyin abinda zan gaya mata, sai kuma na tuna tsakanin su da Umar tabbas ba zata tona asirin sa ba.

"Yaya... Faruq....... Umar neman mata yake yi" 

Na saki hannu na sannan ta rufe bakinta tana matsawa daga kusa dani "innalillahi wa inna ilaihir rajiun. Jidda? Kin tabbatar? Ya akayi kika sani? Wani ne ya gaya miki? Kama shi kika yi?" 

Ta jero min tambayoyin. Farko sai na rikice na rasa amsar da zan bata. Sai kuma na tattaro nutsuwa ta na fara bata labari "tun farkon auren mu na sani. Tun da cikin Yasmin" 

Sai na bata labarin zuwan Zuwaira gidan da duk abinda ya wakana har zuwa munanan hotunan su da zuwairan ta turo min waɗanda har yau basu bar cikin kai na ba. Sai kuma na cigaba da bayani "tun a lokacin ya yarda, har ma ya tabbatar min da cewa sun dade tare, har ma a gidan nan ya taba ajiye ta na tsahon lokaci sanda yana karatu a buk, amma kuma sai yayi min alkawarin ya daina tunda ya aure ni ya daina wannan karon ma tsautsayi ne da sharrin shaidan"

Sai na cigaba da bata labarin abubuwan da suka cigaba da faruwa, bayan nan, yadda ya ringa yi min karya, yadda ya dinga yi min alkawarin ya daina kuma yazo ya karya da kansa, irin munanan hirarrakin su shida Bashir dana ringa gani har zuwa case din Maryam.

"Shi yasa na yanke shawarar in gaya miki ke kuma ki gaya wa su Mama dan su san halin da yake ciki suyi masa fada da nasiha sannan kuma suke saka shi a cikin adduoin su dan na fahimci ni kadai ba zan iya ba, ina bukatar taimako, ina bukatar taimakon ku Yaya Mubaraka tun kafin ya zama too late. Lamarin Umar gaba yake yi yaya Mubaraka tunda har zai iya neman kawata nan gaba ban san wadda zai sake nema ba kuma. Na gaji, zuciyata ta gaji, ki taimaka min dan Allah..........."

Kuka nake yi sosai, itama kukan take yi......"har akayi har abin nan yayi nisa bamu sani ba? Ni dai ban taba sani ba Jidda ban taba ko tunanin jingina wannan mummunar halayyar akan Umar ba" na share hawaye na "ya dade fa sosai, ya gaya min tun yana Lagos, tun yana secondary school" 

Ta dafe kai "innalillahi wa inna ilaihir rajiun. Jidda shi ya gaya miki hakan da bakinsa? Da kansa ya amince da laifukan sa kuma har ya iya furta miki da bakin sa?" 

Na gyada kai "shi ya gaya min. Yace he is addicted to it. Amma sai yace yana iyakacin kokarin sa wajen ganin ya daina, abinda yasa kullum nake ta lallashin zuciyata nake kuma gaya wa kaina cewa zai daina din tun da yana iyakacin kokarin sa, kinga na hana shi social media kuma ya daina, na ce ya rabu da Bashir kuma ya rabu dashi, then I have no reason to think cewa bashi da niyyar dainawar, amma sai ya saka min da neman kawata. Bayan kuma ta tona musu asiri a giri na shine ya kala mata sharrin sata ya saka aka kamata, duk da laifinta ne amma hakan ai ba dai dai bane ba kuma yana da alhakin ta"

Yaya Mubaraka ta gyada kai "tabbas naji maganar a gida, mamanta ta je gurin Mama jiya ni kuma na shiga gidan sai naji suna zancen da Mufida bayan uwar yarinyar ta fita cewa kawarku ce taje office dinsa tayi masa sata, har muke zancen abin kunya ki je office din mijin kawarki kiyi sata"

Na girgiza kaina nace "ba sata tayi masa ba" na sake yi mata bayanin abinda ya faru. 

Yadda nayi tunanin hankalin yaya Mubaraka zai tashi sai naga yafi ma hakan tashi, tayi ta rantse min akan cewa basu sani ba.

"Mu dai munsan shi da wayan yammata, tun farkon shigarsa jami'a yake da yammata wasun su har gida suke zuwa nemansa, dan tun ina gida nasan akwai wasu da Mama ta taba zagewa tas da ta gansu sunzo gurinsa amma bamu taba tunanin abinda yake tsakanin su kenan ba. Gidan nan kuwa tunda aka siye shi Baba yace ba zai zauna a ciki ba sai yayi aure,dan na tuna lokacin har sai da yayi ta nacin a barshi ya dawo nan tunda yafi kusa da school amma Baba ya hana yace a gida zai cigaba da zama sai yayi aure tukunna. Ashe shi akwai abinda yake yi a gidan" 

"Abinda kawai zan iya ce miki na sani shine case din Ummi"

Na bude ido "Ummi. Me ya faru da Ummi kuma? Wani abu ya faru tsakanin Umar da Ummi? Na shiga uku ni Hauwa'u"

Sai naga hankalin ta ya kara tashi "baki sani ba? Bai gaya miki ba? Ni na dauka kin sani da ba zanyi mentioning ba" 

Na sake rikicewa, kar dai Umar har lalacewar sa ta kai ya nemi Ummi, Ummin da yace min is like a sister to him, in har ya nemi Ummi to tabbas babu wadda ba zai iya nema ba kenan "dan Allah ki gaya min Yaya, tunda kin riga kinyi mentioning hankali na ba zai jwnta ba sai naji gaskiyar magana in ba haka ba zanyi ta sake sake ne a raina" 

Ta fara kokarin kwantar min da hankali "kinga, ba wani abu bane ba, ba abinda muke magana akan shi bane ba. Amma kinsan Ummi bata gida yanzu ko? Kinsan ta koma gidan su ko?" Na gyada kai "sanda mukaje Lagos Aunty tace mana ta mayar da ita gida"

"Ba Aunty ce ta mayar da ita ba, guduwa tayi da kanta" Na bude ido "me yasa ta gudu?"

Tace "tun farkon zuwan Ummi gidan mu suka saba da Umar yana kulata sosai kamar yadda yake kula su Mufida, sai ta mayar dashi kamar abokin shawarar ta dan komai na Ummi in kana son ji to a gurin Umar zaka ji shi. To wai ashe ta dade tana gaya masa zancen wai tana so ta shiga Hausa film, kuma wai tana ta yi masa zancen wai Aunty tana takura mata tana cin zalin ta, ita ashe so ma tayi sanda kuka yi aure ya mayar da ita gidan sa shi kuma wai sai yaga bakya so shine yaki yarda. To wai yanzu bayan ta gama makaranta shine suka shirya zai saka ta a film din, wai akwai wani abokin sa daya san wani producer, shine suka shirya plan ta ringa daukar kayanta a hankali tana bashi yana boye mata har ta gama diban waɗanda zasu ishe ta kawai rana daya yazo gidan tace wai zata je gidan su friend dinta ashe zuwa tayi ta shiga motarsa da yayi packing acan gefe, shima ya gama abinda yake yi ya bi bayan ta suka tafi" 

"Shiru shiru Aunty taga bata dawo ba, har dare, sai ta kira maman yarinyar da tace zata je gidan su sai aka ce ai bata je ba. In gaya miki tashin hankali, akayi ta kiran number din yarinyar nan wallahi taki dauka daga baya ma sai ta kashe wayar. Nema nema nema, kwana da kwanaki babu Ummi babu labarin ta. Baba yana Lagos lokacin dole ya biyo jirgi ya taho aka zo akayi ta nema. Kuma abin haushin har da Umar a neman ta kusan shine ma kan gaba a neman ta ashe yasan inda take"

Nace "amma Yaya, duk wannan abin ace bani da labari?" 

Tace "to ai duk mun dauka kin sani, tunda mijinki ne yake ta kokarin nema dan haka ya za'a yi muyi tunanin bai gaya miki ba? Sai da aka kusan kwana goma sai kawai ga kira daga gidan su Aunty wai ga Ummi can taje gida ita da wani film producer wai yazo neman iznin iyayen ta zai saka ta a film, dama wai suna da ka'ida duk mace sai da saka hannun iyayenta"

"Suka sallami masu film din suka ce a'a su ba zasu saka yar su a film ba, sannan suka lakada mata shegen duka, sai da taji kamar zasu kashe ta sannan ta fadi gaskiyar cewa da saka hannun Umar, shi ya hada ta ma da yan film din a bisa alkawarin ba zata fadi shine ba"

"Haka baban Aunty yazo yayi wa Aunty tas, yace sakacin ta ne, amma da yake masu kawaici ne ko kallon Umar ba suyi ba. Ita kuma Aunty tayi masa Allah ya isa tace babu ita babu shi kuma ba zata taba yafe masa ba. Yarinyar nan Allah kadai yasan abinda ya faru da ita a cikin kwanakin da bata gida, sun ce ma aure zasuyi mata"

Nayi shiru ina tunani, ina tunanin wanne irin cin amana ne wannan? Wanne irin mutum ne Umar? Wanne irin mutum na aura? How Aunty must have felt!

Sai naji kuma ina jin tsoron Allah ya isan ta kar ta dawo ta shafe mu ni da yayana. 

Yaya Mubaraka ta yi ta bani hakuri "tabbas nasan kinyi hakuri sosai da sosai Jidda, amma dole zan kara baki wani hakurin, Allah ya kara miki hakuri shi kuma Allah ya shirya mana shi. Kuma gobe insha Allah zan je gida in samu Mama, zan gaya mata komai kuma insha Allahu zata dauki mataki mai kyau, nima kuma zan neme shi muyi magana. Sai ran sa ya baci wallahi. Stufid boy kawai"

Naji dadin yadda yaya Mubaraka ta karbi maganar, sai dai kuma maganar da muka yi da ita sai ta tayar min da damuwa ta na wuni cikin kunci da bacin rai. Ga maganar Ummi da ta zo min a matsayin sabuwa sai abin ya hadu ya saka min rashin lafiya, ciwon kai, daga baya kuma sai zazzabi mai zafi ya rufe ni. 

Ina nan kwance a daki da yara suna ta hawa kaina suna wasan su sai gashi nan ya shigo. Ya tsaya yana kallona "are you sick?" Ya fada muryar sa da damuwa, na gyada kai kawai, sai ya hawo gadon ya bude bargon dana rufa da shi yana taba wuyana "subhanallah. Jiddah me yake yi miki ciwo?" "Kaina ne yake ciwo, sai kuma zazzabi" 

Ya sauka daga kan gadon yana cewa "kuma shine kika kwanta? Ba zaki kira ni ki gaya min ba? Da kuma ban dawo da wuri ba fa?" Ya fita sai gashi da robar ruwa da magani, ya kamani ya tasar dani zaune sannan ya bani magani "oya sha magani, in bai sauka ba kuma sai inyi miki allura" na karba nasha sannan na koma na kwanta ya gyara min rufa ta sannan ya dauki Asad ya ja hannun Yasmin "ku taho mu bar mommy ta huta"

Bayan sun fita bacci ya dauke ni, sanda na tashi sai na ganshi shi kadai a zaune a gaban gadon da wayata a hannun sa yana daddanna wa, yana jin motsin na juyo yana kallona, fuskar sa da damuwa

"Sannu Baby, bara in samo miki wani abin ki ci" nace "ina su Yasmin?" Yace "nayi musu wanka na kwantar da su a dakina dan kar su dame ki" na rufe ido na, anya kuwa akwai miji a wannan zamanin mai kula da matarsa kamar yadda Umar yake kula dani? Anya kuwa akwai miji mai wulakanta matarsa kamar yadda Umar yake wulakanta ni?

I find it hard to place him, a wanne matsayi yake? Miji na gari ko mugun miji?

Ya mike zai fita sai na rike hannunsa, ya juyo yana kallona sai nace "ka saka an saki Maryam?" Ya juyo yana kallona "kin damu da ita?" Nace "na damu da kai" sai ya hawo kan gadon ya dora kansa akan pillown da nake, fuskarsa kusa da tawa yace "me yasa zaki damu da kamatan da akayi?" Nace "saboda bana so ka dauki alhakin ta, saboda kai mijina ne, duk hanyar da zaka bi zan so ace kyakykyawa ce, in kuma kabi hanya marar kyau zan yi iyakacin kokari na in dawo da kai kan hanya mai kyau, duk abinda nayi ko zanyi dan kai ne, dan nutsuwar ka ita ce tawa ni da yayan mu wadanda muke da su da wadanda zamu haifa nan gaba" 

Ya shafa fuskata yana murmushi "Nagode. Kuma an bada bail din ta tun jiya. Ina son kuma ki sani cewa you are the best thing that happened to my life, and I love you too" na rufe idona ina jinjina kalmar love, anya kuwa da akwai sauran ta a cikin zuciyata akan Umar, in ma da akwai bana jin ya kai 30% din yadda yake da, sai dai kyautatawar sa, kulawar sa da nuna damuwar sa akaina su suke rike da wannan sauran 30 din.

Ga masu son siya zasu iya turo kudin su #300 zuwa wannan account din

0779484494
Nafisa Tafida Usman
Access Bank

Sai su turo evidence of payment zuwa wannan number din ta hanyar WhatsApp
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*wannan littafin na siyarwa ne bisa amana ne idan baki siya ba kar ki karanta, idan kuma kin siya kar kiyi sharing, idan kika yi kinci amana kuma ke da Allah*

*A lesson for all*

Kwana na biyu ina kwance ba lafiya, a karshe Umar bayan yayi min allurai sai ya tafi dani asibiti ya yi min tests, har da cewa "Allah ya sa ciki ne" na kalle shi kawai ban ce komai ba sai yace "kar kiyi mamakin in muka ga shine, kin san condom is not 100% reliable" a hankali nace "I am glad you know that" ya kalle ni kawai sai yayi shiru. 

A asibiti pregnancy test din da yayi min turned out negative, babu abinda ya gani sai high bp, tun daga asibitin yake kumbura. "Ni ban san matsalar ki ba Jidda, gabakidaya kin chanja kullum cikin tunanin gashi nan kina neman kiyi wa kanki illa, ni nafi so in kina da problem kiyi min magana, in nayi miki wani abu kiyi min magana mu zauna mu tattauna, bana son wannan bacin ran da kike sakawa kanki akan abinda ni bansan menene shi ba. Yanzu dole in dora ki akan magani" 

Nayi shiru kawai ina jin sa, a raina nace pretender, ya kware gurin pretending everything is okay bayan ni da shi munsan it is not. Bansan me ya shiga kansa ba sa da ya nemi Maryam, bansan wacce zuciyar ce ta gaya masa cewa we will continue being okay bayan ya kwanta da kawata, ban san ta yaya yake tunanin zan iya cigaba da enjoying kwanciya da shi ba. Ban san ta yaya yake tunanin zan cire memory din daga zuciyata ba.

Ko da yake shi a ganinsa na yarda da maganar sa cewa Maryam office din sa ta shiga tayi masa sata.............

Sai dai wannan ba shine abinda ya fi daga min hankali a yanzu ba, abinda yafi tashin hankali na shine jiran tsammanin sakamakon aiken da nayi gurin Mama da Baba. 

Kamar amsar magana ta naji ya dauki wayarsa "Hello Mama. Bama gida ma yanzu, na kai Jidda asibiti muna hanyar komawa gida. Okay zamu shigo"

Naji zuciyata ta buga da karfi "na juya ina kallon sa naga shima ni yake kallo yace "Mama ce wai take neman mu yanzu, she sounded upset, Allah yasa ba laifi muka yi ba" sai na juya ina kallon side dina, nasan kiran na menene amma ban dauka zata kira mu ne tare ba, na dauka zata kira shine ta bincike shi ko ta saka a bincike shi ko ta gaya wa baba shi ya bincike su tabbatar da gaskiyar ko rashin gaskiyar maganata sannan sai su kira shi suji side dinsa su kuma yi masa fada tunda ni na riga na fadi nawa side din.

Daga nan bamu je gida ba gidan su muka tafi, kowa cikin mu yayi shiru sai Yasmin da take ta surutun ta mostly ita kadai. 

Har muka je gidan yayi packing ya zagayo ya bude min ya kuma kama hannuna na fito ina dafe kaina da yake yi min kamar zai tsage "sannu" yace "sannan yayi "da na sani ma gida na kaiki tunda dai na riga na gaya mata ba kya jin dadi" na girgiza kaina "no, muje kawai tunda mun riga mun zo" ya dauko Asad ni kuma na kama hannun Yasmin muka shiga. 

Babu kowa a babban palon gidan, na samu guri na zauna shi kuma yashiga dakin Mama. Shiru shiru bai fito ba, a lokacin da za'a sake auna bp na da nasan kadan ya rage ya kai ga ƙwaƙwalwa ta ta buga gabakidaya. Ga dai TV nan a gaba na amma babu abinda nake fahimta a cikin abinda suke yi. Ina ta kallon dakin Mufida wai ko zata fito maybe in tayi min magana zan dan dauke hankali na daga maganar da Umar suke yi da Maman sa a cikin daki. 

Kamar daga sama ya bude kofa ya fito, sai ya tsaya yana kallo na da handle din kofar a hannun sa, mun jima muna kallon kallo sannan na sunkuyar da kaina kasa ina ambata "innalillahi wa inna ilaihir rajiun" 

Maganar Mama naji tace "sannu Jidda" yadda ta fadi sannun da gatse ya saka nayi saurin dago kaina ina kallon ta, ta wuce Umar tazo ta zauna akan kujera tana kallona da wani irin expression a fuskarta dana kasa fassara wa. Na gaishe ta "barka da fitowa Mama" 

Bata amsa ba tace "daga farko dai ina son inji bayan Mubaraka wa kika gaya wa maganar nan" na dago kai na kalle ta na kuma sunkuyar da kaina, automatically hawaye yana tahowa ido na, "ban gaya wa kowa ba Mama, dama so nayi ta gaya muku tukunna....." Ta katse ni "to alhamdulillah. Tambaya ta biyu da zanyi miki ita ce, menene Umar ya rage ki dashi? Menene kike so wanda bai yi miki ba?" Na sake dago kai tare da kokarin bude baki zanyi magana amma voice din sai yaki fitowa, ta daga murya "ki fada min mana ina jin ki? Meye bai yi miki ba da zaki bishi da wannan sharrin?" 

Na fara kuka sosai, Umar ya karaso da sauri ya durkusa a gaban Mama "Mama dan Allah ki bar maganar nan, na gaya miki sabani ne muka samu kuma zamu daidaita, bata da lafiya kinga dan Allah kar kiyi mata fada" 

Ta kai hannu kamar zata doke shi, "matsa daga kusa dani tun kafin in targada ka, yanzu lalacewar taka Umar har ta kai haka? Har ta kai yarinyar da ta dubi idona ta kala maka wannan sharrin ita kuma zaka zo kana karewa a gaba na? Anya kuwa Umar ba sai na hada ka da addu'a ba? Anya kuwa wannan soyayyar ta Allah da Annabi ce" 

Ta juyo kaina ta nuna ni da dan yatsa "wallahi Jidda kiji tsoron Allah. Yaron nan babu irin fadi tashin da bamuyi akan sa ba babu irin ilimi da tarbiyyar da mu bashi ba, kuma idan baki sani ba bara in sanar da ke, babu irin yammatan da basu so shi ba, wadanda kuma suka fiki komai da komai amma shi ya nace ya dage sai ke, mu kuma muka bi son da muka ga yana yi miki muma muka so ki sosai muka dauke ki daya da dukkan yayan mu, ashe ke din ba yar goyo bace ba" 

"Kullum na ganki sai nayi tunanin menene yake hana ki kiba, ke ba rashin ci ba ba rashin sha ba, ke ba kishiya ba kuma ke babu abinda kika nema kika rasa amma sai bushewa kike yi a tsaye, ashe shegen kishi kika dauka kika saka a ranki."

"Shikenan kuma dan ya aure ki sai aka ce mikin a zai kula kowacce mace ba kenan? Shi kenan sai aka ce miki duk macen da kika ganshi da ita neman ta yake yi? Ita wannan yarinyar da kika yi magana akanta ba Mufida ta gaya min cewa kawarki bace kuka yi fada, sai ta shirya masa sharri to gate back at you? A tsakanin ku waye ya kamata yaji haushi? Shi da akayi kokarin batawa suna akan ki ko kuma ke da idan da zaki saka kishi aside zaki fahimci cewa sharri ne?"

Naji hannayen Yasmin a bayana ta zagaye ni da su tana dan jijjiga ni kamar mai rarrashina. Naji Umar ya sake magana "Mama dan Allah ki bar maganar nan haka. Rashin fahimta ne muka samu a tsakanin mu kuma zamu warware matsalar a tsakanin mu insha Allah. Ki bar mu mu tafi gida kawai, ki manta ma da cewa hakan ya faru" 

Tace "ai ni bani na shigar da kaina maganar ku ba ita ta shigar dani tunda ita ta aiko takanas azo a gaya min, maganganun fa su a da yawa data shishshirya wadanda ni ina ji na fahimta cewa shiri ne, raina ya baci ne kawai saboda banyi tsammanin haka daga gareta ba, shi yasa na nuna mata bacin raina dan ta kiyayi gaba kuma ya zama warning a gareta cewa ni ba zan bar dana guda daya a duniya ya zama bawan mace ba, tunda duk abinda ake mata bata gode Allah ba yanzu kam sai mu saka kafar wando daya ni da ita mu gani, dan halak ka fasa" 

Ya sake cewa "Mama please" tace "kasan Allah in ka kara yi min magana sai na fasa bakin ka, banza shanyayye. Ni bansan yadda akayi ka koma solobiyo ba wallahi, ina zafin ka yake ina zuciyar ka take da har mace zata samu uwarka ta gaya mata wadannan maganganun amma ka zauna kana kare ta kuma"

Haka ta cigaba da fada sai da ta wanke ni tas a gaban Umar, wai Umar ni ma mai bada hakuri, karshe sai ta hada dashi tayi masa fadan me yasa yake kare ni. Sai da tayi ta gama dan kanta sannan tace mu tashi mu tafi. Yazo ya kama hannuna ya mikar dani tsaye, ban musa mishi ba dan na tabbatar in na tashi faduwa zanyi dan jiri kawai ne yake dibana, sai daya kai ni mota na shiga sannan ya saka yara a baya ya tashi motar muka tafi. 

Muna fita daga gate din gidan na juyo ina kallon sa nace "gidan mu zaka kaini" yayi banza dani kamar bai jini ba, na sake maimaita wa ganin ya dauki hanyar gida, "Umar ka kaini gidan mu na gaya maka, wallahi ko ka kaini gidan ka sai na fito, yau a gidan mu zan kwana" 

Ya juyo ya kalle ni, fuskar sa da alamar bacin rai yace "da iznin waye zaki je gidan? The last time I checked ni mijinki ne kuma sai na baki izni sannan zaki je ko kofar gida ne" nayi shiru na kwantar da kaina a jikin kujerar mota amma a raina ina lissafa ko sama da kasa zasu hade sai naje gida gida sai dai ayi wacce za'a yi. Ai nima ina da iyayen kuma nima iyayena suna sona. 

Sai dai su suna da kawaici da sanin ya kamata. Ko kuma ince suna ganin suna da sanin ya kamata bayan ba wai kamatar yayi ba.

Sai naji ya cigaba da magana

"Why Jidda why? For God's sake what were you thinking? Ta yaya zaki samu mahaifiya ta wadda ta kawo ni duniya ki fada mata wannan maganar" na juyo ina kallon sa nace "kasan dalilin da yasa na gaya mata? Saboda ita ta kawo ka duniya kuma ita ya kamata kake kunsawa bakin cikin ka bani ba, na gaya mata ne dan zuciyarta ta buga maybe in bakin cikin ka yayi ajalinta sai kasan cewa ba daidai kake yi ba"

Yayi saurin yin packing a gefen titi ya juyo "what????" Na dauke kaina "in kaji haushin abinda nace ka kaini gidan mu, ka hada min da takarda ta" yayi shiru yana kallona sannan yace "okay, ranki a bace yake I get it. Ni kuma ba zan kula ki ba, sannan kuma gida nace ba zaki je ba" ya sake tayar da motar ya cigaba da tafiya.

"Maybe sanda kika gaya wa yaya Mubaraka maganar nan you though you were doing the right thing, but yanzu na tabbatar kin fahimci cewa it was not the right thing. Gashi kin jawo wa kanki fada a gurin Mama, na tabbatar baki san halin fadan Mama ba amma yanzu kin sani. But ni abinda ba gane ba shine; na dauka mun gama maganar nan tuntuni,  just because I confessed to you cewa da ina neman mata doesn't mean yanzu ina yi, ba na gaya miki na daina ba? Sau nawa ina gaya miki na daina wai? Me yasa ba zaki yarda dani ba wai Jidda? Abinda yafi komai kona min rai shine rashin yarda dani da kika yi kuma har zaki nuna min kin yarda da abinda nace sannan ki zagaye ki gaya wa Mama. Kina tunanin Mama zata yarda......"

Nace "zata yarda, da ace ka gaya mata gaskiya da zata yarda. Zata yi bakin ciki tabbas amma ba zatayi disowning dinka ba kuma zata yi maka abinda nake yi maka kwadayin samu wanda dalilin sane ya saka na gaya mata din, zata yi maka addu'a. Za ta kuma iya sakawa shima Baba yake yi maka addu'a. Tare da support din su da addu'ar su zamu ga karshen matsalar nan. Wannan shine dalilin da yasa na gaya mata" 

Sai kuma ya saukar da murya kasa "Jidda wai addu'ar menene Mama zata yi min ne? Me yasa wai ke baki yarda cewa na daina din ba?" Na girgiza kaina "saboda baka daina ba. Saboda karya kayi min da kace baka nemi Maryam ba. Na sani ka neme ta" 

"What?....... How...... Ta yaya ma zaki ce haka? Bayan ga bayani nayi miki kuma har police sun kama yarinyar nan ta kuma yi accepting laifin ta shiga office dina tayi min sata kuma na gaya miki a lokacin ne ta chanja band din bansan kuma me kike so in ce miki ba. Ban san me yasa baki yarda ba" 

Nace "guilty look din daya ke kan fuskarka a lokacin da kayi min wannan bayanin shine dalilin da yasa ban yarda ba, kuma look din shine yanzu ma akan fuskarka. Abinda baka sani ba Umar shine karya a baki kawai ka iya yin ta amma baka iya controlling emotions dinka. Abinda bakinka yake fada daban abinda fuskarka take nunawa daban. Farkon auren mu bana ganewa sai daga baya na kara fahimtar ka.A duk lokacin da kayi min karya ina ganewa sai dai nakanyi shiru dan a zauna lafiya. Ka nemi Maryam, that's a fact, kuma in har yanzu baka yarda ba to kayi rantsuwa da Allah cewa baka neme ta ba" 

Nayi shiru ina kallon sa amma bai ce komai ba kuma bai kalle ni ba. Sai na cigaba "sanin ka nemi Maryam shi ya sa nayi tunanin sanar da iyayenka ina yi maka kwadayin addu'ar su, dan na fahimci tunda har ka iya neman kawata to Allah ne kadai yasan yawan wadanda kake nema, maybe har a cikin yan'uwa ma, natan ne dai ya fito tunda tayi niyyar tona maka asiri a guri na"

A lokacin muka shiga gida yayi packing ya juyo "Jidda" na daga masa hannu "please ka rike maganganun ka bana son ji, not now please" 

Muka yi shiru muna kallon juna, sai a lokacin muka ji sheshshekar kukan Yasmin. A tare muka bude kofa muka fita muka kuma bude kofar baya a tare, na riga shi daukan ta na rungume ta ina shafa bayanta "Yasmin? Menene kike kuka?" 

Ta dago kai tana kallona "ba Mama bace tayi miki fada kuma shine kuke fada ke da Daddy" 

Na sake rungume ta ina jijjiga ta kadan, a raina ina mamakin wayon yarinyar "ba fada muke yi ba Yasmin, magana kawai muke yi kinji" ya zagayo ya miko hannu zai karbe ta sai na wuce shi na tafi cikin gida shi kuma ya dauko Asad da yake ta baccin sa hankalinsa a kwance. 

Ya wuce dashi daki ya kwantar dashi, ni kuma na zauna a palo da Yasmin a jikina ina rarrashin ta. Sai gashi ya dawo da magungunan da ya siyo min tun a asibiti a hannun sa da kuma robar ruwa, ya ajiye min a gefe na sannan ya saka hannu ya dauki Yasmin "Yasmin, mu je daki ki kwanta kinji, ki bar mommy kinga bata da lafiya, yanzu ma zanzo inyi mata allura, shi yasa dazu a mota take cewa bata so ni kuma nake cewa sai nayi mata, wai ita tsoron allura take yi. Ba fada muke yi ba kinji mamana?" 

Da haka suka shige ciki ni kuma na kwanta akan kujera na rufe ido na ina sauraron yadda kaina yake tsananin sarawa, trying so hard not to think about maganganun Mama. Motsin sa naji ya dora hannun sa akan nawa da yake kan goshina. "Ciwon kan ne ko? Ki tashi ki sha magani" 

Na dan bude ido na kadan na kalle shi ina jin haushin yadda fuskarsa take nuna damuwa a kaina. Na ture hannun sa daga kan nawa "ina ruwanka da shan magani na? Ina ruwanka da lafiya ta?" Ya zauna a gaba na tare da bare maganin sannan ya bude robar ruwan "dan Allah ki sha, in kika samu lafiya zamu zauna muyi maganar kinji?" 

Nace "babu wata magana da zamuyi ni da kai, saboda mun gama magana tsakanin mu ya saka na kai maganar gurin iyaye dan nayi tunanin zasu fahimta za kuma a samu maslaha, I was wrong, amma yanzu ma ba zan hakura ba, gurin nawa iyayen zan kai maganar tunda Allah yasa nima ina da iyayen kuma suna so na nima" 

Yace "Jidda please, ki daina maganar zuwa gidan nan dan Allah. Ni bana so maganar nan ace ta kuma fita daga tsakanin mu, we i solve this together, ni da ke" na jiya kaina "I thought we can, tunda nasana halinka I kept thinking I can change you, yanzu na fahimci I can't, tunda har ka iya neman kawata nan gaba ban san wadda zaka nema ba kuma, Amira? Ba zan jira gar sai hakan ya faru ba. wallahi Umar a yanzu abinda yasa kawai nake cikin gidan ka gida daya ne, saboda bani da lafiya nasan ko bakin titi ba zan iya zuwa ba, amma duk sanda naji sauki abu daya ne zai hanani tafiya gidan mu"

Yayi saurin rike hannuna tare da cewa "menene? Me kike so?" Nace "ka koma gida ka samu Mama ka gaya mata cewa duk maganar da na fada gaskiya ce, kayi mata admitting mummunar dabiar ka kamar yadda kayi min, sai kuma ka roke ta take maka addu'a ta kuma baka shawarwari" 

Ya fara girgiza kai "Jidda Mama fa kike magana akai, mahaifiya ta ta yaya zan iya gaya mata maganar nan. Dazun ma ba wai dan in bata ki naki karbar maganar ba sai dan ba zan iya ba. Mahaifiya ta ce fa Jidda" na mike tsaye "saboda mahaifiyar ka ce shi yasa nake ganin ita ya kamata ta fara sanin halin da kake ciki, ko ba komai nasan ba zata yi disowning dinka ba kuma ina tunanin sai tafi kowa damuwa da kuma nema maka mafita. Amma ba zata yi hakan ba har sai ka amsa laifin ka" 

Ya sake cewa "I can't, Jidda I can't" na fara tafiya "then I have nothing more to do with you, daga na samu lafiya zan kama hanyar gidan mu tunda ni ma haifata akayi, nima kuma nawa iyayen suna so na kamar yadda nake son su" 

Ya riko hannu na ya mika min maganin, "to naji, ki sha magani amma, kinga in baki sha ba ai ba zaki samu lafiyar ba" na karba na jefa a baki na kora da ruwan da ya miko min sannan na wuce shi na shiga dakina na kwanta. Na fara tunanin yadda tafiya ta zata kasance zuwa gidan mu da zarar na farka naji jikina yayi karfi kuma na daina jin jiri.

Sai dai sanda na farka maimakon inji jikin da sauki sai ma karuwa da naji ciwon yayi, lokacin tsakiyar dare ne kuma zan iy cewa ba dan da sauran kwana na a gaba ba da a daren zan bar duniya, amma da taimakon Allah da kuma kasancewar Umar Doctor na wayo gari, da assuba ya dauke mu ni da yara ya ajiye yaran a gidan su sannan ya zarce da ni asibiti. 

Muna zuwa aka bani gado, aka kuma fara bani taimakon gaggawa saboda bayan bp na da yayi sama ga asthma ta data tashi ta rike min numfashi na, a very dangerous combination. A dole suka saka min oxygen sannan suka yi min allurai, Umar duk ya wani rikice, ni kuma rikicewar tasa tana kara kona min rai da kara saka min jin haushinsa, dan haka sai kawai na mayar da ido na na rufe, a haka bacci ya dauke ni.

Kwana na daya a asibitin ya matsa lallai sai an sallame ni, yace shi zai cigaba da kula da ni a gida, ni kuma na lura gani nake yi insecurities ne suke damunsa gani yake yi kamar zan fi saurin tafiya gidan ne daga asibitin kamar yadda nake ta gaya masa a duk lokacin dana bude ido na. Sai dai muna shiga gidan na jawo jaka na fara hada kaya na kuma nace yaje gidan su ya dauko min yayana dan ba zan tafi in barsu ba. 

Ya karbe jakar yana mayar da kayan ni kuma ina sake debowa ina mayar wa cikin jakar, ina sakawa shi kuma zai dauke ya mayar cikin wardrobe. A karshe dai ya zagaye ni da hannayensa ya kankame ni a jikin sa "Jidda, Jidda. Ki tsaya hakanan please. Listen to me please" 

Na fara kokarin kwace kaina shi kuma ya ki cikani a haka muka fada kan gado, da yake ba lafiya ce ta ishe ni ba kuma karfi na ya kare sai na kwanta lakwas shi kuma ya samu yadda yake so "dan Allah ki tsaya ki saurare ni Jidda. I know I have hurt you more than yadda nake tunani ma, kuma da kinsan nadamar da nake ciki yanzu a zuciya ta da kin sassauta min Jidda. Wallahi Jidda yarinyar nan ta jima tana nemana ban taba gaya miki bane ba saboda kar ranki ya baci, ta jima tana yinkuri bani kanta kyauta, kuma....... Jidda ban san me yazo kaina ba a lokacin dan Allah kiyi hakuri..... I had no idea plan dinta kenan..... I didn't know what I was doing or thinking...... Jidda dan Allah kiyi hakuri...."

Na lumshe idona hawaye yana zuba daga idon nawa, hawayen da nake jin su tamkar turiri ne da yake tahowa daga zuciya ta. Finally yayi accepting cewa yayi.

Nace "aikin gama ai ya riga ya gama ai. Ka riga ka zubar min da mutunci na ka kuma ya shi a kasa. Ka kuma zubar da duk wani sauran abu da yake tsakani na da kai accept for yayan da suke tsakanin mu da kuma igiyar auren ka da take wuyana. Abu dayaya rage shine a kiyaye gaba. Abinda nake tsoro shine ranar da zan ganka in the act a cikin gidan nan tare da wata shakikiya ta ko taka" 

Yayi sauri ya rufe min baki "Jidda don't say that please. Wallahi, kinji na rantse miki wallahi ko? Hakan ba zata  taba faruwa ba. Insha Allah Jidda in kika kara min wata dama, nasan banyi deserving kowacce dama ko alfarma a gurinki ba, amma in kika bani, bazan baki kunya ba Jidda nayi miki alkawari. We have come sooo far Jidda. Kar mu bari duk kokarin mu ya zama for nothing. Ki sake gaya min wadansu sharudan, ko menene zan bi kamar yadda nabi wadancan"

Nace "wadancan din ai baka bisu ba gabaki daya, da nace kayi auren ai baka yi ba" ya langwabe kai kamar zaiyi kuka "Jidda aure fa kike magana akai, shi aure ai ba haka kawai ake yinsa ba sai da niyya tunda ibada ne kuma sai na samu wadda nake so na kuma yarda cewa zan iya sakata cikin iyali na kuma ta haifa min yaya. Bani da niyya Jidda kuma bani da wadda zan iya aure a yanzu. Ki fadi wani sharadin please, in karamar wayar kike so in ajiye wallahi zan ajiye ta, in daya aikin kike so in bari in nemi wani source of income din wallahi I will do it indai hakan sai faranta miki"

Na girgiza kaina "ni fa duk dadin bakinka na gama jinsa, na gaya maka ai abinda nake so Umarul Faruq, kaje ka samu Mama ka gaya mata cewa duk abinda na fada gaskiya ne ba karya nake yi maka ba. Wannan ne kadai zai nuna min you are willing to change, sannan kuma zai samar maka abinda kwadayin sa ya saka na gaya mata in the first place, zai samar maka addu'ar ta data Baba, kuma za'a samu zaman lafiya da fahimtar juna a tsakanin mu, dan a yanzu ka riga ka shafa min bakin fenti a idonta, fentin da bana jin zai gogu anytime soon"

Yayi shiru yana kallon fuska ta, ina kallon adam's apple dinsa yana ta motsawa sannan ya rufe idonsa ya bude "Okay. Okay. I will do that. Amma a matsayin alkawari cewa zaki ajiye maganar zuwa gida and it will be karshen maganar nan tsakani na dake, we will never mention it again"

Na lumshe idona na bude sannan na gyada kai, "na yarda. And I really hope we will never mention it again" ya danyi murmushi, fuskarsa tana nuna hankalin sa ya fara kwanciya, sai yayi kissing goshina da cheeks dina yace "you are a very good wife Jidda, you don't deserve me, but insha Allah ba zan kuma baki kunya ba. Allah yayi miki albarka" 

He kept his own side of the bargain, ya je kuma yayi abinda mukayi dashi zaiyi din. Ban dai san ranar da yaje ba amma nafi tunanin kwana biyu bayan munyi maganar ne ranar da yaje ya dauko yara. Na kuma tabbatar da yaje din saboda baƙin da nayi washegari. Mama, Muhsina da Mufida. 

Tun daga yanayin shigowar su na gane babu lafiya, na zauna na gaishe da Mama taki amsawa kuma na lura babu wanda yayi min magana a cikin su Mufida, sai kuma Mama ta bude min fanfon bala'i ta inda take shiga ba tanan take fita ba.

Tace ni na matsawa Umar na saka shi ya amsa laifin da ba nasa ba kawai dan ya faranta min, saboda nayi masa sharri tayi min fada, shi yasa na dauki fushi da shi har na kirkiri ciwon karya na saka lallai sai yaje yace karyar da na fada akan sa gaskiya ce. 

"Kin san kuwa hukuncin kazafin zina a musulunci Jidda? Kin taba kamashi turmi da tabarya da mace? Kin san kuwa in aka kaiki Shari'a court a yanzu bulala nawa za a yi miki?"

"To wallahi ki shiga hankalin ki Jidda, kin rikita min yaro kin susuta min shi baya jin maganar kowa baya kuma ganin kowa da gashi sai ke. Farko na dauka soyayyar gaskiya ce yake yi miki har ina taya shi son ki, sai yanzu da abin ya fara wuce gona da iri sannan na fahimci ba haka kika bar shi ba, amma ki je ki biya malamin da yayi miki aiki a kansa dan tabbas yaci kudinsa, ke kuma ki jira ni, daga nan har Maiduguri sai naje na karya dukkan sihirin da kika yi masa"

"Sannan kuma ina ja miki kunne, wallahi wallahi kika kuma bin dana da wannan muguwar maganar har wani yaji, ko da kuwa babansa ne wallahi court ce zata raba mu ni da ke"

Tun da ta fara maganar na sunkuyar da kaina ina jujjuya zoben Umar da yake hannuna, ban dago kai ba har ta gama maganar ta kaf ballantana in tanka mata. Tana gamawa sai ga Umar ya shigo kamar daga sama yana huci, na daga kai ina kallon sa, daga gani nasan kiransa akayi amma ni bani bace na kira shi ba, jikina ya bani Mufida ce. 

"Mama!" Ya fada, ta nuna masa hannu "ka kiyaye ni Faruq, kar kasa inyi maka mummunar magana" na mayar da kaina kasa na ma daina kallonsa, ya zauna a gaban ta sai ta mike, suma yayan suka mike tare da ita. Muhsina taja tsaki "aikin banza aikin wofi" ya mike kamar wanda akayi wa allura yayi kanta uwar ta shiga tsakani "kar ka sake ta taba min yarinya akan wannan munafukar abar da kake kira da mata" 

Yaja baya ya tsaya baice komai ba har suka fice. 

Yazo gabana ya durkusa ya rike hannuna, sai na dago kai na kalle shi nace "sannu da zuwa, a kawo maka abinci?" Bai ce komai ba na mike na shiga kitchen na sauke abincin dana riga na kammala, na juye a warmer na fitar da shi waje, har yanzu yana nan a inda na barshi a zaune.

Na rike kugu "ko sai nazo na dauko kane? Wake da shinkafa fa nayi  kuma dan nasan kana so" ya mike yana kallona "manja ko man gyada?" Nace "manja" sai ya miko min hannun sa na kama zuwa dining, na ja masa kujera ya zauna "ki ce yau zan ci abinci da yawa kenan?" Nayi dariya "what do you mean? Ban iya girki ba sai wake da shinkafa?" Yace "ni na isa ince haka? Kawai dai ina son sa ne" nayi kissing tsakiyar kansa "shi yasa nayi maka"

Wannan shine tushen samun matsala tsakani na da in laws dina, daga ranar suka yanke duk wata alaka tsakani na da su, ko da zanje gidan in gaishe da Mama ba zata amsa ba, Muhsina da muhibbat duk sun daina kulani, hatta Mufida ta chanja min ba kamar da ba duk da dai nayi tunanin Mama ce take hana ta kula ni. 

But I also kept my end of the bargain, ban je gidan ba kuma ban kuma yi masa maganar ba sai dai wannan abin da ya faru ya koya min wani darasi da da ban sani ba, yanzu kuma na sani sannan ina kira ga duk matar da mijinta yake da hali irin na mijina. Kar ki yarda ki sanar da iyayensa, I repeat, don't do it. Bance dukkan su ba zasu yarda ba but 80% na iyaye are selfish a kan yayan su. Wasu daga cikin su ma sunsan halin da yayan nasu suke ciki amma in kika fada sai kiyi bakin jini. 

Yes, it is a good idea idan suka sani din, but let them find out da kansu.

Ga masu son siya zasu iya turo kudin su #300 zuwa wannan account din

0779484494
Nafisa Tafida Usman
Access Bank

Sai su turo evidence of payment zuwa wannan number din ta hanyar WhatsApp
08067081020

Wadanda basu da account kuma zasu turo MTN recharge card na 300 zuwa wannan number din 08067081020

Please banda kira, WhatsApp only


*Wannan littafin na siyarwa ne bisa amana, idan baki siya ba kar ki karanta, idan kuma kin siya kar ki yi sharing, idan kika yi kinci amana kuma ke da Allah*

*The Visitors*

Yasmin ta fara zuwa makaranta, and I got a little bit busy tunda ni nake dukkan hidimar kaita morning and evening schools dinta da kuma dauko ta. Sai naji wannan dan abin da nake yi ya rage min damuwa da yawan tunani, a lokacin sai na fara tunanin ya kamata in fara aiki tunda dama cikin Asad ne ya hana ni kama aikin kuma ga Asad har yana neman yin shekara daya. Amma bukukuwan da suke gaban mu a lokacin sai suka saka na dakata da maganar aikin tukunna. 

Bikin Muhsina aka fara yi. A lokacin bikin ne na kuma tabbatar wa kaina da cewa akwai matsala sosai tsakani na da in-laws dina, basu sakani a cikin komai na bikin ba kamar yadda suka saka ni a lokacin bikin Muhibbat. Sai card kawai Mufida ta turo min ta WhatsApp. 

Farko cewa nayi ma ba zan je ba "Doctor bana jin zan je bikin nan, bana son mu samu problem a cikin mutane" ya girgiza kai "nooo that will never happen. Mama ce fa, her barks is always more than her bit. Ranar nan fada ne kawai tayi amma bana jin ma abin yana ranta har yanzu" 

Na ji shi dai kawai amma ban yarda ba, "dan Allah Jidda ki je, in baki je ba shine mutane zasu iya samun abin fada" 

Sai kuma yaya Mubaraka ta kuma kara min kwarin guiwar zuwa din, ta zo har gida ta dauke ni a motar ta muka tafi tare, and she got me involved a dukkan al'amuran da ake yi, sai dai ko amsa gaisuwa ban samu matsayi ba daga gurin Mama, amaryar ma kuwa dama ko inda take ban dosa ba. Nima kuwa wannan karon ban gayyaci kowa daga gidan mu ba ba kamar lokacin bikin Muhibbat ba da har da surukan gidan mu sai dana gayyata, wannan karon ko Farhan ban gayyata ba sai da ga baya da taji anyi bikin tayi ta min mita ni kuma sai nayi dariya kawai.

Bayan an gama bikin Muhsina sai mu kuma muka fara bikin yaya Tahir, wannan karon abin nawa maganin a kwabe ni dan haka na zage na sha hidimar bikina sosai. 

Ranar da za'a fara bikin auncle Muhammad yazo tare da matarsa da yayansu uku, cousins dina da ban taba gani ba sai a hoto. Ahmad, Layla da Abdoul. Murnar da muka yi ranar babu irinta, a take na kira Umar na sanar masa da labarin zuwan su kuma na roke shi alfarmar idan ya barni zan kwana a gida tare da yan uwana yadda zamu ji dadin raba dare muna hira. Yayi ta min dariyar yadda nake ta murna sannan yace min babu komai zan iya kwana din, har da tambaya ta in da akwai abinda nake bukatar ya kawo mana ni da yara nace ya bar shi kawai babu komai, tunda ya barni shikenan dama haka kadai nake so. 

Sai dai....

Muna tsakiya da hirar mu muna ta raha, ina ji na tamkar bani da wani problem a duniya sai Abba ya leko daga saman sa "Aysha! Kamar muryar Jidda nake ji a gidan nan?"

Naji gabana ya fadi, duk muka yi shiru, ya sake magana "Jidda ke nake yiwa magana fa, ko kin zama kurma ne ban sani ba?" Na taso na fito tsakar gida ina kallon samansa inda yake tsaye akan baranda. 

"Me kike yi har yanzu baki tafi gidan mijinki ba?" Naji alamar kamar zanyi kuka, "Abba dama.....na tambayeshi kuma ya barni......" "Saboda baki da hankali? Shi kuma ya biye miki? Ina kika taba ganin mace ta bar gidan mijinta ta taho gidan su ta kwana bayan ba a wani garin take daban ba, kawai saboda ana biki a gidan su. Na dauka da nayi miki aure zaki yi hankali ashe har yanzu da sauran ki. To ki hada kayanki maza ki zo ki koma gidan mijin ki yanzu yanzun nan"  

Naji hawayen ya karaso "Abba dare ......." Kafin in kai karshe naji yana waya "kazo yanzu ku tafi, in kana barinta kwana wata ranar ma babu bikin da akeyi zata ce zata zo ta kwana kuma ba zaka iya hanata ba tunda ka riga ka sabar mata, na fahimci da Umar yake waya sai kawai na juya na koma daki na dauko mayafi na da jaka ta, raina yayi bala'in baci na ma kasa yiwa duk masu tambayata bayanin abinda ya faru sai wadanda suka san halin Abba ne kawai suka fahimta, haka ina ji ina gani Umar yazo na bishi muka tafi gida na bar yan'uwa na da nake ta doki da murnar gani.

Farko Umar da yazo ya dauke ni dariya yake min yana tsokana ta, sai daya  lura da gaske raina a bace yake sannan kuma ya koma rarrashina tare da kokarin faranta min "kinga, yanzu tunda Baba yace ba zaki kwana ba dole muyi masa biyayya, amma gobe in Allah ya kaimu sai ki dawo da wuri ku wuni tare in dare yayi sai ki dauko su duk ki taho dasu gida su kwana a gurinki, ku raba dare kuna hira kamar yadda kike so, kin yarda?" Na gyada kai ina dan sakin fuska ta, yace "to kiyi murmushi in gani in dai kinji dadi, nayi masa murmushi tare da cewa "thanks" ya yi murmushi "anything da zai saki farin ciki shi zanyi. Yanzu dai tunda an koro mu kuma mun bar yara a can sai muje gida muyi sabon amarci".

Na harare shi "sai dai ka biya sabon sadaki" yace "bayan wanda na biya?" nace "kamar gaske, wani sai ya dauka shi ya biya da kansa bayan biya masa akayi, kai fa auren gata akayi maka, I doubt in ka san ma nawa ne kudin sadakin" ya shafa kai "nawa ne ma?" Nayi dariya "na sani da ma, ko adadin su baka sani ba, dan gatan Mama da Baba" 

Yayi dariya "to shikenan, a lissafa min wasu in sake renewing" na juya ido na "sai dai kayi renewing kazar amarci, ina jin ita kadai ce abar da ka siya da kudin ka" yabata rai "bayan kajin nawa ma barin mu kikayi muka kwana tare a falo ke kuma kika rufe kofarki" nayi dariya "au baka manta ba?" Yace "ya za'a yi na manta, baki san irin dogon burin da naci wa daren nan ba amma kika yi min wayo kika rufe kofarki kika barni na kwana a falo tare da ledar kajina" 

Nayi dariya sosai nace "abin tausayi, me yasa wai baka je dakin ka ba ko guest room sai ka zabi kwana a falo" ya langwabe kai "saboda in kika gan ni a falo zaki fi tausaya min, zaki fi gane halin da kika saka ni a ciki" na sake dariya sai ya ja kumatu na "matsoraciya kawai. Ban taba ganin mutum mai tsoro irin ki ba" nima naja kunnensa "ni kuma ban taba ganin mutum mai naci irin ka ba" ya kama kunnen "ouch, kin takurawa kunnena wallahi" 

Na juya ido na "dadin tabawa ne dashi, laushi" yayi dariya "kin yiwa kanki, da har nayi niyyar siya miki kazar amma na fasa yanzu" na tura baki "nima da nayi niyyar baka special treatment amma na fasa yanzu" ya bude ido "ina ne gurin da ake siyar da kaza mafi kusa?" Nayi dariya "sun tashi ai yanzu, dare yayi" ya kalli ogogo, it was after 11 na dare, yace "ai kuwa sai an nemo ta duk inda take a kano ko da kuwa mai rai ce sai in fige miki da kaina" muka yi dariya tare.

Sai da ya nemo kazar kuwa, ni kuma na bashi special treatment din dana ce zan bayar.

Bikin sai ya zamanto kamar ya rabu kashi biyu, duk matasa sai suka koma gidana iyaye kuma suna gidan mu, and we really did enjoyed ourselves, Umar ta sakar min sosai ni kuma na sakarwa baki na. Kowa yazo gidan sai ya yaba, dan cima duk irin wadda kake so zaka samu sai dai in iyayi zakayi, wannan ya kara fito min da tauraruwa ta a cikin dangin mu. 

Na gayyaci yan gidan su Umar bikin, amma Yaya Mubaraka ce kawai tazo tare da Mufida ranar yini suma kuma na tabbatar ba da sanin Mama suka zo ba, ba nuna musu komai ba na karbe su na basu kulawa ta musamman a matsayin su na bakina na musamman. 

Bayan an gama biki mun dauko amaryar mu Yusra mun kaita gidan angonta sannan aka fara watsewa. Sai naji bana son rabuwa da yan uwana musamman su Layla da nasan zan jima kafin in sake ganinta. Ranar da suka hada kayan su zamu kai su gidan Aunty Afia inda daga nan zasu tafi, Nace "amma zaku dawo bikin Aira ko? Kun ga bai fi wata uku ba ya rage" tace "ba zamu dawo ba, sai dai in kuma kunje mana tukunna sai mu dawo tare" naji babu dadi sai nayi shiru, Umar da yake driving yace "are you daring us? To kuwa zamu baki mamaki, zamu zo when you least expect" tayi murna "da gaske?" Yace "da gaske" nima na bude ido nace "da gaske?" Yayi min murmushi "yes Baby, da gaske. I promise" and with that, he did made my day.

Ina baku wadannan labaran ne dan kusan irin kyautatawar Umar a gare ni ku kuma fahimci irin tsatstsauran position din da na samu kaina a ciki.

Bayan bikin Yaya Tahir ne nayi baki guda uku wadanda suka zo min da magana kusan daya amma a mabanbanta lokaci, kuma maganganun nasu masu conflicting juna ta yadda har na rasa menene matsaya ta kuma wacce hanya zan bi? 

Bakuwa ta farko da nayi ita ce Farhan. Ta roki Baba ya barta tazo min weekend, ya barta da kyar bayan ya gama wanke ta tas akan har yanzu bata samu miji ba. Tazo tana ta yi min mita kamar kullum. "Ni ban san inda zan saka raina ba. Ni ban san me mutane suke so su mayar da ni ba, kin san yanzu wai duk wanda na gamu dashi sai kiji yana tambayata wai yaushe zanyi aure? Ko akan baban su nake a zaune ne ni ban sani ba. Ina ruwan mutane da aure na ko da rashin aure na ne wai?" 

Sama sama nake jin ta dan hankali na yana wani gurin daban, nima tawa matsalar nake lissafawa, kwana biyu dai Umar shiru, shin ya daina ne ko kuma ban kama shi bane ba?

Ta taba ni, "wai tunanin me kike yi ne Jiddo?" Na girgiza kaina ina so in tattaro hankali na guri daya "babu komai" na fada tare da gyaran murya. Ta girgiza kai "bayan getting away from surutun mutane for two days, na zo gidan nan ne musamman saboda in tambaye ki, are you okay?" 

Na kirkiri dariyar da ta tsaya a muryata "kin ji ki Farhan da wata magana. Ciwo kika ga ina yi ballantana ki saka ni a gaba da tambaya? Ni lafiya ta kalau" 

Ta girgiza kai "you are not okay Jidda, ko wanda bai sanki ba yasan hakan ballantana ni. Akwai abinda yake damun ki tabbas tun da dadewa, na baki chance ki gaya min da kanki amma kin ki, kuma na tabbatar baki gayawa Umma ba, hakan yana nufin baki gaya wa kowa ba kenan ke kadai kike rike abinki a zuciyar ki. Kin dai san bature yace "a problem shared is a problem solved" kuma nasan ko banyi miki solving dinsa ba zaki ji dadi idan kika gaya min kuma maybe in muka hada kan mu ni da ke zamu iya solving dinsa" 

Na sake girgiza kai, but this time not as convincing as the first, "babu komai na gaya miki Farhan, in akwai wani abu ai zan gaya miki ko?" Tace "anya kuwa kina kallon mudubi Jidda? Kin ga yadda kike bushewa kullum kuwa? To ko sanda kike boarding school baki yi irin wannan ramar ba wallahi. Kuma ba abinci kika rasa ba, dan haka definitely wani abun ne yake damun zuciyarki, da ina tsammani ne ban tabbatar ba, yanzu kuwa na tabbatar" sai ta dauko robar magani ni ta miko min, nayi sauri na karba ina kallon ta tace "na samu wannan a dakin ki, nayi browsing kuma naga maganin masu hawan jini ne, hawan jini ne da ke Jidda?" 

Sai na sunkuyar da kaina ina jin hawaye yana taho min, na tsani wannan saurin kukan nawa amma halitta ta ce haka. Sai ta dawo kusa dani ta zauna tare da dafa ni, cikin karyewar murya ta sake cewa "Jidda ki gaya min, Me yake damunki? Miji ne ko dangin miji? Ko kuma aure Umar din yake nema?"

Nace "duk tambayoyin da kika yi min zan iya amsa miki da eh, kuma zan iya amsa miki da a'a, dan ban san ma matsayina ba Farhan, Farhan ni kaina ban san me nake ciki ba kuma ban san me zanyi ba" na fara kuka sosai, ta  jawo ni jikinta na dora kaina a kafadarta na fara kuka na, sai da nayi na gama sannan na bata labarin, na bata labarin komai ba wai dan ina saka ran zata samar min mafita ba sai dan kawai nasan kaf gidan mu bayan Umma da Abba bani da kamar ta, ko wadanda muka fito ciki daya bana ji dasu kamar yadda nake ji da ita.

She was shocked. Shocked beyond words. Sai kuma ta taya ni kukan da nake yi muka yi tayi tare. "Jidda yanzu wannan maganar kike rikewa a cikin ki? Jidda yanzu mijin irin Umar kike zaune da shi?" Na bude hannu na "Farhan ya zanyi? Nayi iyakacin kokari na Farhan Allah ma ya sani ina iyakacin kokari na. Ban san menene kuma zanyi ba, ban san menene zanyi ba Farhan" 

Cikin fada tace "ki bar masa gidan sa. Gani yake yi kamar ba zaki iya rabuwa da shi ba shi yasa yake cigaba da abinda yake yi, gani yake kina sauraron sa shi yasa yake cigaba da yi miki karya, gani yake yana cin bulus shi yasa yake yi yake karawa. So yake ya cigaba da samun ki a gida sannan ya fita waje ya samu wasu, he wants to eat his cake and still have it. He is sooo selfish. Ki fita ki bar masa gidan sa ai ba anan ne kadai zaki cigaba da rayuwa ba, idan kin bar gidan sa ba mutuwa zaki yi ba. Idan kin zauna ne ma zaki mutu dan na tabbatar in dai baki bar gidan nan ba wannan mutumin sai ya kashe ki an fitar da gawarki" 

Nace "Farhan ina zan je in na fita? Ina zanje Farhan? Kin fi kowa sanin halin Abba kin san babu yadda zanyi in je gidan mu da sunan yaji, Abba kora ta zaiyi, ko kuma ma yayi min mugun baki, ba zai tsaya ya saurare ni ba, Umma ba zata iya yi min komai ba sai dai ta dora damuwa ita ma a ranta har ta samu hawan jinin da za'a bata gado a kusa da nawa. Bayan gidan mu kuma ina zanje?" 

Tace "try. At least try. Ki gwada zuwa gidan ki gwada yi wa Abba bayani watakila ya fahimta, with Abba you can't really tell, sai kin gwada tukunna" na goge hawaye na nace "abinda zanyi kenan Farhan. Na riga nayi wa kaina alkawarin the next time da zan kama Umar da irin wannan laifin to zanje gidan, zuwa gidan mu shine next step dina kuma zanyi. Bana fatan zuwan ranar saboda bana fatan sake kama Umar da laifi mai kama da wannan, amma in ya sake, in na saka kamashi tabbas zan je gida Farhan. Ban san me zan tarar a gidan ba amma nasan zanje insha Allah"

Ta gyada kai tana share nata hawayen "yanzu Jidda in dai har Umar duk da son da yake miki da kuma son da kike masa, duk da kyan da Allah ya baki, duk da yadda kike kokarin kula dashi shima yake kula da ke, duk da yayan da kika haifa masa, in dai har zai iya yi miki haka then who is safe kuma a wannan zamani?" 

Nace "ba haka bane ba Farhan, abin ba'a soyayya bane ba ko kyau ko wani abu, abin a hali yake, sai ki ga kuma wadda mijin baya sonta kuma baya bata kulawa kuma bata da wani kyau amma mijinta baya neman mata. Haline kuma kaddara ce, ba gazawa bace ba daga matar"

Ina ma ace matan waje na banza zasu fahimci cewa wannan namijin da yake zuwa gurin su suna alfasha, watakila yana da matar da ta fi su komai, kuma tana iyakacin kokarin ta ba wai ta gaza bane ba, kuma yana sonta fiye da tunanin su, maybe da sun daina daukan kansu da wani muhimmanci

Farhan bata yi kwana biyun da tayi min alkawari ba sai ta hada kayanta tace tafiya zata yi "bayan abinda na sani, bana jin zan iya budewa Umar baki inyi masa dariya in yazo gidan nan, zan iya ambaton sunan Mama in zaga, gwara in tafi tun kafin in kunno miki wuta a gidan ki" ta cigaba da hada kayan ta tana mita. "Ni dama tun asalin Umar din nan ba son shi nake yi ba, ni dama tun farko bai yi min ba, he is just too much, tun farkon gani na da shi yayi min kama da playboy, ashe ya wuce duk inda nayi tunani" ta juyo tana kallona "ita kuma wannan mokadaddiyar Maryam din sai na karya wannan karkatacciyar kafar tata duk ranar dana kuma ganin ta a kusa da ke"

Ni dai ban ce mata komai ba har ta gama hada kayanta sai na kira Umar na tambayeshi zanje in kaita gida, yayi ta tambayar dalilin da yasa ta fasa kwana sai kawai nace masa Abba ne ya fasa barin ta, da yake yasan halin Abba sai kawai ya bar maganar.

Bakuwa ta biyu da nayi kwana biyu bayan zuwan Farhan ita ce Surayya, matar Bashir. Rabon ta da tazo gidana tun sanda nayi wa Bashir iyaka da gidan mu kuma nasan shine yake hanata zuwa, ni ma kuma tun daga lokacin dama ban kuma zuwa gidan su ba sai dai mukan yi waya mu gaisa ko kuma mu gaisa ta WhatsApp. 

Ranar sai gata tirtsi tirtsi da ciki. Na tarye ta da fara'a da komai muka gaisa tace wai tazo sada zumuncin da na tsinke a tsakanin mu. "Ko menene dalili?" Nayi dariya "kinji ki da wata magana, kawai dai yanzu ne bana samun lokacin fita unguwa wallahi gabakidaya. Kafin mutum ya tashi ma ya gama aikin gida ga yara, nan da nan sai kaga lokaci har ya tafi. Unguwa yanzu ai sai ku amare" na fada da sigar tsokana sai naga bata wani yi dariya ba ta tabe baki "wa yaga amare, ke ma dai da tsokana kike wallahi" nace "as long as baki haihu ba, amarya ce ke. Ni kuwa fa? Na gama zama cus" 

Sai tayi shiru kawai. Muna tare Umar ya fito daga daki, da yake ranar bai fita ba tun safe yana daki shi da Asad, suka gaisa sama sama, yana acting kamar ma bai gane ta ba sai ya dauki Asad yace zasu je unguwa, na raka shi bakin kofa yace "cook something delicious kafin mu dawo, in akwai abinda kuke bukata sai ki kira ni ki gaya min in taho dashi, zan biya in dauko Yasmin daga school ba sai kin fita ba. Ki huta sosai kiyi bacci. I love you, bye" sai yayi kissing cheek dina daya. 

Naji kunya saboda bakuwar da take gurin kuma nasan in dai tana kallon mu ta gani, sai nayi kissing Asad ni kuma sannan nace "a dawo lfy" suka fita ni kuma na dawo gurin bakuwa ta na zauna sai tace "Jidda kinji dadin ki ke kam" nayi murmushi "dadin me naji?" Ta sunkuyar da kanta yana yin ta yana nuna zuciyarta babu dadi "ni har mamaki nake yi in naga maza suna yiwa matansu magana irin haka. Sai inyi ta sha'awa ince ko yaushe ni ma turn dina zai zo? Ko yaushe Bashir zai kalle ni irin yadda naga Umar yana kallon ki?" 

Na girgiza mata kai nace "wannan fa duk ba shine zaman lafiya ba Surayya. Halayyar kowa daban. Zaki ga wani mijin vaya sakar wa matarsa fuska irin haka amma hakan ba yana nufin wai baya sonta bane ba ko kuma basa jin dadin zama da juna ba, a'a halayyar sa ce haka" 

Ta dago kai tana kallona kamar mai shirya maganar ta sannan tace "akwai kuma wadanda basa sakin fuskar, basa sakin aljihu, sannan kuma ga mummunar halayya mai cike da cutarwa ga iyalin su" na danyi shiru nima ina jera tawa maganar sannan nace "hakan kuma ba yana nufin su wadanda ake sakarwa fuskar suna cikin jin dadi bane ba. Za'a iya yin mamaki sosai idan aka san halin da suke ciki a sirrance. Watakila akwai abinda yake cin su ta ciki wanda ko da zasu furta ba lallai ne a fahimta ba" ta kama hannuna a natada naji shi da zafi "kin sani kenan Jidda? Kin san halayyar mazajen mu?" Na dago ina kallon ta, sai naji sanyi a raina, at least na samu wadda take fuskantar the same kalubale irin nawa, wadda na tabbatar zata fi kowa fahimta ta. 

Na gyada kai "na sani Surayya, na sani tun ina amarya, tun kafin in haifi Yasmin" ta rufe baki da hannun ta, idonta yana kawo kwalla, "amma kullum kallon ki nake yi kamar hankalin ki a kwance yake, kamar vaki da wata matsala shi yasa ban taba ko da yunkurin gaya miki ba dan kar in tarwatsa farin cikin ki" nace "wani lokacin ba lallai ne abinda idon mu yake gane mana ya kasance shine gaskiya ba. Kowa da akwai battle din da yake fighting a rayuwarsa, ni na saka a raina wannan shine nawa kaddarar" 

Ta girgiza kai "amma taki kaddarar da sauki Jidda, taki rayuwar da sauki sosai dan zan iya cewa ke a aljanna kike idan nayi comparing da kaina. Bansan yadda yanayin muamalar auratayyar ku take ba amma na tabbatar Umar yana baki kulawa kuma yana baki lokacin sa, ni kuwa fa? Jidda ko kallo ban ishi Bashir ba. Bashir ya kanyi sati biyu zuwa uku ba tare da ya bukace ni ba. Tsakani na dashi shine ya ajiye min kayan abinci ni kuma in zauna a gida in kuma amsa sunan matarsa" 

"Jidda ban san ya kuke da Umar ba amma nasan yana gudun bacin ranki, yana kokarin boye miki halayyar sa, amma Bashir a fili yake abinsa babu ruwan sa da in gani ko kar in gani, babu ruwan sa da me zanyi in na gani, in ma zuciya zan hadiya in mutu shi babu ruwansa shi dai rayuwarsa kawai yake yi tamkar wanda bai yarda cewa akwai mutuwa kuma akwai hisabi ba"

"Babu irin chats dinsa da bana gani tare da mata, su tura masa hotunan tsiraicin su ya tura musu nasa, wayarsa da laptop dinsa a cike suke tap da pornography, kuma babu ruwansa da wai zan dauka in gani babu abinda ya dame shi. In na bishi daki ma na nuna ina bukatar sa zai iya tashi ya fito falo yayi kwanciyar sa yana sexting mata har yayi releasing kuma ya ajiye min wandon sa in wanke"

Na toshe kunne na ina taya ta kukan da take yi "ya isa Surayya ya isa, wannan wanne irin tashin hankali ne muke ciki? Ya zamu yi da rayuwar mu ne wai?" Tace "na gaya wa iyaye na, har shaida na dauka daga wayarsa na nuna musu cewa ga abinda yake yi amma sai suka ce me yasa na taba wayarsa? Ina ruwa na da abinda yake yi a wayarsa ai ni na jawo wa kaina bakin ciki tunda na duba masa waya. Wai ai kazantar da baka gani ba tsafta ce. Suka kuma kara da cewa zan bata zumunci, auren da aka yi dan a karfafa zumunci ni kuma zan bata shi. Sun dai ce sun kira shi sunyi masa fada amma ni banga chanjin komai ba, sai ma masifa da yayi min wai zan hada shi da mutane zan zubar masa da mutuncinsa. Daga nan kuma ya cigaba da kara daure min fuska. Yanzu nace gurin iyayensa zanje kuma in gwada can in gani"

Nayi saurin girgiza mata kai "don't try that. Ni ta can na fara kuma hanyar bata bille da ni ba sai ma kuma afkawa cikin matsala da nayi" tace "to ya zamuyi kenan? Wacce hanya zamu bi? Wacce ce mai bullewar? And the society and our families expects us to be good and obedient wives to such husbands. Abinda ake so muyi shine muyi ta hakuri, muyi musu ladabi da biyayya, sannan muyi ta addu'a. Mu daina bincike akan su ballantana muga kazantar da bamu san da ita ba, sannan kuma in mun sani ma kar mu nuna musu bacin ran mu mu danne zuciyar mu, wata rana zasu daina. What a selfish society! Amma kuma a tsakanin iyayen mu ko nasu ko kuma a cikin society din da wahala a samu wanda zai zaunar dasu ya nuna musu cewa abinda suke yi ba dai dai bane ba sannan kuma ya gaya musu su zama good husbands to us"

What a selfish life!

Mun jima muna wannan hirar da ita, a cikin hirar ne take sanar min da cewa farkon samda ta fara gane halayyar mijinta sai ya nuna mata laifin Umar ne, yace Umar ne ya koya masa kuma shi yake gada shi da mata tun a jami'a. Sai ni kuma nace mata "ba zan ce Umar ne yake koyawa Bashir ba, kamar yadda ba zan ce Bashir ne ya koya wa Umar ba, abinda kawai nasani shine kowa a cikin su halinsa ne sai kuma suka hadu suke abota. Ni a bangare na abinda nayi shine nace wa Umar ya rabu da Bashir, though ban tabbatar ya rabu da shi ko bai rabu da shi ba amma ni da shi bamu kuma yin hirar Bashir ba har yau. Ke ma a naki bangaren kiyi mana kokarin ganin kin matsawa Bashir ya rabu da Umar" 

Ta rike baki "rufa min asiri, ni na isa ince da Bashir ga abokin da zai kula ga wanda ba zai kula ba? Kamar yadda na gaya miki, ba kowanne miji ne irin naki ba dan haka you should cherish what you have".

Tana gidan har su Umar suka dawo tare da yara gabakidaya, sai kuma tace zata tafi ni kuma naji tausayin ta ga tsohon ciki kuma nasan wannan mijin nata ba zuwa zaiyi ya dauke ta ba, sai na roki Umar ya barni na kai ta  har gida a mota ta. A motar ma sai da tayi comment "ki duba kiga motar ki Jidda, amma ni in samu arzikin da zai dauke ni a tasa motar ma abu ya gagara" 

A hanya ina dawowa sai na fara lissafa rayuwar Surayya da tawa, sai na fara tunanin tabbas kamar yadda ta fada a gurinta ni kamar a aljanna nake, in ana jin irin nata complain din bama za'a saurari nawa ba. Kuma at least ni na zaba wa kaina Umar, ita kuwa zaba mata Bashir aka yi, maybe ma da akwai wanda take so aka hana shi aka bawa dan uwa dan a karfafa zumunci.

I felt blessed for some days bayan zuwanta, sai kuma bakuwa ta uku ta zo min ta kwance min dukkan lissafi na.

Bakuwar itace Aira. Ta shigo min gida a firgice kamar wadda aka koro ta. Na tashi da sauri na rike ta ina tambayarta abinda ya faru "Aira wani ne ya mutu? Wani abin ne ya faru?" Sai ta rungume ni ta saka kuka. Nima na rungume ta ina jin kamar zanyi kukan duk da cewa ban san abinda take wa kukan ba. 

Sai data gama ta dago sannan na zaunar da ita akan kujera na bata ruwa ta sha na kuma tambayar ta "me ya faru Aira? Ke da waye? Waya sauke ki a mota?" Ta goge hawayen ta tace "Musaddiq ne" (wanda aka saka ranar auren su) nace "fada kuka yi da Musaddiq din?" Ta girgiza kai "na raka shi kasuwa ne, muna hada kayan lefe, shine......shine.....shine..... " Ta cigaba da kukan ta, gaba na ya fadi, kar dai wani abin banza yayi mata a hanya, na shiga uku. 

Nace "ki gaya min Aira mai Musaddiq din yayi miki?" Ta dakata da kukan ta "babu abinda yayi min Jidda, mun shiga Well Care ne muna siyayya sai kawai na ga yana dariya, sai ya nuna min wasu wai ga wani gara nan wata kilaki tana wanke shi, Jidda kin sa wa na gani?" 

Ban amsa mata ba saboda yawun bakina da ya tsaya chak. "Jidda Daddy na na gani tare da wata da kallon farko na tabbatar wa kaina da cewa karuwa ce. Ta sha attachment da muguwar shiga, tana kuma makale da jikinsa suna ta raha da dariya" ta karasa tana cigaba da kukan ta

Naji kaina yayi wata irin sarawa. "Innalillahi wa inna ilaihir rajiun. Aira kin tabbatar da abinda kike fada? Daddyn ki fa kika ce?" Tace "Jidda Daddy na ne wallahi. Musaddiq bai san fuskarsa ba tunda ba gurinsa suka je neman aure na ba gurin auncle din mu suka je" 

Ta dauko wayarta tana budewa tace "na daki idon Musaddiq na dauki hoton su. Wallahi sai na nuna wa mommy ta ga abinda yake yi. Yanzu ni yaya zanyi da raina, yaya zan kalli Musaddiq idan ya fahimci tsohon da ya gani da karuwa shine mahaifina? Jidda na shiga uku. Jidda fasa auren nan zanyi gabakidaya dan na tabbatar wata rana sai ya goranta min. Kuma wallahi ina sonsa" ta karasa tana sake fashewa da kuka. 

Na karbi wayar daga hannun ta, wayar da kuka ya hana ta karasa budewa ballantana ta miko min, na bude sannan na shiga gallery na nemo pictures din da tayi yanzu. Daddyn na dafa ganewa dan fuskarsa ta fito fes yana ta washe baki, sai kuma na gane matar da take makale a jikinsa, Zuwaira.

Bazan taba mantawa da fuskar ta ba kamar yadda bazan taba mantawa da murmushin da yake kan fuskarta ba, irin wanda take yi a cikin hotunan su data aiko min ita da Umar a Lagos. "Innalillahi wa inna ilaihir rajiun" na sake ambata tare da ajjiye wayar. 

"Kin gan su ko?" Aira ta fada "wallahi sai na nuna wa mommy" sai na mike batare da na ce mata komai ba na shiga daki na zauna tare da rufe fuskata da hannu na. Na tuno maganganun Aunty Afia. 

"Nima na taba shiga irin matsalar da kike ciki a yanzu Jidda, amma da nayi hakuri na kuma dage da addu'a yanzu ba gashi komai ya wuce ba?"

Sai kuma na tuno da maganar daddyn Aira "ki bani sunan yarinyar, ni zanyi bincike akanta daga dabi'un ta zan gane gaskiyar lamarin, sai mu san yadda za'a shawo kan maganar"

Binciken da har yanzu ba'a kammala ba. 

Ashe ba bincike yake yi ba, ashe kansa ya samarwa sabuwar kamu......

Ashe bai daina ba kamar yadda Aunty Afia tayi tunani, ashe ya kara kwarewa ne kawai wajen boye mata halin sa.......

Ashe role model din da nake bi har yanzu a cikin ruwa take tsundum bata sami fita ba ballantana ni da nabi hanyar ta in samu fita ni ma. 

Na tashi na koma falo na tsaya ina kallon Aira, ina tunanin abinda zan ce mata, sai kawai naga a idona ta koma min Yasmin, Yasmin ta girma ta kama babanta in the act, me zance mata? Kiyi hakuri nima hakurin nake tayi? Sai naji a raina tabbas wannan ranar tana nan zuwa indai abubuwa basu chanja ba.


Forgive the typos please..........
Ga masu son siya zasu iya turo kudin su #300 zuwa wannan account din

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Nafisa Tafida Usman
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*Wannan littafin na siyarwa ne bisa amana, idan baki siya ba kar ki karanta, idan kuma kin siya kar ki sharing, in kika yi kin ci amana kuma ke da Allah*

*Mammy*

Na koma na zauna a kusa da ita sannan na dago kanta ina share mata hawayen ta. "Kiyi hakuri Aira. Kiyi hakuri ki daina kuka dan Allah" tace "ni yanzu yaya zanyi? Yanzu Jidda ashe wai Daddy na ne yake da wannan mummunar dabi'ar?" Na girgiza mata kai "kar ki ce haka Aira, Daddy ne fa, maybe ma ba abinda kike tunani bane a tsakanin su da wannan matar maybe abokiyar aikinsa ce ko something like that" ta girgiza kai da sauri, "baki gansu bane ba Jidda, baki ga matar nan ba kina ganin ta zaki san ko ita wacece daga yanayin shigarta, kina ganin yadda suke yi zaki fahimci abinda yake tsakanin su" sai ta sake wani sabon kukan. "wai babana. Jidda babana ne. Mutumin da duk mazan duniya babu wanda ya kai shi kima da mutunci a idona, mutumin da har addu'a nake Allah ya bani miji kamarsa saboda yadda yake kula da mu da mahaifiyar mu amma ashe da akwai abinda yake aikatawa a boye bamu sani ba. Shin anya ma kuwa akwai wadda tafi kowa rashin dacen uba a duniya iri na?" Na rufe mata baki da sauri "menene haka kike cewa Aira?" Sai naji hawaye ya taho idona, na rasa dalilin da yasa nake kwatanta Aira da Yasmin. Will Yasmin one day find out about her Daddy ita ma? Will she say tafi kowa rashin dacen uba itama? Will she ask me me yasa na zaba mata shi a matsayin uba? Wacce amsa zan bata then?

Ta sake tambaya ta. "Jidda me zanyi? Ta ina zan bullowa wannan lamarin? Yanzu dole sai na rabu da musaddiq dan ba zan iya nuna masa tsohon da ya gani tare da karuwa a supermarket kuma yayi wa dariya ya kira shi da gara in gaya masa cewa shine babana mahaifina da kullum nake nuna ina takama da shi ina takama da kasancewar sa mahaifina ba. Ya zanyi Jidda?" 

Na sunkuyar da kaina ina tunani, sai kuma na dago ina kallon ta nace "nima bansan abinda zaki yi ba Aira. Bansan ta yadda za'a warware wannan lamarin ba. Amma ina ganin shi wanda ya kulla komai shine ya kamata ya san yadda zaiyi ya warware komai" Tace "ban gane ba" nace "Daddy. Shi zaki kaiwa pictures din nan ki luma gaya masa abinda ya faru. Ki kuma nuna masa yadda kike ji a zuciyar ki a game da shi. Tsuntsun da ya ja ruwa hausawa suka ce shi ruwa kan doka. In kin gayawa Aunty kin nuna mata pictures zata tashi hankalin ta taji kunya bayan ba ita ta aikata abin kunya ba, zata shiga damuwa da kunci bayan ba ita ce mai laifi ba. Za ta fara neman maganin matsalar da ba tata bace ba. Problem dinsa ne dan haka let him face it by himself. Kar ki matsawa Aunty tayi miki bayani akan laifin da ita ba ita tayi ba, rather ki matsa masa shi da yayi laifin shi yayi miki bayani kuma yasan solution din dazai samar miki a matsalar da shine ya saka ki a ciki"

Ta yi shiru tana kallona, daga alama maganganu na sun shige ta sai kuma ta dauki wayar ta da sauri ta mike. "Nagode Jidda, zanje in same shi kuma sai yayi min bayanin dalilin da yasa ya zabi ya kunyata mu mu ƴaƴan sa a idon duniya, sai ya gaya min dalilin da yasa zai zama sanadiyyar da dole zan hakura da auren Musaddiq" 

Tayi hanyar waje da sauri ranta a tsananin bace, na sauke ajjiyar zuciya tare da goge hawayen fuskata a raina nace "good. Yau zaiyi facing abinda maybe bai taba tsammani ba. Maybe kunyar wannan abin ya zama sanadiyyar shiryuwar sa".

Ranar har dare duk zuciyata babu dadi, har Umar yazo na gama sallamar sa na kuma gama da yara kawai sai na tafi daki na bar su tare a palo, a haka har suka yi bacci sannan ya shigo yace inje in kwantar dasu shi kuma ya shiga wanka. Ina kwantar dasu a dakina na dawo na kwanta a dakinsa na juya bayana na rufe ido na, a raina ina lissafin rayuwar da Aunty Afia tayi a baya da kuma irin alkawarirrikan da na tabbatar daddyn Aira yayi mata na cewa ya daina, maybe tun bata yarda ya daina din ba har tazo ta yarda kuma ta cigaba da yarda har yau. I can't even imagine how broken she will ve in wannan labarin ya same ta. I can't imagine how broken I will be idan ni ce a matsayin ta. 

Har dare ranar bana cikin walwala, har Umar ya dawo na sallame shi na kuma gama da yara suma sai na tafi daki nayi kwanciya ta na barsu a falo, sai da suka yi bacci sannan Umar ya zo ya ce inje in kwantar dasu, na kwantar dasu a dakina nayi musu addu'a sannan na dawo dakin Umar na tarar yana wanka sai na kwanta na juya bayana na rufe idona, hoping in ya fito zaiyi kwanciyar sa dan ni kam bana cikin mood kuma bana jin duk dadin bakinsa akwai abinda zai yi ya sakani in the mood.

Ina kwance ya fito, naji ya watsamin ruwan gashin kansa a fuskata. Na bude ido ina kallon sa yace "nasan dama ba bacci kike yi ba. A penny for your thoughts?" Na danyi murmushi kawai na mayar da ido na na rufe. Naji ya hawo kan gadon na sake bude ido na ganshi kwance ruf da ciki yayi tagumi da hannu daya ya zuba min ido. Na lura ko ruwan jikinss bai goge ba nace "hey, zaka jika min gado da ruwa fa?" Yace "me yake damunki?" Na dan bata rai, there is no way da zan bashi labarin cewa tsohuwar karuwar sa yanzu ta koma ƙaruwar mijin kanwar mamana. Nace "babu komai fa na gaya maka" ya kwaikwayi muryata "babu komai fa na gaya maka. Tun ina falo nasan in na tambayeki cewa zakiyi babu komai bayan ni nasan akwai komai. But ko ba zaki gaya min gabakidaya ba ki gaya min in yana da dangantaka da zuwan matar Bashir gidan nan" 

Na yi shiru ina kallon sa sannan nace "akwai wani abu ne da zai saka ni damuwa idan Surayya ta zo gidan nan?" Ya daga hannu "nooo. Kawai dai bana jin dadin yadda kike yi ne tun ranar da ta zo din, shi yasa nake so in confirming babu abinda tace miki. Ni yaushe rabona ma da in ganta, ko mijinta?" 

Na dauke kai amma bance komai ba. Sai ya kara matsowa ya dora kansa akan kirjina yace "you know I was thinking. Kudin da nace miki na samu last month, shine nake tunanin yi mana gyaran gidan nan da shi. What do you think?" na bude idona, tun last year Baba ya matsa masa ya zuba kudi a cikin business din sa da yake yi na fata, yace masa aiki kadai ba zai rike shi ba sai ya hada da business. Shine last month aka turo masa wasu kudi a matsayin ribar daya samu na shekara daya. 

Nace "gyaran gida kuma? Haka ake business din dama? Daga samun riba sai a kashe?" Yayi dariya "to dan me ake business din dama? Ba dan a samu riba a kashe ba?" Na ja kunnen sa "nooo, in aka samu riba sai a kara karfin jari, har sai jari yayi karfi sosai sannan ake fara kashewa" ya tashi zaune tare da jawo ni zaune nima "I just want to do something to make you happy, you don't seem happy" na shafa fuskar sa "ba sai ka kashe min kudi zan zama happy ba, kuma gidan nan babu abinda ya same shi" 

Yace "yes, babu abinda ya same shi amma chanji yana da dadi, ko ya akayi gyaran zaki ji dadi am sure" nace "wai wanne irin gyara za'a yi ne ma?" Ya gyara zama. "Kawai tagogi da kofofi za'a chanja a mayar da su na zamani, sai ayi penti, sai kuma a chanja furnitures da curtains da carpets, if kudin zasu isa sai a chanja TV set suma" 

Na girgiza kai "uhm uhm, ni furnitures dina babu abinda sukayi" yayi dariya "furnitures din ki ko furnitures din mu? They are mine as much as they are yours tunda sanda kina gida ai ba'a yi miki ba sai da aka aura miki ni sannan aka yi mana" nace "whatever. Amma dai babu abinda sukayi ai" na fada ina shafa gado na, yace "babu abinda suka yi amma chanji yana da dadi ai" nace "to su kuma wadannan din ya za'a yi dasu?" Yace "I was thinking mu kai wa Umma su ta chanja itama. Ba wai dan nata sunyi wani abu ba, saboda itama ta chanja taji dadi" 

Na cigaba da kallon sa bance komai ba sai yace "common just say yes mana, why are you being difficult" na juya ido na "ba wai difficulty bane ba, kasan dai yadda muke da Mama yanzu, she is already thinking komai naka a gurina yake karewa, bana so mu......"

Yace "ai ba ke zanyi wa ba. Kaina zan yiwa da matata da yayana dan jin dadin mu. Am sure Mama will understand that" ma sake bude baki zanyi magana sai yace "na gama magana. And I am the boss" na juya ido na "yes oga Sir" yayi dariya tare da jan cheeks dina "that's right. I am the boss. Now, je ki kawo min tea ki dawo sai muyi maganar color da design din da zamu yi" 


Washegari da safe ina gyaran daki waya ta tayi kara, na duba naga yaya Mubaraka sai na dauka da sallama tana fara yunkurin gaishe ta sai tace "albishirinki Jidda" nace "goro" a raina ina tunanin menene albishir din? Mama ta yarda da magana ta ko me? Sai tace "Baba ya biya miki aikin hajji" nayi kara tare da sakin waya na rufe bakina ina jin ƙwaƙwalwa ta ta toshe, Umar ya shigo dakin da sauri, ya dawo daga kai Yasmin school "lafiya?" Ya fada yana kallona, ya kasa tantance karar da nayi ta murna ce ko sabanin haka. 

Wayar da take kusa da kafafuwana ya sunkuya ya dauka ya saka a kunnen sa "hello?" "Wow. Haba? Yaushe?" "Kai Baba ya biya mu, Allah ya biya shi shima. Ita da girls gabakidayan su?" Yayi dariya "zan je in samu Abba, dani ya kamata ayi tafiyar nan gaskiya. Ai ba za'a barsu su tafi babu namiji ba ko?" Ya sake dariya "kinci goron albishir. Har gida zan kawo miki" sai kuma ya kashe 

Nayi tsalle na rungume shi "Baba ya biya min zanje Hajji" yayi dariya "didn't know it will make you this happy da tuni nayi insisting" nace "happy? Ana maganar one of the pillars of islam kana maganar happy, ai abinda nake ji yafi karfin happy" 

Kuma da gaske nake na jima banji dadi irin na ranar nan ba. 

Umar yayi ta lobbying, bayan Baba ya gama ja masa aji tare da yi masa fadan cewa shi har yanzu ya kasa girma ya kafa kansa yadda zai ke yi wa kansa komai da komai sai kuma yaci sa'a shima aka biya masa muka tafi tare, duk da dai already dama shi sun taba zuwa tare da yaya Mubaraka. 

Maganar tafiya ta Hajji ta baza family na kamar gobarar daji, har gida aka yi ta zuwa ana yi min murna tun kafin in tafi, ina kuma lura da yadda yan'uwa na suke yi min kallon sha'awa kamar babu wadda rayuwarta take burge su irina. A lokacin ne mukayi waya da Surayya na bata labari kuma tayi min murna sannan tace "kiyi amfani da wannan damar Jidda, ki roka wa mazajen mu shiriya" na gyada kai kamar tana kallona "insha Allah. Yana daga cikin abu mafi muhimmanci da zanyi addu'a akai. 

Cikin lokaci kankani aka gama komai muka tafi ni da Umar da Muhibbat, Muhsina da Mufida. Da zamu tafi nayi niyyar kai su Yasmin gidan mu sai ga mota Mama ta aiko da ita wai za'a dauke su, ban ce komai ba na hada musu kayansu suka tafi suna ta kuka, kuma ko airport bata je dasu ba ranar da zamu tashi tace zasu yi rigima in suka gan mu. Muka gama aikin hajjin mu successfully muka dawo, duk da dai su Muhsina suna ta sha min kamshi amma ni ibada ta kawai nayi ban damu dasu ba ballantana in saka su a raina. Nayi adduoi sosai, musamman akan Umar, na kuma yiwa kaina addu'a da iyayena da yayana.

Bansan Umar ya bayar da aikin gyaran gidan mu ba sai da muka dawo, nazo na tarar da gida kamar ba namu ba, an gyara shi fes anyi fentin ko'ina an chanja furnitures din dakina da kujerun falo an saka royals, masu colours brown, golden brown, da kuma golden, an saka matching rugs ta curtains. Komai yayi kyau kamar dakin wata sabuwar amarya, amaryar ma yar masu kudi. Dakin baƙi ma an gyara shi an cire gadon ciki an saka twin beds na yara kowa kuma da wardrobe din sa da yar karamar dressser. Dakin yayi kyau sosai dakin yayi matukar yin kyau. Da gudu nake zagaya gidan ina bi daki daki har naje dakin sa, ina budewa na tsaya ina kallon dakin babu abinda aka chanja a ciki dan daga alama ma ko bude shi ba'a yi ba tun da muka tafi. Yazo ya tsaya a bayana yana dariya "don't comment, kar ki ce komai" na juyo "shi nan dakin laifin me yayi da ba'a gyara shi ba?" Ya shafa kansa Yace "kudi ne yayi min short, za'a gyara shi in an samu wasu, for now babu wanda ya san ba'a gyara shi ba daga ni sai ke

Na juya ido na "sai na gaya wa duk wanda yazo" yayi murmushi "ke za'a yiwa dariya ai ace dakin mijinki bai yi kyau ba" na shafa fuskarsa "I don't care, tunda mijina yana da kyau ban damu da kyan dakinsa ba" yana murmushi ya kama hips dina ya daga ni ni kuma na makale a jikinsa "da gaske? You think ina da kyau?" Nayi murmushi nima nace "the most handsome man I have ever seen"...........

Tunda muka dawo kullum sai mun samu baki masu zuwa yi mana barka da zuwa, mu kuma muka bude jaka mukayi ta rabon tsaraba. Kasancewar dawowar mu da kuma gyaran gidan mu ya faru kusan lokaci daya sai ya zamana duk wanda yazo mana sannu da zuwa sai kuma ya ga gyaran da mukayi, kowa kuma ya gani sai yayi santin yadda gidan yayi kyau musamman yan gidan mu. 

Umma da Hajiya da Farhan da Amira ne sukafara zuwa, a lokacin ne suke bani labarin cewa Umar Farhan ya kira lokacin muna Saudiyya yace tazo gidan mu ta hada mana kayan mu za'a zo ayi aiki, ita da Amira ne suka kwashe mana kayan mu bayan an gama kuma suka zo suka jera mana komai suka gyara mana. Sannan kuma ya turo mota aka kwashe furnitures din da aka cire aka kaiwa Umma kamar yadda yace za'a yi. Suka nuna min hotunan yadda aka gyarawa umma dakinta ita ma da kayana, har fenti yaya Tahir ya saka akayi mata kafin a saka kayan, Bedroom din ta da falonta sunyi kyau fes kamar ba su ba. 

Duk hirar da muke yi Hajiya tana jin mu, I was surprised da naji bata ce komai ba sai bin mu da kallo kawai take yi, da nace su zagaya gidan su gani ma na dauka zata ce ba zata gani ba amma sai naga ta tashi sun zagaya tare har ma dayi min murna "Allah ya sanya alkhairi yasa a kashe lafiya" nace "ameen"

Da zasu tafi sai na roki Umma ta rokar min Abba ya bar Amira tazo ta dan kwanar min biyu dan in samu in huta sosai, dan ba karamar gajiya nake ji ba ga kuma baki basa barina in samu isashshen hutu, ga yara. Ta girgiza kai "ba zai bari ba. Nima na san zaki dawo a gajiye shi yasa da zamu taho na tambayeshi zan bar miki ita amma ya hana, yace baya son kwadayi" suka yi dariya gaba daya ni kuma naji babu dadi.

 sai ga Mama Sa'a tazo ita da ƴaƴan ta baki daya, na lura Mammy da jakar kaya a hannun ta. "Dama yau nace zamu zo mu yi miki sannu da zuwa sai kuma Hajiya tace in kawo miki Mammy ta taya ki zama tunda babu abinda take yi a gida, taji kina complain din gajiya kuma Abba ya hana ki Amira, na samu babanta ya barta da kyar, sai take yi miki ayyuka kuma take kula miki da yara kafin ki samu ki huta" 

Naji dadi tunda nasan ina bukatar taimako, duk da dai ba Mammy naso ba nafi son Amira amma hausawa sunce a rashin uwa aka yi uwar daki. Nayi mata godiya sosai kuma na kira Hajiya ita ma nayi mata godiya "nasan yadda kike ji ai, aikin hajji ai akwai gajiyar wa, nima sanda naje da na dawo ai har sai dana yi jinya" sai ta dauko labarin zuwan su hajji ita da Abba tana bani har da dariya, abinda bana jin ni da ita mun taba zama munyi.
[3/10, 1:05 PM] Nafisa Usman Tafida: Naji dadin zuwan Mammy, problem din daa dauka zan samu da ita na rashin kunya da rawar kai duk ban samu ba, kullum zata gyara min gida ta kula da yara ta kuma yi mana girki, mu kuma muka samu damar hutawa ni da Umar sosai, sai dai idan munyi baki ta je ta kira ni in basu kulawa in sun tafi in koma. 

A haka har na wartsake tas na fito na cigaba da harkoki na, Umar kuma ya koma aikin sa, amma ban ce Mammy ta koma gida ba sai na barta ta cigaba da zama tunda naga tana son zaman kuma bana samun problem da ita.

A lokacin ne wani abu ya faru, suddenly without warning Umar ya chanja min gabakidaya ya rikice min. Rana daya ya wuni a office tun safe har magrib ba tare da ya kira ni ba ba kuma tare daya dauki kiran da nake ta jera masa ba. A ranar hankali na ya tashi nayi ta sake saken ko wani abun ne ya faru dashi, na kasa hakuri sai na kira Mufida inji ko yaje gida ko kuma sunji wani labari da banji ba, sai ta gaya min cewa yanzu taji suna waya da Mama. 

Na cigaba da jira, na kuma cigaba da kira amma still bai dauka ba sai bayan magrib ya dawo gida. Ina jin tsayuwar motarsa na tashi da sauri da Asad a hannuna na bude masa kofa, glad that he is okay, yana karaso wa nayi masa murmushi "sannu da zuwa" ya amsa "yauwa sannunki" sao ya wuce ni, ignoring the hug that I was about to give him, na bi shi a baya amma da yake sauri yake yi kafin in shiga corridor har ya shiga dakin sa ya rufe kofa, ina kama handle din naji yayi locking dinta ta cikin, sai na kasa motsawa daga inda nake, mamaki ya cika min zuciyata na kuma fara tuhumar kaina idan nayi masa wani laifi ne ba tare da na sani ba dan ni kam da sanina bana jin nayi masa komai. 

Yasmin wadda ta na dakina sanda ya shigo ta fito tana rarraba ido "mommy Daddy ne yazo? Ina yake?" Nace "yana dakin sa Yasmin, Daddy ya gaji zai kwanta ne" na wuce ta na shiga dakina na ajiye Asad na zauna a bakin gado tare da dafe kaina ina jin tunani na ya na tsayawa a waje daya "me yake faruwa?" 

Asad ya taka ya fita shima yana kiran sunan babansa da gwaranci. "Daddy! Daddy!" Suka hadu shi da Yasmin suna ta kira suna buga masa kofa.

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*Wannan littafin na siyarwa ne bisa amana, idan baki siya ba kar ki karanta, idan kuma kin siya kar ki sharing, in kika yi kin ci amana kuma ke da Allah*

*Mammy*

Na koma na zauna a kusa da ita sannan na dago kanta ina share mata hawayen ta. "Kiyi hakuri Aira. Kiyi hakuri ki daina kuka dan Allah" tace "ni yanzu yaya zanyi? Yanzu Jidda ashe wai Daddy na ne yake da wannan mummunar dabi'ar?" Na girgiza mata kai "kar ki ce haka Aira, Daddy ne fa, maybe ma ba abinda kike tunani bane a tsakanin su da wannan matar maybe abokiyar aikinsa ce ko something like that" ta girgiza kai da sauri, "baki gansu bane ba Jidda, baki ga matar nan ba kina ganin ta zaki san ko ita wacece daga yanayin shigarta, kina ganin yadda suke yi zaki fahimci abinda yake tsakanin su" sai ta sake wani sabon kukan. "wai babana. Jidda babana ne. Mutumin da duk mazan duniya babu wanda ya kai shi kima da mutunci a idona, mutumin da har addu'a nake Allah ya bani miji kamarsa saboda yadda yake kula da mu da mahaifiyar mu amma ashe da akwai abinda yake aikatawa a boye bamu sani ba. Shin anya ma kuwa akwai wadda tafi kowa rashin dacen uba a duniya iri na?" Na rufe mata baki da sauri "menene haka kike cewa Aira?" Sai naji hawaye ya taho idona, na rasa dalilin da yasa nake kwatanta Aira da Yasmin. Will Yasmin one day find out about her Daddy ita ma? Will she say tafi kowa rashin dacen uba itama? Will she ask me me yasa na zaba mata shi a matsayin uba? Wacce amsa zan bata then?

Ta sake tambaya ta. "Jidda me zanyi? Ta ina zan bullowa wannan lamarin? Yanzu dole sai na rabu da musaddiq dan ba zan iya nuna masa tsohon da ya gani tare da karuwa a supermarket kuma yayi wa dariya ya kira shi da gara in gaya masa cewa shine babana mahaifina da kullum nake nuna ina takama da shi ina takama da kasancewar sa mahaifina ba. Ya zanyi Jidda?" 

Na sunkuyar da kaina ina tunani, sai kuma na dago ina kallon ta nace "nima bansan abinda zaki yi ba Aira. Bansan ta yadda za'a warware wannan lamarin ba. Amma ina ganin shi wanda ya kulla komai shine ya kamata ya san yadda zaiyi ya warware komai" Tace "ban gane ba" nace "Daddy. Shi zaki kaiwa pictures din nan ki luma gaya masa abinda ya faru. Ki kuma nuna masa yadda kike ji a zuciyar ki a game da shi. Tsuntsun da ya ja ruwa hausawa suka ce shi ruwa kan doka. In kin gayawa Aunty kin nuna mata pictures zata tashi hankalin ta taji kunya bayan ba ita ta aikata abin kunya ba, zata shiga damuwa da kunci bayan ba ita ce mai laifi ba. Za ta fara neman maganin matsalar da ba tata bace ba. Problem dinsa ne dan haka let him face it by himself. Kar ki matsawa Aunty tayi miki bayani akan laifin da ita ba ita tayi ba, rather ki matsa masa shi da yayi laifin shi yayi miki bayani kuma yasan solution din dazai samar miki a matsalar da shine ya saka ki a ciki"

Ta yi shiru tana kallona, daga alama maganganu na sun shige ta sai kuma ta dauki wayar ta da sauri ta mike. "Nagode Jidda, zanje in same shi kuma sai yayi min bayanin dalilin da yasa ya zabi ya kunyata mu mu ƴaƴan sa a idon duniya, sai ya gaya min dalilin da yasa zai zama sanadiyyar da dole zan hakura da auren Musaddiq" 

Tayi hanyar waje da sauri ranta a tsananin bace, na sauke ajjiyar zuciya tare da goge hawayen fuskata a raina nace "good. Yau zaiyi facing abinda maybe bai taba tsammani ba. Maybe kunyar wannan abin ya zama sanadiyyar shiryuwar sa".

Ranar duk zuciyata babu dadi, har Umar yazo na gama sallamar sa na kuma gama da yara kawai sai na tafi daki na bar su tare a palo, a haka har suka yi bacci sannan ya shigo yace inje in kwantar dasu shi kuma ya shiga wanka. Ina kwantar dasu a dakina na dawo na kwanta a dakinsa na juya bayana na rufe ido na, a raina ina lissafin rayuwar da Aunty Afia tayi a baya da kuma irin alkawarirrikan da na tabbatar daddyn Aira yayi mata na cewa ya daina, maybe tun bata yarda ya daina din ba har tazo ta yarda kuma ta cigaba da yarda har yau. I can't even imagine how broken she will be in wannan labarin ya same ta. I can't imagine how broken I will be idan ni ce a matsayin ta. 

Har dare ranar bana cikin walwala, har Umar ya dawo na sallame shi na kuma gama da yara suma sai na tafi daki nayi kwanciya ta na barsu a falo, sai da suka yi bacci sannan Umar ya zo ya ce inje in kwantar dasu, na kwantar dasu a dakina nayi musu addu'a sannan na dawo dakin Umar na tarar yana wanka sai na kwanta na juya bayana na rufe idona, hoping in ya fito zaiyi kwanciyar sa dan ni kam bana cikin mood kuma bana jin duk dadin bakinsa akwai abinda zai yi ya sakani in the mood.

Ina kwance ya fito, naji ya watsamin ruwan gashin kansa a fuskata. Na bude ido ina kallon sa yace "nasan dama ba bacci kike yi ba. A penny for your thoughts?" Na danyi murmushi kawai na mayar da ido na na rufe. Naji ya hawo kan gadon na sake bude ido na ganshi kwance ruf da ciki yayi tagumi da hannu daya ya zuba min ido. Na lura ko ruwan jikinsa bai goge ba nace "hey, zaka jika min gado da ruwa fa?" Yace "me yake damunki?" Na dan bata rai, there is no way da zan bashi labarin cewa tsohuwar karuwar sa yanzu ta koma karuwar mijin kanwar mamana. Nace "babu komai fa na gaya maka" ya kwaikwayi muryata "babu komai fa na gaya maka. Tun ina falo nasan in na tambayeki cewa zakiyi babu komai bayan ni nasan akwai komai. But ko ba zaki gaya min gabakidaya ba ki gaya min in yana da dangantaka da zuwan matar Bashir gidan nan" 

Na yi shiru ina kallon sa sannan nace "akwai wani abu ne da zai saka ni damuwa idan Surayya ta zo gidan nan?" Ya daga hannu "nooo. Kawai dai bana jin dadin yadda kike yi ne tun ranar da ta zo din, shi yasa nake so in confirming babu abinda tace miki. Ni yaushe rabona ma da in ganta, ko mijinta?" 

Na dauke kai amma bance komai ba. Sai ya kara matsowa ya dora kansa akan kirjina yace "you know, I was thinking. Kudin da nace miki na samu last month, shine nake tunanin yi mana gyaran gidan nan da shi. What do you think?" na bude idona, tun last year Baba ya matsa masa ya zuba kudi a cikin business din sa da yake yi na fata, yace masa aiki kadai ba zai rike shi ba sai ya hada da business. Shine last month aka turo masa wasu kudi a matsayin ribar daya samu na shekara daya. 

Nace "gyaran gida kuma? Haka ake business din dama? Daga samun riba sai a kashe?" Yayi dariya "to dan me ake business din dama? Ba dan a samu riba a kashe ba?" Na ja kunnen sa "nooo, in aka samu riba sai a kara karfin jari, har sai jari yayi karfi sosai sannan ake fara kashewa" ya tashi zaune tare da jawo ni zaune nima "I just want to do something to make you happy, you don't seem happy" na shafa fuskar sa "ba sai ka kashe min kudi zan zama happy ba, kuma gidan nan babu abinda ya same shi" 

Yace "yes, babu abinda ya same shi amma chanji yana da dadi, ko ya akayi gyaran zaki ji dadi am sure" nace "wai wanne irin gyara za'a yi ne ma?" Ya gyara zama. "Kawai tagogi da kofofi za'a chanja a mayar da su na zamani, sai ayi penti, sai kuma a chanja furnitures da curtains da carpets, if kudin zasu isa sai a chanja TV set suma" 

Na girgiza kai "uhm uhm, ni furnitures dina babu abinda sukayi" yayi dariya "furnitures din ki ko furnitures din mu? They are mine as much as they are yours tunda sanda kina gida ai ba'a yi miki ba sai da aka aura miki ni sannan aka yi mana" nace "whatever. Amma dai babu abinda sukayi ai" na fada ina shafa gado na, yace "babu abinda suka yi amma chanji yana da dadi ai" nace "to su kuma wadannan din ya za'a yi dasu?" Yace "I was thinking mu kai wa Umma su ta chanja itama. Ba wai dan nata sunyi wani abu ba, saboda itama ta chanja taji dadi" 

Na cigaba da kallon sa bance komai ba sai yace "common just say yes mana, why are you being difficult" na juya ido na "ba wai difficulty bane ba, kasan dai yadda muke da Mama yanzu, she is already thinking komai naka a gurina yake karewa, bana so mu......"

Yace "ai ba ke zanyi wa ba. Kaina zan yiwa da matata da yayana dan jin dadin mu. Am sure Mama will understand that" na sake bude baki zanyi magana sai yace "na gama magana. And I am the boss" na juya ido na "yes boss Sir" yayi dariya tare da jan cheeks dina "that's right. I am the boss. Now, je ki kawo min tea ki dawo sai muyi maganar color da design din da zamu yi" 

Washegari da safe ina gyaran daki waya ta tayi kara, na duba naga yaya Mubaraka sai na dauka da sallama ta na fara yunkurin gaishe ta sai tace "albishirinki Jidda" nace "goro" a raina ina tunanin menene albishir din? Mama ta yarda da magana ta ko me? Sai tace "Baba ya biya miki aikin hajji" nayi kara tare da sakin waya na rufe bakina ina jin ƙwaƙwalwa ta ta toshe, Umar ya shigo dakin da sauri, ya dawo daga kai Yasmin school "lafiya?" Ya fada yana kallona, ya kasa tantance karar da nayi ta murna ce ko sabanin haka. 

Wayar da take kusa da kafafuwana ya sunkuya ya dauka ya saka a kunnen sa "hello?" "Wow. Haba? Yaushe?" "Kai Baba ya biya mu, Allah ya biya shi shima. Ita da girls gabakidayan su?" Yayi dariya "zan je in samu Baba, dani ya kamata ayi tafiyar nan gaskiya. Ai ba za'a barsu su tafi babu namiji ba ko?" Ya sake dariya "kinci goron albishir. Har gida zan kawo miki" sai kuma ya kashe 

Nayi tsalle na rungume shi "Baba ya biya min zanje Hajji" yayi dariya "didn't know it will make you this happy da tuni nayi insisting" nace "happy? Ana maganar one of the pillars of islam kana maganar happy, ai abinda nake ji yafi karfin happy" 

Kuma da gaske nake na jima banji dadi irin na ranar nan ba. 

Umar yayi ta lobbying, bayan Baba ya gama ja masa aji tare da yi masa fadan cewa shi har yanzu ya kasa girma ya kafa kansa yadda zai ke yi wa kansa komai da komai sai kuma yaci sa'a shima aka biya masa muka tafi tare, duk da dai already dama shi sun taba zuwa tare da yaya Mubaraka. 

Maganar tafiya ta Hajji ta baza family na kamar gobarar daji, har gida aka yi ta zuwa ana yi min murna tun kafin in tafi, ina kuma lura da yadda yan'uwa na suke yi min kallon sha'awa kamar babu wadda rayuwarta take burge su irina. A lokacin ne mukayi waya da Surayya na bata labari kuma tayi min murna sannan tace "kiyi amfani da wannan damar Jidda, ki roka wa mazajen mu shiriya" na gyada kai kamar tana kallona "insha Allah. Yana daga cikin abu mafi muhimmanci da zanyi addu'a akai. 

Cikin lokaci kankani aka gama komai muka tafi ni da Umar da Muhibbat, Muhsina da Mufida. Da zamu tafi nayi niyyar kai su Yasmin gidan mu sai ga mota Mama ta aiko da ita wai za'a dauke su, ban ce komai ba na hada musu kayansu suka tafi suna ta kuka, kuma ko airport bata je dasu ba ranar da zamu tashi tace zasu yi rigima in suka gan mu. Muka gama aikin hajjin mu successfully muka dawo, duk da dai su Muhsina suna ta sha min kamshi amma ni ibada ta kawai nayi ban damu dasu ba ballantana in saka su a raina. Nayi adduoi sosai, musamman akan Umar, na kuma yiwa kaina addu'a da iyayena da yayana.

Muna sauka na samu labarai marasa dadi guda biyu, na farko an fasa auren Aira, babu wanda ya san dalili,  amma ni na sani, ka kallo daya na yiwa Aunty Afia nasan cewa ita ma ta sani and I felt her pain. Labari na biyu shine Surayya tahaihu amma dannbai zo da rai ba.

Bansan Umar ya bayar da aikin gyaran gidan mu ba sai da muka dawo, nazo na tarar da gida kamar ba namu ba, an gyara shi fes anyi fentin ko'ina an chanja furnitures din dakina da kujerun falo an saka royals masu colours brown, golden brown, da kuma golden, an saka matching rugs da curtains. Komai yayi kyau kamar dakin wata sabuwar amarya, amaryar ma yar masu kudi. Dakin baƙi ma an gyara shi an cire gadon ciki an saka twin beds na yara kowa kuma da wardrobe din sa da yar karamar dresser, dakin yayi matukar yin kyau. 

Da gudu nake zagaya gidan ina bi daki daki har naje dakin sa, ina budewa na tsaya ina kallon dakin babu abinda aka chanja a ciki dan daga alama ma ko bude shi ba'a yi ba tun da muka tafi. Yazo ya tsaya a bayana ya dora kansa a wuyana yana dariya "don't comment, kar ki ce komai" na juyo "shi nan dakin laifin me yayi da ba'a gyara shi ba?" Ya shafa kansa Yace "kudi ne yayi min short, za'a gyara shi in an samu wasu, for now babu wanda ya san ba'a gyara shi ba daga ni sai ke" Na juya ido na "sai na gaya wa duk wanda yazo" yayi murmushi "ke za'a yiwa dariya ai ace dakin mijinki bai yi kyau ba" na shafa fuskarsa "I don't care, tunda mijina yana da kyau ban damu da kyan dakinsa ba" yana murmushi ya kama hips dina ya daga ni ni kuma na makale a jikinsa "da gaske? You think ina da kyau?" Nayi murmushi nima nace "the most handsome man I have ever seen"...........

Tunda muka dawo kullum sai mun samu baki masu zuwa yi mana barka da zuwa, mu kuma muka bude jaka mukayi ta rabon tsaraba. Kasancewar dawowar mu da kuma gyaran gidan mu ya faru kusan lokaci daya sai ya zamana duk wanda yazo mana sannu da zuwa sai kuma ya ga gyaran da mukayi, kowa kuma ya gani sai yayi santin yadda gidan yayi kyau musamman yan gidan mu. 

Umma da Hajiya da Farhan da Amira ne sukafara zuwa, a lokacin ne suke bani labarin cewa Umar Farhan ya kira lokacin muna Saudiyya yace tazo gidan mu ta hada mana kayan mu za'a zo ayi aiki, ita da Amira ne suka kwashe mana kayan mu bayan an gama kuma suka zo suka jera mana komai suka gyara mana. Sannan kuma ya turo mota aka kwashe furnitures din da aka cire aka kaiwa Umma kamar yadda yace za'a yi. Suka nuna min hotunan yadda aka gyarawa umma dakinta ita ma da kayana, har fenti yaya Tahir ya saka akayi mata kafin a saka kayan, Bedroom din ta da falonta sunyi kyau fes kamar ba su ba. 

Duk hirar da muke yi Hajiya tana jin mu, I was surprised da naji bata ce komai ba sai bin mu da kallo kawai take yi, da nace su zagaya gidan su gani ma na dauka zata ce ba zata gani ba amma sai naga ta tashi sun zagaya tare har ma dayi min murna "Allah ya sanya alkhairi yasa a kashe lafiya" nace "ameen"

Da zasu tafi sai na roki Umma ta rokar min Abba ya bar Amira tazo ta dan kwanar min biyu dan in samu in huta sosai, dan ba karamar gajiya nake ji ba ga kuma baki basa barina in samu isashshen hutu, ga yara. Ta girgiza kai "ba zai bari ba. Nima na san zaki dawo a gajiye shi yasa da zamu taho na tambayeshi zan bar miki ita amma ya hana, yace baya son kwadayi" suka yi dariya gaba daya ni kuma naji babu dadi.

Washegari sai ga Mama Sa'a tazo ita da ƴaƴan ta baki daya, na lura Mammy da jakar kaya a hannun ta. "Dama yau nace zamu zo mu yi miki sannu da zuwa sai kuma Hajiya tace in kawo miki Mammy ta taya ki zama tunda babu abinda take yi a gida, taji kina complain din gajiya kuma Abba ya hana ki Amira, na samu babanta ya barta da kyar, sai take yi miki ayyuka kuma take kula miki da yara kafin ki samu ki huta" 

Naji dadi tunda nasan ina bukatar taimako, duk da dai ba Mammy naso ba nafi son Amira amma hausawa sunce a rashin uwa akan yi uwar daki. Nayi mata godiya sosai kuma na kira Hajiya ita ma nayi mata godiya "nasan yadda kike ji ai, aikin hajji ai akwai gajiyar wa, nima sanda naje da na dawo ai har sai da na yi jinya" sai ta dauko labarin zuwan su hajji ita da Abba tana bani har da dariya, abinda bana jin ni da ita mun taba zama munyi. 

Naji dadin zuwan Mammy, problem din dana dauka zan samu da ita na rashin kunya da rawar kai duk ban samu ba, kullum zata gyara min gida ta kula da yara ta kuma yi mana girki, mu kuma muka samu damar hutawa ni da Umar sosai, sai dai idan munyi baki ta je ta kira ni in basu kulawa in sun tafi in koma. 

A haka har na wartsake tas na fito na cigaba da harkoki na, Umar kuma ya koma aikin sa, amma ban ce Mammy ta koma gida ba sai na barta ta cigaba da zama tunda naga tana son zaman kuma bana samun problem da ita.

A lokacin ne wani abu ya faru.........

Suddenly without warning Umar ya chanja min gabakidaya ya rikice min. Rana daya ya wuni a office tun safe har magrib ba tare da ya kira ni ba ba kuma tare daya dauki kiran da nake ta jera masa ba. A ranar hankali na ya tashi nayi ta sake saken ko wani abun ne ya faru dashi, na kasa hakuri sai na kira Mufida inji ko yaje gida ko kuma sunji wani labari da banji ba, sai ta gaya min cewa yanzu taji suna waya da Mama. 

Na cigaba da jira, na kuma cigaba da kira amma still bai dauka ba sai bayan magrib ya dawo gida. Ina jin tsayuwar motarsa na tashi da sauri da Asad a hannuna na bude masa kofa, glad that he is okay, yana karaso wa nayi masa murmushi "sannu da zuwa" ya amsa "yauwa sannunki" sao ya wuce ni, ignoring the hug that I was about to give him, na bi shi a baya amma da yake sauri yake yi kafin in shiga corridor har ya shiga dakin sa ya rufe kofa, ina kama handle din naji yayi locking dinta ta cikin, sai na kasa motsawa daga inda nake, mamaki ya cika min zuciyata na kuma fara tuhumar kaina idan nayi masa wani laifi ne ba tare da na sani ba dan ni kam da sanina bana jin nayi masa komai. 

Yasmin wadda ta na dakina sanda ya shigo ta fito tana rarraba ido "mommy Daddy ne yazo? Ina yake?" Nace "yana dakin sa Yasmin, Daddy ya gaji zai kwanta ne" na wuce ta na shiga dakina na ajiye Asad na zauna a bakin gado tare da dafe kaina ina jin tunani na ya na tsayawa a waje daya "me yake faruwa?" 

Asad ya taka ya fita shima yana kiran sunan babansa da gwaranci. "Daddy! Daddy!" Suka hadu shi da Yasmin suna ta kira suna buga masa kofa amma ko alamar budewa bai yi ba. Naje na dauko su na basu abinci, suka ci da kyar dan sun saba tare da shi muke dinner kullum, sannan nayi musu shirin bacci wanda sai da mukayi dan karamin yaki sannan sukayi wajen karfe taran dare, amma har lokacin bai bude kofa ba. 

Bayan na samu sun kwanta nayi musu addu'a sai nima na dan kwanta ina tunanin abinda ya kamata inyi, inje in buga masa kofa ne in tambayeshi lafiyarsa kalau ko kuma in share shi tunda dai sanda ya shigo ban ga alamar akwai rashin lafiya a tare da shi ba. 

Ina kwance ne naji kamar maganganu a falo, sai na tashi na fita da sauri, ga mamaki na sai na ganshi zaune akan dining shida Mammy ta zuba masa abinci yana ci tana masa hira yana ta zabga murmushi. Naji wani abu ya taba zuciyata. Na karasa na tsaya a bayansa "ka fito ashe. Yara sun gama rigimar neman ka har sun hakura sunyi bacci" ko kallon inda nake baiyi ba ballantana ya bani amsa, na zagayo gefen sa na ja kujera na zauna sai Mammy ta mike zata bar gurin sai yace "ina kuma zaki je muna hirar mu?" Tayi murmushi tana jujjuya ido "bacci nake ji, sai da safe ma karasa maganar" ta juya ta tafi, and I couldn't help but noticed yadda yabi ta da kallo. 

Zafin abin ya saka na kasa magana, sai kawai gani nayi ya ajiye spoon din hannunsa ya tashi ya bar min gurin, na tattare kayan gurin na kawar sannan nima na tashi na tafi, ko kallon dakinsa banyi ba na shige nawa na kwanta a raina ina cewa dani kake zancen, zaka zo ka same ni ne har inda nake a lokacin ne kuma zaka yi bayanin dalilin da yasa kayi abinda kayi din. Sai dai abinda ban sani ba a lokacin shine wannan fadan yafi karfina. Tun ina juyi ina jiran inji ya shigo karbar abinda nasan baya fushi da shi har na fitar da rai bacci ya dauke ni.

Da safe na tashi na fara aikina kamar yadda na saba, ina saka ran fitowar Mammy dan takan fito in taji ina aiki ta kama min muyi tare amma shiru har na gama hada breakfast na koma na tashi Yasmin na shiryata muka fito kusan a tare da Faruq. Yasmin ta saki hannu na ta tafi gurin sa da gudu "Daddy na!" Ya daga ta sama "uwata ta kaina. Kin tashi lafiya? Ina Asad?" Tace "yana bacci, Daddy ina ta nemanka jiya ban ganka ba" ya zauna da ita a jikinsa "to gani yanzu me zaki bani?"

Na jawo cups na fara hada musu tea sannan nace masa "barka da assuba" "lfy lau" yace ba tare da ya kalle ni ba. Na mika masa tea din ya dauka yana kalle kalle kamar mai neman wani abu "ina dota ta? Kar dai bata tashi ba" na saki baki ina kallon sa na rasa ma amsar da zan bashi. Sai kuma na zauna "Umar wai lafiya kuwa? Daga jiya zuwa yau na kasa gane kanka lafiya? Nayi wani laifi ne da ban sani ba?" 

Ya ajiye cup din hannunsa yana kallon agogo "Yasmin sauri ki sha tea mu tafi zaki makara" ya mike tsaye nima na mike ina jin kamar zanyi kuka "baka yi min magana ba fa. Tun jiya kaki kayi min magana me nayi maka wai?" Yace "baki yi min komai ba fa. Kuma ni ban san abinda yasa kike wannan tambayar ba, in wani abun kika so ki bari in dawo sai ki gaya min yanzu sauri nake yi" sai ya dauki jakarsa ya tafi, yana tafiya yana waigen kofar dakin yara inda Mammy take.

Sai wajen 12 sannan Mammy ta fito, lokacin na gama komai har nayi wa Asad wanka nima nayi na shirya. Ta gaishe ni sannan ta zarce dining table ta fara zuba abinci, nace "Mammy in kin gama cin abincin ki shirya zan mayar dake gida" ta ajiye cokalin hannun ta tana kallo na "gida Aunty?" Nace "eh. Na gama hutawar ai. Zan cigaba da dukkan ayyuka na da kaina yanzu" ta zumbura baki "ni wallahi ni wallahi" na ari page daga cikin pages din Farhan "kar dai kiyi min rashin kunya. Ki shirya nace zan kaiki gida yanzu" ta dangwarar da tea din da yake hannunta har ya zube akan table din sannan ta koma dakin data fito taa kunkuni. Na bita da kallo sannan na tafi dakina na dauko kayan da na ware zan bata na fito dasu na ajiye a kusa dani tare da key din mota. 

Bata jima sosai ba ta fito da jakat kayanta a hannun ta sannan tayi waje ba tare da ta ce min komai ba, wata zuciyar tace min in bar ta kawai ta tafi a motar haya tunda ita marar kunya ce amma sai dai na tashi na dauki kayan da na bata sannan na dauki Asad na fita. Tana tsaye a kusa da mota ta, na bude na shiga sannan itama ta bude ta shiga ta karbi Asad ta rike shi muka tafi. Har muka je gidan su babu wanda yayi magana a cikin mu, da niyya ta in ajiye ta a kofar gida in juya amma tunawa da nayi har gida aka kai min ita sai nima na shiga har gidan. Na gaishe da Mama Sa'a na kuma bata kayan da na hadowa Mammy sannan nayi mata godiyar zaman da Mammy tayi tare da ni. Na ga fuskarta ta nuna rashin jin dadin dawo mata da yarta da nayi amma ban bari hakan ya dame ni ba na juya na koma gida. 

Ban jima da komawa gida ba sai ga wayar Umar, na dauka kiran daya saba yi min ne kullum in baya gida duk bayan wani lokaci dan yaji yadda muke ni da yara, amma ina dauka sai ya rufe ni da bala'i, abinda Umar bai taba yi min ba tunda igiyar aure ta shiga tsakanin mu. "Akan wannan dalili zaki dauki Mammy ki kaita gida? Da iznin wa ma kika fita daga gida? To ki dauki kafa kije ki dauko ta kamar yadda kika dauka kika kaita" 

Sai mamaki ya kama ni, mamakin fadan da yake yi min sannan da mamakin abinda yake min fadan a kan sa. Har ya gama fadan sa tare da bayar da umarnin sa bance komai ba sai ya kashe wayar. Na zauna ina jin kaina gabakidaya ya kulle, amma ko kadan banyi niyyar cika umarnin sa ba kuma na saka a raina cewa indai har ya dauko ta ya dawo da ita ni kuma zan fita in bar musu gidan sai da ya zaba ko ni ko ita. 

Sai dai kuma daya dawo din bai dawo da itan ba kuma baiyi min maganar dawo da ita din ba, sai dai na ganshi da sabuwar android phone a hannun sa, ya kwanta a falo yana ta danne dannen sa, na zauna a hannun kujerar da yake kai nace "sabuwar waya muka yi?" "Uhmm" kawai yace min, na sake cewa "kuma babu sanarwa balle mu taya ka murna, ko dan kar a bani dani" ya mike zaune yana kallo na "idan nayi niyyar yin sabuwar waya lallai sai na sanar da ke kafin inyi? Yanzu ba gashi kin gani ba"


And I asked myself "ina Umarul Faruq dina?" Dan wannan ba shi bane ba wani be mai kama da shi......

And that was just the beginning......

Weeks din da suka biyo bayan nan zan iya cewa are the worst a rayuwar auren mu. Umar ya chanja completely, ba wai cin mutunci ko zagi ko hantara ta yake yi ba, a'a, nunawa yake yi as if I am invisible. Ya daina zaman gida kwata kwata, tun yana dawowa gida bayan isha har ya koma dawowa karfe goma har ya koma wani lokacin sai cikin bacci zanji an bude masa gate ya shigo gida. Abinci ma ya daina ci sam sam ko da kuwa breakfast ne. On his bright days ne zai zauna yayi wasa da yaransa, on the worst days kuma ko su basu ishe shi kallo ba ballantana ni da ko a inches na kusa da shi baya son ganina. 

In yana gida ma wayarsa tafi yi masa komai muhimmanci a cikin gidan, daga baya har ta kai Umar yana zama yayi waya da budurwa a gaba na. Na fahimci budurwa ce saboda kalamai irin "ke ma kin san in banji muryar ki ba ba zan iya bacci ba".

The first time da naji irin haka I cried myself to sleep. Na tabbatar a raina Umar budurwa yayi kuma maybe aure zaiyi, na jima kuma da saka wa a raina cewa yana da wannan right din amma ban taba tsammanin in lokacin yazo zai juya min baya irin haka ba, ban taba tunanin Umar zai iya zama a gabana yana yiwa wata mace kalamai ba, yanzu da yake neman ta ma kenan, idan ya aure ta kuma fa me zan koma a gurin sa?..

And it hurt me more than I thought it would.

Bayan nan kuma sai na lura ya dawo da abotar su da Bashir, duk da ban tabbatar ba idan ma ya yanke ta da gaske a da ko kuma dama can playing dina yake yi. Na fahimci haka ne wata rana da weekend Umar yana gida naji yana waya "hello oga bro", na juyo da sauri ina kallon sa saboda fahimtar da wanda yake waya, haka yake ce da Bashir. "Ka fito ne?" "I don't feel like driving today, ka zo ka dauke ni sai mu wuce" yayi dariya "kai ka fiya tsoro, sai kace wani mata maza. Just call me in ka shigo layi sai in fito" "okay sai ka karaso".

And I realized all my efforts are gone down the drain........

And then one day. Lokacin shekaru na 24 a duniya, lokacin shekaru na biyar a gidan Umar, Yasmin lokacin watanni ne kadai suka rage tayi shekara hudu, Asad kuma yana da shekaru biyu. 

Ina falo a kwance Umar yana daki tare da Asad, sai ga Asad ya taho da wayar Umar a hannun sa yana game a ciki, na kalle shi na dauke kai na cigaba da tunanin abinda ya dame ni. Ya hau jikina ya fara rigima "mommy daddy yayi bacci, kiyi min game ni ban iya ba" na ture shi "ka rabu dani Asad" ya fara bori "ni kiyi min game, ni ban iya ba" nayi tsaki na jawo shi jiki na, haka yake, in ya samu game din da bai iya ba sai yace sai dai mutum yake yi masa shi kuma yana kalla. Ya kwanta a jikina na fara yi masa game din yana kalla, bayan wani lokaci sai naga wuyansa ya karye alamar yayi bacci, na gyara masa kwanciya nima na kwanta na cigaba da playing game din, a lokacin ne sako ya shigo wayar Umar through messenger. 

Sakon ya yi showing briefly kafin ya dauke, na tsaya da abinda nake yi ina lissafin abinda ido na ya karanto min. 

"Good morning my sweetheart"

But wannan ba shine problem dina da sakon ba. Problem dina shine sunan wadda ta turo sakon. 

Maryam Abdulaziz Bello

Sunan Mammy ne wannan, haka take amfani da shi a facebook.

Me yasa Mammy zata kira Umar da sweetheart? Mammy fa? Niece dina? Yar yayata da muke uba daya da ita?

Yatsana ya tafi sama na jawo saman wayar. Na sake karanta sakon nata, sannan na murja idona dan in tabbatar ba gizo yake yi min ba. Tabbas ita din ce dan yanzu dana jawo sama har profile picture dinta na gani balle ince ko sunan ne yazo iri daya. 

Na danna sakon nata sai ya kaini zuwa kan conversations din su. 

Sakon jiya da daddare, shine ya tura mata

"Jin muryar ki kadai my dota ba zai isa ya saka ni inyi bacci mai dadi ba, ki turo min hoton ki please, na kasa bacci" 

Ita kuma tayi replying

"In kana son ka ganni kazo gidan mu mana. But I guess matar ka ba zata barka ba"

"Soon my love. Very soon zan zo har sai yan gidan ku sun gaji dani sun aura min ke na taho da ke gidana"

"In gani a kasa. Kullum alƙawari har yanzu babu cikawa"

Na kasa cigaba da karantawa na dora wayar akan kirjina tare da rufe idona. Ina jin wani irin bacin rai da bana tunany na taba jin irinsa a lokacin. Ashe wani bacin ran yana gaba. 

Na bude idona na sake daga screen din wayar, luckily wayar bata rufe ba dan ban san pin din wannan wayar ba. Sai nayi scrolling sama ina ta karanta hirarrakin su, soyayya ce suke yi sosai, mijina soyayya yake yi da yar sister dina. A lokacin na tabbatar ita ce yake waya da ita a gaba na. It has been her all along.

Sai kuma naga wani sakon da akayi five days ago. 

"Ni dai tsoro nake ji Daddy. In Baba na ya sani wallahi kashe ni zai yi"

"Ta yaya zai sani? Ke zaki gaya masa?"

"A'a"

"To waye zai gaya masa? Ta yaya zai sani?"

"In wani ya ganmu fa? Ba aure na zaka yi ba? To kazo ayi magana mana" 

"Ke ma ai kinsan dalilin da yasa har yanzu ban zo din ba. We have to be careful dan in maganar mu ta fito ba kowa ne zai fahimta ba. Kuma ni bana jin zan iya cigaba da hakura dake har lokacin. I can't help myself"

"Ni dai ina jin tsoro Daddy. Kar a kama mu fa?"

"In an kama mu din ma sai me? I will protect you with my life idan bukatar hakan ta zo. Ni dai dan Allah kar ki ce min a'a ba zan iya hakura ba komai yana iya faruwa da ni"

"To yanzu ya zamu yi kenan? Ni bansan me zan ce a gida a barni ba. Kuma wani zai iya ganina a motar ka a gaya wa Baba na"

"Yauwa. Ai ba zuwa zanyi in dauke ki ba. Gobe weekend ba kuna wuni a islamiyya ba? Idan kun tafi da siblings dinki sai kiyi wayo kar ki shiga, in sun wuce ki hau adaidaita zan turo miki address din gidan gonar baban abokina. It is safe there. Zan same ki a can. In kinje kawai ki ce da mai gadin Dr Umar ne ya turo ki zai bude miki ki shiga"

"Okay to zan gwada. Amma in naga za'a kamani zan fasa. Ina jin tsoro gaskiya"

"At least try. You have no idea what this will mean to me"

Idanuna suka kasa cigaba da karatun, kwakwalwa ta ta kasa cigaba da fahimtar abinda nake karantawa. Na mike zaune ina kallon Asad da yake kwance a jikina yana baccin sa hankalinsa a kwance, looking so much like his father. 

Na zame shi daga jikina na kwantar da shi akan kujera dan gudun kar ya fadi saboda rawar da jikina yake yi. Sai kuma na zame kasan kujerar na kifa kaina a saman guiwowina ina fitar da wani numfashi mai zafi. 

Babu abinda zuciyata bata yiwa Umar wishing ba, I wished daga baccin da yake zai zarce lahira, I wished dakin da yake ciki zai kama da wuta ya kone ya zama toka, I wished............I wished ban taba saninsa ba. I wished ba'a halicce ni ba ballantana inji abinda nake ji yanzu a zuciya ta. 

Na sake daukan wayar, and I made screenshots of as much of their conversations as possible. Na dauko wayata a gefe na tura su through xender sannan na ajiye masa wayarsa a kusa da dansa. Wannan screenshots din sune nake saka ran zasu zamo shaidar da zata kawo min karshen alakakai din wannan auren. 

But kafin nan I need to confirm something.

Na mike na shiga dakina na dauko hijab dina na saka sannan na fito na dauki wayata da key din motata na fita. A mota na zauna na shiga ta WhatsApp na tura masa screenshots din dana tura zuwa wayata with the caption "ka rubuta min takarda ta kafin in dawo"

Gidan Mama Sa'a na zarce, na tsaya a mota dan bana so in shiga a yanayin da nake sai na kira ta a waya. "Mama ina wuni ya yara. Dan Allah Mammy tana kusa? Dan turo min ita ina waje a mota zata dan rakani unguwa" 

Kamar yadda nayi tsammani bata hana ba, jimawa kadan sai ga Mammy ta fito tana bina da kallo mamaki, na dauke kaina daga kallon ta trying so hard not to imagine her tare da Umar a gado. Ta shigo motar ta zauna ba tare da ta gaishe ni ba sai na dauko waya ta na bude hoto guda daya na nuna mata. 

Farko ta dan fara bata fuska tana dubawa sai kumata bude ido a tsorace sannan tayi kokarin fita daga motar sai nayi locking kofar. Ta juyo tana kallona da ido a waje, nace "ina son kiyi duk abinda na saka ki idan kuma ba haka ba wallahi kinji na rantse wannan sakon sai na tura wa ubanki shi a yanzu. Ina da number dinsa ai" 

Ta fara karkarwar jiki, na fahimci tana tsoron babanta sosai. Sai na kunna motar na bar layin sannan na kira wata kawata da mukayi school of nursing tare, yanzu tana aiki a asibitin Murtala Muhammad anan Kano "sister Aisha kina asibiti? Okay ganinan shigowa da wata alfarma please. Okay sai nazo" 

Ban ko kalli inda Mammy take ba na kunna motar zuwa asibitin, muna packing na fita na bata umarnin ta biyo ni har office din su sister A'isha. Tana kallo na ta mike "sister Hauwa'u lafiya. Baki da lafiya ne?" Na zauna sannan nace mata "bana jin dadi sosai, amma ba wannan ne ya kawo ni ba" 

Na nuna mata Mammy "wannan yar sister tace, ina so dan Allah ki duba min ita ki ga a bude take ko a rufe" Mammy ta fara ja da baya na kalle ta nace "zan ci ubanki wallahi. Kin san dai abinda nace zanyi miki ko?" Ta fara kuka "dan Allah Aunty Jidda kiyi hakuri, dan Allah" ban kula magiyar ta ba na saka tabi sister Aisha ciki, jimawa kadan suka fito tare, Mammy tana ta kuka. 

A'isha ta kalle ni fuskar ta cike da alhini, "kiyi hakuri sister. Yarinyar nan a bude take, kamar ma ba'a jima da bude ta ba, the place is still healing" naji wani zafi beyond kwatance ya daki zuciyata, na dafe kirjina na sunkuyar da kaina, hopping babban abokina wato kuka zai zo min amma bai zo ba sai Mammy ce take ta kukan ta. 

Sister Aisha ta dafa ni, "kiyi hakuri Hauwa'u. Yaran yanzu ne an haife su amma ba'a haifi halin su ba. Kuma tarbiyya yanzu sai a hankali................" 

Ta cigaba da magana amma ni ba jinta nake yi ba. Na gado kai at last na kalle ta sannan nace "babu komai sister Aisha. Nagode sosai. Please let this be between you and me" ta gyada kai da sauri "insha Allah". 

Sai na mike nace da Mammy "mu je" sister A'isha tace "zaki ita tuki kuwa Hauwa'u? You don't seem so well" na danyi mata murmushi nace "zan iya. Nagode."

Sai muka fito muka koma motar. A raina ina hoping zamuyi accident a hanya ko Mammy bata mutu ba ni in mutu, maybe in na mutu zuciyata zata huta.

Na dauki hanyar gidan Umar a guje, ina fatan kafin inje gidan in tarar ya rubuta min takarda ta dan ko bai rubuta ba yau a gidan mu zan kwana, ko kuma a gefen titi.

Ga masu son siya zasu iya turo kudin su #300 zuwa wannan account din

0779484494
Nafisa Tafida Usman
Access Bank

Sai su turo evidence of payment zuwa wannan number din ta hanyar WhatsApp
08067081020

Wadanda basu da account kuma zasu turo MTN recharge card na 300 zuwa wannan number din 08067081020

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Forgive the typos please.....,

*Wannan littafin na siyarwa ne bisa amana, idan baki siya ba kar ki karanta, idan kuma kin siya kar ki sharing, in kika yi kinci amana kuma ke da Allah*

*Enchanted*

Gudu nake zubawa a motar kamar wadda zan tashi sama, ina kakkaucewa motoci da babura ne badan bana so inyi accident ba sai dan bana so inyi accident intentionally dan in na mutu zai zamanto kamar na kashe kaina kenan. Amma at the back of my mind da akwai wani voice da yake hoping muyi accident din ko na samu in mutu in huta. Ba zan kwatanta yadda zuciyata take kuna ba kuma bana fatan ku fahimta dan babu wadda zata fahimta sai wadda mijinta ya nemi yar yayarta, bana kuma fatan hakan ta kasance ga duk wata yar uwata musulma ko da kuwa makiyiya ta ce. 

Tun Mammy tana dauriya har ta tsorata sosai da uban gudun da nake zubawa, ta kankame jikinta ta cure a guri daya tana kuka "dan Allah Aunty Jidda kar ki yar damu, wallahi bana so in mutu, in na mutu wuta zan tafi wallahi" nayi kamar ban ji ta ba, na cigaba da abinda yake gabana ina godewa Allah da ban taho da Asad ba yadda ko da munyi accident din babu shi. But ya rayuwar sa zata kasance idan babu ni a duniya? Ya rayuwar su zata kasance shi da yaruwarsa? Na tabbatar uban su za'a barwa su a matsayinsa na kammallen cikakken mutum. Ya tarbiyyar su zata kasance a hannun Faruq kuma a bayan ido na? Tun da Faruq ya iya neman Mammy, bashi da shamaki akan wadda zai nema nan gaba, ko da kuwa Yasmin ce. 

Na sassauta gudun da nake yi ba fara controlling motar a hankali, now hoping not to die but inje gidan Umar in karbi takarda ta da nake saka ran by now ya riga ya rubuta min sannan in debi yarana mu tafi gida. Sai dai na kasa barin ƙwaƙwalwa ta tayi tunanin yadda zuwan namu gida zai kasance.....

Muna zuwa gida nayi packing, abinda na fara lura da shi shine rashin motar Umar a compound. Amma ban karaya ba sai na bude kofa na fito sannan na zagayo na bude gaba na damki hannun Mammy da har yanzu take rakube tana karkarwa na finciko ta daga cikin motar nayi cikin gidan da ita, not minding kallon da maigadi ya bimu da shi. 

Ina shiga falo na fara rafka masa kira "Umar Muhammad Gidado. Umar Faruq Gidado" da muryar da naji ta kamar ba tawa ba. "Ka fito duk a inda kake ka bani takarda ta, ka fito ga ta na kawo maka ka bani takarda ta in matsa in baku guri" sai dai babu shi babu alamun sa, daki daki nabi da Mammy a hannuna har da su bude toilet amma ko inuwar sa ban gani ba. 

Na jawo ta muka dawo falo, taa ta kokarin karbe hannunta daga cikin nawa tana cigaba da kukan ta "dan Allah Aunty Jidda kiyi hakuri, dan Allah Aunty Jidda kiyi hakuri" .

Na saki hannun da sauri sannan na sauke shi a fuskar ta cikin karfin da ban san ina da shi ba, karfin marin ya saka ta durkushe a kasa tare da rike kuncinta. Na nuna ta da yatsa "kar ki sake ambatar sunana ballantana ki ambaci kalmar hakuri" naji a raina babu kalmar da na tsana irin ta hakuri. Na cigaba "tunda babban munafikin baya nan zan fara settling ki ke karamar munafukar. Ki tashi mu koma gidan ku in je in damka ki a hannun wannan mugun uban naki in kuma gaya masa duk abinda kika yi tare da nuna masa shaida, in yaso ya saka gabanki gabas ya yanka ki, in uwarki tayi magana itama ya dora ta akan gawarki ya yanka ta, all of you can go to hell for all I care". 

Ta saki fuskar da sauri tana zare ido cikin tsoro "na shiga uku, Aunty Jidda ki rufa min asiri kiyi min rai kamar yadda Allah yayi miki, wallahi da gaske nake kashe ni zaiyi in yaji maganar nan, wallahi in na mutu Allah kona ni zaiyi. Kin ce in banyi abinda kika ce ba ne zaki gaya masa kuma nayi duk abinda kika ce" nace "ai bance in kika yi ba zan nuna masa ba, ko na fada? Munafuka. Kina tsoron mutuwar kika aikata abinda kika aikata? Ai ke ba yarinya bace ba da hankalin ki kina sane kin san abinda kike yi kuma kinsan girman abinda kika yi" 

Ta cigaba da kuka da sheshsheka "wallahi ba laifi na bane ba. Cewa yayi zai aure ni. Dan Allah Aunty Jidda ki rufa min asiri. Wallahi na fasa auren sa ma ni. Zan gaya masa in ce ya rabu da ni babu ni babu shi" na girgiza kaina "ko kadan bana so ki rabu dashi. So nake ki aure shi din dan the two of you deserve each other. Ki tashi mu tafi gidan ku wallahi tun kafin inyi miki dukan da zaki kasa tashi" ta sake rike kafata tana girgiza kai "dan Allah, dan Allah" na dauko wayata "okay tunda ba zaki je ba bara in kira uban naki shi yazo nan gidan da kansa, maybe ma kafin nan surukin nasa ya dawo sai ya bashi sadaki kawai ya daura muku aure a yau" ta mike da sauri tana rike hannuna da yake rike da wayar. 

"Dan Allah ki rufa min asiri kamar yadda Allah ya rufa miki. Wallahi zan gaya miki komai in kinyi alkawarin ba zaki gaya masa ba, dan Allah kar ki kira shi wallahi zan gaya miki duk abinda ya faru" 

Na kwace hannu na daga nata "waye ya gaya miki ina so inji komai? Ku rike kazantar ku ke da shi, wanda na sani ma da zan iya zuwa a goge min memory na da naje anyi min" na fada cikin zafin zuciya. Sai ta girgiza kai tace "ba maganar shi zan gaya miki ba. Wata maganar ce. In dai ba zaki fadawa kowa abinda ya faru ba"

Nace "oh ba maganar shi ba? Maganar ki kenan zaki yi min? Yadda kike kokarin maye gurbi na a cikin rayuwata tun kafin in mutu? Maganar......." Tace "bani ba ce ba wallahi. Hajiya ce" 

Na dakata da maganar da nake yi na juyo ina kallon ta "Hajiya? Ita ce ta saka ki cusa kanki a gurin mijina kuma tace ki kwanta dashi?" Tace "ita ce ta bani magani tace in binne" 

Na saki wayar hannu na ta fadi kasa ina jin numfashi na yana tsayawa a kirjina, sai ta zame ta durkusa a kusa da kafafuwana tace "dan Allah, dan Allah, kar ki fada wa kowa wallahi tsoro nake ji. Zan fada miki duk abinda ya faru kuma zan rabu da mijinki amma dan Allah kar ki gayawa kowa abinda kika sani wallahi nayi nadama kuma danay na gaya masa ba zan kara zuwa gidan gonar nan ba" na runtse idona na bude, har yanzu hawaye basu zo min ba, sannan nace "menene zaki gaya min?" 

Tace "Hajiya ce wallahi, ta jima tana cewa in ringa yi masa kirki ina kiran sa a waya ina kuma zuwa gidan ku, ita ce take matsawa wai in ringa zama a gidan nan ina yi masa magana to shine kuma sanda kuka dawo daga Saudiya sai ta je gidan mu ta kirani ta bani wani abu tace za'a kawo ni gidan nan tace in binne a kofar palon ku in da zai ke tsallaka wa kullum, ta kuma bani wani turare tace in ke shafawa kullum in kuma tabbatar zai zo kusa dani yaji kamshin, kuma ta bani wani magani tace in saka masa a abinci amma shi kadai, ta tabbatar min wai in nayi haka soyayyar da yake yi miki zata dawo ni yake yiwa ita, zai ji idan bai aure ni ba kamar zai mutu ne, tace zai rabu dake kuma ni ya aure ni in zama ni ce matarsa ni zan cigaba da zama a gidan nan ke kuma ki fita, ni za'a ke saiwa mota kuma ake kaini Makka"

"Bayan nazo shine ranar nan kuna bacci na binne abin da ta bani, kuma nake saka turaren data bani kullum da dare lokacin da muke zama muyi kallo tare a falo, na abincin ne tunda tare kuke ci da kyar na samu na zuba masa wataray da yaci abinci shi kadai. To shine sai yake turo min text yake ce min wai ina da kyau, ko yace min yana son ganina, ko kuma ya kira ni a waya yace yana son jin muryata. Shine ke kuma kika mayar da ni gida. Sai muka cigaba da magana a waya. Yace min yana sona sosai kuma yana son ya aure ni. Ni kuma nace masa ya sake ki kamar yadda Hajiya tace in ke gaya masa, kullum sai yace min to zaiyi amma yaki yi din, kullum yace zai zo gidan mu amma bai taba zuwa ba sai dai yace in turo masa hotona ya ganni. Shine ranar nan ya fara yi min zancen abin nan, yace shi mutuwa zaiyi idan bai yi ba, kuma yace ai aure na zaiyi in yayi din, yace in na yarda munyi zai sake ki ni kuma ya aure ni" 

Ta rufe fuskarta tana kuka "na gaya masa dama ni tsoro nake ji, ina tsoron kar a kama mu. Nace masa ya bari muyi auren amma yaki. Dan Allah Aunty Jidda kiyi hakuri. Dan Allah ki rufa min asiri" 

Na mike tsaye ba tare da na kalli inda take ba na wuce kitchen na dauko the closest wuka da na gani, ina fitowa falon sai ta mike da gudu ta shige dakin yara ta turo kofa. Na wuce kofar dakin da take na bude kofar falon na tsaya ina kallon kasan kofar, inda kullum za'a tsallaka kafin a fita daga gidan kuma za'a tsallaka idan za'a shigo. 

Flowers ne a jere a gaban yar karamar varandar da kofar falon take ciki, a cikin ramin flowers din aka yi matakala biyu da zaka taka ka hau varandar, hakan ya saka kasan stairs din ya zama kasa ce, amma mostly tsallakewa akeyi dan space din ma kafa ba zata iya shiga ba.

Na durkusa a gaban gurin na fara tone kasan gurin da wukar hannu na a rikice, ban jima ina hakar ba na ga abinda nake nema. 

Wani abu ne mai suffar kwai, amma yafi kwai girma sai dai jikinsa kamar shell din kwai. Na dauka a hannuna ina kalla, jikina gabakidaya yana karkarwa, rubutu ne a jiki kacakaca da larabci wani kan wani wani kan wani, a ciki na tsinci sunayen Umar, da nawa dana Mammy.

Na mike tsaye da abin a hannuna, jiki na yana karkarwa kamar ana kadani, karkarwar da nake yi ce ta saka abin ya zame daga hannuna ya fadi a edge din barandar sannan ya tarwatse a cikin flowers, wasu layu suka bayyana, yan kanana kanana har babu kyan gani wadanda aka dinka su wata a jikin wata wata a jikin wata. 

Naji wani amai ya taso min, na koma cikin gidan da sauri sannan na shige dakina na shiga toilet nayi amai kamar zan fitar da yayan hanjina. Na dawo daki na zauna a gaban gado na dafe kaina ina mayar da numfashi, sai a lokacin kukan da nake nema yazo min, na hada kai da guiwa kuwa nayi shi kamar raina zai fita. 

Farko kaina ya kulle ban ma san tunanin menene zanyi ba, tunanin mijina ya kwanta da yar yayata ko kuma tunanin matar babana da kuma yan uwana da muke uba daya, duk da ban tabbatar da hadin bakin su ko kuma hadin Hajiya ne ita kadai ba, sun shirya rabani da mijina da yayana da gidana sannan su saka yar yayata a madadi na. 

Wannan wanne irin tashin hankali ne? 

Wannan wacce irin rayuwa ce.....

Na sani cewa tun ina karama ta Hajiya da yayanta basa sona, with exception of Farhan, na kuma sani cewa tun sanda Umar ya fara neman aure na basa son auren na mu either, na kuma sani dan ina gani a idon su cewaa suna hassadar irin rayuwar da suke tunanin ina yi a gidan mijina amma ban taba tunanin har abin ya kai wannan matsayin ba. Ban taba tunanin they can stoop this low ba. 

Sai da nayi kuka na na koshi sannan ƙwaƙwalwa ta ta fara aiki. Na fahimci motive dinsu shine su cirewa Umar so na su saka masa son Mammy, su saka ya sake ni sannan ya aure ta. In koma gida ita kuma ta shiga rayuwar da suke tunanin ina yi. 

Sai dai abin nasu sai yazo musu ba yadda suka shirya ba, sai Umar din yaki sakina da wuri kamar yadda suka saka rai, sannan kuma asirin nasu ya tarar da halinsa wannan ya hadu har ya kai shi ga neman Mammy. Yes, sunyi masa asiri amma halin sa ne ya kai shi ga neman Mammy. Abinda suka kawata masa suka ce zaiji idan baiyi ba kamar zai mutu, sun dauka zai aure ta ne kafin yayi, shi kuma yayi ba tare da ya aure ta din ba.

Maybe da sun san ainahin halin Umar, da ba zasu kawata masa Mammy har haka ba. Tabbas sun haka min ramin mugunta ne amma sai ya rufta da su tunda Allah ya ga zuciyata ya kuma san bana nufin kowa da sharri, ko kuma in ce ya rufta da Mammy tunda stain din yanzu a jikinta yake, and will forever be on her.

Tunowa da nayi da Mammy ya saka na mike na wanke fuskata a toilet na fita, sai dai babu ita babu alamun ta a cikin gidan, ta gudu, na fita bakin kofa, layun da suka zubo daga cikin kwan suma basa gurin, ko tantama kuma bana yi cewa ita ce ta dauka ta tafi dasu. Na juya na koma falo, sai na kalli agogo nayi realising lokacin dauko Yasmin daga makaranta yayi har ma ya wuce, na koma na shiga mota naje na dauko ta na dawo. Muna shigowa na hada mata cornflakes na kunna mata tv sannan na wuce dakina na fara gada kayana a jikin yar karamar jaka.

Tabbas duk abinda Umar yayi yayi ne under the influence of asiri amma kuma that did not change the fact that yayi din, he slept with my niece, and that is something I will neither forget nor forgive. Dole my step four will happen. Dole zan je gida kuma zan gaya wa iyayena halin da  aurena yake ciki ya rage nasu su fahimta kuma su dau makaki ko kuma su ki fahimta kuma suki daukan mataki ni kuma in shiga step five dina. 

Na dan debi kaya na kadan, na wuce dakin yara na debar musu suma wadanda zasu dan kwana biyu a raina ina lissafin kafin a aiko a kwashe min kayana daga gidan Umar. Amma kuma a son samu na nafi son in tafi da takarda ta a hannuna yadda Abba will have no choice then to listen to me, sai dai kuma Umar din babu shi babu alamun yana da niyyar zuwa gida yanzu, ni kuma ba zan iya cigaba da zama har in jira shi yazo ba dan iskar gidan kanta ji nake yi tana min yaji yaji kamar zata yi suffocating dina.

Sai da na gama diban iyakacin wadanda zan diba sannan na juyo zan fito daga dakin, sai wani siririn voice a cikin kaina ya tambaye ni "idan kin je gidan me zaki ce ya faru?" Na dakata da tafiyar tawa ina lissafa tambayar, sai na bada amsa "zan bada labarin duk abinda ya faru ga duk wanda zai saurara" "zaki ce Umar mijinki uban yayanki ya kwanta da yar yayarki? and then what?" Na kuma tambayar kai na..

Sai na zame kasa na zauna na dora kaina akan jakar da na hada mana kaya. Tabbas Hajiya tayi wa Umar asiri kuma sanadiyyar hakan hadi da halinsa, ya saka ya kwanta da Mammy. Amma babu wanda ya san hakan sai su da suka yi asirin sai kuma ni da Mammy ta gaya wa, and I realized a yanzu bani da shaida ta cewa asiri suka yi masa, ina dai da shaidar yiyuwar kwanciyar sa da ita, but in na nuna wannan laifin toward wa zai yi pointing? Toward Umar, dan a hirar tasu shi yake ta hillatarta har tana nuna masa tana tsoro shi kuma yana kara insisting, har da cewa zaiyi protecting dinta with his life.

A yanzu na san maybe labari ya iske Hajiya na cewa na tone na kuma fada asirin su, meaning asirin ya karye kenan, meaning babu zancen soyayya tsakanin Umar da Mammy, kuma na tabbatar the Umar I know ba zai auri Mammy ba ko da kuwa ya sake ni din kamar yadda nake fata, dan haka burin su bai cika ba kenan, and their next target will be to destroy me, Umar da duk wani abin da ya shafe mu, including yayan mu. 

Da zarar wannan maganar ta shiga kunnen su, they will turn it around, knowing the Hajiya I know zata ma iya cewa raping Mammy yayi, yayi amfani da yarintar ta ya yaudare ta sannan yayi mata fyade. They will play the victim, and destroy Umar to the core.

Wannan ba shine damuwata ba. My concern are my children. Hajiya will make sure duk wanda ya sanni yasan abinda Umar yayi, za ta yi ta jan maganar ne kuma babu yadda zanyi da ita, har girman yayana the stain will forever be on them. Knowing the society I live in, the stain will be on me too amma bana jin hakan zai dame ni kamar yadda kasancewar sa on my children zai dame ni.

Hakan yana nufin cewa I can't even talk about maganar Mammy.............

Kuma maganar Mammy ce kadai nake da shaida akan ta a yanzu. Maryam da sauran matan da mukayi cases din su da Umar a baya bani da wata shaida da zan iya nuna wa Abba har ya fahimta ya goyi bayana.

Hakan yana nufin I can't even go home kenan.............

Unless if Umar ya bani takarda ta, then Abba will have no option then to let me stay a gidan sa.

Shigowar Yasmin ta saka na dago kaina ina kallon ta 

"Kunga yarinyar can, itace babanta mahaifi ya lalata ƴar yar babarta data zauna a gidan su"

Wannan shine abinda za'a yi ta fadi akan Yasmin da Asad. Akan yayana.

Ta tsaya tana kallona "mommy what's wrong? Are you ill?" Ta fada cikin zakin murya, sai ta zo ta dafa goshina. "Mommy you are hot, in kira daddy ya kai ki hospital?" 

Na girgiza mata kai cikin daskararriyar murya nace "am okay Yasmin. Ki je kiyi wasan ki" sai ta zauna akan gadon ta tana kallon jakar da take gaba na "mommy unguwa zamu je? Ina Asad? Da shi zamu tafi" na juyo ina kallon ta kawai ban ce komai ba ta sake tambaya "where is Daddy? Da shi zamu tafi?" 

Still ban bata amsa ba kuma ban motsa daga inda nake ba, na mayar da idona na rufe ina sauraron bugun zuciya ta. Naji hannun ta a wuyana, na sake bude ido sai naga ta bata rai "Are you crying mommy?" Na girgiza kaina da sauri ina goge hawaye na da bayan hannu na, now I can't even cry in peace. 

Sai ta wuce ni ta fita, na mike na koma kan gadon data tashi daga kai na kwanta sai gata ta dawo da wayata a hannun ta ta saka a kunnen ta, ba wai iya karatu tayi ba amma tana iya gane sunan daddyn ta a waya ta kuma tana iya kiransa. Ta nuna min wayar "bai dauka ba" sai kuma ta cigaba da kiransa amma ni nasan ko kira dubu zatayi masa ba zai daga ba. Na dai san zai dawo gida, amma bansan da wadda zai dawo din ba, shin ya rubuta min takardar da nace masa ya rubuta ko kuwa zai dai rubuta din, ko kuma ma bashi da niyyar rubuta wa gabakidaya?

Bai dawo ba, bai dauki waya ba kuma bai kira ba har sai da aka yi sallar magrib aka fito. A lokacin na tabbatar da abinda Yasmin ta fada na cewa bani da lafiya dan da kyar nayi sallar magriba na kwanta akan sallayar dan kaina juyawa kawai yake yi, sallar ma da kyar na samu na yi ta. 

Naji an bude kofar dakin, amma kuma ba'a shigo ba, tun kafin in bude ido na nasan shine amma sai naki bude idon nawa saboda bana son ganin sa, sai dai kuma in ban ganshi din ba ba zan samu damar karbar takarda tadaga hannunsa ba, ba zan samu damar karbar freedom dina daga wannan prison din rayuwar ba. 

Na dafa hannuna a kasa sannan na mike zaune na kuma juya ina kallon  sa. Ba dan sanin da nayi masa na tsahon shekaru da kuma tabbatar wa da nayi baya shaye shaye ba zan iya cewa a buge yake saboda yadda kamannin sa gabaki daya suka chanja fuskarsa tayi bakikkirin idanuwan sa suka koma ciki suka yi kanana. 

Na miko masa hannu na guda daya nace "ina ɗana? Ina Asad?" Yayi shiru, ina ganin yadda yake struggling dan fito da murya daga makogwaronsa yace "yana gida, yana gurin Mama" sai na miko masa daya hannun na hada shi da dan'uwan sa nace "ina takarda ta" yayi shiru yana kallon hannun nawa, na kara tambaya cikin sanyin murya "ina takarda ta Umar?" Ya sake yin shiru bai ce komai ba sai na ja jiki na yi kneeling a gabansa tare da hade hanayena biyu a guri daya "dan Allah Umar, dan darajar Allah da manzonsa, dan son da kake yiwa iyayen ka. Dan Allah ka sake ni" 

Sai ya zame shima ya yi kneeling kamar yadda nayi ya fara kokarin rike hannuna amma na hana shi, ya fara kuka, "Jidda dan Allah. Wallahi ba dan na san in na dauki raina wuta zan tafi ba wallahi da ayau ba zan kwana a duniya ba, da ....." Na tura shi baya nima na ja baya na zauna tare da jingina bayana da jikin gado "da zaka kashe kan naka da nafi kowa murna a duniya. Da sauran kwanakin bakin cikin da suka rage min a duniya sune wadanda zan zauna inyi takabar ka, da zaka yi haka dana fara lissafin zuwan rana kun farin ciki na a duniya"
Ya girgiza kansa da sauri "you don't mean that. Ranki a bace yake and I deserve duk abinda zaki ce min ko kuma duk abinda zaki yi min ko ma menene I deserve it. Ba zaki yarda ba ko na gaya miki, amma wallahi Jidda duk abinda nayi bansan nayi ba, kamar a cikin mafarki nake jina, kamar irin mummunan mafarkin nan da zaka kasa controlling kan ka a ciki kuma zaka yi fatan ka farka amma kuma ka kasa farka wa sai yau na farka, ban san kuma ya akayi na farka din ba, ina jin sakon da kika turo min ne ya farkar dani. Dan Allah Jidda ki fahimta, wallahi yarinyar nan asiri tayi min"

Na dauke ido na daga kansa, tabbas nasan asiri akayi masa dan ni da kaina na tone asirin, but there is no way in heaven da zan gaya masa haka, nafi so ya ji full regret, ya dauki full responsibility na dukkan aikinsa dan in wannan an masa asiri sauran ai ba asiri aka yi masa ba. Da zarar na gaya masa cewa asiri akayi masa to zai fara acting like a victim ne, blaming everyone but himself.

Na girgiza kaina "babu wani asiri da akayi maka Umar, halinka ne, halinka ne wanda yake a jikin ranka. Ai ba yau ka fara ba, yau ne dai ka tabbatar min da cewa ba zaka daina ba" ya sake matsowa kusa dani "wallahi Jidda zan daina, wallahi na daina ma. Wallahi asiri tayi min. In baki yarda ba zan je in kamo ta in kawo miki ita gaban ki in tambaye ta a gabanki na tabbatar in jikinta ya gaya mata zata fada miki gaskiya" na matsa daga kusa dashi "maza Allah ya baka sa'a, ka taba ta ka tonawa kanka asiri duniya duk ta san abinda kayi, zata iya cewa raping dinta kayi kuma dole a yarda da maganar ta tunda hausawa sunce na shiga ban dauka ba bata fidda barawo, in your case kuma bata fidda kwarto" 

Ya kama hannu na "dan Allah ki yarda dani. Ko me zata fada ko ma waye zai yarda dan Allah ki ce kin yarda, dan Allah ki yarda cewa bada sani na nayi miki wannan cin amanar ba. Wallahi ni ban ma san nayi ba. Abubuwa da yawa ban san nayi ba sai da na duba waya ta na gani. Dan Allah ki ce kin yarda da haka" 

Na sake cire hannu na daga nasa "matsalar ka ce wannan ba tawa ba. Ni dai na gama aurenka Umar. Kaje ka rubuta takarda ta ka bani ko kuma in naje gida a aiko a karba min ita. In ma asirin akayi maka to ya tarar da halin ka ne, ai asiri hali yake tararwa. Kuma ma Umar wanne dalili ne zai saka asiri ba zai kama ka ba? Kai da ko farilla baka gama tsayarwa ba? Ga zunubi ya nannade dukkan ruhinka? Ban ce in kana kula da addini asiri ba zai ci ka ba tunda har annabi an yiwa kuma ya kama shi, amma ba zaiyi maka irin mugun kamun da kake tunanin yayi maka ba. Da zai zo maka da sauki kuma ya karye cikin sauki kuma ba zai jaka ga aikata abinda ka aikata ba. Dan haka matsalar ka ce ni babi abinda ya shafe ni"

Na mike tsaye shima ya mike "Jidda" na nuna masa waje "ka fita ko ni in fita" ya rike hijab dina "Jidda wallahi ban san nayi ba" na warce hijab dina "matsalar ka ce kuma wannan. Ni dai na gaya maka na gama auren ka. Ko ka bani takarda ta ko a karbar min" na juya na bar dakin cikin zafin zuciya, a bakin kofa na tsaya na juyo ina kallon sa "and stop crying it will not work this time. You look ridiculous" 

Kuka nake so inyi, amma in na zauna a falo Yasmin zata saka ni a gaba da tambaya, kuma gashi yana dakina ni kuma ba zan shiga nasa ba, sai na tafi dakin su na rufe kofa na zauna nayi abina mai isata, duk da dai bana jin kuka yana isa ta. I kept asking myself why? Why is this happening to me? Me nayi wa Hajiya da zata kulla min wannan kullin da banajin zan iya warware wa? Bana jin zan iya daina picturing Umar tare da Mammy a zuciyata kuma bana jin zan iya cigaba da muamalar auratayya dashi in dai har akwai wadannan images din a zuciyata. I mean, dama ya saba, mun saba yin cases din mata da shi har zuwa kan Maryam but this is different. Mammy ƴata ce, ko ma menene uwarta da kakarta suka shirya still jini na ce ita. Bana jin zan iya cigaba da muamalar auratayya da Umar Kamar yadda bana jin zan iya cigaba da ganin darajar sa, daraja irin wadda ya kamata mata take gani ta mijin ta. Shin in babu wadannan jigajigan jigogin auren ta yaya zan nemi aljanna ta? Menene amfanin auren kenan? Menene zan cinta a cikin auren?

Sai naji babu abinda nake nema irin rabuwa da Umar, babu abinda zai farantamin a lokacin irin Umar yazo ya miko min takarda ta. Amma ta yaya zan samu haka? Umar bashi da niyyar saki na, bana jin zan samu wannan takardar easily daga hannunsa. Kuma without it I can't go home, dan ina zuwa wallahi Abba koro ni zaiyi, ko da ya tsaya ya saurare ni ma ba zai yarda da duk abinda nace ba tunda bani da shaida, shaidar da nake da ita kuma I can't show it saboda kare martabar yayana.

Me zanyi kenan?????

Wannan ita ce tambayar da na kwana ina yiwa kaina. Bayan sallar assuba ina zaune akan sallaya ina azkar naji shigowar sako wayata. Na dauka sai naga message ne daga Umar. Babu irin addu'ar da ban karanto ba akan Allah yasa saki na yayi, sannan na bude, amma sai naga sako kamar haka.

Baby Dove.

Na rubuta wannan sakon ya kai kamar sau goma ina gogewa saboda na rasa kalaman da zan hada gurin yi miki magana, kamar yadda jiya na wuni cikin kuncin zuciya ina jera kalaman da zan gaya miki amma idona yana sauka akan ki sai kalmomin suka gudu suka barni da konanniyar zuciyata. 

I never meant to hurt you, but I did, more than yadda ni kaina zan iya kwatanta wa. Sanda na fara ganin ki, sanda na fara sanki, na saka a raina cewa I will treat you right, I will never let tear run from your eyes, amma tunda kika aure ni kika bani amanar kanki babu abinda nayi sai saka ki kukan, babu abinda nayi sai bakanta miki da dagargaza zuciyar da kika dauka kika bani.

I am selfish, evil, mean, rude, a am every bad word you can think of. And definitely, I am a bad husband. 

Ke kuma you have never been anything but good to me. You truly don't deserve me.

Kamar yadda na fada miki, Wallahi, wallahi Jiddah wannan abin da ya faru ba son raina bane ba, ko menene ma nayi, duk da ba zan iya tuna sanda nayi shi ba, ba da niyya nayi ba. Wallahi ba ina sane nayi ba. Sai dai Kamar yadda kika fada haka ne, halina shine ya jawo wannan abin ya faru. Amma ki sani, tun da nake a duniya, tunda nake aikata laifukan irin wannan ko wadansu daban, ban taba jin nadama irin wadda nake ji a yanzu ba. 

Hauwa'u bana jin ko da zai kasance ni da wata mace ce wadda ba mata ta ba mu kadai muka rage a duniya zan iya neman ta. Insha Allah Jidda ba zan sake kusantar zina ba. Ba zan sake ba. Har abada. Insha Allah. 

Nasan kina yi min addu'a, dan Allah ki ci gaba, nasan kina iyakacin kokarin ki a kaina, dan Allah kici gaba. Amma dan Allah kar ki ce zaki rabu dani. Not now, not ever. Kar ki ce zaki guje ni after all what we went through together. Kar ki ce zaki barni a lokacin da muke gab da rufe wannan babin. 

Dan Allah, ba dan ni ba, ba dan ke ba, ba ma kuma dan Asad da Yasmin ba. Dan Allah, kiyi hakuri.

Ga masu son siya zasu iya turo kudin su #300 zuwa wannan account din

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*wannan littafin na siyarwa ne bisa amana, idan baki siya ba kar ki karanta, idan kuma kin siya kar ki sharing, in kika yi kin ci amana kuma ke da Allah*

*Depressed*


Na rufe wayar nayi jifa da ita gefe sannan na cigaba da jan charbin da yake hannuna, sai bayan wani lokaci sannan nayi realising ban san me nake cewa a jan charbin da nake yi ba. Sai na ajiye shi na kife kaina a jikin gado nayi kukana na gode Allah. 

Wannan wacce irin jarabawa ce? Wannan wacce irin rayuwa ce? Anya kuwa akwai wadda take cikin irin halin da nake ciki? Akwai wadda ya taba shiga irin wannan halin kuwa kuma tayi surviving? Ta yaya tayi? Ina ma dai zan same ta data bani shawarar abin da zanyi dan ni ban san abinda zanyi ba.

Babu abinda nake so a lokacin irin Umar ya sake ni, Umar kuma bashi da niyyar saki na not now not ever kamar yadda ya fada, kuma ni ba zanje gida ba sai da takarda ta dan bana ko raba daya biyu in naje gida babu takardar saki kuma babu wata shaida da zata yi backing abinda zan fada Abba koro ni zaiyi ya dawo dani maybe ma kuma ya hada da yi min fada, shaidar kuma da nake da ita ba zan iya nuna wa ba not even to Farhan, abinda na sani kuma ba zan iya fada ba not even to Umma, dan wannan maganar in ta fito zata tarwatsa dan guntun zaman lafiya da yake gidan mu.

Dole I will find a way to get my divorce paper from Umar by myself. Amma how? Ban san me zanyi ba ballantana in san ta inda zan fara. Ina bukatar taimako, ina bukatar shawara, amma a gurin wa zan samu? Definitely not Aunty Afia ballantana gwoggo Habibah da har yanzu yar ta take gida a sanadin Umar, and not all my elder sisters da na tabbatar basa sona kuma nake kyautata zaton da hadin bakinsu aka karasa tarwatsa rayuwar aure na. 

In kuma nace a gurin kawaye zan nemi shawarar suma bani da wadda zan je gurin ta. Babbar kawata Mufida, wadda suke uwa daya uba daya da Umar, ko kuma Maryam da suka hada kai da Umar suka ci amana ta? Bayan su bani da wata kawa da muke zama one on one muyi magana ballantana har muyi irin wannan hirar.

Maganar Yasmin ta dawo dani daga tunani na "mommy yau babu school?" Na juyi ina kallon ta, ni na manta ma da cewa zata je school sai na kama hannun ta "akwai school Yasmin bara in tashi in shirya ki" 

Na wuce da ita toilet na yi mata brush, wanka tare da alwala sannan muka fito na saka mata uniform sannan tayi sallah sai muka fita daga dakin tare. 

A kitchen na jiyo motsinsa, na tsaya daga nesa Yasmin ta karasa da gudu "Daddy na" ya juyo ya tare ta sannan ya daga ta sama "Baby girl. Kin tashi? How are you?" Tayi murmushi "fine, thank you daddy" ya dauko lunchbox dinta "gashi nan na hada miki abinci, daddy's special" ta dan yi murna "Daddy yau kana magana sosai. I love you daddy" ya rungume ta "I love you too sweetheart" 

Na juya ba tare da nace musu komai ba na koma inda na fito, jimawa kadan ta shigo da gudu ta sunkuya tayi min kiss sannan ta juya da gudu ta fita tana cewa "mommy mun tafi" ban amsa mata ba sai mayar da idona da nayi na rufe. 

Basu jima da tafiya ba ya sake turo min da wani dogon sakon

To the heart that is hurting

Duk sanda nafara kokarin yi miki magana in kalmar sorry ta zo kaina sai inji kamar bata dace ba, it sound insulting, especially after abinda ni nayi miki, amma kuma ban san wadda zanyi amfani da ita ba bayan ita. From the deepest part of my heart, I am sorry. Dan Allah uwar yayana kiyi hakuri. 

From the weeping, repenting heart.

Har ma ajiye wayar na mayar da idona na rufe sai kuma na bude na dauki wayar ba yi masa reply.

"Idan har kasan ba sakon sauwake min kaddararren aurenka zaka aiko min ba, kar ka kuma aiko min da sako"

Haka ranar na wuni a daki ko ruwa ban iya ma saka a bakina ba, daga inyi kuka, sai in share hawaye na in zauna inyi ta saka ina warwarewa. Hanyar da zan rabu da auren Umar kadai nake nema a lokacin dan a gareni ina ganin rabuwar ita ce kadai mafita ta. Babu irin shawarar da ban bawa kaina ba, idan wata zuciyar tace min in je in dauki biro da takarda in kwaikwayi rubutun sa in rubuta wa kaina saki uku sannan in hada kayana in tafi, sai wata kuma tace min in dauki mota yanzu in je gidan su in zabga wa Mama mari in ce ta cika yar halak ta saka ya sake ni, sai kuma wata zuciyar ta ce min in dauko peyril din gen din mu in barbada a gidan in saka wuta, in bashi da gidan da zai ajiye ni dole ya barni in tafi gida, daga nan in ya gane ni ce na kona masa gida sai yaji haushi ya sake ni, wata kuma zuciyar ta ce in jira shi ya dawo in ambato sunan Baba da Mama, da duk wanda nasan yana holding dear to his heart in zaga, in yaji haushi ya sake ni.

Babu abinda ban lissafa ba, wasu abubuwan ma ba zan iya fadar su ba saboda munin su, duk a matsayin hanyar da zan raba kaina da auren Umar.

Ina nan kwance har ya na jiyo shigowar su shi da Yasmin, sai bayan sun shigo sannan na fahimci har da Asad. Yaran suka taho gurina da gudu suka fada jikina kowa yana kokarin bani labarin abubuwan da suka faru a yan awannin da bama tare, sai kuma suka fara fada a tsakanin su akan wanda zan fara saurara a tsakanin su, na kirkiri murmushi nayi musu sannan na sa suka yi taking turn one  by one kowa ya bani labarin da yake so a bani, na kuma basu amsar da zan iya basu sannan muka fito na fara nema musu abinda zan basu su ci.

Suna cikin ci ya shigo, daga alama daga masallaci yake sai ya zauna yana kallona, na juyo nima ina kallon sa nace "ka rubuta?" Yayi sauri ya kalli yara sannan ya juyo yana kallona, na sake cewa "in ka rubuta ka bani in kuma baka rubuta ba inje in dauko maka takarda da biro yanzu ka rubuta min" 

Ya girgiza kai yana kallon yaran da suka juyo suna kallon mu yace "Jidda please not now" nace "saboda me not now? Saboda kar yara suji? Matsalar ka kenan kar yaranka su ji? Kar su fahimci cewa they are living in a broken home? Ni kuma dan su nakeso in karasa tarwatsa perfectly painted home din naka dan shine mafi alkhairi a gare su akan su tashi tare da uba irin ka. Gwara su san halin da suke ciki tun yanzu yadda duk ranar da suka bude daki suka ganka akan mace zuciyar su ba zata buga ba tunda sun san halin ka already. Sun san....." 

Ya mike da sauri sannan ya kama hannuna ya fara jana ciki, na fara tirjewa ina dukan hannun nasa "ka cika ninka barni in gaya musu, ka barni in gaya musu cew kayi lalata da cousin din su" 

Muna shiga corridor ya tura kofa "innalillahi wa inna ilaihir rajiun. Jidda menene ya same ki ne?" Nace "menene ya same ni? Menene ya same ni fa kace? Hauka nake yi, ciwon hauka ne ya same ni dan Allah ka sake ni tunda ba zaka iya zama da mahaukaciya ba. Kuma yaran ka sai na gaya musu, sai na gaya musu dan su fara takatsantsan da kai kar wata rana mu wayi gari ka danne Yasmin....." 

Ya toshe bakina da hannunsa tare da daka min tsawa "Jidda!" Na bude ido tare da ture hannun nasa "what? Kana tunanin zanyi mamaki ne in na ganka akan Yasmin? Ko kadan ba zanyi mamaki ba saboda nasan ka wuce haka, zaka iya aikata abinda yafi haka, tunda har ka iya hawa kan Mammy, yarinyar da take a matsayin ƴa a gare ni dan haka a matsayin ƴa a gare ka, kuma ka iya yin sanadiyyar lalacewar Ummi, yarinyar da take a matsayin kanwa a gare ka, bana jin kuma duk wata mace da take da rami a tsakanin kafafuwanta is safe around you, dan haka gwara in dauke ya ta tun kafin ka lalata ta itama" 

Fuskarsa tayi jajawur, I was sure babu abinda yake so a lokacin irin ya dake ni amma sai ya sake ni ya shige dakin sa, na bishi a baya da sauri na shiga tun kafin ya rufe kofa. "What? Ba zaka yi magana ba, ba zaka dake ni ba? So nake ka dake ni dan Allah, so nake ka bani hujjar da zanyi amfani da ita gurin rabuwa da kai, dan bani da wani sauran dalilin cigaba da zama da kai, babu abinda nake so irin rabuwa da kai......" 

Ya juyo da sauri sai kuma na fara ja da baya har na hadu da bango sai ya tsaya a kusa dani. "In zaki rabu dani, ba yanzu ne lokacin da ya kamata ki dage sai kin rabu dani ba, ba akan wannan case din ya kamata ki rabu dani ba. In zaki rabu dani, kamata yayi ki rabu dani akan laifin da na san na aikata, akan laifin da nayi intentionally ba wanda ni kaina mai laifin van tabbatar da cewa nayi ba, dan ban san sanda nayi ba, ba kuma zan iya tuna lokacin da nayi ba, just a bunch of messages ba zasu tabbatar min da cewa nayi ba....."

Nace "nina tabbatar. Na kai yarinyar asibiti an duba min ita kuma an tabbatar min an shige ta" naga yanayin sa ya chanja completely dan calmness din da yake keeping ya tarwatse da karfi yace "kuma sai aka tabbatar miki da cewa ni ne?" Nace "sai na tambayi yarinyar ita kuma ta tabbatar min da cewa kaine" ya fara ja da baya, sannan ya dora hannunsa daya aka ya juya ya kifa fuskarsa a jikin bangon dakin, na matsa kusa da shi a hankali nace "ka bani takarda ta kawai shine solution, ni ba zan iya cigaba da zama da kai ba Allah ma ya gani. Ma sauwake min sai ka auri wata, ko Mammy din ce ko Maryam ko kuma yaya Jamila tunda tana nan har yau dattin abinda kuka yi yana bin ta ta kasa samun miji, ka sake ni ka samu dai dai da kai nima in je in samu dai dai dani" 

Ya juyo yana kallona da idanuwan sa da suka kada suka yi jawur yace "I can't, and I will never" sai kuma ya kama hannu na yace "ba zan iya sakin matata da nake so ba bayan baya yi min komai ba, bazan iya sakin ki ba akan laifin da bansan ma sanda na aikata shi ba" ya saki hannun ya rike fuskata, idonsa taf da hawaye "Jidda ina son ki, fiye da yadda nake son kaina. Wallahi ba zan taba iya hurting dinki intentionally ba, ke ma kanki kinsan ba zan iya ba, wannan kadai ya kamata ya tabbatar miki da cewa ba'a cikin hayyacina na aikata abin nan ba, in ma na aikata kenan. Dan Allah Jidda kiyi hakuri, in kika ce zaki barni rayuwata zata karasa tarwatse wa, ki taimaka min ki kara min wata damar albarkacin dan guntun so na da yake zuciyarki a yanzu. Albarkacin yayan da Allah ya bayar a tsakanin mu. Albarkacin matsananciyar soyayyar da nake miki" 

Ban san kuka nake yi ba sai da naga hawayena suna zuba a hannunsa, sai ya saka fuskar sa a wuyana sannan ya zagaye ni da hannayensa. Na fara kokawar kwacewa amma yaki cika ni har sai da karfi na ya kare na hakura, sai da shima da kansa ya gaji ya hakura sannan ya sake ni ya koma ya zauna a bakin gado tare da dafe kansa da hannunsa, na karasa gaban sa na tsaya, har lokacin kukan nake sannan nace "soyayya, in dai irin wadda kake yi min ne Allah ya tsine mata albarka"

Sai kuma na juya na fita na shiga dakina na rufe kofa. Naji bana son ganin kowa bana son jin maganar kowa, na kwanta kawai na lulluba da bargo duk da cewa ba sanyi nake ji ba amma naji bargon zai ƙaramin security ne kawai. Har dare ina haka, sallah kawai na tashi nayi na koma na kwanta, Umar yayi ta shigowa dakin, ina jin sa har gadon ya hau ya taba jikina sannan ya fita, daga baya yara suka shigo sai ya dawo yazo ya janye su yace kar su dame ni, daga baya naji sun fita a mota sai kuma suka dawo. Sai gashi ya kawo min abinci wai in tashi in ci, sai dana yi threatening dinsa nace in bai fita ya bani guri ba zan juye masa abincin a jiki sannan ya fita. 

A lokacin kawai shawara nake nema. So nake in samu wanda zai ce min ga abinda ya kamata kiyi, someone da zai dora ni akan hanyar da zata bulle. And I decided to do something that I shouldn't have done, something that thought me a great lesson in life kuma nake fatan yan bayana ma zasu dauki darasi daga gare ni. 

I went to one of the famous blogs a social media, inda naga mutane masu problems suna zuwa su fada a sirrance ba tare da ansan su waye ba sai kuma a basu shawarar yadda zasu warware matsalolin su, I thought nima bara in gwada ko Allah zai sa in samu wadda ta taba shiga irin matsala ta kuma ta samu hanyar warwarewa nima ta gaya min yadda zanyi. 

Na shiga inbox din admin din na rubuta mata labari na in brief, matsalar Umar, yadda yanayin iyaye na suke da kuma yadda muka yi da nasa iyayen, Sai kuma na basu labarin abubuwan da suka yi ta faruwa tun auren mu har zuwa case din Mammy na yanzu. Ma tura tare da rokon tayi hiding sunana kamar yadda naga anayi.

Sai da safe bayan na sallami Yasmin sannan na koma daki na na dauki waya ta ina dubawa hoping ko anyi posting sakona, and I saw it posted, da kuma tarin comments under it. Na shiga na karanta comments din duk da suna da dumbin yawa amma sai da na karanta su tun daga farko har karshe. And about 80% na comments din zagi ne da cin mutumci gare ni da iyayena, da Umar da iyayensa. Wata ma direct ta kira ni da "jaka" wata tace min kwakwalwar kifi ce dani, wadansu sunce kwadayin kudin Umar ne ya saka nake zaune dashi saboda gidan mu babu ac, wadansu kuma suka yi min fatan ganin ranar da Umar zai haike wa Yasmin wai a ranar ne zan san abinda zanyi tunda yanzu nace ba sani ba. Wadansu kuma suka kare dukkan tsinuwar su akan Umar

Few ne suka yi min magana mai dadi, da yawa daga cikin su suka bani hakuri suka ce inyi ta addu'a komai zai zo karshe. 

Abinda naje nema a gurin mutane a lokacin shine shawara, shawarar yadda zanyi solving problem din zamana da Umar ba tare da na bata sunansa ko nawa ko na yayana ba. Tabbas nasan Umar yana da laifi, kuma nasam iyayensa suma da laifi, na kuma san nawa iyayen suna da laifi dan dalilin yanayin sune ma ya saka har naje social media neman shawara ban je gurin su ba su da ya kamata ace sune na farko da zan fara fadawa matsala ta, kuma nasan nima ina da laifi dan Dan Adam tara yake bai cika goma ba ko waye shi kuwa. Dan haka ba laifuffukan mu naje media dan a gaya min ba, na riga na sani, ba kuma zuwa nayi dan a tsine wa mijina kuma uban yayana ba, sannan ba zuwa nayi dan a zage ni ayi making dina feel like dukkan abinda yake faruwa laifi na bane ba. Shawara naje nema daga gurin yanuwana mata wadanda kullum suke cewa ai ciwon ya mace na ya mace ne, but I saw and felt different.

Ranar cin mutuncin da na gani a social media ban taba ganin irinsa ba a dukkan rayuwata. I felt bad, very bad har sai da naji na tsani kaina. I felt tun daga auren Umar har zuwa yanzu duk abinda suka faru laifina ne, naji na tsani kaina, na tsani Umar, na tsani kowa na tsani komai, naji na tsani rayuwata. And I stopped crying and spent the entire day a cikin daki in bed. I became depressed.

Abinda na fara yi daga farko shine na daina kuka, na daina fita daga daki na daina shara da gyaran gida na waina wanka. Farko Umar ya fara kyaleni, in ya shigo yayi ta yi min magana na rabu da shi sai ya kyaleni ya fita kuma ya fitar da yara, daga baya sai ya fara damuwa, sai yazi ya takuwa min yayi ta nemana da fada ma dan muyi amma ko kallon shi ba zanyi ba. Sai ya debo yayan mu ya kawo min suyi ta hawa jikina suna min hira amma suma ko kula su ba zanyi ba, daga baya sai in rufe kofata ma in kuma rufe taga in saki labule kuma in kashe fitila in kwanta in lulluba, amma da zaka bude rufar zaka ganni a kwance ne idona a bude ba wai bacci nake yi ba. 

Sai Umar ya dauke key din kofar, ya lalata lock din yadda dole bana iya rufe kofar. A cikin wannan lokacin bana jin Umar yana zuwa aiki, he took over taking care of the house and the kids and me, shi zai shirya Yasmin ya kaita school a lokacin da nake kwance, yayi wa Asad wanka ya shirya shi yayi breakfast ya kuma zo ya matsa min lallai sai naci. Da rana zai fita ya siyo abinci sannan ya dauko Yasmin yazo yayi mata homework.

Gaba ki daya suka tattaro suka dawo dakina, anan suke wuni suna wasa su ci abinci suyi kallo duk anan amma ko kallo basu ishe ni ba ballantana in shiga cikin maganar su. Umar har hausa novels da yaga ina karantawa yake samowa yazo ya zauna da daddare in yara sunyi bacci yayi ta karanta min yana dariya shi kadai in anyi abin dariya. Da assuba kuma zai dauko Alqur'ani guda biyu ya bani daya ya rike daya yace wai inyi masa dori, farko shima share shi nake yi, sai yake rabuwa da ni yayi karatun sa shi kadai, daga baya sai na fara bin sa muna yi tare.

A hankali kuma sai nazo na dawo ina magana, zanyi magana da yara shima in yayi min magana zan amsa amma babu alamar walwala a tare dani. And it went on for weeks. 

A haka har akayi wa yara hutu, wata rana ina kwance a daki kamar yadda na saba sai gashi ya shigo tare da yara gabaki daya suka hawo gadon suna ta murna, ya kama ni ya tashe ni zaune daga kwancen da nake yace "look, i have some news that will cheer you up" na bishi da kallo kawai ban ce komai ba sai Asad da Yasmin suka miko min wani dan abu mai kama da littafi da yake hannayensu, na karba ina dubawa, a raina ina hoping takardar saki na ce ya saka a cikin abin, sai naga passport ne da sunayen su a jiki, na juya ina kallon sa sai yayi murmushi, "we are going to pay a visit to auncle Muhammad. We are going to Ethiopia" 

Na sunkuyar da kaina ina kallon passports din hannuna, ya matso tare da rike hannuna a cikin nasa "common Jidda at least smile mana, ni da yara duk muna ta murna at least kema ki danyi murna mana, you were so happy lokacin da suka zo I thought ganin su yanzu will make you happy. Ina son ne in samu amincewar ki sai inje inyi mana visa gabakidaya, zan kai ku can sai in dawo, kuyi holidays acan ku huta ku ji dadi" 

Nayi shiru ina kallon sa ina jujjuya takardun a hannu na, ya shafa gefen fuskata "please smile and say yes" sai kuma ya juya yana kallon Yasmin "Yasmin ki roki mommy ta ce yes sai muje mu shiga jirgi" Yasmin ta hau jikina "mommy say yes please" Asad ya taho ya rike hannuna shima da maganar sa da bata gama nuna ba yace "ce yech" na danyi murmushi, the first in weeks, sannan na shafa kan yara na na kalli Umar nace "okay, yes zamu je".

Wannan ma is another thing na Umar da ba zan manta da shi ba, shi yayi uniting dina da lost family na, shi ya kaini dangin Umma har gidan auncle Muhammad muka je sannan ya juyo ya bar mu a can. A lokacin ina ta tunanin ina ma ya samu kudin daya shirya mana tafiyar nan sai daga baya na fahimci motarsa da yake hawa ya siyar yake using tawa.

Ba karamin murna yan uwana suka yi ba da suka ganni, ba kuma karamin murna Umma tayi ba da taji labarin tafiyar mu har sai da tayi hawayen dadi "in Allah ya rage ka ta wani bangaren sai kuma ya faranta maka ta wani, tunda ni Allah ya hadani da mijin da ya raba ni da dangina ke kuma sai Allah ya hada ki da wanda zai sada ki da su. Allah ya saka masa da alkhairi".

A can ma haka suka yi ta cewa, tunda babana ya hana babata zuwa ni gashi nan mijina dan albarka ya kawo ni da kansa. Suna ta yaba masa shi kuma yana ta yi musu ladabi da biyayya. A kwana biyun da yayi kafin ya juyo ya siye zuciyarsu gabakidaya. 

Satin mu hudu acan, a cikin sati hudun nan kullum babu fashi sai Umar ya turo min da sakon ban hakuri ta WhatsApp safe da dare babu fashi, kuma kullum sai ya kira wayar Layla yace ta bani amma sai in ki karba in bawa yayansa suyi ta hirar su, har Maman su Layla ta lura ta saka ni gaba da nasiha wai in nayi wasa wasu matan zasu zo su kwace min miji, ta saka ni a gaba tana koya min wai tips din mallakar miji babu boka babu malam, ni kuma na zauna ina sauraron ta ba tare dana fahimci komai ba dan last abu da nake son yi a lokacin shine mallakar Umar. 

Naji dadin tafiyar mu sosai kuma na fahimci dalilin da yasa Umar ya shirya mana ita, zuciyata ta rissina, har sai gani ina hira sosai ima dariya a cikin yan'uwa na, wani lokacin ma in ba message dinsa ne ya shigo ba sai in ma manta dashi da problems dinsa. 
Sai da lokacin dawowa yayi Umar ya aiko wa da auncle Muhammad return tickets din mu sannan hankalina ya tashi, ba wai Nigeria din ce bana son komawa ba gidan Umar ne bana son komawa. 

Amma haka suka tattaro mu, tare da goma ta arziki suka sako mu a jirgi muka dawo. Umar ne yaje dauko mu a airport, dashi da yaya Tahir da Amira. Har da sabon dinki naga yayi da sabuwar hula. Su Yasmin suka tafi gurinsa da gudu suna murna, ya rungume su daya bayan daya briefly sannan ya wuce su ya taho inda nake tahowa ya karbe jakar hannuna ya ajiye a gefe sannan ya rungume ni, without minding su Yaya Tahir da kuma tarin mutanen da suke gurin. Ya sauke ajjiyar zuciya "God! I missed you" ban ce komai ba har ya sake ni sai na wuce shi na tafi gurin su Amira ina murnar ganin su.

Gidan mu muka tafi, Umma tana can tayi shirin taryar mu bakinta har kunne, ranar wuni mukayi ina ta bata labarurrukan garin su da bata taba zuwa ba ina kuma nuna mata hotunan dana dauka tare da cousins dinta da yayansu, most of which bata sani bama. Naje na gaishe da Abba ya amsa min yana ta cin magani, na kuma fahimci a dalilin tafiyar da nayi ne dan tun kafin inyi ta ya nuna baya so, ina saukowa Umma tace in je in gaishe da Hajiya sai na fita na danyi shawagi na dawo nace naje, dama Farhan bata gidan wai taje gidan yaya Hudallah.

Tun da na shiga gidan ban kuma bi ta kan Umar ba, ban sani ba ko ya tafi ko yana nan oho, na dai ji Umma tana aiken a kai masa abinci da lemo, har akayi magrib akayi isha sai ga Abba ya shigo daga masallaci "Hauwa? Jidda kina ina?" Na mike daga kan sallayar da nayi sallah ina dafe kaina, nasan tawa ta same ni, "Jidda ta zama kurma ne ko kuma bebiya ta koma?" Na daga labule "gani Abba, ina sal......" 

Bai tsaya jin karshen maganar ba ya fara fada "iskancin banza iskancin wofi, dan Allah ya hada ki da miji mai hakuri sai ki mayar da shi sakarai? Jidda anya kina son ki shiga aljanna kuwa? Mutumin da aljannar ki take karkashin kafarsa shine kike wulakanta wa? Kin bar yaron nan yana ta zarya yaje ya dawo yaje ya dawo amma ba zaki fito ku tafi ba? Na rasa munafurcin me kuke yi ke da uwar taki a daki, dama ni wannan tafiyar taki ban so taba dan daga haka zaki fara kokarin fin karfin mutane"

Yayi tayi babu comma babu fullstop, sai ga Hajiya ta fito daga dakin ta "sai hakuri Alhaji, yaran zamani sam basu san darajar aure ba musamman in sun samu miji mai sakar musu, kuma suna ganin sun yi karatu sai su ga kamar sunfi karfin suyi biyayya ga miji ballantana iyaye" 

Sai ya kama benen sa ya fara hawa yana cigaba da fadan sa, ita kuma tana daga kasa tana taya shi, na juya ina kallon ta, ban san sanda zuciya ta debe ni ba nayi kanta kamar zan rufe ta da duka, Umma tayi sauri ta rike ni tana salati "innalillahi wa inna ilaihir rajiun, Jidda lafiyar ki? Me kike yi haka?" Hajiyan ta shige daki da sauri ta rufe kofa. Sai kawai na kife kaina a jikin Umma na fara kuka. Ta janye ni daga jikinta "ki fita maza ku tafi kar Baban ki ya jiyo ki, maza dauko mayafin ki ku tafi" na sake ta na shige daki na yayo mayafi na na dora akai ba tare dana lura ko dai dai na saka ko akasin haka ba, Amira ta dauko Asad da yake bacci ta jawo hannun Yasmin suka biyo ni a baya. 

Yana mota ya dan kwantar da kujerar ya kwanta ya dora hularsa akan fuskar sa. Na bude gaba ya saka yara a ciki sannan na bude baya na shiga. Ina jin Amira tana yi min sallama amma ko ta kanta ban bi ba. Ya bude fuskar sa sannan ya juyo yana kallona "kun fito ashe, nazo kuma sai nayi tunanin baku gama ba sai na zauna a mota, don't want to rush you" naji wani haushin sa ya kara cika min ciki, always pretending to be the perfect husband. 

Ya tayar da motar, I was half expecting him yace min in dawo gaba amma bai fada ba sai ya ja muka bar layin, muna hawa titi nace "gidan yaya Tahir zaka kaini" ya juyo da sauri "what? Common Jidda" na dauke kaina gefe tare da sake maimaita wa "gidan Yaya Tahir zaka kaini, ko kuma ka ajiye ni anan in hau adaidaita in tafi, your choice" 

Ya sauka daga kan titin ya juyo sosai "Jidda please, ba mun gama maganar nan bane ba wai" na daga idona na saka a cikin nasa, "ka gama dai, amma ni ban gama ba dan ko farawa ban yi ba, ranar da zan gama ita ce ranar da zaka bani takarda ta"

Muka zauna muna kallon juna sai ya cire idonsa daga cikin nawa ya dafe kai da hannu daya sannan yace "okay. Gidan Tahir kike son zuwa? Let's go to gidan Tahir" 

Can muka tafi, luckily muka same shi a gida tare da amaryar sa da take ta faman laulayin ciki. Tayi ta mitar wai ban gaya mata zamu zo ba bata tanadar mana komai ba. Na danyi mata murmushi kawai. Ina zama naga Yaya Tahir ya dauki waya sai kuma ya fita waje, ya jima a wajen sai gashi ya dawo tare da Umar sai yace matar ta dauki yara na su shiga ciki, sannan shi kuma ya fara magana

"Jidda Doctor Umar yace min kun su matsala, yace yayi miki laifi a bisa rashin sani kuma ya baki hakuri amma kin ki hakura. Haka ne?" 

Na dago kai nace "ya gaya maka abinda yayi?" Ya girgiza kai "bai gaya min ba, amma yace bada sanin sa ne yayi laifin ba. Haka ne?" Na daga kai ina kallon Umar nace "ban sani ba Yaya, ban tabbatar ko yana sane yayi ba ko kuma baya sane, abinda na sani shine ba wannan ne karo na farko daya aikata the same abu ba, ba na daya bane ba ba kuma na biyu bane ba, kuma daga dukkan alama bana jin zai zama na karshe" 

Ya juya yana kallon Umar sai Umar yace "haka ne. Na kuma dauki responsibility na dukkan laifina, da wadanda nayi ina sane, da wannan da nayi cikin rashin sani, duk na dauka naji na amince cewa nayi ba dai dai ba. Sannan kuma na bata hakuri. Nace dan Allah, dan Annabi tayi hakuri, sannan kuma nayi alkawari ga ubangiji, gare ta sannan kuma yanzu a gurin ka a matsayin shaida cewa wannan shine na karshe. Dama kawai nake so ka rokar min ita ta sake bani ta karshe. Idan har abu makamancin wannan ya sake faruwa nayi alkawarin duk hukuncin data yanke zan karba ko da kuwa wanne iri ne, kuma...." 

Nace "yaya wannan alkawarin nasa ba na daya bane ba ba kuma na biyu bane ba, in yayi ma karyawa yake yi kuma bana jin wannan karon ma zai cika shi, dan Allah yaya ka shiga maganar nan....." Yace "na shiga ai Jidda, ba gani ba ina cikin maganar? Kuma yanzu alkawarin da yayi yayi shi ne a gaba na dan haka na zama shaida, idan ya karya all you have to do is tell me ni kuma zan dauko maganar mu sake bude ta mu gani, zan tuna masa da alkawarin da yayi na cewa zaki yanke masa dukkan hukuncin da kika ga dama and I will make sure he keeps his promise" ya karasa yana kallon Umar da alamar warning a muryarsa, sannan ya kuma juyo wa kaina yace "amma for now, kin ga na farko Doctor ba sa'an ki bane ba gaba yake da ni kaina ba ke ba, na biyu kuma mijin ki ne, mijin da Annabi yace da za'a iya saka wata halitta tayi wa wata halitta sujjada da ance mata tayi wa mijinta sujjada karewar biyayya kenan, amma kuma duk da wannan daukaka da yake da ita sai ya baki hakuri yace dan Allah dan Annabi kiyi hakuri, to me yasa ke kuma ba zaki hakura ba? Me yasa ba zaki sake bashi dama ba kamar yadda ya nema?" 

"Nima kuma ina baki hakuri on his behalf, kiyi hakuri, amma kuma ki saka a ranki cewa wannan shine na karshe, ni kuma in kika yi min biyayya zan tabbatar miki da hakan" 

Na share hawaye na da bayan hannuna sannan na ja hanci nace "shikenan yaya, na hakura, amma wallahi wallahi ya sani, idan maganar nan ta sake maimaita kanta wallahi na gama aurensa" na fada ina kallon Umar cikin ido. 

A hanya babu wanda yace komai a tsakanin mu har muka je gida, yana yin packing na fito na dauki Asad na shigar da shi ciki na kwantar dashi a daki, ina fitowa shi kuma yana siga da Yasmin, yayi min murmushi na dauke kaina na wuce shi na koma waje na fito da kayan mu wadanda tun daga airport suke cikin booth, sai ga shi ya dawo ya dauki jaka daya ya miko min hannu zai karbi dayar "ki barsu zan shiga dasu" na wuce ban bashi ba kuma ban ce komai ba. 

Ina shiga kayana na cire kawai na shiga wanka, ina fitowa na fara shirin bacci sai gashi nan ya shigo da kayan bacci a jikinsa shima ya tsaya yana kallona "ki taho dakina" ya fara yana kallona ta mirror, ban ce masa komai ba har na karasa shiryawa ta a gabansa na saka kayan bacci na sannan nazo na wuce shi na shiga dakin nasa na gau gado na kwanta tare da lulluba, ya shigo shima ya sake tsayawa a bakin kofa, sai na yaye bargon irin yadda yake yi nace "kazo kayi abinda zakayi and then leave me alone" 

Sai naga yayi murmushi, sannan kuma sai yayi dariya yana girgiza kai, "Jidda kenan. You think wannan ne dalilin da yasa na ce ba zan rabu da ke ba?" Na dauke kai sai ya zauna a bakin gadon yace "nace ba zan sake ki bane ba saboda ke matata ce uwar yayana kuma ina son ki, and I am not going to give up my family for a mistake din da ban san ma nayi shi ba, yes, abinda kike magana akai shima ina son sa, but I am not going to do it har sai lokacin da ke da kanki kika ce min kina so" na bude ido ina kallon sa "lallai kuwa zaka shirya jira har zuwa ranar da jaki zai fitar da kaho" yayi dariya sannan ya kashe fitila ya hawo gadon "it is going to be sooner than you think" 

Ina jin sa ya shigo cikin bargon sannan ya matso jikina, na janye jikina daga gare shi na sauka na dauko wani abin rufar, sai na tattara bargon na saka a tsakiyar mu sannan na lulluba da wancan abin. Sai naji yayi chuckling sannan yace "goodnight".

Ga masu son siya zasu iya turo kudin su #300 zuwa wannan account din

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*wannan littafin na siyarwa ne bisa amana, idan baki siya ba kar ki karanta, idan kuma kin siya kar kiyi sharing, in kika yi kinci amana kuma ke da Allah*

*Asabe*

Kwanaki suka wuce bayan dawowa ta gidan Umar, na cigaba da harkoki na na cigaba da kula da gida na da kuma ƴaƴana, shima Umar din kuma ba wai share shi nake yi ba kawai dai baya gaba na. Zan dafa masa abinci zan gyara masa dakin sa zan kuma bashi dukkan kulawa, un kuma yayi min magana zan amsa masa in ya saka ni abu zanyi, amma murmushi na bai kuma ganinsa ba a cikin kwanakin nan, duk kuwa labarin da zai zauna yayi ta bani sai dai kawai in zauna in jishi but I found his jokes not funny at all, sannan a gado ma bana kin zuwa dakin sa, kullum can nake kwana amma zan tabbatar na saka barrier a tsakanin mu kuma zan juya masa baya, watarana ma kaina nake mayarwa kusa da kafafuwansa inyi kwanciya ta. Sai dai na kan farka mostly cikin dare in ganni rashe rashe a jikinsa, in yaga na farka yakan yi korafin wai ni na taso na dawo jikinsa, duk da ni na tabbatar shine yake cire barrier din dana je sakawa ya dawo jikina.  But bana kula shi, nasan neman magana yake yi, in na ga haka sai in tashi in gyara inyi kamar ban san me yake yi ba. 

A cikin wadannan kwanakin sai na fahimci wani abu, Umar ya chanja, baya bukatar in tuna masa lokacin sallah dan har wani application naga ya saka a wayar sa wanda yake alerting dinsa duk lokacin da lokacin sallah ya shigo, kuma yana kadawa yake  ajiye duk abinda yake yi yayi alwala ya fita jam'i, sai na fara saka ran cewa a office ma haka yake yi. 

Sai kuma ya dawo da karatun da yake cewa muyi kafin tafiyar mu Ethiopia, in ya dawo daga masallaci sai muyi karatu tare kafin gari ya karasa wayewa, a wannan karatun na fahimci yasan Alqur'ani, duk da yakan yi mistakes in gyara masa ko kuma wani lokacin inyi mistake ya gyara min. Wannan karatun shi ya kara bringing us closer together, I felt at peace a duk lokacin da muke yi dan haka duk wani zafi dana dauko da wasu maganganu da na gama shiryawa cewa zan yaba masa sai inji sun narke tare da zuciyata. I started thinking maybe this is it. I kept reminding myself cewa case din Mammy asiri aka yi masa dan nice babbar shaidar hakan, maybe da a cikin hayyacin sa yake da ba zaiyi ba, maybe abin yafaru ne dan ya zamanto sanadiyyar shiryuwar Umar, maybe da gaske yayi deserving another chance from me, a last chance. 

Wannan plus kyautatawar sa gare ni  ya cigaba da sauko da zuciyata, na cigaba da rangwanta masa har ya kai muna zama muyi hira dariya kamar yadda muke yi a da, gado ne dai lamarin ya gagara, duk kuwa da cewa yana fadi yana kuma kara fadi a messages din da har lokacin yake turo min kusan kullum cewa shi bai ma tabbatar yayi ba, kuma ko yayi din shi ba zai iya tunawa da lokacin da yayi ba, but to me na kasa cire abin a raina, na kasa daina picturing dinsa a gado tare da yar yayata. A duk lokacin da nayi irin wannan tunanin na kan ji raina ya baci sosai, na kan ji bazan iya kuma muamalar aure da Umar ba, amma da zarar yazo da kalaman sa da kyautatawar sa sai inji maybe zan iya, with time. 

Tun Umar yana hakuri yana nuna kamar bai damu da rashin bashi kulawa a shimfida da nake yi ba har hakurin sa ya gaza, ya fara zama frustrated kamar yadda yakan zama a duk lokacin da muka samu sabani irin wannan har nayi masa fushi irin wannan. Ya zama very edgy, shi kadai ma fada yake yi ko da ba'a taba shi ba, yayi wa yara fada yayi min fada yayi wa maigadi fada, ranar nan ma remote din TV yayi jifa dashi wai yaki dannuwa. In yana haka sai dai kawai in kalle shi in tabe baki amma bana kula shi dan nasan abinda yake damunsa kuma ban damu ba tunda na bashi shi yace ya hakura har sai ranar da naji ina nema da kaina, ni kuwa banga wannan ranar ba, dan ni in dai wannan abin ne zan iya rayuwa ta babu shi.

Sai kuma ya tsiri ciwo, daga yau yace ciwon ciki yake yi sai gobe yace ciwon kai jibi kuma zazzabi. Ni kuma sai in mika masa paracetamol da ruwa duk da sarai na san me yake so. A haka watarana ya dawo daga office da rana wai baya jin dadi wai zazzaɓi yake yi. Nayi masa fatan Allah ya sawake sannan bayan ya shiga daki na bishi da paracetamol da ruwa, na tarar da shi ya cire kaya ya ware ac ya kuma tsayar da fanka a kansa sannan ya dunkule guri daya. Na tsaya ina kallon sa, sai na tuno da washegarin ranar da aka kawo ni gidan dana fito daga daki na same shi in exact situation like this. 

Na tsaya a gefe kansa "ka tashi ka sha magani" ya juyo ya kalle ni da jajayen idanuwa "go away" na tsaya ban tafi ba "ka tashi kasha magani in dai da gaske kake baka da lafiyar" ya sake juyowa yana kallona "in kuma ba da gaske nake ba fa?" Na bata rai "sai inyi tafiya ta in cigaba da aiki na, girki nake yi dama na dakatar dan in baka magani in kuma baka bukata ba shikenan ba".

Ya miko min hannun sa daya "bani maganin" na mika masa sai ya damki hannun nawa ya jawo ni na fado kansa, Allah yaso robar ruwan a rufe take da sai yayi mana wanka da ruwan. Na fara kokarin mikewa sai ya zagaye hannuna a waist dina ya matse ni a jikinsa "gotcha" na bata rai "ka sake ni Umar" yace "in naki fa?" Nace "sai in bar ka da Allah" yayi dariya "dama haka Allah yace mata ta ringa azabtar da mijin ta? Uhmm?" Na juya ido "azabar me nayi maka? Dukan ka nayi ko kuma wuta na dauko na saka maka a riga?" 

Ya fara kokarin juya ni ya mayar dani kasa "kin san abinda kike yi ai, kin san abinda nake so ai, ban san me kike so inyi ba, ban san ya kike so inyi da raina ba, kin san maganin ciwo na amma kin hana ni" nace "I thought zazzabi kace kana yi, ga magani kuma na kawo maka ka zubar. Sai menene kake so kuma?" 

Ya kara makalkale jikina kamar zai saka ni ciki "sai ke nake so, kin san ke nake so, ke ce maganin da zan sha in warke" na dauke kaina gefe zuciyata tana raya min ko haka yace da Mammy itama a lokacin da suke tare? 

Na fara kokarin ture shi. "Ka daga ni Malam, ai kayi alkawarin sai nace ina so da kaina tukunna, ni kuma yanzu bana so, kuma kayi alkawari" yace a hankali can cikin kunne na "na karya alkawarin to yanzu. I can't. I thought I can but I can't. Just say yes mana, menene abin wahala a ciki. Just say you want me. Just say you want this" na saka hannu na ture bakinsa daga kusa da kunne na nace "I don't want you and I don't want this" ya kara marairaice wa "to ni kuma fa? What will you have me do? A ina zan samu in ba gurin ki ba?" Nace "oho maka. Karin aure is an option da Allah ya baka nima kuma na jima da baka" yace "yes, and begging you is another option da nake da shi. So please, if you really don't want to say yes just don't say no please" 

Na rintse idona da karfi trying so hard not to picture him and Mammy together, a lokacin da ya hade bakinsa da nawa. 

Kwanaki da yawa bayan nan, lokacin na fara tura maganar bayan mind dina, na fara kokarin dawo mana da normal rayuwar mu duk da ni nasan a zuciyata ba zata taba dawowa normal ba, ranar nan muna gida gabakidayan mu, ina falo tare da yara Umar kuma yana daki yana bacci, sai muka yi baƙi, naji knocking din su na je na bude musu kofa sai naga  mata ne su uku, babbar mace guda daya da yammata biyu masu kama da juna, nayi musu maraba sannan na shigo da su ciki suka zauna muka gaisa ina ta binsu da kallon rashin fahimta sai babbar macen ta ce min "baki gane mu ba ko?" Na dan yi murmushi, feeling uncomfortable nace "gaskiya kam. Ban gane ku ba" sai tace "Faruq yana gida? Hajiya Mariya ce ta turo mu" (Mama) na fadada murmushi na nace "ohh okay. Yana nan. Bara a yi masa magana" sai na tashi naje dakin sa na tashe shi "baki ne suka zo, ina jin yan uwan Mama ne" ya yamutsa fuska kamar mai shirin yi min shagwaba. "Just attend to them please ni bacci nake yi" na ja kafarsa "wallahi ka tashi, ai naje gurin nasu amma suka ce in kira ka" ya janye kafar sa sannan ya matsa inda hannuna ba zai kai ba ya kuma dora pillow akan fuskarsa "tell them bana gida" na hawo kan gadon na haye samansa na dauke pillow din tare da dukansa da pillown a both sides dinsa "na gaya musu kana nan ai, so kake in zama makaryaciya? Ka tashi please kaga kar su ce anyi musu wulakanci" ya bude idon da yake cike da bacci yana bubbuga kafa, da gaske shagwaba yake min "ni wallahi bacci nake ji, ki ce musu bana jin dadi ko kice nayi disappearing" nayi dariya sannan nayi masa chakulkuli a sides dinsa "wallahi ba zan yi karya ba. Ka tashi ko kuma in je in ce musu kace ba zaka zo ba" 

Ya fara kokarin rike hannayena ni kuma na hana shi har sai da naga ya ware yanata kyalkyala dariya sannan na rabu dashi tare da sauka daga kan gadon da sauri dan nasan in ya kama ni sai ya rama kuma zamu bar baki suna jira. Nayi hanyar kofa da sauri na fita a lokacin da yake saukowa daga gadon, ina komawa na wuce kitchen na kawo musu drinks da doughnuts din da nayi jiya da dare, sai kuma na dauko fruits na yayyanka musu duk na hado muka kawo musu tare da Yasmin, na tarar yammatan sun dauki Asad yana ta musu surutu da gwarancin sa su kuma suna dariya. Matar tayi min godiya sai na samu guri na zauna.

Jimawa kadan Umar ya fito, ya saka kaya amma fuskarsa da alamar bacci a tare da ita, farko shima kamar bai gane su ba sai kuma naga yayi murmushi. "Yaya Amina? Dama kin san hanyar gidan nan?" Tayi dariya "Doctor Umar kenan, kai ma ai bana jin kasan hanyar gida na, rabon kada can tun kana zuwa zance" suka yi dariya tare yace "bayan kin hana ni kanwar taki" tace "bayan ka ki auren kanwata dai" suka kuma dariya sannan ya juyo yana kallona sannan yayi murmushi yace "baki san ta ba ko?" Na gyada kaina yace "yayar Hafsat ce, can nake zuwa zance gidan ta shine take yi min gori" na gyada kaina cikin  gamsuwa, na tuno Hafsat yarinyar da Mama taso hada su da Umar, second cousins suke da Umar din, so wannan matar ma second cousin dinsa ce kenan, su kuma yammatan maybe yayanta ne ko kuma suma kannen hafsan ne. 

Kamar mai amsa min tambayata sai naji yace "ba dai twins ne suka girma haka ba?" Suka kalli juna suka yi murmushi, ya bude baki cikin mamaki "seriously, sanda nake zuwa gidan basu fi Yasmin ba" babbar matar tayi dariya "a'a sun fi Yasmin mana, kai dai kawai ka manta. Gasu nan har sun shiga jami'a" 

Ya gyara zama "wow. Lallai tsufa ya kama ni ban sani ba" ya juyo min fuskar sa "taya ni dubawa ko akwai furfura"  yammatan suka yi dariya. 

Sai babbar matar tace "dama na kawo su makaranta ne, nan BUK suka samu, munje sunyi registration shine mukayi waya da hajiyan ku tace ai gidan ka babu nisa sosai, ita tayi mana kwatance tace mu zo mu huta" 

Nace "gaskiya kun kyauta, ko babu komai ai anyi zumunci" 

Sun dan jima a gidan, har na gama girki muka ci tare sannan suka yi min sallama tare da godiya Umar ya mayar da su gida.

A week after that sai gashi ya dawo tare da yammatan a motarsa har da akwatinan kayan su, suka shigo na bisu da kallo kawai sai yace su shigar da kayan su dakin yara sannan ya kama hannuna zuwa kitchen "ina office Mama ta kira ni, ina zuwa gida sai tace ga Hassana da Usaina nan zasu dawo gidan nan da zama wai gidan su yayi nisa sosai da school ba zasu iya zirga zirga ba. So zasu zauna anan for the mean time, kafin a san me za'a yi akai" 

Na fara girgiza kaina ina ja da baya, ya bini ya riko hannu na "Jidda please, Mama ce tace su zauna, we can't say no to her kin sani, just for the mean time maybe for this semester kadai. Iyayen su ne suka tambayi Mama ita kuma ta amsa musu ba zamu iya cewa a'a ba kin sani" na dafe kaina, I had no problem with the girls and with zaman su tare da mu, zama su debe min kewa ne dan I did get lonely sometimes musamman idan aiki ya chunkushe wa Umar, but still.........

Na dafe kaina da hannuna ina kokarin tunanin abinda ya kamata inyi, all I wanted to do was say no amma kuma bani da kwarin guiwar fadin hakan a lokacin kuma bana jin no din nawa will mean anything tunda na tabbatar ba zai ki bin maganar Mama ba akan tawa, I will just be putting him in a difficult situation, na shafa fuskata ya sake matsowa "please just say yes, na san baki ji dadi ba ya kamata a gaya miki tun kafin su zo amma ni ma ban san zasu zo din ba sai yanzu, ba zan iya ce mata no ba kin sani nima kar ki ce min no dan Allah" 

Na rufe ido na ina kokarin clearing kaina sannan na gyada kai "okay, su zauna din babu komai. It is okay" 

Yayi ajjiyar zuciya sannan ya rungume ni "thank you Baby, I was so scared that you will say no" na danyi dariya, trying to lighten up the situation sannan na ja kunnen sa "ban taba ganin namiji mai tsoro ba irin ka" ya rike kunnen yana bata rai "ban taba ganin matar da take takurawa kunnen mijinta ba irin ki"

Lafiya lau muka zauna da twins din nan, sam basu da matsala kullum zasu shirya su tafi school basa dawowa ma some times sai after six, da weekend kuma sai suje gida suyi weekend sai monday sai su dawo. Matsala daya ita ce zuciyata ta kasa sakewa, musamman daga baya da suka tsiri bin Umar in zai fita suce ya ajiye su a school, ko kuma ma in ba fita zaiyi ba in dai yana gida sai sun roke shi ya kai su, wani lokacin kuma ina gida zan ga sun dawo tare sai yace kiran sa sukayi suka ce in zai shigo ya biya ya dauko su. Gasu irin yan gayun nan be masu kyalliya, typical jambites.

A gidan ma kuma in dai zasu ganshi a zaune sai sun zo, auncle Umar this, auncle Umar that. Ban sani ba ko kishi ne, saboda tabbas nasan ina kishin mijina, ko kuma I was being cautious, sai naji hankali na yaki kwanciya da hakan, duk sanda suka tafi tare sai naji part of me ya tafi dasu, duk sanda suka dawo tare musamman in tare da daya suka dawo babu dayar sai inji duk zargi ya shiga zuciyata. And one day na tattaro courage dina nayi wa Umar maganar.

Da dare ne bayan na gama bashi kulawa ta ina kwance a kirjinsa shi kuma yana shafa bayana a hankali, na jima ina ta tsara yadda zanyi masa maganar, sai da naga alamar bacci yake neman yi sannan nace "Doctor" idonsa a rufe yace "uhmm?" Nace "ina son muyi magana" 

Ya tsaya da shafa bayana da yake yi amma bai ce komai ba, nima kuma sai nayi shiru, sai ya bude idonsa ya dago fuskata yana kallon cikin idona yace "fadi abinda yake ranki" na cire idona daga cikin nasa "akan yaran nan ne, gaskiya ni bana son zamansu a gidan nan, kaga......" Yace " I thought mun gama magana da ke, akwai wani problem ne da suke da shi?" Na girgiza kaina "basu da matsala ni ce mai matsalar, ka ga dai yammata ne, kyawawa, kasan kuwa halin da muke ciki ni da kai a gidan nan, hankali na baya kwanciya idan na ganka tare da su ko naga kun fita tare ko kun dawo tare"

Ya ture ni daga jikinsa sannan ya mike zaune "damn it Jidda. Kina nufin kina zargina da wadannan yan mitsimitsin yaran?" Na tashi zaune nima, a raina ina jin haushin ture nin da yayi nace "ba zargin ka dasu nake yi ba, ina tsoron kar in fara zargin naka dasu ne, maganin kar ayi hausawa sukace kar a fara, kai kasan matsalar ka nima nasani,  yaran nan are young, beautiful and tempting, kai nake jiye wa matsala ba ni ba, kar azo nan gaba ana wallahi tallahi" 

Ya zuciyo "wato duk abinda nake gaya miki kullum na cewa na daina, duk kokarin da nake yi dan ki fahimci na daina din amma wannan abin ke har yanzu yana ranki ko? Duk kokarin da nake yi dan in samu trust din ki amma kin rufe zuciyar ki kin goga min bakin fenti a ranki ba kya ta ba kallona da wani abu in ba wancan ba, I don't believe this! Me kike so ne inyi wanda zai saka ki dawo kin yarda dani ne wai Jidda, ki gaya min, me zanyi for you to trust me again"

Sai na debi kayana na saka, na juya masa bayana gyara kwanciya ta, "ni dai abinda yake raina na gaya maka, kai kuma sai ka dauki matakin da kake ganin ya dace" 

Ina jin sa shima ya kwanta, sannan yayi ta jera tsaki, ni dai har nayi bacci yana faman juyi. Da safe ya tashi da fushi yana amsa magana ciki ciki, ni dai nayi masa duk abinda zanyi masa amma ban bashi hakuri ba tunda ni a iyakacin sanina ban yi masa laifi ba, yana gama breakfast ya dauki Yasmin suka fita, ina lura da twins suna ta sauri zasu bishi amma sai jin tashin motarsa suka yi, naga alamar sunji haushin hakan sai na wayance da yi musu dariyar yau babansu ya manta da su

Ban kuma ganin ya fita da su ba kuma ban kuma ganin sun dawo tare ba, kwanaki kadan bayan nan kuma sai gashi ya zo yana gaya musu wai ya sa an samar musu hostel a cikin makaranta "kun ga kun huta da zirga zirga kullum, kuma zaku fi yin karatu a can" fuskokin su duk suka nuna rashin jin dadin haka, daga alama sunfi son nan din amma sai ya tashi ya shiga ciki. Na bishi na tarar dashi yana shirin shiga wanka na tsaya ina kallon sa sai yace "I hope you are happy now, you stubborn stubborn woman" ban ce komai ba sai ya taho gaba na tare da saka hannu a baya na ya zuge min zip din riga "azo a taya ni wanka" yace yana murmushi.

I felt guilty for what I did, duk da cewa 80% na zuciya ta yana gaya min cewa abinda nayi dai-dai ne, kamar yadda nace, maganin kar ayi to kar a fara. Sai kuma nayi tunanin maybe dan na saka maganar sosai a raina shi yasa na kasa cire zargi da damuwa daga raina. Watakila ma ya daina din, ni ce kawai na kasa barin zuciyata ta yarda cewa ya daina din, cos wannan maganar kullum da ita nake wuni da ita nake kwana no matter how much I try na kasa cire ta daga raina, in dai yayi late bai dawo ba sai nayi tunanin me yatsayar da shi, in dai na kira shi bai dauka ba sai nayi tunanin me yasa bai dauka ba, in dai aka kira shi a waya yaki dauka ko yayi rejecting sai nayi tunanin menene dalili? Waye yake kiransa? 

And I thought rashin aikin yi yana daya daga cikin abinda yake saka ni nake over thinking, maybe if I am to get busy, wasu abubuwan ma in yayi ba zan lura ba ballantana in damu, sai na fara tunanin ya kamata in fara aiki, tunda dama sanda na gama makaranta cikin Asad ne ya saka ban nemi aikin ba yanzu kuwa Asad ya bawa shekaru biyu baya, bayan haka ma kuma ina bukatar kudi nima ba wai dan Umar ya gaza yi min wani abu ba sai dan nima ina da personal bukatu na kamar taimakawa mahaifiya ta da yan'uwa na, kamar gudunmawar biki in ya tashi a dangi na ko nasa, ko yin kyauta haka ga wani a duk lokacin da nayi niyya ba sai na tsaya ina tambayar Umar ba.  

Sai na samu Umar nayi masa maganar, a raina ina doubting yadda zai karbi maganar tunda dai namiji ba shi da tabbas, duk da shi ya tsaya min nayi karatun zai iya cewa ba zan yi aikin ba kuma. Amma sai naga ya karbi maganar "babu komai insha Allah, in na fita zan fara following maganar in ji yadda za'a yi. It is about time da ya kamata kema ki fara aiki, tun kafin wani babyn ya zo" ya karasa fada yana langwabe kai, na san abinda yake nufi, kusan kullum sai yayi min nacin wai in cire masa bondage din dana saka masa, wai ya gaji, so yake mu daina using condom, claiming cewa yana takura masa kuma Asad wai yana bukatar kanne, ni kuma nayi kunnen uwar shegu da maganar ko yayi kamar ya manta sai na dauko na saka masa da kaina, in kuwa ya bari ya kare bai siyo ba to ya tabbatar ba zai shiga daga ciki ba.

A lokacin ma ni ba std nafi tsoro ba, haihuwa nafi tsoro, cos the more yaya da muka haifa da Umar the more bounded I will be to him, and the harder it will be for me to get away from him in case ya kara maimaita halayyar sa.

Cikin abinda yake kasa da wata uku Umar ya samo min aiki a asibitin da yake aiki, babu bata lokaci kuma na fara zuwa. Na fahimci dalilin da yasa ya dage sai in da yake zanyi aiki saboda tsananin kishin sa, saboda yana so ya saka min ido kuma ya saka din, kullum sai yayi maganar baya so in ke kula wane ko yayi ta tambaya ta yau waye da duty a ward din mu kuma me yace min nima mai nace masa, yayi ta cancelling mutane daga list din wadanda yake so inke yiwa magana kamar yayi lokacin da nake karatu, ni kuwa babu abinda ya dame ni tunda na tabbatar da cewa I have nothing to hide. 

Babban kalubalen dana fuskanta da farko shine inda zan ke ajiye Asad, da farko munyi lissafin za'a saka shi a daycare din makarantar su Yasmin sai kuma muka ga already shekarun sa sun kusa kaiwa ya shiga pre nursery musamman tunda yana da baki, sannan kuma ga session din ya kusa karewa, so it will be a waste of money mu saka shi yanzu gwara mu bari in za'a shiga sabon session sai a shiga da shi. Sai kawai muka yanke cewa zan ke fita dashi ina ajiye shi a gidan mu gurin Umma in na dawo sai in dauko shi mu taho, to wani lokacin kuma evening ne da ni sannan Yasmin ita ma ta dawo daga school amma kuma zata je islamiyya, sai in rasa yadda zanyi, daga baya sai nake tafiya dasu duk su biyun in ina evening din sai in ajiye su a gida baki daya, amma kuma hakan yana nufin Yasmin zata ke missing islamic school dinta duk ranar da nake evening, sai Umar ya samo musu malamin islamiyya yake yi musu a gida da weekend, but duk da haka bana jin dadin abin. 

Sai dai kuma ina fara aikin naji ba zan iya hakura da shi ba gaskiya. Naji duk wasu problems dina in dai har na fita daga gida kamar na bar su a gidan ne bani da wani tension in na zama busy sosai har mantawa nake yi da cewa mijina yana da wani problem. Bani da wani lissafin inda yake ko abinda yake yi. Farhan har cewa tayi nayi kiba wai, kuma na zama less moody, more focused. 

Zuwa aikina bai hana min sauke duk wasu hakkokin Umar ba, musamman na shimfida, kula da gida ma da girki da sauransu ina iyakacin kokari na duk da ba zan ce kamar kafin in fara aiki ba, amma kasancewar bama zama sosai a gidan sai ya rage aikin gidan sosai. 

Bayan wani lokaci ne Asad ya fara rashin lafiya, mura mai tsanani da zazzabi, kwanan mu biyu a asibiti kafin ya samu sauki a sallamo shi ya dawo gida.

Bayan mun dawo gida ne Mama tazo gidan tare da wata yar budurwar yarinya. Umar yana nan, nima ina nan, muka gaishe ta ta amsa mana ciki ciki sai tace yarinyar ta fita waje ta jirata sannan ta dauki Asad tana yi masa sannu shi kuma ya langwabe mata yana ta mata complain din bashi da lafiya duk kuwa da cewa ya warke. 

Ta kama fada "ba dole kayi ciwo ba Asad tunda iyayenka basu dauki rayuwar ka da muhimmanci ba, ai suna sane, sun sani sarai cewa ba lafiya ce ta ishe ka ba amma uwarka ta tsiri wani zuwa gurin aiki na banza da wofi, dan tana ganin tafi karfin a hana ta abu in tayi niyyar yi, tun sanda tace zata fara aikin sai da na kira ka ai nayi maka maganar bana son aikin nan da zata fara" ta fada tana addressing Umar, "amma saboda kafi girmama maganar ta akan tawa sai ka saka kafa kayi ball da maganar tawa ka nuna ai babu komai ai waye waye, ga shi nan zata yi maka asarar Da ai, duk da nasan ko mutuwa yayi ma ba dai na zuwa aikin zata yi ba tunda ta riga ta saka kanta, bayan babu abinda aka rage ta da shi".

Umar yace "Mama please now, menene hadin aikin ta kuma da rashin lafiyar Asad, ba fa dashi take zuwa office din ba ballantana ya dauki kwayoyin cuta a can ko wani abu" tace "rufe min baki, sallamamme, ko yawon da take yi dashi kullum a mota ba zai saka masa ciwo ba? Ko gidan nasu da take kai shi kasan abinda yake ci ko sha acan?" Umar ya dafe kansa "Mama" ta nuna shi "kar ka sake kiran sunana. Wallahi a kirji na nake jinka Umar kar ka bari in amayoka, kai ba ka ganin laifin matarka kuma baka so wani ya gane maka, ta shanye ka tas babu abinda yayi saura sai fanko. Bata so kowa ya rabe ka sai ita kadai, bata son kowa ya more ka sai ita kadai. To wallahi baki isa ba" ta fada tana nuna ni "na gaya miki ranar nan kuma zan sake gaya miki wannan yaron da kike gani wanda kika aura bayan ya riga ya zama mutum ba ki san wahalar da nasha da shi ba kafin ya zama mutum, shi kadai Allah ya bani a matsayin da namiji dan haka sama ta ka ba zaki zo ki karbe shi ki raba shi da kowa ba. Dole inyi magana kuma dole a bita a gidan nan. Ga yarinya nan.....  Sunan ta Asabe, yar Malam Musa ce (maigadin su), ni na roke shi ya bani ita saboda na yaba da hankalin ta gata nan na kawo muku zata ke zama da yara a gida ba za'a ke watangaririya da su ba. Sai ki zaba, ko ki bar aiki ko kuma ku dauki yar aiki. Zabi ya rage ya naki amma dole cikin biyu zaki dauki daya" ta mike tsaye sannan ta nuna shi tace "saura kuma ta saka ka ka kore ta kamar yadda ta saka ka kori yan uwanka kwanan baya, saboda tsabar kishin bata son kowa ya rabe ka sai ita kadai" 

Ta ajiye Asad ta fita da sauri shi kuma ya mike ya bi ta a baya.

Na bisu da kallo sannan na dawo da hankali na kan yatsun hannuna ina kalla, ba wai dan suna burge ni ba sai dan ina son in rike hawayen da yake neman zubo min.

Tabbas bana son yar aiki, tun ina amarya bana son yan aiki, ina kallon su a matsayin kazamai kuma in na var musu gidana zasu yi kin kazanta, ni kuma babban abinda na tsana shine kazanta. But then ina son aikina, dan ina jin tun da muka fara samun matsala da Umar ban taba jin peace irin wanda nake ji yanzu da na samu abinyi ba. Bana jin zan iya barin aikina gaskiya.

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*wannan littafin na siyarwa ne bisa amana, in baki siya ba kar ki karanta, in kin siya kuma kar kiyi sharing, in kika yi kin ci amana kuma ke da Allah*

*The Limit*

*Masu karanta littafin nan ba tare da kun siya ba, ina tuna muku da cewa na siyarwa ne. Lokaci na da kwakwalwa ta da data ta da nayi amfani dasu gurin hada labarin nan, rubuta shi, typing da kuma posting na siyarwa ne, idan kuma baki biya ni a duniya da kudi ba tabbas zaki biya ni a lahira da sallar ki da azumin ki*

Ina na zaune har ya dawo, ya zo zauna a kusa dani "am sorry Jidda...." Nayi saurin katse masa magana "don't be. It is okay. Mama ta fadi abinda yake ranta ne kuma ni ko menene zata fada bazan taba mayar mata ba saboda kamar Umma nake ganin ta, nasan kuma ta so ni farkon auren mu yanzu ne dai ta kasa fahimta ta, ina kuma saka ran watarana zata fahimci cewa ni da ita are on the same side" sai na mike na leka waje na kira yarinyar, ta shigo na tsaya ina kare mata kallo ina jin raina yana baci ina tambayar kaina anya kuwa zan iya barin yayana a hannun wannan kazamar? 

Daga inda take tsaye ina jin warin da yake tasowa daga jikinta, ko dai in ajiye aikin ne? Na girgiza kaina da sauri, gaskiya ba zan iya ba. 

Na zauna na sake tambayarta sunan ta tace "Asabe" na gyada kaina "ina kayan ki suke?" Tace "suna waje" sai nace taje ta dauko. 

Umar yace "ina za'a saka ta?" Nace "dakin yara mana, ina kake tunani?" Ya girgiza kai "no way, in tana da wani ciwo fa ko wani parasite a jikin ta wanda zasu iya dauka" nayi dariya "gyara ta zamu yi ai, in ma tana da ciwo ba gidan likitoci ta shigo ba? Sai ayi mata magani" ya sake girgiza kai "uhm uhm, ba dakin yayana ba gaskiya" cikin gatse nace masa "to ina zataje? Dakina?" Yace "definitely no" sai yayi shiru yana tunani sannan yace "a gyara mata store din can tunda ba amfani ake yi da shi ba"

Babu yadda banyi da Umar ba kar a ajiye yarinyar nan a store amma yaki yarda, na nuna masa cewa dakin yaran ai ba a can suke kwana ba amma still yaki yarda, haka ya kira mai gadi suka fitar da kayan da suke store, ni kuma na saka Asabe ta fitar da jakar kayanta waje na bata sabulu ta sake wanke su ta shanya a rana, na saka mata ƙaramar katifa a store din na bata bedsheet da pillow sannan na kawo mata standing fan din dakin Umar, yayi ta mita nayi kamar ban ji shi ba dan babu fanka a store din kuma ga taga karama ni kuma ba zan iya barinta ta kwana a haka ba ina ganin akwai cin zali a ciki. 

Sai da muka sake wani rigimar da Umar, yace wai sai dai take fita toilet din mai gadi ni kuma nace gaskiya ba zata je ba, tana mace ba zata ke fita waje tana shiga toilet din maza ba gwara ta shiga na dakin yara, shine har da jan yaran gefe da ja musu kunne wai kar su shiga toilet din dakin su zasu dauki cuta, in suna son shiga toilet su taho dakina ko nasa

A haka zaman Asabe da mu ya fara, Umar ya takura mata sosai, ni har tausayi take bani a lokacin, bata da damar ko da giftawa ta hanyar da yake, in dai yana gida to tana dakinta ko kuma dan filin da muke dashi a baya, nan ne ya koma gurin zamanta, ko a kitchen ya ganta sai yayi mata bala'i, sai da ya saka na ware mata cup da plate da spoon tare da rokon dan Allah kar inke barinta tana taba mana namu. 

A nawa bangaren ni kuma duk da tsantsani na haka na dage gurin gyaran yarinyar nan dan dai kawai in iya zama da ita kamar yadda mahaifiyar sa ta bukata, na bata toiletries kuma na koya mata amfani da su, na koya mata amfani da water system dan bata iya ba, sannan na jaddada mata yin amfani da sabulu in ta gama using toilet da fatan hakan zai rage mata warin da take yi. Har turare na bata, roll on da na kaya masu dan karfi da zasuyi overcoming warin jikinta. Sannan na debi kayana na bawa wani tailor a bakin layin mu ya rage mata su na bata na cire wadanda suka zama tsumma a cikin nata, na siya mata pants da bra guda bibbiyu na ja mata kunne akan take chanjawa akai akai tana wankewa. 
Kullum sau biyu nake matsanta mata tayi wanka kuma ta wanke bakin ta da har bana so tayi magana a kusa da ni saboda warin da yake yi. 

A hankali a hankali ta fara dawowa mutum, sai na fara koya mata aikin gida kamar shara da wanke wanke da moping, iyakacin falo da kitchen da dakin yara dan ko corridor din da dakunan mu suke bana barinta ta shiga ballantana ta shiga daki na ko na Umar, in Umar yana nan kuwa ko falo bata zama, tana yin aikin ina gani kuma ina gyara mata har ta koya duk da dai ba kamar in ni nayi da kaina ba amma ina barinta tayi musamman in ina sauri. 

A hankali sai na fahimci bata da matsala, tana da son yara sosai kuma tana son su Yasmin duk da dai Yasmin ko kallo bata ishe ta ba, Asad ne mutumin ta kullum yana gurinta yana yi mata surutu ita kuma tana biye masa suyi tayi suna dariya, kun san ance mai da wawa, sai naji nima ta kwanta min arai, na kuma cigaba da kyautata mata a hankali har na fara barin mata yaran a hannun ta sannan na siya mata yar karamar waya na kuma koya mata yadda zata ke amfani da ita na saka mata number ta nace in bana nan in suna bukata ta sai da kira ni, nima kuma sai nake kiran su akai akai inajin yadda suke ciki. 

Kullum idan morning duty ne dani zan fita da Yasmin, ita kuma ita zata je ta dauko ta a Napep sannan su ci abincin da nake dafawa in ajiye musu sannan su shirya su tafi islamiyya tare, ita ma na saka ta tare da Asad, in evening ne dani haka zasu dawo su zauna su jira ni in dawo, in morning ne kuma usually kafin su tafi islamiyya ma na dawo. 

A bangaren Umar har yanzu muna nan, tun case din Mammy bamu sake yin wani case da shi ba kuma ban taba gani ko jin wani abu da zai sa inyi tunanin bai daina ba, amma na rasa dalilin da yasa deep inside me nake ganin bai daina din ba, ko dan ya saba yi min alkawarin ya daina kuma yazo ya sake? Ko wannan ne dalili? Ko kuma wani dalilin ne daban? 

Amma ban taba nuna masa ina tunanin bai daina din ba, na cigaba da kokarin kyautata masa da kuma kai kuka na ga Allah da rokon kar ya sake maimaita mana abin daya faru a baya, dan na sani, na riga nayi wa kaina alkawari cewa next case da zamuyi da Umar, that's in muka yi kenan, is going to be our last dan na gama zama dashi ko da kuwa shine autan maza, ko da kuwa zan ke kwana a gefen titi ne. 

Umar ya sayi wata motar ko ince Baba ya siya masa wata motar,  da tawa muke sharing, da yayi sabuwar luma most of the times tawa yake hawa yabar min ta sa. Sai dai in na riga shi fita ne sai in dauki tawa in bar masa ta sa.

Ina jin dadin aikina sosai, bayan debe min kewa da keeping dina busy da yake yi ga kudade da suke shigowa aljihuna. Kuma kudaden da dan kaurin su babu laifi, kuma gashi Umar bai rage komai na daga abinda yake yi min ba, bai kuma taba neman inyi masa wani abu da kudina ba, abinda nake yi da kudin kawai shine taimakon iyayena, dan da gaske yanzu Abba yana cikin matsala dan yan kudin nasa da ya bawa yayansa su juya masa sun cinye, yanzu gidan mu ya zama sai dai wannan ya kawo shinkafa wancan ya kawo taliya, kuma duk da haka fama ake yi kowa a cikin mazan yana complain cewa yana da iyali shima, matan kuma duk babu wadda Abba ya tsayawa tayi karatu sai ni dana samu Umar ya barni, dan haka tunda na fara aikin nake siyan kayan abinci ina kaiwa, sannan kuma in bawa Umma kudi itama ko zata bukaci wani abu duk da dai yaya Tahir yana iyakacin kokarin sa na daukar dawainiyar ta, Abbah ma ya fara neman kudi yanzu yana dan samun na kashewa. Amira kuma Umar ne ya nema mata school sannan ya dauki nauyin kudin makarantar ta har kudin kashewa yake bata saboda transport da sauran tsarabe tsaraben karatu. Wannan ne ya kara kafa gwamnatin sa a gurin Umma. 

A lokacin ne akayi bikin yaya Jamila, Finally Allah ya nufa lokaci yayi ta samu miji matansa biyu da yaya shida, amma gidan ta daban ya samar mata ga kuma aikinta tana yi, dan haka duk bamu damu da kasanewar sa mai iyali ba sai fatan Allah ya basu zaman lafiya ya hada kawunan su. 

A bikin sai na zama tamkar wata tauraruwa a cikin sauran yan'uwa, kowa kallo na yake yi, Umar ya kashe kudi wajen siya min suttura mai tsada wadda zan shiga biki da ita, sannan a gurin bikin bini bini ya kira ni wai ya nake? Babu problem? Har tsokana ta matan gurin suka fara yi daga anji karar wayata za'a ce gashi nan ya kira, wai battery dinsa yayi low ya kira in masa recharging, ni kuma sai inyi dariya kawai, sai kuma aka dauko hirar matsalolin aure kowa tana fadar nata, wannan tace masifa ne da mijin ta waccan tace kulle, waccan tace rashin kulawa, da yawa kuma matsalar su rashin nuna soyayya, ni kuma sai nayi shiru kawai ina bin su da kallo dan babu abinda zan iya cewa a cikin hirar tasu, to ince me? In ce ni nawa mijin neman mata yake yi a ciki harda yar mu Mammy? Ko kuma ince ita kanta amaryar da ake bikin ta mijina ya taba kwanciya da ita?

Yaya Hudallah ta kalle ni "Jidda fa? Ke baki da wata matsala ko?" Na danyi murmushi "babu wanda bashi da matsala yaya, but all I can say is alhamdulillah" 

Suka yi dariya "baki da matsalar kenan ai yarinya, da kina da ita sanda zaki fada ma babu wanda zai tambaye ki, ko a jikin ki ko a gidan ki da sai an gani" sai suka fara hira ta, kowa tana fadin albarkacin bakin ta akan abinda taji ko ta gani na irin kulawar da mijina yake bani. 

Sai na tashi kawai na bar gurin, bana son hirar tayi nisa har in fadi abinda zanyi regretting nan gaba. Sai na koma gurin yammata na zauna tare da Farhan hoping zanji dadi amma sai ta dauko min hirar nata problem din

"Jidda ni ina jin duk wanda yazo neman aure na kawai zance masa ya fito ne, ke ni bani da zabi fa yanzu, ko mai matan ne irin na yaya Jamila Allah auren sa zanyi" nayi dariya "zabin Allah dai Farhan. Duk gaggawar ki ba zaki yi aure ba sai lokacin auren ki yayi, kuma duk saurin ki mijinki dai zaki aura ba zaki auri mijin wata ba, ko kince ya fito in dai ba shine mijinki ba to ba zai fito din ba, ko kuma in ya fito din ma sai anzo daurin aure a fasa, mijinki yana nan somewhere, zai fito da kansa insha Allah" 

ta fara bubbuga hannu "to yayi sauri ya zo mana me yake jira, ko so yake sai al'umma sun cinye ni da raina? ni da nasan inda yake da naje na kirawo shi" nayi dariya "lokaci Farhan, lokaci yake jira. Sai kiga yazo kunyi auren ku kun zauna lafiya har mutuwa, It is better to marry late than to marry wrong" na fada ina jin wani iri a zuciyata. Ko wa yana kallon na kamar nafi kowa dacen miji, ni kuwa ni kadai nasan what I am going through.

Wannan bikin ma na gayyaci yan uwan Umar, kuma kamar wancan Mufida ce kawai da yaya Mubaraka suka zo min kuma ban damu ba, yaya Mubaraka sharp sharp tazota tafi wai tana da wani bikin, Mufida ce muka zauna tare har aka kai amarya sannan na kwashi bataliya ta muka tafi gida tare da ita. Tace a gidana zata kwana sai da safe zata koma gida. 

Da safiyar ne tana toilet dina tana wanka ni kuma na shigo neman chanji zan aiki mai gadi sai na dauki handbag dinta ina dubawa ko zan samu, and then I saw something da ya saka zuciyata tsayawa a makogwarona, wani abu a cikin dan karamin zip din jakarta wanda yake makale ba lallai ka ganshi ba in dai ba bincike kake yi ba kamar yadda yanzu nake binciken neman kudi, na dauko shi ina jujjuya shi a hannuna dan in tabbatar shi din ne, na kuma tabbatar din dan nasan shi sosai, yana nan a dakin Umar kwali guda, a condom. 

"Condom?" Na fada hankali "me condom yake yi a jakar Mufida?" Jin tana kokarin fitowa sai na mayar da shi na ajiye mata jakarta na fita. 

But I was shocked, really shocked dan da kyar na samu na kammala breakfast sai gata ta fito ta sha kwalliya tana waya, ta zauna tana cin abinci da sauri wai sauri take yi, nace "bara to inzo in kaiki gida" sai ta girgiza kai da sauri "ba gida zan je ba, school zan shiga" tana spill 2 yanzu, wai wani course ne guda daya ya rike ta, Umar yace wai lecturer din ne marar kirki ya ki barin ta ta fita har yau. 

Nace "okay to sai in kaiki school din ma ai ko" sai ta ajiye spoon din hannunta tana kallo na da murmushi tace "why are you being nice to me? Ko so kike ki yi bribing dina kar yaya Doctor yayi miki kishiya" nayi dariya "my dear sweet Mufida, ni ai naci dubu sai ceto. Dan Allah in kun tashi yi masa auren ku auro masa uku a rana daya" tayi dariya a lokacin da Umar yake shigowa gurin sai yace "dama na dade da sanin cewa ba kya kishina, kuma zan baki mamaki, sai kin zo kina kuka kina rokona "dan Allah yaya Doctor ka fasa auren nan wallahi ko mai kake so zanyi maka" Mufida ta sake dariya ni kuma na bata rai "zaka sha mamaki wallahi. Allah dai ya kaimu lokacin" babu wanda yace ameen a cikin su. 

Sai Mufida tayi mana sallama wai zata tafi, and I followed her kamar rakata zanyi sai na labe a bakin gate ina so inga inda zata yi, and I saw her cross the street ta tafi wajen wata mota da take fake a gefen titi da tinted glass, ta bude ta shiga suka tafi.

Hankali na ya tashi a ranar kwarai da gaske, na wuni ina tunanin abinda zanyi da wannan information din dana samu, ni dai na tabbatar ba zan doshi Mama da shi ba sai dai ko Umar, in ma kuma Mama zata ji daga Umar din zan so ace kar ta fahimci daga gurina sakon ya fito dan ba zata yarda ba sai ma kara tsanata da zata yi tace nayi wa yarta sharri. 

Shima kuma kansa Umar din ban san ta yadda zan nufeshi da maganar ba amma kuma nasan yin maganar shine dai dai a matsayi na na matar sa dole in sauke hakkinsa in gaya masa gaskiya, ita ma kuma Mufida kawata ce kuma yarinyar kirki ce ba zan so abinda nake tunani a kanta ya zama gaskiya ba.

And I decided zan gaya masa, but dole in zama careful. A ranar da daddare muna cin abinci na gaya masa, nace "ni kuwa Doctor ya zancen auren Mufida ne? Tunda aka yi na Muhsina naji an daina maganar nata" yana cin abincin sa ya daga kafada yace "taki, tace sai ta gama school, iyayen ta kuma sun goya mata baya sunce a barta tunda ta kusa gamawa, dan ma wannan dan iskan lecturer din ya rike ta da yanzu service take yi" nayi shiru ina jujjuya abincin gaba na, naji idon sa a kaina sai na dago kai muka hada ido yace "I know that look, what is it?" Na ajiye spoon din hannuna nace "dazu da ta tafi, wani ne ya dauke ta a mota" ya ajiye nasa spoon din ya rungume hannunsa yana kallona "wani kuma? Kuma baki san shi ba?" Da daga kafada, "ban san shi ba, ban ga fuskar sa ba glasses din motar are tinted" yayi shiru, and I saw his nostril suna budewa suna rufewa da sauri, abinda yake yi in ransa ya baci, sai nayi dropping bomb din. "Kafin ta fita, sanda tana wanka, ina neman kudi a jakarta, I saw a condom" 

Ya mike da sauri har sai da kujerar da yake kai ta fadi, ya nuna ni "you saw something that looks like a condom, amma baki tabbatar ba, right?" Na mike tsaye nima sannan nace a nutse "I know what a condom looks like, condom na gani ba abinda yake kama da condom ba" ya dafe kansa "maybe tsinta tayi, maybe bata san ma menene ba ta dauka ta saka a jakar ta, maybe ma ba jakar ta bace ta wata ce ta ara, maybe kuma wani abin ne na makaranta ya kawo sai sunyi binciken da suke buƙatar condom. It can be anything" 

Nace "maybe. Maybe not. Allah kadai ne ya sani sai kuma in anyi bincike sannan za'a tabbatar. Mama ya kamata ka nuna wa ta saka ido a kanta, kai ma kuma ka saka ido a kanta, in kun ga wani abu sai a gaggauta yi mata aure, shine dalilin da yasa na gaya maka dan ayi wa tufkar hanci tun yanzu".

Ban san ya suka yi da Mama ba but Mufida told me a waya cewa Mama ta takura mata, yanzu ta hana ta zuwa ko'ina sai ranar da take da lecture din nan guda daya da ake binta ita ma kuma tare da driver zasu je ya jira ta ta gama su dawo gida tare, har timetable din su Mama ta aika aka kawo mata dan haka tasan ranar da take da lecture da ranar da bata da ita.

Naji dadin hakan, at least za'a dakile ko ma menene yake faruwa da ita.

Bayan wannan ya wuce, lokacin tafiya aikin hajji yayi sai ga Surayya ta kira ni tana ta murna tagaya min zasu je hajji ita da Bashir "wallahi Jidda abin mamaki, kawai yazo yace ya biya min zamu tafi tare. I am sooo happy" na taya ta murna "Masha Allah. Allah ya kaiku lfy ya dawo da ku lafiya yasa karbabbiya za'a yi"  

Sai kuma ta nuna min target dinta na yi wa mijinta addu'a a gaban ka'aba, tare kuma da shawartar sa da shima yayi wa kansa addu'a, na nuna mata cewa hakan dai dai ne. Fews days bayan nan suka tafi. 

Sai dai.......

Bayan sun dawo banji labarin sun dawo ba, ina ta lissafi amma shiru, har satittika suka wuce, ina son tambayar Umar amma bana son yi masa maganar duk data shafi Bashir. Sai na gwada number dinta, sai kawai naji ta shiga, a raina nace sun dawo kenan. 

Muka gaisa da ita sosai sai nayi mata mitar yadda bata gaya min sun dawo ba. Sai tace 

"Hummm. Jidda kenan. Zan baki labarin abinda ya faru tunda already kin riga kinsan halin da nake ciki. Kin san Bashir a Saudiyya na kama shi da mace turmi da tabarya?" 

(Wannan abin ya faru da daya daga cikin readers din Jidda, she told me the story, ni kuma nayi deciding saka shi a cikin labarin dan in nuna wa masu karatu how deep zina can cut into a person's Iman, yadda har mutum zai iya tafiya macca da niyar sauke farali sai kuma ya buge da aikata zina a cikin gari mafi tsarki a cikin ranaku masu alfarma)

Naji kamar zan yar da wayar hannu saboda yadda maganar ta razana ni. Nace "innalillahi wa inna ilaihir rajiun" tace "Wallahi. Kin san dai nasan yana yi amma ban taba kamashi in the act ba sai a can, na dawo daga masallaci inda na dauki tsahon lokaci ina nema masa shiriya sai na zo masaukin sa na tarar da shi turmi da tabarya da wata matar da ban sani ba. Bayan sun ganni sun kuma san na gansu sai na juya na koma masallaci, banyi masa addu'ar shiriya ba sai nayi wa kaina addu'ar Allah ya bani iko da nasarar rabuwa da aurensa. Sai a lokacin na gode wa Allah da ya karbi dan dana haifa bai raya shi ba, sai a lokacin na fahimci abinda ake cewa akan duk sanda mutum yayi addu'a da iklasi ana karba sai dai in ba alkhairi bace sai a chanja masa da mafi alkhairin ta, sai lokacin da na fahimci jimawar da nayi ina yiwa Bashir addu'a ita ce Allah yayi amfani da ita ya nuna min kiri kiri cewa shi ba mai shiryuwa bane ba, sauran kuma hukunci ya rage nawa?"

"Ko maganar banyi masa ba na rabu dashi, amma muna saika a airport sai nayi hanyar gidan ubana kuma ina zuwa na gaya masa cewa na gama auren Bashir, suka dage lallai sai na koma ni kuma nayi musu hauka, na zauna na ringa rusa ihu ina cewa wallahi ba zan koma ba, babanmu har da dauko bulala zai dake ni ni kuma nace sai dai ya kashe ni amma ba zan koma ba, a ka shiga tsakani dai aka hana shi dukana" 

"Amma can you believe har yau Bashir bai biyo ni ba kuma iyayensa ma basu zo ba? Na ji baban mu ya fara mita kasa kasa, na san shima ransa ya baci da abinda suka yi. Insha Allah Jidda wannan shine karshen wahala ta"

"Ni kam na kai limit dina na hakuri, nayi iyakacin iyawa ta ubangiji ma ya sani. Ba zan koma gidan Bashir ba, Allah ya sani. Ina kuma kyautata zato na a gare shi ina saka ran zaiyi min chanji na alkhairi"

Na jima ina lissafin maganar Surayya, zancen limit din da ta fada got me thinking about komai yana da limit, rayuwa, lokaci, haihuwa, komai yana da farko kuma yana da karshe, ma'ana hakuri ma yana da limit, akwai lokacin da mutum zai kai limit din sa na hakuri in yace zai yi crossing kuwa to tabbas zai tarwatse ko kuma ya tarwatsa wadanda yake tare da su.

A year pass by, tun da muka yi case din Mammy. And then one day ranar friday na dawo daga aiki da magrib, lokacin ana ta sallah a masallatai sai na tarar maigadin mu baya nan ya tafi masallaci, ya saya bakin gate din bai rufe shi sosai ba, na tsaya kenan da niyar yin horn ko Asabe tana kusa sai ta zo ta bude min sai na hangi wani abu daga crack din da bai rufu ba a gate din. Asabe ce a tsaye Umar yana tsaye a bayanta, too close, tayi wata magana sai yayi murmushi sai kuma ta juya ta bashi wani abu da yake hannunta, and I noticed wayarsa ce, ya karba ya saka a aljihunsa sannan yasake yi mata wata magana suka yi dariya. 

My heart was boiling a lokacin, Umar din da ko guri daya baya zama da Asabe amma ya akayi suka yi irin wannan tsayuwar kuma me ya kai wayarsa hannunta? Me suke cewa?

Nayi horn, sai naga sun kalli gate a tare sai yayi mata magana ita kuma ta shiga cikin gida da gudu, shi kuma sai ya taho zuwa gate din ya bude karamar kofa ya fito yana murmushi, ya zo window na, "welcome back Madam, nawa zaki biya in bude miki gate?" Naji haushin yadda yake kokarin yi min wasa, Umar ba karamin pretender bane ba nace "no barshi kawai Baba Adamu ya idar da sallah sai ya bude min, kasan shi namiji ne ya tafi masallaci" sai ya saka hannu ya ja hancina "kin ci sa'a sunan ki Hauwa'u, sunan matata ne, da ace Jidda sunan ki da ba zan bude miki ba" ya bude gate din na shiga da motar sai yace min zai je masjid, ya fita. 

Na jima a motar ina zaune na jingina kaina da jikin stirring ido na a rufe ido na, a hankali na furta "ya Allah" sai kuma na bude motar na fita da sauri na shiga cikin gidan. Yasmin tana kallo, Asad kuma yana game. Suka mike da sauri suka tarye ni nayi kissing din su daya bayan daya sannan nace "ana sallah kuna zaune ko? Maza aje ayi alwala. Kar a jika jiki amma" suka wuce sai kuma nace "ina Asabe?" Yasmin tace "ta shiga dakin ta yanzu da gudu" na gyada kai kawai sai na bita dakin, ina shiga naji dakin yana warin ta.

Tana kwance ta lulluba, na tsaya a kanta sannan na sa kafa na dake ta "ke Asabe!" Tayi shiru kamar ba da ita nake ba sai na daka mata duka "ke! Kar ki raina min hankali mana" ta tashi zaune tana mitsitstsika ido kamar wadda ta tashi daga bacci "mommy kin dawo?" Naji kamar in sharara mata mari "kar ki raina min hankali wallahi zan ci ubanki, uban me kike yi a waje" tace "waje kuma mommy? Ni ina nan ina bacci fa, ni banje waje ba" na damki rigarta na daga ta sama "uwarki kenan na gani tare da Umar a waje ko?" Ta fara karkarwa "mommy dan Allah kiyi hakuri, wallahi ba wani abin muke yi ba" nace "me yake ce miki?" Tace "hoto ya nuna min a wayarsa" nace "hoton me?" Tace "hoton sa ne, kawai nuna min yayi yace yayi kyau shine nace yayi kyau" na saki rigarta na fita daga dakin hannu na guda daya a dafe da kirjina ina jin zuciyata kamar zata fito na shiga dakina na rufe kofa sannan na jingina da jikin kofar. "innalillahi wa inna ilaihir rajiun".

Ba wai maganar da sukayi ce ta taba ni ba, ba kuma yadda naga sun tsaya din ba, a'a yadda yake munafurta ta tare da nuna kamar basa ma yi wa juna magana amma kuma a bayan ido na har sunyi sabawar da zai dauki hoto ya nuna mata ya tambayi opinion din ta, sannan kuma da yaji na dawo yace ta tafi daki tayi pretending kamar bacci take yi shi kuma yaje ya tsayar dani da surutu har ya bata damar kwanciyar. 

Tabbas Umar bai daina halinsa ba. A cikin gidan mu kenan a gaban ƴaƴan mu, Allah kadai yadan abinda yake yi a waje. Wata zuciyar ta gaya min cewa in tattara Asabe in auna ta kauyen su, sai kuma nayi tunanin idan na dauke Asabe daga gida na hana shi kula ta a gida zan hana shi kula wadansu a waje ne? Sai na yanke shawarar zan barta, sai dai zan saka ido a kansu sosai maybe ta nan zan kama shi. But amma kuma anya? Umar? Umarul Faruq? Asabe fa? Yarinyar da har yanzu daga ni har shi bama iya cin abin da ya shiga hannun ta, bama iya amfani da cup ko spoon din da tayi using. Anya ban zurfafa zargi na ba akan Umar?

Amma kuma duk da haka zan saka ido a kan su sosai, kuma ba zan nuna wa Umar ina zargin wani abu ba, dan da zarar ya fahimci wani abu zai rufe duk wata kofa da zata sada ni da gaskiyar magana.

Da ya dawo daga masallaci yayi ta kame kamen tsokana ta da yara, ni kuma nayi iyakacin kokari na na ganin na boye damuwa ta amma na kasa, har muka je daki muka kwanta sai cewa yayi. "Dazu da na dawo daga office na tarar yaran nan basu dawo daga islamiyya ba, hankali na ya tashi nayi ta tunanin inda suka tsaya, kin san yanzu yanayin da ake ciki na rashin tsaro, nayi ta tunanin da ina da number din yarinyar nan da sai in kira su inji me ya tsayar da su. Shine bayan sun dawo na karbi number dinta, saboda gaba" nayi shiru kawai ina kallon sa, rashin gaskiya a rubuce a fuskarsa, jin ban ce komai ba sai ya cigaba "ina cikin karba ne ma kika dawo". 

Na danyi murmushi, wato ya lura na gansu tare, wannan kame kamen duk na rufe gaskiya ne, na girgiza kaina nace "ka kyauta. Allah ya kare mana su" ya kwanta tare da lumshe idonsa, ina ganin yadda yayi ajjiyar zuciya sannan yace "ameen" nima na kwanta a kusa da shi na rufe ido na, abinda ya manta shine ranar Friday ne babu islamiyya.

Tun daga ranar na saka ido a kan Asabe sosai, ina lura da duk wani move din ta a gidan sai dai ko kadan ban taba nuna musu ina lura da su ba. Amma kuma inda zan gane cewa Umar ya iya covering tracks dinsa ko kallo ban taba ganin yayi mata na kirki a gaba na ba, hantarar nan dai ce da tsawa da kyara, amma ban daina lura da su ba until one fateful day, da weekend, ranar ana muku mukun sanyi duk muna gida har yara. Muna falo gabakidaya Umar yana ta wasa da yayansa yana yiwa Asad doki suna zagaya falo ni kuma ina kwance da Yasmin a jikina ina karanta mata story book. Sai aka yi knocking, na je na leka sai naga wata yarinya yar aikin makota na wadda suke islamiyya aji daya da Asabe. Ta gaishe ni na amsa sannan tace tana neman Asabe, sai nace ta zagaya ta kofar kitchen ta baya ta shiga, Asabe tana bayan ko kuma dakinta. 

Na koma na cigaba da abinda nake yi sai Yasmin ta fara complain din sanyi yayi yawa, Umar yace rashin motsa jiki ne yake saka mu jin sanyi ni da Yasmin amma shi da Asad ai basa jin sanyin, sai yace a fita waje ayi skipping, a ga wanda baya exercise a cikin mu, a ga wanda jikin sa yayi nauyi. Muka fara musu nace zan iya shi kuma yace ba zan iya ba. Yasmin ta tashi da gudu ta tafi dauko mana skipping rope a dakin su ni kuma na dauki cups din da muka sha juice na tafi zan mayar kitchen.

Store (dakin Asabe) da kitchen kusan a tare suke amma kofar kowanne daban sai dai kofofin a jikin juna suke. Ina shiga kitchen din naji an ambaci sunana sai naja na tsaya a bakin kofa, muryar Asabe naji 

"ke tsoron mommy fa yake yi kamar mala'ikan da zata cire ransa haka yake tsoron ta" 

"Ya ke tsoron ta ko ke kike tsoron ta? Ke fa sokuwa ce wallahi. Yanzu kayan da na baki fa ko sau daya bana jin kin taba sakawa" 

"Uhm uhm ba zan saka kayan nan ba, alkuran tagan su a jikina ubana zata ci, watakila ma ta kora ni gidan mu kuma wallahi duk abinda ta fada ta zauna kenan ba zai musa mata ba" 

"Eh bai iya musa mata ba amma ai ya iya ya lallabo ya danne ki in bata nan ko?" 

Suka yi dariya.... 

"Ke ya daina zuwa fa, tun wata rana da ta gan mu muna magana a waje, bai kara kula ni ba, na gaya miki tsoron ta yake ji kamar mala'ikan mutuwarsa alkuran. Ni tsoro nake ji ma kar alkawarin da yayi min ya bi ruwa"

"Alkawarin da yayi miki ba zai bi ruwa ba in dai har kina yin abinda nace miki, yo sau nawa anayin haka? Yar aikin gida ta auri mai gida kuma ta kori matar gida? Watarana sai dai in ce nazo gidan kawata" 

Suka yi dariya.......

Cups din da suke hannuna ne suka zame suka fadi kasa suka tarwatse. Karar faduwar su ta saka suka fito daga dakin a tare suna rarraba ido, kawar tata ce ta fara ganina sai tayi hanyar waje a guje, ita kuma asaben tayi kokarin komawa ciki da gudu, na damko ta na dawo da ita baya sannan na jata zuwa cikin kitchen din na buga ta da bango. 

Ta dora hannu biyu a ka ido kamar zai fado kasa "mommy wallahi ba zancen ku muke yi ba, alkuran ba maganar ku muke yi ba" na shake wuyanta nace "kashe ki zanyi dan ubanki, na haka rami na binne gawarki nace kin bata dan uwarki" ta zaro ido "alkuran mommy ba ke mommyn muke nufi ba" 

Na shake wuyanta da hannu daya sannan na fara laluben abinda zan dauko da daya hannun, abinda zaiyi mata illa nake nema, hannu na ya sauka kan fork din da muka gama cin abinci dashi dazu, na dauko na dora tsinin sa a wuyanta sannan nayi mata straight tambaya "menene tsakanin ki da mijina?". 

Ta tsorata sosai, idonta ya ciko da hawaye "dan Allah kiyi hakuri kar ki kashe ni, wallahi ba laifi na bane ba, yace kuma in na gaya miki sai ya kashe ni" nace "laifin uban waye to? Huh? In baki gaya min ba ni kuma zan kashe ki din, ko ki mutu yanzu ko kuma ki mutu in ya kamaki sai ki zabi daya" 

Cikin rawar murya tace "sau daya ne wallahi, kuma ba laifi na bane ba, shine yazo ranar nan ba kya nan, yace in bashi kaina zai bani kudi, yace kuma in ban gaya miki ba zai aure ni, yace kuma in na gaya miki zai kashe ni"

And that was my limit..........................

Ga masu son siya zasu iya turo kudin su #300 zuwa wannan account din

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*From the readers*

Kamar yadda nace zan ke kawo labarai daga masu karatu, wadanda suka shiga exact or similar situation as Jidda, tare da fatan sauran masu karatu zasu dauki one or two lessons from them. Please mutanen nan suna cikin groups din mu, in kin san ba zaki fadi alkhairi ba dan Allah kiyi shiru.

*1*

Assalamu alaikum 
sannu d kokari mm... jidda jarabawarta kennan Allah ya Bata ikon cin shi with Straight As amin..
Waenda ke magana ga jin Dadi ga daula Basu taba shiga irin abun bane so bazasu gane ba amma koni na salamawa umar🤮💔💔 Don abun nashi God forbid it...
  
   Na samu kaina a same situation,  Nashi was drugs 💔💔💔sai already he was a womanizer dama, so abun yayi Mana yawwa😰. babana kaman na jidda shima d munyi dare ya Fara sunturi kenan😃 Yana tsoron a koro mashi 'ya gida. Nima na gwada gayawa mamansa case din drugs din tun sanda ya fara dan muyi tacling matsalar da wuri, sai na dauki waya na kirata nace idan wane ya kwanta tun jiya sai ya wuni bai sallah, abun babu dadin Fadi, d ta dauki waya tace Mai kazo Ina nemanka sai Yana ta gujewa d ta gaji d rashin zuwanshi sai tace toh ai sai kazo Don matarkace ta kawo kararka, baya gida sai ya dawo wai me kikace ma Haj nace me kuwa? Sai ya kirata sai ta Soma cewa ita me tace nace, kuma babbar mace ce sosai da shine karamin danta, yaje ya gaya mata karya da gaskiya ni ban san me suka yi ba tunda bana gurin, a rannan ta ce wai ai bana kiranta sai zan tayar nata d  hankali🙄🤔🤔 nace ni kuwa yar mama d baba ban Kara kiranta na daina...muka koma kaman jidda d mama🥴 daga nace ki Fadi ma danki gaskiya d tun a lokacin anyi bincike d ba a kai nan b.... Kaman yanda mama ta kawo me tona mata  asiri haka baban **** made it to d dailies....

I left the house ba a zo anji why ba cz when I concluded cewa yana yi just as jidda did, na daya na biyu d next one I was ready to give up d marriage and I did, So nayi parking babu Wanda yazo yace me ya faru, muka ta saka ido tunda sun san maybe asirinsu zai tonu sai basuzo b and the mum said duk Wanda yazo Allah ya isa😊. Baba na ya bi elder brother dinshi yace me ya faru me ake ciki? he's a step bro so I think he backed out. 

So d baba ya tashi he went to a sharia court yace gashi yarshi na gida 6months baya son ta koma gidan wani ya za ayi? Sai akace sai dai yayi min khulki(na mayar d sadakin d na karba lokacin aure) sai baba yace toh, but still an tura mashi sammaci akan yazo aji ta bakinshi sai basu zo b

Ran d akace mu koma naje ni kadai he didn't show up, aka Kara tura mashi still be zo b sai alkali ya ce mu dawo rana kaza sai baba yaje yazo d waliyanshi, toh tunda an bada date d za ayi finilizing sai ga waliyy yazo min da takarda wai ya rubuto min saki daya in na samu miji nayi aure and ya yafe sadakin ba sai na biya b

So sai alkali yace dole sai an bani certificate of divorce akan shi alkalin ne ya raba auren bisa khulki, alkali ya raba aure ya bani certificate showing khulki akayi yace in ba'a bani ba he can say gobe ya mayar d ni Kuma na maidu

So khulki is refunding d sadakin to the husband sai ya bama alkali ikon raba aure ama idan ya yafe it's ok in bai yafe b sai an mayar. In akayi khulki miji bashi da ikon cewa ya mayar da matarsa ko da kuwa tana idda ne, sai dai in ta gama in an daidaita sai a sake sabon daurin aure ya sake biyan wani sadakin.

Shi abun da a ke cewa sharri nayi mashi shi abun sai gashi an dora shi a goggle, ko yanxu kukayi yanzu zai fito, banji Dadi ba Don na haifi yara har biyu MAZA❤️❤️ ama sai nace toh ga sharri d akace nayi mashi shi duniyace ta wankeni😊... 

D ace za a zauna d ƴa ko matar ɗa a saurari maganar su d za a shawo kan matsalan, kaman nawa tun baiyi nisa b d mahaifan sa sun dage d dua d yazo d sauki amma aka ce wace ni?😰 karku manta shine uban 'ya'ya na to an extent ai mu mata munfi iyayensu son gyaruwarsu ko akasin haka Don tsatson su d suka biyo ta mu... To cut d lonnnnnnng story short ko last week an kirani akace ai Naga wane a youtube ashe haka ya faru nace walhi mun rabu yanzu 4 years+ amma d aka tashi one random person haka ni ya Kira, I felt bad for his kids Don suma Kila a samu me kiransu yace ashe kaine Dan wane kenan💔💔😭😭 bamuzo ma wurin neman auren su ba...ko neman aiki/takara lokacin za a tuno maka d abun d ba kai kayi b😊 

Nayi aure na yanzu alhamdulillah to the husband da a guri na is the best in the world, ba shi da problem sai ajizanci irin na dan adam. An I am over wancan case din. Kuma yayana suna hannuna.
  
Jidda Allah ya Baki saa ya zaba maki abun d yafi alheri
   Ki rufe kunenki Don Zaki sha zagi zaki sha magana ki dauki na dauka ki bar musu sauran,nima nasan sai nasha amma babu komai

  Kuyi hakuri d dogon sharhi na💪🏼💪🏼💪🏼
Writing this got me a lot relieved even though I'm over it. But ai jiki d Jini and seeing my boy sometimes reminds me of it. And d call na last week 😊🤔 sai naji tausayinshi dana ya kamani.

If jidda is still in this mess she needs to b strong for her kids coz d hustle out here is real 😰

*2*

Jidda touched me sosai da sosai ina karantawa ina dariyar takaici saboda tunawa da abubuwan da suka faru Dani, nikam sam ban samu mafita ba, September na gudo gida nace na gaji, karshe sai babana ne ya karba min takarda da kyar a November yanzu har na gama idda ta na fara kiba abuna



*Wannan littafin na siyarwa bisa amana ne, idan baki siya ba kar ki karanta, idan kuma kin siya kar kiyi sharing, in kika yi kinci amana kuma ke da Allah*

*The fourth Step*

Na saki kwalar rigar Asabe daga hannuna, ko kuma ince rigar ta zame daga hannuna dan ban ma san cewa na sake ta ba sai da naga asaben ta yi baya da sauri tana neman hanyar barin kitchen din. Jiri nake ji yana dibana, yawun baki na gabakidaya yayi hijira sai bile mai daci da yayi replacing dinsa. Duhu nake gani a idona, na fara lalube ina neman abinda zan dafa dan kar in fadi, hannuna ya sauka akan cabinet din kitchen din, na dafa da hannu daya daya hannun kuma na dafe kaina dashi ina ambaton "innalillahi wa inna ilaihir rajiun"  Allah nake kira ina neman daukin sa dan shi kadai ne zai taimaka min a lokacin saboda shi kadai ya san halin da nake ciki, shi kaɗai yasan abinda nake ji a zuciyata sai kuma wadda ta samu kanta a cikin yanayi irin wadda na samu kaina a ciki a lokacin.

Wani irin bacin rai nake ji yana tasowa daga zuciyata yana zarce wa har cikin kwakwalwa ta, a tare da bacin rai akwai tsantsar tsanar wanda da nake ji kamar nafi sonsa a duk cikin mazan duniya bayan mahaifina. Mutumin dana kwashe shekara shida ina kiran sa da mijina shi kuma yana kirana da matarsa, mutumin da a yanzu yake a matsayin uban yayana guda biyu kuma mutumin da bayan ni yayana suka fi so fiye da kowa a duniya. 

Hawayena ya sauka akan hannayena da suke kan cabinet din, na kalli hawayen ina ayyanawa a raina cewa sune na karshe da zan zubar a kansa. Na zubar da hawaye sunyi cikin jarka a kansa amma wadannan sune na karshe. Na gama. Am done. 

Dariyar Asad najiyo ta shigo kitchen din daga window tana ratsa cikin zurfin tunani na kamar kibiya on fire, kamar tunatarwa cewa I can't say that, I can't make that decision, kamar tunatarwa cewa ba rayuwata kadai wannan hukuncin zai taba ba har da rayuwar innocent yayana. Are they ready to face that?

Na juya ina kallon window din, a lokaci daya muka hada ido dashi shima yana kallon na da Asad a hannun sa gefensa kuma Yasmin tana rike da skipping rope a hannunta, na tsaya kawai ina kallon sa ina jin wutar kiyayyar sa tana kara ruruwa kamar ana zuba mata fetur a cikin zuciyata. 
Fuskarsa da murmushi ya rada wa Asad wata magana a kunne sai Asad ya dago min hannu alamar kira "mommy come and join us, ki zo muyi wasa, Daddy zaiyi wasa tare da mu" ya karasa maganar tare da mannawa Umar kiss a goshinsa.

Nayi saurin dauke kaina tare da juya baya na na daina kallon su "in time zasu koyi rayuwa ba tare da daddyn su ba" wata zuciyar ta gaya min "Baby Dove. Come out and show us if you still have it in you" naji muryarsa ya fada da alamar dariya a muryarsa da kuma tsokana. Idona ya sauka a kan set din wukake na da suke ajjiye a maadanar su, wata zuciyar tana gaya min "dauki babbar ciki kije ki soka masa a zuciyarsa, kamar yadda ya soka miki time and time again"

Hannuna ya sauka kan wukar na dauko ta na juya ina kallon inda suke, suna iya hango ni amma ba zasu iya karanta emotions dina daga can ba. "Mommy daddy yana tsokanar ki wai ba zaki iya skipping ba" Yasmin ta sake fada da karfi. Na juya na sake kallon su, duk su ukun dariya suke and they look so happy together, na kalli hannuna rike da wuka, wukar dana dauka amma ban ma san na dauka din ba, wukar da zuciyata take gaya min in je in chakawa mijina a gaban yayan mu. Na sake ta ta fadi kasa ina jin kamar nima in bita mu fadi tare, har yanzu dariya suke yi suna cigaba da kiran sunana. 

And I knew wannan daukan wukar da nayi shine na farko amma ba lallai ya zama na karshe ba in dai har na cigaba da zama da Faruq, nasan cewa there will be only two ways out of our marriage in dai na cigaba da hakurin da kullum ake gaya min a kunnuwa na, ko dai in kashe Umar ko kuma shi ya kashe ni da bakin cikin sa, either way yayan mu zasu taso da tabon cewa daya daga cikin mahaifan su ne ya kashe dayan. 

"I must get out, now" zuciyata ta kuma gaya min. A hankali na ce "am sorry Yasmin, am sorry Asad" sai kuma na juya da sauri mai hade da gudu na bar kitchen din na wuce falo na tafi bedroom dina, niyya ta ina shiga in fada gado inyi kuka kamar yadda na saba a duk lokacin da Umar yayi aika aikar sa, amma wannan karon sai na ji na kasa karasawa kan gadon nawa, naji kafafuwa na sunyi giving up a tsakiyar dakin, na durkusa a gurin hannayena duk biyun a dafe da kirjina kamar mai kokarin rike zuciyata da hana ta fadowa kan cinyata, dan irin bugun da take yi da ace ba rike take da jijiyoyi ba da tabbas zan ganta a gabana and that will be the end of me. "In baki bar Faruq ba tabbas Faruq zai kashe ki wata rana, zai kashe ki da bakin cikin sa" na tuno kalaman  Farhan. "In kin mutu karkarinta ayi sadakar arba'in dinki, wata zai kawo dakin ki, ya debi yayanki ya bata dan kin san babu mai hana shi karbar yaya, ita kuma ta gana musu azaba son ranta". Inji wani sashe na zuciyata

Na dauke hannayena daga kan kirjina ina girgiza kaina ina magana a hankali kamar tababbiya "ba zaka kashe ni ba Umar, I won't let you" na mike sai kuma jiri ya debe ni na sake zubewa a gurin. Wai Asabe, Umarul Faruq wai Asabe, tabbas idan bai kashe ni da bakin ciki ba zai kashe ni da cutar da zai kwaso a wani gurin ya shafa min, in yaso in mun mutu duka a rabawa dangi yayan mu. 

Motsin kofa naji, ban dago kai na daga kan carpet ba amma kamshin sa da rashin sallama ya saka na fahimci shine. "Baby, muna jiran ki fa, ko kinyi giving up ne?" Ya fada cikin raha. Ban dago kai ba amma ji nake kamar wani mala'ikan mutuwa ne ya shigo dakin, tabbas in bai fita ba, in ya bari na kama shi tabbas sai  na nakasa shi, in ya sake yi min magana da wannan muryar tashi tabbas zan iya fasa bedside lamp a tsakiyar kansa. 

Hannunsa da naji a bayana ne ya saka na zabura da sauri kamar wadda aka dorawa garwashin wuta a jiki. Tsaye na mike ina nuna shi da hannu amma maganar ta kasa fitowa daga bakina sai hawaye da yake bin kuncina. Ido ya zaro waje yana kallon fuskata. "Jidda? Lafiya? Are You sick?" Ya jero min tambayoyin guda uku da bani da niyyar amsa ko daya daga cikin su. 

"Kar ka sake" na samu harshe na ya furta, "kar ka sake ambaton sunana daga yau, kar ka sake tunanin ka sanni, in ka sake yi min magana Allah ya isa" mamaki ya bayyana a fuskarsa. "Jidda?" Ya fada da sauri cikin mamaki, da alama bai ji warning dina ba. 

Bansan lokacin dana karasa gabansa ba, ban kuma san sanda na aikata ba sai dana ji karar mari a kunnena sannan na fahimci marin sa nayi. Sai a lokacin na samu kukan da yaki zuwa gabaki daya ya taho. Ya juya da sauri, a tunani na marin da nayi masa ne ya saka zai fita amma sai naga ya rufe kofar dakin da sauri ya juyo yana kallo na. Of cause, babban tashin hankalin sa shine yayansa, babban abinda zai tayar masa da hankali shine yayansa su fahimci akwai problem a cikin their lovely painted happy family.

Ya dawo da sauri yana kokarin kama hannuna. "Jidda lafiya? Mai kuma nayi? Talk to me" idan da wani zai gan mu a lokacin zai yi tunanin babu wadda tayi dacen miji iri na, mijin da zai tashi hankalin sa idan yaga kukan matarsa, mijinda matarsa zata daga hannu ta mare shi amma ko gezau bai nuna ba.

Na ture hannun sa daga jikina, har abada jikina ya haramta a gare shi kuma. An gama. Na dago ido ina kallon sa, zuciyata tana kara kuna a lokacin da idona ya sauka akan fuskarsa. It hurts so much idan mutumin da ka tattara soyayyar ka akansa ya kuma kasance wanda yafi kowa hurting dinka. Am done. But still ya kamata inji his side of the story right? Albarkacin yayan mu ya kamata in bashi damar yi min bayani right? Albarkacin soyayya, soyayya da nake masa, soyayya da yake min.

"Asabe?" Na furta a tsakiyar kuka, "me ya faru tsakanin ka da Asabe?" 

Irin yadda jini ya dauke daga farar fuskarsa ta koma kamar takarda, da yadda idonsa ya tsaya tsak a kaina shock a rubuce a duk angle na fuskarsa ya saka na gama fahimtar amsarsa. It did happen. Na rufe bakina da hannuna, kukan ma ya tsaya. Muka tsaya chirko chirko muna kallon juna lallai ta bahaushe da yace wargi ma guri shikai. 

Ina kallon sa yana kokarin harhada kalamansa sannan ya tattaro duk wani bravo da yake ganin yana da shi yace "nothing happened" but I know he is lying, yanayin fuskarsa kadai ya tabbatar min da cewa he is lying. Shi abinda bai sani ba shine sam sam bai iya karya ba, duk sanda yayi min karya sai na gane saboda sam bai iya pretending ba, ko da zaiyi karyar da baki amma abinda fuskarsa zata nuna daban. And right now, he is lying.

Na juya da sauri na daina kallon sa dan zuciyata ba zata  iya cigaba da kallon sa ba, in kuwa na cigaba to tabbas abinda nake gudu zai faru, zan fadi in mutu da bakin cikin sa. Da sauri na karasa gaban wardrobe dina na bude na fara watso kayana zuwa kan gado na. Ya taho yana kokarin rufewa, na juyo a fusace "ka matsa ka bani guri tun kafin inyi maka rauni" ya kama hannuna yana dukan fuskarsa dashi "hit me, hit me all you want but listen to me. Nothing happened. Na rantse miki da Allah nothing happened. Babu abinda ya faru karya take yi" 

Na kwace hannuna tare da goge su a jikin zani na kamar wadda aka shafa wa datti, nace "nothing happened? Kamar yadda nothing happened a tsakanin ka da Mammy, tsakanin ka da Maryam, tsakanin ka da Zahra ko kuma kamar yadda nothing happened tsakanin ka da zuwaira? Ko tsakanin ka da sauran wadanda na manta da sunansu ko kuma tsakanin ka da wadanda ban ma sani ba? Wanne daga cikin nothing happened din kake so in dauka?" Na fada cikin karajin da na tabbatar mai gadi ma ya jiyo. 

Yayi kokarin toshe min baki yana zaro ido cike da tsoro, idanunsa kamar zasu fado, nasan tsoron me yake ji, nasan babban abinda yafi tsoro sama da komai shine kar yayansa suji, kar yayansa su gani. "Shshsh" yace yana doya yatsansa akan lebensa "the kids! Kiyi magana a hankali" nayi murmushin takaici ina girgiza kaina. "The kids" na maimaita. "Your kids. Shin ko ka manta ni ma yar wani ce? Ko ka manta Wadannan matan da na lissafa maka duk yayan wasu ne? Ko ka manta yarinyar can Asabe yar wani ce ita ma?" 

Ya sake kokarin toshe min baki yana kallon kofa sannan ya kalli taga hankalinsa a matukar tashe, yana girgiza kansa. "I didn't. Na gaya miki karya take yi. Haba Jidda, believe me, Asabe fa muke magana akai, wannan kazamar yarinyar, this is so insulting to even think about haba Jidda. Na rantse miki, wallahi, na rantse da Allah......." Na ture hannunsa daga bakina na koma gaban wardrobe na cigaba da watso kayana zuwa kan gado "ka rantse kace, as if rantsuwar ka is worth anything to me. Ka rantse da Allah kace, Allahn da kake sabawa at the slightest chance da ka samu? Ta yaya kake tunanin rantsuwar da zaka yi min dashi zata ba da wata ma'ana a gurina" 

Ya biyo ni ya rike hannuna da hannu daya yana rufe kofar wardrobe din da daya hannun. "Jidda! Ya fada yana girgiza ni kamar mai kokarin dawo dani hayyacina. "Think with your head, not your heart please. Asabe fa kike zargina da ita" na tsaya ina kallon sa cikin ido, ina kallon yadda yake struggling with his inner self yana son yayi maintening innocent look dinsa. A hankali kuma a nutse nace 

"ba Asabe ba umarul faruq, ko akuya ce aka daura mata zani aka kuma shafa mata jan baki to in ka ganta sai ka bita ballantana mace, yarinya karama mai jini a jika kamar Asabe"

Ya sake ni a hankali, ina lura da yadda kamannin fuskarsa suka juya daga innocent zuwa bacin rai, tabbas magana ta ta bata masa rai ni kuma hakan ya faranta min, and I am looking forward to fada masa wadansu masu zafin da zasu cigaba da bata masa rai kamar haka. Yayi taku biyu baya yana kallona sannan ya juya da sauri ya fita daga dakin. 

Akwati na na cika da kayana, sannan na dauko babbar jaka na fara zuba kayan yayana a ciki, ina yi ina magana ni kadai kamar tababbiya, "na gama, na gama aurenka Faruq. Ko da duniyar nan zasu taru a kaina ba zan dawo gidan ka ba. Kuma ba zan bar maka yayana ba ko da kuwa bara zanyi in ciyar dasu" babu ko ninki haka nake watsa kayan a cikin jakar.

Kofa naji an turo da karfi an shigo still ba tare da sallama ba, na dago da niyyar in sauke masa kwandon bala'i sai naga Yasmin tana kallo na fuskar ta cike da tsoro. "Mommy yanzu naga Daddy ya shiga dakin Asabe da belt a hannunsa, dukanta zai yi?" Na yar da kayan da suke hannuna ina kallon yarinyar da take tsaye gaba na. 

Umar bai taba daga hannunsa ya dake ni ba ballantana yayan mu, ni ko tsawa ma zance ban taba jin yayi mana ba. Ihun Asabe ne ya saka na kalli kofa da sauri "wayyo mommy ki taimake ni" ban jira komai ba na fita da sauri, na shiga uku, kar ya kashe yar mutane, wannan cin zali har ina? Ga mari ga kuma tsinka jaka? 

Ai kuwa abinda na tarar kenan. Ya rike ta da hannu daya dayan hannun kuma yana lafta mata belt din hannunsa. Na rike hannun duk da nasan ba wai karfina ne ya rike shi ba, ya tsaya ne kawai saboda gani na, fuskarsa murtuk idonsa yayi ja, Asabe ta koma bayana tana soshe soshen dukan da ta riga ta karba kafin in zo. Na nuna shi da dan yatsa na nace "duk hannunka daka saka a jikin ta bai ishe ka ba sai ka kuma sakawa da niyyar duka? To wallahi bar ganin Yasmin da Asad da suke tsakanin mu, idan ka kuma dora hannun ka a jikinta sai na hada ka da hisba" 

Ya bini da kallo, mamaki fal a cikin idonsa sannan ya mayar da dubansa kan Asabe yace "ki bar gidan nan, kafin in shiga daki in fito" 

Ya juya ya fita, na zare hannun Asabe daga jikina ba tare dana kalli fuskarta ba na fita. Haka kawai ganin su a tare a dakin sai naji kwakwalwa ta tana painting scenes iri iri, irin wadanda zuciya ta ba zata iya dauka ba. Na fita da sauri ina rufe bakina. Anan ne abin ya kasance ko a dakinsa? Kan gadon da muke kwanciya ni da shi? Kukan da nayi rantsuwa na daina shine ya taso min, nayi saurin shiga daki har da turo kofa amma ina juyawa da niyyar yin kuka na sai naga Yasmin a tsaye a gaban kayan da bake hadawa. Asad tsaye a gefenta suna kallona.

"Mommy ina zamu je" Asad ya tambaya
"Mommy what's going on? Are you crying?" Yasmin ta tambaya
"Ko Daddy ne ya dake ki? Naji kukan Asabe Daddy yana dukan ta" Asad ya sake tambaya
"Mommy fada kuka yi da Daddy ko? Irin wanda kuka yi ranar nan ko? Ba kunyi min alkawarin kun daina fada ba?" Yasmin ta sake tambaya.

Na hadiye kukana, na share hawayen da already ya fara gangarowa zuwa kuncina sannan na kirkiri murmushi. 

That's one of the hardest things dana taba yi a rayuwata but for my children I can do more than that. Na durkusa a gaban su ina rarraba ido a tsakanin su. Zaman da nake yi a gidan nan after all that has been happening saboda su ne, and yanzun ma tafiyar da zamuyi saboda su ne. Na shafa fuskokin su a tare nace "tafiya zamuyi, zamuje gidan Umma" Asad yayi tsalle "su Muhsin (dan yaya Hudallah, sa'an Asad) zasu je suma? Mommy zan iya tafiya da game dina muyi tare da su ko?" Na gyada masa kai, bai jira sauran amsa ta ba ya yi hanyar waje da sauri yana cewa "bara inje in harhada kayan wasa na" ya juyo yana nuna ni "mommy kar fa ku tafi ku barni, yanzu zan dawo". 

Bayan ya fita na dawo da kallona kan Yasmin, har yanzu da kirkirar ren murmushi a fuskata. Amma kallon da take min ne ya saka murmushin ya gudu ya barni. "Whats going on?" Ta sake tambaya ta. Bance mata komai ba saboda bansan me zance mata ba. Mamakin ta kawai nake yi, kamar kullum she is acting matured, tamkar kwakwalwar ta tafi shekarun ta girma. "Gidan Abba zamuje, na sake fada mata, we are going to be living there for a while" "Daddy kuma fa?" Ta tambaya. Na mike tsaye ina cigaba da hada kayan mu. "Mommy daddy kuma fa? Bin mu zaiyi ko shi kadai zamu bari a gida?" 

Na juyo a fusace tare da nuna ta da yatsa "shut your mouth. Mai shegen iyayi. In kika sake min wata tambayar sai na fasa bakin ki" ta tabe baki sannan ta samu bakin gado ta zauna tare da folding hannayenta tana bina da kallo har na gama abinda nake na fito musu da kayan sanyi na mika mata "ki saka sweater da hula da socks, sai ki kira Asad ya saka nasa" ta karba tana cewa "mommy yanzu zamu tafi? Ba zamu bari sai gobe ba? Magrib ta kusa fa" na watsa mata harara sannan na jawo ta na fara saka mata da kaina. She is right, magrib ta kusa sanyi kuma ya fara kadawa. Gari ya fara duhu, but am not going to spend another night breathing the same air with Umar. I rather take my chances with the cold.

Shigowar sa ta saka muka dago a tare muka kalle shi. Yasmin tayi saurin matsawa daga kusa da ni ta tafi gurinsa "Daddy wai gidan Abba zamuje inji mommy. Daddy ni bana son zuwa bana son tafiya in barka ni nafi son zama a gurinka" ta karasa tana matsar hawaye. She has always been daddy's girl tun tana baby. Ya durkusa a gaban ta. "Babu inda zaki je kinji baby girl? Kina tare da daddyn ki. Now go and watch TV a falo zanyi magana da mommy" ta juya ta kalle ni sannan ta fita da sauri, I noticed tayi relaxing, maganar sa ta kwantar mata da hankali.

Sai data rufe kofa sannan ya juyo kaina inda nake kokarin rufe windows "Jidda, please don't do this. In ba kya son ganina I can leave the house for you har sai kin sauko zuciyarki tayi sanyi sai in dawo. Please ba dan ni ba ko dan yaran nan kar ki raba musu hankalin su dan Allah. Kar kije ki tayar da hankalin su Abba a kan maganar da bata taka kara ta karya ba. Karya ce yarinyar nan tayi miki, I told you koma me tace nayi karya take banyi ba, I don't know me yasa zaki dauki maganar ta ki bar tawa ni a matsayina na mijinki. I don't....." 

Na daga masa hannu "ya ishe ka haka. Ganin ka ma a gabana bata min rai yake yi ballantana sauraron muryarka. Please ni ba fahimtar ma me kake cewa nake yi ba dan yanxu am beyond reasoning. Go away please, kaje dakinka ko kitchen ko dakin Asabe..... anywhere but inda bazan ganka ba har in gama abinda zan yi in fita. Then you are free to do koma menene zakayi.  You are free ka kawo mata har cikin gidan ka ma ba zan cigaba da zama shamaki a gare ka ba. Do whatever you want, I don't care. Am done caring"

Yanayin fuskarsa zai iya saka mai saurin kuka ya fashe da kuka ba tare da yaji karin bayani ba. The same look da yake using a duk lokacin da nayi mishi irin wannan kamun. "Jidda please, give me one more chance. One more chance. In na kuma wasa da wannan damar na yarda kiyi min komai ma. One last chance please......" 

Nayi dan gajeren murmushi. "Last chances dinka guda nawa ne a duniya Faruq?........am done" na zuge jakar kayan na fara kokarin dauka. Ya rike hannuna biyu na nasa guda biyu, "Dan Allah dan Allah fa nace Jidda. Ni fa mijinki ne kuma nace miki ki duba Allah kiyi hakuri. Ki bani dama inyi miki bayani Jidda, wallahi banyi abinda kike tunani ba, wallahi karya take yi, darajar yayan da suke tsakanin mu. In ci darajar su please ko ban ci darajar soyayya ba, ko ban ci darajar son da nake miki ba. Kin sani Jidda, kin san ba zan iya rayuwa babu ke ba Jidda, in kika bar no bansan yadda zanyi ba, ban san me zan zama ba, kar ki yanke min hukuncin kisa ba tare da kinji nawa side of the story din ba"

Sai ya cika hannuna daya ya kamo bayan wuyana da hannunsa, hannun da naji ya dauki zafi kamar gasashshen naman da aka sauke shi daga wuta yanzu. Na tabbatar da za'a auna temperature dinsa a asibiti to kuwa tabbas za'a bashi gado, kamar yadda da za'a auna bp dina nima za'a bani gado, sannan ya dora bakinsa da sauri akan nawa ya na kissing dina as heated as yadda jikinsa ya dauki zafi.

Da farko kiss dinsa ya shige ni, as usual, kamar yadda kalaman sa suka fara shigata as usual. But sai ƙwaƙwalwa ta ta aiyano min bakin Asabe, musamman farkon zuwanta gidan lokacin da har sai dana hanata magana a kusa dani saboda warin da bakinta yake yi. Sai dana takura mata da yin brush sau biyu a rana sannan muka samu sa'ida, sannan bakin ta ya fara zama irin na mutane.

Wani amai naji ya taho min mai zafi, na fara kokarin ture shi amma yaki shikani, yunkurin aman da nayi ne ya saka yayi saurin saki na, Allah ya taimake shi, badan haka ba da tabbas na juye masa taliyar da naci da rana a cikin bakinsa, na shiga toilet da sauri na juye ta a can. Na wanke bakina da fuskata ina kokarin kawar da hoton bakin Asabe daga zuciyata, in ba haka ba aman ba zai tsaya ba saboda ni mutun ce mai tsananin tsantsani. I wonder yadda na iya zama da Faruq har tsahon shekara shida. Lallai ba karamin so nake yi masa ba. But not anymore.

Na fito da face towel a hannuna ina goge fuskata da hannayena, yana tsaye a inda na barshi kamar mutum mutumi fuskar sa cike da mamaki yace "did you just......." Na karasa masa "vomit, because you kissed me. Yes. And that ought to assure you that it really is over between us" na dauki hijabi na na saka, na rataya handbag dina sannan na kinkimi jakar kayan yarana na kuma ja hannun akwatin kayana nazo na wuce shi na fita.

A falo naga Yasmin a zaune a kan kujera ta zubawa kofar dakin da muke ciki ido, hawaye a fuskar ta wasu suna bin bayan wasu. Ina fitowa ta mike tsaye sannan ta kalli kayan da na fito dasu tace "mommy fada kuke da Daddy ko?" Ban bata amsa ba. Asad ya fito daga dakin da yake matsayin nasu duk da dai ba zama suke yi a ciki ba sai dai in zasu yi wasa , hannayensa cike da tarkacen kayan wasan sa fuskarsa cike da annashuwa, na karbi kayan na zuzzuba a aljihun jakar kayansu shi kuma ya zuba wasu a pockets dinsa. Na saka masa sweater da socks na hannu dana kafa, sannan na saka masa hula na rufe masa har kunnuwan sa. "Oya muje" 

Ina kallon Yasmin tana kallon kofar dakina, kuma jikina ya bani yana tsaye a gurin amma ban waiga ba kuma bani da niyyar waigawa. Naji tace "Daddy!" Sai naji muryarsa yace "go, Yasmin, go with your mother, zan zo anjima da daddare in taho daku gabakidaya" naji kamar in juya in gaya masa magana amma na daure saboda idon yara. Bama taba musayar magana a gaban yara. 

Na tisa keyar yarana har waje, a lokacin ne na lura kofar dakin Asabe a bude kuma bata ciki, ko a jikina ban damu ba, ban dau da inda ta tafi ba ko kuma abinda zai faru da ita ba, alhakin ta yana yuwan wadda ta kawo ta gidan.

Muna fita compound automatically muka tafi inda mota ta take fake kusa da tasa, sai kuma zuciyata ta ayyana min wani abu, shi ya sayi motar, in dai har zan rabu dashi ya kamata in fara koyan rayuwa ba tare da shi ba. Sai na juya nayi hanyar gate, ina jin Yasmin tana jero min tambaya, Asad yace "mommy a motar haya zamu tafi?" Nace masa "eh" yayi tsalle "cool! This is amazing!" 

Na jiyo takunsa da sauri ya biyo bayanmu. "Jidda Jidda Jidda. Jidda please don't punish these kids. Kar ki fita dasu a cikin sanyin nan, ina zaku samu mota yanzu a nan? Dan Allah ki shiga motar ki, ni ki bani inyi driving din in driving din ne ba kya son yi. Dan Allah" na watsa masa wani mugun kallo ina kankance idona a kansa, maganganu da dama suna forming a zuciyata amma ina danne su saboda yara, kamar yadda nake komai saboda yara. 
Yayi kokarin rike hannu na not minding kallon da nayi masa "kin san baki da lafiyar numfashi Jidda, idan ciwonki ya tashi a hanya me kike tunanin zai faru? Ya kike so inyi da raina?" 

Nayi gaba na barshi ina hada hannun akwati da hannun Yasmin ina ja a tare. Sai ya sunkuya ya dauki Asad ya dora shi a kafadar sa yana gyara masa hularsa, sannan ya biyo bayana ya zare jakar kayan daga hannuna. Na bar masa saboda mun fito bakin layi bana son creating scene musamman saboda mutane da suke tafiya masjid dan har amfara kiraye kirayen sallah. Na ja hijab dina na rufe rabin fuskata na sunkuyar da kaina kasa ina zabga sauri. Ina jinsa suna gaisawa da mutane a duk inda muka wuce, few suna tambayarsa dalilin da suka ganmu a kasa da kaya haka, shi kuma yana bada amsa da mota ta lalace. A ciki harda wanda yayi offering zai dauko tasa motar ya kaimu.

Muna fita titi ya sauke Asad sannan ya fara kokarin tare mana Napep, wani ya tsara ya bashi address din gidan Abba sannan ya dauko kudi ya bashi yayin da ni kuma na saka yayana a ciki ina kokarin daukan kaya yazo da sauri ya dauka ya saka a ciki sannan ya bani guri na shiga, ya durkusa ya ja min skirt dina ya rufe min kafafuwana, yana kallon Yasmin yace "share hawayen ki kinji sweetheart. Zanzo an jima in taho daku gabaki dayan ku" ya karasa maganar yana kallona, Sannan ya kai hannunsa da niyyar gyara min hijab ya rufe min hanci da shi, na dauke kaina gefe, ya sauke hannunsa yace "akwai hazo jidda, kar ciwonki ya tashi" bance komai ba kuma ban kalle shi ba sai yayi taku biyu baya ya bawa mai Napep damar tayarwa muka tafi.

A hanya Asad ne yake ta hirarsa shi kadai, yana ta lissafa abokan sa da zasu yi wasa har da yayan makotan da ni ban ma san su ba. Lokaci zuwa lokaci ina bashi amsa with hope cewa zaiyi shiru ya bar ni da tunani na amma baiyi ba kamar wanda aka sakawa batir. 

This is my step four, abinda na jima ina lissafin zanyi indai har abubuwa suka cigaba da tafiya a yadda suke. Amma yanzu da lokacin yazo, yanzu da na riga na dauki niyyar yin abin, sai naji dukkan confidence dina babu shi, ban san me zan ce a gida ba, ban san me zance da Abba ba, ta ina zan fara? Kuma a ina zan tsaya? Komai da komai zan fada ko kuma akwai abinda ya kamata in cire?

Ban sani ba, abinda na sani kawai shine na gama auren Umar. Ko za'a daka ni a turmi kuma a tankade ba zan koma gidan sa ba.

A haka har muka je gida. Na sauka, na sauke yaran sannan mai Napep ya sauke min kayana ya tafi. Na tsaya na seconds ina kallon gidan da anan aka haife ni anan na girma anan ne kuma iyayena suke har yanzu. Am I really ready for the life ahead of me? Are my children ready? Can I? Can they?

A tsakar gida na samu Hajiya tana alwala, na gaishe ta ina kallon dakinta tare da expecting Farhan zata leko, ko sallah take yi? Ta amsa tana tsokanar Asad shi kuma ya fara yi mata surutu, na lura da yadda take bin kayanmu da kallo fuskarta da wani yanayi da na kasa tantance wa. Na wuce zuwa dakin Umma da kayan, na tarar tana sallah a falo, Amira tana kwance akan kujera da littafin hausa a hannunta. Ta mike da sauri tana yi min sannu da zuwa sannan ta fita ta dauko Asad ta shigo dashi tana dungure masa kai "mai shegen surutun nan. Yaje sai zuba yake kamar fanfon daya lalace" ya turo baki zaiyi kuka na fita na barsu. Toilet na shiga a tsakar gida na fito nayi alwala nima na shiga na tayar da sallah. Ina cikin yi naji sallamar Abba ya shigo.

Ina idarwa ko addu'a banyi ba naji ya shigo falon. "Hauwa'u? Ina Hauwa'un take? Ke Jidda?" Umma tace "sallah take yi, bata idar ba" nayi saurin shafa addu'a na juyo. "Abba ina....." Ya daga min hannu "menene naji ance kin shigo gidan nan da kaya? Wanki za'a yi muku ko kuma kayan bayarwa ne kuka kawo?"

Na sunkuyar da kaina, hawayen nan da basa jin magana ta suka fara bin fuskata. "Kuka?" Umma ta tambaya. "Jidda me ya faru? Yaji kika yi?" "Yaji?" Naji muryar Hajiya a bakin kofa "kash! Amma wannan abu baiyi dadi ba. Yaji kika yi ko kuma sakin ki yayi? Allah dai yasa ba sakin bane ba?" Na dago kai na kalle ta ina jin wani irin zafi a zuciyata, fuskarta cike da farin ciki. Umma ta mike tana rike kugu "sai dai kiga saki akan yayanki ba dai akan Jidda ba wallahi. Aniyarki ta koma kanki" 

Abba ya kama fada "to sarakan masifa, an girma ba'a san an girma ba. Kun gama yin fada a gaban yayanku kun koma yi a gaban jikoki dan abin kunya" duk suka dauke kai gefe suka yi shiru.  Amira ta faki idonsa ta murguda wa Hajiya baki a hankali tace "haka kawai ba a kasa da mutum ba yazo yana diba" Yasmin ta taso ta dawo kusa dani ta zagaye ni da hannayenta ta saka fuskarta a wuyana, ina jinta tana sheshshekar kuka.

Abba ya kuma nuna ni da hannu "magana nake miki fa? Ko kin zama kurma ne yau. Kayan me kika shigo dasu? Me ya kawo ki gidan nan da magriba?" Ban amsa ba still, dan tun a hanya nake gada kalaman da zan gaya masa amma basu hadu ba. Jin nayi shiru ya saka ya dauko wayarsa daga aljihunsa sa, gaba na ya fadi, he is not going to call Umar is he? Maganar na naji yayi ta tabbatar min da fargaba ta.
"Doctor lafiya kuwa muka ga Jidda da kaya?" 
"Babu abinda ta gaya mana kuma mu babu abinda muke so muji. Shi sirri na tsakanin mata da miji ai boye shi ake yi ba bayyana shi ba"
"Babu komai. Sun iso lafiya, babu komai. Ka taho kawai yanzu kazo ka dauke su ku koma. Yarinta ce irin ta Jidda, kayi hakuri"
"A'a, babu komai wallahi. Allah ya kiyaye gaba" 

Ya mayar da wayar aljihu ya juyo yana kallo na "zancen banza zancen wofi. Ga iyayenki nan, shekarar mu nawa a gidan nan kuma babu irin rigimar da bama yi dasu amma babu wadda ta taba daukan kaya ta tafi gidan su da sunan yaji. Haka yayyenki duk sunsan doka ta ba'a yi min yaji a gida wallahi. Babu yarinyar da zata kashe aurenta tazo ta zauna min a gida walahi, sai dai kuma idan wani uban zaki sake bani ba. Ke banda sakarci irin naki duk dangi wacece tayi dacen miji irin naki? Duk yan uwanki wa kika ga tana rayuwa irin taki? Duk cikin surukaina wa nake ji dashi kamar mijin ki? Ji nake kwana biyu da suka wuce yazo nan ya lissafa kudin makarantar kanwarki chif ya dankamin a hannuna, shine kuma kike so ki debi kasa ki watsa min a idona? To wallahi ahir dinki, kar in kuma ji kar kuma in kuma gani. Kar ki kara tako kafarki zuwa gidan nan ba tare da izinin mijinki ba da sunan wai kinyi yaji. Marar godiyar Allah. Ki goge wannan hawayen na fuskarki ki zauna ki saurari nasihar da uwarki zata yi miki kafin mijinki yazo, na kira shi yanzu yana kan hanya ma, yana zuwa ki dauki kayan ki kamar yadda kika dauko su daga can ki dauka ku koma. Wannan kuma ya zamanto na karshe, ehe" 

Ya juya ya fita. Hajiya ta bishi a baya tana cewa "sai hakuri Alhaji, ka haifi da ne baka haifi halinsa ba. Yaran zamani sai hakuri. Allah dai yasa yazo ya dauke ta su koma din kar yace yayi fushi" 

Na runtse ido na, hawayena yana zuba akan hijab dina, shikenan? Duk kuri da cika bakin da nayi wa Umar akan cewa na gama aurensa amma shikenan abinda Abba zaiyi akan maganar? Few minutes after na bar gidan sa sai a kira shi yazo ya dauke ni mu koma? Babu ko bincike babu ko fada babu ko bani damar in fadi abinda yake cikin zuciyata? A matsayi na na wadda na dauki shekara shida a gidan miji ba tare da nayi yaji ba ai ina ganin yau din da nayi I deserve to be heard ko? Wannan abin da Abba yayi tamkar yana gaya wa Umar ne ya cigaba daga inda ya tsaya.

Na dago kai ina kallon Umma, hawaye yana zuba daga idona, nayi kokarin magana amma muryata taki fitowa saboda bakin ciki daya tokare makogwarona. "Kiyi hakuri Hauwa'u" Umma ta fada, "ni nasan kina hakuri amma ina kara gaya miki kiyi hakuri. Saboda mai hakuri baya taba tabewa kuma hakuri baya taba kai mutum ga halaka sai dai ya kaishi ga tsira, idan ba'a duniya ba to a lahira. Hakuri baya taba yawa, kuma yanzu ma shi zan kara baki. Shi bin miji bin Allah ne, dole ki bi mijinki in dai kina son samun tsira a lahira. Ko wacce mace in kika ganta a gidan mijinta to hakuri take yi, mazan duk haka suke kowanne da aibun sa, dole muyi hakuri da su mu kuma tayi musu addu'a......"

Nace "Umma hatta mazinaci? Dole muyi hakuri mu zauna da miji mazinaci? Umma ji nake yi annabi da kansa yace haramun ne zama da miji ko mata mazinaci" Umma tayi saurin ta katse ni "subhanallah Jidda, ya zaki ke jifan mijinki da wannan mummunar maganar? Ya zaki ke kiran mijinki da wannan sunan a gaban ƴaƴan ki? Kar ki sake, kar ki bari kowa yaji maganar nan daga bakin ki. Kar ki bari maganar nan ta fada kunnen makiyanmu Jidda. Kin san kuwa mata nawa ne suke fatan samun kansu a matsayin ki? Mata nawa ne har a cikin dangi suke fatan ki fito su su shiga gidan ki? Har a cikin yanuwan ki ma da yawa bakin ciki suke miki da samun miji irin Umar" 

Na sunkuyar da kai, innalillahi wa inna ilaihir rajiun, anya kuwa Umma ta jini sosai? Ko kuma dama ta sani amma take yin shiru? Tabbas biri yayi kama da mutum, tabbas Aunty Afia ta gaya mata, wannan shi yasa duk ramewar da nake yi nake kuma bushewa bata taba tambaya ta abinda yake damuna ba, saboda ta riga ta sani. Yanzu kuma shine take ce min inje in cigaba da hakuri in cigaba da zaman aure da mazinaci? Dan kar makiya suyi min dariya? Shine reason dinta? 

Ta sauko gaba na ta rike hannuna. "Ki daina kukan nan Jidda, kinga, in kuka tafi gobe zan aikawa Afia taje gidan ta same ki ku sake maganar, daga nan sai ku tafi gurin Malam Murtala ayi masa bayanin komai, babu abinda ya gagari Allah, da Allah zamu hada shi, in aka yi mana addu'a a kansa ba zai kara kallon wani gurin ba" 

Na karbe hannuna daga cikin nata na goge hawayena ina gyada kai. Na cire hannun Yasmin daga jikina na mike ina daukan handbag dina, ta bini da kallo "ina zaki je?" Nace "waya zanyi masa" ta danyi murmushi "yauwa. Ki gaya masa ya dan bari sai an jima kadan dan yan zaman majalisar nan su gama watsewa kar su ganku kuna fita da kaya su samu abin magana. Allah ma ya saka sanda kuka shigo suna masallaci da yanzu magana ta zagaye unguwa" na gyada kai kawai ina jin numfashi na yana rike wa a kirjina baya karasa wa cikina. 

Na fita tsakar gida sannan na wuce soro na kifa kaina a jikin katanga ina jujjuya kaina zuciyata tana kuna kamar ana gasa masara a kirjina. "Am done" na fada a hankali. Na gama auren Umar. Na lissafo sanda sukayi waya da Abba nasan yanzu already yana kan hanya, maybe ma ya kusa karasowa. Na yi gyaran murya sannan na daga murya na kira Yasmin "ku zo kuyi magana da Daddy a waya" nayi shiru ina saurare, sai naji su sun fito tare, na lallaba na debo takalman su da sauri da dawo soro na saka musu na kinkimi Asad na kuma ja hannun Yasmin muka fita daga gidan da sauri.

"Mommy ina zamuje" Yasmin ta tambaya " Mommy mun fasa zama a gidan Umma? Yaushe su Muhsin din zasu zo muyi wasan?" Asad ya tambaya

Ban basu amsa ba, sai sauri nake zubawa ina waige. Muna fita bakin layi na tari Napep, yana tsayawa na saka yarana a ciki nima na shiga nace masa "muje"

Muna hawa kan titi naga motar Umar ta wuce mu, na leka naga ya saka signal ya shiga layin mu. Na dawo da kaina ciki na jingina a jikin karfen Napep din hawaye masu zafi, kwatankwacin zafin da zuciyata take yi min yana zuba daga ido na. Ban san cewa sheshsheka nake ba sai da naji muryar mai Napep yace "kiyi hakuri Hajiya. Komai yayi zafi maganin sa Allah. Ki daina kuka kinga kin saka ƴaƴan ki suna kuka suma" na kalle su, sun hada kai a guri daya suna rusa kukan da basu san dalilin yin sa ba. So innocent.

"Ina zan kai ku Hajiya?" Ya tambaya. Nayi shiru ina kallon yayana ina tunanin if I was wrong to bring them with me. Yasmin cikin kuka tace "mommy ina zamuje?" Na mayar da idona kan yatsun hannuna ina kallon su. 

Ina za mu je???????

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*From the Readers*
Wadannan matan suna cikin groups din mu, dan Allah idan kinsan ba zaki fadi alkhairi a kan su ba to kiyi shiru. In kuma kina da shawara mai kyau da zaki basu to bismillah.

*1*
Assalama Alaikum
Gaskiya jidda is going thru a lot I can also feel her pain wallahi....Am also in a this kinda marriage but mine is also a Drug Abuser .... The mistake was from me daga farko gaskiya saboda tun kafin munyi aure ya gaya min cewa he was into drugs bfr and now alhamdulillahi bayayi kuma I believe SBD ban taba kamashi da abu makamancin haka ba lokacin courtship dinmu gashi antakura min nayi aure just like gidansu jidda.Haka na tsarkake zuciyata akan ya daina n yadda mukayi aure. First week was alhamdulillahi but daga second week komi ya canza ya started seeing his tru face ya ajemin abokinsa a gida for almost 3days muna just scnd week da aure and then all sort of drugs fa suna shamin a cikin gida nayi kuka nagode Allah har abokin y tafi. And that keep going ya fara shigomin d kayan maye cikin gida , ina ta masa addua da nasiha amma babu canji.haka rayuwa ta cigaba har muka sami matsala parents suka shigo ciki and that was the time dana fada cewa he's into drugs both my family became aware of that.Da farko his mum ta dauki abun so serious and tayi bani hakuri sosai wallahi (knowing she knws he's into it since dama).haka dai akayi bani hakuri aka masa fada komi ya wuce but bai fa canza ba .Ga gida , ga mota, g sutura amma wallahi basa burgeni sbd auren drug addict masifa ne wallahi nayi duk iya yina nakasa nasha cewa y sakeni just like jidda amma wallahi yace bazai taba iyawa ba koda hauka yake I shud just knw auren mu mutu ka rabane. That's how life keeps going anytime his mum ask me if akwai matsala nace mata is only drug habit ensa but bata taba daukan mataki akai wallahi, bcs sometimes tana ganinsa ya dawo a buge amma bata iya wani masa fada sai dai tayi ta fadan wai ita tama gaji yana samata ciwon kai nasan yadda zanyi da mijina n gyara shi ita bazai kasheta ba can you imagine as if nice na haife shi. Haka nake ta rayuwa cikin kunci da rashin kwanciyar hankali domin dai yanzu freely a parlour yake shan kayan mayen sa amma bani da say ...ya taba cemin dama na hakura na kyaleshi tunda mamansa ma babu yadda ta iya dashi ae. To cut it short nayi realising abun ya fara taba masa brain wallahi saboda wasu habits da naga yakeyi, the worst part am pregnant ya min duka kamar zai kasheni telling me shifa tsohon mahaukacine i should know that idan ban sani ba bfr I was so scared wannan shine karo na farko daya taba saka hannunsa a jikina and pray ya zama last..one funny thing ya gama dukana nace nikam tafiya zanyi ya biyo ni daki yana ta bani hakuri shi baisan yayi bama wallahi a tsorace nake dashi bani da wanda zan gayawa matsala ta kamar jidda ko frnds I don't trust wallahi ....ina zaune har ynz a gidansa amma cikin fargaba, tsoro da bacin rai na rasa yadda zanyi wallahi a bani shawara ...Allah ya kawo manah mafita nida jidda da duk sauran yan uwa da suke cikin irin wannan halin namu .

*2*

Wallahi ga munan for good 21yrs but still the same
My first born is 20yrs she's in the university ***l
And her brother is 18yrs he's in ***l university
See me thinking andpraying
Still
😭😭😭😭😭


*wannan littafin na siyarwa ne bisa amana, idan baki siya ba kar ki karanta, idan kuma kin siya kar ki sharing, in kika yi kin ci amana kuma ke da Allah*

*The Savoir*

Kafin mu dora, let me say this. 
Littafin Jidda an gina shine akan matsalolin zinace zinacen da al'ummar mu ta samu kanta a ciki, da kuma yadda wannan matsalar take rusa happy families, like jidda's family.

Wannan dalilin ne ya saka characters din cikin littafin kamar, Umar, Bashir, baban su Aira, da sauransu suka zama mazinata, saboda ma'anar labarin ta fito sosai, amma kuma hakan ba yana nufin cewa maza haka suke ba, ko kadan halin Umar baya representing halayen sauran maza.

Yes, dole in mun karanta labarin wata wadda ta samu kanta a hali kamar yadda Jidda ta samu dole zamuji babu dadi kuma zamu ji haushin miji kamar Umar, amma ba yana nufin cewa mune Jidda ba kuma mazajen mu sune Umar ba. Please we should cool down and start taking things easy. Don't start digging something that isn't there please!

Akwai maza na gari kamar yadda yake akwai bata gari, ni a gurina ma zan iya cewa nagarin sun fi yawa. Saboda nafi ganin nagarin akan bata garin, ke ma kuma in kika duba surrounding dinki zaki fahimci haka. Haka mata ma, muma akwai mazinatan a cikin mu kamar yadda yake akwai su a cikin maza, akwai yammata, zawarawa, har ma da matan aure da suke mazinata, matsalar ba tamaxa bace ba tamu ce gabaki daya. 

Dan haka don't judge maza da halin Umar please. Don't judge mijinki uban yayanki da ya aure ki yake kuma iyakacin kokarin sa gurin kyautata miki da halin Umar please. 

Ba wai maza ne mazinata ba please, zamani muka zo da har matan ma ba'a barsu a baya ba. Dan in kuka duba ko a littafin Jidda mazinatan maza da mata ne ba wai maza ne kadai ba.

Don't go digging! Even if you dug and find out cewa mijinki yana chatting da yammata ko yana da budurwa ko yana zuwa zance that doesn't mean mazinaci ne. That means shi namiji ne and maza are polygamist in nature, ba kuma hakan yana nufin baya son ki bane ba. Soyayya daban zina daban please. Don't start imagining things that are not real! You are not Jidda please and your husband is not Umar!

Ga yammatan cikin mu kuma, there are very good men out there, just be a good girl and pray hard, addu'a tana da karfin da ta kan iya chanja kaddara. Insha Allah, you will find one.

I repeat, our husbands are not Umar! Lol.

Allah yasa mu dace. 

But seriously, lets all calm down and send out positive vibes. Let love reign ❤️

Back to Jidda........

Na mike zaune straight sannan na dauki Asad na dora shi akan cinyata na kuma jawo Yasmin jikina ina rarrashin su. "It is okay. We are going to be okay" na fada a hankali, more to myself than to them. "Ina zamuje Hajiya?" Mai adaidaita sahu ya tambaya, na dan girgiza kai na cikin kokarin tsayar da kukana, ina zamuje? Na sake tambayar kaina. Guri daya ne ya fado min, gidan yaya Tahir, saboda tunawa da nayi da alkawarin da yayi min na shige min gaba a duk lokacin da Umar ya sake maimaita laifin sa, duk da cewa bai san menene laifin ba.

But ........

The first place da za'a neme ni in aka rasa ni shine gidan yaya Tahir, daga nan kuma sai gidan Aunty Afia, sai kuma gidajen sauran yan'uwa. Abu na biyu kuma shine ko da naje gidan yaya Tahir din ko da kuma ya goyi bayana yayi niyyar tsaya min akan maganar a single word from Abba zaifi over powering dinsa, kamar yadda nake yar Abba haka shima yake dan Abba dan haka duk a karkashin ikonsa muke. 

Na girgiza kaina "ba zanje gidan Yaya Tahir ba" nayi magana ni kadai

Gidan Aunty Afia kuwa bana jin akwai abinda zata iya yi min bayan bani hakuri, tunda ita ma bata iya solving nata problem din ba ballantana tayi solving nawa. 

Amma to ina zanje da wadannan innocent yaran? Na fada ina shafa kawunan su. Na jima da yin alkawarin cewa zan rabu da Umar ko da kuww zan zauna a gefen titi ne, it was easier to say, sai yanzu da abin yazo sannan na fahimci yana da wahalar aikatawa musamman saboda yaran da nake dasu. Amma kuma na tabbatar da ace nabar su agida da Umar yana zuwa za'a damka masa su ba tare da jan magana ba, a yadda Umar yake kuwa zai iya kawo mace ma ya kwanta da ita a gidan a kan idon yayansa. Waya sani ma ko samda ya nemi Asaben suna cikin gidan?

Tabbas tahowata dasu shine mafi alkhairi a gare su amma kuma ina zan saka su......

A thought came to me, ko in tafi airport ne in sayi ticket in tafi Lagos gurin Baba? Watakila shi zai iya yadda dani ba kamar Mama ba, nayi saurin girgiza kai na, zai iya yarda kuma zai iya yiwa Umar fada, amma kuma zai dawo dani gidan Umar tare da bani hakuri da kuma nemar wa Umar wata damar, abinda kuma ba zan iya ba kenan dan damammakin Umar sun kare a guri na. 

But ina zani......

Gwoggo Habibah babu abinda zata iya yi min, daga ita har mijinta Abba ba sauraren su yake yi ba. 

In nace zan tafi Ethiopia gurin auncle Muhammad bana jin kudin da suke account dina zasu ishe ni tafiyar, kuma ko da ace zasu ishe ni dole ina bukatar gurin da zan zauna kafin in yi tafiyar tunda ba wai zan tafi airport bane kawai in sai tickets in shiga jirgi in tafi ba.

Ina zanje?

"Ya Allah" na rufe idona tare da ambata 

"Ya Allah bani da kowa sai kai. Allah kasan halin da nake ciki Allah ka kawo dauki" 

Na fada a fili. 

Mai adaidaitan was patient, yana tafiya a hankali kuma baiyi mita ba, na sake rufe idona ita ta zurfafa tunani na mutanen dana sani, yan uwa da abokan arziki, amma banga inda zanje wanda za'a goya min baya ba kuma a tsaya min in karbo yancina daga hannun Umar.

Wayata naji tayi kara, na dauko ta daga jaka. "Umarul Faruq" na gani. 
"Ya karasa gida" na fada a raina "sun fara nema na" tana katsewa kiran Abba ya shigo. Sunan sa kawai in na kalla kara min tsoro da faduwar gaba yake yi, wannan guduwar da nayi idan Abba ya kamani bana jin zai barni ba tare da ya nada min na jaki ba. 

I let the phone rang har ta katse dan kanta sannan kiran Umma ya shigo, yana katsewa na yaya Tahir ya shigo, wato har sun kira shi suna nemana, gwara da Allah yasa ban doshi gidan sa ba, yana katsewa na Abba ya kuma shigowa sai na Umar.

Haka sukayi ta kira na ina kallon wayar akan cinyata amma ko taba ta banyi ba, in dai suka san inda nake abinda zai faru shine Abba zai ci mutumci na fiye da kima sannan kuma a mayar da ni gidan Umar. A karshe sai na yanke shawarar kashe wayar gabaki daya ko dan inyi reserving charge dina dan bansan yadda zata kasance dani ba. 

Ina daukan ta da niyar danna power dan in kashe ta sai ga kira ya shigo da number din da ko kadan banyi tunanin gani ba a lokacin. 

"Halima Kollere" 

Na ma manta ina da number din, nayi saving dinta tun shekaru biyu da suka wuce lokacin da mukayi reunion a makaranta, lokacin da Ramla ta saka min number din a wayata. Bayan na dawo gida nayi ta kiran number din bata shiga, kamar yadda Ramla dama already ta riga ta gayamin cewa haliman bata kasar dan haka number din bata shiga, sai kawai na bar ta a waya ta tare da fatan wata rana zan gwada kuma zata shiga. But I never called her again. 

Sai yanzu, ita take kira na.........
Sai yanzu lokacin da nake tsakiyar halin ƙaƙanikayi..........
Sai yanzu lokacin da ba zan iya daukan wayarta ba...........

Ban katse ba sai na bari har sai da ta katse da kanta sannan na kuma sake kokarin kashe wayar amma sai wani kiran ya kuma shigowa daga gare ta. 

Shekaru fiye da goma kenan rabona da ita ......
Shekaru fiye da goma kenan ina fatan Allah ya sake sadani da ita....
Amma bamu hadu ba har yau, sai yanzu da take kirana...
Anya in naki dauka ai kamar ban kyauta ba ko? But bana cikin mood din daukan waya gaskiya. Musamman daga wadda bana son wulakantawa. Amma kuma rashin daukan wayar shima wani form of wulakancin ne ko?

Nayi sliding wajen daukan kira sannan na saka a kunne na.

"Hello"

Naji muryar ta, cike da accent din fulani. 

"Jidda? Dan Allah ina magana ne da Hauwa'u Mahmud?" 

Na danyi gyaran murya kadan nace "eh Jidda ce. Halima?" 

Tayi dariya 

"Kai! Amma naji dadin samunki wallahi, dazu na je har gidan su Ramla na karbo number din ki. Ina ta neman ki. Ya kike? Ance kinyi aure har da yara ko? Ya yaran ya maigidan" 

Na dan janye wayar daga fuskata saboda wani sabon kuka na naji ya taho min. Nayi kokarin rike shi amma bai riku ba. Sai kawai na katse kiran na ja hijab dina na rufe fuskata dashi. 

Wani kiran ya sake shigowa, still daga gurin ta. Ta riga ta same ni kuma har na dauka sannan na katse, rashin daukata yana nufin ina sane da ita ce kuma bana son alaka da ita kenan. Abinda zata dauka kenan. 

Nayi kokarin tsayar da kukana sannan na kuma dauka 

"Hello Halima. Ina kan hanya ne yanzu kuma kamar network bashi da kyau zan kira ki in naje gida" 

Sai naji tayi shiru, na kalli screen na ga time yana reading, na mayar kunne na "Hello?" 

Tace "Jidda? Are you crying?" 

Wannan tambayar sai ta zama Mabudin kuka na, kawai ma saka mata kuka nayi tayin abina kamar wadda ta shekara bata yi ba, bayan I have already cried enough. Sai da na tsagaita da kukan sannan tace min "me ya faru Jidda? Kina ina?" 

Na dan dago kaina na kalli inda muke, ni ban ma gane unguwar ba musamman saboda duhun da gari yayi a lokacin, nace "ban sani ba ma ni, ina cikin adaidaita ni da yara. Ban san ma inda zanje ba" 

Tace "subhanallah. Then something is definitely wrong kenan. Kin ga, in babu damuwa, come to my house ki huta kiyi tunani kinji, zaki zo?" Na gyada kai kamar tana ji na sannan nace "eh, zan zo" tace "okay, ki ce da mai adaidaita ya taho unguwa uku, I will send you the full address ta message. Please do come kinji? We will sort it out together in kin zo"

 kadan bayan nan muna kofar gidan da tayi min kwatance. Na sauko da Asad a hannuna wanda ya gama kukan sa kuma yayi bacci a jikina, sannan na sauko da Yasmin da duk jikin ta ya saki ita ma, sai kuma na biya mai adaidaita kudin da yafi karfin nasa saboda kyautatawar sa gare ni. 

Na daga kai ina kallon kyakykyawan gidan da tun daga waje tsarin sa ya burgeni. Sai dai bana cikin mood din kalle kalle.

Yana tafiya aka bude kofar gate din gidan aka fito, da alama mai gadin gidan ne yace "Jidda?" Na gyada masa kai kawai sai ya bude min kofa muka shiga ya rufe sannan yayi gaba da sauri yana min alamar in biyo bayan sa. Muka he zuwa wata kofa ya bude min sannan ya matsa tare da yi min alamar in shiga da hannun sa.

Na shiga na tsaya hannuna daya riƙe dana Yasmin, dayan kuma dafe da Asad. Tana tsaye a tsakiyar falon, fuskar ta cike da damuwa. Muka tsaya muna kallon juna. 

"Jidda?" Ta kura sunana, na kasa amsa mata da farko saboda ban tabbatar ita ce wacce nake tunanin ita din bace ba dan kusan komai nata zan iya cewa ya chanja, sai da na kalli fuskar ta sosai sannan na gane kamannin ta, kyakykyawan dogon hancinta da dagaggen bakinta. 

"Diyam?" 

Na fada cikin doubt. Sai ta taho da sauri inda nake ta jawo ni jikinta tare da rungume mu ni da yara gabaki daya.

 Sai kuma ta ja mu zuwa kujera "seat please. You must be very cold, bara in kawo muku something warm ku sha" ta danyi rubbing fuskar Yasmin sannan ta shafa kan Asad sai kuma ta kara karfin room heater din da take falon sannan ta wuce bude wata kofa ta shiga da sauri.

Na dawo da dubana kan Yasmin da ita ma ni take kallo sannan tace "mommy wacece wannan? Ina ne nan? Me zamuyi anan?" And for the first time tun da muka fito daga gida I answered
 her "wannan sunanta Aunty Halima. Kawata ce. Mun zo ne zamu kawo mata ziyara". Ta juya tana kallon kofar da Diyam ta shiga sannan tace "in mun gama kuma sai mu tafi gida ko?" Wannan tambayar ce kuma ban amsa mata ba.  Nima kaina ban sam amsar ba. Gamu nan dai a gidan a lost but found friend dina, then what next?

Na dauko waya ta da har yanzu take ta ƙugi a cikin jakata, missed calls 30+ daga numbers din Umar, Abba, Umma, yaya Tahir da Aunty Afia. Sai kuma messages daga Umar 

"Don't do this Jidda please"

"Zan bar ki a gidan in abinda kike so kenan, zan ce da Abba ya bar ki a gidan in nan kika fi so"

"Just pick up the damn phone" 

Ban karanta sauran ba na fita daga messages din sannan na kashe wayar a lokacin da Diyam take shigowa wata yarinya a bayanta hannunta rike da tray. Ta jawo table gaban mu ta dora tray din sannan ta koma ta kofar da suka shigo, Diyam ta matso tana yiwa Yasmin murmushi "ya sunan ki baby girl?" Yasmin ta bata rai bata ce komai ba, na juya na harare ta sai tace "Yasmin" muryar ta can kasa. 

Diyam tayi murmushi. "Ni kuma sunana Diyam" sai kuma ta jawo tray din da aka ajiye ta hada wa Yasmin da Asad tea mai dumi ta basu duk suka sha Sannan ta kira yarinyar dazu tace ta shiga dasu ciki ta kula dasu. 

Asad bai wani damu ba ya tafi, amma Yasmin sai ta makale tana kallona sai da nace mata taje zamuyi magana ne sannan ta tafi tana waige.

Bayan sun shiga Diyam ta hada min tea nima ta miko min, nayi saurin girgiza kai na dan in na karba ma bana jin zai iya wucewa ta makogwarona dan a toshe nake jin sa sosai. Sai ta mayar ta ajiye sannan ta rike hannuna a cikin nata tana murmushi. "You are still looking just like a remembered. Very beautiful" na sunkuyar da kaina ina so inui murmushi in kuma amsa mata compliment dinta sannan ita ma in yaba mata amma na kasa, sai naji ta kuma cewa "naji a waya kina kuka, yanzu ma kuma gashi naga idon ki duk a kumbure suke Allah ne kadai yasan yawan kukan da kika yi. Kin ce min ba kya gida kuma baki san inda zaki je ba right? Kuma ni banga alamar wahala a tare da ku ba ma'ana yanzun ne kuka bar gidan ba wai dama can baku da gidan bane ba. And I can't help but wonder Jidda yaji kika yi? Fada kuka yi da mijin ki kika yi yaji? Kin je gida kuma an koro ki ko?" 

Na daga kai ina kallon ta ina wondering ko dai ta koma malamar duba ne? Sai kuma na gyada mata kai da sauri "eh. Yaji nayi Diyam, kuma nayi alkawarin ba zan koma gidan Umar ba. Amma ina zuwa gida sai Abba ba tare da ya saurari dalilin yaji na ba ballantana in saka ran zai bani hakuri ko kuma shi yayi masa fada sai kawai ya dauki waya ya kira shi yace yazo mu tafi. Shine na gudu daga gidan dan ba zan koma ba. Shine kuma ban san inda zan je ba. Duk gidajen yanuwana duk inda naje mayar da ni zasuyi. Duk son shi suke yi. Duk ganin kimar sa suke yi. Saboda bashi da wani babban aibu sai abu daya. Sai abun da yayi min nauyin da ba zan iya fitowa in gaya wa duniya ba. Sannan yayi munin da ba zan iya cigaba da zama da shi ba" na fada cikin kuka.

Sai ta jawo kaina kan kafadar ta tana dan bubbuga baya na kadan kamar yadda ake yiwa yara in ana rarrashin su. "Shshsh. Kiyi hakuri Jidda, kiyi hakuri but cry all you want, please let it all out in your tears zaki ji sanyi a zuciyar ki" 

Abinda bata sani ba shine kukan nayi shi nayi shi har na fara tsoron rasa idanuwa na a sanadiyyar kuka. 

Sai da na tsagaita da kukan sannan ta dago kaina ta na dan murmushi tace "I was once in a position like yours. Ba exactly ba amma something simila. Mijina ya kaini bango and I decided na gama zama dashi, sai na debi kayana na dauki ya ta na shiga adaidaita na tafi gidan mu. Abba dama ya rasu already. Inna ta tana gani na she was like "Diyam yaji kika yi?" And I was like "bazan koma ba ni Inna ba zan koma ba na gama auren" and she was like "sai kin koma din, ja'ira, ina mijin naki?" But a lokacin shi mijin nawa da take magana akai yana hannun yan sanda, ba dan haka ba dana tabbatar ita ma kiransa zata yi tace yazo ya dauke ni mu tafi. But then she called wanda ya saka aka rufe shin and said "Diyam ta kawo kararka ka saka an kama mijinta" shi kuma ya ji haushi ya kumbura kamar zai fashe "tayi hakuri za'a sako mata mijinta" and I was like "oh noo Inna what have you done?" 

Ta karasa maganar tana dariya, dariya sosai, and I couldn't help but smile duk da ko kadan ban gane kan labarin nata ba but daga yadda take murmushi da dariya na tabbatar labarin wani sad memory ne take bani wanda ya riga ya wuce ya zama abinda zata tuna tayi dariya yanzu. 

And I thought.... maybe nima wata rana zan tuna all of these in yi dariya. Amma yadda zanyi in riski wannan ranar ne ban sani ba, ko ma zan ganta din?

Ta gama dariyar ta sannan tace "but wannan shine asalin rabuwa ta da mijina. Daga ranar ban kuma komawa gidan sa ba sai daukar kaya"

Na bude ido, sannan na kalli gidan da muke ciki, sai kuma nace ban gane ba. Tace "ina nufin na rabu da mijina na fari wanda kuma shine uban yata ta fari, wanda kuma nayi shahon shekarun da na tabbatar sunfi wadanda kika yi da mijinki a yanzu. But rabuwa dashi wasn't the end of me, it was rather just the beginning" 

Nace "Sadauki? Kina nufin kin iya rabuwa da Sadauki duk son da kike masa?"

Sai tayi murmushi "ashe kin tuna da Sadauki" nace "ina tuna sunansa kullum idan na tuna ki. Diyam kowa ya sanki a school yasan sunan Sadauki attached to you. Ashe zaki iya rabuwa da shi?" 

Ta girgiza kai "ai ba Sadauki ne mijina na farko ba Jidda" 

Nace "but sanda aka ce mana anyi miki aure, lokacin muna jss3, duk mun dauka Sadauki aka aura miki tunda munsan yayanki ne kuma saurayinki" 

Ta girgiza kanta yanayin fuskar ta yana chanjawa, da alama ta tuna da wani memory marar dadi, tace "ba sadauki aka aura min ba. Mijina na farko sunansa Saghir, cousin dina ne, yanzu ne nake auren Sadauki" na kuma kallon ina so in fahimci kam labarin ta amma sai ta dakatar da ni "don't let me bore you with labari na, just know that I went through a lot kafin in zo inda nake yanzu" na sunkuyar da kaina ina tunanin nima ai ina going through a lot a yanzu, but will I reach where she is ko kuma nawa destiny din ba irin nata bane ba.

Sai ta sake rike hannuna tace "look Jidda, you are my dear friend, nan kuma gidan mijina ne, in kina so you can stay here for tonight kafin gobe sai ki yanke hukuncin abinda zaki yi, but I advice you to call your parents ki gaya musu you are okay dan hankalin su ya kwanta. But choice din ki ne yin hakan. Ban ce lallai ki gaya min matsalar ki ba ko dalilin da yasa kika baro gidan mijinki ba, amma in kina son gaya min din I will listen, sannan kuma zan baki shawara dai dai da fahimtata. I won't judge you, because I am a woman, and women are supposed to be each other's keepers"

 Na gyada kai kawai, sai ta sake tambayata "kin yarda? Kin amince zaki kwana anan gidan kafin ki yanke hukuncin abinda zaki yi?" Na sake gyada kai na tare da sauke ajjiyar zuciya "Nagode. Nagode sosai"

Ta mike tsaye tare da jan hannuna nima na mike "muje ciki to, ki samu kiyi sallah ki huta ki ci abinci. And then think about it. Gobe in Allah ya kaimu sai mu zauna mu san inda muka tsaya da kuma inda zamu tashi. 

Na bita a baya, ina lura da kyau da tsarin gidan tun daga yanayin ginin sa har zuwa furnitures da decorations, akwai taste mai kyau gaskiya kuma akwai kudi sosai. 

Wani daki ta kaini, daga gani zaka gane guest room ne dan babu alamar akwai mutum a ciki, sai ta bude wardrobe din ciki ta dauko min sallaya ta shimfida min sannan ta nuna min toilet na shiga, ina fitowa na ga wata yarinya tana yin shimfidar gado, ta gaishe ni sannan ta cigaba da aikin ta, ina sallar ta gama shimfida gadon ta kunna room heater sannan ta saka room freshener ta fita, bayan jimawa kadan ta dawo da tray dauke da abinci ta ajiye a gaban dan karamin carpet son da yake gaban gado. 

Na idar na zauna addu'a, sai na samu kaina da yin irin addu'ar da Surayya ta gaya min cewa tayi na Allah ya ji min jagora akan abinda na saka a gaba yayi riko da hannu na kar ya barni ni kadai dan ni kadai ba zan iya ba, ya kawo min dauki.

Ina cikin addu'ar Diyam ta dawo dakin, na kammala na shafa tare da share hawayen da ya zubo min sanda ina addu'ar. Ta zauna a bakin gado tana kallona "kiyi hakuri Jidda. Insha Allah komai yayi farko zai yi karshe, Allahn daya dora miki wannan matsalar shi zai yaye miki if you believe and trust him kinji?" Na gyada kai sannan na mike tsaye ina kallon abin da ta shigo dashi a hannunta.

Duk da halin da zuciyata take ciki sai da nayi murmushi "babies!" Na fada "twins. Diyam twins kika haifa?" Tayi murmushi tana miko min daya, na karbe ta na daga ta sama ina jin sha'awar jarirai tana shiga zuciyata. "So cute wallahi kamar in sace ta. Dan Allah ki bani" tayi dariya "na baki. In dai wannan ce na baki ita. Da dai wannan rigimammen ne da sai inji tsoron kar ya hana ki bacci" ta fada tana yiwa daya jaririn da yake kan cinyarta wasa "ko ba haka ba abba na?  Mai rigima irin ta babansa" na zauna a kusa da ita ina kallon kyakykyawan dan da yake cinyarta yana yi mata toothless dariya, nayi murmushi a raina ina fatan kar nawa yayan suyi halin nasu uban. 

"Sannu Diyam!" Na fada "haihuwar twins ance da wahala ko?" Ta yi dariya "da wahala mana, ko wacce haihuwa ai akwai wahala. Amma ni ba su ne twins dina na farko ba na taba haihuwar wasu, na fari na, Allah yayi musu rasuwa amma a ranar dana haife su, ko kwana daya basu yi ba" ta fada tana murmushin takaici, daga dukkan akama har yanzu tana jin zafin mutuwar yayan nata.

 Na sunkuyar da kai na ina wasa da hannuna sannan nace "Allah sarki. Allah yasa masy ceto ne" tace "ameen Nagode" sai kuma na kalli kofa ina tunanin nima nawa yayan amma bance komai ba, kamar ta san me nake tunani sai tace "su Yasmin suna can suna cin abinci, ko a kawo miki su nan ku ci tare?" Nace "eh" a raina nasan Asad zai iya cin abinci acan amma Yasmin ba zata ci ba, ko a gida bata cin abinci ita kadai sai mum hadu gabakidaya, sai dai ko in tea ne ko kuma wani snacks haka.

Jimawa kadan da fitar Diyam yaran suka shigo tare duk suka fado jikina "mommy anan zamu kwana ne?" "Mommy nan ne sabon gida mu? "Mommy daddy fa? Shima nan zai taho?" Na jawo tray din na fara zuba musu abinci "ku zauna ku ci abinci" Asad yace "an bani na ci. Ni yoghout zan sha. Ki kira Daddy ki ce in zai taho ya taho min da yoghout" nace "to babana, maza shiga toilet kayi fitsari kazo ka kwanta" ya shiga toilet da sauri ni kuma na dawo da hankali na kan Yasmin "sauko ki ci abinci"

 Ta sauko ta zauna tana kallona "mommy anan zamu kwana?" "Eh na amsa mata ina juya mata abincin. "Mommy daddy shi kadai zai kwana?" Na dago kai ina kallonta "ban sani ba. Ki rufe min bakin nan naki kuma ki ci abinci" ta dauki chokali tana ta jujjuya abincin har Asad ya fito ya kwanta yana ta surutan sa shi kadai har bacci ya dauke shi. A lokacin Diyam ta kuma dawowa, wannan karon babu babies din a hannunta sai kaya, "ga kayan bacci, amma na rasa wanda zan bawa Yasmin da Asad,na Subay'a sunyi musu yawa," na karba ina murmushi, ina jin dadin kyautatawar ta "nagode, babu komai" Yasmin ta mike "na koshi da abincin mommy" sai ta shiga toilet.

Ranar da kyar na samu Yasmin tayi bacci, amma ni kuma banyi baccin ba, tashi nayi na sake yin alwala sannan na cigaba da kai kukana ga ubangiji, zuciyata a lokacin da hawayena duk sun kafe, addu'ar samun mafita kawai nake yi duk da cewa har lokacin ban san menene mafitar a gare ni ba. Abinda na sani kawai shine na gama auren Umar, abu na biyu kuma shine nasan indai na koma gida sai sun mayar da ni gidan sa, dan haka yanzu gidan zama nake tunanin inda zan samu. Diyam ta bani gurin zama na tsakanin yau da gobe, kawata ce ita amma rabon na da ita shekara da shekaru bazan zo rana daya kawai in zauna mata a gida in dora mata responsibilities dina ba, dole in nemi mafita. Shin ko gurin yaya Tahir zan koma in roke shi kar ya gaya wa Baba ina tare da shi? And then what? Ba zan cigaba da zama har abada da auren Umar a kaina ba Umar kuma bana jin ko bindiga aka saka masa a ka zai sake ni.

But he must, dan na gama da shi.

Ranar yadda naga rana haka naga dare, na saka yayana a gaba ina ta sakawa ina warwarewa. Har gari ya waye kuma ban saka abinda nake ganin shine mafita a gare ni ba.

Da assuba bayan nayi sallah ne na dauko wayata na kunna, ko gama kamawa batayi yi ba sai kiran ya shigo "Umma" sai kawai naji hawaye ya taho min, Allah sarki uwa, yanzu haka itama yau kwana tayi bata yi bacci ba tana kiran wayata, sai naji wani irin guilt, naji cewa bata chanchanci haka daga gare ni ba amma duk da haka sai naki dauka. Messages ma suka yi ta shigo min yawanci duk daga Umar, wadansu dogaye kamar mai rubuta labari wadansu yan kadan, babu wanda na tsaya na karanta a ciki sai naga wani ya shigo daga yaya Tahir 

"Jidda call me" 

sai na shiga nayi masa reply. 

"I am safe. Ka gaya wa Umma" 

Message din yana tafiya na kuma kashe wayar, a lokacin ne na yanke wata shawara, ban san inda zanje ba, ban kuma san me zanyi ba, amma ba zan koma gida ba har sai na tabbatar Abba yayi laushin da idan na koma zai tsaya ya saurare ni sannan kuma ya tsaya min akan maganar kamar yadda ya kamata iyaye suke tsayawa yayansu da suke cikin irin halin da nake ciki.

Gari yana fara wayewa Yasmin da Asad suka tashi, saboda sun riga su saba da tashi da sassafe saboda makaranta. Sai a lokacin tunanin makarantar su yazo min? Ya zanyi da karatun su? Na girgiza kaina, dole su hakura da karatu for now har sai al'amura sun warware mana, dan rashin karatun nasu a yanzu yafi musu alkhairi akan cigaba da zama da babansu, dan tabbas suna tare da Umar watarana zai iya neman mace a gabansu, ko kuma worst.

Nayi saurin kawar da maganar daga raina sannan na shigar dasu toilet nayi musu wanka na sa suka yi alwala suka fito na mayar musu da kayan jikinsu tunda basu da wasu kayan sannan suka yi sallah. 

"Mommy yau ba zamu je school ba?"

"Mommy daddy ne zai zo ya dauke mu daga nan gidan ya kaimu school ko?'

"Babu school, anyi hutu"

Na fada shortly

Asad ya fara tsalle yana murna, Yasmin kuma ta zauna kawai tana kallona ni kuma nayi kamar ban ganta ba na cigaba da jan charbin hannuna ina yiwa Allah kirari tare da neman taimakon sa. 

Bamu jimada tashi ba Diyam ta shigo, muka gaisa su Yasmin ma suka gaishe ta sai na tsokane ta "kika tashi da sassafe kika taho nan kika bar mijinki ko?" Tayi murmushi "lah! Baya gari ai, yaje Maiduguri, da yana nan ai da tun jiyan kun gaisa. Sai gobe nake saka ran dawowar sa" 

Nace "Allah ya dawo dashi lafiya"

Sai ta kawo min kayan da nake tunanin nata ne ta ce in saka, "yara kuma na yi waya za'a kawo musu kaya" nayi saurin cewa "da kin gaya min ai da sai in bayar da kudin" ta harare ni "yayan nawa in zan siya musu kaya sai na karbi kudi a hannunki?" Nayi murmushi kawai tare da yi mata godiya amma bata amsa ba. 

Tare muka fita, ta kai yara falo ta kunna musu TV sannan muka shiga kitchen muka yi breakfast tare, tana tabani labarin karatun da take yi a Oxford, "nan bada dadewa ba in sha Allah zan dawo Nigeria gabakidaya a matsayin lauya mai kare hakkin mata, insha Allah wannan shine burina, in share hawayen duk wata mace da take cikin halin kunci, in taimaka wa duk wata macen da namiji ko iyaye, ko al'umma suka danne mata hakkin ta, in fadakar da mata su san menene hakkokin su su kuma san abinda ya kamata suyi idan an danne musu hakkinsu, su san me ya kamata su dauka su san menene bai kamata su dauka ba. Wannan shine mafarki na. Wannan shine burina" 

Nayi shiru ina tunanin wannan dogon buri na Diyam, sai nace "Allah ya baki sa'a akan abinda kika saka a gaba, amma babbar magana ce kika dauko Diyam, aikin ba karami bane ba bana jin zaki iya yi ke kadai dole sai kin samu hadin kan su matan da kike so ki taimaka wa din, some will rather die a gidan miji akan su bujirewa aure saboda sun riga sun saka akan su cewa sai a gidan miji zasu iya rayuwa, suna ganin sai da namiji zasu iya rayuwa su ba zasu iya defending da kansu ba, wasu kuma sunyi believing kamar zama a gidan mijin shi zai kai su aljanna, sun manta cewa ba wai yin auren ne yake kaiwa aljanna ba, a'a abinda ake yi a cikin auren ne either ya kai mutum aljanna ko kuma ya dangana shi da wuta" 

Ta gyada kai " shi yasa suke buƙatar enlightenment, a fadakar dasu tare da nuna musu abinda ya kamata su dauka a addinance da constitutional rights, da kuma abubuwan da basu kamata su dauka ba dan zai zama illa ga either physical ko mental health dinsu, ko kuma ya zamo illa ga tarbiyyar yayansu, ko kuma ya zama illa ga addinin su dan wani auren zai kai mace wuta ne instead of aljanna"

Nayi shiru ina kallon ta amma ban ce komai ba sai ta cigaba "Duk auren da rashin zaman lafiyan cikin sa ya kai matsayin da mace zata ke daga muryar ta sama data mijinta, wani lokacin har ta kai da duka ko zagi ko cin mutuncin, ko ta ke gudun sa a gado, ko ta mayar da shi dashi da babu duk daya ne a gurinta, to wannan auren a ganina matar da take cikinsa hanyar wuta ta kama bata aljanna ba" 

Nayi shiru ina tuno marin da nayi wa nawa mijin jiya. Amma da nayi marin ma ba wai huce wa nayi ba. Meaning akwai matan da in ransu ya baci irin haka suke abinda yafi mari, na tuno da matan da suke kashe mazajen su har lahira. 

Sai naji Diyam ta cigaba da cewa "kinga akwai wadda naji labari, wai mijinta neman mata yake yi tayi tayi ya daina yaki dainawa sai kawai tace ita ta sallama shi ta bar wa duniya shi, yaje yayi ta neman matansa amma ita ba zata kwanta dashi ba, za dai ta cigaba da zama dashi a matsayin matarsa saboda kar ta fita al'umma su ce mata bazawara. Tun mijin yana binta yana nemanta har ya hakura shima ya barwa duniya ita. To Yanzu menene amfanin wannan auren? Wacce aljanna mai wannan auren take tunanin tana nema a cikin auren?" 

Nace "most of mutanen yanzu ba dan neman aljanna suke yi komai ba, most of them dan duniya sune yi, dan duniya ake zaman gidan auren dan duniya iyaye suke matsawa yayansu kar su fito daga gidan miji, saboda kar duniya ta zage su, saboda kar su kunyata a idon makiyan su" na fada ina tuno da tawa uwar. 

Sai Diyam tace "haka ne, wasu kuma ba dan haka ba. Wasu kuma dan rashin madafa ne. Mijin nan shine yake yi musu komai maybe har iyayensu shine yake yi musu komai idan suka rabu dashi, bar ta gurin zama, hatta abincin da zasu saka a bakin su gagararsu zai yi, sannan yayansu dole ko da ace sun san right din su na cewa yaya su addini ya bawa rikon su ba miji ba, amma rashin inda zasu ajiye yayan da abinda zasu ciyar da su dashi, da kuma tunanin zasu rasa wani mijin idan suka fito da yaya dan ba kowanne namiji ne zai aure ki ya haɗa da yayanki ba, to wannan tunanin shine yake time su saisu zauna da sunan zaman hakuri, amma in reality ba wai zaman hakurin suke yi ba fa, zaman babu yadda zasu yi suke yi"

Nayi shiru ina tunani, a raina ina lissafin to ko irin wannan zaman ne Aunty Afia tayi? Sai na tambaye ta "to yanzu menene kike ganin mafita ga irin wadannan matan?" 

Tace "mafita shine su nemi abinyi, ko aikin yi ko sana'a, na farko in suka samu abinyi ba zama su dora ransu sosai akan mijin ba har wani abun nasa yadame su, damun da har zasu kai ga sainsa ko akai ga daga murya ko zagin da har za'a samu alhaki. Na biyu su kansu mazan in kina da abin hannunki bakya yawan ce masa bani bani to zaki ga bai fiya daga miki kai da fushi da sauran su ba, musamman ace kina dan taimaka masa da wasu abubuwa na gida, kin san nauyin nan shine wani lokacin yake kufular da maza su zo suna ta fadan babu gaira babu dalili, amma misali ace bai kawo cefane ba, ya dawo yana tunanin zaki yi masa mitar cewa bai kawo cefane ba sai ya tarar har kin siyo kinyi girkin kin kawo masa abincin, tabbas zaki ga yadda zai ji dadi, zaki ga yadda ko kinyi wani karamin laifi shima zaiyi overlooking, dan haka samun abinyi ga mace yana kara zaman lafiya sosai a gidan aurenta. Kuma in the case if extremist maza wadanda ba'a iya musu, da kuma masu manya manyan laifuka kamar zinace zinace da shaye shaye, luwadi, da sauran manyan laifukan da ko a addini zama dasu bai halatta ba, idan mace tana da abinyi rabuwar ma zata fi zuwa mata da sauki tunda tana da yadda zata kula da kanta da yayanta, kuma su kansu iyayen, da yawa daga cikin su tsoron responsibility ne yake sakawa su bar yayansu suyi ta shan wahala ba wai dan basa son su ba, amma in kina da shi zaki ga sai sun fi supporting dinki, kuma ko wani auren ne yazo mijin ba zai wani damu da rikon yayanki ba tunda yasan kina da abin da zaki rike kayan ki. Wannan duk ina magana ne akan idan ubansu bai sauke nauyin su ba, dan a shariance idan aure ya mutu uwa za'a bawa rikon yaya, shi kuma uba za'a saka masa kudin da zai ke bata duk wata ko duk sati na ciyarwa da sauran hidindimun yayan nasu, idan tana da ciki ko tana shayarwa har da nata hidimar"

Nayi shiru ina kallon bango, ina jin idonta akaina tana kallona, sai na juyo ina kallon ta nace "akwai matan kuma da baki fada ba, su kuma suna da yadda zasu rike kan nasu kuma sunada ilimi sun san rights din su sai dai, sai dai halin mijinsu, halin da ya saka suke son rabuwa da shi, abu ne da ba zasu iya fada ba dan zai zama bakin fenti bawai a kansa shi kadai ba har ma da kansu da kuma yayansu. Su kuma me zasu yi kenan?"

Diyam tayi shiru tana kallona sai kuma ta kama hannuna tace "zo muje mu ci abinci, then you can tell me all about it, and together, we can find a solution insha Allah"


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*From the readers*

Assalamu alaikum. 

Ina so in bawa masu karatu labari na tare da fatan wata zata dauki one or two lessons from it. Nayi rayuwa a baya kusan irin ta Jidda. Allah ya jarabce ni da miji mai irin halin Umar. Sai dai kuma ni din na kasance an extreme introvert. Bana iya magana, bana iya yin bayani, bana iya gayawa kowa abinda yake zuciyata. I find it hard to express myself ko mai kusancin da muke da mutum. Shi yasa bayar da wannan labarin yanzu yake min wahala. Ina kuma tunanin hakan ya samo asali ne tun daga kuruciyata da yanayin yadda rayuwata ta kasance tun lokacin yayena, but that is a story for another day.  Wannan yasa duk tsahon shekarun nan da nayi da mijina a cikin wancan halin babu wanda ya sani, cikin yanuwana ko nasa babu wanda yasan halin da muke ciki sai nayi ta boye bakin ciki a zuciyata. 
Wannan ya jawo idan ya aikata abin da yake aikatawa kuma na kamashi nakan hada shi da wanda shi kadai ya sani, na kan yi masa Allah ya isa. Daga baya bayan munyi shekaru a cikin wannan yanayin har mun hayayyafa sai Allah ya dora masa lalura, paralysis, rabin jikinsa ya shanye, bayan paralysis din kuma akwai sauran cututtuka da yake fama dasu, nima kuma haka. 
To sai nake ganin kamar Allah ya isan da na ringa yi masa ce ta kama shi, tunda ya zalince ni kuma Allah yana karbar addu'ar wanda duk aka zalinta. 

Sai dai kuma......lalurar sa sai ta zamanto ni ta fi affecting akan kowa, tunda ni ce matarsa kuma uwar yayansa dan haka yanzu ni nake zaune da shi nake jinyarsa for over 10+ years, nauyin sa da na yayan mu da jikoki  duk suna kaina yanzu, kuma nima ba lafiyar nake da ita sosai ba. 

Wannan ita ce rayuwata a yanzu, ba kuma zan iya rabuwa da shi ba saboda yayan da suke tsakanin mu ba zasu yarda in tafi in bar mahaifinsu a cikin halin da yake ciki ba, jama'a ma kuma zasu zage ni in na tafi za'a ga kamar dan lalurar da yake ciki ne.
Amma duk wannan abin da ya faru, duk wannan halin da muke ciki, shekarun baya da ya dan samu sauki sai dana gani a wayarsa wani abokin sa ya turo masa number din wata tsohuwar karuwar sa da muka sha rigima da shi a kanta a baya. 
Wani lokacin sai inyi wa kaina tambaya ko wannan ita ce rayuwa ta? Ko kuma akwai light at the end of the darkness?

Allah ne masani.



*wannan littafin na siyarwa ne bisa amana, idan baki siya ba kar ki karanta, idan kuma kin siya kar kiyi sharing, idan kika yi kinci amana kuma ke da Allah*

*Be Safe*

Tare muka ci abinci da ita ya su Yasmin, though Yasmin kadan ta ci sai tace ta koshi, sai Diyam ta saka aka tafi dasu dakin babbar yarta Subay'a tace su je suyi wasa a can. And then we sat down, ta bani dukkanin hankalin ta tana jira in bata labarina but kamar kullum I became tongue tied, nayi ta juya maganar a raina na rasa ta inda zan fara mata. Can I even trust her?

Bata yi rushing dina ba ta barni na gama lissafe lissafe na sannan na fadi kalmar da ba yau na saba fadarta ba amma har yanzu tana da nauyi a harshe na kuma ta na da zafi a zuciyata. Nace "Diyam. Mijina. Umar. Mazinaci ne" 

Sai ta sunkuyar da idonta kasa tana kallon hannuna da ta rike a cikin nata, kamar ba zata yi magana ba, amma fuskar ta ta nuna tsananin tashin hankalin da magana ta ta saka ta a ciki, sai kuma tayi gyaran murya kadan sannan tace "kin tabbatar? Zina kike nufi ko kuma dai kwashe kwashen yammata irin na mazan wannan zamanin?" 

Na girgiza kaina "zina nake nufi Halima. Wallahi ni da ace Umar yammata ne yake yi kawai irin na soyayya, ko kuma ma ace auri saki yake yi ko da kuwa nawa zai aura wallahi bana jin zan ji abinda nake ji yanzu a zuciya ta. Ni da zaiyi aure da sai nafi kowa jin dadi, bana jin ko amaryar da zai aura zata kaini murnar auren sa, amma yaki auren, but it doesn't matter anymore. Na gama auren sa ni kam yanzu, ko yayi wani auren ko kuma ya je yake kwanciya da duk karuwan da suke Nigeria matsalar sa ce ba tawa ba" 

Na karasa ina tuno da yara na guda biyu da suke daki suke wasa, yaran da na haifa tare da shi, sai na ji sabbin hawaye sun zubo min.

I can't even say that, can I?

Ta kama hannuna sosai ta rike tana kokarin hana kanta biye min muyi kuka tare "uhm uhm Jidda, kar ki ce haka dan Allah. Kuskure ne babu wanda ya wuce yayi kuskure, kaddara ce babu wanda bata hawa kansa, na tabbatar mistake ne yayi, ko kuma ma ke ce kika yi mistake din ba wai abinda kike tunani bane ba, watakila ma rashin fahimta ce kuka samu. Insha Allah in yayi miki bayani zaki fahimci cewa ba abinda kike tunani bane ba"

Sai na samu kaina da yin murmushin takaici "you sound so much like him da kika fadi wannan kalmar, kullum abinda yake ce min kenan farko idan na kama shi da wannan laifin "Jidda ki saurare ni, I can explain, ba abinda kike tunani bane ba. But har yau ge never really did explain. Har yau abinda nake tunani din shine dai nake tabbatar wa. And yes, na tabbatar, ba sai daya ba ba sai biyu ba ba sau uku ba ba sau hudu ba, wadannan kuma wadanda na sani kenan, and he is so good at covering up and at pretending dan haka Allah ne kadai yasan yawan affairs din sa wadanda ban sani ba kuma maybe har abada ba zan sani ba. Bana so ma in sani din. Dan na gama aurensa. Matsala ta daya shine yadda zan rabu da shi a yanzu. Yadda zan samu ma iyayena su tsaya su saurare ni kuma su fahimce ni sannan su goya min baya su karbo min takardar saki na daga hannunsa shine problem dina a yanzu Diyam, ba wai yadda zan bullo masa ya daina zina ba dan na riga na rufe wannan page din and with him in it. Kuma son samu na shine rabuwar tamu ta kasance ba tare da bayyanar wannan mummunar dabiar tasa ba, ba waidan shi ba sai dan yayana da na haifa da shi. Diyam ya zanyi? Ki gaya min ya zanyi?"

Sai ta saki hannuna ta tashi. Ina ganin yadda idonta yayi ja amma bata ce min komai ba sai ta shiga wata kofa. Ta dan jima a ciki sannan ta fito, daga yadda fatar idonta ta tashi na fahimci zuwa tayi tayi kuka a bayan idona. Sai na fahimci cewa itama har yanzu tana da halin ta na saurin kuka kenan. Na tuna lokacin da muke hada kai muyi ta kuka a jss1, ko da kuwa abinda akayi mana bai kai na kukan ba.

Sai ta zauna a kujerar kusa da ni sannan tace "kin tabbatar da abinda kike fada? I mean ba zargin sa kike ba kin tabbatar?" Ban kalle ta ba nace "in by tabbatar wa kina nufin na taba kama shi turmi da tabarya to amsa ta "no" ce, in kuma kina nufin na tabbatar a zuciya ta cewa yana yi to amsa ta "yes" ce. Bayan haka kuma shi da bakin sa ya tabbatar min da cewa yana yi din, ya sha karbar laifin sa ba sau daya ba ba sai biyu ba. Daga baya ma ya tabbatar min da cewa shi sex addict ne, sai kuma yayi min alkawarin cewa yana iyakacin kokarin sa na ganin ya daina. But kusan shekari biyar kenan da yi min wannan alkawarin, amma bai daina ba, saia kara gaba da yake yi" 

A hankali naji ta ambaci "innalillahi wa inna ilaihir rajiun. Yanzu Jidda kina nufin shekara da shekaru kuna cikin wannan halin amma ko iyayen ki basu sani ba? Jidda so kike hawan jini ya kama ki ki mutu yayanki su zama marayu?" 

Na dan yi murmushin ganin yadda hankalin ta ya tashi sannan nace "hawan jini na nawa kuma Diyam? Ai na jima da hawan jini. Zuciyata ce kawai nake jira ta buga in mutu din, wannan kuma shine dalilin da yasa nace na gama, saboda yayana. Dan kar nayi musu asarar kaina kuma dan kar nayi musu asarar rayuwar su. Dan cigaba da zama da Umar tabbas tamkar na zuba rayuwar yayana a faifai nayi watsi da ita ne. Diyam mai aikina ya nema. A cikin gidana. Gidan da yayana suke ciki"

Na karasa maganar ina rufe fuskata da hannaye na tare da rushewa da kuka, zafin abin yana dawo min zuciyata sosai kamar yanzu ne Asabe take gaya min cewa ya neme ta. Diyam ta jawo kaina kafadarta ta rungume ni tana rarrashina duk da dai itama a cikin tata muryar ina jin sautin kuka. Sai na tuno da lokutan da mukan rungume kan mu muyi kuka akan senior ta zage mu ko some other silly excuse, lokacin bamu taba tsammanin rana zata zo da zamu rungume junan mu muyi kuka na gaskiya ba, kuka mai ma'ana ba.

Ta dago kaina daga jikin ta tana share min hawayena tare da cewa "bani labari Jidda, ki bani labarin duk abinda ya faru tun daga ranar da kika fahimci halin sa zuwa yanzu, ki bani labarin duk cases din da kuka samu, I want to know everything" na karasa share hawayen da hannun rigar ta da take jikina, rigar da breast curve din ta da hips din duk sunyi min yawa saboda yadda take a cike ni kuma nake a bushe. 

Nace "zan baki labari, amma bazan fara miki daga inda na fara fahimtar halinsa ba,zan fara miki ne daga inda na fara haduwa da shi, a hakan zaki fi fahimta ta bazaki judging dina ba.

Sai na bata labarin tun daga haduwa ta da Umar, irin son da nayi masa da kuma wanda nake tunanin shima yana yi min, duk da dai a yanzu bani da tabbas din ko duk shima fake din ne, na bata labarin case din yaya Jamila da abinda Abba yace da kuma shi Umar abinda yace, sai kuma abinda ta gaya min two days to daurin aurena da yadda na rufe magana ban gaya wa kowa ba. Sai kuma na bata labarin yadda rayuwar auren mu ta kasance da cases din da mukayi ta sami tun daga kan case din Zuwaira har zuwa case din Asabe, yadda yake tashin hankalin sa yayi ta rantsuwa tare da alkawarin ya daina, da kuma irin soyayya da kuma kulawar da ya ringa bani tun daga farkon auren mu har zuwa yanzu. 

Sai kuma ba bata labarin gidan su, yanayin tasowar sa da kuma abinda ya faru tsakani na da mahaifiyarsa lokacin da na sanar mata da halin da muke ciki, na kuma bata labarin namu gidan, yadda nake tunanin case din Mammy zai karasa ruguza dan guntun zumuncin da yake tsakanin yan'uwa na, da kuma yadda mukayi da Abba da Umma jiya da naje gida. 

Na karasa maganar da cewa "wannan shine labari na" sai ta mike tsaye, ta danyi tafiya kadan sannan ta dauko tissue ta dawo ta ciro ta bani sannan ta cira itama ta goge nata idon, sannan tayi gyaran murya tace.

"Tabbas Jidda kina cikin wani hali, kuma sai yanzu na fahimci dalilin da yasa kika fadi duk abubuwan da kika fada daga farko na cewa kin gama auren Umar da sauran su. Farko ni na dauka exaggeration ne irin namu na mata. Amma yanzu na fahimta, duk da cewa ba kowa ne zai fahimta din ba, kuma na yarda, you have every right to say kin gama auren Umar" 

"Ba zan ce wai na san dukkan halin da kike ciki ba Jidda, amma zance na fahimta, kuma na yarda. Saboda a shekarun baya na taba auren miji mai irin halin Umar, ko kuma ince wanda halinsa yafi na Umar muni dan shi bayan neman matan ma har da shaye shaye da duka, da wulakanci, sannan kuma da rashin soyayya. Amma kuma a lokacin ban damu ba, saboda na farko akwai yarinta a tare da ni a lokacin da rashin sanin ciwon kai, sannan uwa uba rashin soyayya. Bana son sa, dan haka ni a tawa karamar kwakwalwar a lokacin sai nake ganin zai iya zuwa yayi duk abinda yaga dama babu ruwana. Amma nasan da ace a yanzu ne da nasan ciwon kaina kuma na kara hankali da ba zan dauki halin nasa ba, duk kuwa da rashin son da make masa" 

Sai ta kuma mikewa ta je gaban wani hoto ta tsaya, na daga kai ina kallon hoton, hoton ta ne ita da wani dana tabbatar shine mijinta na yanzu, shine sadaukin ta. 

Ta dafa fuskarsa da hannunta sannan tace "amma idan da ace yanzu ne. Idan da ace Sadauki ne. Ace Sadauki ne yake da irin halayyar Umar, na tabbatar da cewa yana neman mata, ya kuma tabbatar min da cewa yana yi din. Da ace shine......." 

Sai tayi shiru yanayin fuskarta gabakidaya ya chanja, ta juyo tana kallona da budaddun idanuwa. "Ba ma zan iya ba, ba zan ma iya saka kaina a shoes din ki ba ballantana har in fahimci irin yadda kike ji Jidda. Lallai ke din jaruma ce ko da kuwaa cikin jarumai. Lallai ba kowacce mace ce zata dauki abinda kika dauka ba Jidda. Ni na tabbatar ba zan iya dauka ba Jidda. Ba zan iya ba. Allah kar ka dora min Allah" 

Ta karashe maganar tana kokarin rike kukan ta yake ta kokarin balle mata. Nayi shiru ina tunani, maganar ta tana yawo a kaina sai kuma na dago kai na sake kallon ta sannan na tambaya "idan ke ce, idan Sadauki ne, ya zaki yi?"

Ta sake juyawa ta kalli hoton wanda a yanzu na tabbatar shine Sadaukin, sai kuma ta dawo ta zauna a kusa dani tana cigaba da kallon nasa, sannan tace "idan da ni ce, idan ace Sadauki ne, ina jin I may end up doing exactly what you have been doing. Zan yi ta gayawa kaina cewa zai daina, inyi ta karbar excuses dinsa ina bashi chances. Zanyi ta expecting positive change from him musamman saboda son da nake yi masa, da kuma shi son da yake yi min, da kuma yayan da suke tsakanin mu, da kuma kyautatawar sa gare ni, da kuma..........sauran uncountable characters dinsa"

Ta juyo tana kallo na sannan tace "har sai a karshe, sai na kai karshe kamar yadda kika kai sannan zan fahimci gaskiya, gaskiyar kuma itace ba zai daina ba, ba zai daina ba Jidda, not if things continue going on like this" na sunkuyar da kaina kasa, yes tun jiya na riga nayi wannan realization din cewa ba zai daina din ba, but da ta fada sai naji maganar tayi min ciwo, but it is the truth, the hard bitter truth that I must face in ina son in cigaba da striving a duniya.

Na gyada kaina ina so in kara tabbatar wa da zuciyata da naji tana rawa akan maganar da ta fada, a hankali nace "haka ne, bazai daina ba. Umar ba zai daina ba" na fada more to myself than to her. 

Sai ta dago fuskata tana kallona tace "amma kin san dalili? Kin san dalilin da yasa ba zai daina ba?" Nayi shiru na kasa ce mata komai sai tace "saboda baya so ya daina" 

Na gyada mata kai cikin amincewa da maganar ta, tabbas Umar baya son ya daina abinda yake yi dan babu wani move, move na gaskit da yayi so far na ganin cewa ya daina din. Except move na yaudara da yake yi dan in dauka yana da niyyar dainawa.

Na tuni da pictures dinsa da Zuwaira a Lagos, the smile on his face, babu alamar da take nuna cewa baya jin dadin abinda yake yi. Na tuno chats dinsu da Bashir, the way and mannerda suke magana babu wani alama na cewa sun yarda cewa abinda suke yi ba dai dai bane ba ballantana wani trace na remose. Na tuno ganin da nayi masada Asabe a compound, hankalin sa a kwance yake yi mata magana yana yi mata murmushi, babu wata alama ta cewa baya jin dadin abinda yake yi.

Ta cigaba da magana

"Eh na yarda duk sanda kika kama shi da laifi yana shiga cikin tashin hankali kuma yana yin nadama amma a fahimta ta ba wai nadamar abinda yake yi yake ba, nadamar kin kama shi da abinda yake yi yake. Nadamar ya bata miki rai ba wai nadamar yayi wa Allah laifi ba, wannan shine dalilin da yasa duk nadamar sa take tafiya a banza saboda ba dan Allah yayi ta ba dan ke yake yinta. Tashin hankalin sa shine dan kin kama shi, ba wai dan tsoron wata rana Allah zai kama shi ba. Daga ya gama wannan nadamar kuma sai ya chanja salon kara rufe miki gaskiya dan kar ki sani, dan kar ki sake kama shi, burinsa shine kar ki gani ba wai kar Allah ya gani ba, tunda ya san ko ina ya shiga ko mai boyewar sa Allah yana kallon sa amma still yake yin abinsa"

"A fahimtata wannan shine yasa duk addu'ar da kika dauki shekaru kina yi masa ta fatan shiriya har yanzu bai shiryu din ba, ba wai dan Allah baya karbar addu'ar ki bane ba, a'a Allah yana karba amma shi yasan cewa Umar bai yi nadama ba bai yi taubatun nasuha ba, dan haka sai ya juya miki addu'ar ki zuwa abinda yafi alkhairi a gare ki. Shi yasa kike cigaba da samun nasara da daukaka a duka abinda kika saka a gaba"

"Kamar yadda umar ya gaya miki cewa sex addiction dinsa ne nima na yarda da hakan, musamman tunda ya ce ya fara ne tun yana da karancin shekaru dan haka barin sa zaiyi masa wuya, amma babu abinda yake da wahala a gurin ubangiji indai har bawa ya yarda dashi ya mika lamarin sa gare shi ya kuma yi hobbasa tare da yin iyakacin iyawarsa, tabbas Allah zaiyi wa wannan bawa nasa jagora zuwa tsira. Amma Umar bai yi kokarin komai ba, instead, he is busy enjoying his addiction"

"Anan kuma zan dauki laifin ne kusam gabaki dayan sa in dora wa iyayensa, negligence din su ne ya kai shi zuwa matakin da yake ciki a yanzu. Kuma ba wai zan dora wa iyayen Umar kadai laifin ba, zan dora laifin ga iyayen mu gabakidaya. Negligence din su akan tarbiyyar yaya maza ita ta kawo mu a matsayin da muke ciki yanzu a cikin al'umma musamman ta bangaren zinace zinace"

"Tun farko mutanen mu sun dauki wani mentality na cewa komai namiji yayi ado ne ƴa mace ita ce mai abin kunya, tun daga wannan statement din zamu fahimci cewa mutane basu dauki zunubin yin zina da wani muhimmanci ba, sunfi gudun abin kunya. In namiji yayi ai babu wanda zai sani, mace kuwa zata iyayin ciki aji kunyar al'umma ko kuma in tayi loosing virginity dinta shima za'a ji kunyar mijinta. Amma kunyar ubangiji fa? Kunyar kasa sauke nauyin da Allah ya dora musu na tarbiyya a matsayin su na iyaye fa?"

"Ba zan yiwa iyaye gabakidaya kudin goro ba, akwai masu kulawar, amma most basa kula da tarbiyyar namiji kamar yadda suke kula da mace, namiji da ya tashi kawai burin iyaye shine yayi karatu mai zurfi ko ya samu sana'a kwakwkwara, islamiyya ma ba'a fiya matsa musu su je ba shi yasa in an zo yin sauka sai kiga matan ajin saukar sun ninka mazan. Ba'a dami da idan ya fita ina yake zuwa ba, ba'a damu da wa yake mu'amala ba. Ba'a damu da me yake yi a inda yake zuwa ba. Hankali gabakidaya ya tafi kan kanwarsa ko yayarsa ana tabbatar wa da bata yawo ana tabbatar wa da tana saka hijab, ana tabbatar wa da bata da kawayen banza bata kula samarin banza. Shi kuma fa?"

"Ko a gurin tashin balaga, iyaye basu wani damu da yaya maza ba, mace da ga ta fara period hankali zai yi kanta za'a fara kafa mata dokoki, wasu ma har cewa suke yi "in kika bari namiji ya kama hannun ki zaki yi ciki" meaning cikin ake tsoro kenan ba wai abinda zaiyi leading to cikin ba. Amma babu wanda yake tsare namiji yace masa "in ka kama hannun mace zaka yi mata ciki" saboda me? Saboda me ake wannan banbancin for God's sake?"

"Suma ta yaya mazan suna bukatar guidance kamar yadda matan suke bukata. In suka balaga suna ganin changes a jikinsu kamar yadda matan suke gani, kuma suna bukatar a zaunar dasu a koyar da su a kuma saka su a hanyar yadda zasu kula da kansu." 

Imagine yaron daya fara balaga, ya fara wet dreams, ya fara samun early morning erections, ya fara jin feelings idan yaga jikin mace, ya fara jin yana so ya kasance da mace, ya fara ganin gashi a private part dinsa. Kuma bai san ya zaiyi ba, bai san ya zaiyi da wannan erection din ba, bai san ya zai yi managing wannan feeling din na son kasancewa da mace ba, babu wanda kuma ya zaunar dashi ya ce masa wane ga abinda zaka yi in kaji kaza ga yadda zakayi kamar yadda ake zaunar da mata ayi musu. Ko da ace an saka su islamiyya sun san cewa zina babu kyau a lokacin basu da cikakken hankalin fahimtar illarta, kuma tunda iyaye basu dora su akan hanyar da zasu bi ba sai su fara exploring da kansu. A age din ake fara masturbating. Daga nan kuma sun fara dandanar dadin abin sai su cigaba da exploring. Idan suka hadu da yammatan da suma suke going through the same puberty stage sai su fara aikata zina, kamar abinda ya faru da Umar, a lokacin da ace iyayensa sun saka ido sun lura da zasu iya dakile abin, amma basu ma sani ba saboda basu saka ido ba, sun bar shi shi kadai saboda suna ganin ai shi namiji ne babu komai, a hankali har ya gama fahimtar dadin abin, har abin ya gama shiga jikin sa ya zamar masa addiction ta yadda zaiyi wahala ya rabu dashi"

"Abinda iyayen sa da namu da mu kanmu muka sani amma muke acting kamar bamu sani ba shine ita zina bashi ce, in dai namiji yayi da kanwar wani sai anyi da tasa, in yayi da matar wani sai anyi da tasa, in yayi da uwar wani sai anyi da tasa, fadar Annabi ce sannan kuma alkawarin Annabi baya tashi. Shi wannan dan naki da kika bari babu tarbiyya, shi zai je ya ciwo bashin zinar da za'a zo a fanshe akan ƴar da kika killace kika yi wa tarbiyyar, an yi biyu babu kenan"

"Amma da ace zamu kula da tarbiyyar yayan mu maza tare da matan baki daya, mu cire mentality din cewa duk abinda namiji yayi ado ne, then we no longer need to worry about yayan mu mata. Idan ni da ke da sauran iyaye zamu bawa yayanmu maza tarbiyyar then there is a good chance cewa yayan mu mata zasu samu miji na gari, za'a daina samun yaran kirki irin ki suna karewa da auren lalatattu irin Umar. Idan mukayi haka, insha Allah, watarana zamu gabayan wannan zinace zinacen da muke fama da shi"

"Akan case din ki da Umar kuma. Ni a ganina, wannan shawarar da kika yanke na rabuwar da shi ita ce dai dai. Dan at this stage zama da Umar is dangerous to your physical and mental health, sannan kuma to your children. Tunda har kika iya daukan makami kina aiyana kai shi lahira, kuma kika iya daukan hannunki kika mare shi ba tare da kinsan kinyi marin ba, to tabbas Allah ne kadai yasan abinda zaki yi watarana in kika cigaba da zama da shi da sunan hakuri"

"Sannan kuma tunda har umarya kai matsayin da shaidan zai kawata masa kuchakar, kazamar mai aikin ki ya neme ta to tabbas nan gaba har ƴar yarinyar nan Yasmin shaidan zai iya kawata masa ita yaji yana son yaji ya take itama? Saboda abinda ma fahimta dashi ba wai mabukaci bane ba a'a kwadayayye ne. Kowacce mace ya gani sai yaji yana so yayi tasting, kuma matan ba karewa suke yi ba kuma ba karewar zasuyi ba shi yasa shima ba zai daina din ba. Kuma ba wai son su yake yi ba, daga ya kawarda kwadayin sa yake wulakanta su ya zubar dasu a bola kamar yadda ya faru da wadanda kika sani. Yana kuma da kyau da kudi da iya tsara maganar da zai yaudari duk wacce yake so. No woman is safe around maza irin Umar. Kamar yadda kika kori twins din nan daga gidan ki haka zaki cigaba da korar mutane dan kar ya neme su, kuma ba zai fasa neman ba, hatta Amira ba zaki so ta zauna a gidan ki ba, kuma hakan baya nufin in ta zauna kika fita kika barsu su biyu ba zai neme ta ba. Ko da bai ci nasara akan ta ba amma ai mutuncin sa da naki duk ya zube a gurin ta, a gurin duk wadda ya nema din".

Tabbas a ganina rabuwa din is the right thing to do a wannan matsayin da kuke ciki. Shi kansa auren fa ba farilla bane ba, abinda ake yi a cikin auren in anyi shi sune farilla. Mutum zai iya zama babu aure indai har zai kare hakkokin ubangiji kuma ya shiga aljanna, mutum kuma zai iya yin aure 
sannan kuma ya kekketa haddin aure sanadiyyar hakan kuma sai ya shiga wuta. Tabbas ubangiji shi ya halasta rabuwar aure amma kuma sai yace shi kansa baya son ta, amma kuma still bai haramta ta saboda ya san cewa wani lokacin rabuwar ita ce best solution for both parties. Rabuwar zata iya zama alkhairi a gare ki kuma alkhairi a gare shi. Abinda yasa nace alkhairi a gare shi saboda na fahimci yana son ki sosai, hence tashin hankalin sa a duk lokacin da kika kama shi da wannan laifin, amma me? Yaki daina wa duk ba cewa yana son ki kuma baya son bacin ranki amma kuma yasan kina sonsa kuma zaki bashi wani chance din. Wannan shine takamar sa. In ma kin kama shi daga yayi miki kuka ya nuna miki ya yi nadama shikenan zaki hakura. Stop giving him chances. Show him kazantar abinda yake yi yayi munin da ba zaki iya cigaba da zama da shi ba. Show him you can live without him you are better off without him. Watakila wannan zai nuna masa how deep yake a cikin kazanta. Watakila wannan zai farkar da shi daga baccin gafalal da yake ciki"

*Here's the bitter truth whether anybody likes it or not: The more chances you give someone in a relationship the less respect they start to have for you. They will begin to ignore the standards that you've set because they'll know another chance will always be given. They're not afraid to lose you because they know no matter what you won't walk away. They get comfortable with depending on your forgiveness. Never let a person get comfortable disrespecting you*

Na sauke ajjiyar zuciya. Maganganun ta sun shige ni sosai and they made me feel more determine and more focused on abinda na saka a gaba, rabuwa da Umar. Nace "naji duk abinda kika fada, kuma na gode sosai da maganganun ki da kuma shawarwari. Amma yanzu na riga na yanke shawarar da kike bani ta rabuwa da Umar, sai dai kuma ban san ta inda zan fara ba. Umar ba zai taba sakina ba, ya fada ya kuma maimaita wa. Ta yaya zanyi in rabu da shi idan bai sake ni ba?" 

Tace "Jidda ke mutum ce, free woman mai cikakken yanci ba baiwa ba, Allah ya baki daraja mai yawa kuma ya baki zabi a duk al'amuran rayuwar ki. A cikin zabin nan har na zama da mijinki ko akasin haka. Allah ya bayar da saki a hannun maza, amma saboda adalci irin nasa sai ya bawa mata suma nasu damar, ba wai damar ki ce ki saki mijinki ba a'a, sai dai zaki iya zuwa Shari'a court gaban alkali ki ce kina so a raba auren ki da mijin ki ba kya son cigaba da zama da shi. Wannan dama ce da addinin ki ya baki. Kuma alkali zai saurare ki tunda ya san damar ki ce. Zaki iya fadar kowanne dalili a matsayin dalilin da yasa kike son rabuwa da shi. Zaki iya cewa ma ba kya son sa ne yanzu ba kya son cigaba da muamalar aure da shi, shima wannan dalili ne da addini ya yarda a duba. Tabbas addini dan sulhu ne, musamman tunda ana maganar aure za'a yi kokarin yi muku sulhu, za'a kira shi da shi da waliyansa da naki sai ace ku je kuyi sulhu. Zaki iya amfani da wannan damar a gaban iyayensa da iyayenki da wakilin alkali wanda za'a hada ku da shi ki fadi duk labarin da kika fada min yanzu. There is a very high chance na cewa Umar zai rikice yayi admitting a gaban su sannan yayi kokarin rokon su su baki hakuri. Daga yayi admitting magana ta kare, alkali zai raba auren ku dan addini bai amince da aure tsakanin mumina da kuma fasiki ba. Alkalai da yawa suna raba aure in an tabbatar cewa miji ko mata fasiki ne".

"Idan kuma a zaki iya fadar wannan maganar a gaban waliyyanku ba saboda tayi miki nauyi ko saboda kina son kiyi preserving mutuncin sa da naki da na yayanku to kina da second option, zaki iya dagewa lallai ke ba kya son sulhu ke rabuwa kike so. To anan alkali zai nemi ki dawo wa da Umar sadakin da ya bayar lokacin da zai aure ki. Wadansu alkalan suna neman a dawo da har saura kudaden da aka kashe na al'ada musamman idan ba'a jima da yin auren ba, in an jima ma yawanci sadaki kadai ake karba tunda shine farilla sauran duk al'ada ce. But ya danganta da alkalin. But either way zaki bawa Umar wani abu alkali zai baki takardar da take nuna cewa ya raba auren ku. Shikenan."

Na yi shiru ina tunani, ta bani zabi har biyu, hanyoyi har biyu da zasu bullo da ni zuwa freedom from Umar, but kowacce akwai kalubale a cikin ta. Hanya ta farko zata wanke ni amma zata yi leading to abinda bana so, tonuwar asirin Umar ga jama'a tunda ba iyayen mu ne waliyyan mu ba, ni abokin Abba ne shi kuma kanin Baba, wadanda bani da tabbas din zasu boye maganar.

Option na biyu kuma ni zan fada a ciki, everyone will blame me for breaking my marriage for no reason, amma na shirya karbar blame din indai har ba za'a shafawa yayana fentin babansu ba. Sai dai kuma iyayena, Umma da Abba su nake so su fahimce ni kuma su goya min baya. If I can get them to do that then I will go for the second option.

Nace "matsala ta shine iyayena. Banaso in yi komai ba tare da amincewar su ba. Bana so suyi fushi da ni" tace "tabbas. Nima ba zanso kiyi komai ba tare da yardar su ba, dole sai mun nemo yadda zamu bi su fahimce ki tukunna" na fara jujjuya hannuna "ba wai fahimtar ba Diyam, yadda Abba zai tsaya ya saurare ni ma nake nema ni yanzu. Ita kuma Umma ba zata taba yarda cewa rabuwa da Umar a yanzu shine dai dai ba. Yajin da nayi ma already babban laifi ne a gurin Abba ballantana kuma guduwar da nayi. Ni tsoro nake ji ma kar ya tsine min akan wannan guduwar"

Ta rike hannuna "no ba zai yi haka ba Jidda, he is your father kuma yana son ki sosai in his own way. Wannan way din muke so mu samu muyi using mu jawo hankalin sa. Ban san how ba but nasan rashin sanin inda kike a yanzu will help him alot in realising how much he loves you. In kin yarda ki cigaba da zama anan gidan har zuwa lokacin da zamu ga is the right time da zaki koma gida, lokacin da muka ga in kika koma zai zauna ya saurare ki" 

Na ce "ba zaki gane ba, baki san halin Abba ba. Shi fa Abba tun da nake da shi babu wanda na taba jin yace masa a'a, komai yace eh ake ce masa. Sai ni da ya cewa in koma gidan Umar naki kuma na gudu na bar gidan, in Abba ya kama ni kashe ni ne kawai ba zaiyi ba wallahi" tace "kiyi hakuri. Ki daina fadar haka. Insha Allah in muka hada kai dani da ke zamu samo zaren yadda zamu warware matsalar. In Sadauki ya dawo gobe zan yi masa bayanin ki da duk problem din ki. Insha Allah zai shiga cikin maganar kuma zai yi using that smart brain of his ya samo mana yadda zamuyi mu shawo kan Abba. Kuma zan nemi amincewar sa akan ki cigaba da zama anan kafin mu shawo kan matsalar. Zaki zauna ai ko".

Nayi shiru ina tunani. Tabbas gidan Diyam is perfect hideout for me and my kids. Umar bai santa ba, I might have mentioned her name to him once or twice a matsayin kawata dana rabu da ita tun a junior school amma bana jin ma zai tuno sunan ballantana wani abu da ya shafe ta. Mufida bata san ta ba dan sai bayan Diyam ta bar school din sannan Mufida ta shigo. Yan gidan mu basu santa ba, maybe tun sanda muna tare da ita zasu san sunanta amma tunda aka cire ta daga school akayi mata aure na daina maganar ta a gida suma kuma haka. Friends dina kuma da suka santa sun san bama tare shekara da shekaru, bana jin akwai wanda zai kawo ta ransa in ana nemana.

But amma babu takura? Inje gidan kawa in zauna har da yara?

Nace "bana so in takura muku Diyam, gidan ki daga ke sai mijinki da yaran ku kuma kawai sai inzo in zauna muku? Babu dangin iya babu na baba?" Sai ta mike "in kin yarda zaki zauna shine kadai abinda nake bukatar ji. Ni na riga nayi alkawarin I will help you get through this, in ba kya son gidan nan zan iya kama miki haya ki zauna for the mean time, amma ni nafi son ki zauna anan din saboda security" 

Sai na mike nima ina rike hannayena a cikin juna "zan zauna din to, Nagode sosai Diyam. Allah yasa wannan taimakon da zaki yi min ya kasan ce sanadiyyar da ubangiji zaiyi farin ciki da ke" tayi murmushi tare da cewa "ameen. Nima Nagode da wannan addu'ar".

A ranar da yamma ta fita da kanta tayo mana siyayyar kayan sawa set biyar biyar ni da yara, da undies da sauran kayan bukata, da nayi mata maganar kudi sai tayi fushi, ni kuma ji nake kamar na dora mata nauyi da yawa ya kamata ace ta barni da siya mana kaya da kudina tunda akwai kudi a tare da ni sai dai haka na hakura dan nasan bazata karba ba.

Washegari, lokacin kwana na biyu a gidan, kwana na biyu rabona da gida,  da yamma mijinta ya dawo kamar yadda ta fada kuma yadda naga tana ta shirin taryar sa tun safe, sai na tuno da zuwan Umar Zaria sanda nayi ta shirin dawowar sa da kuma tsarabar da ya dawo min da ita. Sai na samu kaina da yi mata addu'ar Allah ya kare mata mijinta ya raba ta da mugun ji da mugun gani irin wadanda nayi ta haduwa da su.

Muna tare da ita a falon ta ya dawo, ya mike da sauri ta tafi taryar da yayin da ni kuma naji ni odd a gurin, banso ya shigo ya same ni ba. Na dauke ido na daga kansu a lokacin da ta dane jikinsa shi kuma ya daga ta suna dariya. Sai naji sun tuno min da wani abu, naji zuciyata ta motsa da memories masu cike da zaki da kuma daci. 

Ina jin tana masa Magana kasa kasa, ban san abinda take cewa ba amma na fahimci kokarin sanar da shi wanzuwa ta a gurin take yi dan kar ayi abin kunya. Sai ya ajiye ta sannan suka karaso but still yana makale da ita duk da dan kokarin ture shin da take yi cikin dabara. 

"Bakuwa muka yi?" ya fada da rich husky voice din sa. Na daga kai na kalleshi. He is dark skinned, giant, and very handsome. Tun daga jikin sa, shigarsa, yanayin sa, da confidence din da yake fitowa daga jikin sa zaka fahimci kalmar rich may just be his surname. 

Na gaishe shi "ina wuni? Ya hanya?" Yayi murmushi yana kara jan matarsa zuwa jikinsa "lafiya lau. Ya gida?" Sai kuma ya rada mata wani abu a kunne. Na sunkuyar da kaina yayin da Diyam ta janye daga gare shi tana dariyar abinda ya gaya mata duk da ban san menene ba sai kuma tace "Jidda ce fa? Ka tuna Jidda kawata ta taura science?" Ya dan yi shiru yana tunani sannan yace "wadda kuke kuka tare?" Duk muka yi dariya tace "yeah. Ita fa. After shekara da shekaru Allah ya sake hada mu" ya gyada kai, "yayi kyau. Yayi kyau sosai" 

Sai nace "uhmmm lokacin sallah yayi. Bara in je daki inyi sallah" duk suka amsa sannan na fita da sauri na rufe musu kofa tare da sauke ajjiyar zuciya. Ina ma ina ma? Ina ma Umar is not who he is? We could have be just like Diyam da Sadauki.

Ban sake ganin ta ba sai dare, tazo ta tabbatar bama bukatar komai ni da yara, ta danyi wasa da Yasmin da ta wuni tana kunci, sannan ta fita.

Na kwanta rigingine ina kallon ceiling, ina jin abinda ya motsa dazu a zuciya ta yana kokarin hana ni tunani straight, nasan dama it is there, bakin ciki ne kawai ya danne shi and I intend to cigaba da danne shi har ya tafi gabaki daya. 

And I heard my foolish heart asking me "ko me Umar yake yi yanzu?" Nayi tsaki tare da juyi ina kallon yaran mu da suke bacci a gefe na "Yana can yana ta hauka, that's for sure" Na amsa wa kaina.

A wannan daren ma haka na kasa bacci, na ringa yi ina mafarkan Umar yana ta haukan, da kuma mafarkan Abba yana kumfar bakin in ya kamani sai na lahira ya fini jin dadi. A haka har agogo ya kai kan karfe ukun dare. Na jawo handbag dina na dauko wayata da kwananta biyu a kashe na kunna ta, messeges suka yi ta shigo wa kamar an bude famfo, sai da ta gama settling sannan na shiga messeges din na ga kusan duk daga Umar ne, har ba zan iya irga adadin su ba. Na kashe kawai na karanta.

"I know I have been a very bad husband. Na san nayi miki abinda zuciya ma ba zata iya dauka ba. And I deserve ko ma menene daga gare ki. But please, just talk to me. Reply me ko da da alphabet daya ne. Ko da da kalma marar ma'ana ne. So that in san cewa you are okay. Please Jidda."

Na fita daga kan sunan sa ina fatan a cikin messages din akwai wanda zan iya using a matsayin shaida akan sa.

Na ga kuma na yaya Tahir "call me"

Na fita and I resist the urge to open my WhatsApp, amma sai na bude instagram, hoping to find pictures and videos da zasu debe min kewa har bacci ya dauke ni. But the first post a saw was from Umar, yayi posting around 12 na daren ranar. 

Hoton hannunsa ne with my band on it, ya juyo dai dai gurin rubutun "beauty queen". I noticed yadda strings din duk suka tsufa wadansu ma dun tsinke. Yayi captioning picture din 

"Be Safe. Please"


Ga masu son siya zasu iya turo kudin su #300 zuwa wannan account din

0779484494
Nafisa Tafida Usman
Access Bank

Sai su turo evidence of payment zuwa wannan number din ta hanyar WhatsApp
08067081020

Wadanda basu da account kuma zasu turo MTN recharge card na 300 zuwa wannan number din 08067081020

Please banda kira, WhatsApp only 

*wannan littafin na siyarwa ne bisa amana, idan baki siya ba kar ki karanta, idan kuma kin siya kar kiyi sharing in kika yi kin ci amana kuma ke da Allah*

*The Phone Call*

Na kife screen din wayar tare da jan karamin tsaki, sai kuma na juya baya na tare da jan abin rufa na rufe har fuskata, mintuna kadan sai na bude idon sannan na juyo na kuma daukan wayar na sake duba post din nasa.

"Be safe. Please" 

Na runtse idona ina jin hawaye suna zubowa daga idona suna bin gefen fuskata zuwa cikin kunnena. Na kuma bude idon tare da sake kallon hoton, sai na shiga cikin comments naga yan uwan mu da abokan arziki suna ta yi masa jaje, from their comments na fahimci an dauka bata muka yi ko sace mu akayi, wadansu ma suna tunanin kidnapping din mu akayi, cikin masu yin jajen har da Bashir. But nasan shi Umar din ya san ba sace mu akayi ba, Umma da Abba ma sun sani. Sai na samu kaina da tambayar kaina ko me suke ciki? Ko wadanne matakai suka dauka na ganin sun gano in da muke? Ko kuma sunyi fushi sunce sun bar wa duniya mu?

Na fita daga instagram din sannan na kashe wayar na mayar da ita cikin jaka na ajiye, amma bacci ya gagari idona and my stupid heart want to know halin da Umar yake ciki. It belongs to him dama na sani, it always does, but a hankali it will learn to live without him.  Sai na hakura da baccin na tashi nayi alwala nayi sallah ina rokon Allah ya bani juriya da karfin zuciyar fuskantar battles din da suke gaba na, the battle with iyayena, with yayana, with the society and with my heart. 

Washegari Diyam ta same ni da maganar cewa tayi wa mijinta magana ta kuma ya amince da in zauna a tare da su zuwa muga yadda Allah zaiyi da ni, ya kuma ce in bashi address din gidan mu da kuma na Umar dan ya saka a ke bincika min halin da suke ciki kuma muke sanin duk moves din su dan musan move din da zamu yi mu kuma. 

Sannan kuma yace in zauna in bari su  nemo ni da kansu, in their struggle to find me zasu fahimci how much they love me, sai dai kuma in lokaci ya ja da yawa ba tare da sun samo ni din ba sai ni in neme su saboda auren da yake kaina. Ya kuma yi min alkawarin tsaya min da duk karfin sa na jiki da na aljihu, yana kuma yi min fatan alkhairi.

Naji dadin haka sosai, naji dadin kulawar su da shawarwarin su da maganganu masu dadi dana samu daga gare su, sai naji ina fatan ina ma dai al'umma zasu yi koyi dasu? Ina ma dai sauran mata zasu zama kamar Diyam suke taimakawa tare da tsayawa yan uwansu mata a duk sanda suke buƙatar hakan? Amma mata da yawa su suke haka rami su binne yaruwarsu mace dan kawai suyi replacing position din ta in a society. Sun manta karma, what ever you do will be done to you.

Time started moving, slowly at first sai kuma ya fara gudu, days turned in to weeks and week turned to month
Har na yi wata daya a gidan Diyam. At first rayuwar da wahala, na kasa adapting haka yara na ma musamman Yasmin har sai da tayi ciwo farkon zuwan mu kuma har yau bata warware ba. She kept to her self and cry for her Daddy some times, other times kuma ta kan saka ni a gaba da  tambayoyin yaushe zamu koma gidan mu? Me muke yi anan? Ina daddyn su yaushe zai zo ya dauke mu? 

Asad kuma ya saki jikinsa daga farko, musamman da babbar yar Diyam Subay'a tazo gidan take kuma daukan sa suyi wasa har ta koya masa swimming a pool din gidan, amma daga baya shima sai ya fara gajiya ya fara damuna da tambayoyi, daga karshe ma sai ya tsiri yin kuka kusan kullum da daddare yace shi gurin Daddy zai tafi ya kwana a can. 

I kept telling myself cewa zasu saba, nima zan saba, but in reality kullum in suna kukan nima rufe kaina nake yi a toilet inyi abina in wanke fuskata in fito cos I was also battling with my own heart amma na riga na yanke hukunci kuma I don't think zan chanja magana, na gama auren Umar.

Diyam har been so supportive, ta taimaka min sosai da kalamai da shawarwari sannan tana iyakacin kokarin ta gurin debe min kewa a hanyar ja na a jiki da involving dina a dukkan household activities dinta, but bana shiga musamman in nasan mijinta yana nan, in yana gida kullum ina daki duk da nasan gidan ba lallai ne ma in na fito mu hadu ba but bana son in zama na takura musu in any way. 

In sunyi baki ma bana fitowa, wannan kuma shawara ce muka yi da ita dan bamu san irin bakin da zata yi ba maybe wadanda suka san ni ne ko kuma suka ga cigiya ta wadda a yanzu babu inda cigiya ta bata kai ba. Kuma duk mutane sun tafi akan cewa sace mu akayi ni da yara saboda son da Umar yake yi mana. 

Mijin Diyam ya taimaka min yayi amfani da connections dinsa gurin karbar min leave daga gurin aiki, wannan shine kadai sakon da na tabbatar Umar ya samu daga gare ni. And a ranar da daddare bayan na kunna wayata kamar yadda na mayar aladata sai naga sakon sa.

"Thank you. Thank you for letting me know you are safe" 

Nayi tsaki ina jin haushin yadda ya dauka saboda shi nayi haka. Wata zuciyar ta bani shawarar inyi masa reply ince ba dan shi bane ba wata kuma ta ce in rabu da shi, kulawa ma ai yabawa ce. 

Na kan turawa yaya Tahir sako duk sanda na bude wayata, telling him am okay, ina kuma rokonsa da ya gaya wa Umma cewa lafiya ta kalau, he kept insisting in kira shi amma naki, ya fara tambayata inda nake shima ban bashi amsa ba. Kamar yadda ban taba bawa Umar amsar sakonnin sa da yake turowa endlessly duk rana duk dare ba, most of which bana ma karantawa, da yawa dana karanta kuma rantse rantse ne akan cewa karya Asabe take yi masa, sai kuma alkawarirrikan cewa ya tuba ya daina halayyar sa, da yawa daga ciki kuma kalaman soyayya ne da nuna irin son da yake yi min da irin halin damuwar da yake ciki na rashina da yaran mu a tare da shi.

"I loved you yesterday, I love you today,  and I will love you tomorrow and forever" 

One of the messages said. And I immediately deleted it.

Wanj lokacin kuma fada ne, har da masifa sometimes 

"You think ba zan iya rayuwa ba sai da ke? To kinyi kuskure. Ki fi ruwa gudu. I will live just fine with or without you"

Ko sai daya ban taba bashi amsa ba

Sanda mukayi wata daya ne wata rana da dare bayan na kwantar da yara sai Diyam tazo tace in je inji Sadauki. Na saka one of the hijabs da ta bani na bita a baya muka hau samansa, the first time da na shiga bangaren sa kenan and I couldn't help but noticed irin tsari da kuma irin kudin da aka zuba a gurin. Yana zaune akan carpet yana wasa da twins din sa, na zauna can gefe tare da gaishe shi. Ya amsa sannan yace "an kawo min labari, maman ki tayi tafiya zuwa kasar iyayen ta. Ethiopia ko?" 

Na ja numfashi na bude ido sannan na rufe baki da hannu na cikin mamaki "umma ta tafi Ethiopia?" Ya ajiye Aabid da yake kan cinyarsa yace "kamar murna naga kina yi? I thought zaki ji babu dadi ne ta tafi garin su a lokacin da ake tsakiyar neman ki?"

Diyam ta zauna kusa da shi tace "murna take taya Umma, Umma tunda aka haifeta bata taba taka kafarta zuwa kasar iyayenta ba saboda Abba ya hana ta. Babu abinda take so a rayuwar ta fiye da taje garin su kuma yanzu burinta ya cika taje" 

Naji hawaye ya taho min, Allah sarki Umma ta, "amma ya akayi ta tafi?" Na yi tambayar more to myself. Sai Sadauki yace "I am guessing Abban ku ne ya tura ta can neman ki. Maybe ya dauka can kika tafi" na sake girgiza kaina cikin rashin fahimta nace "maybe. But I doubt that. Bana jin Abba zai karya kambunsa na cewa ba zata je garin su ba just saboda na bata. Bana jin I am that important to him. Bana jin zaiyi magana biyu akaina" 

Diyam tayi murmushi "Jidda kenan. Kina son Yasmin?" Na bude ido ina kallon ta, sai ta sake tambayata "kina son Yasmin? Zaki iya karya wani alkawari da kika yi saboda ita?" Nace "of cause ima son ta mana. Ba kuma abinda ba zan iyayi saboda ita ba in dai bai sabawa islam ba" tace "to haka Abba. Iyayen mu basu iya nuna soyayya ba, musamman mazan, suna ganin in suka nuna wa matansu ko yayan su so hakan zai rage musu kwarjini a idon su amma kuma suna son mu kamar yadda muma muke son yayan mu"

Nayi shiru still not believing that. Sai kuma nace "but na kan yi wa yaya Tahir text message in gaya masa ina nan lafiya lau, kuma ina using number dina ne, that ought to show them ina kasar nan ne ban bar kasa ba" 

Sadauki yace "really? Then maybe baya gaya musu. Maybe yana da nashi dalilin na kin gaya musu. Ko kuma yana gayawa Umma ita ce bata gaya wa Abba with hope that zai barta ta je garin su, and now she got her wishes" 

Nayi shiru ina jujjuya maganar, naji dadi da Umma ta samu damar ziyartar danginta a saboda wannan abin da ya faru, lallai komai yana da nashi good side din, but my heart ached for her idan har yaya Tahir baya gaya mata sakona.

Muryar Diyam ta sake dawo dani cikin hayyacina "and there is another news, ban san good news zan ce ba ko kuma bad" na dago ina kallon ta ina jin kirjina yana bugawa, sai ta juya ta kalli Sadauki, nima na kalle shi, sai ya gyara zamansa yace "it is about your husband. An kore shi daga aiki"

Na rufe ido na na bude, absorbing the news. Sannan kuma a hankali nace "me ya aikata?" Yace "well, ance tun da kuka bar shi ya bar zuwa aiki saboda ya tattara hankalin sa gabaki daya zuwa neman ku. Sai suka bashi quiry, maimakon ya amsa sai ya je ya samu wanda ya rubuta masa query din ya mammare shi sai da aka fitar da shi daga gurin" na sunkuyar da kaina ina wasa da yatsu na ban ce komai ba, wato haukan da nace Umar yana can yana yi da gaske yi din yake yi kenan. 

Diyam ta taso daga kusa da mijinta ta dawo kusa dani ta dafa ni "kiyi hakuri Jidda, kiyi ta addu'a kinji? Kiyi ta addu'ar Allah ya zaba muku mafi alkhairi gabaki daya, kiyi addu'ar Allah ya sa abinda muke fata ya tabbata, Allah yasa wannan abin da ya faru ya zamanto silar shiryuwar sa in akwai shiriya a tare da shi, ke kuma Allah ya duba kokarin da kika yi kuma kike kanyi ya zaba miki mafi alkhairi a rayuwar ki" na dago kai ina kallon taima jin zuciyata a bushe sannay nace "ameen Nagode Halima" na juya na kalli mijin nace "Nagode sosai. Allah ya saka da alkhairi" 

Diyam ta mike ta koma kusa dashi sai yayi murmushi tare da jan hancinta yace "ameen. I can do anything for Sadiyam" ta bata rai tana matsawa daga kusa dashi tace "ka takurawa hancina, so kake ka nane min shi ko" yayi dariya "son shi dai na ke yi"

Sai na fahimci sun ma fara mantawa dani a gurin, na tashi na fita sannan na fara sauka daga benen ina hada stairs bibbiyu a lokaci daya haka kawai nake jin wani memory yana zuwa kaina.

Muryar Umar "kin takurawa kunnena wallahi" muryata "laushi ne dashi, dadin tabawa"

Nayi sauri na kawar da memoryn daga kaina sannan na doshi dakin da aka sauke mu a ciki.

Ina kokarin shiga dakin naji magana, na dan kara sauri thinking Yasmin ce ko Asad wani ya tashi yake nemana. But ina shiga naga Yasmin a zaune a bakin gado hannunta rike da wayata ta saka a kunnenta. 

"Eh gidan mai kyau ne Daddy, har da swimming pool"
"Ban sani ba"
"Akwai twin babies"
"Sunanta Aunty Halima"

Cikin seconds biyu na karasa inda take na warce wayar da sauri tare da daka mata tsawa "Yasmin!" sannan na daga hannu da niyyar marin ta. Ta zame daga kan gadon ta sauko kasa ta dunkule a guri daya tare da kwalla kara. "Mommy dan Allah kar ki dake ni dan Allah ki yi hakuri" 

Sai naji na kasa dukan nata, sai shegen magiya kamar babanta, na kalli screen din wayar naga sunan Umar a jiki, kuma ita ta kira shi ba shi ya kira ba dan wayar a kashe take a cikin jaka ta, time still yana reading a kan screen din wayar meaning har yanzu yana rike da wayar kuma yana jin abinda muke yi, na saka wayar a kunnena and I heard his voice for the first time in one month. And it sounded so broken, babu wannan mazantakar da wannan takamar a ciki. 

"Kar ki dake ta, dan Allah Jidda kar ki dake ta" 

Na katse kiran tare da kashe wayar sannan na sunkuya na kama kunnenta na ja, tayi kara tare da rike kanta da hannu biyu "uban wa yace ki buda min jaka ki daukar min waya? Huh? Waya ce ki daukar min waya har ki kunna ta kiyi kira da ita?"

Ta fara tsiyayar hawaye "mommy am sorry, Daddy na nake so in kira, gurin Daddy nake so in je. Bana son gidan nan ni gidan mu zan tafi"

Na saki kunnen sannan na zauna a bakin gadon tare da dafe kaina. Allah kadai ya san abinda ta gaya masa. But how much did she really know? Bana jin tasan abubuwa da yawa but you can't really tell dan wasu yaran kana ganin kamar basa fahimtar abinda ake yi amma suna sane. If she did mentioned the name Diyam na tabbatar gobe zai zo gidan nan, dan sunan is unique yadda tana fada zai tuna da sunan kuma zai tambayi Mufida ita kuma zata tambayi friends din da muka yi jss tare and Ramla can take them to gidan su Diyam. Daga nan sai nan gidan.

But ban tabbatar ta fadi Diyam din ba. Naji dai ta fadi Halima. Ta kuma fadi twins, da gida mai kyau, da kuma sauran abubuwan da ban sani ba. And those are clues enough to trace us. Dole zan gaya wa Diyam but sai da safe tunda yanzu tana tare da mijinta.

Na juya ina kallon ta, ina lura da yadda jikinta yake karkarwa tana kuka, sai naji tausayin ta, so innocent, ita bata san me yake faruwa ba ita bata san kusan dan ita nake komai ba, ita kawai abinda take so shine ta ga babanta. She has always been daddy's girl tun tana Baby. Na tambayi kaina menene abin yi? amma bani da amsa a lokacin, sai nace mata ta taso ta kwanta, sai data zagaye ta can nesa da ni sannan ta kwanta tana tsoron kar kama ta inyi mata dukan da ban yi mata ba. 

Na bita da kallo sannan nace "ko babu komai ubanki zai kwana da zullumin kin ci jibga yau".

Ai kam ya kwana din, dan ranar bai yi bacci ba yana tracing wacece Halima a cikin kawayen Jidda wacce take auren mai kudi kuma take da twin babies sannan suke zaune a kano? It is going to be a challenge but he is going to do it. Dan a yanzu gani yake yi babu abinda rayuwa zata yi throwing his way wanda ba zai iya handling ba. Tun da har yayi handling wannan wata gudan.

His nightmare began with a phone call from Abba bayan Jidda taje gida, yana ta tsoron abinda Jidda ta fada wa Abba da kuma abinda Abban zai ce da kuma matakin da zai dauka akai, but to his upmost surprise sai yaji Abban yace yazo ya dauki Jidda su dawo gida, kuma daga alama ma ko sauraren Jiddan Abban bai yi ba dan shima da ya fara kokarin ba da hakuri sai Abban yaki sauraren sa yace abinda ya faru sirri ne tsakanin miji da mata dan haka shi baya son ji, su bar shi a tsakanin su.

Ji yayi kamar wanda akayi wa babban albishir, yaji kamar duniya babu wandaya fishi sa'ar siriki kamar duniya babu surikin kwarai irin Abba. A take ya yanke shawarar in komai ya lafa zai samu wata kyauta ta bajinta yayi masa dan nuna jin dadin sa akan abinda yayi masa. 

Ba tare da bata lokaci ba ya shiga mota ya dauki hanyar gidan su Jidda. Ya san dai ko sun dawo gida zai sha tijara a gurin ta zasuyi rigima sosai amma shi yasan kan kayarsa, yasan ta yadda zai biyo mata har ta sauko su cigaba da rayuwar su, and wannan rigimar ta su insha Allah ita zata kasance ta karshe a tsakanin su, ba zata kuma kamashi da laifi makamancin wannan ba.

Amma haka yayi ta fada mata ai........
For six years kullum haka yake ce mata wannan shine na karshe............

Haka yayi ta fada wa kansa ai.............
For more than 15 years kullum sai ya gaya wa kansa cewa wannan shine na karshe, then in ya sake yi sai yace na ƙarshe in ya kuma yi ya sake cewa na karshe....  

Wanne ne zai zamo na karshe?????

Ya tambayi kansa. Sai kuma ya dan daki stirring "damn it. Wannan case din shine na karshe" ya fada a hankali yana so maganar da yayi tayi sinking zuwa zuciyarsa but it didn't, a fatar bakin sa ta tsaya. Ya girgiza kansa "a hankali dai. I am almost getting there. Na rage sosai kuma na kusa dainawa" ya sake fadawa kansa. But wannan shine abinda yake fadawa kansa kullum but is it really true? Da gaske ya rage din ya kusa dainawar ko kuma abinda yake gayawa kansa kenan kafin wani opportunity din yayi presenting kansa?

Zuciyarsa fes ya yi packing a kofar gidan su Jidda, ya kalli gidan yana tuno sanda yake zuwa gurinta zance da yadda take rako shi bakin mota tana ta jin kunyarsa. Yayi murmushi. She is a very special kind. Very special to him.

Ya dauko wayarsa ya nemo number dinta "Baby Dove" a ransa yana aiyana yadda take cikin fushin nan ko ya kira ma ba zata dauka ba, maybe ma tayi pretending kamar bata gani ba amma dai zai kira din ya kuma sake kira just to show her how much he cared. 

Ya kira bata dauka ba kamar yadda yayi tsammani, sai ya sake kira ya kuma kira. Sai kuma ya juya yana kallon gidan, haka kawai yake jin wani irin feeling kamar basa cikin gidan, kamar something has been torn away from his heart sai wawakeken rami ne a gurin. 

Yayo kokarin dauke tunanin sa daga kan abin sai kuma ya kira number din Amira, niyyar sa ya gaya mata ta gaya wa Jidda yazo, ya san zata fada a gaban mutane kuma hakan zai tirsasa wa Jiddan fitowa. Sai dai wayar Amiran bata shiga. 

Ya bude kofar motar without second thought ya doshi gidan yana jin emptiness din cikin zuciyarsa yana karuwa. Ya shiga tsakar gidan yana raba idon ganin Asad ko Yasmin ko kuma jin wani motsi da ya dangancesu. "Salamu alaikum" yayi sallama, hoping to hear her voice answer him.  

Amma sai yaji muryar Amira ta amsa tare da fitowa daga dakin Umma, ta tsaya tana kallon sa sannan ta fara raba ido a tsakar gidan. "Ina yayar?" Ta tambaya. Ya kalli tsakar gidan shima cikin rashin fahimta yace "ban gane ba. Ita nazo dauka" ta bude sitting room da sauri ta shiga ta fito sannan ta shiga dakin Farhan ta fito tana kallon sa idanunta a waje "bata nan" tace, ya yamutsa fuska cikin rashin fahimta "ban gane bata nan ba. Ina ta tafi? Ina Yasmin da Asad" 

Ta dan diririce kadan "muna daki tace zata yi waya da kai, ta fito kuma sai ta kira su Yasmin tace su zo suyi waya da kai. Bata kira ka ba?" 

Ya bude hannu, zuciyar sa tana bugawa da karfi a kirjinsa "wanne kira kike nufi ne wai. Ina Jidda? Ina Yasmin? Ina Asad? Ina suka yi?" Amira ta juya da sauri ta koma dakin Umma, amma kafin ta gama shiga Umma ta fito da charbi a hannunta, maganganun sa ne suka fito da ita. Ta kalle shi ta kalli Amira "ina Jiddan?" Amira tace "ina jin fa guduwa tayi, da ta fito tace zatayi waya ba wayar tayi ba guduwa tayi" 

Hajiya ta fito daga nata dakin itama da charbi a hannun ta, tana ja at the same time tana magana "me nake ji ana fada kamar guduwa? Waye ya gudun? Ba dai Jidda ce da tayi yaji kuma yanzu ta gudu ta shiga duniya ba? Kai kai kai! Wannan abin bai yi dadi ba, wannan abin kunya da me yayi kama?"

Umar ya juya yana kallon ta a fusace, abu daya da ya hana shi shakar wuyan ta a lokacin shine matsayin da take dashi a gurin Jidda. Amma bai jira jin sauran magana ba saboda tashin hankalin da kalaman Amira suka saka a zuciyar sa, ya fita da sauri yana kallon layin gidan up and down, babu kowa saboda yanayin sanyin da ake yi ya kori mutane gida, maganar Amira tana yawo a kansa "ina jin fa guduwa tayi" 

Yayi hanyar bakin titi da saurin da yafi kama da gudu. A dai dai bakin layin ya hadu da wani yana kokarin shigowa layin, ya kama hannun sa da sauri "ka ganta? Kaga wata ta fito yanzu da yara biyu a hannunta?" Ya fada yana kwatanta tsahon Yasmin da na Asad da hannun sa. 

Mutumin ya bishi da kallo sannan yace "Jidda kake nema wai? Ina ta tafi?" Sai yanzu ya kalli fuskar wanda yake tambaya din, ya tuna shi amma ya manta sunan sa, shine wanda ya ke zuwa gurin Jidda Lokacin da shima yake neman ta. Ya sake shi da sauri kamar an mintsine shi sannan cikin sauri ya karasa fita daga layin ya bi street din da kallo, babu Jidda babu mai kama da ita. 

Ya tsallaka titin da sauri ba tare da ya kula motocin da suke ta yi masa horn ba. Ya doshi gurin masu furnitures din da suke da shagon su yana kallon layin gidan su Jidda, ya tarar suna kokarin shigar da kayan su cikin shago alamar sun tashi, "salamu alaikum, dan Allah kun lura da wata mata da ta fito daga layin can dazu? Da yara biyu a hannunta?" Na farko ya girgiza kai, Umar bai tsaya jiran abinda zai ce ba ya tafi gurin na biyun wanda yake tsaye yana kallon sa cikin sigar mamakin irin rudewar da yake ciki. 

"Jidda kake nufi wai? Kanwar Tahir?" Umar ya karasa da sauri ya kama hannunsa guda daya a cikin nasa biyu. "Eh ita, kanwar Tahir. Ka ganta?" Ya gyada kai tare da kwace hannunsa yana yarfar wa yana yiwa Umar kallon tsoro "eh na ganta. Zan tafi masallaci na ganta ana sauke su a a daidaita suka shiga gidan su, sanda na dawo kuma sai na ganta da yaran a bakin layin su suna shiga wata adaidaita din" 

Umar ya juya ya kalli inda ake nuna masa kamar mai fatan ganin su a gurin. Sannan ya juyo ya kalli mutumin "ina suka yi" mutumin ya nuna masa gabas "nan suka yi......." Umar ya juya da sauri yayi hanyar da aka nuna masa ba tare daya jira karin bayani ba ko kuma yayi wa mutumin godiya ba. 

Da sauri mai kama da gudu ya bi titin har zuwa junction, inda titin ya rabu gida hudu. Ya tsaya yana bin kowanne titi da kallo kuma akan kowanne titi adaidaita sahu ne birjik kamar jumper a Jos, "she is in one of those" ya fada a hankali duk da a ransa yasan in dai ta fita kafin shigowar sa unguwar to tabbas tayi nisa, ya saka hannun sa daya aka daya kuma ya saka a aljihu ya dauko wayarsa ya sake kiran number dinta "pick up pick up pick up" ya riga maimaita wa kamar fadar ta sa ita zata saka ta dauka, ta katse ya sake kira, bayan ta katse ya kuma kira sai yaji network busy. 

Hannu yaji an taba shi a bayan sa, ya juyo da sauri suka hada ido da Abba, Abba yace "Doctor ka taho gida. Mutane suna ta kallon ka anan" daga nan ya kama hannunsa basu tsaya ko ina ba sai a cikin sitting room, ya nuna masa kujera, "zauna" amma Umar bai zauna ba sai ya fara safa da marwa  yana cigaba da kiran number din Jidda, sai kuma ya tsaya yana kallon Abba da yake kallon da wani irin expression mai wahalar fahimta "Tahir. Gidan Tahir zata tafi" Umar ya fada  yana kirkirar murmushi, fuskar sa tana nuna jin dadi. 

Abba yace "ta dauki wayar ne? Ko message ta turo maka?" Umar ya zauna "a'a bata dauka ba, amma wancan karon da muka samu matsala can taje gurinsa kuma yace in wani abu ya kuma faruwa ta gaya masa zai dauki mataki" Abba ya mike, ransa a bace "shi Tahir din? Dama shi yake daure mata gindi kenan, zai zo ya gaya min ni na haife ta ko shi ya haifar min ita?" Umar ya dafe kansa yana jin haushin kansa, wani lokacin ma dai surutu bashi da dadi. 

Abba ya shiga gida yana bambamin fada "Aisha! Kina ina! Ki kira Tahir ki ce masa ya dauko yarinya ta ya dawo min da ita yanzu yanzun nan" Umma ta fito daga daki hannunta rike da wayarta, fuskar ta rubuce da tashin hankali "Tahir? Bata gidan sa, na kira shi a waya ai. Sai dai ko in ta akan hanya. Na kira Afia ma bata can. Sai dai mu jira anjina muji inda zata bulla. Ai ba zata wuce wadannan guraren ba" 

Ya juya ya koma gurin Umar yana cigaba da fada. "Duk inda taje ma zata dawo ne, za kuma ta same ni ne tunda ni zata mayar mutumin banza. A baro gidan mijinta kuma in umarce ta ta koma amma ta nuna min ban isa ba, sannan ta kama hanya ta fita kuma in kira ta taki dauka"

 Fada yake yi har bakinsa yana kumfa, yana yi Hajiya tana bashi hakuri "kar kaje wani ciwo ya same ka Alhaji, ba ita kadai ce yar ka ba, in ka mutu ita bata da matsala  ma tunda iya yar gatan miji ce"

Umar dai yana zaune yana cigaba da kiran wayar Jidda, daga baya ya koma tura mata messages.

"Jidda please don't do this"

"In kin fi son zama anan ni zanyi wa Abba magana ya barki ki zauna anan din"

Ya cigaba da kira amma bata da niyyar dauka. Ya sake tura mata sako

"Just pick up the damn phone"

Amma bata dauka ba.

Time ya cigaba da tafiya. Duk inda zata je ya kamata ace yanzu yaje, amma kuma babu wanda ya kira yace gata nan taje gidan sa. Daga nan suka fara kiraye kirayen yan'uwa ana tambaya ko ta je, duk siblings dinta an kira su bata je ba, aka koma kiran cousins suma babu wani bayani. Farhan kuma ta yi ta kiran friends din su sji kuma Umar ya na kiran nasa dangin amma da yake mai yawo ne baya nuna Jidda yake nema sai dai kawai ya kira a gaisa, knowing in tana can za'a ce masa gata tazo, duk da dai bayan gidan yaya Mubaraka baya jin akwai gidan wanda zata je a cikin yan uwan sa. Amma babu amo babu labari. 

A haka har dare yayi sosai. Lokacin Tahir yazo gidan ai kuwa Abba ya huce haushin sa akansa yayi masa tas yace shi yake ziga Jidda taki zaman aure, daga baya ma yace sai ya fito masa da yarsa, hakan ta sa dole Tahir din ya bar gidan ba tare da ya shirya ba ya fara yawon neman Jidda a duk gidan da yasan suna da alaka kuma zata iya zuwa. Sai dai duk inda yaje babu Jidda babu dalilin ta.

 Dole ya hakura ya koma gidan sa, yana zama ya sake kiran number dinta still bata dauka ba sai ya tura mata message 

"Jidda Call me"

Bayan wani lokaci reply ya shigo masa "I am safe. Ka gaya wa Umma".

Umar bai bar gidan Abba ba sai da Abban da kansa yace masa ya tafi gida ya huta sai da safe tukunna sai su ga abinda zasu yi, in police za'a shigar cikin maganar to, dan shi Abba ya fara tunanin ko sace su akayi tunda kusan duk wanda suka san ta sani sun kira amma basu samu ba. 

Umar ya shiga motar sa ya fara driving da hannu daya daya hannun kuma ya dafe kansa da shi. Bai ma san tunanin da yake yi ba amma shi dai yana da tabbacin babu wanda ya sace Jidda da yayansa, guduwa tayi, saboda shi kadai yasan irin girman laifin da yayi mata kuma shi kadai yasan irin bacin ran da ya gani a tare da ita dan baya jin ko sanda suka yi case din Mammy ranta ya baci irin haka. Guduwa tayi ya sani, so take ta hukunta shi kuma yasan yayi deserving duk hukuncin da zata yi masa koma fiye da haka. Sai dai abinda bata sani ba shine abinda take tunanin ya faru is not entirely true, amma baya jin ko yayi mata bayani zata fahimta tunda shi din tsohon mai laifi ne a gurin ta. 

Gidan su ya nufa, dan baya jin zai iya zuwa gidansa a yau not without her and their kids. Amma sai dai me? 

Yayi horn mai gadi ya bude masa, sai da suka hada ido sannan ya tuna da wata halitta wai ita Asabe, yayi sauri ya dauke idonsa daga cikin na maigadin yana tambayar kansa ko ina yarinyar ta tafi, ko dame dame ta je ta fada? Ko wanne sharrin kuma ta sake yi masa?

Sai dai jin maigadin bai yi masa maganar ta ba yasa ya amsa gaisuwar sa sama sama sannan ya shiga cikin gida.

Mufida kadai ya tarar a falo kwance akan kujera da waya a hannunta tana yi, sai dai tana ganinsa ta yi saurin katse wayar tare da tura ta bayan ta, idan ba rudewar da yake ciki bace tayi deceiving dinsa zai iya cewa har tsorata tayi. 

"Yaya Doctor sannu da zuwa" ta fada tana kallon agogo. Bai amsa mata ba yace "ina Mama? Shiga ki kira ta" sai ya zauna akan kujera tare da dafe kansa da hannu biyu da yake jin yana sara masa kamar zai bar jikinsa. Me Jidda take tunani ne wai? Dan me yasa zata gudu bayan aurensa kaddarar ta ne kamar yadda shima halinsa yake kaddarar sa?

Hannun mutum yaji a kafadar sa, yayi saurin dago kai yaga Mama da Mufida a tsaye a gaban sa, shi bai ma san sanda suka shigo ba. Mama tana yi masa magana amma sai yaji baya jin ta sosai, nesa nesa yake jin muryar ta amma daga dukkan alamu tambayar sa take yi me yake damunsa. 

"Mama Jidda ta tafi, ta dauki Yasmin da Asad ta tafi bansan inda ta tafi ba"

Ta zauna kusa dashi itama nata hankalin ya fara tashi "ban gane ba. Ta tafi kamar yaya? Fada kuka yi? Bata gidan su?" 

Sai kawai ya mayar da idonsa ya rufe sannan ya jingina kansa da jikin kafadar ta yayi shiru, tana jin yadda jikinsa yake hucin zafi, tace da Mufida ta bata aron wayarta da take hannun ta amma maimakon ta bata sai ta wuce daki ta dauko mata tata ta miko mata, Umma ta kira, ita kuma Mufida ta kira number din Jidda sai ta jita a kashe, tace "wayar bata shiga ai"  a hankali yace "ta kashe ai, da wayar tana shiga amma yanzu ta kashe ta"

 Mama ta fara fada "kuma dan kunyi fada sai ta debi yara ta tafi? Tayi ta tafiya mana ai ba ita kadai ce mace a duniya ba amma ta dawo maka da yayanka tunda dai ba dasu aka auro ta ba. Ni ban taba ganin irin wannan rayuwa ba. Ni ban taba ganin mata irin taka ba, mace babu abinda aka rage ta dashi amma ba zata bar mijinta ya huta ba? Jarabar yau da ban ta gobe daban? Ita bata yi kiba ba bata bar ka kayi kiba ba gashi nan duk kayi duhu ka lalace" 

Sai kuma ta dora hannunta a goshinsa tana jin hankalin ta yana kara tashi "innalillahi wa inna ilaihir rajiun. So take ta kashe min kai, abinda take so kenan ka mutu kabar mata duniyar" 

Ya zame daga jikinta ya kwanta akan kujerar yayinda ita kuma ta kira Umma suka fara mayar da abinda ya faru

Jin bata yi masa zancen Asabe ba ya tabbatar masa da cewa yarinyar ba nan gidan ta taho ba. 

Bayan Mama ta gama wayar sai ta saka Mufida ta kira Doctor Bashir tace yazo ya duba Umar bashi da lafiya sannan ita kuma ta kira Baba tana gaya masa abinda yake faruwa. Bata ma tuna da wata Asabe ba ballantana ta nemi inda take tunda matar gidan bata nan. 

Umar bai taba ganin tashin hankali irin na ranar ba kamar yadda bai taba ganin dogo kuma bakin dare irin wannan ba, shi gani ma yayi kamar batteries din jikin duk agogunan gidan duk sun mutu dan gani yayi kamar daren a tsaye yake shak baya tafiya. Kamar yadda bai yi bacci ba haka bai bar mama da Mufida sunyi bacci ba, a daren bayan Bashir yazo ya duba shi sai ya saka Mufida ta rubuta masa list na dukkan kawayen Jidda da ta sani da kuma addreses din su, haka ta zauna ta rubuta masa list, gari yana wayewa ya saka ta fara bin su daya bayan daya tana kira tana tambayar su ko sun ga ko kuma sunyi waya da Jidda, sannan ta roke su da in sun ganta ko sun ji labarin wanda ya ganta su kira ta.

Wadanda kuma bata samu a waya ba sai Umar ya kira Bashir yazo suka fita tare har da Mufida suna bin su zuwa gidajen su. Daya bayan daya. Amma babu wadda  take da labarin Jidda. Basu dawo gida ba sai dare, kowa ya kalli Umar a cikin kwana daya da wuni dayan nan sai ya tausaya masa, gabakidaya ya fita daga hayyacin sa in kana masa magana ma ba ganewa yake yi ba. Dole doctor Bashir ya dawo dashi gida yace ya kwanta amma Umar yaki yarda sai da ya ce masa "in ba ka kwanta nayi maka allura kayi bacci ba, zaka fadi ka mutu, ko sun dawo you won't be there to see them" wannan ya saka shi yadda akayi masa allurar,  Bashir ya rufe shi a tsohon dakinsa dake gidan su tare da cewa 

"Allah na gode maka da baka dora min wannan cutar ba wai ita soyayya"

Bashir da Mufida ne suka karasa zagayen sauran kawayen sannan suka dawo gida. A ranar Baba ya shigo Kano shima cikin tashin hankali da alhinin faruwar wannan abu, ya kuma zarce gidan su Jidda gurin Abba suka yi maganar sosai, sai dai daga shi har Abban basu san takamaiman abinda ya hada Jidda da Umar har yayi tsamari haka ba, a lokacin ne kuma Baba ya nuna wa Abba rashin dacewar kin sauraron korafin ta da tazo gida "da ka tsaya ka saurare ta da bamu kai ga wannan matsayin ba, yanzu rashin sanin halin da suke ciki shine babban tashin hankalin, ga rayuwa yadda ta zama duniya ta cika da marasa imani. Allah dai ya jishe mu alkhairi kawai"

Sai Abba yaji wani abu ya tsaya masa a rai, tabbas da ya tsaya ya saurare ta da ba'a kai ga hakan ba. Yanzu in wani mummunan abin ya same ta ko ya sami yayan da ta tafi dasu fa? Anya kuwa ba za'a raba alhakin har da shi ba a matsayin sa na ubanta. To wai ma menene ya hada ta da mijinta da ta gwammace ta gudu ta shiga duniya akan ta koma gidansa?

 Tambayar da Baba yayi wa Umar kenan yana komawa gida. "Me ya hada ku da har tayi yaji ta tafi gida?" 

Ya shafa kansa, ya shirya wa wannan tambayar tunda yasan dole za'a yi masa ita, in ma kuma ba'a yi masa ita ba Asabe zata bayyana da nata part of the story din, gwara yayi sauri ya shigar da nasa kafin nata. 

Yace "nima Baba takamaimai bansan abinda ya faru ba tunda taki tsayawa tayi min bayani, kawai ta tambaye ni ne wai menene hadi na da wannan yarinyar da Mama ta kai gidan. Na gaya mata babu komai sai ta ki yarda ta kama kuka ta hada kaya ta tafi gida" 

Mama tayi saurin cewa "kaji ko? Na gaya maka matsalar yarinyar nan shegen kishi ne da ita, bata son kowa ya rabe shi idan ba ita ba, dan na kai musu yar aiki wato shine take son ta tsiri maganar da zata saka a dauke yarinyar daga gidan. To Allah ya dawo da ita lafiya daga duk inda taje ma, aure zaka yi, in yaso ta hadiyi zuciya ta mutu dan bakin ciki"

Baba ya girgiza kai "uhm uhm Faruq, in babu rami me ya kawo zancen rami? Kai menene hadin ka da yarinyar" Umar ya girgiza kai kamar zai yi kuka "Baba wallahi babu komai. Yar maigadin gidan nan ce fa. Baba kaga yarinyar kuwa? Ita Jiddan ai ta san ko magana bana yiwa yarinyar ban san me tace mata ba, ban san kuma me yasa ta yarda da abinda tace mata din ba".

Sai a lokacin aka tuna da Asabe, Umar yace shi bai san inda tayi ba shi bai ma lura da ko ta fita daga gidan ko a'a ba, aka tambayi iyayenta suma bata je musu ba.  

Washegari kuma Umar ya nemi sister Aisha, kawar Jidda da suka yi nursing school tare ya nemi data bincika masa kawayen su na nan bangaren ko akwai wanda yaji labarin Jidda. Ranar ita ma kamar wadda ta gabace ta, wuni suka yi suna yawo shi da Bashir, gida gida, loko loko duk inda suka san Jidda ta sani, ciki harda abokan aikin ta, duk wanda suka je kuma sai su nemi ya gaya musu wani ko wata da suka san Jidda tana mu'amala da shi.

Dogon list suka ji suna cancelling duk wanda suka gama dashi sai kuma su kara da wani sunan. Ranar ma da kyar Bashir ya dawo da Umar gida dan yaga alamar zai ce su fara bi gida gida ne, shi kuwa dama already Umar din ya fara bashi haushi, shi bai ga abin tayar da hankali ba, ai tana da hankali kuma ta san me take yi, in ta gaji da gudun ai zata dawo ne dan kanta tunda dai ba zata cigaba da rayuwa da aure a kanta ba.

 But ko da Umar ya kwanta babu bacci a idonsa, sanda baccin ya sace shi kuwa munanan mafarkai yayi tayi da Jidda da yaran su a wani hali marar kyau, dole ya hakura da baccin ya tashi, zai iya bayar da ransa a lokacin in dai zai san halin da suke ciki, in dai zai san suna raye kuma suna cikin koshin lafiya. 

Ya dauko wayarsa yayi ta rubutu yana aikawa number dinta, hoping ko zata kunna wayarta ta karanta ta bashi amsa ko da da alphabet daya ne, ko da da kalma daya marar ma'ana ne, burinsa kawai shine yasan cewa suna lafiya lau. A lokacin ya dauki hoton band din ta da yake hannunsa yayi posting a instagram

"Be safe. Please" 

Ya rubuta, hoping ko zata gani ta tausaya masa ta yi replying messages dinsa. Shi ko da wannan kwana biyun ta barshi tabbas ya wahala, tabbas yaji jiki, amma abinda bai sani ba a lokacin shine wannan kwana biyun wasa farin girki ne.

Haka sati na daya yazo ya wuce, a cikin satin sai da Umar ya dangana da gadon asibiti, duk kuwa wanda ya san Umar inya ganshi sai ya tausaya masa, tabbas babu tashin hankalin da ya wuce ace iyalinka sun bata ba'a san inda suke ba.

Sai dai a karshen satin ne aka kira shi aka sanar da shi cewa an aiko daga sama an karbar bata leave a gurin aiki. Sakon ya kwantar masa da hankali ya fahimci cewa tana lafiya, sai dai kuma ya kara tayar masa da hankalin neman ta. Amma duk yadda yayi kokarin sanin wanda ya aiko aka karbar mata din abin ya gagara, tun daga lokacin ya kullaci one particular person da yaki bashi information din, yana ganin bai kyauta masa ba musamman tunda yasan matarsa ce, kuma ya san nemanta yake yi, amma still yaki gaya masa yace shima nasa aikin is on the line in ya fada.

Tun daga nan sai ya fara zurfafa binciken sa zuwa sama, ya fahimci duk hannun wanda take to yana da say a gwamnati ko kuma yana da kudi, bai kuma san wani wanda Jidda ya sani mai irin wannan matsayin ba, wannan ya sa kishi ya turnike shi babu abinda baya aiyanawa, maybe ma a hanya suka hadu kawai ya ga kyakykyawar mace tana bukatar taimako shine ya dauke ta ya kaita gidan sa. Wannan tunanin kadai ya kusa saka Umar ya hadiyi zuciya ya zama gawa. 

Sai damuwar sa ta tashi daga kan ko suna lafiya ya koma kan abin abinda Jidda take yi a inda take. 

Time went by. Har akayi wata daya da tafiyar su. A lokacin ne yaji Baba yana zancen suna shiryawa da Abba zasu tura Umma da Tahir zuws Ethiopia neman Jidda a can, duk da dai anyi waya da su kuma sunce bata je ba amma hankalin su bai kwanta ba gwara aje a gani. 

Sai dai shi Umar bai damu da maganar ba dan jikin sa baya bashi ta bar kasar, yafi tunanin tana kasar nan kuma tana hannun wani babban mutum, and that's making him as frustrated as frustration goes. 

Kawai kuma sai ga query daga office, wai baya zuwa aiki, shi yanzu ba aiki ne a gabansa ba dan har mantawa yake yi cewa yana da aiki. Amma abinda yafi kona masa rai shine the query was signed by the same person daya hana shi information akan inda Jidda take. 

Sai kawai ya dauki mota yaje asibitin ya je har office din mutumin yayi masa kwararen naushin da suka fitar masa da jini sannan ya shiga motarsa ya dawo gida. Washegari suka aiko masa da takardar kora daga aiki. 

And washegarin ne kuma da daddare yana kwance a dakin da ya mayar nasa a cikin gidan su kira ya shigo wayarsa. 

Ya mike zaune a tsorace yana mayar da numfashi saboda jin kidan da yayi, kidan da ya saka mata ne. Ya dauki wayar da sauri yana kallon screen din "Baby Dove" yaga sunan ta rangadadau a jiki. Cikin karkarwar hannu yayi sliding ya dauka tare da saka wa a kunnen sa, bracing himself for anything, maybe ma ransom za'a nema or worst. 

Amma sai yaji muryar diyarsa, hasken idaniyar sa "Daddy?" 

Ya mike tsaye kamar wanda akayi wa allura 

"Yasmin! Baby girl is this really you? Oh my God!"

"Daddy ka zo ka dauke ni, ni gurinka nake son tahowa bana son gidan nan" ta fada kamar zata yi kuka.

Yaji kamar zuciyar sa zata fito, kalmomin sun makale ma sun ki fitowa 

"A ina kuke? A ina kuke Yasmin ki gaya min yanzu zan zo in taho da ku, are you okay? Ina Asad? Lfy lau kuke?"

Tace "lafiya lau muke Daddy, amma ni da Asad muna kuka kullum, mommy ma tana kuka a toilet, kuma tace ba zamu dawo ba. Shine yanzu ta fita gurin kawarta na dauko wayarta a jaka na kirawo ka kazo ka tafi da mu"

Ya lumshe idonsa ya bude, baya jin akwai wani abu da za'a gaya masa a rayuwa da ya kai wannan dadi, na farko they are okay, na biyu mentioning din kawa da Yasmin tayi ya nuna masa macece ta dauke su ba namiji ba. 

"Ki gaya min a ina kuke, and I will come get you a yau kinji?"

Tace "nima bansan inda muke ba. A wani gida ne kawai" yace "kun hau jirgi da zaku je gidan?" Tace "a'a" yace "mota kuka shiga?" Ta sake cewa "a'a. Adaidaita sahu ne" ya gyada kai, suna cikin garin kano kenan. 

"Kin san sunan unguwar da kuke?" Tace "a'a ban sani ba" yace "ya gidan yake? Yana da girma? Yana da kyau" Tace "eh gidan mai kyau ne daddy har da swimming pool" yace "akwai yara a gidan? Kawar mommy din tanada yaya?" Tace "eh akwai twin babies" ya sake tambaya, the most important question "ya sunan kawar mommy din? Kin sani?" Tace "sunanta Aunty Halima".

Sai kuma yaji tayi kara, sannan yaji muryar da yayi wata guda yana fatan ji, yayi wata guda rabon da yaji, muryar Jidda ta yi wa Yasmin tsawa "Yasmin!" Sai kuma yaji kukan Yasmin tana rokon kar a dake ta, ji yayi kamar zai shiga wayar, amma tunda ba zai iya haka ba sai ya bige da magiyar kar a dakar masa ya, bai sani ba ko ta jishi ko bata ji shi ba, ya dai ji ta kashe wayar. 

Ya zauna akan gadon tare da dafe kansa da hannu biyu, tana can tana dukanta ya sani, Allah sarki innocent babyn girl dinsa. Sai kuma ya kuma mike wa.

"Halima" ya fada. "I am coming for you"

Ga masu son siya zasu iya turo kudin su #300 zuwa wannan account din

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Forgive the typos as always

*wannan littafin na siyarwa ne bisa amana idan baki siya ba kar ki karanta, idan kuma kin siya kar ki sharing, in kika yi kinci amana kuma ke da Allah*


*Asabe 2*


A daren sai na kasa bacci, ina ta tunanin labaran da na samu yanzu daga gurin mijin Diyam, wai da gaske Umma ta tafi garin su? For the first time zata ga tushen ta da yanuwanta wadanda auren Abba ya hana ta haduwa da su? Sannan kuma wai da gaske Umar ya rasa aikin sa? I knew how much his job means to him dan yana enjoying aikinsa sosai amma me ya kai shi zuwa ya kama mutum ya daka? Saboda ya rubuta masa query akan laifin da shi ya aikata? Kamar yadda na riga na sani tun da na taho tabbas nasan zaiyi hauka amma ban dauka haukan har zai kai ga yi masa asarar aikin sa ba.

Sai kuma nayi tsaki, why did I even care ne ma ko ya mutu ko yayi rai duk daya a gurina, wani bangaren ma sai ince dama dai ya mutum, shikenan na huta da alakakai din auren sa kuma maybe his secrets will be buried with him shikenan yayana sun huta da tonon silili. 

Sai kuma nayi lissafin wayar da Yasmin tayi masa, how much did she tell him? How much did she really know? Dole zan gaya wa Diyam mu san yadda zamuyi dan in dai ta gaya masa wani clue mai kyau tabbas a gobe ma zai iya zuwa gidan. Ni kuma yanzu I am not ready to face him, dan ba zance I am not ready to go back to him ba tunda na riga na yanke hukuncin ba zan koma ba kuma I will stand by it.

Da safe na samu Diyam a kitchen din kasa kamar yadda muka saba duk safiya, muka gaisa sai na karbi aikin da take yi na fara tayata sannan na fada mata abinda ya faru jiya tsakanin Yasmin da babanta. Ta tsorata sosai da maganar. "zai iya zuwa gidan nan yau" na fada mata. Ta ajiye abin hannunta "yanzu ya za'a yi kenan? Ko gurin zama zamu chanja miki? Bara in yiwa Sadauki magana in ya yarda sai mu shirya muga inda zaki koma" nayi shiru amma ni a raina bana son komawa ko ina, saboda komawa wani guri zai kara rikita yaran su kasa gane me suke ciki, kuma ba lallai ne mu samu wani gurin da zamu zauna comfortably kamar nan gidan ba. 

And I told her my fear, "ni ba wai ganin nawa ne bana son yayi ba, dan ko zai daure min kafa ta yake ja na a kasa ba zan koma gidan sa ba. Ni baba ne ban yi shirin fuskanta ba" sai ta kara kwantar min da hankali cewa za'a samu mafita.

Har muka yi breakfast ina lura da Yasmin tana ta rakube rakube tana kin hada ido dani, sai kawai naga ta kara kama da babanta musamman in bashi da gaskiya. Gaba na ya fadi na fara addu'a a raina "Allah ka sa anan kawai similarity din nasu ya tsaya, Allah kar ka saka halin su ya zama iri daya kamar yadda kamannin su suke iri daya" 

Sai da muka gama sannan na zaunar da ita nayi mata fada akan daukar min waya da tayi jiya, na kuma yi mata warning sosai akan kar ta sake kwatanta haka in kuma ta kuma yi sai na kaita garin da ba zata sake gani na ba ballantana daddyn nata. Na kuma nuna mata cewa zamu koma gurin daddyn nata watarana, amma ni a matsayin na na babba ni zanyi deciding ranar ba ita ba, ita nata shine tayi duk abinda nace kuma ta ja bakinta tayi shiru.

 Muna cikin maganar ne naga saukowar Diyam daga saman maigidan hannunta daya rike da nasa dayan kuma rike Da da ddd jakar sa ta zuwa gurin aiki, na dauke kaina daga kallon su a zuciyata ina yabawa da matukar dacewa da suka yi da junan su sannan kuma kallo daya zakayi musu ka fahimci soyayya da kwanciyar hankalin da take tsakanin su, na so in tashi in shiga ciki tun kafin su karaso amma kuma sai na ga ya riga ya ganni kuma babu dadi in wuce ba tare da na gaishe shi ba dan haka sai na tsaya har suka karaso sannan na gaishe shi, ya amsa min da sakakkiyar fuska ya kuma tambayeni kwanan yara, har sun wuce sun kai bakin kofar fita sai kuma naga sun tsaya suna magana, ya kalli agogon hannunsa sannan sai ya  juyo ya dawo palon ya zauna akan kujera yana kallona yace "Hauwa'u, Halima ta gaya min cewa jiya Yasmin tayi waya da baban ta ko? And you are concern cewa kar yayi tracing details din data gaya masa yazo gidan nan ko?" Na gyada kai na, kaina a kasa ban ce komai ba sai yace "look at me" na daga ido ina kallon sa sai yace "wannan gidan gida na ne, and no body can come in ba tare da amincewa ta ko ta matata ba I don't care ko ya gane kina cikin gidan nan ko bai gane ba, abinda na sani shine you are your own person, ke ƴa ce ba baiwa ba and you have the right to choose inda kike son zama, you have the right to choose ko kina son zama da shi ko a'a. Daga ni har Diyam ba mun ce miki bane ki rabu dashi ba, muna dai baki shawara ne kawai, zabi will always be yours. But as long as kin shigo gidana da neman taimako kuma ni da matata mun amince zamu taimaka miki, kuma as long as kin zabi zama a gidana then you are under my care and protection and I will protect you, na miki alkawarin ba zai shigo gidan nan ba, idan kuma ya gwada shigowa ta karfi a lokacin ne zai gane duk wadanda yake tabawa a baya mata ne ba maza ba"

Na sunkuyar da idona a kasa, he looked so sure of what he is saying and I can't help but feel safe, bana jin akwai wanda zai kawo masa wargi musamman a cikin gidan sa. 

Bayan ya fita ne Diyam tazo ta zauna a kusa dani "nayi niyyar a chanja miki gida but he insisted shi bai ga amfanin hakan ba, yace it doesn't matter ko ya gane kina nan gidan, zabin ki ne in yazo ki fita ki ganshi ko kuma ki ƙi fita, kamar yadda zabin ki ne ki koma gidan sa ko kuma ki ƙi komawa, kuma kamar yadda ya fada miki yanzu ba wai muna insisting kan cewa lallai sai kin rabu da mijinki ba cos munsan it is not an easy decision musamman tunda kina son sa sosai kuma uban yayanki ne, but believe me, komawa gare shi musamman a yanzu is not a wise decision, in kin koma yanzu to kamar baki fita bane ba ma dan zai tabbatar wa da kansa cewa ba zaki iya rayuwa ba sai da shi, kuma zai cigaba da abinda yake yi  maybe ma har ya koma yi a gaban ki dan ya san ko kin fita zaki dawo, ko zaki koma masa Jidda nafi so ki tabbatar masa first cewa you can live happily with or without him, ki nuna masa kina da choice zaki iya rabuwa da shi ki auri wani namijin kuma ki kasance cikin farin ciki"

"Ba cewa bayi Umar ba zai shiryu ba, a'a shiriya ta ubangiji ce, amma komai a duniya yana da silar sa, komai sai da dalili, ni kuma ina miki fatan ki zama silar shiryuwar sa ko da kuwa rabuwar ce alkhairi a tsakanin ku"

Na gyada kai. "Nagode sosai Halima, babu abinda zan ce muku ke da mijinki sai godiya tare da fatan kuma wasu zasu yi muku irin abinda kuka yi min"

 Tayi murmushi "babu komai. Muma mun gode for trusting us with your life and the life of your kids" sai kuma ta gyara zama "amma akwai wata magana kuma da nayi tunani jiya, maganar Abba nace ba kya ganin ya kamata kiyi contacting dinsa ke da kanki" na bude ido "what? Abba fa? Kin san me zaiyi min in ya kamani kuwa?" Tace "ban san me zaiyi miki ba kema kuma baki sani ba, kuma ba zaki sani ba sai anzo gurin, why not try?" 

Nayi shiru sai ta sake cewa "kinga, a shawara ki rubuta masa message ki tura masa, ki bashi hakuri ki kuma gaya masa cewa kina lafiya, sai kuma kiyi masa bayanin da yaki yarda kiyi masa a lokacin da kika je gida, I am sure zai karanta tunda yanzu neman ki yake yi, sai kuma mu jira muga matakin da zai dauka muna daga nan, matakin da ya dauka shi zaiyi determining abinda zamu yi next. Kin ga idan ma Umar ya gano inda kike ya je ya gaya masa a lokacin ne shima Abba zai dauki matakin da zai dauka. Muma kuma zamu dauki namu matakin. Kin gane?" 

Na gyada kai na kawai amma tsoro ne fal a zuciyata, anya kuwa wannan shawarar ta Diyam mai bullewa ce kuwa? Tun a ranar na fara lissafin abinda ya kamata in rubutawa Abba, that's in zan bi shawarar Diyam kenan. A  karshe sai na yanke shawarar rubuta masa letter, dan nasan karamar waya ce a hannunsa kuma gashi yana fama da matsalar ido dan haka in na rubuta masa dogon text message sai ya samu mai karanta masa ni kuma bana fatan sakon nawa ya shiga kunnen wani kafin shi, musamman Hajiya ko ahalin ta. Amma kuma in na rubuta masa letter ma  zata iya ta fara shiga hannun wani kafin shi. A karshe na yanke shawarar rubuta masa text message din amma kuma kadan ba dogo ba, stating only dalilin da yasa nayi abinda nayi da kuma bashi clue din da zaiyi bincike da kansa.

Da daddare na zauna na rubuta masa message ɗin kamar haka:

"Assalamu alaikum Abba. Farko ina baka hakuri da kuma neman gafarar ka akan bijirewa maganar ka da nayi. Sai dai nayi hakan ne saboda ba zan iya yin abinda kace din ba, ba zan iya cigaba da zama da Umar ba Abba, saboda Umar mazinaci ne wanda kuma yayi nisa a cikin fasikancin sa. Na dade da sanin hakan, na kuma yi dukkan hakurin da ya kamata inyi, akan hakan har cutar hawan jini na hadu da ita, a karshe na yanke shawarar rabuwa da shine saboda fahimta da nayi cigaba da zama dashi zai zamo halaka a gare ni da kuma yayana. Kayi hakuri Abba ka yafe min kuma ka taimaka min dan Allah. In baka yarda da magana ta ba kuma ka bincika da kanka, ka fara binciken ta kan yaya Jamila dan tana daga cikin yammatan da Umar ya lalata, sannan sai ka karasa binciken akan Mammy, na tabbatar amsoshin da zaka samu akan wadannan guda biyun kadai zai tabbatar maka da zurfin da yayi a cikin maganar. Watakila kuma a cikin binciken naka ka samu abin da yafi wannan"

"Ina sake baka hakuri da neman gafarar ka. Muma nan lafiya ni da yara sannan kuma muna nan tahowa gida in muka ji amsa daga gare ka" 


Na karanta message din yafi sau goma, ina ta lissafin ko akwai abinda zan kara ko zan rage akai, sannan ina tunanin lokacin da ya kamata in tura masa da message din yadda zai fi jin dadin karantawa kuma lokacin da zai zama shi kadai babu Hajiya a tare da shi, a karshe sai na yanke shawarar zan tura masa ne bayan sallar asuba kafin gari ya karasa wayewa, dan lokacin mostly shi kadai ne a dakin sa, sai dai fatana shine ya gani kafin Hajiyan ta shiga dan kar ta riga shi gani.

Sai da nayi sallar asuba sannan na kunna wayar na tura masa sakon. A lokacin ne sako ya shigo min daga Umar

"Ki gaya wa Halima kollere da mijinta Aliyu Umar Abatcha cewa suna da bako gobe a gidan su"

Na sauke ajiyar zuciya tare da jingina kaina da jikin wardrobe din da take kusa dani "innalillahi wa inna ilaihir rajiun" 

Na san cewa Umar is stubborn, and I don't want to create trouble for wadannan mutanen da suka taimaka min, what if yaje ya dauko musu police suna zaman zaman su? Yace kidnapping din mu suka yi ni da yara? Musamman kuma tunda masu kudi ne tsaf zai bata musu suna duk da dai ni zan fito in fada cewa ba kidnapping din mu suka yi ba taimakon mu suka yi amma nasan ba kowa ne zai tsaya ya saurari nawa jawabin ba musamman makiyan su zasu fi girmama tasa maganar and sunansu will forever be stained. Ko dai in dauki yarana mu kara gaba ne? Amma kuma ko na tafi din ma dole zai zo gidan tunda ya gane ina gidan idan kuma bai same ni ba it will be more trouble for them. 

But anya kuwa Sadauki yana tsoron trouble??? I don't think so

Ranar ma da safe na gaya wa Diyam labarin sakon da na samu daga Umar, a tsorace na gaya mata amma sai naga tayi dariya ta lakuce min fuska tana cewa "kin ga fuskar ki kuwa? Kamar wadda ta ga fatalwa?" Sai kuma ta daina dariyar ta zama concerned "ko dai akwai abinda ba ki gaya min bane ba? Kodai Umar din nan yana dukan ki ne?" Na yi saurin girgiza kai na "ko kadan, on the contrary ko tsawa ma bana jin ya taba yi min ballantana yayan mu, amma nasan halinsa ne na iya juya magana, bana son ya juya maganar ta zamanto kun shiga matsala, kar yaje ya shigo da police cikin maganar" ta bude ido "police??? Kina ganin zai iya yin haka?" 

Na gyada kai da sauri "sosai ma kuwa, zai iya yin hakan ko ma fiye da haka" ta zauna "ina fatan ba zaiyi hakan ba, dan tabbas in yayi hakan zai fada a ciki" na dago ina kallon ta sai ta girgiza kai "baki san Sadauki ba, ni kaina tsoron sa nake sometimes" sai tayi dariya "I just hope Umar is not as stubborn as you think he is, dan zai iya haka rami kuma ya fada ciki ya kuma binne kansa" sai ta gyara zama "bara in baki labarin Sadauki maybe hirar ta dauke miki hankali daga damuwar ki".

Sai ta bani labarin dagantakar ta da Sadauki tun suna yara, shakuwa da soyayyar da suka yi wa junan su har zuwa rasuwar iyayen su da yadda aka raba su akayi mata auren dole har zuwa rabuwar ta da tsohon mijinta da yadda rabuwar ta kasance , rigingimun da suka yi da Sadauki kafin ta amince ta aure shi da kuma abinda ya biyo bayan auren nasu.

"Kinga yanzu Saghir ya zama tamkar abokin Sadauki, lokuta da dama ma bana sanin sun hadu sai dai in yazo gida ya gaya min sun hadu, komai ya wuce kamar ba'a yi ba sai dai tashin zance" 

Na gyada kai, sai lokacin na gama fahimtar waye Sadauki kuma na tabbatar da cewa idan dai Umar yayi kokarin creating trouble ko yace zai shigo gidan ta karfi ko kuma yace zai involving police to tabbas shine zai kwana a ciki, Allah kada ya san me Sadauki ya riga ya shirya masa musamman tunda ya riga ya san da zuwan na sa. Kuma nasan zai zo din, kuma bai bani kunya ba sai gashi yazo din da azahar, muna zaune muna hira a saman Diyam lokacin kanwar Diyam mai suna Asma'u tazo gidan muna ta hira har na cire fargaba daga raina ina ta dariya tare da su, yara kuma suna kasa suna kallo sai ga waya an kira daga gate, Asma'u ce ta dauka sai kuma ta juyo tana kallon mu tace "wani ne yazo wai, yace Jidda yake nema" Diyam ta kalle ni sannan ta kalli Asma'u tace "bata wayar" Asma'u ta kawo min intercom din, na karba na rike a hannuna ina kallon Diyam sai ta daga kafada tace "kamar yadda Sadauki ya gaya miki, it is your choice, mu dai zamuyi supporting dinki ne akan duk abinda kika zaba sannan mu baki shawara" na hadiye yawu da kar sannan na saka wayar a kunne na nace "hello?" 

Naji muryar wani yace "ranki dade wani ne ya zo yace yana son ganin ki, gashi nan yana jinki" na dan yi gyaran murya nace "ya fadi sunan sa? Ko bashi da suna?" Naji muryar Umar yace "Jidda, kin san waye ai, kina sane ai, please don't do this. I don't know me suke ce miki but I know you and you know me and........" 

Nace "ba ka da suna kenan? Ko duk wannan dogon statement din sunan ka ne? I only asked for your name da kuma dalilin da yasa zan fito in ganka, in baka da amsa just go away please" 

Yayi ajjiyar zuciya "Okay, duk abinda kike so shi za'a yi. Sunana Umar. Kuma zaki fito ki ganni ne saboda ni mijinki ne, and because I love you and you love me too" na rufe ido na na bude nace "wrong answer. In akwai takardar da ka taho da ita ka bawa maigadi ya kawo min, in kuma babu kayi magana zasu sammaka takarda su ara maka pen sai ka rubuta anan ka aiko, or better still, ka tafi kaje ka rubutoka dawo, but without that, you are not seeing me" ina gama fada na ajiye phone din na kalli Diyam and I can see tausayi a fuskarta sai kawai na mike na sauka kasa da sauri na kara volume din tvn da yara suke kallo a falo sannan na shige dakin da aka sauke ni na kwanta a gado.

Jimawa kadan na tashi na tafi window na bude na leka ina kallon compound din gidan, na tabbatar he is going to make a scene a gurin, I stood there for a while sannan na fara ganin movement a bakin gate din, ban hango shi ba cos the gate remained closed but nasan yana other side of the gate, I waited for hayaniyar da nasan zata faru and it did start duk da bana jin abinda suke cewa but na hango securities din gidan duk a bakin gate din suna ta kaiwa da komowa sannan kuma zuwa can naji an tashi mota an ci taya da karfi an bar gate din. Na koma na zauna akan gadon tare da dafe kaina, a raina nasan ba'a gama ba, it has just began.


 *Umar* 

"Halima, I am coming for you" ya fada yana jin ya tsani Halimar nan tun kafin ya ganta, in dai Jidda ta dawo gare shi dole zai yi mata iyaka da wannan Halimar koma wacece ita dan daga dukkan alama she is a poisonous snake da tayi corrupting mind din Jiddan sa har ta iya yin wata guda ba tare da ko muryar ta yaji ba. But he is going to trace her kuma ya karbi matarsa da yayansa.

Ya mike da sauri ya dauki wayarsa ya fita daga dakin sannan ya nufi cikin gidan su da sauri yana kallon agogo, it is past eleven already amma ba zai bari sai safe ba, dan yasan yau ba zai iya yin bacci ba so better yayi channeling energy dinsa zuwa good thing than kwanciya da juyi akan gado. Babu kowa a falon gidan, da alama da yawa mutanen gidan sun kwanta yanzu, dakin Mufida ya tafi ya fara knocking yana kiran sunan ta "Mufida, Mufida" ta bude ta tsaya tana kallon sa da mamaki "an ganta?" Ta tambaya cikin doki "an kusa ganin ta dai" ya fada tare da damkar hannun ta ya jawo ta zuwa falon "ina son ki zauna yanzu kiyi min list din duk halimas din da suke cikin kawayen ku, ko kuma duk wata Halima da kika san Jidda ta sani" ta bude hannu da mamaki "Halima? Ai na baka list din duk kawayen mu, sai dai ko mubi list din mu ware halimas din da suke ciki" 

Ya gyada kai "dauko list din maza ki dawo nan yanzu, ki taho da list din gurin Aisha dana Farhan duk gabakidaya" ta juya zuwa daki sannan ta dauko lists din ta dawo inda yake zaune kan carpet ta bude a gabansa tana hamma, ina ma zai bari sai da safe? Dan ita kam bacci take ji sosai.

Amma bai bari din ba, instead ma sai ya saka ta koma ta kawo masa fresh takarda da biro suka fara circling duk halimar cikin list din suna mayar da ita daya takardar. Sannan kuma sai suka ware duk wadda take cikin kano gefe daya ita ma. Mutum uku ya samu, yayi circling dinsu, noticing their addresses sannan ya dauki takardar ya mike tsaye yana cewa da Mufida. "Gobe zamu fita, gobe zamu samo Jidda" ta mike itama tana kallon sa, "how do you know?" Yayi dan murmushin gefen baki "Allah yana sona. Yasmin ce ta kira ni dazu da wayar Jidda, tace suna gidan wata kawar Jidda mai suna Halima" Mufida ta bude baki cikin mamaki da farin ciki, sai ya dan daki cheek din ta kadan "goodnight sweet sister" daga nan ya fita ya koma dakin da yake zaune yanzu. 

Ya ajiye takardar sai ya koma ya kwanta yana kallon ceiling, remembering the days da yake tare da iyalinsa, remembering yadda kullum da daddare suke cin dinner together sannan suyi wa yaran su wanka tare su kuma kwantar da su tare, sannan su tafi nasu dakin, remembering how kullum shi yake musu addu'ar bacci ya shafa a jikinsa sannan ya shafa mata, yadda mostly in yazo shafa matan yake mintsinin ta a gefen cikin ta, ita kuma tace sai ta rama shi kuma yaki barin ta ta rama din har a karshe su kama kokawa akan gadon, kokawar da most of the times leads to something else, something sweet, something unique. Later kuma sai tayi mitar cewa ya bata mata shimfidar gado tunda shi ya jawo shimfidar ta hargitse, then sai su tashi su gyara gadon tare kowa ya kama side din bedsheet daya su shimfida kowa kuma ya cuccusa side din sa, abinda suke gasa aga wanda zai riga gamawa, price din wanda ya riga gamawa shine pillow din da yafi laushi akan gadon, kusan kullum shi yake rigata gamawa saboda baya tsayawa ya cusa bedsheet din sosai, she will then accuse him of cheating amma sai yaki karbar laifinsa ya dauke pillow mai laushi ya bata mai tauri ita kuma tayi jifa dashi ta kwanta akan kirjinsa, nan ne pillow din ta. 

Ya jawo pillow ya dora a kirjinsa tare da rungume wa da duk karfinsa yana jin kamar zai tsaga kirjinsa ya saka pillown a ciki ko zai cike mass emptiness din da yake ji a cikin zuciyarsa. It has been the toughest month of his life. Kuma cikin wata gudan nan ko kallon mace da sigar sha'awa bai yi ba, abinda ko a mafarki bai taba tunanin zai iya ba amma yanzu gashi involuntarily yayi, there are better things a mind dinsa than sex. Yayi loosing libido dinsa gabakidaya kamar ta hada da shi a cikin kayanta ta tafi dasu, maybe sai ta dawo zata dawo masa da shi, but then it will be only for her. 

Yasan ba zai iya bacci ba, amma sai ya kwanta da pillow rungume a kirjinsa and his eyes closed yana replaying memories din su together, their bedroom memories, and hoping ina ma dai zata zo masa ko da a mafarki ne? That's in yayi baccin kenan.


Washegari da safe ya sanarwa da Baba da kuma Mama abinda ya faru, sun nuna jin dadin su sosai dan yanzu har ita kanta Maman da take jin haushin Jidda ta fara damuwa da rashin ganin nata, yayi ignoring Aunty da take zaune a gurin amma bata ce komai ba, yanajin haushin yadda tunda abin ya faru bata yi masa jaje ba. 

Daga nan ya dauki Mufida suka kuma biya ta gidan Bashir suka dauke shi sannan suka fara zagaya duk gidan jen wadanda suka ware, but har suka gama basu samu wadda suke nema ba, suka zauna a wani restaurant suka ci abinci tare da dauko wadancan tsofaffin lists din suna adding more suspects suma suka sake bibiyarsu amma babu wadda tayi fitting characteristics din da suke nema, babu mai auren mai kudi mai zaune a gida mai kyau kuma at the same time take goyon twins. A karshe suka yanke shawarar su je gidan su Jidda su nemi taimakon Farhan, tafi kowa sanin Jidda tafi kowa sanin kawayen ta tun daga yarinta har zuwa yanzu.

A sitting room suka zauna, Farhan din ta gabatar musu da ruwa da lemo sannan suka sake bitar abinda Yasmin ta fada da kuma guraren da suka je so far.

Umar yace "da akwai something da muke missing, da akwai someone da babu a list din mu" ya kalli Farhan "ta yaya kika hada list din ki?" Tace "na rubuta friends din mu tun na kuruciya, na unguwa na islamiyya da kuma na cikin yan uwan mu" ya juya kan Mufida "ke kuma fa?" Tace "ni nayi using photo album din mu ne da akayi mana sanda zamu yi graduation a secondary school, duk wanda muka yi school tare tana ciki" ya dafe kansa "babu kuma wata Halima wadda ba'a saka a cikin album din ba? Wadda maybe baku gama school tare ba" and he saw some light come into her eyes, sai ta juya tana kallon Farhan wadda itama take kallon ta da budaddun ido, a tare suka fadi sunan da yazo kansu 

"Halima kollere" ya zauna straight da sauri yana kallon su "Diyam" ya fada shi kuma, realising wadda suke nufi.  Sai ya mike tsaye ya fara zagaya gurin yana magana da sauri "how can I even miss this? Tabbas ta na fadar sunan wannan halimar, tace sunyi jss tare sai aka cire ta aka yi mata aure".

Mufida tace "shi yasa ni ban san ta ba saboda sai a ss1 na shiga school din. Kuma har yau ban taba ganin ta ba ina dai ji sukan yi maganar ta da sauran kawayen mu" ya dawo ya zauna a gabanta "yanzu wa zaki nema a cikin kawayen ku wadda tasan wannan Diyam ɗin?" Without thinking twice tace "Ramla. I heard them talking about her ranar da muka yi reunion, ranar da Jidda suka yi fada da Maryam, naji Ramlan tana gayawa Jidda cewa ta hadu da Halima kollere har ta karbi number din ta, amma ta gaya mata zata yi tafiya zata bar kasar zata tafi karatu" 

Umar yayi murmushi "gida mai kyau da swimming pool ya dace da masu zuwa kasar waje karatu" sai Bashir yace "call her Mufida, ki ra mana ita wannan Ramla din ki ji ko tana da labarin Diyam din? Ko ta san ta harfi twins? In ita ce ki nemar mana address din ta a gurin ta" 

Mufida ta dauko wayarta ta nemo number din Ramla sannan ta kira, ba bata lokaci ta daga suka gaisa 

"ya gida? Ya yara da baban yara?"

Tayi dariya "kar ki damu, nan ba da jimawa ba za'a kira ku ku shigar da ni daga ciki" 

Umar yayi tsaki "abinda akace tayi daban abinda take yi daban"

A cigaba da wayar 

"Dan Allah Ramla labari nake nema akan Diyam. Ta dawo Nigeria kuwa?"

"Okay kun hadu wancan watan? Ohh ta haihu kenan. Twins wow. Allah ya raya"

"Dan Allah ko kinsan gidan ta kuwa? Okay yi min kwatancen gidan auntyn tata sai inje in samu address din acan"

"Okay na gane, Nagode"

Sai ta katse wayar tana kallon su da murmushi a fuskar ta. Umar ya mike tsaye tare da daukan wayarsa yace "gotcha. Let's go" 

Babu bata lokaci suka je gidan auntyn Diyam wadda suke kira da Mama kamar yadda Ramla ta kwatanta mata, suka yi packing a kofar gidan sai Umar ya juyo yana kallon Mufida da Farhan yace "ku shiga ciki and pretend ku kawayen Diyam ne da kuka yi taura science tare, kun jima kuna neman ta sai yanzu aka yi muku kwatancen nan gidan aka ce gidan auntyn ta ne, sai ku roke ta ta baku address din Diyam din kuna so ku kai mata surprise visit. Kar ku karbi phone number, address kuke so saboda kuna so ne kuyi surprising din ta. Got it?" Suka gyada kai a tare sannan suka fita.

A cikin gidan suka samu mama, tana zaune tana kallon shirin akushi da rufi a tashar Arewa 24 suka gaishe ta ta amsa cikin rashin fahimta sannan suka yi mata bayani kamar yadda Umar ya koya musu, tayi murmushi "ai kuwa zata ji dadin ganin ku dan duk ta rasa kawayen ta na taura" Mufida tayi murmushi "muma zamu ji dadin ganinta dan rabon mu da ita tun da aka cire ta aka ce anyi mata aure" Mama ta gyada kai tana kara yarda da cewa kawayen Diyam din ne amma kuma duk da haka sai tace "Allah sarki, ai mukan je mata visiting a lokacin da take can, ya ma sunan wannan principal din taku ta lokacin?" Direct Mufida  tace "Hajiya Safiya Muhammad? Ai ta bar taura yanzu, sanda muka yi candy Hajiya Rabi ce PC" Mama ta gyada kai tana kara yarda dasu.

A lokacin wani saurayi ya shigo, su Farhan suka gaishe shi ya zauna yana kallon su da alamar tambaya sai mama ta gaya masa su waye da abinda ya kawo su, sai kuma tace "kun ci sa'a, dama yanzu nake shirin aiken Sadiq ya kai mata sakon daddawa da kuka da kubewar da tace in hada mata, da yake daga ita har mijinta babu abincin da suke kauna irin tuwo, bari in bashi sai ya tafi daku ya kai ku har gidan" 

Suka kalli juna amma sai Farhan tace "ai bamu kadai muka zo ba, akwai driver yana waje. Kuma sai gobe muke son zuwa dan akwai wata da zamu tafi tare da ita" 

Mufida ta gimtse dariyar da tazo mata tana hango reaction din Umar idan yaji an kira shi da driver. Sai wanda aka kira da Sadiq yace "babu komai. Sai a baku address din kawai" Mama ta mike tana cewa "basu to, ni ba iya kwatance nayi ba, bara in dauko maka sakon kayi maza ka kai mata" daga nan ta shiga ciki shi kuma wanda aka ce ya bada address sai ya dauko wayar sa ya mika wa Farhan yana murmushi "a bani number, sai in turo address din dan kar ku manta" ta karba ta saka masa number din ta tana kallon hoton sa da yake kan screen din sannan ta mika masa kan ta a kasa bata son ya fahimci hoton nasa ya tafi da ita. Mama ta fito da leda a hannunta ta bashi su kuma suka yi musu sallama suka fito.

Basu dade da shiga mota ba sakon address din ya shigo cikin wayar Farhan, ba tare da ta karanta ba tayi forwarding zuwa number din Umar, ya karanta a fili, a karshe address din an kara da 

"Save my number please. The name is Sadiq"

 Umar yayi tsaki Bashir kuma yayi dariya. 

Farhan suka fara saukewa, ta fita ta tsaya tana kallon su sai Umar yace "mungode sosai Farhan, I am going to get her back to us" ta girgiza kai, ta jima dama tana son gaya masa magana amma matsayin sa na mijin Jidda yana yi mata shamaki, yanzu ta samu dama, tace "ban shiga maganar na taimaka saboda ina so Jidda ta koma gidan ka ba, na shiga maganar ne saboda ina son Jidda ta dawo gida, zabin komawa gidan ka ko akasin haka nata ne, personally ma ni bana son ta koma din. I know all about you. I know all about halin ka da yasa ta fito, na jima dama kuma ina gaya mata ta fito din" 

Umar yaji wani irin bacin rai, matsayin da take da shi a gurin Jidda ne kadai ya hana shi fitowa ya wanke fuskarta da mari, amma sai Bashir ya zuciyo ya bude kofa zai fito, Umar yayi sauri ya rike hannunsa, Farhan ta juya idonta kansa sannan tace "what? Me zakayi? I know all about you too and I think it is a good riddance for your ex wife da ta rabu da kai"

 Da kyar Umar ya lallashi Bashir ya shiga mota suka bar unguwar, amma suna fita titi yace ya sauke shi ya tafi gida da kansa ba saboda yayi zuciya, shima kuma Umar din ransa ya baci sosai da maganganun Farhan din musamman da ya kasance ta yi su ne a gaban Mufida, ta zubar masa da mutuncinsa a gaban kanwarsa. Sai yaji yana jin haushin Jidda da ta gaya wa Farhan halin da suke ciki, ita ta jawo masa wannan wulakancin, kuma ya tabbatar yanzu ma already ta gayawa that Diyam of a person. 

Sai daya sauke Mufida a gida sannan yayi tracing address din da aka turo masa ya je har kofar gidan da yake tunanin shine inda matarsa da yayansa suke ciki a yanzu, yayi ta tambaya a unguwar yana so ya samu information akan gidan da masu gidan amma bai samu komai ba sai sunan mai gidan "Aliyu Umar Abatcha" sai ya juya ya koma gida tare da yanke shawarar zai dawo washegari, ya rasa dalilin da yasa ya kasa shiga gidan a lokacin duk kuwa da tabbatar wa da yayi cewa nan ne inda rabin rayuwar sa suke ciki. 

Sai da ya koma gida yana wanka sannan ya fuskanci abinda ya hana shi shiga gidan, tsoro yake ji, tsoron haduwa da Jidda yake yi.

Ya tuna maganar da Bashir ya taba gaya masa cewa tsoron Jidda yake ji, yau ya kuma yarda da hakan amma kuma ba wai ita yake tsoro ba a'a maganganun da ya tabbatar zata gaya masa in sun hadu, ya tuna wadda ta gaya masa kafin ta tafi cewa ko akuya aka daurawa zani aka shafa wa jambaki in ya ganta sai ya bita. 

Sannan kuma yana tsoron abinda zai biyo bayan haduwar ta su, yadda zasu kare da iyayen su, dole za'a zauna sharia in ta dawo, me zata gaya musu? Me zai gaya musu? Me zasu yi? Mai zaiyi?

 Wannan yasa ko da gari ya waye din ma bai iya zuwa da sassafe ba duk kuwa da tsananin son ganin iyalin nasa da yake ji, ya dai tura mata sako cewa yana zuwa, amma zuwan is easier said than done. 

Sai da rana tayi sosai sannan yaje. Kamar yadda dama tun jiya ya lura da gidan cewa akwai security, amma shi ba tsoron security din yake yi ba abin da yake tsoro yafi security din ban tsoro. Yayi horn a bakin gate din expecting za'a zo a bude masa gate amma sai yaga mai gadi ya leko yana tambayarshi waye shi kuma wa yake nema? Ya fito daga motar yana jin haushi, ya tsani introducing kansa musamman a gurin wanda yake ganin bai isa ba kamar mai gadi, dan haka yaki yi sai yace matarsa yake nema kuma ya tabbatar tana cikin gidan nan, sunan ta Jidda. Yana jin mai gadin ya kira waya cikin gidan ya sanar da zuwan sa sannan kuma ya miko masa wayar, yaji muryar Jidda sosai, kuma sosai jin muryar tata ya ratsa har zuwa inda bai yi tunanin rashinta ya je ba a jikinsa, yayi kokarin ta saurare shi amma ta ajiye wayar bayan ta gaya masa magana kamar yadda yayi tsammani. 

Wannan ya fusata shi, ya za'a yi shida matarsa da kuma ƴaƴan sa amma wasu banzaye da bai ma san ko su waye ba su saka wani katon gate a tsakanin su? Yayi kokarin yi wa maigadin bayanin cewa matarsa ce fa, amma yaki bude masa yace sai dai idan masu gidan sun ce a bude masa ko kuma ita matar ta sa ta fito ta same shi a waje, amma shi ba zai bude masa gate ba, daga haka ya rufe yar karamar tagar da ya leko yayi masa maganar ta ciki. 

Wannan ya kara sa bata masa rai ya yayi bala'i iyakacin bala'i amma babu ma wanda ya kula shi. Yayi nadamar da bai taho da Bashir ba, amma kuma zuwa da Bashir zai kara dagula tsakanin sa da Jidda ne in ta gansu tare, but ai akwai hukuma, akwai hukumar da zasu saka dole a bude gate din nan kuma a fito masa da matarsa da yayansa. 

Wannan yasa ya juya zuwa nearest police station kuma ya fadi bukatar sa ta a bashi police ga wasu can sun rufe iyalinsa a gida sun ki fito da su sun kuma hana shi shiga gurin su. 

Babu bata lokaci aka bashi police guda biyu ya tafi dasu, suna zuwa gidan suka sake yin horn mai gadi ya sake lekowa ta karamar tagar sa, police din suka je gurin sa suka yi magana, jin babu alamar za'a bude gate din ya saka Umar ya fita dan yaji mai suke cewa "har yanzu ba za'a bude ba? Har yanzu ba za'a bani iyali na ba? Ga police nan ku bude musu su shiga su bincika, suna ciki matata da yayana" 

Aka bude kofa karama sai wadansu securities guda biyu suka fito suka gaisa da police din sannan suka tambaye su abinda suke bukata su kuma suka maimaita abinda Umar ya gaya musu "muna so mu shiga mu duba gidan dan mu tabbatar ba sa ciki din" security din yace "babu damuwa, amma muna bukatar ganin ID cards din ku da kuma search warrant signed by a judge, cewa an baku damar shiga kuyi searching gidan" police din farko suka fara hayaniya, basu da search warrant din kuma suna so su nuna power din su, amma kuma daga jin sunan mai gidan sai Umar yaga jikin su yayi sanyi sun fara shafa kai suna ja da baya


 Umar ya sake zuciya "what? Ba zaku shiga ba? Ba kune hukuma ba" suka fara jan sa gefe "yallabai kayi hakuri, in muka shiga gidan nan mune a ruwa, muje station yanzu ka rubuta statement sai mu aika da maganar sama......" Ya karbe hannunsa da karfi sannan ya juya zuwa motarsa a zuciye ya shiga sannan ya nuna police din da yatsansa "kwa mayar da kanku zuwa inda na dauko ku" sai ya ci taya da karfi ya bar kofar gidan.

Ransa a tsananin bace yake driving, shi ba'a taba wulakanta shi irin yau ba kuma shima ai da gatansa ba wai zauna gari banza bane ba. Zai sake dawowa ne kuma a yau ba gobe ba, amma da shirinsa zai dawo, ya dauko wayarsa ya fara neman number din Baba, tabbas Baba zai san wani wanda yake a sama wanda zai saka lallai a bude wannan katon gate din. Sai dai yana cikin neman number din sai ga kira ya shigo masa daga wanda yake nema. Baba

Ya daga amma kafin yayi magana Baban yace "Faruq kana ina?" Yace "ina hanya Baba, yanzu dama nake neman number din ka zan kiraka" yace "ka taho gida yanzu, ina son ganin ka. Ka same ni a falo na. Akwai maganar da zamu yi" 

Kafin Umar ya amsa Baban ya katse wayar, sai kuma ya tsaya yana kallon wayar haka kawai yake jin babu dadi, kamar akwai wani abu a muryar Baba. Sai yaji jikinsa yayi sanyi, ya rasa tunanin ma da zaiyi, a haka ya karasa gida yayi packing sannan ya zarce falon Baba kamar yadda Baban ya bukata.

Sai dai me???????

Yana shiga ya tarar ba shi kadai bane ba, akwai Mama a gefensa, sannan  a kasa kuma akwai Malam Adamu mai gadi, sai kuma wata mata da wata tsohuwa da bai sani ba, a can gefe kuma rakube a jikin kujera, Asabe.

Yaji kamar ya koma da baya a guje, amma kuma kafafuwan sa sai suka kasa cooperating, ya tsaya hannun sa rike da labule yana sake bin mutanen gurin da kallo kamar yadda suma duk suke kallon sa. 

Baba ne yayi magana, muryar sa heavy with emotions "shigo. Zo ka zauna ko dodanni ka gani?" Ya jawo kafa kamar mai shanyayyen jiki sannan yazo nesa kadan da baban ya zauna   a kasa, kansa a kasa, kwakwalwar sa a toshe. For the first time in his life, magana ta dauke daga bakinsa.

"Umar" Baba ya kira sunansa, ya dago kai yana kallon sa "na'am Baba" ya amsa da bushashshiyar murya "menene hadin ka da waccan yarinyar" Baba ya tambaya yana nuna Asabe. 

Umar bai kalle ta ba sai ya kuma sunkuyar da kansa sannan yace "mai aikin Jidda ce" 

Baba yace "ba cewa nayi menene tsakanin ta da matar ka ba, cewa nayi menene tsakanin ka da ita" 

Ya danyi shiru sannan yace "ni babu komai tsakanin mu Baba"

Mama tace "kaji ba, ai dama na gaya maka, ya riga ya gaya mana tun farko cewa babu komai tsakanin su, ita yarinyar ce tayi masa karya, karyar da har ta jawo rigima tsakanin sa da iyalin sa"

Baba ya daga mata hannu "ba ke na tambaya ba please. Daga dukky alama idanunki sun rufewar da har ba kya ganin gaban ki. Yaron nan tun da ya shigo gurin nan na ga rashin gaskiya a lullube da shi, amma ke ba ki gani ba" 

Umar yayi saurin dago kansa yana kallon Baba, babu abinda yake fada a zuciyarsa sai "Inna lillahi wa inna ilaihir rajiun" 

"Baba rashin gaskiya kuma. Baba wallahi........." 

Baba ya daga masa hannu "banason ji" sai kuma ya nuna Asabe "sake fadar abinda kika gaya mana kafin ya shigo" 

Tayi shiru bata ce komai ba sai tsohuwar da suka zo tare wadda daga dukkan alamu kakarta ce tace "kiyi magana mana, ki fadi duk abinda ya faru kar kiji tsoronsa babu abinda zai iya yi miki"

Tace "shine......shine.....shine....ranar nan...... mommy bata nan, sai yazo dakina  ina bacci ya danne ni kuma yace in na gaya wa mommy abinda ya faru sai ya kashe ni in kuma ban gaya mata ba zai aure ni" 

Umar ya dafe kansa da hannu daya, tun da yake a rayuwar sa ta duniya bai taba jin kunya irin wadda yake ji yanzu ba, a gaban Mama da Baba? Wannan yarinyar take cewa wai ya danne ta????

Baba yace "kaji abinda tace, ka aikata ko baka aikata ba. Yes or no?" 

Ya kasa dago idonsa, Muryar sa tana rawa rawar da taba taba yin irin taba yace "Baba wallahi, wallahi karya take yi, wallahi banyi abinda take nufin nayi ba, in baku yarda ba a kawo min Alqur'ani zan dafa akan hakan" 

Asabe tayi saurin cewa "zaka dafa Alqur'ani a kan cewa baka shiga dakina ka danne ni ba?" 

Ya dago kai yana mata wani mugun kallo, wannan kalma ta dannewa tana kona masa rai, "wallahi kika sake fadar kalmar nan sai na lahira ya fiki jin dadi" Baba ya daka masa tsawa "kai Faruq! Ka ga alamar wasa a idona? Ba zaka bani amsa ba? Ka shiga dakinta sanda matarka bata nan ka neme ta? Sannan kace zaka kashe ta in ta fada in kuma bata fada ba zaka aure ta? Yes or no? Kalma daya nake so in ka kara wata akai kuma wallahi sai na lahira ya fika jin dadi" 

Ya koma ya zauna dabas a kasa, yana jin zuciyarsa tana kuna fiye da tunanin sa, wannan wacce irin sarkakiya ce ya fada ciki? 

Baba ya mike tsaye, jikin sa har rawa yake saboda bacin rai sannan ya sake tambaya cikin tsawa "yes or no!?" Umar ya rufe fuskar sa da hannayensa biyu sannan a hankali ya gyada kansa.


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*wannan littafin na siyarwa ne bisa amana, in baki siya ba kar ki karanta, idan kuma kin siya kar kiyi sharing in kika yi kin ci amana kuma ke da Allah*

*Fatherhood*

"ka bude baki kayi magana!" Baba ta sake fada cikin tsawa "ka shiga dakin yarinyar nan ka neme ta ko baka shiga ba?" 
Umar ya bude fuskarsa, fuskar tayi jajur kamar an shafa masa jambaki a fuskar sannan a hankali yace "eh"

Baba ya koma ya zauna tare da dafe kansa "Inna lillahi wa inna ilaihir rajiun" Mama ta sauko daga kan kujerar ta dafa Umar hankalin ta a tsananin tashe "Alhaji, dan Allah kayi hakuri"
Tsohuwar da suka zo tare da Asabe tace "alhamdulillah, tunda gaskiya ta fito daga bakinsa, kafa da kafa aka roke mu mu bayar da yarinyar nan, tana cikin rufin asirin ta cikin yanuwanta muka dauko ta muka baku dan muna ganin mutuncin ku amma ga sakayyar da muka samu nan, an lalata mana yarinya sannan aka lakada mata duka aka kuma kore ta, har da bata tsoro dan kar ta fada, so yayi ya mayar da ita kamar matarsa kullum in matar bata nan yake biyan mummunar bukatar sa da ita" 

Umar ya kama hannun Mama da zazzafan hannunsa, yana jin kamar ya tashi yayi ta ball da tsohuwar can da taki yin shiru ta bar shi da abinda yake damunsa. "Mama. Wallahi banyi abinda suke nufi ba. Na shiga dakinta "eh" na....na......na.....na gaya mata abinda tace na fada "eh" amma wallahi Baba" ya dago kai yana kallon Baba da har yanzu yake zaune hannunsa a dafe da kansa, "wallahi Baba........" Amma sai ya kasa cigaba da maganar, wai ma ta yaya zaiyi musu wannan bayanin ne, how do you explain going all the way and not reaching there?

Baba ya karasa masa maganar cikin sigar tambaya "amma baka neme ta ba?" Yayi shiru, nema is not the exact word da zaiyi rantsuwa akai, shi kuma yanzu he is willing to dafa Alqur'ani dan nuna gaskiyar sa. Amma ta yaya zai yi bayanin gaskiyar ta sa?

Tsohuwar ta sake cewa "ya neme ta mana Alhaji? Ba kaji ya fada ba yanzu da bakin sa amma kuma zaku sake dawo da yambayar dan a bashi damar chanja magana? Mu dai adalci muka zo ayi mana, yanzu yadda ya lalata mana yarinyar nan, dan ni bana jin ma sau daya ne ya neme ta, yanzu wa zamu aura mata kenan? Wannan abin kunya da me yayi kama?" Ta karasa tana sharar kwalla. 

Umar yayi sauri sake kallon Baba, yana jin wani irin faduwar gaba, ba dai auren yarinyar suke so su lika masa ba? Ya saki hannun Mama ya dafa kafar Baba "Baba wallahi" Baba ya janye kafarsa da sauri tare da cewa "wallahi me? Me kake ta rantse rantse akai ne? Umar ka bani kunya wallahi, ko da wasa ban taba tsammanin wannan halayyar daga gare ka ba, ka tozartani yadda ba'a taba tozartani ba a duniya, ka kunyata ni irin yadda ba'a taba kunyata ni ba a duniya. Menene yayi saura? Dalilin da yasa matarka ta bar ka kenan ashe, wannan muguwar maganar taji, abinda taji ka aikata kenan a cikin gidan auren ku. Me yasa ba zata bar ka ba? Ko mu ba dan mu muka haife ka ba ai da cewa zamuyi babu mu babu kai............" Mama da take durkushe itama kusa da danta tace "dan Allah kayi hakuri Alhaji, ka tsaya ka saurare shi da akwai magana a bakin sa, ka barshi ya fada dan muji gaskiya" Baba ya sake cewa "to me zai fada ne bayan wanda ya riga ya amsa? Menene zaiyi kuma bayan wanda ya riga yayi?" 

Tsohuwar tace "babu, abinda ya rage shine tunda ya karbi laifinsa sai kuma ya karasa aikin da ya fara, sai ya aure ta, tunda dai ya riga ya fara morar auren tun kafin a daura" 

Umar ya bude ido da sauri ya juya yana kallon ta sannan ya sake juyowa ya kalli Baba wanda shima yake kallon tsohuwar yana gyada kai "tabbas wannan shine abinda ya dace ayi dan ayiwa yarinyar nan adalci. Dole shi zai aure ta!" 

Umar yaji kafafuwan sa sunyi collapsing ya zauna dabas a kasa daga tsugunnon da yake yi, ido kamar zai fado a kasa. "Baba!" Ya fada cikin rudewa "Mama kar kuyi min haka dan Allah. Baba wallahi ban aikata laifin nan ba" Baba yace "kuma dai? Ji nake yanzu ka amsa kayi, yanzu kuma sai ka dawo ka ce ba kayi ba kuma duk a gaban shaidu daya? Me kake nufi ne? Akwai maganar da kake so ka fada me ko kuma kana so ka mayar da mu shashashai?" 

Umar ya goge gumin fuskarsa da hannun sa idonsa a kasa yace "Baba na shiga dakinta, kuma na neme ta, amma.... amma... amma...ban shige ta ba" ya karasa maganar tare da kifa kansa akan kafadar Mama yana jin tamkar kasa ta tsage ya shige ciki. 

Duk suka yi shiru first, sannan kuma Mama tayi magana "alhamdulillah, alhamdulillah, Allah mun gode maka, Allah mun gode maka daka bayyana gaskiya ka kuma rufa mana asiri. Alhaji kaji ko? Ka fahimci abinda yake cewa? Addu'ar mu a gare shi da tarbiyyan da muka bashi su suka kasance tare da shi suka hana shi aikata abinda ake cewa ya aikata"

Tsohuwar tace "karya yake yi, wannan daga ganin sa dama zubin makaryata ne da shi" Mama ta mike a fusace, girman shekarun matar ne kawai ya hana ta ta kwada mata mari "amma dai ke kam baki da ta ido, yanzu kina kallon yadda ubansa yake ta kokarin ganin an gano gaskiyar maganar nan duk da kasancewar sa dansa, yana so lallai yayi adalci akan maganar nan amma hakan ba zai hana ki jifan dansa da munanan maganganu ba? Ji nake an ce ko mutuwa ma ai tana jin kunyar idon mahaifi, kuma ina tabbatar miki da cewa zaki ji kunya idan gaskiya ta bayyana, zaki gane cewa yaron mu mun bashi tarbiyya jikar ki ce dai lalatacciya" itama kakar ta yunkuro "lalatacciya ai bata lalata kanta sai dai a lalata ta, ku dubi wannan yaron ku dubi wannan yarinyar ku fadi tsakani da Allah cikin su waye zai lalata wani? In dai har ana son gaskiya. Kuma na shiga ban dauka ba ai bata fidda barawo, in dai har ya amsa ya neme ta kuma karya yake yi ya dawo yace ga kuma wata magana ta daban" 

Baba da tun dazu yake zaune ya dafe kansa ya mike yace "akwai yadda za'a gane ai, ana dubawa a asibiti za'a kai ta a duba ta" ya juyo yana kallon Umar yace "in dai aka samu cewa ita ce da gaskiya to ka tabbatar cewa zaka aure ta" Umar ya zaro ido "Baba ba za'a fahimci gaskiya ba a asibiti, ba za'a iya fadar wanda yayi ba. Za'a iya dora min laifin wani" Mama ta dora da cewa "musamman tunda yarinyar talla take yi kafin in karbo ta"

Baba ya kalle ta sannan ya kalli Umar yace "kamar yadda ta fada, na shiga ban dauka ba bata fidda barawo, dalilin da yasa ya shiga dakinta har kuma ya neme ta, sannan yayi threatening din ta, shine dalilin da zai saka ya cika alkawarin da ya daukar mata" daga nan ya juya ya shigewar sa daki. Yana shiga Umar ya mike da sauri ya fita daga falon ko ganin gaban sa baya yi sosai saboda yadda tashin hankali da bacin rai suka rufe masa ido. 

Dakin da yake yanzu a matsayin nasa tun da ya tattaro kayan sa daga gidan sa bayan tafiyar Jidda nan ya shiga ya rufe kofa sannan ya jingina da jikin kofar ya rufe idonsa, a hankali kuma sai ya zame ya zauna a gurin tare da dafe kansa.

Tun da yake a duniya bai taba ganin tashin hankali irin na yau ba, bai taba jin kunya irin ta yau ba. Wai wannan yarinyar ta ringa fadar wai ya danne ta a gaban Baba da Mama? Wannan tsohuwar kuma, Allah da zai kamata sai ya karasa fitar da sauran hakoran da suka yi saura a bakinta. 

Ya tuno maganar Baba wai zai aura masa Asabe, how? Ta yaya ma za'a aura masa Asabe? Shi kam ko sau dari za'a daura aurensa da ita to kuwa tabbas zai sake ta sau dari sai dai Baba ya saka kansa gabas ya yanka shi. Da ace ma yayi ne, da ace yayi da zai iya karbar laifinsa ya aure ta tunda yayi amma damn it bai yi ba kuma ba zai taba yarda ya amsa cewa yayi ba. Baya kuma raba dayan biyu in aka duba ta za'a same ta a bude amma ba shi bane ba, dan sanda ya neme tan ma bata yi resisting ba shi da kansa ya ce ya fasa kuma sai ta nuna rashin jin dadin fasawar ta sa, amma babu wanda zai yarda in dai ba ita ta fito ta fada da bakinta ba, especially Jidda ba zata taba yarda cewa baiyi ba.

And yasan wannan is just the beginning of his nightmare dan yanzu ne ma yake kara jin tsoron dawowar Jidda musamman yadda tayi masa magana dazu with so much bitterness, ya tabbatar in ta dawo zata juye duk abinda yake zuciyar ta ne a gaban Baba shi kuma Baban zai yarda da ita without a second thought tunda already wannan tsinanniyar yarinyar ta riga an dasa masa wannan tunanin a zuciyarsa. Sai ya fara jin haushin kansa, ya kaiwa iska naushi, damn it, menene ma ya saka shi ya bar Jidda ta fita daga gidan sa ranar nan? Me yasa bai rufe kofa ba ko kuma yayi mata allurar bacci irin ta ranar nan har sai zuciyarta ta warke sannan ya zaunar da ita yayi mata bayanin gaskiyar abinda ya faru kuma ya matsawa yarinyar ita ma ta fadi gaskiya, ranta zai baci sosai ya sani, zata yi fushi for sometimes kuma ta watakila ta kori yarinyar but that will be all, a hankali kuma komai zai wuce su cigaba da rayuwar su kamar babu abinda ya faru, yes she always forgives because she have a big heart. 

Amma yanzu kam komai ya chakude. Ya dauka tana missing dinsa kamar yadda yake tsananin missing dinta, but bai ji hakan ba ko da a muryarta ne kuma bai ga alamar hakan ba dan da tana missing dinsa zata fito dazu ta ganshi, in yaso ko fada ne suyi, ko maganganu ne ta gaya masa, at least dai ta kula shi, at least ta ganshi shima kuma ya ganta.

Ya saka dan yatsa ya shafa band din ta na hannun sa, ya tuno sanda take masa mitar ya kamata ya yar da shi haka dan ya tsufa shi kuma yace ba zai yar ba sai ta sake masa wani, ta kuma yi alkawarin zata yi masa wanin "da kaina zan hada maka, irin na zamani ma mai kyawun da zai dace da kyakykyawan mijina" 

Yayi murmushi yana jin tsananin kewarta irin wadda bai taba ji ba, he needs her now more than ever, ya san kuma chance dinsa daya shine ya samu ya riga kowa a family ganinta, yayi mata bayanin situation din da yake ciki tare da rokon ta da kar ta karasa datse yar guntuwar yardar da take tsakanin sa da iyayensa, but ta yaya zaiyi achieving hakan with that closed gate in between them?

Karar wayarsa ce ta dawo dashi daga tunanin sa, ya zaro ta daga aljihunsa sannan ya rintse idonsa saboda sunan Mama da ya gani a jikin wayar, sai da ta kusa katsewa sannan ya dauka amma kafin yayi magana sai tace "kazo ka same ni a dakin babanka" daga haka ta kashe. 

Ya mike tsaye yana tunanin dalilin kiran, shin zasu ce masa "ka bamu kunya Umar bamu yi tsammanin haka daga gare ka ba" ko kuma zasu cigaba ne dayi masa maganar auren Asabe? Ya cire rigar jikinsa da ta jike da gumi sannan ya saka wata a ransa yana tunanin ranar da Jidda ta siya masa rigar "zata yi maka kyau sosai". 

Da sauri ya fita ya doshi palon da ya baro dazu, amma yana shiga sai ya tarar babu kowa a ciki sai Mama ita kadai a zaune a inda ya bar ta, babu Asabe babu iyayen ta balle kakarta, kp sun tafi asibitin ne?

Kafin ya zauna ko kuma yayi wata magana sai ta mike da sauri ta kama hannunsa ta jashi zuwa bedroom din Baba suna zuwa suka tarar dashi zaune akan gado hannun sa biyu dafe 
da kansa, Umar ya durkusa a gaban sa idonsa a kasa, Mama kuma ta zauna a kusa da shi. 

"Alhaji, dan Allah ka zauna ka saurari yaron nan, kar ka yanke masa hukumcin laifin da baiyi ba, nasan ka fahimci abinda ya faru ba sai an sake maimaita wa ba ni kuma nasan duk duniya a yanzu babu wanda yafi karfin kaddara da sharrin shaidan, babu yadda banyi da matarsa akan ta hakura da aikin ta ta zauna a gidan ta ta kula da mijinta tunda babu abinda ya rage ta dashi amma taki, ta gwammace ta fita ta bar mijinta da yar aiki a gida, babu wanda yafi karfin shaidan, even the most purest of hearts....." 

Ya dakatar da ita "Hajiya Maryam, idan komai zamu ringa jingina shi zuwa ga kaddara kuma komai zamu ke dangantaka shi da laifin shaidan then me yasa akayi wuta kuma akayi aljanna? Mr yasa ranar alkiyama za'a ware yan wuta a kuma ware yan aljanna? Me yasa ba za'a bar shaidan shi kadai ya shiga wuta ba tunda komai laifinsa ne ba namu bane ba?" Ya juya yana kallon Umar yace "shi shaidan ai yana shiga ziciyar wanda ya bar masa gurbin da zai zauna a ciki bai cika zuciyar tasa da abubuwa masu muhimmanci ba, kamar soyayya Allah da Manzonsa, kamar yawan ibadu da aiyuka masu kyau, kamar tunane tunane masu ma'ana ba gurbatattu ba. Amma in dai mutum ya kusanci sabo, in dai mutum ya saka a ransa yana son aikata sabo, to tamkar ya aikawa da shaidan katin gayyata ne zuwa zuciyarsa"

"Na shiga ban dauka ba bata fidda barawo Umar, shiga dakinta kawai da kayi da kuma maganganun da ka gaya mata kawai sun daure ka da jijiyoyin jikinka. Gaskiyar Abinda ya faru a dakin mu bamu sani ba ku kadai kuka sani sai kuma Allahn daya halicce ku.shi yasa Allah ya ce mana kar mu kusanci zina, dan kusantar tata shine yake jawo yin nata. Yanzu kuwa in dai binciken abinda muka tura ayi bincike akansa ya bamu amsar da ba ita muke so ba, ko kai kayi ko ba kai kayi ba zaka aureta tunda kayi mata alkawari nima kuma yanzu na fada a gaban iyayenta" Umar yayi sauri ya dago kai yana kallon sa, zai fara magiya, sai ya juya kansa gefe yace "Amma abinda nake so in tambayeka yanzu shine, sanda ta gaya wa matarka, har matarka ta tuhumeka da maganar, ka fada mata abinda ka gaya mana yanzu? Cewa ba ka yi ba?"

Umar da hankalin sa gabaki daya ya tafi kan maganar auren Asabe, yace "nayi kokarin gaya mata Baba, amma bata saurareni ba, kuma ko na gaya matan ma ba lallai ne ta yarda ba" Baba yace "saboda me?" Umar ya dago yana kallon sa bai ce komai ba, Baba ya sake cewa "Saboda menene ba zata yarda ba? Matarka tana sonka duk mun sani, kuma kai uban ƴaƴan ta ne, kuma babu wanda zai rufa maka asiri duk duniya bayan mu sama da ita, amma me yasa kace ko ka gaya mata ba zata yarda ba?" Umar ya sake yin shiru bai bayar da amsa ba, yana sauraren yadda zuciyarsa take lugude a kirjinsa. Baba ya sake tambaya 

"ko kun taba samun matsala ne mai kama da wannan?" 

Umar yayi sauri ya dago kai amma bai ce komai ba. Mama tace "Baban Faruq ya kuma zaka ke neman wani laifin daban bayan ga wanda yake gaban mu?" Sai ya juyo yana kallon ta sannan yace "Hajiya Maryam, tashi ki fita" tayi shiru fuskarta na nuna rashin jin dadin abinda yayi mata sai ya sake cewa "ki tashi ki fita nace, inaso zanyi magana da ɗa na" sai ta mike kamar wadda kwai ya fashewa a ciki, ta dan kalli Umar kadan sannan ta fita tana jan kafa.

Baba ya dawo da hankalin sa kan Umar yace "ina jin ka, akwai wani abu daya kamata in sani? Akwai wata matsalar da kuka taba samu da matarka irin wannan? And be very careful when answering me, idan kayi min karya kuma na bincika na fahimci gaskiya hukuncin da zan yanke akan ka sai yafi wanda zanyi maka idan naji gaskiya daga bakin ka"

Umar ya rufe idonsa ya bude, sannan ya saka yatsansa yana shafar sunan Jidda da yake hannunsa, a ransa yana tunanin me yasa ya iya gaya wa Jidda? Me yasa duk laifin da yayi yake amsawa Jidda? Me yasa ya iya gaya mata har wadanda bata sani ba duk kuwa da yasan ranta sai yafi na kowa baci akan maganar a matsayin ta na matarsa, me yasa yake iya zubar da hawaye a gabanta amma yanzu ya kasa yi a bayan idonta ballantana yaji sanyin suyar da zuciyarsa take yi a cikin kirjinsa. 

"Ina jin ka" Baba ya sake magana "akwai wata matsala da kuka samun da ita kafin wannan wadda take kama da wannan? Wadda har ta saka ba zata yarda da kai ba ko da kayi mata bayani?" 

Umar ya sunkuyar da kansa kasa yana lissafo cases din da sukayi ta samu da Jidda, wacce zai fada wacce zai bari? Anya ma kuwa zai iya fadar? 

Tabbas akwai abubuwa da dama na miji wanda matarsa ce kadai ta sani, akwai maganganu da dama wa'danda miji zai iya gayawa matarsa amma ko uwar da ta haife shi ba zai iya gaya wa ba balle uba. Anya zai iya? Babu abinda yake so a lokacin irin Jidda's touch, ina ma dai tana kusa da shi ta rike hannunsa ta rada masa cewa "you can do it" amma yasan ba zai samu ba hakan ba dan haka sai ya hada hannayensa guri daya ya rike su together sannan ya gaya wa kansa a hankali "you can do it".

Baba yace "me kace? Ka daga murya kayi min magana, akwai wata maganar kafin wannan?" 

Ya dago kai "eh akwai Baba" sannan ya mayar da kansa kasa, bayajin zai iya kara wata kalma bayan wannan, yaji Baba ya ja doguwar ajjiyar zuciya tare da ambaton "innalillahi wa inna ilaihir rajiun" sai Umar ya runtse idonsa as he felt his heart breaking into thousand pieces.

 Shima kenan, shi kuma Baban fa mai yaji? 

Sun jima a haka sannan Baba yayi magana ba tare da ya kalle shi ba "tashi ka fita daga gabana. Bana son ganinka a kusa da ni" 

Umar ya mike da sauri har ƙafarsa tana hardewa kamar zai fadi ya fita daga dakin tare da jan kofa ya rufe sannan ya rufe idonsa ya jingina kansa da jikin kofar. Muryar Mama yaji a bayan sa "ya kuka yi? Ya fasa hada auren ko?" Ta fada muryar ta dauke da tashin hankalin yanayin da taga dan lelen nata a ciki. Umar yaji tayi mishi fami a ciwon da yake cikin zuciyarsa, shi har ya manta ma da wani batun aure da Asabe, matsalolin sa kamar kara gaba suke with each second. Wannan wacce irin rana ce? Ya juyo amma sai ya kasa hada ido da ita yace "nima ban sani ba Mama" sai kuma ya fice daga falon da sauri kamar yadda ya shigo da sauri.

Motarsa ya nufa yayi mata key sannan ya fice daga gidan, a ransa yana lissafin abinda zaiyi, anya kuwa shima ba zai bi irin hanyar da Jidda ta dauka ba? Anya ba zai hada kayansa shima ya gudu a neme shi a rasa ba, ya ga guduwar is kind of working out for her tunda gashi nan maganganu suna fitowa tun kafin ta yi magana. 

Gidan sa ya tafi, gidan su shi da Jidda. Ya shiga falo ya kwanta akan kujera ba tare daya damu da kurar da kujerar tayi ba, sannan ya fara bin falon da kallo yana tuno memories din yayansa yadda suke hargitsa falon ita kuma uwar tana yi musu fadan sun bata mata guri, Jidda akwai tsafta, tun daga jikinta har gidanta har yayanta har shi kansa mijinta kullum sai ta gyara su fes, kuma tsaftar yana tunanin har zuciyarta haka take.

 Ya tuna da yadda shari'ar dazu ta kasance, yadda gashi yana da gaskiya amma bashi da yadda zaiyi yayi bayanin da za'a yarda da shi kuma ya tabbatar ya fada cikin ramin da bashi da kalaman da zasu fito da shi daga ciki, and that hurts a lot, wai dana haka Jidda taji a lokacin da take da gaskiya a gaban Aunty Afia amma ya juya magana ya goge evidence dole aka ba shi gaskiya ita kuma aka dora mata laifi? Haka taji wai a gaban Mama sanda ta kai maganar sa kuma ita ce mai gaskiya amma ya juya maganar ta koma ita ce mai laifi shine mai gaskiya? Shi duk a lokacin a nasa tunanin gani yake yi it won't hurt her that much tunda abin zai wuce and it will cover his dignity, wanda bayan family dinsa shine babban abinda ya damu da shi. 

Sai ya dauko wayarsa a aljihun sa ya shiga messages ya nemo number din ta sannan ya tura mata sako kamar haka

"Am sorry Jidda. Am sorry for deleting those pictures daga wayar ki, and for saying the things I said about you to Aunty Afia and to Mama. I am sorry"

Ya tura mata sannan ya dora wayar a kirjinsa yana jin kalmar sorry din tana amsawa a zuciyarsa saboda daga can ta fito. 

Ya jima a haka sannan yaji kiraye kirayen sallar laasar, sai ya tuna da maganar da Baba ya fada dazu cewa in ba'a cika zuciya da ibada da ayyukan alkhairi ba shine shaidan yake samun gurin zama a cikin ta, gashi shi ko azahar ma baiyi ba. Ya mike ya shiga cikin dakinsa ya zarce toilet yayi alwala sannan ya fito ya kuma daukan wayarsa da key din motarsa ya fita, a masallaci ya tsaya yayi sallar azahar sannan akayi laasar tare da shi. 

Daga nan motarsa ya koma yana lissafin abubuwan da ya rasa so far, his job and his dignity, ga kuma auren da ake neman kakaba masa, menene kuma next?.

Ya girgiza kansa da sauri a hankali yace "not my family, no!" Sai ya juya motar zuwa hanyar gidan da Jidda take. At least zuwa kofar gidan will make him feel closer to her ko da kuwa bai samu ganin ta ko yayan su ba. A kofar gidan yayi packing yana kallon gidan, yana kallon windows din sama yana aiyanawa ko akwai wadda take a dakin da Jidda take zaune a yanzu? Ko zata ji a jikinta yana gurin ta leko ya ganta ko da na second daya ne? 

Bai jima da tsayawa ba aka bude kofa aka fito, one of the security guards din da suka yi rigima da su dazu, dazu ne abin ya faru but it feels like an jima da yin abin saboda yawan abubuwan da suka faru after it. Ya zo gaban motar tare da yi masa knocking a jikin glass, ya sauke yana kallon sa sai yace "da Allah malam ka dan ja motar ka gefe, ba'a packing anan, kofar gidan mutane ce" Umar ya dauke idonsa daga kansa, in normal days zai fito ne suyi rigima but today, now, rigima is the last thing a mind dinsa dan haka sai ya saka motar a giya ya kara gaba kamar yadda security din ya fada. 

Ya jingina kansa da kujerar motar ya rufe idonsa. Bai jima ba wata mota tazo gate din ya ga an bude mata da gudu ta shiga, hakan ya tabbatar masa da cewa mai gidan ne ya dawo amma sai yaji baya jin haushin sa yanzu kamar yadda yake ji dazu, ko babu komai he took his family in and put a roof over their heads and food in their bellies.

Sai da aka fara kiraye kirayen sallar magrib sannan ya kunna motar ya bar gurin, yana sake kallon windows din da fatan zai hango ko da inuwar ta ce amma ko inuwa mai kama da tata bai gani ba. Gidan su ya dosa, sai dai kuma gabansa sai mugun faduwa yake yi har daci yake ji a bakin sa, gani yake yi kamar da akwai wata sabuwar rigimar da take jiran sa a gidan amma sai yayi saurin kawar da maganar da cewa yasan case din Asabe ne kawai za'a cigaba a kansa, maybe sun dawo daga asibitin. 

Yayi tsaki, ko yayi tafiyar sa wani gurin ne ma kar yaje gidan?  In basu ganshi ba ai ba zasu yi masa maganar ba ko? Amma kuma dai sai ya tafi gidan..........


*Baba*

 Ranar kamar kullum yaje sallar asuba, sannan ya dawo ya zauna a dakin sa akan sallaya yana ta adduoin sa kamar yadda ya saba, a lokacin ne yaji karar wayarsa kamar sako ya shigo, ya share ya cigaba da harkokin sa dan yasan ba zai wuce network providers din sa ba da basu da aiki sai damun mutum da sakonni marasa ma'ana. Har sai daya kammala sannan ya tashi ya dauki wayar sa da take gefe ya koma kan gado da niyyar sake komawa bacci kafin gari ya karasa wayewa kuma ya fita yaga abinda hali zai yi. Ya tsani wannan rashin aikin nasa, ya saba shekara da shekaru kullum ya tashi zai je gurin aiki, kullum yana da abinda yake looking forward to doing, amma yanzu dai yayi ta zaman gida in ya gaji kuma sai ya fita yayi ta yawon da babu gurin zuwa. Tun yana kai wa abokai da yan'uwa ziyara har ya hakura ya daina zuwa dan gudun kar ace yana zuwa kwadayi. 

Zaman banzan kuma shi yake haddasa masa tunane tunane marasa ma'ana, musamman yanzu akan batan Hauwa'u da yayanta. Kullum da ita yake kwana da kuma ita yake tashi a ransa, menene ya faru da har zata zani ta bijire masa ta bijirewa mijinta sannan ta debi yaya ta tafi wata duniyar da babu wanda ya san inda take. Anya kuwa ba wani mugun abu ne ya faru da su ba? Duniyar nan fa bata da kyau, mugaye mun kusan fin mutane na garin yawa a gari.

Wannan ya saka yayi abinda bai taba tunanin zaiyi ba, ya tura amaryar sa garin su da niyyar ta bincika ko can ta tafi tunda ta taba zuwa ta san hanya. Amma har yanzu suma shiru, duk inda suke tunanin zata je acan din sun je amma bata je ba. Ya tuna cewa jiya da suka yi waya Tahir ya gaya masa akwai gurin da zasu je a jiyan ko Allah zai saka a dace ko ta je can, gidan wata cousin din su Umma ce.

Ya gyara kwanciyar sa sannan ya jawo wayarsa da niyyar ya kira Tahir din yaji ko sun je can din kuma menene suka samu. Sai dai sunan da ya gani akan wayar ta sa ya saka ya tashi zaune da sauri, sannan ya nemo eye glasses dinsa ya saka dan ya tabbatar ba wai idonsa ne yake yi masa gizo ba. 

Hauwa'u

Ya maimaita sunan "Hauwa'u?" Saboda rikice wa ma sai ya kasa tantancewa ko missed call ne ko kuma message, sai daya danna sannan yaga message ya bude. Ya tashi zaune sosai yana gyara glasses din idonsa sannan kuma ya karanta sakon nata. Sai kuma ya zauna sosai ya sauko da kafafuwan sa kasa ya sake karantawa.

Wannan yarinyar me take nufi ne? Me take cewa ne? Ta nan ta bullo kuma dan tayi justifying guduwar da tayi?

Amma kuma anya? Mijinta ne fa kuma uban yayanta, sannan shi kansa shaida ne na irin soyayyar da take tsakanin su, sannan kuma tun tashin ta Jidda ba mai karya bace ba, ita ba mai surutu bace ba ma tana da sanyi sosai. Da dai Farhan ce ko Amira sune masu zance sosai, mai surutu kuwa yawanci yana da karya. 

Amma kuma anya???????

Ba wai maganar da ta fada ce ta tayar masa da hankali ta saka ya cire hularsa ya fara firfita fuskar sa da ita duk da yanayin sanyi ne bana zafi ba, sunayen da ta ambata ta kula alakanta su da mijinta akan wannan maganar, wannan mummunar maganar.

Baccin da bai koma ba kenan, ya ringa sakawa yana warwarewa. Yaji dadin jin suna lafiya amma kuma  Yana so ya tabbatar gaskiya yar ta sa ta fada ba wai zargi ne irin nasu na mata ba dan wadansu matan basa tantancewa tsakanin mijin da yake neman aure da kuma manemin mata, wata matar da ta ga mijinta yana waya ko chatting da mata sai ta fara zargin shi da zina. And a cikin zuciyarsa sai yaji yana wishing hakan ne ya faru, yadda za'a iya zaunar dasu ayi musu fada ayi musu nasiha shikenan maganar ta wuce, amma kuma deep inside him sai yake jin cewa maganar ta wuce zargi, yanayin yadda Jidda tayi maganar akwai wani assurance da yake nuni da kamar she is sure of what she is saying. 

Ta ce yayi bincike, sai dai shi bai san ta inda zai fara binciken ba, Jamilar da ta ambata tayi aure tana gidan mijinta, ta yaya kuma zai je ya bincike ta da wannan maganar? Sai kuma Mammy, sai dai shi bai ma tabbatar wacce mamyn take nufi ba, Mammy daya ya sani kuma baya jin ita take nufi, it can't be........

Amma in dai gaskiya ne tun dadewa mai yasa Jidda bata gaya masa ba sai yanzu? Yanzun ma sai data gudu uwa duniya sannan zata aiko masa da sako?

Haka ya wuni ranar a daki, ya rasa mai zaiyi ya rasa tunanin mai zaiyi. Sai can yamma ya fito barandar gaban dakinsa  ya tsaya yana kallon tsakar gidan nasa, a lokacin ne yaga shigowar Farhan har tana sanda, takalman ta a hannun ta dan kar yaji shigowar ta

 "ke!" Ya daka mata tsawa. Ta yarda takalman hannunta ta diririce ta rasa wanne dakin zata shiga. Sai abin ya bashi mamaki, wai dama haka suke tsoron sa? Wannan tsoron ne ya saka Jidda ta kasa zuwa ta gaya masa matsalar ta ayi wa tufkar hanci har sai da ta saka mata hawan jini tana kyar kankanuwar ta?

 "Zo nan!" Yace da karfi.

Ta saki jakar hannunta sannan ta fara hawowa stairs din, yana lura da yadda bakinta yake motsawa amma ya kasa gane karkarwar sanyi take yi ko kuma magana take yi a hankali? Tazo dai-dai shi kunnen sa ya jiyo masa........... ".,............subhanaka inni kuntu minaz zalimin" 

Mamaki ya kama shi, wato addu'a take yi da neman tsarin Allah daga abinda zai yi mata. Dama tsoron sa da suke ji har ya kai haka? Ya shiga falo ta biyo bayansa ta rakube a gefe 

"Abba dan Allah kayi hakuri. Wallahi ba nisa nayi ba nan makota na shiga gurin kawata na karbo aron phone charger din ta" 

Ya zauna yana kallon ta, ya tuna yadda Jidda ma ta kanyi karkarwa idan yayi mata irin wannan kiran. 

Sai yace "tambayar ki zanyi. Maganar Jidda, tsakanin ki da Allah kin san inda take ko baki sani ba" ta bude ido "wallahi Abba ban sani ba. Jiya dai Umar ya ce yana tunanin tana gidan wata kawarta Diyam, yace yau zai je ya bincika, amma wallahi ni ban sani ba"

Ya gyada kai, sannan ya danyi shiru kafin ya kara da "dalilin tafiyar ta fa? Kin sani?" Tayi saurin girgiza kai, amma sai yaga alamar rashin gaskiya a tare da ita dan haka ya sake tambaya "kin san wata matsala da take samu da mijinta? Ke ce aminiyarta kuma na tabbatar ta gaya miki suna samun matsala da mijinta, kin sani?"

Ta dago kai, gabakidayan ta a tsorace take amma bata ce komai ba sai da ya sake tambaya "da gaske Jidda tana da hawan jini?" Sai yaga alamar damuwa a fuskarta sannan tace "da gaske ne Abba, nima ba gaya min tayi ba magungunan hawan jini na gani a jakarta shine na tambaye ta, sannan ne ta gaya min" ya gyara zama yace "me tace miki?" Ta danyi shiru, da alama maganar tayi mata nauyi a bakinta, sai ya taimaka mata "tace miki mijinta yana neman mata ko?" Ta gyada kai da sauri tana kara dunkule wa a gurin, ya rufe idonsa yana jin zafin maganar sai kuma ya sake yi mata tambayar "da wa da wa tace miki ya nema?" 

Ta dago tana kallon sa sannan sai ta lissafa da yatsun hannunta "da yaya Jamila, da kawarta Maryam, da kuma wadansu da ban san su ba" yaji kansa ya sara yace "tashi ki tafi" ta mike da sauri tana Allah Allah ta bar gurin kar yayi mata fadan yawo sai kuma taji ya kira sunan ta "Aisha" ta juyo taga ya dafe kansa da hannunsa "kar ki gaya wa babarki" ta gyada kai da sauri sannan ta fita. Yana jin ta tana sauka stairs a guje.

Ya dan jima a zaune sai kuma ya mike ya dauki wayarsa da hularsa ya fita. A daidaita sahu ya hau ya bashi kwatancen gidan su Umar Mintuna kadan suka je gidan, ya biya ya fita ya shiga gidan sannan ya gayawa mai gadi ya sanar wa da alhajin zuwan sa, jim kadan Alhaji Muhammad Gidado ya fito da kansa ya tare shi suka shiga falon sa na waje suka zauna tare da sake gaisawa. Sai dai kowannen su yana lura da yadda yanayin fuskar dan'uwan sa take babu dadi. Sai kuma suka yi shiru. Sai daga baya Abba ya dauko wayarsa ya bude sakon Jidda sannan ya mika wa Baba. Yana lura da yadda hannun Baba yake rawa sanda ya karba, yana gama karanta wa kuwa wayar ta zame daga hannunsa ta fadi kasa sai kuma ya sunkuya ya dauka ya mika Abba yana ambaton innalillahi wa inna ilaihir rajiun, daga nan kuma sai ya dafe kansa ya kasa cewa komai, ya jima a haka sannan ya dago kai yana kallon Abba yace "tana ina yanzu?" Abba ya daga kafada "ban sani ba gaskiya, amma yaruwarta ta gaya min cewa Umar ya san inda take"

"Umar" Baba ya fada cikin kunan zuciya, "Umar" ya sake ambata
 "Alhaji dan Allah kayi hakuri, wallahi sam bani da masaniya akan wannan mummunar halayyar ta Umar, da ace jiya wani ga gaya min ma da ba lallai ne in yarda ba amma dazu na tabbatar, dazu na tabbatar da dalilin da yasa Jidda tabar gidan sa" Abba ya juyo yana kallon sa yace "wanne dalili ne?" 

Baba ya dan tauna maganar yana kara jin ciwon ta, amma Abba a matsayin sa na baban Jidda ya kamata ya sani dan sai sun zama frank to each other kafin su kamo bakin zaren. Yace "akan yar aikin ta ne, akan irin wannan maganar" Abba yaji kansa ya kara sarawa "yar aiki?" Sai yaji zuciyarsa tana kara yarda da maganar Mammy ma, tabbas Mammyn da ya sani ce. 

Baba yace "su waye wadannan da ta ambata a cikin sakonta? Yadda tayi maganar kamar ka san su" 

Abba ya jingina kansa da jikin kujera yace "Jamila yayar ta ce, da ni da babar Jamila uwa daya uba daya ne suka haife mu" 

Baba yace "innalillahi wa inna ilaihir rajiun" Abba ya dora da cewa "Mammy kuma yarta ce, yar yayar ta ce, da Jidda da mahaifiyar Mammy duk ni na haife su" 

Sai ya mike da sauri yana jin zafin abin yana shiga can cikin zuciyarsa, Umar ya ci mutuncinsa fiye da tunanin sa, ya wulakanta matarsa iyakacin wulakanci. 

Yace cikin sarkewar murya "Mammy ta kan je gidan Jidda ta zauna dan ta taya ta ayyukan gida a matsayin ta na uwarta, na kan ji dadi in hakata faru dan ina ganin hakan zai kara hada kai tsakanin yayana da suke ba uwa daya ba. Ban san abinda yake faruwa ba kenan ban san........." Sai kuma yayi shiru, sannan ya kara da cewa "I thought I was protecting them from sharrin mazan da suke waje, ban san wanda na hada ta dashi yafi na wajen guba ba"

Baba ya mike "kayi hakuri Alhaji, duk da nasan ko harshe dubu ne da ni ba lallai ne su ishe ni in baka hakuri ba" Abba yace "ba sai ka bani hakuri ba Alhaji, mai laifi daban mai bayar da hakuri daban?" 

Baba yace "a yanzu na fahimci cewa laifin duk nawa ne, da ace na bawa tarbiyyar yayana muhimmanci fiye da yadda na bawa kasuwanci na maybe da yaro na bai zama haka ba, I didn't know because I wasn't looking. Na tattara tarbiyyar gabakidaya na barta a hannun iyayen su mata ni kuma na rungumi neman kudi tunani na dashi zan basu rayuwa mai kyau. Na manta cewa ita tarbiyya ta uwa da uba ce gabakidaya dan ita uwa ba zata ga abinda da yake yi a waje ba, kuma a wajen ne ake aikata mafiya munin laifuffuka. Dan haka laifi nane, nine ban rike amanar da Allah ya bani da kyau ba" ya karasa kamar zai fashe da kuka.

Abba yayi hanyar waje yana cewa "idan yazo a gaya masa ya sanar dani inda yata take, zan je in dauko ta in dawo da ita gidan su, sannan kuma a gaya masa ya rubuta mata takardar ta ko kuma in kai alkali ya rubuta mata"

Baba ya biyo bayan sa yana magiya amma bai kula shi ba dan yana jin nauyinsa sosai, baya son ya karya masa zuciya ya ya kasa yin abinda yayi niyya.

Yana fita daga falon Umar yana shigowa gidan, kuma ya ganshi, gabansa yayi wata irin faduwa, ya bude mota ya fito sannan yabi bayan Abba ba tare da ya rufe kofar motar ba. 

"Abba Abba Abba" amma ko kallon sa baiyi ba har ya fita gate shi kuma ya bi bayansa, ya ga yana kokarin tsayar da adaidaita sahu sai yace " Abba ga mota, gida za'a kai ka?" Bai amsa ba ya shiga sannan ya juyo yace "na bar maka sako a gurin babanka, kaje ya gaya maka".

Umar yaji ya kasa motsa wa daga inda yake har adaidaitan tayi nisa, sai kuma ya juya zuwa gida da sauri ya kuma zarce falon Baba. 

A kofar falon yaga Asabe da iyayenta a zaune, ya wuce su without a single look.

A tsaye ya tarar da Baban a tsakiyar falon nasa, fuskarsa da wani yanayi mai wuyar fassara. Suka tsaya suna kallon juna sai Baba yayi masa tambaya 

"ka san wata yarinya Mammy?"

Umar bai san sanda ya kai kasa ba sai ganinsa yayi a kasan, numfashin sa a rike a kirjinsa. 

Baba ya danyi murmushin da yafi kuka ciwo yace "ba dan ta jiki na ka fito duniya ba, da tabbas yau zan ce babu ni babu kai. Kuma ka rubuta takardar yarsa ka kai masa"

Sai ya juya zai shiga dakinsa amma sai wani jiri ya kwashe shi yayi baya straight, Umar yayi sufa ya rike kansa kafin ya kai kasa amma duk da hakan  Baba bai karasa hannun Umar din cikin hayyacinsa ba.

"Baba!" Umar ya fada da muryar da tafi kama da ba tasa ba.

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*Wannan littafin na siyarwa ne bisa amana, idan baki siya ba kar ki karanta idan kuma kin siya kar kiyi sharing in kika yi kin ci amana kuma ke da Allah*


 *Pushed away*

Cikin tashin hankali Umar ya kai hannun sa wuyan Baba ya taba pulse dinsa, sannan ya mike da sauri ya daga shi duk kuwa da cewa ba wai karami bane Baban amma gani yake in ya barshi anan ya tafi neman taimako wani abun zai iya samunsa kafin ya dawo, yana fita waje ya fara kwalla kiran driver yana neman taimako, da gaggawa drivers din gidan su uku suka taso kusan a tare kowa yana laluben key din motar da take hannunsa amma sai Umar ya doshi tashi motar ya saka Baba a baya driver daya ya shiga ya ja suka bar gidan.

Nearest hospital suka je, nan da nan aka karbe su aka shiga dashi inda za'a bashi taimakon gaggawa aka bar Umar a tsaye yana jin kamar bai taba shiga aji ya zauna da niyyar koyon karatun likita ba, ga kujeru a gurin amma sai ya zauna a kasa dirshan yana magana da kansa kamar tababbe. "Am sorry Baba, please don't leave me, stay with me. Oh Allah. Allah na tuba Allah. Not my father please" sai ya rufe fuskar sa da hannayensa yana fitar da numfashi mai zafi yana jin kansa yana tsananin juyawa kwakwalwar sa ta toshe babu abinda yake iya tunawa sai the fact that Baba ya yanke jiki a fadi a saboda bakin cikin sa. The fact that a Dalilin sa ne baban ya fadi hurt him so much, cewa daga safe zuwa yanzu har ya saka wa Baban sa bakin cikin da har zai fadi unconscious, probably ace jininsa ne ya hau, abinda duk shekarun Baba a duniya bai taba haduwa da shi ba sai yau sai a kansa, sai a dalilin bakin cikin sa, a rana daya.

Wannan wacce irin rana ce? Wacce irin bak'ar doguwar rana ce wadda ba zata kare ba haka nan? Abubuwan da suka faru a ranar suna da yawan da Umar yake ganin su kamar a shekara guda ne suka faru. Gashi kuma har yanzu dare ba wani yi yayi sosai ba. Ya duba agogon hannunsaya ga it is just 7: 30, sai ya tuna bai yi sallar magrib ba sai ya fita zuwa masallacin da yake cikin asibitin yayi alwala ya tayar da sallah, amma cikin sallar yayi sallama ta kai sau uku yana sakewa, gabakidayan sa a rikice yake bai san me yake karantawa ba, bai taba tunanin akwai tashin hankali irin wannan a duniya ba, shi sanda yana yaron sa zuwa zamanin samartakar sa bai san menene tashin hankali ba, shi a lokacin tashin hankalin sa shine ya ji aljihunsa babu kuɗin da za'a yi wa mata burga da su, bayan yayi aure kuma tashin hankalin sa shine Jidda ta kama shi da laifi, yanzu kuma tashin hankali have a totally entirely different meaning. 

It means not seeing your family hearing from them for over a month, it means getting rejected by the one you love the most, it means admitting a gaban Mama da Baba da maigadi da iyalin sa cewa ya nemi lalata da yarinyar su, it means makala maka laifin da ba kayi ba and getting punished for it, punishment din ma kuma wai shine auren lalatacciyar yar aikin matarsa, it also means admitting to Baba cewa wannan bashi ne karo na farko daya aikata laifin zina ba, sannan kuma tashin hankali yanzu yana nufin surukinka da yake ganin girmanka fiye da sauran maza ya gane cewa kai din mazinaci ne kuma har ma da jikarsa, ƴar yar matarka kayi lalata da ita, sannan kuma babban tashin hankali shine babanka ya yanke jiki ya fadi rai a hannun Allah saboda bakin cikin ka.

Duk wannan kuma ya faru dashi ne a yau, duk wannan ya faru da shine sanadiyyar kaifi guda daya, zina. 

Da ba yayi, da hakan duk ba zai same shi ba, da ba zasuyi rigima da Jidda har ta kai ta ga guduwa ba, in ma zasuyi rigima sai dai akan kananan abubuwan da dole ba zasu iya avoiding ba a matsayi su na mutane, amma ba'a kan zina ba. 

Shi kalmar ma wani iri yake jinta ko da kuwa a bakin sa ne ballantana a bakin wani. Shi duk sanda yake yin abarsa ba da wannan kalmar su ke kiran abin ba, basu taba kiran abin da wannan kalmar ba. 

Amma abin tambayar shine, ta yaya Abba ya san maganar Mammy har yazo ya gayawa Baba? Ta yaya? Ko dai yarinyar ce ta bude wannan mummunan bakin nata ta gaya wa mutane? Har maganar ta je kunnen Abba, da wa da wa ta gayawa so far? Da wa da waye suka sani so far? Amma tabbas sai yaci ubanta wallahi, shi bakin cikinsa shine bama shi da tabbas din ya neme ta dan bai san sanda ya neme tan ba kamar yadda bai san ya aikata abubuwa da yawa da suka faru a lokacin da aka ce ya neme tan ba, well akace zai ce, dan shi a bakin Jidda yaji da bakin Bashir da bakin mai gadin gidan gonar su Bashir da kuma a cikin wayarsa. Damn it, wai me yasa laifuffukan da ake kama shi dasu ba wai ainahin wadanda ya aikata ba ne ba?? Me yasa?

Sai zuciyarsa ta raya masa cewa saboda ba Jidda, da Abba da Baba ne suke kama shi ba, ba sune suke hukunta shi ba, Allah ne yake kama shi kuma shi yake hukunta shi kuma shi yasan dukkan laifuffukan sa hatta wadanda ko babban amininsa Bashir bai sani ba, hukuncin su yake yi masa ba wai hukuncin wadanda aka gane yayi ba.

Sai yaji tsoro ya kamashi, tabbas indai laifuka irin wadannan ne suna da yawan da shi kansa ba zai iya lissafa su ba, dan haka shi kansa ya sani cewa wannan hukuncin yayi kadan, tabbas wannan sharar fage ne yake gani, tabbas something big is coming. Sai yaji jikinsa ya kama karkarwa saboda tsoron abinda zai zo next, menene? Baba ne zai mutu? Sai kuma ya tuna da maganar Baba kafin ya fadi 

"kuma ka rubuta masa takardar yarsa ka kai masa" 

Ya mike da sauri ya fita daga masallacin, kokari yake yi ya tura maganar zuwa can bayan kwakwalwar sa inda ba ma zai ke tunawa da ita ba. Amma sai taki tafiya, ta baro kwakwalwar ta dawo cikin zuciyarsa ta share guri ta zauna. 

"Wacce 'yar Baba yake nufi? Ko dai a labarin da suka ji na Mammy munafukar yarinyar ce musu tayi ya aure ta ne shine suke maganar ya sake ta. Ko kuma har sun daura auren da suka ce zasu daura na Asabe shine Baba yake maganar ya kaiwa maigadi takardar sakin yarsa an fasa auren. 

But what if duk ba wadannan impossible imaginary abubuwan suke magana akai ba, what if suna magana ne akan reality, suna magana ne akan matarsa ta sunna? What if Abba ne bayan ya gano abinda ya faru tsakanin sa da jikarsa shine yazo yayi demanding a sakar masa yarsa? Shi kansa Umar yasan wannan ita ce maganar gaskiya amma ba ma yaso ya kawo wannan tunanin a ransa dan zuciyarsa zata yi collapsing ne ya fadi kasa ya tarwatse.

Amma what if wannan shine next punishment din da zai fuskanta a duniya, punishment na rabuwa da abinda yafi so fiye da komai, matarsa Jidda. 

Ya girgiza kai sannan ya danyi murmushin tabbatar wa kansa cewa wannan wani mugun wasa ne ma iyayen nasu suke yi masa, abu daya da zai raba shi da Jidda shine mutuwa, ko tashi ko tata. Sunyi fushi ne ya sani, amma zasu sauko dan kansu tunda dai sakin nan a hannunsa yake shi kadai kuma ko gigin mutuwa yake yi ba zai sake ta ba sai dai in ya mutu tayi takaba.

 Yana fita waje yaga shigowar motar gidan su, a ciki ya ga Mama da Aunty da Mufida da twins, gabakidaya gidan ma kenan, suna hangoshi duk suka yo inda yake dukkan su hankalin su a tashe amma sai ya fara aiyanawa a ransa ko suma sun sani? Ya san Mama ta san wasu abubuwan amma Aunty da kannensa fa? Kannensa fa? Idan suka san abinda yake aikatawa zasu kuma ganin girmansa har su saurari maganar sa idan yayi musu ko kuma suji fadansa idan yayi musu, a matsayin sa na babban wa ta yaya zai iya rike kannensa idan babu ran mahaifinsu. 

Sai ya hango anzo nema auren afnan gurinsa sai kuma aka binciko halinsa aka ce an fasa "shi marikin nata ai tsohon mazinaci ne, yaran mutane yake lalatawa" and they will be gone, never to return again. 

Wato punishment din ma ba zai zamanto nashi bane shi kadai, zai shafi har wadanda suke kusa da shi, wadanda yake holding very dear to his heart, iyayensa (tunda ga Baba already a gadon asibiti), yanuwansa, matarsada yayansa. Yaji gabansa ya fadi, matarsa da yayansa, indai har za'a iya fasa aure Afnan saboda laifinsa Yasmin kuma fa? Asad kuma fa? Za'a bashi aure in yaje nema? Ko kuma za'a bashi damar tsayawa takara idan ya kasance yana son yin siyasa?

 Sai ya hango abinda zai faru da Asad idan ya girma ya shiga cikin abokai musamman if he tries to play holy, one of the abokai might just say "dalla can ku rabu da shi, ai mun san komai an bamu labarin komai, har labarin yadda ubale ya danne yar aiki"

Ashe dai abin kunyar ba'a kansa kadai zai tsaya ba, ashe dai da gaske ne da Jidda tace masa sharrin zina yana naso ne daga wanda yayi zuwa dukkan wadanda suka shafe shi. Yayansa da matarsa kuma sune farko tunda sunfi kowa kusanci da shi.

Maganganun su Mama ne suka dawo dashi hayyacinsa "Umar ina Baban naku" "yaya Doctor are you okay" "Faruq mai ya samu Alhaji? Mai ya faru da shi?" "Yaya ina Baba?"

Ya girgiza kai yana so ya dawo da tunaninsa zuwa gare shi. "Uhmmm. Yana ciki. Ku taho. Bara inje in duba" 

"Da tahowa kai waje ka barshi shi kadai? Me kake yi a wajen to? In kuma yana neman wani abu fa? In doctors din suna neman wani abu fa?"

 Aunty ta kama fada cikin nuna tashin hankali da takaici, yayi tunanin Mama zata shiga ta tare masa kamar yadda ta saba amma sai ya ga tayi shiru bata ce komai ba, sai yayi musu jagora zuwa ciki, zuwa kofar emergency room din da Baba yake ciki sannan yace musu su zauna a waje shi kuma ya shiga ciki yana dauko medical license dinsa in case ko zasu hana shi shiga, amma sai ya tarar har sun gama bawa Baba dukkan gudummawar da zasu bashi har bacci ya dauke shi, sai suka yi masa bayani "jininsa ne ya hau sosai" suka gaya masa readings din, ya dafe kai cikin tashin hankali, one of the doctors ya dafa shi "Allah ya kiyaye ai, abin yazo da sauki da bai samu stroke ba, but har yanzu ba wai sauka jinin yayi ba mun dai yi stabilizing dinsa ne for now, but I will advise cewa kar a dame shi kuma ayi avoiding duk abinda zai bata masa rai, a barshi ya huta sosai" 

Umar ya gyada kai sannan ya basu hannu suka gaisa kuma yayi musu godiya, sai suka tura shi inda zai je ya biya bill, ya fito ya sake wuce su Mama yaje ya biya komai ya dawo, sai a lokacin aka turo gadon da Baba yake kai aka fito da shi zuwa dakin da aka bashi, su Mama suna ganin shi unconscious sai kuka, kowa kuka, da kyar Umar ya rarrashe su suka yi shiru aka kaishi dakin amma sai Umar ya ce su ganshi kawai su fito, 

"ba'a son a dame shi dan ana son jinin nasa ya samu ya sauka"

"Jininsa ya sauka kuma? Jininsa ne ya hau?" Aunty ta tambaya cikin tashin hankali "yaushe Alhaji ya samu hawan jini kuma bamu sani ba?" Mama ta tambaya amma duk babu wadda Umar ya amsa wa a cikin su har sai da ya kammala saka masa drip din da doctors din suka bar masa ya saka sannan ya fita ya basu guri. 

Can wani lungu ya samu ya zauna ya dafe kansa, sauro yana ta cizon sa amma ko a jikinsa kuma shi kansa bai san abinda yake yi a gurin ba har sai da dare yayi sosai sannan ya koma dakin da Baba yake, ya tarar har driver ya mayar da Mufida da sauran yara gida sai Mama da Aunty, sai kuma Muhsina da tazo a lokacin tana zaune tana ta faman rusar kuka kamar wadda aka cewa Baban ba zai tashi ba, yayi mata tsaya "kiyi wa mutane shiru ko ki fita daga nan, so kike ki tashe shi kuma ki kara masa wani ciwon?" Tayi shiru tana goge hawayenta, sai kuma wani tunani yazo masa "will she have obeyed him like that idan tasan abinda yake aikatawa, in tasan dalilin da baban nasu ya yanke jiki ya fadi?

 Ya sake duba Baba sai kuma ya dauki iyayen da Muhsina duk ya tafi dasu, ita ya ajiye ta a gidan ta su kuma ya kaisu gida sannan shi kadai ya juyo ya dawo asibitin gurin Baba. 

Ranar haka ya kwana a kan kujera a gaban gadon Baba, checking his vitals lokaci zuwa lokaci amma baya samun wani result mai kyau duk da da doctors report ya nuna sun bashi duk abinda ya kamata su bashi. Babu abinda zaiyi for now sai dai ya jira, sai kuma ya tuna cewa he can do more than jira, he can pray. 

Yaje yayi alwala sannan ya fita motarsa ya dauko sallaya yazo ya shimfida, a ransa yana tunanin ranar da Jidda tayi rashin lafiya makamanciyar wannan, ranar da jinin ta ya hau kamar yadda na Abba ya hau, a lokacin tana da tsohon cikin Asad, ciwon da ya jawo aka haifi Asad prematurely, shima kuma lokacin shine sanadin ciwon ta. Ya tuna da alkawarin da yayi wa kansa a lokacin, alkawarin da yayi wa Allah a lokacin da kuma alkawarin da yayi maya bayan ta samu sauki ya daina halinsa, kuma a lokacin bai taba tsammanin zai sake ba, amma shima kansa bai san sanda ya sake din ba. What went wrong?

Sai yaji ya kasa yin wata addu'ar, ya kasa yiwa Ubangijin sa wani alkawarin saboda yana kunyar wancan alkawarin da yayi kuma ya karya ba tare da wani dalili ba da ya wuce son zuciyata da kuma satisfying his body cravings, cravings din da they never seemed satisfied.

But koma ya samu satisfaction din was it really worth it? Satisfaction din few minutes da illar su take staying har karshen rayuwa. Satisfaction din da suka saka shi a halin da yake ciki a yanzu yadda ko daga ido baya iya yi ya kalli mahaifansa, ballantana surikinsa wanda baya jin har abada zai iya tsayawa a gabansa.

Sai dai kuma idan bai tsaya a gaban nasa ba bai san yadda zai yi ya roke shi ya dawo masa da matarsa ba.

 Sanda ya gama adduoin sa lokacin har asuba tayi dan haka ya wuce masallaci yayi sallah sannan ya sake dawowa, ya tarar Baba ya tashi yana kokarin sauko wa sai ya je ya taimaka masa ya sauko ya kai shi toilet yayi alwala sannan ya shimfida masa abin sallah yayi, all the while avoiding his eyes, har sai da ya bashi magungunan sa koma ya kwantar dashi sannan Baba yace "ka rubuta? Ka rubuta wa Jidda takardar ta ka kaiwa babanta kamar yadda ya nema?" Umar yayi shiru bai ce komai ba kansa a kasa sai Baba ya sake cewa "ka zama kurma ne kuma?" Umar ya girgiza kai "Baba ba ka da lafiya, kayi hakuri ka bar maganar nan dan Allah"

 Baba ya fara kokarin tashi "sanda ka aikata ai baka damu da cewa zai bata min rai ba ko? Ko ka sani? Ko kuma ka sani baka damu ba? Ko nine idan suruki na yayi min abinda kayi masa dole zan ce ya sakar min ya in yaki kuma in kai shi kara tunda ina da hujjar da alkali zai raba auren a take. Dan haka zabi ya rage naka, ko ka sake ta cikin lumana da rufin asiri ko kuma su kaika court ka sake ta bayan an tona maka asiri a gaban mutane, the choice is yours" 

Umar ya zame daga kan kujerar zuwa kasa ya rike hannun Baba "Baba dan Allah. Wallahi ba zan iya rabuwa da ita ba Baba. Baba ka taimaka min ka bashi hakuri" Baba ya zare hannunsa daga nasa "ni ba zanje in bayar da hakuri ba, ni ba zan ma iya sake hada ido da shi ba. Kai da ka aikata abin da ka aikata sai kaje ka bashi hakurin in ya hakura shikenan, in yarinyar itama ta hakura shikenan. Amma ni in nine ba zan hakura ba na sani. Ba zaka iya rabuwa da ita ba amma ai ka iya neman yarta ko?" 

Umar ya zauna a kasa dabas! "Abba wallahi ban san nayi ba, ni inajin ma Mutanen nan asiri suka yi min dan wallahi ban san na aikata ba sai daga baya aka gaya min. Wallahi Baba asiri suka yi min" Baba ya girgiza kai cikin takaici "asiri Umar? Menene dalilin da zai saka suyi maka asiri? Duk mazan duniya su rasa wanda zasuyi wa asiri sai kai da kake surikin su? Kai kana ganin akwai iyayen da zasu yi asirin da zai saka a lalata musu yar su? Idan da ace baka auren Jidda sai a iya yin tunanin suna so su makala maka ita ne dan ka aureta, amma ta yaya zasu ce ka aure ta bayan kana auren babarta?" 

Umar yayi shiru yana jujjuya kansa, shima it doesn't make sense to him amma yasan gaskiya ce, gaskiya ce amma wadda babu wanda zai yarda dashi a kanta dan bashi da wata shaida akan hakan. And that hurts him a lot. 

"Baba wallahi" ya sake attempting, Baba ya daga masa hannu "ka daina rantsuwa akan karya Umar, kuma ka tashi ka fita ka bani guri".

Ya jima a zaune, sannan ya tashi yayi waje da sauri sai dai yana kaiwa bakin kofa Baba ya sake kiran sunan sa, ya juyo da fatan Baban ya sauko ne zaije ya rokar masa Abba amma sai yaji baban yace "ka shirya rana ita yau za'a daura auren ka".

Da sauri ya fita ya rufo kofar, a ransa yana aiyanawa in dai zancen Asabe ne ana gama daurawa a gurin zai rubuta mata saki uku ya damka wa waliyin ta, sai dai sama da kasa su hadu. A stairs ya hadu da Aunty da Mufida suna hawowa, "Umar ya maijikin, muna ta kiran wayarka ba ka daga ba" "da sauki" kawai yace mata sannan ya karasa fita, Mufida ta bi bayansa "yaya Doctor ga abinci nan an taho maka dashi, kazo kaci, Mama tace in gaya maka ka ci" ya juyo a fusace ya nuna ta da yatsa "ki shiga hankalin ki, ko in sassaba miki a gurin nan" tayi baya da sauri fuskar ta cike da mamaki sannan ta bishi da kallo har ya shiga motarsa ya bar gurin.

Gidan sa ya nufa direct, mai gadi ya bude masa ya shiga sannan ya taho da gudu yana gaishe shi tare da yi masa tuni cewa wata ya kare har an shiga wani amma bai ji dumus ba, Umar yaji kamar ya rufe shi da duka, amma sai ya shafa aljihun sa yace "yi hakuri da Allah, na manta ne wallahi kuma yanzu babu kudi a jikina amma in na fita zan dawo maka dasu" bai jira amsar sa ba ya wuce ciki.

Direct dakin Jidda ya tafi ya fada kan gado yana jin sauran kamshinta da har yanzu bai gama barin dakin ba. Ya jawo pillow ya dora a fuskarsa, so yake yi ma ya samu yayi kuka irin wanda takan zauna tayi tayi amma shi ya kasa yi ko kadan ne ballantana yaji dadi. 

Yanzu menene abin yi? Abubuwan da suka faru sun ruga sun faru sai dai fatan Allah ya kiyaye gaba amma menene abin yi? Shi dai yasan ko da wuka a wuyansa ba zai saki Jidda ba. Kuma yasan ba zai iya zuwa ya durkusa ya bawa Baba hakuri ba dan a yanzu ma in ya tuna haduwar su ta jiya ji yake yi kamar zai narke a inda yake, ji yake yi duk ya tsani kansa. 

Yanzu mafita a gare shi kawai ita ce ya san hanyar da zai bi ya samu ganin Jidda kafin iyayenta su riga shi ganinta, ya samu ta saurare shi ta fahimci seriousness din halin da ake ciki ta fahimci irin halin da yake ciki ya san zata tausaya masa, zata iya cewa ta yafe masa kuma zata dawo gidan sa, in ta fadi haka babu alkalin da zai raba musu aure, idan har ya samu ta dawo gidan sa then everything will be ok for him, with her by his side he will be ready to face the world.

amma ta yaya? 

Ta yaya zai ganta har ta ta saurare shi har kuma ta yarda da shi har ta dawo gidan ta. Ta ina zai fara?

Wayarsa tayi kara, ya daga yana kallon sunan a take kuma yawun bakinsa ya kafe. Waliyin Jidda ne. 

"Innalillahi wa inna ilaihir rajiun" ya ajiye wayar a gefe yana kallon ta kuma yana sauraron karar kidan ta har ta katse sannan wani kiran ya sake shigowa shima ya katse sai wani.

"Idan fa baka dauka ba kana karawa kanka laifi ne" 

Wata zuciyar ta gaya masa, ya dauki wayar a ransa yana aiyanawa "ko ya sani shima?" 

Ya amsa kiran sannan ya saka wayar a kunnensa 

"Hello salamu alaikum. Kawu barka da safiya"

"Yauwa doctor barka kadai, ya mahaifan naka?"

"Lafiya lau kawu"

"Yanzu ai ake gaya min ashe ka gano inda yarinyar nan take mai taurin kai, to alhamdulillah, shine na kira dama ka gaya mana inda take sai muje mu taho da ita gida kafin kuma a zaunaa duba maganar aga abinda ya faru da kuma yadda za'a bullo masa"

Umar ya sauke ajjiyar zuciyar da yake rikewa. Bai sani ba. Amma yasan Abba ne zai gaya masa yasan inda Jidda take shi kuma Farhan ce ta gaya masa, shine zasu kira su tambaya dan su je su dauko ta. Tana shiga hannun su kuwa shi da ganinta sai ranar da Allah yayi. 

Yace "haka ne kawu, tana gidan wata kawar ta ne anan unguwa uku, nima dai ban ganta ba naje jiya taki fitowa"

Yace "to ai in taki fitowa gurin ka mu in muka je dole ta fito dan kaniyar ta, zata hadu da mu ne ai, duk ta bawa mutane wahala. Ka zo an jima gidana ka dauke ni sai muje mu dauko ta"

Da sauri Umar yace "to kawu, insha Allah" sannan ya katse kiran tare da dora wayar a kirjinsa yana fatan ina ma ranakun baya su dawo, ranakun da Abba ma yake yi masa magana kamar haka, amma a ransa ya gama kudirewa ba zai je ya kai shi gurin ta ba har sai ya samu ganin ta first. 

Ya mike tsaye, yaji wani jiri yana neman mayar da shi kwance, sai a lokacin ya tuna rabonsa da abinci tun na breakfast din jiya, ya kuma tabbatar idan bai ci abinci ba ba zai iya zuwa inda Jidda take ba ballantana ya ganta ɗin. 

Ya kuma yin kokari ya mike tsaye sannan ya bi dakin da kallo, remembering all the memories da suke cikin dakin. Ya lura da pieces din kayan ta dana yara da suke kasa waɗanda suka zube a lokacin da take hada kayan su. Ya tuno yadda ranta yake bace a lokacin, ya tuno maganar da ta gaya masa 

"Wanne Allahn kake rantse min dashi? Allahn da kake sabawa a duk chance din da ka samu?" 

"Please ni ba ma game me kake cewa nake yi ba, ka tafi dakinka ko palo ko dakin Asabe, anywhere but where I can't see you har sai na tafi then you are free to do anything, ka kawo mata ma har gidan ka ba zan takura maka ba"

Ya danyi murmushi yana shafa inda ta mare shi, "ke kadai zaki dawo gidan ki Hauwa'u. And everything will be ok. Kawai dai I need you to trust me again" 

Sai kuma ya tuna cewa tayi trusting dinsa time and time again.

Ya wuce kitchen ya hada tea amma ko rabin cup bai iya sha ba saboda baya wucewa ta makogwaronsa, ya ajiye sannan ya shiga dakin sa ya chanja kaya ba tare da ko ruwa ya zuba a jikin sa ba ballantana ya shafa mai. Sannan ya shiga motarsa ya sake komawa gidan Diyam, da niyyar sake gwada sa'arsa akan Jidda.

*Jidda*

A ranar haka kawai na tashi zuciyata naji tayi min dadi, irin feeling din da zaka ringa jin ka cikin farin ciki ba tare da kasan dalili ba. Na tashi da wuri na shirya na shirya yarana sannan muka zauna ina dora musu karatu kamar yadda nake yi musu kullum da safe dan kar a wuce su a islamiyyar su. Muna yi muna ta wasa abin mu, ina jin dadin yadda yau naga Yasmin tana cikin fara'a ko dan fadan da nayi mata jiya ne?

Muna kokarin kammalawa Asma'u kanwar Diyam ta shigo dakin itama tayi joining din mu muka cigaba tare. Sai da muka gama na tambaye ta ko Diyam ta fito? Sai ta tabe baki "yau fa weekend, Hamma yana gida, kar ma ki saka ran ganin ta yanzu gwara ma muje mu nemi abinda zamu ci tun kafin ulcer ta kama mu" nayi murmushi, kawai sai naji ina tunawa da yadda weekend ta kan kasance a gidan mu, yadda Umar makale min yace lallai sai munyi baccin safe tare bayan ni kuma ba baccin safe na iya ba, haka zanyi ta kwanciya a jikinsa har sai Allah ya cece ni Yasmin ko Asad sun tashi sannan zai barni in tashi dole in je gurin su.

Na kawar da tunanin na mike muka fita tare da Asma'u muka shiga kitchen, mai aikin Diyam daya ta taya mu muka shirya breakfast muka ajiyewa lovebirds din nasu mu kuma muka dauki namu muka dawo palo muna ci da yara, Asad yana ta yi mana surutu muna dariya, surutun da duk sentences sai an hada da sunan Daddy a ciki, shima yana missing dinsa sosai kawai dai bai kai Yasmin rigima bane ba.

Muna cikin ci Diyam ta sauko, da niyyar ta zata kai musu abinci sama ne har ta nemi Asma'u ta taya ta sai kuma ga yallaban nata ya sauko ya zauna shima a kasa kan carpet aka kawo musu abincin suka fara ci tare da matarsa, ni duk sai naji na kasa cigaba da cin nawa, irin feeling din kamar kana trespassing. Bayan na gaishe shi ne yake cewa "Diyam ta gaya min ai maigidan ki yazo, sai kuma yaji tsoro ya gudu" Diyam ta harare shi "ba fa guduwa yayi ba, zuwa yayi zai je ya dawo. Ai ja da baya a gurin rago ba tsoro bane ba shirin fada ne" 

Yace "accept it, guduwa yayi, dama tunda aka ce min bafulatani ne na san cewa guduwa zaiyi dan fulani matsorata ne" 

Sai na fahimci abinda yake faruwa, Diyam yake tsokana dan ita bafulatana ce, Asma'u tace "kai Hamma, kai ma fa bafulatanin ne" Diyam tace "rabu dashi. Ina ma Umma zata ji ka, zata ji abinda kake fada akan Fulani bayan fulanin sune kan ka ya dawa" yayi dariya "ta sani ai, tunda ta haife ni tasan ni ba bafulatani bane ba tunda ni ba matsoraci bane ba" 

Diyam tace "ai kuwa za'a ware su waye matsorata a tsakanin barebari da fulani"

Suka cigaba da hirar su tare da wasa da dariya, ni kam san na dauki abinda zan bukata na koma daki nayi zamana zuwa can ma bacci ya dauke ni, sai dai cikin baccin naji ana taba ni, na bude ido naga Asma'u sai tace "wai kizo, mutumin jiya ne ya dawo" naji gabana ya fadi amma sai na mike zaune wata zuciyar ta ce min ince da Asma'u tace masa ba zan zo ba kuma ba zanyi magana da shi ba. 

Amma kuma sai na kasa fadar hakan na mike na bi bayan ta zuwa inda wayar da suke communicating da gate take. Na dauka, "Hello?" Naji muryar "Jidda, please don't hang off. I need to see you, I need to talk to you" 

Nace "I don't want to see you or talk to you" 

Yace "naji. Just listen to me then. I will do the talking in dai zaki saurara" 

Nace "you have thirty seconds. Ka fadi abinda kake so ka fada ka kara gaba" 

Yace "Jidda please. This is serious. Baba da Abba sun san komai. Har maganar Mammy, I don't know yadda akayi suka sani. Baba yana asibiti, jininsa ya hau" 

Na lumshe idona na bude nace "it has always been serious Faruq, kai ne dai baka dauki maganar serious ba. Amma a gurina tun ranar farko da ma sani na san serious ce"

Yace "na sani Jidda, na samy serious ce tuntuni but ina gaya miki Baba yana asibiti, jininsa ya hau akan maganar........."

Nace "nima jinina ya jima da hawa, kuma akan maganar, har yanzu kuma ban warke ba" 

Naji muryar sa kamar zaiyi kuka "Jidda please listen, kin ce ba zaki yi magana dani ba to listen to me mana. Maganar babba ce fa sosai. Ban sam ya zanyi ba Jidda please ki taimaka min, Baba da Abba sunce in baki takarda and you of all people know that is not possible. Ba zan iya rabuwa dake ba Jidda because I love you and you love me too"

Nace "loved. I loved you. But not anymore. Kaje ka rubuta ka basu" 

Yace "I don't believe that. I know you love me kuma dalilin hakan ne yasa kike buya a cikin wannan gidan. If you truly don't love me fitowa zakiyi gabana ki tsaya ki kalli idona ki gaya min. Jidda mutuwa zanyi, very soon. In dai suka matsa sai na sake ki zan shiga duniya irin yadda kika yi, but at least ki barni in ganki ko sau daya ne kafin in mutun ko in shiga duniya"

Na rufe ido na ina sauraron sa, ba kalaman dayake yi ne suke taba ni ba sai yanayin da naji muryar sa a ciki. Ya cigaba

"Baba yace zai daura min aure da wannan yarinyar, wannan yar aikin naki. And Abba will soon come and take you away. Please Jidda don't let them take you away from me. You and the kids are the only thing I have left. Please Jidda don't let them take you away" 

Na bude bakina a hankali nayi magana, ina jin taste din hawaye a cikin bakina, nace 

"no body is taking me away from you Umar. You already pushed me away"

Ga masu son siya zasu iya turo kudin su #300 zuwa wannan account din

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*wannan littafin na siyarwa ne bisa amana, idan baki siya ba kar ki karanta, idan kuma kin siya kar kiyi sharing in kika yi kinci amana kuma ke da Allah*

*Back Home*

Yace "nooo Jidda, kin sani ai, kin fi kowa sanin cewa I will never do that to you. I will never hurt you. I never meant to hurt you. Nasan nayi hurting dinki but it was never intentional, kuma a yanzu babu abinda ba zan iya bayarwa ba dan in dawo da rayuwata baya in gaya ta. Amma ba zai yiwu ba, sai dai in gyara gaba kawai. Dan Allah Jidda ki dawo. Ki dawo gidan ki muci gaba da rayuwar mu tare da yayan mu. Please come back home"

Na goge hawayen da na fahimci suna zuba daga idona nace "ina ne home din? Home is where the heart is and my heart is no longer with you Zuciyata yanzu already tana gidan babana, daga nan kuma sai gidan next mijina insha Allah. Ka je ka rubuta ka basu sai yafi maka sauki, sai yafi mana sauki gabakidayan mu" 

Yayi shiru har na dauka ma ya ajiye wayar sai kuma naji yace "kina fadar haka ne dan ki bata min rai na sani, amma ina so in gaya miki ce wa ba kya bukatar bata min rai dan a halin da zuciyata take ciki bana jin akwai wata magana da zaki fada da zata bata min rai. Baba da Abba have only two options, ko dai su hakura su mayar da ke gidan ki dan ba zan sake ki ba, ko kuma su barki a gida kiyi ta zama da igiyar aure na har sai sun gaji sannan su mayar da ke, either option ends with you back to my house"

Sai nayi murmushi, yace ban bata masa rai ba amma na fahimci na bata din, and I am looking forward to more of bacin ransa sai nace "ka manta cewa suna da third option, zasu iya kaiwa alkali ya raba auren with or without your consent, and then sai suyi min aure with someone much better than you in all the ways, ka kaji dadin ka ma ba zaka gan mu ni da shi naked in bed ba in dai ba leken mu zaka je kayi ba, maybe dai kan mu holding hands a hanya, which I guess won't hurt you much tunda a lokacin babu aure a tsakanin mu kuma ba farka na bane ba aure na yake yi, ka ga kai ka ji dadi ba kamar ni ba da naga abubuwan da na gani a lokacin da muke da igiyar aure a tsakanin mu....."

Yace "shut up! Just shut up" 

Nace "why? Dan na fadi gaskiya? Ina yi maka fatan alkhairi Umarul Faruq, ina yi maka fatan samun haske a rayuwar ka, kuma na gode maka sosai da kazo ka sanar da ni cewa komai ya daidaita a gida yanzu zan iya komawa. Now I can finally switch on my phone and call Abba in gaya masa inda nake yazo yayi musu godiya ya dauke ni"

Yace "Jidda! You are not understanding are you? You are thinking with your heart kuma your heart is still hurting, idan Abba ya zo ya dauke ki ba zai mayar min da ke ba fa. Zai raba auren mu ne. Zai raba ki da ni ne. Do you understand?" 

Nace "of course na fahimta. Kuma ina tunani ne da kwakwalwa ta sabanin da da nake tunani da zuciyata. Tabbas na fahimci Abba zai raba ni da kai which is exactly why zan je gurinsa because that's what I want with all my heart. Rabuwa da kai. Allah ya bawa Baba lafiya and I wish you best of luck a sabon auren ka. Allah ya kawo kazantar daki"

Sai na kife wayar tun kafin ya ce komai. Sai kuma na jingina kaina da jikin bango tare da rufe idona ina jin hawayena yana zuba cikin rigata. 

"Mommy are you crying?" 

Naji muryar Yasmin a gefe na, nayi saurin goge hawayen fuskata da hannaye na biyu sannan na juya da sauri na bar gurin ita kuma ta biyo ni a baya tana cigaba da tambaya ta "mommy kuka kike yi? Waye ya saka ki kuka? Da wa kuke waya? Daddy ne? Daddy ne ya saka ki kuka? Mommy mai yace? Zai zo ya dauke mu yace?" 

Ban ce mata komai ba na dauko jakar da Diyam ta zubo mana kayan da ta siyo mana a ciki na fara zuba mana kayan mu a ciki, ta sake kama skirt dina "mommy tafiya zamu sake yi, gida zamu koma? Gurin Daddy zamu koma" na ajiye jakar na rike kafadar ta nace "Yasmin. Tafiya zamuyi. Amma ba gidan Daddy zamu koma ba gidan Abba zamu koma. A can zamu cigaba da zama. Daddy zai ke zuwa yana ganin ku kuma kuma zaku ke zuwa gidan sa da gidan Mama kuna ganin su. Amma ba zamu cigaba da zama a gidan sa ba. Kin fahimta?" Sai ta girgiza kai idonta yana cikowa da hawaye, "ni dai ban fahimta ba mommy. Ni ban gane ba. Ni nafi son mu koma gidan Daddy mu cigaba da zama a can tare da ke tare da Daddy" na sake ta na cigaba da ninke kaya ina saka wa a jakar "ba komai ne da kake so kake samu ba a rayuwa Yasmin, ba kuma komai ne da kake so yake zama alkhairi a gare ka ba" amma ni kaina nasan ba da ita nake maganar ba da kaina nake, ina kara karfafa wa kaina guiwar cigaba da bin hanyar da na dauka.

Diyam ta shigo dakin tana kallona tare da jakar kayan da take gaba na. Sai ta zauna akan side drawer tace da Yasmin "Yasmin share hawayen ki kinji, rabu da mommy, ki je falo maza kuyi wasa da Asad gashi can yana wasansa" Yasmin tayi kamar ba zata fita ba kuma sai ta fita. 

Diyam ta juyo tana kallona "tafiya zaki yi?" Na gyada mata kai ina jin babu dadi na fara hada kaya ba tare da munyi magana ba "gidan Umar zaki koma?" Ta sake tambayata, na juyo da sauri ina kallon ta "of course not. Me yasa kika yi tunanin zan koma gidan sa?" Tace "well, yazo, kunyi magana a waya, and you started crying kina hada kaya. Kuma nasan kina son sa. Me yasa ba zanyi tunanin kina shirin koma masa bane ba?".

Na danyi murmushin takaici nace "tabbas munyi magana da Umar kuma ya gaya min maganganun da suka taba zuciyata suka saka ni kuka. Amma hakan ba wai yana nufin cewa zan koma gidansa bane ba" na zauna ina wasa da hannuna "ya gaya min cewa gaskiya ta bayyana. I think Abba ya karanta sakon da na tura masa kuma ya yarda, har ya gaya wa Baban Umar, kuma sun gane abinda ya faru da Asabe. Jinin Baban Umar ya hau yanzu yana asibiti. Mutumin kirki ne dan tun da na sanshi wani abu bai taba hada mu ba face alkhairi. But now he is reaping abinda dansa ya shuka. Shine abinda ya saka ni kuka. Ba wai Umar ba. And yes, tabbas ina son Umar, amma bana jin son da nake yi masa ya kai kashi goma cikin darin wanda nayi masa a baya. Shima kuma goman nafi tunanin kyautatawar sa gare ni ce ta saka har yanzu yake zuciyata. Amma aurensa na gama kamar yadda na fada. Na gama auren Umar. Yanzu ne ma kuma na sake tabbatarwa kaina da cewa na gama din. Tun da nake gidan sa kullum addu'a ta itace Allah ya shirye shi, Allah ya gyara masa halin sa dan mu zauna lafiya, amma Umar bai shiryu ba sai cigaba da lalacewa da yake yi. Tun da na bar gidan sa kuma sai na koma yin addu'ar Allah ya zaba min mafi alkhairi a rayuwata, sai gashi cikin sauki al'amurra suna warwarewa toward rabuwar mu, meaning rabuwar mu itace alkhairi a gare ni. And I will not resist. Zan karbi rayuwa duk a yadda tazo min tare da fatan shine mafi alkhairi a gare ni" 

Nayi shiru ina tunani sannan na dora da cewa "ba wai na fitar da ran cewa Umar zai shiryu ba ne a'a shiriya ta Allah ce kuma shiryar sa tana hannun Allah. Amma Allah ba zai shiryar da shi ba har sai shi yayi nadamar abinda ya aikata ya daina aikatawa kuma yayi taubatun nasuha, a lokacin Allah zai yafe masa sannan ya shiryar da shi. No matter how much matan da mazajen su suke da hali irin na Umar suke san su shiryu, no matter how much they pray cewa su shiryu, ba zasu shiryu ba har sai su mazan sun yadda cewa laifi suke yi kuma sun tuba sun koma ga Allah, sannan Allah zai shiryar da su dan shine kadai zai iya shiryar da su ba wai matan su ba"

Diyam tayi ajjiyar zuciya tace "haka ne Jidda. Tabbas labarin ki wata aya ce da ya kamata matan da suka samu kansu a irin rayuwar ki su gane, is not their fault, ba laifin su bane ba dan haka duk gyaran da zasu yi mijin ba zai gyaru ba har sai shi mai laifin ya gyara da kansa. Yes, yin hakuri da yin addu'a da danne zuciya da karbar kaddara duk abubuwa ne masu kyau, amma hakan ba zai taba chanja miki al'amuran ki direct ba, ita kanta addu'a tana aiki ne based on actions dinka, misali ace talauci yana damunka babu cin yau babu na gobe shikenan sai kayi folding hannunka kayi da addu'a kana hakuri tare da daukan cewa talauci kaddarar ka ce? Shin ba zaka fita ka nema ba sai ka hada da addu'ar sai Allah ya albarkaci neman naka? Ko kuma wanda yake fama da cuta, shin zai zaune ne yayi ta addu'a tare da daukan cewa ciwon jarabawar sa ne ba zai fita ya nemi magani ba? Ina ganin neman mafita ba wai yana nufin baka dauki kaddara bane ba, ka ki yin addu'a kuma ka dage akan cewa lallai abu kaza kake so baka son kaza a ganina shine rashin daukan kaddara"

Nace "haka ne. Duk abinda kika fada haka ne. Allah yasa mu gane" tace "ameen. Yanzu gidan zaki tafi kenan?" Na dan yi shiru ina tunanin in kai kaina ne ko in barsu su zo inda nake da kansu? Kamar tasan tunanin da nake yi sai tace "ina ganin ki barsu su zo. Let them have the satisfaction of finding you. Whatever way am happy for you, naji miki dadin yadda abubuwa suke warware miki, haka Allah dama yake ikonsa. Trust him and He will find a way for you" na gyada kai, maganar ta tana tuno min da wani ironi da ya faru, na tuno sanda nake ta bin Umar ina rokon sa Allah da annabi yayi aure dan a lokacin ina ganin kamar aurensa zai iya sakawa ya gyaru amma sai ya shafa wa fuskar sa toka yaki, yace shi bai ga wadda tayi masa da har zai iya auren ta ba, sai gashi yanzu za'a hada shi aure da Asabe, Asabe for God's sake. 

Sai nayi murmushi na bawa Diyam labarin sabon auren da Umar zai yi, ina ambatar sunan wadda za'a aura masa sai ta kwashe da dariya har da faduwa kasa tana rike ciki, nima sai na samu kaina da darawa, but abinda nake da tabbaci shine Umar ba zai zauna da ita ba except if Baba yace zai tsine masa ko something like that, but either way I don't see auren Umar da Asabe a matsayin mafita ga Umar sai dai ko a matsayin sakayyar na yaruwar yaran da Umar ya bata.

But thinking about that also got me thinking. Rayuwar Umar da halayyar sa ba wai laifinsa bane ba shi kadai, it is equally laifin sa da na matan, cos I don't think ya taba raping wata banajin that will be his style cos he is a romantic guy not a rogue. Ba wai ina justifying actions din Umar da masu halayya irin ta sa ba amma ai karfe da ya baya amo, ko da sun sami yarinya da yaudara da kalaman cewa zasu aure ta she should be wise enough to say no, in dai har zasu aure tan su bari ayi auren mana. Those girls should blame themselves dan zunubin bana mazan bane su kadai ba equally za'a basu.

Diyam tace "wani tunani nake yi Jidda, ranar da kika bar gidan Umar kika je gidan ku Abba ya kore ki ki ka gudu, misali idan da ace ban kira ki a lokacin har na fahimci kina cikin problem nace ki taho nan ba, ya zakiyi?" 

Nayi shiru ina juya maganar, and I realized there may be matan da suka taba shiga irin problem dina kuma iyayen su irin nawa ne, Misali baban su mai tsatstsauran ra'ayi uwar kuma mai gudun abin da take gani as abin kunya, they may not be as lucky as me to have a friend that will take them in and support them, me zasu yi? Menene mafita a gare su?

Sai na girgiza kaina "ban sani ba Diyam, ban san menene zanyi ba a lokacin, maybe I could have ended up a gidan one of my relatives wanda kuma dole a karshe Abba zai mayar dani tare da yi min fadan da yafi wanda yayi min, ba zai bani listening ear ba, zai mayar da ni gidan Umar kuma yadda nake ji a raina a lokacin in aka mayar da ni gidan Umar komai zai iya faruwa, zan iya ji masa ciwo or worst"

Ta dawo ta zauna kusa dani ba tace komai ba sai ni na tambaye ta. "Menene kike ganin zan iya yi a lokacin? Menene shawarar ki ga mata iri na wanda basu samu wanda zai tsaya musu ba?" Tace "kin san na gaya miki cewa ina karantar law ko? Kuma nafi bada karfi a bangaren family laws haka da kuma kare hakkin mata, saboda I was once in a family crises shigen wanda kike ciki yanzu and I thought duk rashin sanin hakkoki na ne ya saka ma na sha duk wahalar da nasha. Wannan yasa nake karatu akai dan in samu license din da zanke tsayawa mata i a karbar musu hakkin su a duk lokacin da naga an take musu shi. Ban gama karatu ba yanzu so am still just a student ba ni da damar tsayawa a gaban judge haka. But still ina da dan sani akan abin, sannan wannan zuwan nawa Nigeria ina zuwa na fara bincike a kan cases din marital abuses haka da sauran su. Dan haka, if I am to give an advice ga macen da take ganin ta kai karshen limit din hakurin ta da zama da mijinta har tana gudun cigaba da zaman zai iya jawo wa wani mummunan abu kuma iyayenta sun ki shiga cikin maganar shine, ta shigar da hukuma ciki, in nace hukuma ina nufin tun daga mai unguwa ko dagaci har zuwa sarki, ko kuma ta kai kukan ta gurin malamai, musamman malamin da ta yarda dashi take ganin yasan abinda yake yi kuma yana da voice din da zai tsaya mata, ko kuma ta kai hisba board, wannan kamar wata kungiya ce ta gamayyar malamai da gwamnati ta dorawa hakkin kula da irin wadannan matsalolin, ko kuma a matsayin ta na yar kasa zata iya walking direct into any court, Shari'a court ko judicial, tace ta kawo karar mijinta tana so a raba auren su. She will be heard"

"Idan misali ace hisba board ta je, zasu saurare ta first su karbi statement dinta, sannan kuma zasu dauke ta su mayar da ita gidan iyayenta kuma su tilastawa iyayen su rike ta in suka kore ta za'a kama su tunda she is bound to them by law. Sannan za'a aikawa da mijinta sammaci cewa ana nemansa, sai yazo shi da waliyansa itama tazo da waliyanta sannan sai a zauna a saurare su. Kinga a haka, iyaye irin Abba will be forced to listen." 

"A haka za'a saurari matsalar, a saurari kowanne side idan akwai yiwuwar sulhu sai ayi musu, tunda shi addini dan nasiha ne, rabuwar aure shine last solution but sometimes it is the best solution. But meanwhile matar zata kasance a gidan su under the care of her parents, sai dai ko idan sulhun yayi nisa an fara shawo kan matsalar sai ace ta koma gidan mijinta da fatan zaman da zasu yi tare zai taimaka gurin sulhu a tsakanin su"

"Idan kuma sulhun yaki yiyuwa then the marriage will be dissolved. Either shi mijin ya sake ta ko kuma ta dawo masa da sadakin sa sai alkali ya sake ta. And then they will talk about the custody of the children, wanda yawanci yake tafiya hannun uwa kamar yadda addini ya tsara, ƴa mace uwarta zata rike ta har zuwa aurenta, namiji kuma har sai ya balaga sai ya zabi inda yake so, sai kuma a yankewa mijin abinda zai ke bata na ciyarwar ƴaƴan su dai dai da income dinsa"

"Wannan shine mostly abinda ake yi unless if ita uwar ceai problem kamar na rashin tarbiyya, yadda har ake tsoron in aka bata yayan tarbiyyar su zata gurbata kuma bata da uwar da zata rike on her behalf to sai a bawa uwar mijin su ta rike su"

"Dan haka mata suna da gata, gata mai yawa da addini yayi mana amma mu bamu sani ba, ko kuma mun sani mun zubar da shi a kasa su kuma maza sun take ta kanshi sun wuce"

Na girgiza kaina "da yawan mata ba hakan bane kadai, da yawan mata tsoro ne, tsoron abinda zasu tarar a gaba suke yi da kuma tsoron kallon da society zasu yi musu suke yi, tsoron kalmar bazawara suke yi, tsoron responsibility din da zasu kai gida suke yi. Iyaye da yawa responsibility din ne suke gudu shi yasa ba sa son yarinyar da suka aurar ta dawo gida da sunan zawarci"

Diyam tace "hakane, anan gabar ne kuma self dependency ya shigo ciki, ba wai ina nufin mace tayi zaman kanta ko kuma ina nufin mace ta zama bata bukatar namiji ko iyaye ta a rayuwar ta ba, a'a i a nufin mace ta kasance zata iya daukan nauyin kanta da ƴaƴanta, in terms of feeding da sauran daily bukatu. Idan har ba zaki zama liability a gidan ku ba su kansu iyayen ba zasu ƙi ki dawo gidan ba, ina nufin idan har marriage din ya kai breaking point. Idan kuma kin dawo din ba zaki zama liability ba, kannenki ba zasu raina ki ba, yayanki ba zasu wulakanta ba, shima kansa mijin da kuka rabu ba zai ke daga miki kai gurin kawo kudin feeding da yake kansa ba, sannan idan wani auren yazo miki wanda zai aure kin ba zai ke feeling cewa taimaka miki zaiyi ya aure ki ba rather sai dai taimaka wa juna zakuyi ke da shi."

"Ba wai ina nufin mace tayi kudi dole ba, ko kuma ina nufin in tanada sana'a ko aiki bata bukatar namiji ba, a'a, amma in tana da abin hannunta ta wuce wulakancin a gurin maza da matan baki daya. Dogaro da kai ba wai yana nufin lallai aikin gwamnati ba, ko kuma yana nufin lallai sai kina siyar da laces da atampopi ko kina order din dogayen riguna daga Dubai ba, akwai wadda na sani ta fara sana'a da 1k, ta siyo kayan hadin spices ta niƙa ta daddaura a leda take siyarwa naira 20 20, makota suka fara siya. Da yake ta kyautata a cikin sana'ar ta, tayi hadi mai kyau nan da nan a hankali sai gashi fa tara daurin hamsin hamsin tana kaiwa shagon unguwa ana siyar mata, daga nan sai zubawa a robobi, daga nan sai gata har da yin sticker da sunan ta tana likawa a robar, daga nan sai ta fara yi da yawa tana kaiwa stores ana siyarmata, sai tazo ta shigar da jan yaji da yajin daddawa, yajin tafarnuwa, yajin zogaye da sauransu. Wanny sana'ar ita ce a yanzu take rike da ita.

"Nasan wata mata kuma da take yi kunun aya. Ta fara yi ne tana daurawa a leda a bawa almajiri ya zagaya mata unguwa, a yanzu ta sanar min tana siyar da kunun aya a kullum musamman lokacin zafi na more than 30k, tasha tasha kasuwa kasuwa ake kai mata, har yara ta dauka aiki suke taimaka mata, da wannan kunun ayan da shi take rike kanta da yayanta"

"Misalai suna da yawa, na san ke ma kinsan wasu. Abin dai da nake nufi shine, if you can get aikin gwamnati, it is good, idan kuma sana'a zaki yi that is even better, amma idan zaki iya hada aikin gwamnati da kasuwanci that's even the best. As long as zaki tsare mutuncin ki zaki kiyaye dokokin ubangiji shikenan. Mu tuna, ko da babu mutuwar aure akwai mutuwa, naturally maza suna riga mata mutuwa, miji zai mutu ya bar ki da yaya, ya zakiyi kenan a lokacin?"

*Umar*

Tace "of course na fahimta. Kuma ina tunani ne da kwakwalwa ta sabanin da da nake tunani da zuciyata. Tabbas na fahimci Abba zai raba ni da kai which is exactly why zan je gurinsa because that's what I want with all my heart. Rabuwa da kai. Allah ya bawa Baba lafiya and I wish you best of luck a sabon auren ka. Allah ya kawo kazantar daki"

Daga nan ta kife wayar. Amma shi yasan ko da bata ajiye wayar ba baya jin zai iya kara yi mata magana ko da kalma daya ce. Maganganun ta sosai suka taba zuciyar shi fiye da yadda ita kanta da tayi su tayi tunanin zasu taba shi. Ya saki kan wayar ba tare da ya mayar gurin ajiye ta ba sannan ya juya yana tafiya duk kuwa da cewa baya ganin gabansa clear, yana jin mai gadin yana yi masa magana amma ya share shi bai juya ba dan idan ya juya zai iya kikkifa masa mari duk da babu abinda yayi masa.

Wani irin haushin Jidda yake ji, wai me take tunani ne? Ya san tana fadar abinda ta fada ne kawai dan ta bata masa rai amma yasan tana son sa, ya san kuma ba zata iya rayuwa babu shi ba kamar yadda shima ba zai iya rayuwa babu ita ba. Kuma zamanta a gidan nan ne ya jawo hakan, they are brainwashing her, suna gaggaya mata maganganu suna zuga ta suna nuna mata zata iya rabuwa da shi. Tabbas ko ba yau ba sai ya dauki mata ki akan mai gidan nan da matarsa. 

Sai da ya kai karshen layin a kafa sannan ya tuna cewa da mota yazo ashe, sannan ya juya ya koma kofar gidan ya shiga motar, a ransa yana tunanin maybe maganar da mai gadin yake yi masa dazu kenan. Yana cikin tafiya a hanya wayarsa tayi kara ya duba yaga waliyin Jidda ne ya sake kiransa, sai ya katse kiran ya kuma kashe wayar ya saka a cikin aljihun mota. Su je su neme ta da kansu shi ba zai kai su ba. Sai kuma ya tuna ta ce zata kunna wayar ta ta neme su da kanta.

Ya cigaba da driving, not knowing where to go or what to do.

*Farhan* 

Tana kwance a dakin ta, yau duk bata jin dadi, duk abubuwa sun cushe mata a kanta ta rasa madafa. Kuma ma yau zuciyarta duk babu dadi. 

Wayarta tayi kara ta dauka ta ga sunan wannan saurayin da ya karbi number dinta a gidan su kawar Jidda. Ta tabe baki, wannan shine kira da yayi mata na uku kenan tun sa da ya karbi number dinta. Kira na farko kin dauka tayi, kira na biyu kuma ta dauka amma ta nuna masa bata gane waye shi ba duk da cewa ta gane dan tayi saving number din tun sanda ya nemi tayi saving din. 

Tayi kamar ba zata dauka ba, sunanan irinsu da yawa suna damunta kusan kullum, shamarin shaho masu ado da walwali, masu daukan hankalin yammata da suke desperate for mijin aure a karshe kuma su jefa su a ramin da ba zasu iya fitowa daga ciki ba. 

Sai kuma ta dauka tare da sallama murya can ciki. 

"Salamu alaikum" 

"Ameen wa alaikumus salam gimbiya"

Ta juya idonta.

"Waye yake magana?" Yayi dan shiru ka dan, kamar ransa bai so abinda take masa ba yace "you still did not save my number, did you?" Tace "ai ban gane waye ba ma ballantana inyi saving, waye?" 

Yayi ajjiyar zuciya "okay. Mai nema ai ance baya zuciya ko? I called you yesterday and the day before that, sunana Sadiq, na karbi number din ki ne a hannun ki sanda kuka je gidan mu neman address din kawar ku Diyam. Kin gane ni yanzu? Though nayi wannan bayanin tun jiya"

Tace "ohhh okay. Nagane ka. Ya akayi?" Ya sake jin babu dadi, sannan yayi magana kamar mai hada kalmomin, daga dukkan alama bai saba ba "ammm dama address din nan dai dana tambayeki jiya shine dai zan sake tambaya yau. That's if it is okay with you. In kuma akwai damuwa just say so please so that we won't waste each other's time"

Tace "damuwa kamar yaya?" Yace "damuwa kamar banyi miki ba, tunda kin ganni, ni kinyi min ne shi yasa nake bibiyar ki, in banyi miki ba it is okay. Ko kuma maybe anyi miki miji a gida, ina ganin waɗannan sune kadai dalilan da zasu saka ki hana ni address din ki at the moment" 

Tace "ko kuma maybe ina gudun halin ku na maza ba?" Sai ya danyi dariya, relaxing a little. "Halin mu na maza kuma? Me muka yi? Allah sarki mu maza bayin Allah" tace "yaudara ma na da dadin baki, yawancin ku haka kuke" yace "nooo, kar ki bari wani mutum daya ko biyu su saka kiyi generalizing din mu. Kuma idan har lissafi za'a yi na gaskiya mazan da ake yaudara sun fi matan da ake yaudara yawa" 

Tace "sai dai in lissafin son zuciya za'a yi, dan ni I know a lot of matan da aka yaudara" yace "saboda ke macece ba, ni kuma I know a lot of mazan da aka yaudara" tace "da zaka tsaya mu tantance zaka fahimci ni ce da gaskiya" yace "da zaki bani address din da sai inzo mu tantance ido da ido" ta juya idonta "okay, zan turo maka. But mind you you will have to see my father first".

Tana ambatar father din taji shi ya kwalla mata kira, tayi saurin katse wayar ba tare da yi masa sallama ba sannan ta saka hijab din ta ta fita tsakar gida tana amsawa, daga sitting room ta jiyo muryar sa dan haka tayi can din, tana shiga ta tarar dashi da babban amininsa ne a zaune, gabanta ya fadi, shikenan cewa zasu yi sun fitar mata da miji tunda taki fitarwa. Ta durkusa ta gaishe su sannan ta rakube a gefe. 

Abba yace "ya akayi kika san mijin Jidda ya san inda take?" Sai ta basu labarin kiran da yace Yasmin tayi masa da kuma binciken da suka yi har suka samo address din Diyam. "Shi kadai yaje gidan ba tare da mu ba, dan haka bamu tabbatar ya same ta acan din ba ko a'a" ta karasa labarin nata. Abba ya miko hannunsa bani wayarki inga address din da aka turo. 

Ta fara inda inda, tana tunawa da maganar da take karshen address din "ammmmmm dama...... Abba, watooooo wayar......... Wayar tana daki bara in dauko" ta tashi da sauri ta fita suka bi ta da ido, da ta dauko wayar mata jima tana juyata a hannunta tana tunanin abinyi, in dai tayi editing zasu gane tunda zasu ga ba sending mata akayi ba kamar yadda ta fada, dan haka taje ta kai musu ta koma gefe tana sosa kai, Abba ya karanta sannan ya dago yana kallon ta, ta sunkuyar da kai waiting for ruwan fada ya fara zuba akanta amma sai taji yace "ki shirya ki je gidan, zaki iya ganewa?" Ta gyada kai, yace "ki je ki tabbatar tana can sannan ki ce mata in ji ni nace indai nine ubanta ta zo ina nemanta" ta sake gyada kai da sauri sai ya jefa mata wayarta tare da kudin mota.

*Jidda*

Cikin kankanin lokaci na gama hada mana kayan mu kaf, sannan na tafi gurin da yara suke wasa na zauna tare da su ina kallon Subay'a tana koyawa Yasmin karatu ina ta mamakin yaran yanzu da irin abubuwan da ake koya musu a school, wadansu abubuwan da suka sani a ni sai da na shiga secondary school na san su. 

Muna zaune Diyam tayi joining din mu itama tana correcting din su in sunyi mistake. A haka aka zo aka sanar wai anyi bakuwa kuma tace ni take nema. Muka kalli juna ni da Diyam, abubuwa da yawa suna zuwa min rai amma sai naji nafi zargin Mufida ce Umar ya turo. Sai na aika a tambayo wacece sai aka ce Farhan. Haka kawai naji wani dadi a raina, duk da bansan abinda zai biyo bayan zuwan nata ba amma tabbas nayi missing din ta da kuma dukkan sauran ya uwana. 

Tunda nace ta shigo na mike tsaye ina kallon hanyar da zata shigo din, inajin excitement da faduwar gaba a lokaci daya. Tana shigowa kuwa na tafi da gudu na rungume ta ina murna itama tana yi. Ta dago kai tana kallo na "ke ya naga kamar har kin fara cikowa ne, me suke baki a gidan ne?" Nayi murmushi "babu abinda suke bani sai kwanciyar hankali, bana fargabar me yake faruwa ko kuma menene zai faru, na riga na gama yanke shawara na mika dukkan lamura na ga Allah kuma zan bi dukkan abinda yace" tace "good for you. Mutumin ki yana can yana neman zaucewa" nayi murmushi kawai sannan na ja ta muka zauna "bani labari, ya kowa da kowa? Ya Abba?" Ta tabe baki Tace "shi ya turo ni, yace ko dai ki bini mu koma gida ko kuma ki sake wani uban" nayi murmushi "yana nan dai yadda yake kenan" tace "da dan sauki kadan, kwana biyun nan kamar baya fada sosai. Ki je kawai kiyi facing dinsa in yaso in daka ki zaiyi a turmi a tuka masa tuwo da garin ki sai yayi. Tunda dai you can't stay here forever ko?" 

Sai dai kuma bai daka ni a turmin ba bayan Diyam ta kaimu gida da kanta a motar ta, asali ma bai ce min komai ba sai key din dakin umma daya jefe ni dashi sannan yace "ki bude wayarki kuma ki kira uwarki, tana can ta tashi hankalin ta tana neman ki".

A ranar da dare na kunna wayar ta wa na kuma kira auncle Muhammad wanda ya rufe ni da fada kamar zai cinye ni danya, sannan daga karshe ya turo min number din da zan samu Umma. Ranar har kusan tsakiyar dare muna waya da mutane, daga wannan sai wancan, na tambayi yaya Tahir dalilin da yasa bai gayawa Umma da Abba ina turo masa message ba sai yace "yanzu ai gashi nan ta samu ta ga yauwanta" na tambayeshi yaushe zasu dawo sai yace "ni dai zam dawo cikin satin nan, ita kuma sai ranar da Baba ya turo mata kudin jirgi" ya karasa yana dariya, nayi murmushi kawai, wato yana sane so yake ya kai Umma gurin yanuwanta kuma ya bar ta acan ta kara hutawa ta huce daga masifar Abba da ta Hajiya.

Washegari tunda assuba Umar yake kirana, wato ya gwada layin yaji yana shiga, ban kashe wayar ba kuma ban yi blocking dinsa ba sai na bar wayar tana ta ringing amma sai na saka ta a silent dan kar karar ta ta dami yara na da suke bacci abinsu. Sai da nayi baccina mai dadi na farka sannan na dauki wayar naga 21 missed calls duk daga gurin sa. Sai kuma messages din da ko karanta su banyi ba na goge su dan nasan magana daya ce a ciki, inyi hakuri ya daina halinsa, ba zai iya rayuwa babu ni ba and other stuffs.

Na dauka gari yana wayewa zan ganshi a gidan amma sai naga bai zo ba har yamma, sai na daure na karanta some of his messages sai na fahimci Abba ne ba zai iya fuskanta ba shi yasa ya kasa zuwa gidan. But he wants to see me and the kids. 

A ranar ne na shiga har daki na gaishe da Hajiya, sai ta zauna a kusa dani fuskarta cike da damuwa. "Sannu Jidda. Munji dadi da Allah ya dawo mana da ke gida lafiya. Allah ya daidaita ya raba mu da mugun ji da mugun gani, rabuwa da miji irin Umar ai ba karamin mugun ji da mugun gani bane ba. Duk da dai bansan abinda ya hada ku ba har kika yanke shawarar shiga duniya"

Na yi shiru ina lissafin ta inda zan fara mata sai nace "au baki san abinda ya faru ba Hajiya?" Ta gyara zama "ban sani ba, Alhaji bai gaya min komai ba kinsan halinsa babu wanda yake jin cikinsa" nace "gaskiya ya kamata ace kin sani a matsayin ki na babba a gida, to bara ni in gaya miki tunda shi bai gaya miki ba duk da na riga na gaya masa, amma matsalar shine ban san ta inda zan fara baki labari ba, shin ta abinda aka binne min a kofar falo zan fara ko kuma ta abinda ya faru sakamakon binne abin da akayi? Ko kuma dai kawai in bar labarin har sai Mammy tazo sai ta baki shi kamar yadda ta bani har kuma nayi recoding a waya ta. Ko da yake ai kin sani ma, duk da dai ba dukkan abinda ya faru kika sani ba, kin san dai shukar da kuka yi amma baki san abinda kuka girbe ba"

Tamkar dutse haka ta koma a zaune. Sai ma mike da Asad a hannuna nace "Addu'a ita ce makami na a lokacin kuma still har yanzun ita ce. Bani da hakkkin ku dan haka komai kuka yi kanku zai koma, Mammy zata tabbatar miki da haka"

Daga haka na juya na fita, feeling so happy with myself. 

A ranar Aunty Afia ta zo gidan tare da Aira da Amira, sai dai ranta a bace yake da ni kuma bayan tace su Aira su bamu guri sai ta rufe ni da fada kamar yadda dama na riga na saka rai daga gareta. 

"Jidda kin san mata nawa ne kuwa suke zaune da mazan da suka fi naki muni? Kuma suke hakuri basu fita sun gudu ba? Shin hakuri dama ya taba karewa ne? Akwai wadanda mijin nasu yake da irin halin naki kuma babu soyayya babu kulawa babu ci da sha da sutura, kuma suna zaune. Akwai mata da yawa a yanxu da babu abinda ba zasu bayar ba dan su samu kansu a matsayin ki, me yasa ke ba zaki rike matsayin naki ba? In kika rabu da shi yanxu wa zaki aura kenan? Ko zaki yi ta zama ne babu aure?" 

Na sunkuyar da kaina ina jin ta amma ban bata amsa ba, dan bana jin zata fahimci amsar da zan bata. Wadannan matan da take magana akansu daban suke nima kuma daban nake. Rayuwar su daban tawa daban. Su sunga zasu iya ni kuma naga ba zan iya ba. Nayi iyakacin kokari na Allah ne shaida ta. Na fahimci cigaba da zama da Umar zai kaini ga halaka kuma is a very high risk to my children shi yasa nayi quiting. 

Allah ya gani kuma ya sani. Kuma kullum shi nake roko ya zaba min mafi alkhairi kuma na ajiye a raina duk abinda ya taho gare ni zan dauka da ikon Allah. Idan akwai sauran zama a tsakani na da Umar dole zan koma masa, amma ko zan koma din ina so ya fahimci cewa zan iya rayuwa babu shi, happily, ya fahimci cewa zan iya rabuwa da shi. Ya fahimci cewa ina da gata na, iyayena da hukuma zasu tsaya min su kwatar min yancina in har ya cigaba da abusing dina emotionally.

A haka na kwana hudu a gidan mu tun daga asabar har zuwa laraba, a ranar Alhamis din yaya Tahir ya dawo shi kadai kamar yadda dama yace shi kadai zai dawo. Ban san wanne hali Umar yake ciki ba, naso in je in duba Baba amma na kasa tambayar Abba shi kuma ya ki ce min komai, har yanzu yaki yi min maganar komai. Suma kuma a bangaren su babu wanda yazo gidan mu, ban sani ba ko sun san na dawo gida ko kuma basu sani ba Allah ne masani. A ranar Alhamis din ne Abba ya zo da yana tambayata "kina da isassun kudi a hannun ki wadanda zasu kaiki inda mahaifiyarki take?" Nayi shiru ina lissafi sannan nace "ba zasu ishe ni ni da yara ba" yace "ke kadai ai nace ba wai da yara ba. Yara ki hada musu kayansu zan kira ubansu yazo ya dauke su, bana son yake samun uzurin yi min sintiri a gida, saboda ina da yammata a cikin gidan nan" na sunkuyar da kaina ina fahimtar cewa Umar yana zuwa unguwar kenan kuma lallai Abba yayi fushi sosai da Umar. 

Amma kuma banason rabuwa da yayana, na sani a cikin zuciyata I will fight for my right to have their custody amma sai komai ya lafa tukunna, kuma yanzu zuwa gidan nasu yai dai dai dan suma yaran suna missing babansu kuma shima yana da right na ganin su da kuma zama da su. Kuma bani da matsala da Mama dan na san tana son su, sosai, ba zata cutar da su ba, amma hakan ba yana nufin zan bar mata su ba. 

Sannan naji dadin shawarar Abba na tura ni Ethiopia, at least zan samu in huta sosai away from all these. Kuma zan ga Umma. 

Sai ya cigaba da magana "na nemi takardar ki a hannun sa har yanzu yayi shiru, ina ganin mutuncin mahaifin sa shi yasa nayi shiru nima, amma zam ga iya kacin gudun ruwa sa" ya juya ya hau sama yana sake maimaita min maganar hada kayan yara. 

Sai naji ina mamakin yadda Abba ya sauko haka, wai har shine yau yake nemawa yarsa takarda a gurin mijinta, amma kuma sai nayi tunanin maganar Mammy ce ta taba shi sosai, har yake gudun haduwar Umar din da yammatan yayansa.

Na hada musu kayan nasu, suka saka ni a gaba da tambaya sai na gaya musu zasu je gidan Mama ne su zauna acan tare da daddyn su. Nan da nan sai murna har suna rungume ni suna kissing dina, sai kuma Yasmin ta fara tambayoyin nata "mommy ke kuma fa? Tare zamu tafi da ke?" Na jawo ta jikina ina shafa kanta ina jin kamar zanyi kuka nace "a'a Yasmin, ba tare zamu je ba, ni zanyi tafiya ne shi yasa za'a kai ku can din" 

Tace "in kin dawo kuma fa? Zamu koma gidan mu tare da ke da Daddy?" Na sunkuyar da kaina kasa, "ban sani ba Yasmin, ban sani ba, Allah ne kadai ya sani"

Har dare ba'a zo an dauke su ba. Na dauka Umar zai zo ya dauke su da gaggawa tunda na tabbatar ya matsu da son ganin su. Da safe ranar Alhamis Abba ya sauko ya fita waje sai gashi ya dawo yana fadan har yanzu Umar bai zo ya dauki yayansa ba, ya kira Farhan "ku dauki yaran nan ke da Amira ku je ku kai su gidan kakan su" 

A haka na rabu da yayana, su Farhan suka tafi dasu, basu dade sosai ba sai gasu sun dawo har sun kai su. Na tambayesu ko sun ga Baba suka ce Aunty ta kaisu har dakin sa sun gaishe shi kuma sun duba shi. Sun gaya min cewa jikinsa da sauki amma har yanzu ba shi da lafiya. 

Sai kuma suka bani labarin Mama "ko tambayar inda kike ma bata yi ba, kawai ta karbi jikokin ta har da cewa wai za'a duba musu school mai kyau, auntyn ce kawai ta tambaye mu ke tace kuma tana gaishe ki". Farhan ta matso kusa dani tace "ashe gobe za'a daura wa Umar aure? Auntyn ce take gaya mana amma kamar mamar ba ta so a gaya mana ba"

Sai kuma Amira tace "Yaya, ni dai ban san me ya hada ki da yaya Doctor ba amma ina tausayin sa Allah. Kin san kullum sai na ganshi a layin nan? Yanzu ma fa yana bakin layi a cikin mota a zaune, jiya ma na ganshi a gurin. Baki ga yadda ya zama ba. Kasumbar da ya tara ko? kamar za'a bashi loudspeaker ya fara wa'azi" 

Farhan ta kwashe da dariya. Ni kuma naji babu dadi har cikin raina. Wato zama yake yi bakin layi with hope cewa zan dauki wayarsa in fita gurinsa. 

Sai nayi deciding cewa gobe juma'a zan ganshi, zan ganshi one last time kafin in bar kasar. Sai dai daga ni har shi a lokacin bamu san abinda juma'ar zata zo mana dashi ba.

Ga masu son siya zasu iya turo kudin su #300 zuwa wannan account din

0779484494
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Sai su turo evidence of payment zuwa wannan number din ta hanyar WhatsApp
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Please banda kira, WhatsApp only


 *wannan littafin na siyarwa ne bisa amana, idan baki siya ba kar ki karanta, idan kuma kin siya kar kiyi sharing, in kika yi kin ci amana kuma ke da Allah*


*Black Friday 1*


 Ranar juma'a na tashi raina babu dadi, sai na saka hakan a matsayin rashin yayana a kusa dani dan na jima ban kwana na tashi babu su ba. Bayan na gama adduoi na sai kuma na dauka waya ta na nemo number din Umar na tura masa sako

"Ina son ganin anjima da karfe goma please, akwai maganar da nake so muyi" 

Na tura masa. Mintuna kadan kira ya shigo waya ta daga gare shi. Na tsaya ina jujjuya wayar a hannuna sannan na dauka na kai kunne na.

"Hello?" 

Sai da ya danyi shiru sannan yace "Jidda" na amsa "na'am. Barka da assuba" yayi shiru bai amsa ba nace "ya kwanan yara?" Sai yayi ajjiyar zuciya "dan yaran ki kika dauki kira na ko?" Na girgiza kai kamar yana kallo na sannan nace "ba dan su bane ba. Ai nasan ba lallai ne suna tare da kai ba. Ina so ne muyi magana in an jima" yace "a ina zamu hadu? Ki zo gidan ki zan je can nima" na sake girgiza kai na "ka zo nan gidan" yace "Abba ba zai barni in shigo ba. Ki ce masa zaki je gidan Aunty Afia sai muyi waya in dauke ki a hanya" na danyi guntun murmushi, Umar will never change, wato nima irin na yammatan zaiyi min kenan. 

Nace "Abba zai fita anjima, duk Friday yana zuwa wayon ziyarar yanuwa da abokai. Around 10 yake fita, you come after 10. Akwai maganar da nake so muyi ne kuma bana so muyi a waya.
 Zaka zo? Yace "okay zan zo. Amma please....." Nace "okay sai kazo" sannan na zare wayar daga kunnena na kashe ta.

Bacci na koma na cigaba da yin abina tunda bani da wani nauyi, sai after nine na tashi na tarar Amira har ta gama hada mana breakfast ta kuma gyara dakin Umma, ta tashi naci abinci na na shiga nayi wanka ina shiryawa naji fitowar Abba, ya leko falon Umma yana magana ba tare da ya amsa mana gaisuwar da muke mika masa ba "Tahir zai shigo an jima, sai kuyi maganar tafiyar ki da shi, shi yayi musu shirin tafiyar sanda zasuyi da Aysha" nace "to Abba" sai ya fita yana cewa da Hajiya da take tsakar gida "yau ba zan dawo da wuri ba, ina jin sao magrib, da akwai inda zamu je da Alhaji Aminu" yana fita na sauke ajjiyar zuciya tare da bawa Amira umarnin ta gyara min sitting room. 

Tana cikin gyaran wayata tayi kara, na daga naga sunan Umar sai na zauna ina embracing kaina, do I have to really see him? Abinda zan gaya masan is it really worth risking Abba yazo ya tarar da mu tare? But na riga na kira wo shi, wata zuciyar ta gaya min in kira shi ince na fasa fitowa amma dai sai na mike bayan doguwar addu'a na saka hijab dina na fita.

Suna zaune a sitting room din shi da Amira, ban san maganar da suke yi ba. Sai na lissafa a raina idan Abba ya shigo ya gansu a haka, shi da yace baya son Umar a kofar gidan sa saboda yana da yammata to me zai faru idan ya ga Umar din a zaune tare da daya daga cikin yammatan nasa?

Abu na farko da na fara lura dashi a jikin Umar shine ramar da yayi, dan ma shi mutum ne mai fadin kashi dan haka jikinsa bai nuna ramar sosai ba sai fuskarsa ce ta nuna, idonsa ne ya nuna, ban sani ba kuma ko ramar ce ko kuma gashin daya tara a fuskar ne ya saka fuskar ta chanja idon ya fada ciki? Ya mike tsaye yana kallona, and I realized tunda muka yi aure this is the longest da muka yi ba mu ga juna ba. Amira ta mike ta dauki tsintsiyar da taje yin shara da ita sannan tayi mana sallama, babu wanda ya amsa mata a tsakanin mu. 

Sai da ta fita sannan ya taho da sauri zuwa inda nake da niyyar rungume ni, amma sai ya rike hannun nawa ya juyasu bayana sannan ya jani zuwa kirjin ya rungume tare da sauke ajjiyar zuciya. Tsoro ya kamani, idan Baba ko wani a brothers dina ya shigo na kade har ganye na, sai na tura shi baya cikin tsoro nace "Umar menene haka kake yi wai? I didn't call you for hugs I called you for talks, idan kuma ka sake kokarin runguma ta Allah zan shiga gida kuma ba zamuyi maganar ba" sai ya daga hannu sama, "shikenan, no hugs, I get it" sannan na nuna masa kujera "ka zauna dan Allah. Magana zamuyi dan Allah" amma still bai ji magiya ta ba sai ya rike hannuna sannan ya dora hannun nawa a fuskarsa tare da sauke ajjiyar zuciya. 

Sannan ya ja hannun nawa daga fuskar sa zuwa kirjin sa ya dora akan saitin zuciyarsa ya lumshe ido sannan yace 

"what have you done to us?" 

Na karbe hannuna tare da goge shi a jikin rigata ina jin haushin maganar sa tare da nadamar kiransa ma da nayi sannan nace 

"still the same Umar dana sani. Blaming anyone but himself. Ni kake blaming kenan? I guess ni ce nake bin maza ciki har Bashir abokin ka da ma'aruf din yaya Mubaraka nephew dinka, a karshe kuma naje dakin mai gadi na danne shi sanda baka nan" 

Yayi taku biyu baya sannan ya dafe kansa, "God of mercy. Jidda wai me kike so inyi ne? Me kike so in ce miki ne? Have you being reading your messages ma kuwa? Sau nawa zan ce miki na daina ne wai, sau nawa zan rantse miki ban taba yarinyar can ba? Do you have any idea what I have been through? What I am going through right now? Kina tunanin after all that has happened zan sake wani abin kuma? Me kike so inyi ne wai? In durkusa kasa in baki hakuri ince na daina?"

Sai kawai naji hawaye sun taru a idona, I thought abubuwan da suka faru din sun chanja shi amma ashe dai shi din ne dai har yanzu. 

Sai na ja jikina daga kusa dashi na zauna akan kujera sannan nace "abinda nake so Umar doesn't matter, abinda nake so kayi doesn't matter, what matters is abinda Allah yake so kuma abinda Allah yake so kayi. Wannan shine kuskuren ka wannan shine dalilin da yasa har yanzu ka kasa dainawa duk da cewa kana kokarin ganin ka daina din. Saboda kana kokarin dainawa ne saboda ni, ba wai dan saboda Allah ba. Kana kokarin ka farantamin ne ba wai dan ka farantawa Allah ba. A duk lokacin da mukayi rigima kana yin nadama ka shiga damuwa, amma ba wai nadamar aikata sabo kake yi ba kana yin nadamar na kama ka ka aikata sabo. Tabbas Umar kana yi min laifi, laifin cin amana, karya, yaudara, da kuma zubar min da mutunci na da kake yi, amma babban wanda kake yi wa laifi shi ne Allah. Dokokin sa kake karyawa, iyakokin sa kake ketare wa. Maganganun sa kake takewa. Shi yace kar a kusanci zina amma kai kuma rungumar ta kake yi duk inda ka ganta" 

Ya juyo da sauri zuwa gaba naya durkusa a kasa ya rike hannuna, nima sai na sauko daga kan kujerar muka durkusa tare "Jidda. Ba haka bane ba. You know me. Na gaya miki it was an addition, jarabawa ta ce, kuma yanzu na gama cin ta, na gama Jidda, me yasa ba zaki fahimta ba wai? Babu bawan da Allah baya jarabtar sa komai karfin imaninsa ko rashin imanin sa, ni tawa haka ce, kuma ina fighting inga na ci ta and we can do it together idan muna tare. In kika barni....." 

Na dakatar da shi da cewa "na yarda jarabawa ce, na yarda ranar farko daka fara yi jarabawa ce, Allah ya dandana maka zakin ta dan yaga yadda zaka yi da ita ya gani ko imaninka ya kai zaka iya over coming abin ko kuma a'a, it was an exam and you failed woefully. And you continue to fail tunda har kake jingina shiriyar ka da ni. Umar *only God can change you* ni ba zan iya chanja ka ba, zamana da kai ba zai chanja kaba, rabuwa ta da kai ma ba zata chanja ka ba, kai ne zakayi deciding cewa zaka daina and set your mind to it ka kalli gabas ka gaya wa Allah cewa ka tuba kuma kana so ka daina and mean it har cikin zuciyarka dan zuciya ubangiji yake kalla ba wai furucin baki ba. If you do that then sauran kuma tsakanin ka da shi ne, shi algafur ne kuma alrahim, idan kayu taubatun nasuha zai yafe maka kuma ya dora ka akan tafarkin tsira. But without that, no matter how much you tell your self or me or Mama cewa ka daina ba zaka sake ba you won't. Saboda ba daga zuciyarka kake fadar abin ba saboda a zuciyarka ka riga ka saka cewa you are addicted to it, shedan yana cigaba da gaya maka you can't resist the urge, zuciyarka tana gaya maka wannan ne na karshe daga wannan shikenan. And then it goes on kowanne kana ganin cewa shine na ƙarshe amma wanne ne zai zama na karshen? A kowanne second ubangiji yana iya daukan ranka shin ka taba tunanin abinda zaka tarar acan? Ba abu mai kyau bane ba Umar, ni da kai mun sani. You are a good man I know, a good husband and a good father but you are not a good muslim. Which is abinda ya kamata ya fara zuwa a farko kafin sauran characteristics su biyo baya. Ko nayi maka maganar addini you will pretend to me cewa ka gyara bayan in reality ba ka gyara din ba, bayan ni da kai munsan cewa ba ni zaka gyarawa ba kan ka zaga gyarawa saboda kabarin ka daban nawa daban, littafin ka daban nawa badan. Ni yanzu nawa littafin nake kokarin gyarawa shi yasa na bar gidan ka, saboda zama a gidan ka zai gurbata min dan abinda nake tanadar wa kaina saboda ranar gobe kiyama"

 Yace "duk naji kuma duk na yarda da dukkan maganganun da kika fada, kuma dan dai ba zaki yarda bane ba amma ina tabbatar miki da cewa kusan duk abinda kika fada abinda nake kokarin yi kenan a yanzu. Abinda kawai ban fahimta da maganar ki ba itace da kika ce wai cigaba da zama da ni zai bata miki ibadun ki. How? Jidda shi auren nan fa gabaki dayan sa ibada ne, ibada nake yi ibada kike yi kema. Me yasa ba zaki zo mu nemi aljannar mu tare ba?" 

Nace "yes, aure ibada ne, shi yasa in akayi dai dai sai a samu lada in kuma akayi akasin haka sai a samu alhaki. Ni turbar da na ke bi a zamana da kai ba ta samun lada bace ba ta samun alhaki ce Umar" yace "ta yaya?"  You have being nothing but good to me. In ma akwai wani abu da kika yi ni na yafe miki Jidda, sai menene kuma? Shin ba kya ganin cewa kema taki jarabawar kenan? Kema aure na shine naki jarabawar?" Ya sunkuyar da kaina ina wasa da yatsun hannuna nace "haka ne, tabbas auren ka shine jarabawa ta Umar" sai ya saka hannunsa biyu ya rike fuskata "then come back to me. Ki dawo mu hadu muci jarabawowin mu tare"

Sai na dora hannayena akan nasa da suke rike da fuska ta ina jin yadda yatsunsa suka sirance fiye da yadda na san su. Idona cikin nasa, a hankali Nace 

*"You don't get it, do you? Ba wai zama da kai shine cin jarabawa ta ba rabuwa da kai ne"*

 Nan take yanayin fuskarsa ya chanja, kamar wanda aka kwadawa mari, na cigaba da cewa "Allah yasan yadda nake son ka Umarul Faruq, shi yasa ya bani kai a matsayin miji kuma ya sa ka kasance da halin ka. Dan ya gani ko zan bi hanyar dai dai in rabu da kai ko kuma zan bi son zuciyata in cigaba da zama da kai" 

Sai ya karbe hannun sa daga cikin nawa sannan ya mike kamar wanda aka yi wa allura yace "nooo. You are messing up the whole thing. In aka jarabci mutum hakuri yake yi akan jarabawar sa har a karshe ya samu abinda yake bukata. Wannan shine cikakken imani"

Na mike tsayen nima sannan nace "ni a fahimta ta, ita jarabawa tana iya zuwarwa mutum ta kowacce siga, zata iya zuwa a sigar abu mai kyau ko akasin haka. Misali. Za'a iya jarabtar mutum da kyau ko da dukiya ko da mulki, ko da fame, ko da ilimi, ko da wata baiwa ta musamman dan aga ya zaiyi da ita. Ko kuma a jarabce shi da muni, ko da talauci ko da kaskanci, ko da cuta, ko da wata musiba dan aga yadda zaiyi shima. Yadda ake cin jarabawa kuma shine sai mutum yayi kokarin bin hanyar Allah da Manzonsa a cikin jarabawarsa. Idan talauci ne sai mutum ya guji sata ko wani abu da zai kawo masa haram duk kuwa da halin talaucin da yake ciki, idan arziki ne sai mutum ya fitar da zakka, yake sadaka yana taimakawa addini da dukiyar, haka dai. Ba wai yayi hakuri da halin da yake ciki shine cin jarabawarsa ba"

"A case dina kuma. Allah da kansa ya fada a cikin Alqur'ani A cikin suratun Nur, Aya na 3, Allah SWT yana cewa:

الزَّانِي لَا يَنكِحُ إِلَّا زَانِيَةً أَوْ مُشْرِكَةً وَالزَّانِيَةُ لَا يَنكِحُهَا إِلَّا زَانٍ أَوْ مُشْرِكٌ ۚ وَحُرِّمَ ذَٰلِكَ عَلَى الْمُؤْمِنِينَ.

*Mazinaci ba ya aure face da mazinaciya ko mushirika, kuma mazinaciya babu mai aurenta face mazinaci ko mushiriki. Kuma an haramta wannan a kan muminai*

*An haramta wannan akan muminai* wannan ita ce ayar da malamai da alkalai da yawa suke amfani da ita wajen raba aure idan daya daga cikin ma'auratan ka kasance mazinaci. Umar ubangiji da kansa yace ya haramta min ni da nake ba mazinaciya ba zama da kai da kake mazinaci, umar gaya min wani abu da yake sama da ayar ubangiji? Gaya min ta yadda in naki bin wannan ayar bayan na santa kuma bayan na tabbatar kuma kai da kanka ka tabbatar min da halayyar ka ta yadda zan yi wa ubangiji bayanin a ranar lahira, Gaya min idan rabuwa da kai ba shine cin jarabawa ta ba. Gaya min idan cigaba da zama da kai ba son zuciyata ba ne ba"

Na fada ina kuka sosai. Sai ya dawo zuwa gabana ya tsaya, expression din fuskar sa unreadable, yace "menene dalilin da yasa kika kira ni? Idan har kin yanke wannan shawarar menene dalilin da yasa kika kira ni har kika bari na ganki na taba ki na kuma saka ran cewa zamu dai dai ta?" 

Nayi shiru ina kallon sa cikin mamaki, yana nufin bai amince da ayar dana kawo masa ba ne ko kuwa menene? Na share hawayena nace "I called you to say goodbye. Zan yi tafiya zuwa Ethiopia kuma bansan sanda zan dawo ba. Abba yace zai baka lokaci ka rubuta takarda ka bashi, in kuma baka rubuta ba zai......."  "Zai kaini court" ya karasa "the same threat each and every day har na haddace. Now I have a question for you. Kina tunanin you can just walk out of this marriage and live happily ever after?" Nace "not happily ever after, dan mumuni baya rabuwa da jarabawa har sai an zare ransa daga jikin sa. But yes, I can live happily, and you can too in dai ka..." 

Ya tura ni baya da karfi har na fada kan kujera, yace "haka kika ce? Haka kike tunani? That you can live happy without me? Kina ganin ni kamar ba zan iya rayuwa ba sai dake ko? Here is a news flash for you, I will live happily without you too. Ba dai kina ganin zaki sake aure ba? To karkarin ta dai daya zaki aura ni kuwa hudu zan aura kuma duk wadanda suka fiki komai wadanda kuma zasu zauna dani suyi hakuri dani komai halina. Ko kina ganin idan kin rabu dani ne zan daina abinda nake yi? Ba dai takarda ba? Kar ki damu zan aiko miki da ita kafin ma ki tafi din in yaso ki tafi da ita a matsayin guzuri"

 Sannan without another look at me ya dauki key din motarsa da yake kan kujera ya juya zai bar falon, na bishi da sauri na rike hannunsa a bakin kofa "Umar, kar ka fita like this, ka tsaya ka nutsu...    " Sai ya zare hannunsa daga cikin nawa ya juyo yana kallo na, yana yin idonsa yana tsorata ni sannan yace "goodbye Hauwa'u".

Na daske a gurin har naji karar bude kofar motarsa da rufewa, sannan naji ya ja motar a guje, na daga labule ina lekensa sai na ga ya hau titi da gudu ba tare da ko signal ya saka ba ballantana ya jira motocin da suke wuce wa su gama wucewa.

Na lumshe idona na tare da ambatar innalillahi wa inna ilaihir rajiun. Abinda na kira Umar dan shi ban samu nayi achieving dinsa ba, I thought he will understand, yana da ilimi ba jahili bane ba, I thought inna gaya masa ayar Allah zai fahimci hujja ta kuma zuciyar sa zata yi sanyi ya nutsu ya daina wannan damuwar akan rabuwa dani yayi concentrating akan cin tasa jarabawar nima ya barni nayi concentrating on mine. In da rabon zamu koma watarana idan ya gyara rayuwarsa, maybe, in haka Allah ya tsara, sai mu koma din.

But definitely not now. Kuma ba nan kusa ba.

Na zauna bakin kujera tare da sauke ajjiyar zuciya, at least dai Abba bai kama mu ba.

Sai kuma nayi wani tunani cikin jin tsoro, tunda har Umar yaki tsayawa ya saurari maganar Allah, to me zai saurara kuma?

*Umar*

Tukin motar kawai yake yi blindly.  Ransa a matukar bace, shin wai me yarinyar nan ta dauki kanta ne da har zata kira shi da mazinaci ita kuma mumina? Tana ganin she is too holy for him har tana cewa zama da shi zai kaita ga halaka wato shine halakar ko? Bayan duk abinda yayi saboda ita? Bayan duk abinda yake kan yi saboda ita? To hell with her then. 

Zai tabbatar mata dacewa ita din ba kowa bace ba face just a passing episode in his life and he will do just fine without her, watarana zata juyo ta kalle shi tayi nadamar abinda tayi masa. 

Zuciyarsa ta gaya masa cewa But first dole yayi proving to himself cewa zai iya rayuwar ba tare da ita ba. Kafin daga baya yayi proving to her. 

Automatically hannun sa ya sauka akan wayar sa ya dauko ta yana neman wata number, number din  wata yarinya ce da aka hada su da ita gab da tafiyar  Jidda kuma tun daga lokacin bai kuma bi ta kanta ba sai yau. 

Babu bata lokaci ta dauka "lallai yau wannan jumaar tawa ce, tunda har doctor Faruq ya tuna dani kuma ya kira ni" 

Ya danyi gyaran murya yace "ko kuma ni ince jumaar tawa ce tunda har kika dauki kira na" 

Tayi dariya cikin jan hankali tace "da can ma da ka kira zan dauka, ba ka kira ba shi yasa ban dauka ba" yace "to yanxu ai gani na kira ko? Kaina bisa wuyana ina kuma bada hakurin rashin kira" tace "to anyi hakurin. No ai ba zan iya fushi da kai ba" yace "ko? Show me sai in tabbatar" ta sake dariya "Kana tantama ne? Just tell me when and where ni kuma zan tabbatar maka" yace "now" tace "yanzu yanzu? Da urgency haka?" Yace "sai kin zo ma sannan zaki san girman urgency din" cikin sigar hillata tace "how big" yace "very, come and see"

Tace "can't wait. Kazo ka dauke ni in the next 30 minutes, I will get ready for the big urgency" 

Ya juya motar da zuwa hanyar gidan su, few minutes ya kai shi unguwar ya samu inuwa yayi packing ya gyara kujerar sa ya kishingida yana jiran ta gama shiryawa ta fito. Yasan shirin da take nufi ba zai wuce shaye shayen magunguna irin nasu ba, to get herself in the mood, amma shi har yanzu baya jin sa in the mood and that hurts him. 

Ya dauko wayarsa ya shiga internet ya fara neman abinda zai saka shi in the mood din. Bai jima sosai ba ta shigo tayi kwalliya sosai irin tasu ta matan bariki. Kamshin da take yi kawai da kuma kallon da take yi masa ya saka yaji ya fara samun mood din da yake bukata, ya takarkare ya jefa mata his best smile tare da cewa "you look good, really good" ta juya idonta tace "kai ma haka" sannan ta dora hannunta akan cinyarsa can sama sama ta dan matsa da salo irin nata tace "shall we? Na matsu inga iyakacin matsuwarka".

Bayan mintina kadan suka je gidan gonar su Dr Bashir. A lokacin masallatan juma'a suna kokarin fara huduba. Yayi horn mai gadin ya leko cikin shirin tafiya masallaci sannan sai ya koma ya bude masa ya shiga da motar ciki, gidan gonar katon gaske ne mai cike da dabbobi kala kala, daga side daya kuma na gidan anyi gini wanda baban Dr Bashir yayi a matsayin gidan saukar bakin sa amma kuma sai dan nasa shi da abokinsa suka mayar da gurin gidan saukar nasu bakin tun bayan auren Umar, da a gidan Umar din suke aikata duk taasar su, bayan yayi aure kuma shine suka dawo nan saboda seclusion na gurin da kuma kasancewar babu kowa a gurin sai mai gadi da masu kula da dabbobin wadanda ba ko da yaushe ne ma suke zama ba. Gidan bakin dan karami ne, madaidaicin falo ne da kuma ɗakunan guda biyu masu dauke da toilets a ciki. 

Umar yana shiga sai ya zagaya da motar sa bayan building din yayi packing din ta a kasan wata bishiya, in da kullum idan yazo dama anan yake packing saboda tsaro, baya son ya bar motarsa a inda tsautsayi zai iya sakawa  wani ya gani. 

Ya fita da sauri ya zagaya gaban building din yana kwallawa mai gadi kira, mai gadin ya taho da sauri ya miko masa key din dakunan dan yasan su yake tambaya, Umar ya karba ya juya ba tare da yace masa komai ba ya bude kofar gidan ya shiga yarinyar ta sa ta bishi a baya cikin karairaya. Maigadin ya bisu da kallo cikin takaici sannan ya girgiza kai tare da karanto addu'ar neman tsari daga shaidan a zuciyarsa. 

Sai da suka shiga suka turo kofa sannan ya juya yana kallon gate din, Dr Bashir ya kira shi dazu ya ja masa kunne akan kar ya sake ya tafi wani gurin dan zai zo anjima, kar yazo ya tarar baya nan, shi kuma gashi yana son zuwa masallaci, yasan dai abinda zai kawo shi ba komai bane ba face irin abinda ya kawo abokin sa, dan sun saba dama zuwa wani lokacin ma sukan zo tare, dan haka yasan abinda Bashir din zai nema a gurinsa ba zai wuce bude gate ba da kuma mukullin dakunan aikata alfashar tasu, dan haka sai ya dauki sallayar sa ya fita ya dan tura gate din kadan amma bai rufe ba yadda ko Bashir din yazo kafin ya dawo daga masallaci zai iya budewa da kansa, cikin kuma dama abokinsa yana nan dan haka a bude yake.

 *Mama*

Tun ranar Alhamis da Farhan da Amira suka kai mata su Yasmin take jin babu dadi, tabbas taji dadin ganin jikokin ta wadanda girman kai ya hana ta zuwa ta gansu tun da taji cewa sun dawo gida tare da Jidda. Haushin Jidda take ji sosai a ranta tana ganin cewa kusan dukkan abinda yake faruwa da ɗan ta a yanzu laifin Jidda ne, me yasa a matsayin ta na mace ba zata zauna ta rufe sirrin mijinta ba? Bayan laifin ma Umar yayi rantsuwa cewa bai kai ga aikatawa ba amma zata tashi hankalin ta ta kwashi yaya ta shiga duniya bayan akwai mazan da suke yin abinda ya ninka na Umar muni kuma matan su haka suke hakuri da su suna zaman aure suna rufe sirrin su ko dan yayan da suke tsakanin su. Amma ita Jidda da yake shafaffiya da mai ce ba za ta yi haka ba, ta gwammace ta yi ta yawo tana barbadawa duniya labarin abinda Umar yayi da kuma ma wanda bai yi ba. Gashi yanzu a sanadiyyar hakan har ciwo ya kama Baban sa yana kwance, ga wannan tsinannen auren da Baban yayi rantsuwa akan sai ya makala wa Umar, wai Umar din ta ne za'a aurawa yar mai gadi? Wannan wacce irin masifa ce? Kuma ma ba wannan ba, abinda yafi kona mata rai shine yadda alhajin ya dora kishiyar ya akan dukkan abinda ya shafi sabon auren da yake neman yiwa Umar din, ta kuma tabbatar da cewa ya gaya mata duk abinda ya faru da kuma dalilin yin auren dan ita ya saka ta kai yarinyar asibiti ma wai a duba ko an yi amfani da ita, amma kamar yadda Umar din ya fada ai ba za'a gane waye yayi amfani da itan ba. Sai dai kuma babu hujjar da zata nuna cewa ba Umar din bane ba. Bakin cikin ta shine yanzu ita auntyn zata yi ta yamididi da zancen a cikin dangi da kuma cikin dukkan wadanda tasan sun san Umar kuma suna ganin mutuncin sa.

Sai dai in tasan wata ai bata san wata ba. Ita tasan ko da ace Umar yana aikata abinda Jidda take cewa yana yi to kuwa tabbas a cikin biyu akwai daya, ko dai akai aljanun da suke saka shi yi ko kuma asiri akayi masa, in kuwa asiri ne to tabbas auntyn ce tayi shi dan in banda ita bata ga wanda yake da motive na yi wa Umar asiri ba bayan ita auntyn, ko dan daukakar da yake samu da kuma soyayyar mahaifin sa gare shi.

Ana kawo mata yaran bayan ta rungume su cikin jin dadi sai ta saka aka mai musu kayansu dakin ta, ta kuma kira Umar a waya ta sanar dashi lallai yazo ya saka a gyara musu tsohon dakin Muhsina kuma ya siyo musu duk abubuwan bukata dan sun dawo kenan. 

Aunty tana jinta tace "na dauka sun zo su gan mu ne kawai? Na dauka zasu koma gidan su idan Allah ya taimaka an daidaita maman su ta dawo dakin ta?" Sai Maman tayi shiru bata ce komai ba, amma ita a ranta in da son samu ne tafi son Umar ya cire Jidda a ransa dan ba matar zama bace ba tunda ita ba matar rufin asiri bace ba, in komai ya lafa ita zata nema masa mace ta gari ya aura wadda zata kare masa mutuncin sa da martabar sa a duk inda yake. 

Amma kuma sai taji tausayin Umar din sanda ya shigo gidan ya rungume ƴaƴan na sa kamar zai mayar da su cikin sa, suma suna ta murnar ganin sa Yasmin har da hawayenta sannan suka yi ta bashi labarin inda suka je da abubuwan da suka faru. Kalma daya biyu zasu fadi mommy, idan mommy tazo, in muka dauko mommy daga gidan Abba, shima kuma Umar din haka "me mommy tayi?" "Mai mommy tace?" Duk shine hirar tasu. Tabbas in zasu cire ta daga ransu ma ba da sauki ba.

Daga nan ya dauki yaran suka fice, basu dawo gidan ba sai dare, da ta tuna masa maganar gyaran dakin da zasu zauna sai yace "Mama su zauna a dakin ki mana for the time being, in Jidda ta dawo ai zasu koma gida ne" bai jira abinda zata ce ba ya fice. 

A ranar a dakin ta ta shirya su suka kwanta, addu'ar  Yasmin ta bacci ita ce "Allah Allah Allah ka sa gobe muje da Daddy mu dauko Mommy mu koma gida" sai ta shafa ta kwanta ta juya baya. 

Asad kuma ya tashi zaune ya fara jera wa Mama tambayoyi 

"Mama anan dakin zamu kwana?"

"Eh" 

"A ina zamu kwanta? Akan dago ko a kan carpet?"

"Akan gado"

"Damu da wa zamu kwanta?" 

"Da kai da Yasmin"

"Daddy kuma fa?" 

"Ba'a nan zai kwanta ba"

"Mommy fa?"

"Itama ba anan zata kwana ba"

"To ke kuma fa? A ina zaki kwana?" 

Ta nuna kan carpet

Ya zaro ido "a'a ki hawo kan gado ki kwanta kar dodo ya zuro hannunsa ta kasan gado ya kamaki. Amma kuma in kika yi addu'a dodon ba zai zo ba, mommy tace idan mutum yayi addu'a dodo baya zuwa, kullum sai sunyi mana addu'a ita da Daddy ni da Yasmin in zamu yi bacci, mu biyu muke kwana a dakin mommy ita kuma mommy sai ta tafi dakin Daddy amma sai su bar kofa a bude saboda cikin dare in munji tsoro sai mu falfala da gudu mu shiga dakin su mu buya" 

Mama ta rufe baki tana dariya, "kai Asad ka fiya surutu ka kwanta kayi bacci" ya kwanta ya rufe idonsa "mommy tana karanta mana story sannan tayi mana addu'a kullum kafin muyi bacci" ta zauna a kusa dashi tana kallon sa, sosai yake tuna mata da yarintar Umar dinta, kamar su daya kuma surutun su daya.

 Sai data samu yayi bacci sannan yi fita ta tafi dakin Mufida tana so ta tuna mata da zancen bikin yar kawarta da akeyi gobe juma'a kuma tana so suje tare, dan mufidan ta tashi da wuri saboda in bata gaya mata ba zata makarar dasu da wannan shegen baccin safen nata da sai azahar take tashi. 

Dakin a bude yake, mufidan tana kwance a kan gado ruf da ciki da waya a kunnen ta ta juya bayan ta can daya side din tana magana kasa kasa yadda ita kanta Maman da ta shigo dakin badan yadda gari yayi tsit ba daba zata ji abinda take fada ba.

"Kayi hakuri, gobe insha Allah zan san dabarar da zanyi. Kasan dai halin da nake ciki a gidan nan" 

"Eh tace gobe zan raka ta wani event na wani biki, zan ce mata cikina yana ciwo ba zan je ba in ta tafi sai in fito"

"Okay in ta tafin zanyi maka waya kai ma ka fito. Around 12-1 zata fita"

Ta danyi dariya

"Babu wani wuni fa. Nasan na zata dade sosai ba Kasan saboda rashin lafiyar Baba lekawa kawai zata yi"

"So sharp sharp kawai please"

"Okay mu hadu a kofar gidan zoo"

"Can't wait to see you too"

Ta sake dariya.

Mama ta juya ta koma falo tana dafe bango tare da rike kirjinta. Menene wannan taji? Waye suke waya da Mufida? Akan me suke magana? Mai zasu yi in sun hadu? Saurayinta ne? Me yasa ba zai zo gida ya ganta ba har sai tayi karya ta saci jiki ta je sun hadu? 

Taji kamar ta koma dakin ta chakumi mufidan tayi ta dukan ta har sai ta gaya mata gaskiya amma kuma ta san cewa ba zata samu cikakkiyar gaskiyar daga haka ba, dan kusan shekara guda kenan Umar da kansa yazo gida ya kwakwkwada wa mufidan mari ya cevya ganta tana shiga motar wani, sannan ya saka mata takunkumin fita wanda ita Maman ta cigaba da ensuring, amma kuma har yanzu sun kasa gano kan mufidan ta kasa tsayar da hankalin ta guri daya ta fitar da mijin aure ga kuma kumbiya kumbiyar da take tayi wadda tafi kama da ta marasa gaskiya.

Sai maman ta ga kamar wannan chance ne nata na sanin gaskiyar halin da yar autar tata take ciki, na sanin waye wanda suka yi waya yanzu kuma menene hadin sa da Mufida da har take shirin yi mata karya dan ta hadu da shi. Bayan an bata damar yin saurayi da kuma kawo shi gida suyi zance.

Ranar bata samu baccin kirki ba tana tunani, zuwa safe ta yanke shawarar abinda zata yi. Shawarar kuma ita ce; zata bi Mufida a baya ta ga gurin wanda zata je da kuma abinda zata yi a can din.

 Ranar Friday din da safe bayan sun kammala komai na routine din gida, ya saka anyi wa yara wanka sai ga Umar nan ya shigo a gaggauce kamar mai sauri yana ta duba agogo, ta lura yau yayi wanka ya saka kaya masu kyau har Aunty ta a tsokanar sa 

"ango ka sha kamshi"

A tare suka watsa mata mugun kallo da shi da Mama, ita Mama ma har ta manta wai yau ne Baban yake da niyyar daura wa Umar aure dan ko maganar basu kuma yi da shi ba ballantana da Umar.

Briefly ya dan zauna da yaransa sannan kuma ya danci abincin da ta ajiye a gabansa ta matsa masa yaci kamar yadda take yi kullum tunda abin ya faru a matsayin ta na uwar da take son danta, kuma in dai bata yi masa haka din ba ba ci yake yi ba.

Yau ma bai fi loma uku yayi ba ya mike ya ce zai he je unguwa ya dawo. Ta lura kamar yau ransa da dadi sai ta fara tambayar kanta ko dai gurin Jidda zashi? Ko dai sun fara daidaitawa?

Bayan ya fita ne ta aika a taso Mufida tazo tayi breakfast ta shirya zasu fita unguwa amma sai ga sako daga mufidan cewa bata jin dadi cikinta ne yake yi mata ciwo, mama tayi shiru tana tabbatar da abinda taji jiya. Sai ta je ta shirya kamar mai fita unguwa tazo dakin Mufida tace "ki tashi ki ci abinci ki sha magani sai ki koma ki kwanta, ni zan leƙa gidan bikin"

Mufida ta dago kai tana kallon ta tare da yamutsa fuska tace "to Mama. A dawo lafiya" sai ta koma ta kwanta. Mama ta fita tare da jan kunnen su Yasmin akan kar su fita waje su yi zamansu suyi wasa ko kallo kafin ta dawo ko kuma daddyn su ya dawo, daga nan ta fita waje inda already driver yake cikin mota yana jiran ta suka fita aka rufe gate. Sai dai suna fita din sai tace da drivern ya shiga layin da yake facing din gidan su ya samu guri daga gefe yayi packing sannan ya taya ta duba gate din gidan su ya kuma gaya mata idan Mufida ta fito. 

Basu wuce minti talatin ba mufidan ta fito taci kwalliya fes da ita, ta tari adaidaita sahu ta hau ta tafi, nan take Mama ta bawa drivern umarnin yabi adaidaitan, suka yi ta bin sa tiryan tiryan har gaban gidan zoo sai ya tsaya Mufida ta sauka su kuma suka tsaya can nesa da ita, bata dade da sauka ba sai ga mota ta tsaya a gabanta, ta bude gaba ta shiga motar ta tafi su Mama kuma suka bi bayanta. 

A lokacin gabakidaya hankalin Mama ya gama tashi, gabanta faduwa yake yi sosai tana tsoron abinda zata yi finding in ta cigaba da bin Mufida but she couldn't stop, tana so ta sani, waye Mufida take tare da shi kuma menene tsakanin su?

Sai taga sun dauki hanyar barin gari, zuwa wata unguwa da bata da cikowa sosai sannan suka shiga wani layi suka kuma tsaya a kofar wani gida da Mama ta ga yafi mata kama da gidan gona, shi kuma drivern Mama yayi packing a can bayan su a karkashin inuwar wata bishiya yadda ko da Mufida ta juyo ba zata gane motar ba. Motar da Mufida take ciki tayi horn da karfi, ta sake yi, sai kuma na cikin motar ya fito da alama ransa a bace yake yaje ta tura gate din ya fara kokarin bude shi. 

Mama ta dafe kirjinta da hannu biyu "Doctor Bashir?" Ta fada cikin mamaki, kamar ya ji ta sai ya juyo da fuskar sa side din ta yadda zata gane shi sosai sannan ya koma cikin motar ya shigar da ita cikin gidan gonar tare da barin gate din a bude da niyyar idan mai gadin ya dawo daga yawon da ya tafi yi ya tabbatar cewa yayi laifi.

Mama ta balle murfin mota ta fito. Ranta a matukar bace, wannan wanne irin cin amana ne? Bashir din da yake aminin Umar wanda Umar yake kai wa har cikin gidan su cikin yanuwansa amma shine mai daukan kanwarsa zuwa gidan gona a bayan gari? To ma wai uban me yake yi mata a cikin gidan gonar?

Zuciyarta ta san amsar.......
Amma zuciyarta bata son ta yarda da amsar.......


Da sauri ta fara tafiya a kafa zuwa gidan, yar tazarar da take tsakanin inda suka yi packing da kuma gidan gonar ya saka ta dan dauki lokaci kafin ta je, babu kowa a bakin gate din dan haka ta shiga, ta ga motar anyi packing din ta a gaban wani gini a ciki amma babu kowa a ciki, ta tabbatar suna cikin ginin, amma abinda baya tabbatar ba shine abinda suke yi a cikin ginin. Shine kuma abinda take so ta tabbatar

Ta tura kofa a hankali ta shiga falon tana lura da kofofi biyu da suke facin dinta amma babu kowa a falon sai kamshin turaren Mufida, turaren yarta. Ta doshi ɗakunan guda biyu tana tunanin wanne ne suke ciki, tana kuma fatan ta shiga ta tarar ba abinda take tunani bane ba, amma idan ba shi bane ba to menene? Innalillahi wa inna ilaihir rajiun.

Kofar farko ta tura da dukkan karfin ta cikin karfin halin da bata san tana da shi ba ta shiga, sai dai kamar yadda tayi addu'a ba abinda take tunanin gani ta gani ba, instead abinda ta gani yafi karfin abinda take tunani. Mace da namiji ne a kwance akan gado, turmida tabarya, suna aikata abin da miji da mata ne kadai aka halatta wa aikatawa, amma duk ba wannan ne tashin hankalin ta ba, tashin hankalin ta shine tasan namijin, danta ne, Umar din ta ne, tsirara tamkar yadda ta haife shi. 

"Umar!!!!!!!" Ta ambaci sunansa, wanda hakan ne ma ya ankarar da shi da kuma abokiyar alfashar sa da shigowar ta dakin. 

Bai san sanda yayi tsalle daga kan yarinyar zuwa karshen dakin ba, cikin tsananin tsorata da razana, idonsa cikin idon mahaifiyarsa. 

Sai kuma ta rufe idonta da sauri sannan ta juya cikin laluben hanya ta fita daga dakin ba tare da ta san inda kanta yake ba. A cikin rudewar tata ne ta bude next door ta fada cikin dakin

Abinda ta gani a dakin ne ya saka ta fara tantamar anya kuwa ba ta mutu bane ta bar duniya, anya kuwa ba hisabi ne ake yi mata ba?

Yar autar ta ce Mufida kwance akan gadon itama kamar yadda ta haifo ta, samanta kuma babban aminin yayanta ne. 

"Mufida!!!!!" 

Ta kira sunan ta itama, sannan dan sauran ganin da ya rage a idonta ya kauce, bakin duhu yayi replacing din sa, sai kuma ta zube a kofar dakin cikin halin sumewa.

*Ina sake tunawa masu karanta littafin nan ba tare da sun siya ba cewa na siyarwa ne, idan har baki biya ni anan ba to kuwa tabbas zaki biya ni a garin da babu kudin biya, dan hakkinane, Allah kuma baya yafe hakkin wani sai in shi ya yafe da kansa*


Ga masu son siya zasu iya turo kudin su #300 zuwa wannan account din

0779484494
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Sai su turo evidence of payment zuwa wannan number din ta hanyar WhatsApp
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*wannan littafin na siyarwa ne a bisa amana, idan baki siya ba kar ki karanta, idan kuma kin siya kar kiyi sharing. In kika yi kin ci amana kuma ke da Allah*

*Black Friday 2*

*Umar*

"Umar!!!!!" Kamar daga sama yaji an kira sunan sa da karfi, kiran da ya ji shi tamkar saukar mari akan fuskar sa. Ba kiran sunan ne ya firgita shi ba, ba kuma jin da yayi tamkar mari a fuskar sa ne ya firgita shi ba, a'a muryar da yaji an kira sunan nasa da ita ita ce ta firgita shi. 

Ya juyo a razane zuwa bakin kofar dakin da yake aikata alfashar sa a ciki, dakin da ya rufe da hannunsa wai dan ya hana wani shigowa ya ga abinda yake yi, forgetting cewa babban wanda yake sabawa yana ganinsa komai killacewar da yayi kuma komai duhun gurin da yake. Kuma shi mai ganin nasa shine wanda zai hukunta shi duniya da kuma lahira.

Sai dai abinda ya gani a bakin kofa shi ya tsorata shi tsoratar da tunda uwarsa, matar da take tsaye a bakin kofar, ta haife shi bai taba yin irinta ba. 

Mama ce, a tsaye a bakin kofar idanuwan ta a cikin nasa, maman sa, mahaifiyarsa, matar da yafi so fiye da kowa a duniya, matar da yafi jin nauyi fiye da kowa a duniya, matar da tafi sonsa fiye da kowa a duniya. 

Bai san sanda yaje bayan gadon ba sai kawai ganinsa yayi a can, bugun zuciyarsa tana tsayawa chak kamar yadda kwakwalwar sa ta daina aiki gabaki daya, ya ga ta runtse idonta sannan ta juya da sauri tana laluben hanya ta fita daga dakin, ya runtse nasa idon shima yana tabbatar wa a ransa cewa mafarki yake yi, mugun mafarki yake yi. A take kuma ya gaya wa kansa cewa ba zai taba yadda wannan mugun mafarkin ya zama gaskiya ba, ba zai kuma aikata abinda yake aikatawa ba. 

Sai dai jin muryar ta da ya sake yi ta sake yin wata karar cikin ambaton sunan kanwar sa, mafi soyuwa a zuciyarsa a saman dukkan sauran yan'uwansa shi ya saka ya bude idonsa da sauri, hoping ya ganshi akan gadon sa na dakinsa da yake gidan su, ko kuma ya ganshi a kan gadonsa na gidansa rungume da matar sa, ko kuma ma ya ganshi a dakinsa zamanin yarintar sa, hoping dukkan abinda ya faru mafarki ne, dukkan mummunar rayuwarsa mafarki ce. 

Amma sai ya ganshi still a cikin mafarkin sa, a cikin mummunan mafarkinsa durkushe a can bayan gado a cikin dakin da ya aikata da yawa daga cikin alfashar da ya aikata a rayuwar sa. A cikin mummunar rayuwarsa. 

But was she really there????
Was his mother really there???
Did see really see him????

Ko dai hallucinations yake yi?? Ko dai ya fara samun matsala a kwakwalwa? 

A lokacin babu abinda ba zai iya bayarwa ba dan ya kasance cewa da gaske matsala ya samu a kwakwalwa ba wai abinda yake tunani bane ba.

But what if abinda yake tunanin ne?

Ya rarumi wandonsa ya saka ignoring matar da take ta babatun tambayar sa wacece ta shigo, ya fita da sauri a dai dai lokacin da Mama ta sulale ta fadi a kofar dakin da yake kusa da inda ya fito. 

Ya tsaya yana kallon ta, yana tabbatar wa cewa ita din ce ko aljana bace ba ko kuma mai kama da ita bace ba, sai kuma ya daga kansa a daidai lokacin da yaji an kwalla kara da muryar da tayi kama da ta kanwarsa Mufida. Mufidan ce a zaune akan gado hannunta rike da bedsheet tana kokarin kare tsiraicin ta, idonta kamar zai fado kasa saboda tsoro da razana, a gefen gadon, hannun sa rine da wandonsa yana kokarin karasa daure tazugen wandon, babban abokinsa ne a mu'amalance, kuma amininsa a harkar lalatarsu. Bashir. 

Duk da toshewar da kwakwalwar sa tayi amma image din da ya gani ya tabbatar masa da abinda ya faru. Ko kuma daga dukkan alamu, abinda ya dade yana faruwa. Bashir, amininsa da suka jima suna jagorantar junansu zuwa ga aikata alfasha shine yake aikata alfasha da kanwarsa uwa daya uba daya.

A dai dai lokacin da yake daki yake aikata zina, zinar da ansha gaya masa kuma ya sani cewa bashi ce, a dai dai lokacin few meters away from him ake karbar bashin da yake dauka daga gurin kanwarsa. Kuma babban aminin sa ne mai karbar. 

Hada idon da suka yi da Mufida shi ya saka ta fadowa daga kan gadon itama, tana kara nannade jikinta a cikin bedsheet din, babu inda baya rawa a jikin ta, yayinda shi kuma Bashir ya tsaya a inda yake kamar statue, gabakidayan su babu wanda ya tantance mai yake faruwa. 

Umar ya fahimci mai yake faruwa tsakanin Bashir da Mufida amma bai fahimci mai ya kawo Mama gurin ba. Bashir ya fahimci cewa ashe Umar yana cikin gidan sanda suka shigo da Mufida, dan dama ya ga kofar falon a bude sai dai bai kawo Umar din bane ba dan ya jima rabon da yazo, tunda Jidda ta bar gidan sa, amma shima bai san ya akayi Mama tazo gidan ba. Mufida farko ta dauka Umar tare da Mama suka shigo, amma kuma ya akayi babu riga a jikinsa?

"Bashirrrr?" 

Umar ya ambata cikin muryar da ta ratsa dukkanin ilahirin gidan sannan yayi kukan kura ya tsallake gadon da yake tsakiyar sakin ya damki Bashir ya buga shi da jikin dogon mirror din da yake dakin, mirror din ya tarwatse a gurin, sannan ya dunkule hannunsa ya fara nausar bakin Bashir din, burin sa ya fitar masa da hakoran gaba gabakidayan su dan ya kasance har abada in dai ya bude bakinsa sai ya tuna da abinda yayi. Sai ya tuna da cewa ya bata rayuwar kanwarsa.

Amma abinda yayi ne ko kuma abinda suka yi????

Sannan kuma shi kannen mutane nawa ya bata???

Kuma it doesn't look like forcing Mufida yayi, it looks like ita ta kawo kanta da kanta. 

But why?

Dukan Bashir din yake yi kamar Allah ne ya aiko shi. Duk da cewa Bashir din yana ta kokarin kare kansa da kuma rama wa amma kasancewar Umar din a kufule yake a kuma rikice, sannan kuma kirarsu dama ba daya bace ba, wannan ya saka cikin kankanin lokaci Bashir ya ji jiki a hannun Umar. 

Ganin hakoran Bashir din basu da niyyar fita ne ya saka Umar ya sunkuya ya dauki piece din mirror a kasa da niyyar yiwa Bashir zane a fuskar sa, in bai zubar masa da hakora ba tabbas zaiyi masa zanen da zai ke gani kullum yana tuna abinda yayi, yana tuna cin amanar da yayi, amma dama anya kuwa akwai amana a tsakanin su?

A lokacin ne Mufida taci nasarar zura doguwar rigar da tazo da ita a jikinta sannan nayi sauri ta rike hannun Umar fuskar ta cike da tsoro matsananci, bata san wanne ne yafi tashin hankali a cikin abubuwan da suke faruwa ba. Kamata da umarta mahaifiya tayi tana aikata alfasha da abokin yayanta ko kuma kamatan da yayan nata shima yayi? Ko kuma halin da Maman ta ke ciki a yanzu wanda bata tabbatar ba ma ko tana da rai ko akasin haka, ko kuma kisan kan da yayan nata yake kokarin yi. 

Tayi saurin rike hannun Umar, duk sauran abubuwan sun riga sun faru babu yadda zatayi ta chanja su amma zata iya kokarin hana wannan, 

"yaya Doctor!" Ta kira shi da karfi yadda zai ji, ya juyo yana kallon ta da wani irin yanayi daya razanata ya saka ta saki hannun nasa, sai kuma ya yar da mirror din sannan ya kifa mata maruka guda biyu a jere kuma duk a kunci daya. Karfin marin ya saka ta durkushe a gurin hannunta biyu rike sa kuncin da ta tabbatar sai ya samu nakasu, ko dai kunnen ta ko idonta wani sai ya nakasa a ciki. Ya saka kafa yayi ball da ita ta bugu da jikin bango. Ta daga kafa zai sake dukanta sai kuma ya tambayi kansa, was it really entirely her fault?

Sai ya tsallake ta da sauri ya tafi gurin Mama, Maman da baya jin har duniya ta tashi zai kuma iya sake hada ido da ita. Amma kuma a yanzu so yake yi yaga ta bude idonta, ko da bata kalle shi ba so yake yi ya ga ta bude idonta ta kuma yi magana ko da ba dashi zata yi maganar ba. 

"Mama" ya fadi sunanta cikin murya mai kama da kuka amma ba kukan bane ba, wannan muryar tafi kukan zafi tafi kukan ciwo a zuciya. 

"Mamana!" Ya sake fada cikin yanayi na tashin hankali saboda jin da yayi babu alamar motsi a tare da ita. Shikenan ta faru ta kare, shikenan ya rasa mahaifiyarsa a sakamakon mummunar dabiar sa, shikenan kallon da tayi masa na karshe shine mafi munin kallo da ta taba yi a rayuwarta. 

Yana kokarin daga ta Mufida ta zo tana jijjiga ta ita ma tana kuka da fuskar ta da already ta kumbure. "Wayyo Allah na shiga uku. Mama dan Allah ki tashi" 

Umar ya lissafa kalmar shiga uku da ta fada, anya kuwa shi ba tara ya shiga ba? In da akwai shiga tara sai tara to duk ya shiga. Kuma a sanadiyyar abi daya. A sanadiyyar zina. Wannan kuma a duniya ne. A duniyar ma kuma ya tabbatar Allah is not done with him yet. Ballantana kuma in anje lahira. 

Tunanin zuwa lahira ya saka wani irin tsoro a tsirga masa tun daga kwakwalwar sa har zuwa kafafuwan sa, yaji ya kasa daga Maman da yake kokarin dagawa saboda yadda guiwowin sa suka sage babu karfi bakinsa kuma ya bushe. Da kyar ya daga ta ya fita da ita da sauri ya saka ta a motar sa da take baya a zuciyarsa yana tuno da cewa exactly a week ago ya dauki Baba shima ya saka shi a motarsa a irin wannan yanayin, kuma duk akan abu daya, duk akan sa, duk saboda zina.

Har zai kunna motar sai kuma ya fahimci cewa babu riga a jikinsa sai ya koma cikin gidan da sauri, a falo yaga yarinyar da yazo da ita, yarinyar da ko sunan ta bai sani ba, tana tsaye da yar fingilgilar rigarta a jikinta ta rike kugu, a kofar daya dakin kuma mufida ce tana ta sheshshekar kuka. And it hurt him to see them together, to know they are here for the same thing, yadda ya dauko yarinyar daga gidan baban ta dan ta biya masa bukata haka Bashir ya dauko mufida daga gidan Baba, gidan Baban sa, dan ta biya masa bukata. 

Ya wuce su ya dauko rigar sa a dakin ya saka sannan ya juyo da sauri zai koma motarsa sai yarinyar ta rike rigar ta sa "ina zaka tafi baka bani kudina ba?" 

Ya rintse idonsa yana jin bacin ransa yana ninkuwa especially da yayi realising a gaban Mufida ne. "Wallahi ka bani kudina ko in tara maka jama'a a gidan nan dama ai an gaya min cewa makon kudi ne da kai shi yasa naso ka bani tun kafin a fara amma kace min wai babu matsala ga matsalar nan ai na gani da ido na, ni ba da kudi ba ni va da satisfaction ba" 

Mufida ta tsaya tana kallon su, kudin menene yayanta zai bawa wannan matar mai kama da karuwai, amma kuma dakin dara fito daga ciki nan ya shiga ya dauko rigarsa, ma'ana daga nan ya fito babu riga kenan, ma'ana..........

"Wallahi ba zan cika ka ba na gaya maka sai kabani kudina, ba Mama zaka kira ba ko Baba ne sai ka sallame ni ko kuma su wadanda kake kira din su sallame ni tunda su suka haife ka bani ba ballantana in dauki asara" 

Ya juyo a zuciye da niyyar itama ya daki ya daki banza amma kuma har ya daga hannun sa sai kuma ya sauke a ransa yana tambayar kansa menene laifin ta? Me tayi masa da zai dake ta? Tabbas duk da kasancewar ta karuwa in ya dake ta yana da alhakin ta kuma Allah ba zai yafe masa ba harcsai ya nemi gafarar ta ita kuma ta yafe masa, shi kuma a yanzu baya fatan abinda zai sake sakawa su hada hanya shi da ita ma ballantana suyi magana. 

Ya fara kokarin controlling kansa sannan ya dauko wayarsa yace "fado account number" ta sake cakumar rigarsa. "Kutumar uba, ni zaka yiwa bura uba? Wallahi dama limcy tace min ranar nan da ka dauke ta kace babu cash sai dai kayi mata transfer, har yau transfer din bata zo ba, to wallahi in ita ta kyale ni ba zan kyale ba, wallahi sai na ............" 

Murya suka ji daga bayan su.. muryar Mufida..,

"Nawa ne kudin naki?" 

Ya rufe idonsa yana jin tamkar rufin dakin ne ya fado masa aka, yana jin ta tana gayawa Mufida sannan yaji alamar lissafin kudi sannan kuma yaji ta saki rigarsa, bai juya ya kalle ta ba ballantana Mufida ya fita yana jin cewa ita ma mufidan ba zai kuma iya kallon idonta ba.

Ya shiga cikin motar tare da juya wa baya inda ya kwantar da Mama yayi checking pulse dinta da yake jin sa can ciki, ya dauke idonsa daga kanta yana tunanin duk duniya babu uwar da bata yi dacen da ba kamar ta, duk duniya babu dan da ya ci mutuncin uwarsa kamar shi. Duk duniya babu wanda yayi asarar rayuwa kamar yadda yayi asarar ta sa.

Ta dauko key din motar yana kokarin kunna ta amma karkarwar da hannun sa yake yi ya saka key din faduwarsa biyu kafin ya samu ya shiga jikin motar. Sai kuma yaji an bude bayan motar an shiga, ya juya suka hada ido da Mufida sai yayi sauri ya juyar da kansa tare da tayar da motar. 

Mufida ta jawo Mama ta rungume ta tana sheshshekar kuka, shima Umar din kukan yake so yayi amma ya kasa, burinsa a lokacin shine ya kai mahaifiyarsa asibiti mafi kusa wanda za'a bata taimakon gaggawa. A haka suka fita daga gidan, fitar da Umar ya tabbatar har cikin zuciyarsa ita ce fitar sa ta karshe daga gidan gonar, baya jin zai kuma bin koda hanyar gidan gonar ne ballantana ya kuma shiga ciki, sai dai ya sani cewa ba zai taba goge memories din mummunar rayuwar sa a gidan ba.

Ya gyara mirror din motar yana kallon Mama ta ciki, a ransa yana fatan zata samu wani problem da zai goge mata abinda ta gani daga kwakwalwar ta dan ya tabbatar bayan abinda ta gani rayuwarta ba zata taba dawowa dai dai ba, kuma duk a dalilin sa. 

Asibitin da ya kai Baba yau ma nan suka je, yayi packing sannan ya fita da sauri, ko minti biyu ba'a yi ba suka dawo tare da nurses da kuma kujerar tura marar lafiya, suka fito da Mama da alokacin ta fara dawowa hayyacin ta suka tura ta zuwa ciki, Mufida ta bisu a baya hesitantly tana waigen Umar tana fatan shima zai taho tare da su amma sai taga ya tsaya a jikin motar sa yana bin su da kallo har suka shige ciki, ya runtse idonsa tare da dafe kansa da hannu biyu, a ransa yana jin wannan shine gani na karshe da zai yiwa mahaifiyarsa da kuma yaruwarsa, baya jin zai iya sake hada ido da su ko kuma duk wani wanda ya shafe su. 

Ya bude mota ya shiga sannan ya sake kokarin tayar da motar amma ya kasa, abinda ya faru ne kawai yake ta replaying kansa a cikin kwakwalwar sa, ya girgiza kansa yafi sau a kirga amma kuma ya kasa kawar da hoton abin a zuciyarsa. Gashi nan a kwance a saman mace, Maman sa kuma a tsaye a gabansu idonta a kansu. Anya kuwa akwai wanda ya taba shiga irin halin sa ya ke ciki? Anya kuwa akwai masifar da tafi wannan muni? 

Da yasan abinda zai faru kenan da baiyi ba, to wai ma me ya saka shi yi ne? Shi da ya gama sakankancewa cewa ya daina? Rabon sa da yi fa tun Jidda tana gidan sa, ya dauka da gaske ya daina, me ya kai shi ya sake yi ne wai? Me ya kai shi?

Ya tuna sakon da Jidda ta tura masa yau da assuba cewa tana so ta ganshi, ya tuna da irin farin cikin da sakon nata ya saka shi a ciki dan dama ya dade yana saia rai tare da zuba idon ganin sako kamar sa, ya san cewa Jidda tana son sa, kuma soyayya tana tafiya tare da tausayi, wannan yasa yake zuwa unguwar su kullum tare da fatan zata ganshi kuma taji tausayinshi.

Dan haka sanda ya samu sakonta, sanda ya kira ta ta dauka, ya dauka burinsa ne ya cika, ya daukar soyayyar da take yi masa ce ta rinjayi fushin da take yi da shi, ya dauka tana son su sasanta ne ta dawo gidan ta. Wannan yasa maganganun da tayi masa suka zama tamkar mari a fuskarsa ne ga zuciyarsa. 

Sai dai kuma yanzu da yayi bitar maganganun na ta sai ya fahimci cewa gabakidaya gaskiya ne a cikin su, amma sanda tana fada bai fahimta ba, lokacin kawai jin su yake tamkar bakaken maganganun ne ta ware take gaya masa, cewa tafi karfin sa cewa shi mazinaci ne ita kuma mumina, cewa zata iya auren wani bayan shi kuma ta zauna cikin farin ciki. 

Wannan ya ingiza zuciyarsa zuwa ga aikata abinda a lokacin yake ganin idan yayi zai tabbatar wa kansa da cewa shi ma zai iya rayuwa babu ita.

But now that everything is lost saboda abinda yayi sai ya fahimci cewa it is not worth it. Now that all his life is lost sai ya fahimci cewa gabakidayan barikin ma is not worth it. 

Ya lissafo dukkan rayuwar sa da mummunar harkar sa, all the forbidden pleasures da ya samu a cikin harkar, just few minutes of pleasures, and now they have completely destroyed his life. 

Kuma shi kansa ya san wannan abin da ya faru is just the beginning, the beginning of his torment a duniya ka dai sannan ga eternal turture a lahira. Yace ba zai iya sake kallon mahaifiyar sa da yan'uwansa ba, but what of Ubangijin sa? Mai zai ce masa ranar da ya tsayar da shi a gabansa ta tuhume shi da laifuffukan sa? Bayan kuma ba rage shi da komai ba sannan ya bashi mata ta ke ce raina wadda ba kowa ya bawa irinta ba. 

Yanzu daya duba rayuwar barikin sa da kuma matan da zai iya tunowa wadanda yayi mu'amala dasu a barikin sai yaga babu wadda za'a ita jera ta tare da matarsa a matsayi daya na kyawun halitta ballantana kyawun zuciya, yanzu da yake duba abin sai ya fahimci he have never been truly satisfied sexually idan ba da matarsa din ba, amma still yake komawa ya bita kudibsa ya sake yi, duk da cikin zuciyarsa ya sani cewa masifa ce da bala'i yake siyawa kansa da kudin sa.

Gashi nan masifar ta fara saukowa kansa a yanzu, sai dai tashin hankalin sa shine ba wai kansa kadai masifar zata sauko ba, har kan ahalinsa. Lallai Annabi yayi gaskiya.

Ya tuna da ganin da yayi wa Mufida yau.......
Ya tuna da ganin da Mama tayi masa yau ......

What is next.

Kuma wannan a duniya ne kadai.....

Duniyar da yaji ta fita daga kansa baki daya, so yake ya barta a yau, mutuwa yake so yayi ya huta da wannan abin kunyar. 

Amma in ya mutum mai zai tarar a lahira? 

Ya tuna da ayar da take bayani akan azabar da ubangiji ya tanadarwa mazinaci a lahira. 

Take wanj tsoro, mugun tsoro ya shige shi, ya dunkule a kan kujerar motar tare da fara wani kuka wanda yaje cike da tsantsar nadama da dana sani mai tsanani. 

"Astagfirullah!!!" 

Ya fada daga can cikin zuciyarsa. Kalmar da tasa yaji wani sabon tsoron ubangijin sa ya sake shigarsa. 

"Astagfirullah!!!" Ya cigaba da maimaitawa cikin kukan da yake jin sa yana tahowa daga zuciyarsa yana vibrating a dukkan jikinsa.

Yafi awa daya a wajen a cikin wannan halin sannan ya tuna da sallolin da yake wasa da su, ya tuna cewa bai ma yi sallar azahar ba gashi har ana kiran laasar, ya tuna sanda ake tafiya masallacin sallar juma'a a lokacin ne shi kuma yake yake tafiya gurin aikata alfashar sa, sai yaji kunyar ubangijin sa ta kama shi, ya tuna cewa yana kallon sa a lokacin da yake tafiya kuma yana kallon sa a lokacin da yake aikatawa, yana kallon sa a duk lokutan da yake aikatawa. Wanne uzuri zai bayar idan ya tambaye shi? Yanzu da zai mutu a yanzu wanne uzuri zai bayar na dalilin da yasa bai yi sallar azahar ba? 

Ya bude motar da niyyar zuwa masallaci yayi azahar sannan ayi laasar din tare da shi sai kuma ya tuna cewa sai yayi wankan tsarki. Ya koma ya zauna yana jin kunyar duniya gabakidaya ta kama shi. Kunyar ubangijin sa yake ji kamar zai nutse a gurin. 

Yanzu mai zai ce da Allah idan ya mutu kafin yayi sallar?

Ya kunna motar sannan ya share hawayen idonsa ya taka ta a hankali ya fita daga harabar asibitin. A hankali yake tuka motar, a lokacin babu abinda yake tsoro irin mutuwa, gani yake zai iya mutuwa ko wanne second kuma shi kansa yasan makomarsa idan ya mutu a halin da yake ciki. A hanyar ya yanke wani hukunci a ransa cewa idan ya shiga cikin gidan sa ba zai kuma fitowa ba, ba zai kuma hada ido da wani ba, zai yi dedicating sauran rayuwarsa ne zuwa neman gafarar Ubangijin sa har sai ya karbi ransa. 

Yana zuwa gidan mai gadi ya tare shi "yallabai dazu Hajiya tazo tare da baki baka nan" gabansa ya fadi, "wacce Hajiya?" Yace "Hajiya karama ta babban gida" ya fahimci Aunty yake nufi, sai kawai ya rabu dashi ya shige ciki.

 Yana shiga toilet ya wuce yayi wanka, wankan da ya dauki lokaci yana yi yana ji kamar yanaso ne ya kankare fatar jikinsa ya zubar, maybe ko zai rage dattin najasar da take tare da shi, sai da ya fahimci lokacin sallah yana cigaba da wucewa sannan ya fito ya chanja kaya ya saka wadu sababbi wadanda bai taba sakawa ba, ji yake kamar sauran kayan nasa duk najasa ce a jikin su. 

Yayi sallah, azahar da laasar, amma sai ya kasa yin addu'a, ya rasa abinda zai roka a gurin ubangiji, ya rasa da bakin da xai nemi gafara a gurin ubangiji dan tabbas a lokacin gani yake yi babu wanda ya kai shi munanan aiyuka. Maimakon ya daga hannun yayi addu'a sai ya mayar da goshinsa kasa yayi kuka, kuka mai yawan da yake jin bai taba yin irinsa ba a duniya, kukan kuma da yake jin yana fitowa da ga cikin zuciyarsa. 

Sai da ya zama exhausted babu wani sauran karfi a tare da shi sannan ya kwanta a gurin ya rufe idonsa yana cigaba da sake bitar laifuffukan sa. Mai yasa ya kasa dainawa ne? Ya jima yana cewa zai daina amma kuma ya kasa dainawa, tun kafin yayi aure yake cewa zai daina idan yayi aure, da yayi auren kumaya dauka ya daina din sai da wannan shegiyar zuwairan ta bishi Lagos ta hillace shi, daga nan ya kuma cewa ba zai kara daga kanta ba amma kuma sai gashi ya cigaba, duk sanda yayi saibya gayawa kansa na karshe ne amma wani opportunity din yana sake zuwa masa zai sake yi ya kuma cewa na karshe ne. 

Sai yanzu ya gano dalilin kasa dainawar tasa.......

Saboda ba dan Allah yake so ya daina ba... .

Amma yanzu ya gane kuskuren sa, he has learned the hard way but he is greatful for learning, ya gode Allah ya ya nuna masa ayar sa tun a duniya har kuma ya juyo da hankalin sa zuwa tuba na gaskiya, ya gode Allah dabai dauki ransa ba tare da ya tuba ba. Yanxu abinda ya rage masa shine neman yafiyar Ubangijin sa, amma gani yake yi kamar sauran kwanakin sa a duniya sunyi masa kadan yayi concentrating for his sins.

Karar wayarsa ce take ta breaking into his thoughts, ko kallon inda take baiyi ba dan yasan ba zai wuce yan gidan su bane ba suke nemansa, maybe duk sunji abinda ya faru, shi kuwa ba zai taba zuwa inda suke ba ballantana ya iya hada ido da su baya shi din ya zamanto tamkar annoba ne a gare su. 

Sai kuma ya jawo rigarsa ya ciro wayar daga aljihunsa yana duba missed calls din sa, yawancin su daga Aunty ne sai kuma wasu daga yaya Mubaraka. Sai kuma message daga Aunty tun da rana 

"Umar kana ina? Muna neman key din gidan ka dan iyayen amaryar nan sun ce gobe zasu kawo ta"

Ya ajiye wayar kusa da shi ya cigaba da sauraron kidan ta as they kept calling.

Sai dai daga baya ne kuma yaji wayar tayi kida na daban wanda ya saka shi saurin dago kansa ya kalli inda wayar take. Kidan daya saka wa number din Jidda. Rabon da yaji wayarsa tayi kara da wannan kidan tun Jidda tana gidansa, sai lokacin da Yasmin ta kira shi. 

Ya dauke kansa daga inda wayar take, me take nema? Ko itama taji labarin abinda ya faru ta kira shi tace masa "I told you so?" In ba haka ba baya jin bayan rabuwar da suka yi dazu akwai dalilin da zai saka ta kira shi. Yana ji kiran ya katse wani ya sake shigowa still daga gare ta. Sai da tayi masa kira biyar sannan ya tashi ya dauki wayar jikinsa yana bashi babu lafiya, ko dai Mama ce ta rasu? Ko dai mahaifiyarsa ce ta mutu da bakin cikin sa? 

Ya dauki kiran ya saka a kunnen sa amma yakasa cewa komai sai yaji muryarta, but she sounded as if she is crying. 

"Umar! Kana ina?" Ya mike zaune. "Jidda? Lafiya kike kuka?" Ta kara sautin kukan ta "Umar babu lafiya, yanzu aka kira ni wai daga police station ta gwauran dutse, wai sun tsinci Yasmin, wai sun kaita asibiti, wai in tafi asibitin yanzu" 

Ya mike tsaye, hankalin sa a matukar tashe "Yasmin? Me ya samu Yasmin Jidda? Me ya samu ƴata?" 

Cikin kuka tace " wai wani ne ya tsince ta ya kaita gurin su, wai sun kaita asibiti, ka taho dan Allah Umar" 

Yaji jiri yana neman daukar sa "kina ina? Wane asibiti suka ce?" Ta gaya masa sunan asibitin sannan tace "ina hanya na tafi can, dan Allah Umar kazo, tsoron abinda zan tarar a can nake ji, dan Allah kazo"

Bai karasa jin magiyar ta ba ya katse kiran ya dauki key din mota ya fita daga gidan a guje, gidan da yace ba zai kuma fita ba sai dau a fitar da gawar shi. 

A guje yaje asibitin, a rikice, yana packing ko rufe kofar motar baiyi ba ya fita ya shiga cikin asibitin, a reception ya hango ta, ta taho da sauri itama fuskar ta kacha kacha da hawaye, direct ta wuce kirjinsa tana kara sautin kukanta, ya dago tada sauri "ina Yasmin din? Me ya same ta?" 

Ta nuna masa wani daki a gefe "tana ciki....." Ya sake ta da sauri ya wuce ta ya shiga dakin da ta nuna.

Tun daga bakin kofa ya lura da fuskar yarinyar tasa, a kunbure kamar an dake ta a fuska, goshinta anyi mata dinki. Ya karaso gabanta ya tsaya sannan a hankali ya saka hannunsa ya dauki hannunta daya ya rike yana kallon dan karamin wrist din ta. Zagayen wrists din sunyi jajawur da wani zane mai kama da na igiyar shanya. Kana ganin hannayen kasan daure ta akayi da igiyar shanya. 

Ya juya da sauri a lokacin da Jidda take shigowa dakin itama, cikin budewar murya yace "me ya faru da ƴata!?" 

Kafin tayi magana doctor ya shigo tare da police a bayansa, police din ya na magana ya nuna Yasmin yace 

"yauwa wannan itace rape victim din"


Wadannan sune kawai kalmomin da suka daki kunnen Umar, kalmomin da yaji su tamkar saukar tsawa a lokacin damina, suka kuma tarwatsa zuciyarsa kamar yadda tsawa taje tarwatsa bishiya idan ta sauka a kanta. 

Sune kuma kalmomi na karshe da Umar yaji, kafin ya fadi kasa sumamme.


*Jidda*

Tun bayan tafiyar Umar nake zaune a sitting room din cikin halin rashin jin dadi, banji dadin yadda maganar mu da Umar ta kasance ba, ban kuma ji dadin yadda ya fita daga gidan mu ba, ina jin tsoron kar ya yi wani abu, kar yaje yayi hatsari a yanayin da ya fita. 

Ina nan zaune har aka sauko daga masallacin juma'a, a lokacin ne yaya Tahir ya shigo mukayi maganganu akan shirin tafiya ta Ethiopia, daga nan ya tafi ni kuma na koma cikin gida nayi sallar sannan na kwanta da niyyar inyi bacci zuwa laasar amma na kasa yin baccin, zuciyata duk babu dadi nake jin ta. 

Na mike na dauko wayata na kira Diyam muka danyi hira na bata labarin latest abubuwan da suka faru da kuma yadda muka yi da Umar yau, ta bani shawarwari tare da kara min karfin guiwa kamar yadda  saba. Mukayi sallama na tashi na ci abinci sannan nayi sallar laasar na kunna tv na zauna ina jiran dawowar Asma'u daga makaranta dan ta dan ɗebe min kewar su Yasmin da nake jin ta dame ni.

Sai dai ban jima ina kallon ba kira ya shigo waya ta daga number din da ban sani ba. Sai dai true caller ta nuna min "DPO Gwauron Dutse" na yi mamaki tare da jin tsoron mai police suke nema a gurina, abu na farko da ya fara zuwa raina shine Umar yayi accident. Na dauka da sallama cikin tsoro da fargaba. 

Yace "yauwa, dan Allah ina magana ne da babar yarinya mai suna Maryam wadda ake cewa Yasmin?" 

Na mike tsaye cikin firgici, ina jin kamar zanyi fitsari a tsaye "eh ni ce, Yasmin yata ce. Me ya faru? Me ya samu Yasmin?" 

Yace "ki kwantar da hankalin ki Madam, yarinyar ki tana lafiya tana hannun mu amma yanzu zamu tafi da ita asibiti sai dai ki same mu a can"

Na fara kuka "me ya samu Yasmin? Me take yi a hannun ku? Me yasa zaku kaita asibiti?" 

Yace "farko zan yaba wa kokarin ki na saka yarinyar ki ta haddace number din ki, wannan yana da kyau sosai iyaye su saka ƴaƴan su su haddace number din da zasu iya kiran su da ita idan wani abu ya same su, kuma yana taimaka mana mu jami'an tsaro yana saukaka mana bincike. Abu na biyu kuma yarki tana lafiya, wani bawan Allah ne ya kawo mana ita wai yaji ihunta a cikin wani kango a kusa da gidan sa, sai ya shiga ya tarar wani lalatacce ne yake neman haike mata, wancan din ya gudu amma muna neman sa, lafiyarta kalau kamar yadda na gaya miki sai dai dan dukan da yayi mata dan ya hanata ihu, sai kuma buguwar da tayi a ka"

Na ajiye wayar jikina yana karkarwa kamar mazari, yace kar in tayar da hankali na amma hankali na ya kai kololuwar tashi. Babu abinda nake kira sai innalillahi wa inna ilaihir rajiun. Ban jira komai ba na saka hijab dina, sai a hanya sannan nakira Abba na gaya masa abinda ya faru, sai kuma da na shiga adaidaita sahu sannan na kira Umar, ji nayi ina bukatar sa a lokacin, ina so shima ya kasance tare da Yasmin.

Nayi ta kira da kyar ya dauka, na san fushi ne yake yi akan abinda ya faru dazu, sai daga baya ya dauka na gaya masa kiran sa akayi min kuma na nemi ya taho shima mu hadu a asibitin.


(Na so in rubuta cewa da gaske an yi raping Yasmin din amma zuciyata ta kasa 💔, amma ina so mu sani abubuwan da suka fi wannan ma suna faruwa, har babies ana raping ballantana masu wayo kamar Yasmin. Allah ya kyauta ya tsare mu da iyalin mu baki daya. But let it be our little secret🤫 kar mu gaya wa Umar. Lol. Let him keep thinking cewa anyi din🤭)


Forgive the typos...............

Ga masu son siya zasu iya turo kudin su #300 zuwa wannan account din

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*wannan littafin na siyarwa ne bisa amana. Idan baki siya ba kar ki karanta, idan kuma kin siya kar ki yi sharing, idan kika yi kin ci amana kuma ke da Allah*

*Hospitalized*

Ina ganin faduwar Umar na fahimci abinda ya faru, na tuna cewa ban gaya masa cewa ba'ayi ba kuma abinda yaji police din yana fada ya nuna masa kamar anyi ne, ina kallon doctor din tare da police din suka yi kansa da sauri suna jijjiga shi tare da kokarin bashi taimakon gaggawa amma ni kuma sai na wuce su zuwa gaban gadon Yasmin na tsaya ina kallon ta, remembering the first time I saw her ranar data fito daga cikina, how much she looked and still look like her father. 

Na zauna a kan kujerar gaban gadon nata na rike hannunta da hannu na daya sannan na shafa gurin da yayi shati akan farar fatarta ina kallon fuskarta, so small, so innocent, babu abinda ta sani a duniya in banda soyayya da kulawa dan abinda kawai muke nuna mata kenan daga ni har mahaifin ta, bata san wani abu tashin hankali ba, wannan yasa rayuwar da muka samu kan mu a ciki a yan kwanakin nan ta ke tabata sosai, and now this.

Wannan wanne irin rashin imani ne? 

Wannan wacce irin rayuwa ce?

Yanzu me za'a dauka a jikin wannan tatsitsiyar yarinyar da ba ma ta san menene abinda akayi niyyar yi mata ba? How can a sane person try to do something like that with someone like Yasmin? Ya yaya?

Wannan wanne irin cin zali ne?

Na shafa fuskarta da take rudu rudu da shatin yatsun azzalumin mutumin, na fara sheshshekar kuka "Allah ya isan ki Yasmin. Allah ya saka miki" amma a raina sai naji bana bukatar yi masa Allah ya isa, ko ban fada ba sai Allah ya saka mata, ko ban fada ba nasan duk wanda zai iya aikata cin zali irin wannan to kuwa tabbas ba zai gama da duniya lafiya ba, zai iya ya tuba Allah ya yafe masa amma wannan cin zalin tabbas Allah ba zai yafe masa shi ba sai ya fitar wa da Yasmin hakkinta a kansa.

Tunowar da nayi da Allah sai naji kamar ban yi dai-dai ba da nake wannan kukan kamar wadda aka yi wa mutuwa, kamata yayi in gode masa, kamata yayi in saka goshina a kasa inyi masa godiya akan kubutar min da yarinya ta da yayi daga mugun nufin wannan bawa nasa, ba dan Allah ya bata ikon yin ihun da har wani ya ji ta ya zo ya taimaka mata ba da yanzu wata maganar ake yi, maybe da ta rasa ranta, ko da bata rasa ranta ba da tabbas rayuwar ta ba zata taba dawowa da dai ba. 

Na saka hannu na na goge hawaye na amma a take wasu suka kuma fitowa "alhamdulillah" na fada "alhamdulillah. Allah na gode maka daka kare min ita da kariyar ka, Allah ka cigaba da tsare min su gabakidaya a duk inda suke ka hana su fadawa cikin halaka".

"Sai hakuri Madam. Allah ya kiyaye, sai kuma fatan Allah ya kiyaye gaba" na dago kai ina kallon dan sandan nace "ameen Nagode" yace "amma kuma Allah ba zai kare taba sai kema kin kula sosai, duniya yanxu azzalumai sunfi nagari yawa, yarinya kyakykyawa, kosashshiya, lafiyayyiya kamar wannan a gurin wani tamkar nama take. A kula a daina barinta tana yawo, a saka ido sosai dan su yaya amana ce da Allah ya bamu kuma tabbas zai tambaye mu a bisa amanar da ya bamu" 

Na gyada kai da sauri "haka ne officer, mun gode sosai, da zamu ga mutumin da ya taimaka mata da mun gode masa shima" ya girgiza kansa "babu wani abu, da akwai takarda da za'a saka hannu, ke zaki saka ko babanta?" Ya fada yana kallon daya side din dakin inda har yanzu doctor yake kan Umar da suka kwantar a kan daya gadon da yake cikin dakin, kafin in amsa sai ya sake min wata tambayar "shine babanta?" Na gyada kai sai ya kuma kallon ta yace "yeah, suna kama sosai. Shine mijinki kenan?" Nayi mamakin tambayar amma sai na amsa masa "eh shine" yace "ohhh, naga kamar baki damu sosai da halin da ya shiga ba, kinfi son yarki ko?" Ya karasa maganar cikin kokarin yi min wasa but I was in no mood for wasa. Jin bance komai ba sai yace "babu komai, duk sanda kuka samu dama sai daya daga cikin ku ya je station din mu ya saka hannu" na sake yi masa godiya ya sake yi min jaje sannan ya fita

Yana fita shima doctor din ya bar gaban Umar ya taho gurina da takardu a hannunsa ya mika min yana lissafa min kudaden da zanje in biya da kuma magungunan da zan siyo na Yasmin da kuma na Umar, ya kara da cewa "kar ki damu dashi, he is just in a shock, zai dawo hayyacin sa soon insha Allah kinji" na gyada kai kawai sai kuma ya lura da yadda nake kallon Yasmin, bana son fita in barta sai yace "ki kira wani a gida sai yazo ya taimaka miki" na zauna tare da sake rike hannunta da hannu daya na dafa kanta da dayan, ta dan bude ido kadan a tsorace tace "daddy! Wayyo mommy"

Na hau gadon tare da janta jikina na rungume ina hawaye, a raina ina lissafin duk da cewa ba'ayi mata abinda akayi niyya ba an riga an bata mata kuruciyarta da wani memory marar da di wanda zai cigaba da hunting dinta maybe har karshen rayuwar ta. 

Na tuna kokarin da na ringa yi for years na ganin cewa yayana basu samu bakin pentin laifin mahaifin su ba, but ashe dai duk wahala ta ta banza ce, ashe their father's sin will forever haunt them, ashe dai wannan bakin fentin ba zai taba goguwa daga gare su ba. 

Na tuna da maganar annabi ta cewa duk wanda yayi zina da yar wani sai anyi da ta sa, in yayi da matar wani ayi da tasa, in yayi da uwar wani ayi da tasa, na tuna da yawan matan da nasan Umar ya nema kuma bisa la'akari da yadda yake kokarin boye min harkokin sa na tabbatar wadanda ban sani ba sunfi waɗanda na sani yawa, na kuma san tabbas dukkan su yayan wasu ne tunda dai ba daga sama suka fado ba, kenan duk wadannan bashi ne Umar ya ci wanda za'a fanshe akan yarsa, Yasmin.

Na sake rungume ta a jikina, "Inna lillahi wa inna ilaihir rajiun. Allah mun tuba Allah" 

Na tuna da shekarun dana dauka ina zaune da Umar duk da nasan halinsa, duk da nasan wannan hadisin, shekarun dana dauka ina gayawa kaina cewa zaman hakuri nake yi, are they really worth this? Are they really worth my daughter's dignity? Shin soyayyar da nake yiwa Umar ta kai darajar Yasmin a gurina?

Na kalli kumburarriyar fuskar Yasmin da wani busasshen jini a gefen bakinta, a hankali nace "am sorry Yasmin! Am really sorry!" Sai na dora goshina akan nata na cigaba da kukana. 

But is she really safe? Da yayanta da jikokin ta da yayan Asad? Tunda waɗanda Umar ya nema jikokin wasu ne suma. Ni dai nasan ba zan iya kare yayana da jikoki na ba daga wannan musiba da ubansu ya jawo musu, na san kuma maganar Annabi bata taba tashi amma nasan zanyi iyakacin kokari na, na farko abinda zanyi shine zan dauke su as far away from Umar as possible, na biyu zan dedicating dukkan time dina gurin basu tarbiyya da dora su akan tafarkin Allah da kuma cusa musu addini da kyawawan dabi'u a cikin zukatan su, sannan kuma zan dage da addu'ar nema musu kariya babu dare babu rana dan idan akwai abinda zai chanja kaddarar mutum daga marar kyau zuwa mai kyau to tabbas addu'a ce. In nayi haka sai kuma in ga yadda rayuwa zata yi damu, insha Allah yadda taci albarkacin addu'a yau haka zasu cigaba da cin albarkacin addu'a har karshen rayuwar su.

Karar wayata ce ta dawo dani daga tunani na, na goge hawaye na na dauko wayar a cikin handbag dina da take ajjiye a gefe na ga number din Aunty ce, ko me zasu ce min kuma?

Na dauki kiran amma magana ta kasa fitowa daga makogwarona, naji muryar Aunty, kamar a cikin tashin hankali take magana "Jidda, Hello, kina jina?" A hankali nace "ina ji Aunty" tace "dama tambaya muke yi ko Umar ya kawo miki Yasmin?" Na danyi shiru, wato sai yanzu ma suka san bata gidan, nace "Yasmin kuma Aunty?" Tayi salati "innalillahi wa inna ilaihir rajiun. Basu zo ba? Kinga kar ki tayar da hankalin ki na san suna tare da Umar, muna ta kiran wayarsa ne yaki daga wa dama shi yasa na kira ki" 

Na juya kaina na kalli Umar da yake kwance a kan gadon har yanzu, ina lura da yadda yake jan numfashi sama sama. Ta cigaba "wallahi kinga ni na fita, babanku ya hada ni da uhmmm da mutane zamu je... zamuje unguwa, ashe itama Mama sun fita ita da Mufida sun tafi biki sun bar yaran da yan aiki, su kuma yan aikin basu saba da yaran ba sai suka manta da su, shine wai a yadda Asad yake gaya mana wai sai yake kuka shine Yasmin tace ya zauna zata je ta kira daddyn su yazo ya kawo su gurinki, to tunda ta fita bata dawo ba, babu wanda yaga sanda ta fita daga gidan, ni nafi tunanin ma a cikin gidan suka hadu da Umar ya dauke ta a mota suka fita, anyi ta kiran sa kuma yaki daga wa suma kuma su Maman duk basa daukan waya. Ga baban ku dama babu lafiya shine duk ya tada hankalin sa nace bara in kirawo ki inji ko ya kawo ta nan".

Na sake share hawayen da suka ki tsayawa nace "Aunty ga Yasmin nan tana tare da ni. Ki gaya wa Baba tana guri na" 

Naji ta sauke ajjiyar zuciya tare da hamdala. "Alhamdulillah. Ya kawo ta kenan. Amma bai kyauta wa Asad ba gashi nan sai kuka yake yana neman ta"

Na lumshe idona na bude, a lokacin da Yasmin ta sake zabura tare da kwalla min kira "mommy!" Na kara rungume ta a jikina "shshshsh, is Okay, mommy is here, you are safe" naji Aunty tace "lafiya dai ko?" Nace "Aunty Yasmin tana tare da ni yanzu, amma ba Umar ne ya kawo ta ba, police ne suka kira ni suka ce inzo asibiti gata  nan sun tsince ta" 

Aunty ta rafka salati "sun tsince ta? Yasmin din? Asibiti kuma? Me ya same ta?" Sai na kasa amsa mata dukkan tambayoyin ta kawai na saka kuka na ajiye wayar a gefe na, cikin kukan nake karanto adduoi ina tofa wa Yasmin dan ta samu saukin halin tsoratar da take ciki.

Ina cikin kukan ne naji motsin Umar, na juya side din da yake sai naga ya tashi zaune yana dafe da kansa da hannu daya sai kuma lokaci daya naga ya rikito daga gadon gabakidaya ya fado kasa hannayensa dafe da kirjinsa idanunsa a kan mu 

"Yasmin!" 

Ya fada cikin tsananin halin tashin hankali, sai a lokacin na tuna cewa shi bai san gaskiyar abinda ya faru ba ya dauka da gaske anyi din, a take kuma na yanke shawarar cewa ba zan gaya masa gaskiya ba, zan barshi ya cigaba da believing hakan maybe wannan ya zama silar dawowar sa cikin hayyacin sa. 

"My baby!" 

Ya fada hawaye suna gudu akan kuncinsa irin wadanda ban taba ganin ya zubar da irin su ba. Sai kuma ya fara tahowa akan guiwowin sa zuwa inda muke, na daga masa hannu da yanayin dakatarwa nima cikin hawaye nace" dakata Umar! Kar ka karaso inda muke, You have already done enough harm to us bama bukatar kari kayi wa girman Allah kar ka kuma shafa mana kashin kaji, ka riga ka dorawa yarinyar nan kwandon tsaba gashi nan ka jawo tsuntsaye sun fara binta, Allah ne kuma kadai ya san yaushe zasu daina bibiyar ta tunda ubanta ya riga ya siya mata da kuɗin sa"

Ya tsaya a inda yake, yana kukan da ya saka jikin sa gabakidaya yake karkarwa, yace "wallahi, Jidda, ban taba ko da gwada raping kowa ba, nasan na aikata munanan aiyuka da yawa amma duk yarinyar da na taba da amincewarta na taba ta, ni ban taba kula yarinyar da take underage ba ma, ni ban taba kula yarinyar ma da take secondary school ba, duk wadda na nema da amincewarta, da yawan su ma su suke kawo kansu gare ni ba tare da na basu ko kwandala ba, ba ina justifying actions dina bane ba amma ina nuna bambancin abinda nayi da wanda aka yiwa yata....." 

Na daga masa hannu "babu banbanci Umar, zina dai zina ce, ko a yaya aka yi ta kuma ko da wa aka yi ta duk sunanta zina kuma duk laifinta daya ne a gurin ubangiji, banbancin kai da kayi da babbar mace bisa amincewarta da kuma wanda yayi da karamar yarinya bisa tursasawa shine shi bayan laifin zina kuma yana da laifin zalunci, wanda tsakanin sa ne kuma da wadda ya zalunta din, amma laifin da yake tsakanin sa da ubangiji dai dai yake da naka kai da kake ganin ka yi da babba a bisa amincewarta.

"ka sani Umar, kuma nasha tunatar da kai akan illar abinda kake aikatawa, na sha gaya maka cewa bashin zina dolen dole duk wanda ya dauka sai ya biya, masifar kuma shine ba'a kanka zaka biya ba akan makusantan ka ne, har na taba tambayar ka cewa ya zaka ji a ranka idan aka yi wa Yasmin, ko akayi wa Mufida? Ka tambayi zuciyarka kaji me take ji? To haka iyayen wadancan suka ji suma. Kuma fadar annabi yace wannan shine somin tabin hukuncin mazinaci, wannan wasa farin girki ne, masifu suna nan tahowa gare ka in dai baka tuba ba masifun da sai sun raba ka da komai a duniya kuma sun tabbatar da kayi karshe marar kyau sannan kuma ka tarar da na kabari ka kuma hadu da ubangiji ranar hisabi. Amma in ka tuba ka bi Allah ka gyara rayuwar ka shi Allah Algafur ne kuma Alrahim. Zai iya ya yafe maka komai yawan zunuban ka indai har ba shirka bace ba, kuma in dai har ranka bai kai gargara ba. Wannan tsakanin ka da Shi ne. Tsakani na da kai ni dai I want you as far away from me and my kids as possible, duk abinda ka jawo bana son in kasance tare da kai sanda zai iso gare ka"

Ya dago kai yana kallona hannunsa dafe da kirjinsa yace "naji, duk abubuwan da kika fada dazu da wadanda kika fada yanzu duk gaskiya ne, kuma da ace kinsan irin balain da ya saukar min bayan na bar gurin ki dazu, da kuma ace zaki iya shiga zuciyata kiji abinda yake cikinta, watakila da kin fahimci cewa ba kya bukatar maimaita min maganganun can, ba kya bukatar gaya min inyi nisa da ku"

"Allah ya san abinda yake zuciyata, kuma kamar yadda kika fada tsakani na da Allah ne, amma duk da haka kema na san na bata miki, dole kema zan nemi gafarar ki, zabin kine ki yafe min ko akasin haka, sai dai kuma ban san da wanne bakin zan nemi gafarar Yasmin ba, tabbas ba ta yi dacen uba ba, tabbas basuyi dacen uba ba. Kuma zama dani shima zabin ki ne, ba zan matsa miki ba kuma zan karbi dukkan hukuncin da zaki yanke a kaina"

Shigowar Abba ya dakatar da shi daga maganar da yake yi. Sai ya sunkuyar da kansa kasa ya kasa daga kai ya kalli Abba, daga dukkan alama yau ne haduwar su ta farko tunda Abba ya san halin Umar. 

Nayi kokarin tashi tsaye ina yiwa Abba sannu da zuwa, ya amsa yana kallon Yasmin da take kokarin rike hannu na a cikin baccin ta. Ya dafa kanta yana karanta mata addu'a yana tofa mata sannan ya juya ya kalli Umar yace "ka tashi ka fita ka bani guri zanyi magana da ƴata" 

Umar bai ce komai ba ya dafa floor ya mike, ina kallon yadda yake layi kamar zai fadi har ya fita waje, sai bayan ya fita sannan Abba ya juyo kaina yace "me ya same ta?" Na cigaba da kuka na sannan na bashi labari kamar yadda naji daga bakin Aunty da kuma bakin police, ya jinjina kai cikin jimanta maganar sannan yace 

"ina so ki bani labarin dukkan abubuwan da suka faru a gidan auren ki".

Na yi shiru ina tsara maganganun a zuciyata sannan na fara bashi labari tun daga yadda mukayi da yaya Jamila kafin bikina da kuma abubuwan da suka yi ta faruwa bayan bikin. Nayi amfani da kalmomi masu dan sauki gurin yi masa bayani yadda zai fahimta kuma ba zan ji girman maganar a bakina ba, na bashi labarin case din Mammy ban boye masa komai ba har abinda Mammy ta fada min na maganar asiri da kuma abinda na tone da hannu na da kuma shi abinda Faruq ya gaya min na cewa bai san duk abinda ya faru a tsakanin su ba. Na kara da cewa

"Wannan shine daya daga cikin dalilin da yasa na cigaba da zama da Umar bayan abinda ya faru, na farko saboda na tabbatar asiri Hajiya tayi masa dan ta raba ni da shi ta saka jikarta dan tana ganin kamar cikin jin dadi nake, na biyu kuma saboda bana son maganar ta fita, dan in maganar nan ta fita to zata ruguza dan kwanciyar hankalin da yake tsakanin mu da yanuwanmu, kuma bani da shaidar da zan nuna cewa asiri aka yi masa dan haka na tabbatar Hajiya zata tabbatar tayi amfani da maganar wajan bata sunana da sunan yayana har zuwa girman su. Sannan kuma bayan faruwar hakan Umar ya shiga tashin hankali da kuma nuna min kamar yayi nadamar gaskiya, sai na dauka rabon shiriyar sane ya saka abin ya faru, sai na kuma bashi dama tare da fatan cewa zai zama na karshe duk kuwa da cewa zama da shi bayan sanin abinda ya shiga tsakaninsu da Mammy ba karamin tashin hankali bane ba a gare ni. But I did it"

Sai kuma na bashi labarin Asabe, tun zuwanta gidan mu da kuma abinda naji daga bakinta da kuma abinda naji daga bakin shi Umar din. 

Yayi shiru idonsa a kasa yana kallon kafafuwan sa, sai kuma yace "na jima ina tunanin cewa mata karamar kwakwalwa ce dasu basu da zurfin tunani, na jima ina ganin mata a matsayin masu raguwar zuciya, saurin gazawa da kuma korafi, wannan shine ya sa ka nake kin saurarar yayana mata akan duk wani korafi da zasu zo min dashi daga gidajen mazajen su, gani nake in na biye musu ba zasu yi zaman aure ba, zasuyi ta kashe auren su ne akan abubuwa marasa ma'ana ballantana tushe, na dauka hakan da nake yi ina basu kariya ne daga rudin zamani, a yau a fahimci cewa abinda na ke tunani ba haka bane ba, a yau na tabbatar mata ba kananan kwakwalwa ne dasu ba dan Jidda zurfin tunanin da kika yi ba kowanne namiji ne ma zaiyi irinsa ba, hakurin da kika yi da kawar da kai ba kowa ne zai iya irinsa ba. Allah yayi miki albarka. Allah ya shiga lamarin ki ya zaba miki mafi alkhairi a rayuwar ki"

Nace "ameen" sai ya mike yace zai koma gida ya turo min Farhan da Amira su taya ni harkar asibiti, ni kuma sai na lissafa masa abubuwan da nake bukata waɗanda zasu taho min da su.

Bayan ya tafi sai na zauna na fara tunanin Abba da iyaye ire-iren sa, they thought they are doing what is best for us, kuma tsoronsu ne ya saka bama iya sakin jiki mu gaya musu magana dan muna ganin ko munyi ba zasu saurare mu ba, but if we find a way to tell them zasu fahimta, kuma insha Allah a karshe za'a samu fahimtar juna dan suna son mu kamar yadda kowane iyaye suke son yayansu, kawai dai basu iya nuna soyayyar bane ba kamar iyayen zamani.

Bai jima da fita ba Umar ya dawo, daga alama daga masallaci yake, ya dawo gaban Yasmin ya tsaya yana kallon ta ya sunkuya yayi kissing goshinta sai kuma ya dauki takardun bills din da na ajiye a gefe ya juya zai fita, har ya kai bakin kofa kuma sai ya dawo ya bude jaka ta ya dauki ATM card dina ya sake fita. 

Na bishi da kallo ina lura da yadda yake tafiya kamar zai fadi. Sai kuma na tashi na shiga toilet nayi alwala na fito nima nayi sallah. Ina idarwa su Farhan suka shigo tare da wani da ban gane ba, har da kayan dubiyar sa a leda ya kawo wa Yasmin sannan yayi min ya mai jiki ya tafi, bayan ya tafi ne Farhan ta gaya min wai sunan sa Sadiq, suka duba Yasmin tare da jajanta abinda ya faru da kuma godiya ga Allah da abin ya tsaya a haka, muna tare kira ya shigo wayata daga Aunty, na dauka ta tambayeni asibitin da muke na gaya mata tace gasu nan zuwa ita da Baba, nayi mamaki saboda nasan shima Baban ba lafiya ce da shi ba. 

Kafin su zo ne Umar ya dawo daga siyan magani, yana tafiya yana dafe bango kana ganin sa kasan ba lafiya ce dashi ba sai na tashi na karbi ledar hannunsa na fara yi masa fadan cewa shima fa bashi da lafiya har da shi aka bawa gado, kafin in karasa fada na ya fado jikina, saura kadan mu zube a kasa gabaki daya sai na rike shi da kyar na karasa da shi gadon da aka kwantar dashi, na kuma tura Amira ta kira ma'aikatan asibitin.

Ina kwantar da shi ya rike hannuna ya dora shi akan kirjinsa, ina jin yadda jikin sa yayi zafi sosai kamar ana gasa nama. Yana magana a hankali amma ban ma ji mai yake cewa ba kuma bani da niyyar sake tambayarsa dan ban damu da inji din ba, sai da nurse ya shigo sannan na zare hannuna daga cikin nasa na kuma gaya wa nurse din cewa in ba allura yayi wa Umar ba to ba zai kwanta ba, kuma zai iya faduwa in yana yawo.

Bai jima da yin bacci ba Baba suka shigo tare da Aunty, na tausaya halin da naga Baba a ciki, na durkusa har kasa na gaishe shi ya amsa tare da tambaya ta abinda ya faru ni kuma na bashi labarin kiran da police suka yi min da kuma abinda suka ce min, Aunty sai ta fara kuka "mun shiga uku mun lalace. Innalillahi wa inna ilaihir rajiun" ta fada tana dafe kan Yasmin da ta dan bude ido kadan tana kallon su. Baba ya ja kujera ya zauna yana ambaton hasbiyallahu wa nieemal wakeel. Sai duk suka yi tagumi suka yi shiru suna tunani, jimawa can Aunty tace "har yanzu kuma su Mama babu wanda yake daukan waya, ko kunyi waya da Mufida?" Na girgiza mata kai kawai. Baba ya juya yana kallon Umar yace "shi kuma wancan fa? Me ya same shi shi kuma?" Nace "faduwa yayi ana gaya masa maganar, shine suka bashi gado ya dan huta" ya gyada kai yace "shi namiji shine da faduwa ke mace ke ce a tsaye? You really are a very strong woman Jidda, da wasu matan ne da yanzu sun cika asibitin nan da koke koke da fadar maganganu marasa dadi, amma ke ga ki nan a tsaye akan yar ki har da sokon babanta da ya kasa daukan kaddara" 

Nayi murmushi ina jin dadin yabon da yayi min, amma kuwa anya ni din strong woman ce? Ni da ko mutum na gani yana kuka sai na taya shi ko da kuwa bansan dalilin kukan nasa ba, ko dai wannan ma is another kind of strength?

Muna cikin jajanta maganar sai wayar Aunty tayi kara, a lokacin already ana kiraye kirayen sallar ishai, ta kalli wayar tace "alhamdulillah, ga Mubaraka nan tana kira na maybe sunyi waya da Mama" duk muka yi shiru muna sauraron ta ta daga wayar "Mubaraka" sai kuma ta bude ido tare da saka salati "asibiti kuma? Mun shiga uku" "to gamu nan zuwa, yanzu kuwa".

Ta dago kai tana kallon Baba, yace "what now?" Ta hadiye yawu tace "Mama ce, wai ashe ta fadi ne a gidan bikin da suka je da Mufida, ashe wai tun dazu suna asibiti da ita, sai yanzu mufidan ta kira Mubaraka ta gaya mata, yanzu mubarakan taje gurin su shine ta kira ni".

Nan take wani tashin hankalin ya karu akan wanda already ake ciki, a karshe sai Baba yace da Aunty taje ta nema wa Yasmin da Umar transfer zuwa asibitin da Mama take, sai mu tafi can kawai gabaki daya tunda yana ganin can din ma zasu fi samun kulawa tunda private hospital ne. Babu jimawa aka gama komai aka yi releasing din mu muka tafi a ambulance din asibitin, su kuma su Baba suka biyo bayan mu a mota. Muna zuwa aka sake duba Yasmin aka sake tabbatar mana da cewa ba'a taba ta ba, suka kuma bamu dakin da da zamu kwana saboda suna so suyi monitoring dinta sosai saboda buguwar da tayi a kanta dan su tabbatar babu wani internal injury. Ni dai daga nan ban san ya suka kare da Umar ba, ban kuma bi ta kan Mama ba na tafi na cigaba da kula da ƴata, su Farhan ma suka yi min sallama suka tafi da driver din su Baba zasu biya gidan su dauki Asad sannan su tafi dashi gida sai da safe zasu dawo. 

Sai da na nutsu sannan nayi waya da Umma na gaya mata abinda ya faru, na tabbatar mata babu abinda ya samu Yasmin sannan bayan munyi sallama sai na kira Diyam itama na gaya mata, hankalin ta ya tashi sosai tayi min jaje sannan tayi min alkawarin zata shigo da safe ta ga jikin Yasmin. Daga nan sai na tashi nayi sallah nayi godiya ga Allah tare da adduoin neman cigaba da kariya daga dukkan masifu. Har zan kwanta sai na gwada number din Mufida dan inji jikin Mama tunda ance tare suka zo asibitin, sai dai wayar tata bata shiga ba, sai na kira Aunty ita kuma tace min jikin da sauki duk da dai har lokacin basu san abinda yake damunta ba, likitoci dai suna tunanin firgita tayi amma basu san abinda ya firgita ta ba.

Kafin in kwanta na samu Yasmin ta tashi na dan bata juice da biscuit a cikin kayan da saurayin Farhan ya kawo mata, ta dan ci kadan sai ta koma ta kwanta amma sai ta kasa baccin tace sai dai in taho kan gadon mu kwanta tare, dole na katse duk abinda nake yi na kashe fitila ba hau gadon muka kwanta tare ta kankame ni ta cusa kanta a kirjina tana ta sauke ajjiyar zuciya cikin tsoro. A haka bacci ya dauke mu.

Sanda na farka dare yayi sosai, ina kokarin mikewa naga Umar akan sallayar da nayi sallah akanta, nayi mamakin yadda akayi ya shigo ama sai na tuna banyi locking kofar ba, sai dai na koma na kwanta. Next farkawa da nayi sai na ganshi a zaune a gaban gadon da muke kai hannayensa rike dana Yasmin, duk da duhun dakin sai da na fahimci yadda idanuwansa suka kumbura kuma suka yi ja. Na jima ina kallon sa ba tare da ya lura ina kallon sa ba, sai kuma na juya na cigaba da bacci na.

*Baba*

Tunda yaji zancen Mama tana asibiti hankalin sa ya tashi, babu abinda yake sai innalillahi wa inna ilaihir rajiun a haka har suka zo asibitin da take din. Sai da ya yi komai ya kammala da jikarsa da dansa ya tabbatar ya hada su da doctors din da zasu gansu sannan ya nemi Mubaraka a waya ita kuma ta kai shi dakin da Mama take. Mufida tana kofar dakin da Mama take ciki ta hada kai da guiwa, sai yaga ta juye masa gabakidaya ta zama kamar ba mufidan da ya sani ba, duk ta firgice ta rikice. 

Ta gaishe shi, yayi mata fadan dalilin da yasa bata daga wayarta ba duk kiran da akeyi mata kuma bata fada cewa Mama ba ta da lafiya ba tun azahar sai dare. Sai tayi masa karya da cewa ta bar jakankunan su ne a mota kuma wayoyin suna ciki kuma ba zata iya fita ta dauki ba tunda babu kowa a gurin Maman. Daga yadda take maganar ya san karya take yi amma bai musa mata ba sai ya shiga ciki. 

Kamar yadda Mufida ta chanja haka ya ga Mama ta chanja masa, yaga kamar tayi wani tsufa tayi kamar wadda ta shekara babu lafiya duk kuwa da cewa idonta a rufe yake. Ya tambayi Mubaraka abinda Doctors suka ce sai ta maimaita masa abinda ta fadi a waya "sunce kamar ta tsorata ne kawai, amma lafiyar ta kalau, sai jininta da suka ce ya hau itama. Kuma tunda nazo take ta fitgita tana kiran Umar wani lokacin kuma ta kira Mufida, in ta farka kuma sai ta kama kuka. Dazu data farka kuma kai take nema tace in kira ka"

Baba ya zauna a gaban gadon yana kallon fuskar ta tare da ambatar sunan ta "Maryam. Maryam gani nazo. Menene ya faru?" 

Ta dan bude idonta a tsorace ta kalle shi sannan ta kalli dakin "ina Umar? Ina Mufida?" Baba ya kalli bayasa shima a dai dai lokacin da Mufida ta juya da sauri ta fita daga dakin, ya dawo da kallon sa kan Mama yace "ba sa nan. A kira wo miki su?" Sai ta mayar da idonta ta rufe tare da girgiza kai sai kuma tayi wa yaya Mubaraka magana "jeki waje ki bamu guri", sai bayan da ta fita sannan ta dawo da hankalin ta kan Baba da ya riga ya gama rudewa tace "magana nake so muyi, ina so in nuna maka irin tarin nadamar da take tare da ni akan kuskuren da nayi a tarbiyyar yayanmu, wanda kuskuren nawa shi ya jawo tarbiyyar su ta gurbata, gurbata kuma mafi muni" ta fada hawaye yana zuba a idonta. 

Sai ya rike hannunta yace "uhm uhm, ba laifin ki bane ba. Ni nafi kallon abin a matsayin laifina. Da ace na zauna tare da yayana na taya ku tarbiyyar su na taya ku saka ido a kansu da Umar bai zama abinda ya zama yanzu ba. Ana gaya min kin fadi a gidan biki dama maganar dana kawo a raina kenan, na san wani abu ne da ya danganci halayyar Umar kika ji ko kika gani. Ki gaya min Hajiya Maryam, mai kika ji? Mai kika gani?" 

Ta rufe idonta tana kokarin cire munanan hotunan yayanta daga zuciyarta tace "abinda na gani ina fatan kar Allah ya nuna maka shi. Abinda na gani ina fatan babu wata uwa da zata kuma ganin irinsa a duniya, ko da kuwa uwa ce irina mai take laifin yayanta saboda son zuciyata" Baba yace "inna lillahi wa inna ilaihir rajiun. Maryam ki gaya min abinda kika gani" tace "har abada bakina ba zai furta abinda na gani ba, zan tafi da shine zuwa kabari na. Kafin mutuwa ta kuma Zan dauki abinda na gani a matsayin darasi, babban darasi a gare ni da zai saka in gyara halaye na, in sauka daga kan hanyar da nake kai ta son kai da son zuciya in koma kan hanyar gaskiya ko Allah zai dube ni ya taya ni gyaran yayana" 

Baba yace "ƴaƴan ki? Ko dai dan ki kike so ki ce?" Ta girgiza kai. "Yayan mu Alhaji Muhammad. Yayan mu. Zina tayi naso a cikin zuriar mu. Dole sai mun tashi tsaye dan ganin mun dakile ta in ba haka ba zata mamaye mu gabaki daya ba tare da mun sani ba" 

Ya saki hannunta ya dafe nasa kan yana jujjuya shi kawai cikin tashin hankali. Ta sake kamo hannunsa tace "ni yanzu alfarma nake nema a gurin ka. Dan Allah. Ina so ka samo wani babban mutum mai mutuncin wanda ka san yana ganin darajar mu kuma zai rike mana amanar mu, ina so ka daura wa Mufida aure a cikin satin nan"

Ya bude idonsa yana kallon ta tashin hankalin sa yana karuwa yace "Mufida? Hajiya mai kika gani? Mufida kika gani da Umar?" Ta girgiza kanta "Mufida na gani da Umar, amma ba irin ganin da kake nufi ba. Ni dai dan Allah kayi min wannan alfarmar, ka samu tsayayyen namiji wanda ba zata gagare shi ba. Ka daura mata aure a cikin satin nan".

Ya sunkuyar da kansa kasa, baya bukatar ta gaya masa cewa abinda ta gani yana da dangantaka da cewa Mufida ita ma ta bi layin Umar.



Ga masu son siya zasu iya turo kudin su #300 zuwa wannan account din

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*wannan littafin na siyarwa ne bisa amana, idan baki siya ba kar ki karanta, idan kuma kin siya kar kiyi sharing, idan kika yi kinci amana kuma ke da Allah*

*The Letter* 

Da asuba da na farka Umar baya dakin, sai na tashi nayi alwala nayi sallah, ina cikin adduoi na ya sake shigowa, nayi shiru ina jin haushin dalilin da yasa zai ke shigo mana daki bayan nasan shima an bashi na sa. 

Ya sake komawa kan kujerar da nake tunanin akai ya kwana, ya zauna tare da kife fuskar sa a kusa da ta Yasmin, sai na gyara zamana akan sallayar na cigaba da azkar dina sai kuma naji muryar Yasmin tana magana cikin tsoro "mommy! Mommy" na mike da sauri na tafi gurinta a lokacin da shima Umar yake mikewa daga zaunen da yake yana rike ta. "Mamana! Mamana! Daddy is here. I am here" 

Ta zagaye hannunta a wuyansa tana jera ajjiyar zuciya, na karasa kusa da su ina shafa bayanta ina tofa mata duk adduoin da suka zo bakina. Sai kuma ta dago kai tana kallona sannan ta saka kuka "mommy! Ni ba zan koma gidan Mama ba tunda tafiya tayi ta bar mu kuma Asad yake ta kuka wai zai taho gurinki, shine na ce ya zauna inje in kira daddy ya kai mu gurin ki, shine kuma ban ga daddyn ba shine na fita waje ina neman sa, shine wani yace inzo ya kaini gurinsa, kuma bai Kai ni ba sai ya kaini want guri kamar gidan dodo, Ni kuma nayi kuka nace ya kaini gurinsa daddy na, shine ya ke dukana wai in daina kuka, kuma... kuma...kuma shine ya daure min hannuna, shine nake kuka ina kiranki kizo ki hana shi duka na, kuma baki zo ba, kuma daddy ma bai zo ba....kuma ni ban san me nayi masa ba, daddy me nayi masa?" 

Ta fada tana kallon Umar, ya saka hannu ya goge mata hawayen fuskarta yace "Babu abinda kika yi masa daughter, shi din azzalumi ne kuma sai Allah ya saka miki kinji?" Ta gyada kai tana kallona kamar mai jiran taji abinda ni ma zance sai na shafa kanta nace "ba zai kuma kama ki ba kinji, Allah ba zai bar shi ko wani azzalumin ya kuma kama ki ba kinji? Zamu ke yin azkar kullum da safe da kuma da yamma, Allah ba zai bar wani ko wata halitta ta mutum ko aljan ya kuma taba ki da niyyar zalunci ba kinji?" 

Ta sake gyada kai tana sauke ajiyar zuciya, har yanzu fuskarta cike take da tsoro. Ina lura da Umar yana ta kokarin ganin bai bari ta ga hawayen sa ba, ya taba ciwon goshinta ta danyi wincing tare da rike hannunsa. Ya juyo yana kallona yace "in an zo duba ta ki ce su sake duba ciwon na, naji kamar yayi tauri kuma gurin yayi duhu, ina tsoran kar ya zama infected" na gyada kai kawai. Sai shima ya sunkuyar da kansa sannan yace "kin duba ta? Ko su suka duba ta? Me suka yi mata a gurin mai suka ce?" 

Nace "me zasu yi mata banda suyi mata dinki su bata magani?" Ya rintse idonsa tare da dafe kansa yace "innalillahi wa inna ilaihir rajiun. Wanne wacce irin masifa ce ta saukar mana Jidda? Yarinyar nan is just a baby, how can they?"

Na dauke kaina gefe nace "exactly ta yadda ake yi ta haka akayi, ko in bude maka ka gani?" Ya girgiza kansa sannan ya dafe kan da hannu biyu yace "I can't, I can't" ya juyo yana kallona yace "did you?" Na gyada kaina a hankali bance komai ba, yace "how bad is it?" Na sake yin shiru ban ce komai ba sai ya mike tsaye tare da kwantar da ita a hankali, Ina lura da yadda yake lallabata, sai ya jawo drawer din magunguna ya dauko allurar pain relief din da suka sako mata a ciki, probably saboda ciwon goshinta, yazo ya bude cannula din hannuta yayi mata sannan ya juyo yana tambaya ta in akwai abinda muke so. Shiru na sake yi masa sai kuma yafita, yana fita na bi bayansa na rufe kofar sannan na dawo naci gaba da lallaba Yasmin.

Ranar da wuri Amira tazo tare Asad da Abba, Abba ya duba jikin Yasmin ya tambayi ko muna da abinda muke nema nace masa babu komai sai ya tafi ya bar Amira da Asad a gurina, Asad yana ta murna tare da kuma complain din duk mun tafi mun bar shi shi kadai yana ta kuka yana neman mu, na lallabashi tare da bashi fruits a cikin ledar da saurayin Farhan ya kawo mana, sai kuma na tashi Yasmin na bata abincin da Amira ta kawo mana kuma na samu taci sosai ta sha ruwa har suna ta hirarsu da Asad. 

Sai kuma ga mufida ta shigo tare da aunty suma sun kawo mana abinci, aunty tana ta murnar ganin jikin Yasmin yayi kyau har tana tsokanar ta, Mufida kuma na lura da yadda tayi wani irin chanjawa kamar ba ita ba ta zama kamar mutum mutumi, na tambaye su jikin Mama suka ce da sauki, na san ya kamata inje in duba ta amma ban je ba har suka gama zamansu a nan suka tafi.

Basu jima da fita ba Diyam ta zo itama tare da Subay'a, itama ta ji dadin ganin Yasmin tana magana har da dariya duk da dai tana complain kanta yana mata ciwo. Wannan yasa muka saka Amira ta dauki yara suka fita dan kar su dame ta, basu jima da fitar ba kuwa sai tayi bacci. 

Bayan tayi baccin ne muka samu muka yi magana sosai na vata labarin abinda ya faru da kuma hukuncin da na yanke na boyewa Umar gaskiyar abinda ya faru dan ina so ya cigaba da dauka cewa anyi din  dan ya kara samun regret, duk da nasan nan gaba zai iya sanin gaskiyar magana amma Ina fatan kafin ya sani din yayi nisa a cikin nadamar sa. Sai kuma na gaya mata fear dina na cewa wannan attack din on Yasmin kamar somin ta bi ne, bisa la'akari da irin tarin laifuffan babanta a wannan bangaren.

Sai ta yaba wa idea ta ta boye wa Umar gaskiya amma kuma sai ta kwantar min da hankali ta hanyar bani misalai da yawa akan mutanen da suke lalatattu sannan kuma sai Allah ya fitar da shiryayyu daga gare su, kamar yadda yakan iya fitar da Yaya masu munin hali daga jikin iyaye tsarkaka. Ta kuma sake encouraging dina akan dagewa da addua akan kaina da kuma yayana, amma kuma sai tace "amma kuma ba kya ganin kamar babanta wannan karon da gaske ya gyaru?" Na tabe baki nace "ban sani ba, Umar is very unpredictable, a duk sanda na kama shi da laifi yana irin haka ai, jiya da dare har da su tashi yayi sallar dare, amma ya kan yi hakan dama a lokuta da dama kuma daga baya ya cigaba da halayyar sa, dan haka a yanzu ma bani da tabbas and I am not going to take chances gaskiya, dan naga kamar kina son kiyi min magana ne akan komawa gidan sa" tayi dariya "Ni va haka nace ba, mayar da wukar, kawai dai ji nayi na fara jin tausayin sa musamman da kika ce min ya fadi. Yana son yarsa sosai kuma for him to think anyi raping his five years old daughter gaskiya dole a tausaya masa" na bata rai "kafin zancen Yasmin ma something has happened, something related to him da kuma Mufida duk da bansan ko menene ba amma nasan yana da dangantaka da dalilin da yasa maman su take asibiti a yanzu. Kuma ya gaya min wai ya hadu da wata masifa bayan ya bar gidan mu jiya ".

Na rike "na shiga uku ni Halima, kar dai garin dauke dauken sa aka dauko masa kanwarsa. Kin san kin gaya min dama itama kamar ta fara daukan hanyarsa?" Na daga kafada "I don't know, and to be frank with you I don't want to know gaskiya. Ni yanzu bani da interest akan duk wani abu da ya shafesu interest dina kawai akan yayana ne. Da kuma fatan zai bani takarda ta ba tare da an kai ruwa rana ba. Fatana kawai in samu in tsayar da hankali na guri daya in bawa yayana tarbiyya" 

Ta yi shiru tana kallona sannan tace "you are innocent Jidda, you don't deserve all this mess" nayi murmushi tare da girgiza kaina "no am not. Akwai laifuffa na a cikin abubuwan da suka faru. I was warned akan Umar tun farkon fari amma soyayyar sa ta rufe min ido na kasa ganin gabana, ko bayan auren mu ma I should have acted faster than I did, amma na cigaba da zama da kuma cigaba da bashi uzuri da kuma cigaba da bashi chances ina gaya wa kaina cewa hakan da nake you shine dai dai bayan in reality still soyayyar sa ce take sawa har nake bashi wadancan madammakin. Dan haka I deserve all what has and is still coming my way"

Sai tayi kokarin lightening mood din ta hanyar tambayata game da auren da Umar yace za'a daura masa da Asabe "an daura din kuwa?" Na yi dariya "ni ban sani ba fa, bai sake yi min maganar ba kuma babu wanda yayi min maganar a yanuwansa. Ban sami ba ko an daura din" tayi dariya "kuma haka ake kishiyar babu kayan fadar kishiya balle a gaiyace mu mune dannar kirji?" 

Nima nayi dariya "sai dai a gayyace ku diban kaya ba wai dannar kirji ba" tace "ke kuwa ki bar mata kayan ki mana, a matsayin ki na uwar dakinta ai dama ke ya kamata kiyi mata kayan daki" nace "kinga kuwa dama kayan sun dace da ita, sai ku rakani in debo mana kawai sauran kayan sawar mu da sauran kayan amfani, sai ta samu ma ta tare sosai tunda bedroom dina shi yafi dacewa da ita a matsayin ta na matar gida, kinga wannan kawar tata shikenan buri ya cika sai take zuwa gidan a matsayin gidan kawarta" 

Sai kuma Diyam din ta koma serious tace "ni fa wasa nake yi, amma har a raina bana son auren nan, ke kuma sai nake ganin kamar babu abinda ya dame ki" na daga kafada "kamar kin sani kuwa, babu abinda ya dame ni, in fact na ma ji dadi da za'a yi auren dan ya zama darasi ga Umar"

Da zata tafi ne tayi min sallama akan cewa zasu tafi Canada gurin surikan ta tare da maigidan ta da Subay'a da twins, na  rakata har bakin mota suka tafi tare da alkawarin zamuyi waya

Kwanan mu uku a asibitin aka sallame mu, a cikin kwana ukun nan kullum Umar a gurin mu yake kwana amma da rana bana ganinsa kuma ban taba neman sa ba. Kwanan mu biyu a asibitin naje na duba Mama sai dai na lura da yadda take ta kokarin kin hada ido da ni, ban san dalili ba kuma ban tambaya ba tunda na gaishe ta tayi shiru nima nayi muka jima a haka sai na tashi na tasa Asad a gaba muka tafi. 

A ranar da aka sallame mu ne bayan naje gida Abba ya kira ni yake gaya min cewa ya kira waliyin Umar yayi masa maganar takarda ta "ina ta daga musu kafa ne saboda ina ganin mutuncin iyayen sa kuma gashi uban babu lafiya" na dago kai nace "har maman ma tana asibiti" yayi shiru "amma bana son zaman ki da aure a kanki, kuma vana

So nake da zan samu in karbi takardar sai ki tafi gurin ummanki kiyi idda a can" 

Nayi shiru bance komai ba ina jin kalmar idda tayi min nauyi a zuciyata. Sai yace in tashi in tafi. Na dauka zaiyi min magana akan zancen da na gaya masa akan Hajiya amma sai naji bai ce komai ba. 

A ranar da dare Umar ya kira ni, ina ganin kiransa na fahimci cewa yaje dakin da muka zauna kamar yadda ya saba zuwa da daddare ya tarar bama nan. Sai na amsa kiran amma sai na sakawa Yasmin wayar a kunnenta ina kallon yadda murmushin ta ya fadada tace "Daddy mun dawo gidan Abba, yaushe zaka zo ka dauke mu mu koma gidan mu?" Sai kuma naga ta bata rai ta miko min wayar. Na karba wata zuciyar tana ce min in katse kiran in ajiye wayar amma dai sai na saka a kunne na nace "hello?" Yace "yanzu saboda Allah ace an sallame ku amma ba zaki gaya min ba? Ko message ai ya kamata ace kin tura min in ba zaki iya kirana ba" nace "ban dauka kana bukatar sani ba" yace "ina bukatar sani? Yasmin ce fa babu lafiya, ƴata ce fa a asibitin" da sauri nace "yanzu ai ka san an sallame ta ko? Sai me kake bukata kuma? Akwai wani abu ne da kake so?" 

Sai ya danyi shiru, daga alama ya rasa abinda zai ce ne, Umar of all people ya rasa abinda zai ce? Sai kuma yace "kiyi hakuri in tambayar da nayi laifi ce. Allah ya huci ziciyarki" na juya idona ina mamakin yadda zai making maganar to sound as if I am the bad guy. Nace "ameen tunda haka ka dauka amma ni ina da more important things to do than jin haushinka, na kuma fadawa yanuwanka da suke asibitin dan haka na dauka zaka ji a gurin su. In yarka kake son gani you are always welcome ka zo ka aiko a kira maka ita ka ganta, in kuma muryar su kake son ji I suggest ka siya musu karamar waya ka basu yadda zaka ke kiran su duk sanda kake so" 

Sai na katse kiran tare da yin tsaki, wai shi ya dauka dan zaman da mukayi a asibiti hakan yana nufin mun shirya kenan?

Bai daddara ba da sassafe sai gashi ya sake kira, lokacin Yasmin ma bata tashi daga bacci ba sai na dauki kiran na mikawa Asad wayar, ai kuwa ya kama zance kamar an bude pampo sai da yayi iyakacin yin sa sannan ya miko min wayar wai Daddy yace ya bani. Na karba sai na kashe na ajiye. Jimawa kadan sai ga sako ya shigo daga gare shi.

"I lost everything Jidda. My job, my dignity, my parents and my daughter's dignity. Ke kadai kika yi min saura. Please kar ki bari in rasa ki kema"

Na karanta na ajiye wayar ina jin zafi a raina, sai kuma na dauka na aika masa da reply 

"You lost me tun kafin ka rasa wadancan. It is over. Get over it" 

Na aika masa sai kuma na zauna ina tunanin abinda yake nufi da cewa ya rasa iyayensa dan ni nasan har jiya suna nan da ransu duk su biyun sai dai in yanzu da safe suka wuce. But ai dai ba zai kira ni har suyi hira da Asad ba idan har iyayen sa sun mutu da safen nan. 

Sai ya turo min da wani sakon 

"Bani da lafiya Jidda"

Nayi masa reply

"Allah ya baka lafiya yasa kaffara ce"

"Bana jin zan tashi Jidda. Nafi tunanin mutuwa zanyi"

"Allah yaji kanka ya yafe kurakuran ka" 

Sai kawai na kashe wayar dan nasan ba rabuwa zai yi dani ba. 

Da yamma yayan Hajiya suka zo gidan gabakidayan su, ina ganin su babu wanda yace min wani abu bayan gaisuwa nima babu wanda na cewa komai, daga baya kuma sai na ga sun hau saman Abba gabakidayan su, tun daga inda nake ina jiwo fadan Abba muryar sa har dashewa tayi akan fada amma bana gane me yake cewa sosai, sai daga baya sai gasu sun sauko. Amira ta leka ta tsakanin labule tana tsegumi sai tace min Mama Sa'a suna ta kuka ita da Hajiya, sai nace ta duba min ko anzo da Mammy, ta duba tace bata ganta ba.

Sai dare duk suka watse, a lokacin ne Farhan ta shigo inda muke ta saka ni a gaba da tambaya wai tana son jin gaskiyar abinda ya hada ni da su Hajiya, wai Abba yace sune silar da na baro gidan mijina nake zaune a gida, wai Abba yace asiri suka yi suna son Umar ya sake ni ya auri Mammy, wai kuma tana son ta ji gaskiyar me ye tsakanin Umar da Mammy. 

Na girgiza kaina "Farhan Hajiya mahaifiyar ki ce, ko me tayi marar kyau ba zaki so ki ji shi ba, da ma dai ace abin bai riga ya faru ba shine zan iya gaya miki ko zaki iya preventing amma ya riga ya faru daga ni har ke babu abinda zamu iya yi akai sai dai mu dauki darasi daga abinda ya faru dan gudun faruwar sa a gaba. shima Abba na gaya masa ne ba dan ya dauki mataki ba sai dan yasan gaskiyar abinda ya faru. Sunyi min ba dai dai ba tabbas, amma Allah ya riga ya saka min tun kafin ma insan sunyi din. Dan haka ni babu wani abu a tsakani na da su sai fatan alkhairi"

Ta yi shiru duk zuciyarta babu dadi, sai tace " yanzu me kike ciki? Zaki koma gidan Umar ne?" Sai na girgiza kai da sauri. "Ban san me Allah ya rubuta min ba, amma ni in a zabi nane zance na gama auren Umar Farhan, auren Umar ya fitar min daga raina gabaki daya. Sai dai ko da mun rabun ina so ki san cewa ba saboda Hajiya ko Mammy ko wani ne daban ba ne, zan rabu da shi ne saboda shi, saboda na gaji da halin sa" ta dafa ni "amma fa ni ina ganin kamar ya bari da gaske, naga yayi laushi da yawa Allah kuwa, kin san dai am not a fan of Umar tun kuna dating ballantana kuma da nasan halin sa amma still ina jin tausayin sa kwanan nan duk sanda na ganshi ballantana ma a asibitin nan" tayi murmushi ta kara da cewa "duk da dai ance "kowa ya tuba dan wuya ba lada" nayi murmushi nima nace "fadin hausawa ne kawai. Tuba duk tuba ne idan dai har mutum ya tuba ne daga zuciyarsa kuma tsakanin sa da Allah. Kuma ni a iyakacin sanina ma da wahala ki ga mutumin da yayi nisa a aikata sabo kawai ya tuba yana cikin jin dadin aikata sabon, da yawa sai wani abu ya faru mai taba zuciyarsu sannan imani yake dawo musu, kuma in sun tuba in dai har taubatun nasuha ne ana saka ran Allah zai karba insha Allah, tsakanin su ne da shi. In dai har taubatun nasuha Umar yayi ina masa fatan alkhairi, komawa gidansa ne dai kuma ba zanyi ba"

Haka kwanaki suka ja. Kullum Umar sai ya kira ni ni kuma in bawa yaransa suyi magana. Sai ya cigaba da yi min messages ta text message da kuma through WhatsApp amma sai na daina kula shi, sometimes ma bana karantawa sai in goge dan bana son ya fadi abinda zai dame ni. He kept saying bashi da kowa sai ni, kuma bashi da lafiya and other stuffs, and I ignored him. 

Ranar nan he texted me cewa wai Baffa Halilu ya kira shi yace wai yana umartar sa da ya rubuta takarda ya bani. 

"Jidda I don't know what to do. Baba yaki saurara ta. And I can't even talk to Mama. Ban san ma wa zanyi wa magana ba dan bani da kowa sai Allah sai ke"

And I replied

"If you trust Him then He will guide you"

Daga nan ya dauke min wuta, ya daina text din, sai dai ya kan kira in hada shi da yayansa suyi magana shikenan. 

Sai kuma ranar nan ina kwance ina baccin rana kamar yadda na saba sai naji muryar Abba yana kira na. Na tashi da sauri na amsa sai ya leko palon Umma yace in shirya in je sitting room munyi baki. Na koma toilet na wanke fuskata sannan na saka hijab na gaya wa Amira ta kula da yara zanje in dawo sannan na fita. 

A sitting room din na samu bakin, Abba da Baba da Baffa halilu da Mama, sai kuma Umar a can bakin kofar shigowa a zaune. Na durkusa daga bakin kofar da na shigo na gaishe su suka amsa min, Baba har da tambayata yara, sai na zauna ina lissafa yatsun hannuna ina lura da yadda Umar ko dago kai bai yi ya kalle ni ba. 

Baffa Halilu ne ya fara magana "to kusan dai nasan kowa ya san maganar da ta kawo mu nan, amma ba wai zuwa mukayi dan muyi ta mayar da magana ba, zuwa muka yi dan mu tura abinda ya faru ya wuce mu kuma fuskanci abinda yake gaban mu"

"Ni dai nine waliyin Umar, ni nazo na nema masa aure kuma ni na riko sadakin sa na bayar na karbar masa aure, amma kuma ban san duk matsalar da ake ciki ba sai yanzu. Sai yanzu da mahaifin yarinyar nan yayi min magana yace wai yana bukatar a bashi takardar ƴar sa shi baya so ta cigaba da zama da aure a kanta, sai a lokacin ya ke gaya min duk abubuwan da suka faru wadanda ni ban sani ba saboda bana gari. Bayan ya gaya min ne kuma na samu mahaifin Umar shima ya gaya min nasa bangaren naji. Bana bukatar jin magana daga bakin ki ke Jidda ko kuma daga gurinka kai Umar dan ina ganin kusan duk abinda zaku fada din an riga an fada. Kuma dukkan bangarori biyun sun yadda akan magana daya ba wai an samu rashin fahimta bane ba. Wannan ya sa naxe zan zaunar daku a tare gabakidaya ni kuma in fadi tawa fahimtar watakila ko za'a samu maslaha" 

"Tabbas abinda ya faru dukkan mu mun amince cewa laifi na Umar ne, shima kuma da nayi magana dashi ya karbi laifin sa, amma ni kuma sai nake ganin kamar laifin iyayensa yafi yawa akan nasa, amma hakan ba yana nufin cewa bashi da laifi ba dan laifin su a gurin Allah sam bai kai yawan nasa laifin ba dan duk abinda ya aikata da hankalinsa ya aikata shi. Sai dai abinda nake nuna mana shine da ace iyayen sa sun kyautata gurin tarbiyyar sa da bamu samu kan mu a inda muke a yanzu ba. Kuma a ganina laifin mahaifin sa yafi yawa akan na mahaifiyar sa tunda ita mahaifiyar sa at least zamu ce tayi iyakacin kokarin ta shi kuma mahaifin sa shine ya saki tarbiyyar gabaki daya ya mayar da hankalinsa kan kasuwancin sa" 

Daga nan kuma a laifi sai shi mahaifin Jidda, wanda maybe da ya tsaurara bincike a lokacin aurar da yarsa da ya bankado halin Umar da bamu sani ba, watakila da yayi haka da ya ankarar da iyayen Umar halin dansu kuma da sun dauki mataki tun a lokacin, laifin sa ma biyu kuma shine rashin jan yayansa a jiki yadda zasu iya gaya masa abinda yake damun su, da ace da akwai kyakykyawar dangantaka a tsakaninsu da tun farko da ta fahimci halin mijinta da gurin iyayenta zata zo, maybe da tun lokacin za'a yi maganin matsalar. Sai ita kuma kuma Jidda, she should have try ta samu hanyar gayawa magabata ba wai ta rike abin a ranta tana tunanin zai wuce ba, abinda addini ya tsara shine irin wannan maganar sai a gaya wa magabata su kuma sai su bi tsarin shari'ar wajen ganin an samu dai dai to"

Mama tayi gyaran murya tace "akwai laifina a nan" duk suka juyo suna kallon ta ban da ni da Umar sai tace "Jidda ta gaya min. Ta aiko babbar yar mu ta gaya min. Amma sai zuciyata ta ki yarda da maganar a karshe ma sai nayi kokarin dora laifi a kanta dan ina ganin kamar zuciyata ba zata dauki kasancewar maganar gaskiya ba, dana binciki maganar tun a lokacin watakila da na samo gaskiya, wata kila da bamu zo inda muke a yanzu ba, da abubuwan da suka faru ba su faru ba, watakila da ban ga abinda na gani ba"

Ta karasa maganar tana kuka, Baba ya yunkuro da bacin rai kamar zaiyi mata fada akan cewa na gaya mata amma bata dauki mataki ba kuma bata gaya masa ba sai Baffa ya dakatar da shi. "Kamar yadda na fada tun farko, ba mu zo gurin nan dan mayar da magana ba. Nazo ne dan in fada wa kowa laifinsa sai kuma mu san matakin da zamu dauka"

"Yanzu na gama fadar laifi, sai kuma abinda nake ganin shine a kamata muyi. Abu na farko shine dole mu gyara tushen matsalar, ma'ana Umar, abinda bamu bashi a da ba wato tarbiyya dole ita zamu bashi a yanzu, bashi tarbiyya kuwa ba yana nufin ignoring dinsa ba kamar yadda iyayensa suke yi a yanzu, ba shi tarbiyya ba yana nufin aura masa mai aikin matarsa wadda ake zargin sa da cewa ya lalata ba, bashi tarbiyya a gani na yana nufin jan shi a jiki, keeping him busy with something good, samar masa aikin yi, dora shi akan tafarkin Allah da kuma tunatar da shi girman laifin da yake yi" 

"A ganina wannan auren da kuka yi masa bashi da wata ma'ana, ta yaya mutumin da yake auren kamilalliyar mace, kyakykyawa mai tarbiyya da ilimin addini da kuma na zamani dadin dadawa kuma wadda yake so amma bai daina halin sa ba sai kuma a aura masa wadda take totally opposite sannan ayi tunanin zai daina? Ta yaya? Tabbas Umar ba yaro bane ba yasan dai dai ya san ba dai dai na amma a ganina there is no harm in guiding him, making it easier for him to do the right thing"

Baba yace "ni ban yiwa Umar aure dan wai ya daina halinsa ba, nayi aura masa yarinyar can ne dan in koya masa darasi kuma dan in cika alkawarin da na dauka wa iyayen yarinyar wanda a ganina idan ba'a yi haka ba tamkar an zalinci yarinyar ne. Daina halin shi ko rashin daina wa is all up to him, shi kadai zaiyi deciding zai daina kuma ya daina din" 

Baffa yace "but we can still help him ai, with prayers, nasiha and guidance. A ganina ita case din yar aikin ba dai iyayenta suna gudun abin kunya bane ba shi yasa suka dage akan ya aure ta? To an daura auren. Zama da ita ko rashin zama da ita ku barshi a matsayin choice din Umar. In yaga zai zauna da ita a matsayin mata fine in kuma ba zai zauna da ita ba kar ku takura masa a bisa hakan dan takura masan will do more harm than good a ganina. Idan ana maganar aure ana maganar zuri'a ne, idan kuwa ana neman kyakykyawar zuri'a to ana neman tsatso ne mai kyau. A shawarce Iyayenta su kawo ta nan gidan ku a bata daki ta zauna, sai shi kuma ku bashi lokaci idan a cikin lokacin ya ga zai zauna da ita fine, idan kuma ba zai zauna da ita ba sai ya sauwake mata ta koma gidan iyayenta a matsayin bazawara kunga an yi musu maganin wannan abin kunyar da suka ce suna tsoro. Shi kuma ba'a sake tura shi ga halaka ba"

"Abu na gaba kuma shine a shawarce gabaki dayan ku kuna bukatar break from each other, Umar kansa yana bukatar break daga gare ku ku iyayen sa kuma kuma haka, idan har kuna tare maganar ba lallai ta mutu a zuciyoyin ku ba amma ku bashi space yaje yayi tunani akan girman laifuffukan sa sannan ya fahimci inda ya tsaya da kuma inda zai dora a rayuwa. Ku ma kuma ku huce ku daina ganinsa for sometimes, duk da nasan abubuwan ba zasu wuce a zukatan ku ba amma zaku huce kadan" 

Baba yace "ina zai je kenan a ganinka?" Baffa yace "Lagos" ba Mama ba har ni sai da muka dago kai muka kalle shi. Mama tace "Lagos? Ji nake zaman Lagos din yana daya daga cikin abinda ya kai shi inda yake a yanzu? Sai kuma ya sake komawa a yanzu da ya kamata ya kara nisa da garin?" 

Baffa yace "ita shiriya ai ba a gari take ko a cikin mutanen garin take ba, ita shiriya a zuciya ta ke. Idan har Umar da gaske yake abinda ya fada cewa yayi tuba na gaskiya then zaman Lagos ba zai saka ya dawo ba. Eh tabbas gari yana da tasiri a wajen bayar da tarbiyya amma Umar already yana da tarbiyya, already tasan right and wrong ba wai yaro bane ba shi. Kuma ina so mu sani cewa akwai shiryayyun mutane a Lagos kamar wadda yake da akwai lalatattun mutane a Saudiyya. Abinda ya sa nake son ka tura shi Lagos din dan a can ne zaiyi fighting temptations din sa sosai, kuma a can ne zai samu abin yi. Tunda anan ba aiki yake yi ba kawai zaman kashe wando yake yi. Mahaifin sa kuma ba cikakkiyar lafiya ce da shi ba. Dukkan harkokin kasuwancin sa na can sai ya damka masa a hannunsa ya barshi ya cigaba shi kuma ya zauna a gefe ya saka masa ido akai. In ya ga dama ma zai iya komawa makarantar addini a can din dan akwai su da yawa, in bai ga dama ba ya bari, wannan a zuciya yake in an tilasta masa yaje din ma in babu abin a zuciyarsa karatun da wa'azin duk ba zasu ke shigar sa ba. Amma in akwai abin a zuciyarsa ko bai koma makaranta ba zai gyara rayuwarsa, ko sallah ya tsayar yake yi akan lokaci zata gyara masa rayuwar sa".

"Sai maganar data kawo mu nan baki daya, maganar auren Umar da Jidda. Duk abubuwan da suka faru a gidan auren su mu waliyansu bamu sani ba sai yanzu. Dan haka ni a matsayina na waliyyin Umar ina nema masa alfarma a gurin iyayen Hauwa'u da suyi hakuri. Su sake bamu wata damar. Mu zasu bawa dama ba Umar ba. Idan har Umar yayi wasa da damarsa ko ince damar mu dan tamu ce ba tasa ba, ni da kaina zan karbi takardarta a hannunsa in bata" 

Abba ya girgiza kai "gyara muke kokarin yi. Gyaran dan ku kuke kokarin yi. Gyaran kuskuren ku kuke kokarin yi kamar yadda ni ma nake kokarin gyaran nawa kuskuren" Baba yayi saurin cewa "Dan Allah Alhaji kar ka ce ba zata koma ba. Nauyin ka da girman laifin yaron nan ya saka na kasa zuwa tunda abin nan ya faru ballantana in baka hakuri, amma yanzu ka duba darajar mu......"

Abba yace "ita na duba a lokacin da na bada auren Jidda, darajar taku ce ta rufe min ido har na kasa bincike mai kyau a kansa kamar yadda ya dace. Wannan shine kuskure na. Wannan shine abinda nake so in gyara. Ba zan hana Jidda komawa gidan mijinta ba indai har hakan shine abinda take so kamar yadda ba zan tursasa mata ta koma ba in hakan shine abinda bata so. Gatanan ga ku. Idan zata koma yanzu ma zata iya dauko kayanta ku tafi. Amma idan tace bata so ina son kuma kuyi respecting din decision dinta ku barta"

Na yi shiru kaina a sunkuye duk ina jin maganganun su. Baffa Halilu ya kira sunana na amsa ba tare da na dago kai na kalle shi ba sai yayi min straight tambaya "kina son Umar kina kuma son ki koma gidan sa?"

Na dago kai na kalli Umar wanda yake opposite dina, zuciya ta ta buga saboda tsoron da yanayin sa ya bani. Ya koma kamar skeleton mai fata. Farar Fatarsa tay duhu sosai lips dinsa duk sun bushe, kayan jikinsa a hargitse. 

Na mayar da kaina kasa sannan a hankali nace "ina son Umar Baffa. Amma kuyi hakuri. Allah shine shaidata bana son cigaba da auren sa, aurensa ya fita daga raina gabaki daya"

Duk gurin yayi shiru. Sai Mama ta sauko kusa da ni ta dafa ni "Jidda. Ki duba darajar yayan da suke tsakanin ku. Dan Allah kiyi hakuri ki koma gidan mijinki. Kiyi hakuri da duk abinda yayi miki da wanda ni nayi miki ki yafe mana ki....." 

Na dago kai ina kallon ta nace "na yafe masa Mama, na yafe miki ke ma. Amma aurensa na gama" 

Zata sake magana sai Baba ya sauko ya kama ta ya mayar da ita kan kujera, ina jin sheshshekar kukan ta daga baya but for the first time in my life naji babu hawaye a nawa idon. My mind was already set. Na san abinda nake so and I am standing by it.

Naji Baffa yace "to Umar kaji. Cikin mu kuma babu wanda zai matsa mata. Decision dinta ne kuma ta riga ta yanke"

Sai naji Umar yayi maganar sa ta farko tunda yazo gurin. 

"Babu komai Baffa, na gode da dukkan kulawa" 

Sai ya mike ya fita waje. Duk mutanen gurin suka bi shi da kallo. I thought ya bar unguwar ne ma. Sai kuma gashi ya sake dawowa falon ya zo gabana ya durkusa, ban dago ido na na kalle shi ba sai ya mika min wata farar takarda sannan yace "gashi. Thank you for everything".

Na saka hannu na a hankali na karbi kar karamar takardar da tafi kama da wadda aka yago daga jikin jotter. Sannan cikin dabara yadda babu wanda zai gani na zira hannu na cikin nasa sannan naja tsohon band dina da har yau yake makale a hannunsa. Ya tsinke ya tarwatse akan cinyata, sannan without looking at his eyes na karbi takardar nace "nima na gode".


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*wannan littafin na siyarwa ne bisa amana idan baki siya ba kar ki karanta idan kuma kin siya kar ki sharing in kika yi kin ci amana kuma ke da Allah*

*The Next Page*

*Rayuwa feji feji ce, kamar pages na littafi, kowanne page idan ka bude yana da farko kuma yana da karshe, in ka gama wannan fejin kuma ba zaka san menene a cikin next page ba har sai ka bude shi tukunna*

*We all have the right to open the next page in the book of life, what most of us lack is the courage*

Umar

Wadannan kwanakin, wadannan unfortunate kwanakin are the worst days of his life. Gabakidaya duniya ta juya masa baya. Ba zai iya tuna ranar da ya zauna yaci abinci a tsanake ba, ko ya saka abincin ma a bakinsa baya iya wucewa ta makwogwaron sa saboda wani abu mai daci daya tokare masa a makogwaron, ba zai kuma iya tuna ranar da ya kwanta yayi bacci for five hours straight ba. Some nights yana yin su ne a zaune akan gadonsa hannun sa dafe da goshin sa idonsaa kafe a guri daya duk da ba wai kallon abinda yake gurin yake ba.

Babu abinda yake yawo a kwakwalwar sa irin daci da takaicin irin mummunar rayuwarsa. Babu abinda yake yawo a zuciyarsa irin tsantsar nadama da kyamar irin abubuwan da ya aikata a baya.

Ba zai iya nuna abu guda daya da ya karu da shi a bariki ba, amma a yanxu zai iya nuna abubuwa fiye da lissafin sa wadanda ya rasa a sanadiyyar bariki. Bayan his relationship with God, babban abinda yafi damunsa a cikin abubuwan da ya rasa shine iyayensa. They have been the light of his life tun sanda ya bude idon sa ya ganshi a duniya amma yanzu ba zai iya daga ido ya kalle su ba, ba zai iya zama a kusa da su ba, ba zai iya yi musu magana ba, ya tabbatar da ace ana musanyan ɗa to da tabbas zasu chanja shi suyi disowning dinsa, gwara ma su bada shi a basu shinkafa yar hausa, ko babu komai sa dafa su ci  su kuma bayar sadaka su samu lada, shi kuwa fa? Menene zasu iya nunawa nashi wanda ya amfane su da shi? In banda takaici da bakin ciki da tozarci da ...da ....da ....da? 

Musamman Mama. Anya kuwa akwai uwar da ta taba nuna wa danta soyayya kamar yadda Mama ta nuna masa? Anya kuwa akwai uwar da danta ya taba nuna mata mugun gani kamar wanda ya nuna mata?

Duk sanda ya tuno last time da ya hada ido da mamansa sai yaji kamar ya makala igiya a jikin fanka ya rataye kansa. Yo in ma ya zauna a duniyar menene amfanin sa? In kuma ya mutum wanene zaiyi kewar sa? Iyayensa kam ya san mutuwar sa will be a good riddance to them, matarsa ma haka, watakila yayansa zasu yi kewarsa a yanzu tunda basu da hankali basu san ko waye shi ba amma ya tabbatar idan suka girma suka ji irin halinsa da abubuwan kunyar daya aikata zadu gode Allah daya mutu da wuri. Musamman Yasmin. Idan Yasmin ta fahimci abinda ya faru da ita kuma ta san halinsa tabbas zata jingina abinda ya faru da itan da cewa laifin sa ne, and she will never forgive him kamar yadda her life will never be the same again. 

Ya runtse idonsa hawaye masu zafi suka zubo kan kuncinsa. He had a good life, good parents, excellent wife, excellent everything, amma ya tattara a zuba ruwa a kansu ya watsar a rariya. And now he is paying for his sins na duniya kadai. Na lahira kuma yana can yana jiransa. All for a few minutes pleasure. Forbidden pleasures.

Ya juya kansa yana kallon wayar sa da take kara a gefensa, through the blurry vision na idonsa ya karanta sunan Baffa Halilu. Waliyyin sa. Ya matsa fatar idon hawayen cikin su ya zubo, vision dinsa ya zama clear ya dauki wayar yana jin zuciyarsa tana gitsitstsirewa a kirjin sa, ya san kwanan zancen, last thing da ya rage masa najin dadi a rayuwarsa za'a karba. Aurensa.

Sai da kiran ya kusa katsewa sannan ya dauka ya saka a kunnensa ya danyi gyaran murya sannan yayi sallama. Ba tare da baffan ya amsa sallamar sa ba yace "Faruq ka zo ina neman ka. Yanzu" bai jira ya amsa ba kuma ya katse kiran. 

Umar ya ajiye wayar sannan ya sake jingina kansa a jikin bangon dayake bayansa "innalillahi wa inna ilaihir rajiun" na ambata a hankali. "Ya Allah!" Sai kuma ya kasa addu'ar, to mai zai ce? Shi kam yana da bakin yiwa Ubangijin sa magana ne? Ya tuno da maganar Jidda ranar dazata bar gidan sa. 

"Wanne Allahn kake rantsewa dashi? Allahn da kake sabawa a duk lokacin daka samu dama?"

Sai yaji wata irin kunya ta rufe shi, kunyar Ubangijin sa, ya tono da munanan abubuwan da ya yi ta aikatawa ya kuma tuna da cewa duk lokacin da yake aikatawar ubangiji yana kallon sa. Ya tuno da maganar Jidda

"Ka manta cewa akwai ranar da za'a saka maka rayuwar ka a gaban kowa kamar a TV kowa ya gani?"

Ya tuna cewa Mama ta riga ta ga wani bangare na cikin rayuwar ta sa and ganin da tayi masa is the worst thing that has ever happened to him. To Ubangijin sa fa da yake gani kullum? Da yasan komai?

Ya dafa bango ya mike tsaye tare da dafe kirjinsa ɓangaren hagu da hannunsa na dama. Ya rufe idonsa yana jin yadda zuciyarsa take yi kamar zata fito daga ma'ajiyar ta. Sai da ta lafa masa sannan ya mike straight ya fara neman key din motarsa, bai taba tunanin Jidda zata yi irin wannan taurin kan akan wannan maganar ba, they have been through worst cases than wannan na karshen kuma duk tayi hakuri soyayyar da take masa tayi prevailing amma wannan ta rikide ta koma wata halitta ta daban ba jiddan da ya sani ba and the last time he saw her, the last time they talked, ranar da ya aikata abin da ya aikata har Mama ta ganshi, a ranar ya gani a idon Jidda cewa da gaske take maganar da take fada. She is done with him.

Sai dai baiji haushinta ba. Tabbas tayi masa kokarin da baya jin zai samu matar da zata yi masa irin sa, tayiasa soyayyar da baya jin zai samu wadda zata yi masa irin ta, tabbas yayi asarar da ba zai taba mayarwa ba. And that's what hurt him the most a cikin maganar su. 

Direct gidan baffansa ya nufa not minding kayan da suke jikin sa da kuma the fact that jikinsa bai ga ruwa da sunan wanka ba ballantana turare, ya riga ya san maganar da zai tarar a can din, ya san Abba ne ya kira baffan ya gaya masa halin da ake ciki kuma ya nemi ya karbar masa takardar Jidda a hannunsa.

"Not now, not ever" 

Ya fada a fili lokacin da yake packing a kofar gidan sannan ya shiga ciki. Abinda yayi tsammani shi ya tarar kuwa. And he did abinda yayi wa kansa alkawarin zaiyi. He accepted dukkan laifuffukan da aka lissafo masa.

Ai kuwa yaga tashin hankali a gurin baffan na sa, at one point ya dauka ma dukan sa zaiyi kuma ya tabbatar abinda ya hana shi dukan sa kawai saboda jikinsa ya manyanta in ya dake shi shima sai yaji jiki, amma shi umar din yaso ace ya dake shin ko kadan ne ko ya samu ya danji sanyi a ransa,sai dai kuma yaji dadin fadan da yayi masa kamar wuta. Ya tuna sanda yake neman mai yi masa fada, lokacin da ya fara shiga harkar, lokacin da da an yi masa fada irin wanda aka yi masa yau an kuma saka ido a kansa an daidaita lamarin sa tabbas da ba'a zo inda ake a yanzu ba. 

Zafin fadan da baffan yayi masa har sai da Umar ya dauka zai sallama shi ne yace masa babu shi babu shi har abada, amma sai yaga bai yi haka ba instead sai ya saka ya dauke shi a motarsa suka tafi gidan su, gidan da tun ranar da suka yi ido biyu da Mama a gidan gona bai sake taka kafarsa zuwa cikin sa ba.

Yanzun ma sai yaki shiga gidan, ya zauna a cikin mota yana kallon kofar shiga cikin gidan yana tuno rayuwar sa a gidan da irin soyayyar da take tsakanin sa da iyayensa da sisters dinsa. Sisters dinsa da ya tuna sai ya tuno masa da Mufida, da kuma mummunan ganin da yayi mata ita da babban abokin sa kuma babban amininsa a bariki Bashir. 

Ya runtse idonsa yana jin zafi a ransa, zafin irin cin amanar da Bashir yayi masa da irin wulakanta shi da yayi. Allah kadai yasan dadewar da yayi mana lalata da sister dinsa. Ya tuno maganar Jidda. 

"Ya zaka ji idan ka ganni da wani akan gado? Ya zaka ji idan aka yiwa Mufida abinda kake yiwa kannen wasu? Ya zaka ji idan wani ya lalata Yasmin?"

Ya girgiza kansa. Kusan duk abinda ta fadaya faru. Na tan ne kawai bai faru ba. Ya jingina kansada jikin kujera 

"God please no. Ubangiji ka tsayar da masifar nan haka ya Rabbi"

Ya rufe idonsa yana jin salon bugun zuciyarsa yana chanjawa, imagining yake yi na abinda Jidda ta fada, idan ya ganta akan gado in the act tare da wani ya zai ji? Tabbas za'a dauki gawarsa a gurin. But she is innocent, ta yaya haka zata same ta? Ya tuna na shekarun da ta dauka tana social media wanda shi da kansa ya bude mata kuma ya cigaba fa bibiyar ta dan yana da password dinta na komai kuma yana budewa a wayarsa ba tare da sanin ta ba saboda insecurity dinsa, yana duba duk abubuwan da take yi amma ko sau daya bai taba kama ta da abu makamancin haka ba, ya kan ga maza yan iskan facebook suna yi mata magana sometimes, amma ko sau daya bata reply, shine ma yake zazzagin su daga farko,daga baya ma sai ya chanja mata setting yadda babu wanda zai iya yi mata message sai wanda yake friend dinta ita kuma bata taba karbar friend request sai daga wanda ta sani dan haka he trust her with his whole heart. 

Amma kuma ai Yasmin ma is very much innocent, even more innocent than her mother, amma ga abinda ya faru da ita. Dan haka tabbas Jidda bata tsira ba. Ya sake girgiza kansa da sauri "ya Allah!" Bakin cikin sa shine yasan duk wadannan abubuwan are bound to happen amma ya take yayi kamar bai sani ba sai yanzu kuma yake nadama, nadamar da yake ganin ta kamar marar amfani a duniya...

Ya zaiyi ya ceci Jidda daga biyan bashin da bata dauka ba?

Can kasan zuciyarsa yaji wata murya ta gaya masa 

"ka sake ta" 

Ya girgiza kansa da sauri

"Not now, not ever"

Kamar daga sama yaji muryar yaya Mubaraka. "Umar me kake yi anan? Kai kadai kana magana kamar wani tababbe?" Ya juya yana kallon ta, sai yaga yanayin fuskarta ya chanja zuwa tsoro. 

"Subhanallah! Umar kaga yadda ka koma kuwa? Are You okay? Shaye shaye ka fara ko me? Mun shiga uku" 

Ya dan kalli kansa briefly a jikin mirror, ya manta rabon da ya kallo fuskarsa, shima sai da ya dan ja baya kadan da yaga reflection din nasa, babban abinda ya tsorata shi in aka dauke kasumbar da ta cika masa fuska ita ce yadda idonsa ya fadaya koma ciki sannan ya jure daga farare zuwa wata color mai fatsi fatsi, lips dinsa sun bushe sunyi cracking, ya zaro harshe ya lashi lips din da sauri trying to bring back their color amma sai suka koma dabbare dabbare, ya dan kirkiri murmushi

"Yaya, kin shigo gidan? Ya yaran?"

Ta tsaya tana kallon sa bata amsa ba, sai ya dauke kan sa gefe ya daina kallon cikin idonta. Maybe ta sani itama, maybe Mama ta bata labari. 

Sai ta girgiza kanta cikin takaici sannan tace "zamuyi magana. No da kai Umar. Duk da dai ba jin magana takake yi ba amma ba zan fasa ba dan abin naka kullum cigaba yake yi. Mama tana kwance babu lafiya amma ko duba ta baka taba zuwa kayi ba duk da kana cikin asibitin kaima, har aka sallame ta, yanzu a gida ma baka taba shiga ka ganta ba ko waya ka gagara ka kira kace ya jikin ta. Uwar daga durkusa ta haifeka. Umar da ta ke sonka fiye da kowa da komai. Ka kyauta. In an kira ka ma ba zaka dauka ba. Ni dai dole in gaya maka gaskiya tun kafin duniya ta gaya maka" ta wuce shi da sauri cikin fishi. Ya lumshe ido a hankali yace "na nawa kuma? Already na gama daukan darasin duniyar ai"

Sai kuma ya bude kofar da sauri yabi bayan ta yace "Yaya! Ya jikin Maman?" Ta juyo ta watsa masa harara tace "ba'a sani ba" sannan ta wuce cikin gida.

Ya bi bayanta da kallo a ransa yana so ya shiga shima ya ga jikin mahaifiyar ta sa, ko daga nesa ne ya ganta koda ita bata ganshi ba, ko da basu hada ido ba amma sai ya kasa.

Yana tsaye a gurin har Baffa Halilu ya fito daga palon Baba. Da sauri ya bi bayansa ya bude masa kofar mota ya shiga sannan shima ya shiga seat din driver yana kunna motar yana jiran yaji baffan ya fara magana amma sai yaji yayi shiru, har suka koma gidan sa bai yi masa wata magana ba sai da yayi packing sannan yace "dattin ka yayi yawa Umar, ya wuce duk inda nake tunanin ya kai. Zan nemi surukan ka muyi kokarin gyara maganar aurenka sannan zamuyi kokarin ganin mun gyara ka kaima da taimakon ubangiji, amma ka sani, babu wanda zai iya gyara maka rayuwarka sai Ubangijin da ya halicce ka, Ubangijin da ka sabawa, gurinsa zaka je ka tuba ka nemi yafiyar sa idan ya so ka da rahama sai ya bude ka, ya bude mu baki daya, dan tabbas abinda ka dauka tamkar kashin kaji ne wanda ka shafawa kanka ka kuma shafawa danginka da da duk wanda ya rabe ka" 

Wannan ce maganar da ta tsayawa Umar a ransa har washegari, tabbas bashi da ja akan cewa kashin kaji ne ya debo yake shafawa duk wanda yake close to him, close to his heart. Ya tuno Jidda, the farther away she is from him the safer for her, a tunaninsa.

Amma baya jin zai iya rabuwa da ita.

Not now. Not ever.

Sai ya mayar da hankalinsa kan maganar Baffa ta farko, maganar neman tuba a gurin ubangiji wadda dama abinda yake yi kenan a cikin kwanakin nan yanzu sai ya kara akai, in ya tsaya a tsaye da dare baya zama har sai yaji kafafuwansa sun kumbura, in ya saka saka goshinsa a kasa yafara zubar da hawaye baya dagowa sai ya jika sallayar sa, amma a jikinsa yake jin cewa that is not enough, gani yake yi kamar tarin zunubansa sunyi yawan da bakin sa kadai yayi kadan gurin nema masa gafarar ubangiji duk kuwa da ya sani cewa shi ubangiji Algafur ne kuma Alrahim. 

Sai ya dauki aniyar bawa yara sadaka dan su taya shi addu'a, ya fita yayi chanjin sababbi kudin sa tunda yara sunfi son sababbin kudi ya shiga unguwa ya ringa rabawa yara yana saka su sunayi masa addu'ar Allah ya yafe masa zunubansa ya kuma biya masa bukatun sa, bukatun sa a lokacin ba wai na samun aiki bane ba ko kuma na samun wata daukaka bane ba, bukatun sa a lokacin bayan yafiyar ubangiji sune daidaitawa da iyayensa da kuma iyalin sa. Whom he misses like crazy. 

Sai dai duk kiran da zaiyi mata bata yin magana da shi, sai dai ta bawa su Yasmin da Asad su gaisa sai ta kashe. In ya tira mata message ma ba reply take masa ba, in tayi reply din kuma yawanci bakar magana ce da kuma halin ko in kula. Ya gaya mata bashi da lafiya amma ta nuna bata damu ba. 

Ranar nan sai ga kira daga Baffa Halilu, ya sanar dashi ya nemi Abba da kokarin ganin an gyara maganar amma yace sam babu wannan maganar. 

"Maganar yarinyar nan jikarsa ta bata masa rai sosai. Kuma kowanne magidanci mai hankali dole yaji zafin maganar. Ni banga laifinsa ba sam laifi duk naka ne Faruq. Dan haka ina umartaka da ka rubuta wa Hauwa takardar ta ka aika mata da ita"

Sai da Umar yayi minti biyu a zaune a inda yake, wayar already ta riga ta zame daga hannunsa zuwa kan cinyarsa. "Innalillahi wa inna ilaihir rajiun" 

Magana ta zo karshe, ya sani, bashi da sauran mai goya masa baya, ya sani. Abinda kawai zai iya yi shine yayi ta delaying maganar ko kuma ma ya tubure yace ba zai rubuta din ba amma kamar yadda suka jima suna ta threatening dinsa ya tabbatar in bai rubuta ba zasu maka shi ne a Court, zuwa court kuma yana nufin tonon asirin sa dan ko ba'a san takamaiman abinda ya faru ba za'a ta shaci fadi har a gano dalilin da yasa matarsa ta kai shi kara ta nemi saki. 

Chance dinsa daya a lokacin shine yayi kokarin shawo kan Jidda ita da kanta ta ce ta hakura zata dawo gare shi amma ta yaya?

Ya rubuta mata text ya gaya mata abinda Baffa ya ce masa, amma a reply din data turo masa na cewa 

*ya dogara ga Allah, shine zai masa jagora* 

Sai ya fahimci mistake din da yake yi a adduarsa, nema yake Allah ya daidaita su ba wai yana neman Allah ya zaba musu mafi alkhairi bane ba. Daga nan ya chanja akalar addu'ar sa akan auren su zuwa neman zabin Allah.

Kwana biyu bayan nan da safe ya shirya yaje gidan Yaya Mubaraka, hoping yaji labarin iyayensa da kuma halin da gidan su yake ciki duk da cewa zuciyarsa tana tsoron ko Yaya Mubaraka ta sani, ko tasan irin mugun ganin da Mama tayi masa. Sai dai bayan zuwan nashi ne ya fahimci cewa bata sani ba, fahimtar hakan ne kuma ya saka ya fahimci cewa babu wanda zai sani dan tunda Mama bata fada wa yaya Mubaraka ba to baya jin akwai wanda zata gayawa a duniya, baya jin ko Baba zata gayawa, ya fahimci cewa Mama zata rufa asirin sa sai dai ta tafi da maganar zuwa kabarin ta, lallai uwa babu ya ita kaf duniya. 

Fada sosai yaya Mubaraka tayi masa, fadan da duk ya karkata ne akan halin ko in kula da take ganin yana nuna wa akan rashin lafiyar mahaifan su, sannan kuma da shaye shayen da take ganin ya fara. Bai musa ba har sai da ta gama sababin fadan ta sannan ta koma nasiha da neman yadda za'a gyara lamarin musamman lamarin auren sa da Jidda da yake kasa yake dabo 

"akan halin ka ne ko? Halin nan naka baka daina shi ba har yanzu ko?" 

Ya dago kansa yana kallon ta yace "na daina yaya, sai dai dainawar tawa tazo min a kurarren lokaci, na riga na rasa yarda da amincewar Jidda. Jidda ba zata yarda cewa na daina ba. Ba zata kuma yarda da ni ba" 

Ta daga kafada "do you blame her? Ni dai I don't. Ta baka dukkan wata dama wadda ni personally na san ba zan bawa mijina irin ta ba, kuma ba zan bari yata ko kanwata ta bawa mijinta irin ta ba, sai dai in ban sani ba" 

Ambaton kanwa da tayi ne ya saka ya dago kai ya tambaye ta abinda yake sosa zuciyarsa "ina Mufida?" Yaya Mubaraka tayi ajjiyar zuciya tare da gyara zama "yaushe rabonka da gida Umar?" Yayi shiru bai ce komai ba. Ta cigaba "ba ka san ma Mufida bata gida ba ko?" Ya kalle ta da sauri zuciyarsa tana kara gudun jini a jikin sa "bata gida? guduwa tayi ko me?" Ta harare shi "guduwa kuma wacce iri? Yakumbo Amina tazo ta tafi da ita tun Mama tana asibiti. Wai zata zauna a gidan ta na wani lokaci. Naji kuma Baba yana maganar aure za'a yi mata. Har ya fara yi min maganar kayan daki. Ni ban gane ba. Kamar Mama da Baba suna boye wata magana ne fa" 

Ya sunkuyar da kansa yana wasa da band din Jidda da yake hannunsa. Aure za'a yi wa Mufida kenan. Good. Very good. Shi kuma wancan munafikin babu abinda zai ce masa sai Allah ya...... Sai kuma ya katse kansa, in Allah ya isa ne shi yayye nawa ne zasu yi masa Allah ya isa? Yadda yake takamar cewa babu wadda ya tilastawa a cikin matan da ya nema haka shima Bashir bai tilastawa Mufida ba. 

Yaya Mubaraka tace "kayi shiru? Ko dama kasan da maganar ne? Ko kaima kasan abinda yake faruwa ne?" Yayi saurin girgiza kansa. Tunda iyayensu suka yi deciding binne maganar to tabbas shima zai taya su da zuba kasa ne, babu wanda zai gaya wa. Not even Jidda.

Sai ta katse masa tunanin sa ta hanyar jefo masa tambayar da bata daga cikin abubuwan da suke zuciyarsa a lokacin "ya maganar yarinyar can kuma da aka daura muku aure? Menene matsayin auren naku a gurin ka?" 

Yayi blinking yana kallon ta, shi kan sa bai san amsar ba dan bai taba zama yayi tunani akan maganar ba, shi har yau ma bai taba ji a ransa cewa da gaske ne an daura masa aure ba, bai yarda a ransa cewa da gaske ne yana da mata bayan Jidda ba. 

Kafin ya bata amsa kira ya shigo wayarsa. Baffa Halilu. Ya cije lips dinsa tare da runtse idonsa. Yaya Mubaraka tace "waye yake kiranka? Lafiya?" Ya bude idon da lokaci daya ya kara juyewa yana kallon ta yace "Baffa ne. Baffa Halilu. Kin san shine waliyyi na. Akan maganar Baby Dove, akan maganar Jidda. Sunce sai na sake ta. Tace sai na sake ta. Ba zan iya sakin ta ba. Ba zan iya rabuwa da ita ba. Ba zan iya rasa family na ba" 

Sai ta taso ta dawo hannun kujerar da yake kai ta dora hannunta akan nasa wanda yake rike da wayar tace "shi aure rai ne dashi, Allah ne kadai yake bashi rai kuma kashe shi kamar mutum. Idan naku ya kare dole ya mutu kamar yadda idan lokacin mutum ya kare a duniya ba zai kara ko second daya ba. Sannan kuma ina so ka sani, babu wanda ba zaka iya rayuwa babu shi ba, ba Jidda ba ko da Mama da Baba ne, rayuwar ta daban ta ka daban, kaddarar ku ce tayi crossing shi yasa kuka yi aure, idan kuma roles dinku ya kare a cikin kaddarar juna dole ku rabu ko kuna so ko ba kwa so kuma dole ku ci gaba da rayuwa daban daban. Ka fahimta?"

Ya daga kai yana kallon ta, dusu dusu yake ganinta saboda ganinsa da yake ganin kamar yana disashe wa. "Ka fahimta?" Ta sake maimaita wa. Ya gyada kai a hankali sannan ta dauke hannun ta daga kan nasa shi kuma ya daga wayar ya kira number din Baffa. 

"Ka taho yanzu ka same ni gidan ku, zamu je gidan surukan ka"

Gyada kai kawai yayi dan ba zai iya magana ba. Sai kuma ya mike yana kallon yaya Mubaraka yace 

"zan je. Pray for me please"

Ta gyada kai da sauri a ranta tana jin tausayin kanin nata, duk da deep inside her tana jin ba abin tausayi bane ba domin shi yayi wasan kura da damarsa da har yayi sanadiyyar da zai rasa mace kamar Jidda.

Yana zuwa ya tarar har sun fito,daga alama shi kawai ake jira. Ya lura har da Mama a tafiyar amma sai ya kasa karasawa inda take ballantana ya daga kai ya kalle ta. Sai dai yaji dadin ganinta a tsaye akan kafafuwanta alamar lafiya ta same ta. 

Yana karasowa suka shiga motar Baffa shi kuma ya koma motarsa yayi gaba suna binsa a baya. Daci yake ji a bakinsa, jiri yake ji yana dibansa, amma a haka ya kai su har gida sannan yayi packing yana tunowa da ranar da ya fara zuwa gidan, ranar da ta fito ta same shi ta shafa jan baki duk ya bata gefen bakin ta, ya tuna da yadda tayi kokarin gogewa ta gyara amma bai gyaru ba sai ma kuma baci da yayi. 

Yana kallo Abbah yazo ya bude musu sitting room din Abba suka shiga, ya samu can gefe daga bakin kofa ya zauna yana tuno da memories din da suke cikin sitting room din, the good sweet memories and the bad final one, na last zuwansa gidan, na yadda yayi messing up everything.

Abba ne ya fara shigowa suka gaggaisa da manyan gurin shima ya gaishe shi sai ya amsa da "lafiya" daga nan bai sake ce masa komai ba. 

Ba'a jima ba ta shigo, kamshin ta ne ya riga sallamar ta zuwa gare shi. Kamshin da yayi stirring something deep inside of him wanda ya kusan kawo kwalla cikin idon sa. Amma sai ya kasa daga ido ya kalle ta dan zuciyar sa ba zata iya dauka ba. 

Yaji muryarta tana gaishe da mutanen gurin, bata gaishe shi ba shima bai yi mata magana ba, Baffa ya fara maganganun sa, inda ya fadi laifin da yake ganin na kowa ne, ya kuma yanke wasu shawarwari akan shi Umar din, sannan kuma ya roki alfarmar a mayarwa da Umar matarsa.

Ya rintse ido sa yana jiran amsa sai yaji Abba ya shigarwa yarsa, Yace sai ta yarda tukunna zata koma. Aka tambaye ta and she said


"ina son Umar Baffa. Amma kuyi hakuri. Allah shine shaidata bana son cigaba da auren sa, aurensa ya fita daga raina gabaki daya"

Ya bude idonsa ya sauke su a kanta. Yana ji kamar ranar ne ya fara ganinta a makarantar su sanye da uniform, amma sabanin waccan ranar yau bata kallonsa itama, sabanin waccan ranar yau bata yi masa murmushi ba. And he knew it was over.

Sama sama yaji Mama tana magana, kamar rokon Jidda take yi ta janye decision dinta. But she said

"Na yafe masa Mama, na yafe miki kema. Amma auren sa na gama"

Ya dauke idonsa daga kanta ya sauke shi zuwa hannunsa yana kallon band din ta dake hannunsa, remembering the time she gave him a cikin falon nan. Yaji Baffa Halilu yayi masa magana. Sai ya samu kansa da cewa. 

"Babu komai Baffa. Allah yasa hakan shi yafi mana alkhairi. Na gode da kulawa" 

Sai ya mike kamar wanda ake jansa ya fita zuwa motarsa ya bude aljihun motar ya dauko wata jotter wadda itace da kanta ta ajiye ta a gurin. Ya dauko biro ya dora akai. Ya rufe idonsa tare da sauke ajjiyar zuciya ya dube sannan yayi rubutu a ciki ya ninke da sauri ya fita daga motar ya koma inda suke ya shiga ya durkusa gabanta yana kokarin hada ido da ita one last time amma taki yarda. 

Sai ya kamo hannunta ya saka mata takardar tare da fadar wani abu da bai ma san me yace ba, yaji itama ta fadi wani abu da bai fahimta ba, abinda ya fahimta kawai shine ta karbi takardar, meaning ya tabbata kenan, sannan kuma ta tsinka band din hannunsa. 

How cruel!

Ya mike ba tare da ya kalli kowa a gurin ba ya fita ya shiga motarsa ya kunna ya bar unguwar. 

Ya jima yana driving da hannu daya dayan hannun dafe da kurjinsa saitin zuciyarsa da take kuka, kuka mai tsanani. Shi yasan bashi da lafiya, ya kuma san cewa ciwon nasa karuwa yake yi kullum amma baya komai gurin neman magani kuma bashi da niyyar, gaya wa kansa yake yi cews ciwo ma wani bangare ne na kankarar zunubi, maybe ciwon nasa ya zame masa wani sabulu da zai rage masa dattin jikin ruhinsa. 

Sai da yayi nisa sosai sannan yayi packing saboda yadda yake jin ba zai iya cigaba da tukin ba. Ya dafe kirjinsa da hannayensa duk biyun yana numfashi sama sama ga gumi duk ya lullube masa jiki, ya kwashe mintuna da yawa a haka sannan numfashin sa ya fara daidaita. Sai kuma ya dauko wayarsa ya nemo number din ta "Baby Dove" 

Ya tura mata message.

"I did what you want. Ba wai dan ni ina so ba sai dan na fahimci abinda kike son proving, cewa zaki iya rabuwa da ni. Ina so ki san cewa na fahimta, kowa ma ya fahimta. Then what's next?"


*Jidda*

Na ga ya mime da sauri sannan ba tare da ya ce wa kowa komai ba ya fita daga falon sannan muka ji tashin motar sa a waje. Ina kallon Mama ta mike kamar zata bishi sai Baba yayi mata magana ta dawo ta zauna. 

Baffa Halilu ne ya fara magana yace min "bani takardar in gani" na mika masa ita kamar yadda Umar ya miko min. Sai ya karanta a fili.

"Assalamu alaikum wa rahmatullah. Ni Umar Faruq Muhammad Gidado na yanke igiyar aure na da Hauwa'u Mahmud guda daya. Tare da fatan hakan ya zama alkhairi a gare mu baki daya"

Ya ninke takardar ya mika wa Abba, shi kuma ya karba yayi ta juya ta a hannun sa. Baba yayi ajjiyar zuciya "Allah ya sa haka shi yafi alkhairi" 

Baffa Halilu yace "insha Allahu ba karshen maganar nan kenan ba. Insha Allahu zamu dawo mu sake zama a gurin nan da murmushi a fuskokin mu" Baba yace "ameen"

Mun jima haka a zaune babu wanda ya sake iya magana a gurin sai ajjiyar zuciya da ake saukewa, sannan Baba yace "in babu damuwa Alhaji ina son yara su zauna a gurinta for the mean time, kar abin yayi musu yawa. Ni ina ji a jikina nan bada dadewa ba zamu sake dawowa" 

Abba ya girgiza kai. "Bana jin hakan mai yiyuwa ce. Kayi hakuri Alhaji. Ana so muyi ta jainja da kai akan maganar nan dan Allah. Ita yanzu na riga na gama duk shirye shirye ina do ta tafi kasar mahaifiyarta tayi idda a can saboda bana son surutun mutane akan maganar nan, ni in son samu ne ma zan so yanzu a dauko muku yaran tare da kayan su ku tafi dasu kawai" 

Baffa yace "haba Alhaji. Kar muyi haka mana. Ai addini ma ita ya bawa rikon yayan ta in ma aure ne zatayi nan gaba kuma ba zata tafi da yayan ba sai mahaifiyarta ta rike su, haka addini ya tsara ba wai mu muka tsara ba, saboda ubangiji ya san muhimmancin uwa ga yayanta. Dan Allah ka bar mata yaranta"

Abba yace "to tafiyar kuma fa? Yanzu mahaifiyar tata bata nan waye zai rike mata su in ta tafi?" Baba yace "sai su tafi tare. Mu zamu dauki nauyin tafiyar ta su insha Allah. Su zauna tare da ita kar abin yayi musu yawa"

Abba ya juyo yana kallona ina tattare strings din da suke kan cinyata yace "tashi kije ciki" na mike nayi musu sallama murya ta ciki ciki na shiga cikin gidan sai dai ban shiga dakin Umma ba inda na bar yara suna kallo sai na shiga dakin Farhan wadda bata gidan a lokacin, na zauna akan katifar ta ina kallon strings din da suka hannuna. 

Na yi bitar takardar Umar a kaina. 

"Ni Umar Faruq Muhammad Gidado na yanke igiyar aure na da Hauwa'u Mahmud guda daya....."

Na saki igiyoyin hannuna suka zube a kasa. 

Guda daya yace, ni kuwa guda nawa na tsinka? Na fara irga strings din kamar tababbiya, in na kirga sai in bata a lissafin sai in sake irgawa. 

Ina yi ina tuno tarin alkawarirrikan sa gare ni.

"My heart and my body belong to only you"

"I will never do it again" 

Na tuno Bashir

"Dama nasan ba ka wuce tayi ai shi yasa nayi masa"

"She was your favorite pet"

Ma tuno Maryam

"Na ajiye miki sako a cikin motarsa, idan kuma baki yarda nasa bane ba ki kai asibiti ayi miki DNA test"

Na tuno Mammy

"Cewa yayi zai aure ni"

And Asabe

"Wallahi mommy sau daya ne"

Na runtse idona  ina jin hawaye suna falla gudu a kan kunchina. Ban san jimawar da nayi a haka ba sai jin maganar Yasmin nayi a kusa dani

"Mommy are you crying again? Na dauka kin daina kuka yanzu"

Na dago kai ina kallon ta sannan na share hawaye na da bayan hannu na. Nayi kokarin yin magana.  "Ba kuka nake ba" sai ta miko min waya ta "anyi miki message. Daddy ne. Mommy ki karanta mana. Cewa yayi zai zo mu tafi gida?"

Naji wani irin takaici ya kama ni. Message kuma? Mai zai ce min? Na dauka it is finally over na yar da kwallon mangwaro na huta da kuda.

Na karba na bude na karanta

"I did what you want. Ba wai dan ni ina so ba sai dan na fahimci abinda kike son proving, cewa zaki iya rabuwa da ni. Ina so ki san cewa na fahimta, kowa ma ya fahimta. Then what's next?"

Naja tsaki ina jin zuciyata tana min zafi. Gwara ma in gaggauta barin kasar nan dan a kowanne lokaci zai iya cewa ya mayar da ni tunda minutes kadai bayan saki ya fara min bita da kulli. 

Har na ajiye wayar sai kuma na dauka na yi masa reply

"Ba wai ina so inyi proving zan iya rabuwa da kai bane ba. Ina so inyi proving zan iya rayuwa babu kai. And that's what I will do"

Na tura masa tare da jan dogon tsaki.

Yasmin ta bini da kallo. 

"Mommy komawar zamuyi gida?"

Na kalle ta ina jin kamar in sharara wa kyakykyawar fuskar ta mari, sai kuma nayi murmushi nace "guess what? Tafiya zamuyi. Jirgin sama zamu shiga muje garin su Muƙaffa" (dan auncle Muhammad) 

Ta bude ido cikin murna sai kuma ta fita a guje. Nabi bayanta da kallo sannan na dawo da kallo na kan wayata. 

Now I have opened a new chapteri n my life. Page of zawarci. Page din da mata da yawa suke sacrificing rayuwarsu saboda tsoron budewa. Ko menene a ciki? Allahu a'alam. Amma abinda na sani shine zanyi iyakacin kokari na na ganin cewa na karance shi daki daki kuma na bi shi cikin nutsuwa har Allah yayi min jagora in samu kyakkyawan rabo, ko a duniya ko kuma a lahira.


*wannan littafin na siyarwa ne bisa amana, idan baki siya ba kar ki karanta idan kuma kin siya kar ki sharing in kika yi kin ci amana kuma ke da Allah*

*The Divorcee*


Na koma da baya na kwanta akan katifar tare da runtse idona, trying so hard inga cewa ban cigaba da kukan da nake yi ba amma ni kaina na san ba zan iya hana kaina ba, sai dai har cikin zuciya ta ban tantance kukan da nake yi ba, na murna ne? Dan for the past few weeks babu abinda nake so irin rabuwa da Umar, ko kuma na bakin ciki ne dan for the last seven years Umar has been a greatest part of my life. Shi ya saka ni a school da kudinsa da karfinsa da jajircewar sa har na samu aikin da a yanzu shine zai rike ni a zaman zawarcina, ya soni iyakacin so, soyayyar da mata da yawa suke kwadayin samun irin ta a gurin mazajen su, but then ya ci mutuncina iyakacin cin mutunci, yayi min abinda ya sakani tunanin anya kuwa soyayyar gaskiya ce yake nuna min ko kuma ta fatar baki ce? The betrayal, the emotional blackmail, the lies. Some of the things I went through a hannun Umar in na tuna har mamakin yadda nayi surviving dinsu nake yi. Babu wanda zai gane sai wanda ya samu kansa a matsayi na. I mean it is one thing for mutumin da baya nuna maka yana son ka yayi betraying dinka and it is totally a different thing ace mijin da yake nuna duniya kamar babu mace kamar ka ya kuma kwanta da friend dinka, da niece din ka  ya kuma kwanta da yar aikin ka a cikin gidan ka. 

Tabbas babu wanda zai gane halin da zuciyata take ciki a lokacin sai wanda ya shiga matsayin, bana kuma yiwa kowacce mace fatan shiga wannan matsayin. 

Ina cikin tsiyayar da hawayena a cikin pillow naji muryar Abba yana kiran sunana, na mike zaune ina jan hanci sannan nayi kokarin amsawa da dasashshiyar murya ta, "kina ina ne wai? Ko ta zama kurma ne?" Na ja dankwali na na goge hawayena sannan na mike ina kara daga murya ta gurin amsawa, kafin in fita daga dakin sai gashi ya shigo, ya tsaya a bakin kofa yana kallona, da alama ya lura da chanjawar idona. Ya dan dauke kansa kadan yana kallon gefe ni kuma na durkusa a gabansa ina kara jan hanci a kokari na na ganin na rike sauran kukan da yake kokarin sake balle wa. Yace "kiyi hakuri, kiyi addu'a. Sannan kuma ki shirya gobe kuje da gwoggon ki Habibah ki debo muku sauran kayan sawarku ke da yara da kuma abubuwan amfani. Sai kuma ki karasa muku shiri ke da yara tare zaku tafi Ethiopia, kakannin su sunce zasu biya musu kudin jirgi".

Na gyada kai da sauri. Har ya juya ya fita kuma sai ya dawo yana nuna ni da yatsa yace "saura kuma ki kwanta kiyi ta koke koke kamar Aysha ta mutu, in yaso hawan jinin da ya riga ya saka miki ya tashi ki mutu shikenan bashi da asara".

Ya fita yana maganganu kasa kasa. Na mike na koma na zauna a bakin katifa ina cigaba da gitsitstsira strings din dana tsinka a hannun Umar. Sai naji ina mamakin Abba a raina, ban taba tsammanin samun goyon bayansa akan maganar nan ba, I thought ba Mammy ba ko Amira Umar ya nema Abba zai ce ne in koma in cigaba da hakuri ina biyayyar aure. Sai na fahimci abinda Diyam ta gaya min ranar nan cewa Abba yana sona, kuma duk tsaurin sa a tunaninsa yana yi ne for our own good bai san yadda rayuwa ta koma ba, ya dauka mazan yanzu irin na da ne, ko a mafarki bai taba tsammanin Umar zai iya yin abinda yayi ba.


Ina nan zaune aka kira sallar azahar na tashi na koma falon Umma na tarar daga Asad har Yasmin sunyi bacci, sai na tsaya ina kallon su ina lissafin yadda rayuwar su zata kasance, abinda na tabbatar shine their life will never be the same amma gwara hakan sau dubu akan yadda rayuwar tasu zata kasance idan da ace na zabi na cigaba da zama da babansu. Mai zai faru ranar da suka kama babansu in the act a cikin gidan su? Ko kuma su kawo kawarsu gidan ya nema dan tabbas zai iya, ko kuma Yasmin ta zama budurwa shaidan din da yake kwadaita masa sauran mata ya kwadaita masa ita. Dan tabbas idan zina ta ci zuciyar mutum har muharramansa yake sha'awa.

Na girgiza kaina da sauri ina kara tabbatar wa kaina dacewar decision dina. Nayi alwala nayi sallah na gode wa Allah akan niimomin da yayi min sannan na nemi alkhairi a cikin wannan sabon babin na rayuwa da na bude. 

Ban jima da idarwa ba Farhan ta shigo dakin, fuskarta fal da murmushi, daga gani bakin ta a cike yake da labari. Ta zauna akan kujera tana kallona nima ita nake kallo sai tayi dariya tana girgiza kai. Na gara zamana ina kallon ta nace "bani in sha" ta sake murmushi. Sai kuma ta tabe baki trying to hide her excitement tace "wai wannan din nan ne, yace wai in na amince yana son ya fito maganar aure" na dan bata fuska "wanene wannan din nan?" Ta juya ido "Sadiq yake ko wa? Wannan dai dan uwan kawar nan ta ki" na dan yi murmushin da bai kai ciki ba duk da ina matukar yi mata murnar samun miji kamar wannan amma kuma zuciyata tana cikin zullumin nima tawa rayuwar nace "munafuka, har da wani nuna kamar baki wani damu da shi ba ko? Har da wani pretending baki san sunan sa ba ko?" 

Tayi dariya tana juya ido tace "dallacan, irin jan ajin nan ne fa nake yi" na taya ta dariyar, duk da dai tawa ta yake ce nace "to ai bani zaki ja wa ajin ba shi zaki jawa" ta zauna sosai. "Amma gaya min gaskiya, yayi miki?" Na dauke kaina daga kan ta ina kallon sallayar da nake kai na tuna da sanda nayi mata makamanciyar wannan tambayar akan Umar, sai nace "it doesn't matter idan yayi min ko bai yi min ba, what matters is idan yayi miki tunda ke zaki aure shi bani ba. Mu namu shine muyi muku addu'a, Abba kuma nasa shine ya bincika halayyar sa da nagartarsa. Idan ma nace baiyi min ba bana jin hakan zai hanaki auren sa kamar yadda nima sanda kika ce min Umar bai yi miki ba ban fasa aurensa ba".

Ta sauko daga kan kujerar ta zauna a kusa dani tana girgiza kai tace "noooo. Indai kika ce min baiyi miki ba zan tambaye ki dalili, idan kika gaya min dalilin kuma naji nai karfi ne tabbas zan rabu da shi, I waited for years kafin in same shi and I can wait for more years har in samu wani. It is not as if ina yi masa irin mugun son nan" na gyada kai na cikin fahimta. That was what I lacked a lokacin soyayyar mu da Umar, nayi masa mugun so, forgetting fadin Manzon Allah kan cewa kar mu zurfafa soyayya kuma kar mu zurfafa kiyayya. 

Na dan dafa ta "wasa nake yi miki ke. Personally yayi min. Ban ga wata makusa ba a tare da shi a zahiran ce. Ina ganin ki fada masa ya fito din. Allah yasa albarka a ciki" 

Sai ta zagaye ni da hannayenta cikin murna tace "ameen summa ameen sister. Nagode. You are the best sister in the whole world" nayi dariyar yadda tayi maganar dramatically sannan ta tashi da sauri zata fita sai na kira sunan ta. "Farhan" ta juyo tana kallona sai na ga ta yar da jakar hannunta ta tana kallona. "Lafiya?" Na sunkuyar da kai na ina jin mugayen hawayen nan suna kokarin dawowa nace "dazu Umar yazo, tare da iyayensa. Ya rubuta min takarda. Saki daya. Mun rabu da Umar Farhan" 

Ta zauna dabas a gaba na. Na danyi murmushi tare da saka gefen hijab dina na goge hawayen daya taru a idona nace "babu komai. Haka rayuwa take. A ranar da ake haifar wani a ranar wani yake mutuwa. A ranar da wani yake warkewa daga ciwo a ranar wani yake kwanciya. A ranar da wani auren yake mutuwa a ranar ake dasa foundation din wani. Fatana shine Allah yasa hakan ya kasance alkhairi a gare mu baki daya".

A ranar da dare na kira Umma na gaya mata abinda ya faru. Na kuma kira Aunty Afia itama. Sai dai dukkan su baji dadin yadda suka karbi maganar ba dan har yanzu suna nan kan bakansu na cewa dadai na xauna na cigaba da hakuri da zai fi. 

Maganganun damuka yi da su ya saka naji duk zuciyata tai babu dadi, nafara questioning decision dina. Ina bukatar someone to assure me cewa akan dai dai nake. Sai na kira Diyam da number din ta ta canada data kira ni da ita ranar nan. 

Sai bayan da kiran ya shiga sannan na fara adduar Allah yasa time din is convenient tunda ban san time difference din dayake tsakanin mu ba.

Luckily sai gata ta dauka. Muka gaisa. And I told her abinda ya faru. Kamar yadda nasaka rai sai ta kwantar min da hankali ta kuma jajanta min tare da fatan alkhairi. Na kuma gaya mata fear dina na tsoron rayuwar da take gabana, rayuwar zawarci. Sai ta kwantar min da hankali da cewa babu komai.

"In dai kin saka Allah a gabanki to kin wuce fargaba. Kin samu support din Abba, a hankali kuma sai kiyi kokarin fahimtar da Umma itama. Kuma ke kinji dadin ki ma kin yi karatun ki kina aikin ki kina samun albashin ki ba zaki tagayyara ba, babu wanda zaki dorawa responsibility sai dai maki rage musu nasu responsibilities din, dama shine amfanin aikin ko sana'ar. A shawarce kuma yanzu ko kin gama idda ki ajiye batun aure a gefe in dai ba karfin sha'awa ne dake ba kina gudun fadawa halaka, ki bari kiyi healing sosai ki nutsu kuma kiyi addu'a sosai kar kiyi rushing sai kiga Allah yayi miki jagora ya baki wanda ma baki taba tsammani ba. People will talk, no matter what you do, just let them talk, zasu yi su gama ne dan kansu. In da kin tsare mutumcin ki shikenan. Shi Allahn dakike yi da shi yana ji kuma yana gani".

Washegari kamar yadda Abba ya fada sai ga gwoggo Habibah tazo a motar babban danta yaya Kabiru. Na samu na bar su Asad a tare da Amira saboda bana son zuwa gidan su dasu dan kar su zama emotional, musamman idan suka hadu da Umar a gidan. Sai muka tafi tare da Farhan da yayana Abbah. A hanya ina ta addu'a da kuma fatan kar Allah ya hada ni da Umar a gidan kuma cikin ikon Allah bamu same shi ba sai maigadi shi kadai a bakin gate, yana ganina ya taho da murnar sa "Hajiya! Sannu da zuwa. Ina su uwar masu gida (Yasmin)" nayi murmushi kawai sai Farhan ce ta bashi amsa da cewa suna gida. A rufe muka tarar da falon, da yake da akwai key jaka ta sai na bude mana, muna shiga sai ga mai gadi da kayan sharar yana wai yazo zaiyi mana, gwoggo Habibah ce tace masa ai ba zama zamuyi ba kaya muka zo diba, sai ga shi yana sharar kwalla. 

Na jima a tsaye ina bin gidan da kallo, gidan dana yi tunanin nanne zan kare rayuwata tare da mijina da yayana, gidan da nayi tunanin sai dai a fitar da gawata daga cikin sa yau gashi ni da kaina na zabi fita daga ciki. Na bude corridor na shiga dakina, kayan Umar ne duk a barbaje a dakin, wannan yasa nayi tunanin anan ya dawo da zama.

Farhan ta shigo muka sauke akwatinan saman wardrobe muka fara zuba kaya, ina yi ina tattare wa Umar na sa, ignoring kamshin sa da yake jikin kayan. Sai da muka gama kwasa tsaf, na zagaya sauran dakunan gidan ma na daukar mana abinda nake tunanin zamu bukata. Sauran kuma duk muka jirge su muka hade su waje daya, kitchen ma duk muka zuba kayan a cikin kwalaye da buhunhuna. Furnitures ne nace da gwoggo Habibah "shi ya siya wadannan, nawa sune yanzu a dakin Umma" ta daga kafada "sai menene kuma? Ai tunda ya siya miki sun zama naki" yaya Kabiru yace "a'a kar a taba masa saboda gudun wulakanci, duk abinda shi ya siya a bar masa kayansa idan ya bar mata ne to shi da kansa zai aiko da su ko kuma yace azo a dauka" 

Kusan wuni mukayi, sai yamma muka gama kuma har muka gama Umar bai zo gidan ba, muka hade duk kayan da suke nawa a cikin bedroom dina muka rufe, sauran kuma muka bar komai a inda yake. Na dauki suturar sa dana tarar a bedroom dina na kai masa nasa, sai na tsaya ina kallon dakin, zuciyata tana bugawa da karfi my head blank, sai kuma na ajiye da sauri a bakin gado na kife frame din family picture din mu na fito da sauri daga dakin.

A bakin gate gwoggo Habibah tace da mai gadi "idan mai gidan yazo ka gaya masa mun zo mun debi kaya mun kuma hada sauran, za'a aiko da mota ta kwashe" yace "ai Hajiya tun jiya da safe da ya fita har yanxu bai dawo ba, ina ta tunanin ma ko lafiya dan kwanakin nan kullum a gida yake kwana yake wuni babu inda yake zuwa" gwoggo Habibah ta tabe baki "lafiya ce ai take yin shiru, in da wani abu ai dole za'a sani. Allah ya kyauta" daga haka muka koma gida.

A ranar da daddare Hajiya ta shigo har daki tayi min jaje, tana ta sussunkuyar da kai, na amsa mata babu yabo babu fallasa, sannan kuma yanuwana suma kusan kowa yayi min waya ya jajanta min wasu daga ciki ma har gida suka zo, ban sani ba ko har zuciyar su suke alhinin abin ko kuma munafunci ne oho, amma ni ban damu ba dan nasan bana nufin kowa da sharri a zahiri ko badini, kuma na yarda da cewa duk mai nufi na da shi kansa zai koma kamar yanda wancan sharrin da suka kulla ya kwance a tsakiyar kansu.

Babu bata lokaci shirin tafiyar mu ya kankama, dama rashin isassun kudin da zan tafi da yara ne ya saka nake ta delaying abin amma yanzu tunda an dauki nauyin mu bani da stress, na sami Yaya Tahir da Abba na roki ina son mu tafi da Amira dan itama ta ga yan uwa kuma naci sa'a Abba ya bari. 

Kayan da na dauko wanda zamu tafi dasu kawai na diba sauran na jibge su a dakin Umma. Na san maganar mutuwar aure na a yanzu ta gama zagaya yan'uwa da makota, na san da cewa masu zuwa gidan da yawa suna kallo na da abin but I don't care, zasu yi magana na sani, zasu yi surutu na sani, kamar kuma yadda na sani cewa abinda ya faru dani halal ne ba haram na aikata ba, na san kuma cewa mutuwar aure ba'a kaina aka fara ba ba kuma a kaina za'a kare ba, kamar yadda babu wanda yasan ranar mutuwar sa haka babu wanda yasan makomar auren sa.

Matsala ta farko da na fara fuskanta kuma dama ita ce matsalar da na saka ran zan fuskanta ita ce matsalar yara na. Kullum zancen baban su, musamman da suka ga alamar munje gidansu mun debo kaya. Kullum sai sun ce in kira musu shi a waya ni kuma sai in ki in kuma yi musu tsawa su rabu da ni. Shima kuma bai ta taba kira ba. 

Ranar nan sai ga Yasmin ta sako kaninta a gaba sun zo gurina. "Mommy tunda ke ba zaki kira Daddy ba dan Allah in dauki aron wayarki in kira shi?" Na lura tsoron yadda ranar nan da ta kira shi na kusan dukanta take yi. Na bude mata wayar na mika mata "kira shi" da sauri ta karbi wayar ta nemo number dinsa ta kira ta saka a kunne, sai kuma ta bata rai tana kallona tace "wayar ta ki yi mommy, ko ta lalace?" Na karba ina kallon sunansa "Umarul Faruq" sai na shiga edit na chanza sunan zuwa "daddyn Yasmin" sannan na kira amma sai naji wayar a kashe. Na ajiye nace "wayar sa a kashe take Yasmin" sai suka bata rai amma kuma suka hakura. 

Sai dai ni a nawa bangaren ina jin babu dadi a raina. Duk da babu aure tsakani na da Umar amma shi din wani bangare ne na rayuwata, kuma na tabbatar idan Umar zaiyi ignoring dina saboda dagewar da nayi na rabuwa da shi ba zai ignoring yayansa ba, what if something bad has happened to him?

Na nemo wata tsohuwar number dinsa wadda yayi amfani da uta lokacin da yake pretending cewa ya daina using layinsa, na kira amma shima not reachable, tunowa da nayi da lokacin da yayi using number din da irin karerayin da ya ringa yi min ya sa nayi tsaki, in ma wani abun ya faru da shi ai yana da iyaye da yanuwa da abokai, ko Bashir ya isa ya kula da shi. 

Na tuna rantsuwar da ya dinga yi min cewa ya rabu da Bashir amma Farhan ta gaya min cewa tare da Bashir din suka yi ta yawon nema na kuma babu wata alama ta rabuwa a tsakanin su. 

Na jefar da wayar gefena ina jin haushin kaina na damuwa da nayi da sanin dalilin kashe wayar sa. He doesn't deserve that from me does he?

Amma duk da haka ana ya gobe zamu tashi sai na shirya yara na hada su da Amira nace ta kai su gidan su Umar suyi musu sallama. Bata jima ba sai gata ta dawo ita kadai wai Mama tace su zauna su wuni da dare za'a dawo dasu. Kuma zasu je asibiti su duba baban su. 

Na tsaya ina kallon ta. "Bashi da lafiya ne?" Ta daga kafada "haka dai naji tace, ni kuma ban tambaye ta ba"

A ranar ne kuma da yamma nayi bakuwa. Surayya. Naji dadin zuwanta sosai na tare da da fara'a muka shiga daki na gabatar mata da ruwa da lemo sannan muka gaisa. Tayi kyau sosai sosai, in ba saninta kayi sosai ba ba zaka gane ta ba saboda yadda tayi fes da ita fatarta tayi kyau sosai. Ba zaka ce da ne take gidan mai kudi ba yanzu kuma take gidan iyayenta masu rufin asiri.

Ta fara min mitar bani da zumunci na daga mata hannu "naji naji, na kuma karbi laifina hannu bibbiyu, amma insha Allah gobe zan yi tafiya in na dawo zaki ganni har gida, nima zan samu ladan. Dama akwai abinda yake rike zumuncin mu amma yanzu tunda ya kau zamuyi zumunci sosai" tace "ban gane ya kau ba, me kike nufi" 

Na yi shiru ina wasa da yatsuna sannan nace " baki ganni a gidan mu ba?" Ta gyada kai. "Naje can gidan naki ai tun kwanaki mai gadin ku yace min bakya nan wai kina gida. To yan zu kuma nazo bayan layin ku sai nace bara in shigo in gani ko kina nan" 

Na danyi murmushi "mun rabu ai. Mun rabu da Umar" ta bude ido cikin mamaki sannan tayi salati. "Kun rabu fa kika ce Jidda? Umar fa? Umar ne ya sake ki?" Na girgiza kai. "Ni na nemi Umar ya sake ni. He didn't have an option, it was either ya sake ni daga ni sai shi sai waliyyan mu ko kuma in kai shi court ya sake ni a gaban duniya. He chose the first option" 

Ta rufe idonta ta bude "innalillahi wa inna ilaihir rajiun. Allahu ya sa hakan shi yafi muku alkhairi baki daya" nace "ameen. Tare da ke" 

Tayi dariya "ni kam alkhairi ne ma alhamdulillah. I have never been this happy. It was hard at first musamman da yake ban samu support na iyayena ba but a hankali sai suka fara fahimtar it was for the best, musamman da wasu daga cikin halayen Bashir suka fara fitowa yanzu a fili, duk da dai nasan ba za'a taba fahimtar how deep yake a cikin harkar ba. Iyayensa ma basu yarda ba sunce sharri ne but ni na san cewa sun sani ko ba su san komai ba sun san something kawai suna pretending cewa basu sani ba dan gaskiyar sai ta fi musu da ci akan karyar"

Na gyada kai cikin fahimta. Sannan nace "ke kuma fa? Me kike ciki yanzu?" Tayi murmushi. "Na koma school. Dama shi ya hana ni kuma I was naive na dauka it doesn't matter ko nayi karatu ko banyi ba tunda ina ganin zai sauke nauyin sa. But now I am wiser" na gyada kai. Allah yasa haka shi yafi mana alkhairi

Da dare su Yasmin suka dawo, tun kafin in tambaye su Asad ya fara bani labari "mommy munje gidan Mama, nace mata ba zan zauna a gidan ta ba tunda tafiya take yi tana barin mu muyi kuka, kuma sai muka je hospital muka ga Daddy bashi da lafiya ana yi masa allura" 

Na juya ina kallon Yasmin nace "me yake damun daddyn naku?" Ta zauna tace "nima ban sani ba. Yana kwance muka ganshi kuma baya magana" nayi shiru ban ce komai ba.

Jirgin mu da safe zai tashi dan haka da wuri muka fita. Muka je airport muka gama komai muka zauna jiran lokacin tashin mu. But hankalina was somewhere else. I want to know yanayin jikin Umar da kuma abinda yake damunsa, nayi tsaki ya kai cikin charbi. A karshe dai na dauko wayata na kira number dinsa still switched off. Na sake wani tsakin na ajiye wayar. Mintuna kadan kuma sai na sake dauka na nemo number din Mufida na kira. Remembering cewa tunda na bar gidan Umar bamu yi waya da ita ba. 

Sai da kiran ya kusa katsewa sannan ta dauka. Muryarta sounds far away kamar wadda ta tashi daga bacci ko kuma wadda take cikin damuwa. Na lumshe idona na bude. She was and still is a very good friend of mine. Tun ranar da muka hadu Allah ya hada jinin mu but now? Now I don't even know menene a tsakanin mu.  

"Mufida?" "Na'am Jidda. Ya kike? Ina mamana da babana? (Yasmin da Asad) nace "lafiya lau suke. Ya kike? Ya mai jiki?" Ta danyi shiru "da sauki" nace "uhmm. Me yake damunsa ne?" Tace "some kind of a heart problem" na lumshe idona na bude "Allah ya bashi lafiya. Dama yau zamu tafi ne, muna airport already. Shine yara suke so suyi sallama dashi and his phone is not going through. Ko zaki hada su suyi magana if that is possible?" 

Tace "bana gari ai. Ina Kaduna. Sai dai ki kira Mama ko Yaya Mubaraka. Na san daya tana tare da shi" nace "ohh okay. Shikenan babu komai. Thanks. In kunyi waya kawai kya ce muna duba shi ni da yara" 

Sai na katse wayar na rike ta a hannuna ina jujjuya ta. Ciwon zuciya? Umar? Nayi ajjiyar zuciya. Allah ya bashi lafiya.

Mintuna basu fi biyu ba sai ga kiran Mama ya shigo wayata. Kamar ba zan dauka ba kuma sai na dauka na gaishe ta. Ban tambayi mai jiki ba. Tace "Mufida ta kira yanzu tace in kira ki wai kin kira kina tambayar jikin Umar ko? Jiki da sauki Jidda. Alhamdulillah jiya da dare ya farka. Yana ta neman ki da yara. Ban dauka zaki kula shi ba shi yasa ban neme ki ba. Bara in bashi wayar ko a waya ne ku gaisa"

Na juya ido na. Did I say ina son magana da shi? 

Some part of me wanted to cut the call but sai na kasa. And I heard muryar Mama "Umar Umar Umar. Jidda ce a waya. Ta kira zata duba ka ne"

And I asked myself "ni na kira da ma?"

Sai kuma naji muryar sa. Can kasa "Jidda?" 

Sai nayi magana cikin sauri

"Hello Umar ya jikin? Ashe baka da lafiya. Dama muna airport ne zamu tafi sai su Yasmin suke son yi maka sallama. So, ba wai ni na kira ba. But ina maka fatan samun sauki" 

Na dan jira kadan, kamar ba zaiyi magana ba sai kuma murya can kasa yace "ina zaku je?" Nace "baka sani ba? Na dauka ka sani tunda su Baba sun sani. Zamu je Ethiopia ne. Muna airport ma already. Ga yara zasu yi maka sallama. Allah ya baka lafiya" ban jira amsar sa ba na mikawa Asad da Yasmin da suka saka ni a gaba suna jin abinda nake cewa. Nan da nan suka fara rige rigen yi masa magana yayin da ni kuma na rufe idona ina jin tawa zuciyar tana yi min nauyi. Ban san ma sun gama ba sai gani nayi sun miko min wayar. Na saka ta flight mode sannan na saka a jaka ta. Mintuna kadan aka kira jirgin mu.





*Wannan littafin na siyarwa ne bisa amana idan baki siya ba kar ki karanta idan kuma kin siya kar ki sharing idan kika yi kin ci amana kuma ke da Allah*

*The New Life*

**

Sai dana tabbatar Asad da Yasmin da kuma Amira sun zauna properly sannan nima na zauna na saka seat belt na kwantar da kaina na rufe idona, all I can see a idona shine Umar a kwance a kan gadon asibiti thinner than last ganin da nayi masa, na'urori a zagaye da shi. Sai da naji jirgin ya fara tashi sannan na bude ido na ina kallon kasa har muka daga cikin sararin samaniya ina kallon garin kano, and I thought, tabbas abinda na fada gaskiya ne, tabbas rabuwa da Umar itace jarabawa ta ba wai zama da shi ba.

Awa biyu ta kaimu garin addis ababa, Mun tarar da auncle Muhammad da matarsa sun zo airport daukar mu daga nan muka tafi gidan sa inda acan Umma take a lokacin. 

Murnar ganin Umma da yanuwana ya saka naji duk tunane tunanen da na kwashe entire journey din ina yi sun dakata, na fara murmushi da dariya tare da karbar kulawa da soyayya daga yanuwana duk da dai ban samu hakan daga gurin mahaifiya ta ba wadda tayi kicin kicin taki kula ni sai Amira taje yiwa magana da kuma su Yasmin. 

Na fahimci har yanzu ni mai laifi ce a gurin ta, na fahimci yaki na ba'a cire Umar completely daga zuciyata kawai yake ba, yaki na ya hada da kokarin samun goyon bayan mahaifiya ta. Dan a matsayin ta na uwa ta fushin ta a gare ni masifa ne.

Kwanan mu biyu da zuwa na fahimci target din ta, she was set on making my life miserable maybe a ganin ta hakan ne zai saka in zabi komawa gidan Umar. Duk motsin da nayi sai ta gaya min magana. And I realized ita a gurin ta kamar zinar da Umar yake yi ba wani babban laifi bane ba wanda ya chanchanci a rabu da shi, a ganinta sauke hakkinsa da yake yi a gare ni ya shafe wannan zinar da yake yi. She kept saying

"Mata nawa ne suke neman samun irin naki? Wata matar in dai zata samu miji kamar Umar to babu ruwanta da bin kwakwkwafin sai ta san abinda yake aikatawa kuma ko ta sani ma ba zata daga hankalin ta ba ballantana har ta nemi saki. Bana so inyi miki baki Jidda, amma ina jiye miki irin mijin da zaki aura nan gaba sai kin yi kukan rashin Umar"

And I remembered some of the comments na mutane lokacin da na nemi shawara a social media, I realized ba ita kadai ce take da irin wannan tunanin ba matan mu da yawa na hausawa suna da irin wannan tunanin. Su a ganin su indai miji yana basu ci da sha da sutura shikenan ya gama musu komai, wannan kuma shi yake kara bawa maza masu halin Umar license na cigaba da halin su, matan sun mance cewa aure is beyond wadannan abubuwan, far beyond. 

Dan ni dai a yanzu personally I rather marry wanda baya wadata ni da wadannan abubuwan amma zai kiyaye mutuncin sa da nawa a zahiri da kuma badini than to marry mai irin halin Umar, in har rashin wadata ne sai mu hadu mu rufa wa juna asiri, in kuma rowa ce sai in dauke kaina daga abinda kake dashi in nemi na kaina.

Tunda naje ban ma saka layi a waya ta ba saboda ina bukatar quietness and peace, da wayar Umma muke gaisawa da mutanen gida, but ban manta da rashin lafiyar Umar ba kuma ina yi masa addu'a sometimes kuma ina saka yayansa suyi masa addu'a duk sanda suka yi sallah kamar yadda nima har yau ban daina addu'ar zabin alkhairi a rayuwata ba da neman Allah ya sassauta min abinda nake ji a zuciyata ya sanya min nutsuwa. 

Satin mu daya a Addis Ababa muka tafi garin Nazret inda nan ne tushen su Umma daga tribe din Oromo anan kusan dukkan yanuwansu suke auncle Muhammad ne kawai da few suke a Addis Ababa suna aikin gwamnati. Sai da na bar inda Umma take sannan na samu nutsuwa na huta da maganganun da take gaya min kullum, sai a lokacin hankali na ya kwanta na fuskanci halin iddar da nake ciki. Wannan yasa sanda Amira zata dawo Addis Ababa sai na hado ta dasu Yasmin ni nayi zamana can gidan auntyn su Umma wadda take a matsayin kamar kakarmu kenan a can. Daga gidan ta kuma sai gidan yarta Nuru wadda take cousin din su Umma kenan kuma tana da yaya da yawa maza da mata ciki har  da babban danta mai suna Salem da kuma yarta mai suna Aida da take kusan sa'a ta kuma muka saba da ita, dan haka nafi jin dadin zaman gidan ta

A haka time yayi ta tafiya har na kammala idda ta kuma a lokacin ne muka fara shirye shiryen dawowa Nigeria musamman saboda sakon da aka aiko min dashi daga gurin aiki cewa ana bukatar ko dai in dawo bakin aiki na ko kuma inyi resigning, wanda a gare ni is not an option a yanzu dan ina tsananin buƙatar aikina. Wannan ya sa muka fara shirin dawowa gida. 

Now; Tunda muka je na fahimci kudurin da Umma da yanuwanta suke shiryawa, suna so ne su hada aure a tsakanin mu mu yan Nijeriya da kuma yanuwan mu da suke Ethiopia dan su karfafa zumuncin tsakanin su. 

"Idan ba'a samu auratayya ba duk ranar da mu iyayen muka mutu to yayan mu ba zasu yi zumunci ba" 

Wannan burin nasu sun dora shine akan Amira, inda suka samo mata responsible samari har guda biyu,  daya cousin din su ne mai suna Djimon (pronounced as Jah-moh) sai kuma Salem dan Aunty Nuru. Daga baya kuma sai wani family friend a Addis Ababa shima ya fara nemanta. Sai dai kuma inda aka samu matsalar shine ita hankalinta yafi karkatuwa akan shi family friend din su kuma su Umma sunfi son dan uwa dan dama saboda zumunci suke son hadin. Wannan yasa Amira a tsaka mai wuya, ni kuma na bata shawarar neman zabin Allah duk da nima nafi son ta da Salem dan na yaba da tsarin sa da yanayin sa, kar kuma ma ayi zancen kyau dan dama mutanen Ethiopia duk duniya ta shaida baiwar kyawun halitta da suke da ita mazan su da matan su.

Sai bayan da na gama idda ne sannan maganar mutuwar aure na ta fara fita a cikin yan'uwa, da yake tun zuwan mu kadan ne suka sani, sai nan da nan cousins din Umma suka fara mata suggesting "ga Jidda nan itama? Ba sai a gwada duk biyun ba mu ga wadda Allah zai tabbatar mana?" Inji Aunty Nyala matar auncle Muhammad da tazo ta tarar muna ta shirye-shiryen kayan mu. 

Na rufe ido na ina ambaton Allah a raina da fatan kar idea din ta shiga kan Umma sai kuwa naji tace "wacce Jidda? Rufa min asiri. Indai wannan yarinyar ce ba za'a gyara zumunci da ita ba sai dai a kara bata shi, wanda ta aura ma tana son sa yana sonta ta matsa ya sake ta saboda kaddarar da Allah ya dora masa ballantana wanda aka hada su? Ai ina jin in an hada da ita ko shiga yayi wadda bata yi mata ba cewa zata yi sai ya sake ta"

Na ajiye kayan hannuna ina jin hawaye yana taruwa a gefen idona. Sai ta fara bawa Aunty Nyala labarin irin soyayya da kuma kulawar da Umar yake yi min amma na guje shi, sai kuma ta rufe laifinsa ta kira abinda yake yi da sunan kaddara. Aunty Hajar ta juyo kaina tayi ta yi min fada tana girmama laifina musamman saboda su din mutane ne masu rikon aure sosai. Na yi shiru ina jinta hawaye yana zuba a ido na. Ban san me yasa mutanen mu suke yiwa kaddara wata irin fahimta ba, ba komai ne mutum zai aikata bisa son zuciyarsa sannan ya kira shi da kaddara ba. 

Kamar yadda Diyam ta fada min ranar nan kuma na amince, idan har komai mutum yayi kaddarar sa ne me yasa akayi wuta da aljanna? Idan har mutane zasu ke yin sata, kisan kai, rape, kuma suna jingina shi da kaddara then me yasa muke da shari'ar da take yanke hukuncin ga mai laifi? Me yasa ba za'a barsu ba kawai ace ai kaddarar su ce babu yadda zasu yi su kauce mata? 

Idan har zinace zinacen da Umar yayi shekara da shekaru yana yi mai yasa a shariance za'a jefe shi da ransa a musulunce?

Life is all about the choices we make. Shine ake kira da jarabawa. Allah zai jarabce ka da son abun wani dan yaga zaka sata ko kuma zaka fi karfin zuciyarka. In case of Umar kuma jarabawar sa shine sha'awar mata, dan Allah ya ga zai iya daurewa yaci jarabawar sa ko kuma zai bi bodily cravings dinsa ya fadi jarabawar? And he chose to fail, his choice, babu ruwan Allah, babu ruwan shaidan, babu ruwan kaddara.

Bayan ta tafi ne sai na sauko daga kan kujerar da nake zaune na durkusa a gaban Umma. Tayi kamar bata ganni ba ta dauko wayarta ta kira Aunty Afia a Nigeria ta na bata labarin maganar Aunty Nyala da kuma amsar da ita ta bata, suka cigaba da kushe maganar tare da kara girmama laifina. Ni kuma ina durkushe ina fama da zafi a zuciyata. 

Ba wai hadin da suke magana akai nake so ba har nake jin haushin kin amincewar su, a'a ni idan da sun karbi hadin ma zanyi iyakacin kokari na gurin tsayar da maganar saboda babu aure a gabana a yanzu haka, amma yadda har yanzu suka kasa fahimta ta shine yake damuna, shine kuma abinda nake so in fahimtar da Umma.

Sai data gama wayar ta ajiye tare da jan tsaki tace "Allah ya kyauta". Na kira sunanta a hankali "Umma" bata kalle ni ba tace "ina jin ki" nace "Umma kiyi hakuri akan abinda ya faru da ni, nasan ba haka kika so ba, Allah ya huci zuciyarki".

Ta juyo tana harara ta "kina sane ai da cewa zaki bata min din ai amma kika yi abinda kika yi din" na girgiza kaina nace "Umma na san ranki zai baci amma ina so ki san cewa nawa ran yafi naki baci akan maganar, tawa zuciyar tafi taki shiga damuwa akan maganar....." Ta katse ni "karya kike yi Hauwa'u. Idan ranki baya so me yasa kika yi. Mutumin nan babu abinda ya rage ki da shi. Mata nawa suke neman irin sa sun rasa? Mata nawa ne suke zaune da wadanda suka fishi munin hali suna hakuri saboda sun san bautar Allah suke yi? Sai ke yar gwal? Ke ce ba zaki iya ba?"

Na danyi shiru ina harhado maganar da zan gaya mata sannan nace "Umma  aure ibada ne, hanya ce ta samun aljanna kuma at the same time hanya ta samun wuta" ta kalle ni da sauri "wuta? Jidda auren ne kike cewa hanyar shiga wuta? Anya kuwa kina da hankali?" 

Na gyada kai na "Umma aure ibada ne, sunna ce mai karfi, amma kuma abinda za'a yi a cikin auren farilla ne, in anyi dai dai a dace da aljanna in anyi ba dai dai ba kuma a samu zunubin da zai iya kai mutum ga wuta. Umma na san kin sha jin labarai na matan da suka kashe mazajen su har lahira, shin wadannan aure ba wuta ya kai su ba? Ko kuma matan da suke zama da mazajensu shekara da shekaru ba tare da suna iya yi musu biyayya ba, ba tare da suna iya hada gado da su ba, shin wadannan aure ba wuta ya kai su ba? Ko kuma matan da mazajensu suke halayya irin ta Umar sai suma suka dauki halayyar a matsayin revenge suke yi dan su rama, shin wadannan suma aure ba wuta ya kai su ba? Umma ki zabar min, da in zauna a gabanki a matsayin bazawara da kuma in fada cikin jerin wadancan matan da na lissafa wanne ne dai dai?"

Na lumshe idona ina tuna marin da nayi wa Umar ranar da zan bar gidan sa da kuma yadda zuciyata tayi ta gaya min in dauki wuka in je in caka masa, tabbas na kusa shiga sahun wadancan matan.

Na goge hawayen da ya fara zarya a kuncina nace "Umma ni ban san komai ba game da rayuwa, dan ilimi na dan kadan nake da shi amma a cikin kadan din nan na san dai dai na san ba dai dai ba. Bani da sani sosai akan rayuwa, amma nasan duk matan da suke zaune da mazaje irin Umar ko kuma wadanda suka fi Umar munin hali to ba suna zaune ne da su saboda suna hakuri irin hakurin da Allah yace ayi ba, da yawa daga cikin su suna zaune ne dan babu yadda zasu yi, wadansu daga cikin su dan suna tsoron in sun rabu da su zasu rasa shinkafa da taliyar da zasu ci, idan kuwa har suna da sana'a ko aiki to dalilin zamansu shine dan iyaye ba zasu karbe su ba in sun koma gida dan wasu iyayen da yarsu ta fito gwara ta mutu dan bakin ciki, idan kuwa har iyayen zasu karbe su kuma still suke zaune to dan suna tsoron zawarci ne suna tsoron loosing sunan su na matar aure da kuma tunanin mijin da zasu aura nan gaba wanda ni a ganina ba dalili bane ba dan Allah ne mai zaben miji ba mutum ba, kamar yadda ya baka wancan haka zai baka wani ko da kuwa shima mai irin waccan matsalar ne ko kuma wata daban sai ka dauke shi shima a matsayin wata kaddarar ta daban. Idan kuwa har dukkan wadannan sharudan sun cika kuma still suna gayawa kansu suna zaman hakuri ne to watakila suna yin irin hakurin da nayi shekara shida ina yi ne, hakurin da babu lada a cikin sa "

"Umma mu'amala da fasiki haramun ne. Duk wanda kuwa ya san da haka amma yake cigaba da yi bisa wani dalili nasa yake gayawa kansa cewa hakuri yake yi to tabbas bashi da ladan hakuri, dan bana jin akwai lada a cikin aikin haram. Kuma ba dan Allah yake yi ba, kamar yadda na zauna da Umar dan ina son shi na cigaba da gaya wa kaina cewa zaman hakuri nake yi"

"Umma ina ganin ubangiji ya haramta mu'amala da fasiki ne saboda hikimomi irin nasa, na farko kamar yadda na fada ita halayya naso take yi, in kana abota ko auratayya ko ma wacce irin nau'in mu'amala ce da akwai chance na cewa kaima zaka dauki fasikancin sa wata rana, ko ba zina ba ko da salon magana ne in kana tare da mutum sai kaga ka koyi irin yanayin maganar sa ba tare da kai kanka kasan sanda ka fara yi ba, hikima ta biyu a fahimta ta ita ce shi fasiki kullum yana tare ne da fushin ubangiji da kuma tsinuwar malaiku, idan kuma ubangiji yayi niyyar saukar da fushin sa akan fasikin nan ba lallai ne masifar da zata same shi ta same shi shi kadai ba, zata shafa ne har da wadanda suke tare da shi, duk wanda ya zauna dasu har fushin ubangiji ya shafe shi shi ya jawo wa kansa tunda kiri kiri ubangiji ya haramta mu'amala da su. Hikima ta uku a fahimta ta itace idan ana kyamar su ana kin muamala da su ana kuma kin basu aure da kuma raba auratayya dasu hakan zai yi discouraging masu son joining dinsu, hakan zai saka rayuwa tayi musu kunci watakila kuma sanadiyyar hakan su samu shiriya. Amma in ana cigaba da zama da su ana cigaba da muamala da su ana nuna musu abinda suke yi ba komai bane ba kamar ana kara musu karfin gwuiwar cigaba da abinda suke yi ne. May Allah forgive me if any of the things I said is wrong but ni haka na fahimta"

"Umma ni ban san komai ba, amma na san banbancin halal da haram, na kuma san hukuncin kowanne daga ciki. Na san cewa rabuwar aure halal ce....." Na fada ina bude mata hannu na na dama a gabanta, "na san kuma auren fasiki haramun ne" na bude mata hannu na na hagu a gabanta sannan ina kallon ta nace "umma a matsayin ki na mahaifiya ta wanne zaki zabamin tsakanin halal da haram? Wanne ne kike ganin zai sa in dace a duniya da kuma a lahira?" 

Ta jima tana kallona sai kuma ta dauke kai gefe tace "Allah ya sa hakan shi yafi alkhairi" na sauke ajjiyar zuciya nace "ameen Umma. Na gode" sai na mike zan shiga cikin daki. 

Ta kira sunana "Jidda" na amsa tare da juyowa sai tace "Hajiya ta san maganar nan? Me tace akai?" Na danyi murmushi nace "Hajiya ta sani Umma, bata ce komai ba kuma ba zata ce komai ba, ubangiji ya riga yayi taking care of her for me"

Washegari muka bar kasar very relaxed and very satisfied. A jirgi na tuno da damuwar da na shiga ranar da zamu taho saboda ina tunanin rashin lafiyar Umar sai na fahimci yanzu babu ko rabin damuwar a tare da ni, na fahimci cewa Umar ya fara fita daga raina kamar yadda aurensa ya fice gabakidaya daga raina. 

Muna zuwa muka tarar da yan taryar mu, Yaya Tahir da matarsa da babyn su, Abbah, da kuma Farhan. A gida kuma muka tarar Abba har da sakawa a gyara wa Umma dakinta, mun lura har kwalliya yayi ya saka kaya masu kyau, ni da Farhan muka yi ta gulmar sa muna cewa yayi wa amaryar sa kwalliya. Mun kuma tarar neman auren Farhan ya kankama har an kawo kuɗi dan ma tace Abba ne yake ta delaying maganar yace bai gama bincike ba, a raina nace "an sha Abba ya warke, ba zai kuma sake ba".

A sitting room na tarar da kayana, har furnitures din gabaki daya na bedroom dina dana falo dana dakin yara, an cika su a sitting room din an daina amfani da shi, sai Abbah yake ce mana wai aiko dasu aka yi daga gidan su Umar, ban ce komai ba na bar maganar.

Washegari na shirya yara suka da kayan su nace Amira ta kai su gidan kakannin su su kwana biyu tare da su, bata jima ba sai gata ta dawo, a ranar da dare kuma sai Mama ta kira ni wai yara sun ce a kira ni su gaishe ni, sai kace ba dazu muka rabu ba, bayan mun gaisa da su kuma sai ta karba tace min "su Yasmin sunyi kyau kamar ba su ba, har fari naga sun kara yi" na danyi dariya nace "watakila weather din garin ce ta karbe su" tace "haka ne. Allah ya sa zaku samu bikin Mufida. Tana ta nemanki a waya bata san yadda zata same ki ba tace a social media ma kina offline" sai naji babu dadi wai za'a yi bikin Mufida ban sani ba, nace zan kira ta a waya. Har munyi sallama kuma sai tace "gashi kuma su Yasmin basu samu babansu ba, amma na kira shi a waya sun gaisa" sai naji babu dadi da ban tambayi jikinsa ba nace "ya jikin nasa, ya samu sauki kenan tunda har yayi tafiya" tace "jikinsa da sauki. Amma yanzu ma yana asibiti a Dubai. Muna dai saka ran za'a sallame shi kafin bikin Mufida" nace "ayya, Allah ya kara masa lafiya" sai tace "zan turo miki number din da yake using a can sai ki kira shi ki duba shi, dan Allah" sai na kasa ce mata a'a, nace to.

Muna ajiye wayar sai ga number ta turo min mai code din Dubai, nayi saving da sunan "Dubai" amma ban kira ba kuma bani da niyya.

Washegari da safe na koma gurin aiki na, nayi cike ciken duk da ya kamata inyi sannan aka yi posting dina paediatric ward aka saka ni a duty roster sai na dawo gida, ina zuwa na tarar da Abba a tsakar gida na gaishe shi sai yayi min maganar kayana da aka zuba a sitting room, "ya zaki yi dasu? Dan babu dakin da zasu shiga a gidan nan" na danyi tunani sai nace masa "siyarwa zanyi" ya gyada kai "hakan ma dai dai ne, in an siyar din sai a ajiye kudin in Allah ya kawo wani auren kinga cikawa kawai za'a yi ayi wasu kayan" nayi murmushi kawai, shi Abba har ya fara yi min lissafin wani auren.

Sai kuma yayi min maganar inda zamu zauna ni da yara. "Ga daki nan ciki daya inda yaruwarki take, tunda ta kusa tashi ke sai ki zauna a ciki tare da yaran. Sai na samu kudi sai a danyi muku gyara a ciki a shigar muku da bandakin tsakar gidan nan zuwa cikin dakin saboda sanyi" 

Na danyi murmushi ina jin dadi nace "Abba akwai wasu kudade a hannuna sai ayi amfani da su gurin gyaran" yace "ba wani gyara za'a yi da yawa ba ai, ɗan yadda zaku ji daɗin zama ne kafin Allah ya fito da wani mijin" na sake murmushi. Abba will never change.

Da dare ina kwance ina kewar yayana sai ga kira ya shigo waya ta, na duba naga "Dubai" sai nayi tsaki na ajiye wayar, I need to learn to say "no" and mean "no" bana son ayi ta kwan gaba kwan baya akan magana ta da Umar, an riga anyi an gama sai dai kuma labari, labarin ma watarana ba za'a yi shi ba

Ganin wayar tana ta kara har Umma ta fara kallon ta sai na dauka na saka ta a silent sannan na kife ta dan kar ta cigaba da haske. Sai da nayi bacci na farka sannan na duba wayar na ga 5 missed calls daga Dubai, da kuma message guda daya "Jidda. Umarul Faruq ne" na ja tsaki, as if I don't know. Na san shi din ne ai shi yasa naki dauka. 

Washegari kafin in fita office na kira Abbah karami muka yi maganar gyaran dakin da Abba ya bani, plaster kawai za'a gyara inda ya danyi cracks sannan ayi fenti, sai toilet da za'a yiwa gyare-gyare a shigar da shi ciki, babu bata lokaci yayi min bill din komai na bashi aka fara aiki, cikin kankanin lokaci aka gama gyaran dakin fes kamar na amarya. 

Sai kuma muka koma maganar siyar da kayan dakina, dan sunyi wa dakin girma. Tunanin farko da yazo kaina shine na wasu instagram accounts din da nake ganin suna siyar da second hand kayayyaki kuma na fahimci suna ciniki sosai saboda yadda nake ganin responses na mutane. Sai nayi tunanin why not inyi musu magana su zo su sayi nawa su siyar? 

Sai kuma na sake wani tunanin, why not nima in bude irin wannan business din? Why not nima in siyar da kayayyaki na da kaina through the same process da naga suna using sannan kuma in cigaba da siya daga gurin mutane ina siyarwa? 

I thought about it a lot and realized it wasn't such a bad idea, sai kuma nayi addu'a akan hakan na kuma gayawa Umma nace itama ta gaya wa Abba in samu amincewar su and I set up my mind to it, sai fatan Allah ya bani nasara. 

Katifa kawai na dauka a cikin kayana na saka a sabon dakina na saka carpet a kasa tare da labulaye, sai kuma na bayar aka yi min wardrobe madaidaiciya wadda zata shiga dakin kuma zata dauki kayan mu, na zuba mana kayan sakawar mu ni da yarana, sannan a dakin ma na zuba mana abubuwan da nake ganin zamu bukata irin su shoe rack, standing fan, da dan karamin set na kujera da table wanda zamu iya zama akai muyi rubutu and I was happy with my new room, with my new life.

Naci sa'a Abba ya amince da maganar business dina sai dai da sharadin ba zan ke fita anyhow da sunan kasuwanci ba sai dai in samu mai yi min ni kuma ina funding. Na yarda da sharadin, sannan nayi masa godiya.

Abbah karami na samu da maganar business din da nake so in fara, kuma na nemi muyi hadin gwiwa ni da shi saboda shi namiji ne zai taimaka min wajen zirga zirga da kuma abubuwan da suke buƙatar lokaci da karfi, da yake shi mai business mind ne dan yafi son kasuwanci ma akan karatu sai ya amince. Muka yi yarjejeniyar zan ke bashi 30% na duk ribar da muka samu. Shi ya ringa fita da kayan cikin railer din kofar gidan mu yana daukan su pictures, furnitures din dakina dana falo da na dakin yara da dining table da kuma tv set, da su muka fara. 

A take muka saka a whatsapp status din mu da kuma instagram accounts dinmu muka yi captioning as for sale. Nasan yan'uwa da friends zasu gani kuma zasuyi magana, mutane zasu fadi duk abinda suka ga dama akan siyar da kayan da zanyi but I don't care. Yes, bani na siya kayan ba amma ina ganin zaman auren da nayi da Umar da yayan da na haifa masa I deserve that, kuma bani na roke shi ba. 

Ina saka wa mutane suka fara tambayar price, da yawa daga cikin masu tambayar na san ba siya zasu yi ba amma na biye musu na ringa fada musu price din da na saka wa kayan. It was hard at first, kamar ba za'a siya ba amma kyawun kayan da kuma quality din su dan banbancin su da sababbi kadan ne amarya ma zata iya using, sai gashi wata colleague dina a asibiti ta hada ni da wata mata da ta siya set din kujerun da kuma gadon ta kuma siyar min da nata da take son chanjawa, Abbah kuma aka siyi dining table a hannunsa. And that was the beginning of my business carrier..........

Daya daga cikin dakunan cikin sitting room muka roki Abba ya bamu sai muka bude shi muka yi extending dinsa zuwa railer din kodar gida, yayi girma sosai, anan muka zuba kayan kasuwancin mu, Abbah karami har da saka table da kujera wai office dinsa ne a matsayin sa na manager. Sai kuma na bude instagram handle musamman saboda business din na kuma saka masa suna "Used...to be reused" Sai nayi sharing link din zuwa duk sauran social media accounts dina na nemi mutane suyi following, na kuma nemi yan uwa da abokan arziki su taya ni sharing dan in kara samun followers, sai kuma na nemi wadanda nake kallo a matsayin social media celebrities suma na roke su suyi min talla a handles din su, wadansu sunyi min free wadansu kuma sai da na biya su something but it was worth it dan nan da nan followers dina suka fara counting in thousands, ni kuma na dage gurin daukan pictures din kayan kitchen dina, labulaye na, da kuma kayan matar da na siya wadanda Abba ya kai aka gyara su akayi musu sabon penti.

Ai kuwa nan take aka fara rububin siyan kayan kitchen dina da tv set da sauran electronics dina, kowa kuma in ya siya zan tabbatar masa da cewa in ya same su faulty zai iya dawowa da su ya karbi kudinsa, ina yi kuma ina cigiyar wanda yake son siyar da kayan sa. Ban jima ba na samu wata da zasu sake gida kuma zasu sake komai na kayan gidan, thought sababbi take so dan haka bata siya daga gare ni ba amma ta siyar min da komai nata, wanda kafin in gama siya sai da nayi wa account dina tas but it was worth it dan komai da na siya sai na gyara abinda yake bukatar gyara sannan na kara reasonable riba a kai. At the end sai na samu riba da yawa. 

And that was how it goes.....

Wannan kenan...

Meanwhile, Na nemi school a kusa damu inda za'a ke iya zuwa da kafa, kuma nayi sa'a na sami wata mai kyau anan kusa damu nayiwa Yasmin da Asad register. Nasan babansu ya kamata ya biya musu but I don't want to ask, musamman tunda yana asibiti, in ya samu lafiya ya biya shikenan in bai biya ba ma in dai ina da hali zan cigaba da biya, 'ya'yana ne nima.

Sai da na gama settling zancen makaranta sannan na kira Mufida na nemi yara su dawo zasu fara zuwa school. Ita da kanta ta kawo su, wannan shine ganin da nayi mata na farko tun da na bar gidan Umar and I saw that ta chanja da yawa, kamar ba ita ba, kamar wata mufidan ce aka saka a gangar jikin wadda na sani. Babu wannan tsaurin idon babu wannan gayun, babu wannan surutun. She looks calm and cool. Na tambaye ta dalili sai ta nuna min maganar auren ne, ta ce, "cousin din mu ne, ina jin zaki san Yaya Abdullahi dan Baffa Halilu" na rike baki, tabbas na san Yaya Abdullahi kusan shine babba a cikin 'ya'ya na family dinsu kuma bashi da wasa, dan haka kusan kowa tsoron sa yake ji ciki har da Umar, Mufida kuwa dama shine dodonta, dan yanzu zai wanke mutum tas, very disciplined but yana da kirki dan sai kayi ba dai dai bane ba sannan zaka ga bad side of him. Nasan yana da aure already tun ma kafin in auri Umar yana da yaya ma, kenan Mufida a ta biyu zata shiga. 

Mun jima muna hirar bikin da ita wanda za'a yi in three weeks time, duk da na fahimci ba wani shiri take yi ba sai few events din da za'a yi a gida.

Sai da zata tafi sannan tace "naga kin fara sabon business, Allah ya sa albarka" nace "ameen ya Rabbi" tace "so kike dai ki koma Hajiya kwanan nan, ga aiki ga business duk ke kadai" nace "to ya za'a yi, rayuwar ce sai da haka" ta danyi shiru sannan tace "babu maganar yayana kenan ko?" Na bata rai "kar muyi haka dake Mufida, kar muyi maganar nan dake" tace "saboda menene? Ba sai kin fada min dalilin rabuwar ki da shi ba na sani, na sani fiye da abinda kika sani kuma maybe abinda na sani wanda baki sani ba shi yasa ki ka ƙi sassauta masa. Da kin sani da kin fahimci cewa ko da kudi aka ce yaje yayi abinda yake yi a da ba zai je ba. Duk da bansan yawan abinda kika sani din ba amma abinda ni na sani a yanzu shine yaya Umar din yanzu ba Yaya Doctor ɗin da bane ba. Maybe in kika ganshi zaki fahimci haka. Dan Allah Jidda zai dawo next week, please in ya dawo ki ganshi"

Ban ce mata komai ba ban kuma ji a raina cewa zan ganshi din ba, but I found myself wondering "what happened?"


Ga masu son siya zasu iya turo kudin su #300 zuwa wannan account din

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*Wannan littafin na siyarwa ne bisa amana idan baki siya ba kar ki karanta idan kuma kin siya kar ki sharing in kika yi kin ci amana kuma ke da Allah*

*Beyond Caring*

*One Bad Chapter Does Not Mean Your Story Is Over*

Sosai na zama involved in harkokin bikin Mufida, ina gaya wa kaina cewa she deserves it from me ba wai dan yayan ta ba sai dan kawancen da yake tsakanin mu. Nina bude group a WhatsApp specifically saboda shirye shiryen bikin Mufida na saka friends din mu muka fara maganar anko da sauran su wadanda da duk ba ayi ba gashi lokaci ya kure dan haka babu bata lokaci muka fitar cikin sa'a akwai mai siyar da sutura a cikin mu dan haka ita ta kawo mana kowa har gida muka kuma fara rigimar neman tailor. Events kuma mun ma tsa wa Mufida lallai sai munyi wani abu ko guda daya ne, ta dage lallai ba tason dinner, bata son duk wani abu da zaiyi involving maza, a karshe muka tsayar da magana akan zamuyi bridal shower anan gidan su, dan ta ce ba zata je ko'ina ba. Wannan ya sa na kuma fahimtar lallai auren hadi ne za'a yi musu but I was surprised da ta karbi hadin dan nasan Mufida direct zata iya cewa bata so.

Mun gama shirye-shiryen mu tas na biki, duk da dai ba wani fita nake yi ba dan Abba yana nan a yadda na tafi na barshi in ba office ba babu inda nake zuwa, duk wani abun da zanyi sai dai in naje office kafin in dawo gida in yi in kuwa ba haka ba in na shiga na shiga kenan sai kuma wani lokacin. Na siyawa Mufida gifts dai dai gwargwado amma ima ta tunanin yadda bikin zai kasance, yadda zan shiga gidan su Umar a matsayin kawar Mufida, yadda zan fuskanci yanuwansa. I kept asking myself "sun sani kuwa? In sun sani how much did they know? Ya zasu karbe ni? Kar fa inje in kai kaina inda za'a wulakanta ni"

Wannan yasa ranar kamu kirmisisi naki zuwa. I lost the courage I thought I had. Da kawayen mu suka ishe ni da waya ma sai ma kashe wayata. Ai kuwa da dare ina kunnawa Mufida ta kira ni har da kukan ta wai ban kyauta mata ba, she then admitted to me cewa ba son mijin ta ke yi ba hadin iyayene which she can't say no to, she told me sai da na shiga cikin maganar bikin nayi supporting dinta sannan ta fara samun courage yanzu kuma duk na karbe courage din and she felt down taji bikin ya sake fita daga ranta. 

I felt bad ni din ma and then promised her zan shiga washegari which is the bridal shower we organized, dan ni nayi hiring masu decorations ma suka je suka yi decorating falon Baba inda anan ne zamuyi. But then I asked her question din da rashin amsar ta ce ta kara discouraging dina akan zuwa gidan nasu. 

"Ina yayan ki? Ya dawo?" 

Ta danyi shiru "saboda shi kika ki zuwa? Yanzu har tsakanin ku ya kai cewa ba kya son ganin sa?" Na girgiza kaina kamar tana kallona nace "no ba haka bane ba, ina so ne dai in san ko yana nan dan in.......dan in.......taho masa da yaransa su gaisa" 

Tace "tun last week ake saka ran zuwansa, amma bai samu taho wa ba though an sallame shi daga asibiti but in sha Allah cikin tsakanin gobe da jibi zai iso, dan yana son samun daurin aure" na gyada kai. "Okay. Shikenan. Zan taho dasu. Just in case"

Da wannan na shirya washegari muka tafi gidan tare da Farhan. Ina ta jan jiki na ina tunanin karbar da za'a yi min a gidan sai dai banga wani canjin fuska sosai ba, most of them suna tambayata ne akan rashin ganina jiya, wadansu kuma suna tambayata jikin Umar, akwai wadanda na lura ma suna tunanin tare muka tafi Dubai ɗin. Na jikin su sosai ne naga alamar sun sani.

Ban jima da zuwa ba Mama ta kira ni dakin ta. "Jidda naji dadi da kika zo, dama ana ta tambayar ki tun jiya. Dan Allah ina neman alfarma a gurin ki kar ki nunawa mutane wani abu, kiyi harkar ki kamar yadda kika saba duk biki a gidan nan. Bana so mutane su san abinda yake faruwa" naji maganar wani iri sai nace "amma Mama ba kya ganin fadar gaskiya ta fi? Idan basu sani yanzu ba ma ai watarana zasu sani... " 

Ta katse ni "wadanda suka sani sun sani, wadanda basu sani ba kuma bana fatan su sani. Ina fatan komai zai zo ya wuce kafin su sani din" nayi shiru kawai na bar maganar dan har yau da Mama take no longer uwar mijina still ba zan iya jayayya doguwa da ita ba, na fahimci kuma har yanzu tana son in komawa Umar ne. But bana jin abinda take so din is possible.

Lafiya lau aka yi taron aka gama, Mufida ta saki jiki ta yanka cake din ta anyi mana hotuna sosai kuma duk munyi kyau Masha Allah, har aka tashi banga alamar Umar yana gidan ba dan haka na kara sakin jikina har da rawa ana yi mana video ni da amarya. Kawayen mu da suka san mun rabu da Umar suna da mamaki na wai su ba zasu iya ba ni kuma a cikin raina ina ta gaya wa kaina cewa bikin kawata nake yi ba wai bikin kanwar ex husband dina ba, dan sai da na fara sanin Mufida kafin in san Umar.

Washegari yini. Ranar da kyar Abba ya bar ni dan da farko cewa yayi ba zan je ba wanda naje musu jiya ma Allah ya sa albarka. Har na hakura, sai dai ban san abinda zan gaya wa Mufida ba sai na samu Umma ta hau saman sa ta lallaba min shi da kyar ya bar ni amma da jan kunnen kar inyi dare.

"Kar aga tana zarya a gidan ace kome take nema"

Ni dai tunda na samu aka barni sai na kama shiri, sai da na dauko dinkin ankon da Amira ta karbo min dazu a gurin tailor sannan murna ta koma ciki, gabaki daya yaki shiga jikina, daga rigar har skirt din. Na sake kallon kaina a madubi for the first time ina lura da yadda nayi kiba kamar an saka min yeast. Ina jin mutane suna fadar nayi kiba a yan kwanakin nan amma ni sam bana gani musamman saboda ban cika kallon kaina a madubi ba kuma ban fiya saka dinkakkun kaya ba mostly abaya nake dorawa akan uniform dina wadanda dama burma burma aka yi min su. 

Na zauna na zabga tagumi ina kallon kayan. Sai kuma na saka su a leda na fita zuwa gurin wani tailor a bakin layin mu na roke shi ya bude min su, da kyar yayi min dan yana ganin mutuncina, amma duk da haka bai samu space sosai ba dan kadan ya samu ya kara min yace "dama yanzu Jidda sai kin sake measurements, in kika cigaba da using measurements dinki na da to za'a ke miki kayan da ba zasu shige ki ba" 

Na kalli kaina ta cikin hijab sannan na kalle shi. Bama wasa da shi dan haka ban ja maganar ba na karbi kayana na koma gida na saka su da kyar ina lura da yadda suka kamani musamman ma skirt din. Wannan ya kara makarar da ni duk da ban tsaya wata kwalliya sosai ba sai abin da ba za'a rasa ba na saka hijab dina na tafi. Saurin da nake yi ya saka na manta ma da wani fargabar haduwa da Umar a gidan. Ina zuwa bayan amarya ta gama yi min mitar na makara ban zo da wuri munyi wanka tare mun shirya tare a gidan ba, sai kuma na shiga hidimar saukar kawayen mu, duk kawayen mu suna dakin Aunty kuma abincin su yana hannuna dan haka na cire hijab dina na shiga hidima. 

Na lura da fuskokin mutane da yawa wadanda na sani a zamanin aure na da Umar, ciki har da Ummi kanwar Aunty da kuma Asabe. Ummi na ganta ta girma sosai ta zama cikakkiyar mace har da yar kyakykyawar babyn ta a hannun ta, nayi wa Aunty mitar kin gayyatar mu bikin Ummi da tayi kamar yadda tayi alkawari sannan na dauki babyn nayi mata wasa ina jin zuciyata fes babu wani abu na riko ko jin haushi a cikin ta. 

Asabe kuma na ganta tana ta harkokin ta tare da kakarta, na lura kamar a gidan suke zaune tare a wani daki da da nasan na baki ne mata. Kallo daya nayi mata naga tayi kwalliyar ta cikin sababbin kayanta fes da ita, sai dai ko kadan kyawun kayan jikinta bai boye kauyancinta, rashin wayewa da kuma rashin ilimi ba, daga alama duniya tana zuwa mata yadda take so. Duk da na lura kamar saniyar ware take a gidan, yan uwan mijin nata da surukar tata ba sa kulata. Na lura tana ta so tayi min magana amma naki bata kofa saboda ni a ganina babu magana da ta rage tsakanin mu. Idan da son samu nane ma, idan ba dan Mufida ba, babu abinda zai kuma saka wa mu shaki iska daya da ita.

A haka har magrib tayi, mutane suka fara watsewa muka fara kokarin tattara gidan da gyaran abubuwan da aka bata ni kuma na fara shirin tafiya gida amma da niyyar zan bar su Yasmin su kwana a gidan kamar yadda Mama ta bukata. 

A cikin wannan lokacin ne na shiga kitchen ina harhada soveniers din da suka rage na kawayen mu sai ga Asabe ta biyo ni kitchen din, naji an shigo amma ban waiga ba, warin kashinta na fara ji na gane ita ce, na juyo ina kallon ta bance komai ba sai ta fara jujjuya hannunta tana cewa "mommy. Dama ina ta so in ganki in sake baki hakuri akan abinda ya faru. Naji ana cewa wai kun rabu da Daddyn Yasmin ko? Ni kuma gashi an daura mana aure da shi. Shine nace zan kara baki hakuri in kara gaya miki cewa ba laifi na bane ba shine ya...."

Na daga mata hannu "kin an dalilin da yasa Umar ya sake ni?" Ta girgiza kai da sauri, nace "saboda na tona asirin abinda ya faru tsakanin ku. Duk shekarun da muka yi da shi ban taba fadar halinsa na neman mata ba shi yasa bai taba saki na ba. Amma da na fada sai ya sake ni. Kina so kema ki zauna da shi tsahon shekaru ba tare da ya sake ki ba?" Ta gyada kai da sauri nace "to ki iya bakin ki. Kar ki kuma furtawa kowa maganar nan in kuwa kika fada kuma yaji to tabbas zai sake ki kamar yadda ya sake ni" 

Naga tsoro ya bayyana a fuskarta. Dama target dina kenan. So nake in tsorata ta dan nasan babu abinda take so a yanzu irin zama da Umar. Duk da Umar yanzu ba miji na bane ba tabbas har yanzu yana matsayin uban yayana kuma ba zan so wannan shashashar take yawo da zancen su a cikin mutane ba. 

Ta sake matsowa kusa dani "shikenan mommy, na gode, alƙur'an ba zan sake fada ba" na dan kara matsawa ina cigaba da abin da nake yi, sai kuma na sake juyowa na sake kallonta kadan, wani abu yana daukan hankali na a tare da ita. She looks fuller and firmer. 

Na sake kare mata kallo. She definitely looks pregnant. Na dauke kaina tare da gaya mata cewa ta fita ina aiki ne. But sai naji wani zafi da na jima banji ba ya soki zuciyata. Na ajiye ledar hannu na tare da dafe kaina da hannu daya. Banso su Yasmin su samu kani ko kanwa ta wannan hanyar ba.

Ina tsaye a haka naji an bude kofar kitchen din an shigo. Ban kalla ba sai rufe ido na da nayi ina kokarin daidaita yanayin fuska ta dan bana son ko waye ya lura ina cikin damuwa. Sai dai ko second biyu banyi ba na bude idon da sauri saboda kamshin da naji na juyo na sauke ido na a kansa. 

Ya rame da gasken gaske. Ramar sai ta kara masa tsaho fiye da already tsahon da yake dashi kuma kananan kayan da suke jikinsa suka kara fito da tsahon. Ya aske dukkanin sajen fuskarsa ta zama smooth, abinda ban taba ganin yayi ba. Ya kuma kara fari sosai kamar wanda aka zuke jinin jikinsa. 

Yana tsaye a bakin kofar fuskar sa cloudy with emotions, kofofin hancinsa suna budewa suna rufewa da sauri. His jaw strong his lips tight. Na dauke idona daga kansa na juya da sauri na cigaba da zuba kayan gabana a cikin babbar ledar hannuna. 

"Jidda"

Ya kira sunana, na dan juyo kadan nace "na'am. Ya kake?" 

Yayi shiru ni kuma na cigaba da aikin gabana trying so hard not to think. Kamar ba zai kuma magana ba sai yace "ya nake? Shine abinda zaki ce min kadai?" Na ajiye ledar na juyo sosai "me kake so? Akwai abinda kake bukata ne?" 

Ya saka hannu ya shafa kansa looking frustrated. Sai kuma yayi gyaran murya kamar mai selecting words yace "afuwan. I kept thinking my heart and yours are the same. I kept thinking kina tunani na kamar yadda nake tunanin ki. I kept imagining you by my bed side kina jinyar zuciyarki kamar yadda naje jinyar tawa. I should have known daga lack of care dinki cewa you don't care....." 

Nace "I cared and cared and cared. Now I am beyond caring. Ina yi maka fatan alkhairi. But now you must excuse me dan ina sauri ne zan tafi gida" 

Bai ce komai ba sai ji nayi ya tura kofar kitchen din ya rufe. Na ajiye ledar hannu na na rike kugu zan zazzaga masifa sai kuma na tuna babu hijab a jikina kuma Umar ba muharramina bane ba. 

Na nuna shi da yatsa "ka bani guri in wuce" ya jingina da kofar yana rarraba ido akan fuskata kamar mai kokarin haddace kowanne loko da sako na jikinta yace "we need to talk" nace "not now, I am busy. In magana ce da kai akan yayanka ka samu Abba ko yaya Tahir kuyi sune maza, apart from that kuma ni bani da sauran wata magana da zanyi da kai. Now, ina son zuwa in saka hijab dina dan kai ba muharramina bane ba da zan tsaya kana kare min kallo a bati"

Ya dan saki baki yana kallona daga sama zuwa kasa sannan yace "da me ya sa baki saka hijab din ba?" Nace "saboda a cikin mata nake kuma banyi tunanin wani gardi zai shigo ya rufe kofa ya tsaya yana kare min kallo ba" 

"Gardi?" Ya maimaita, nace "ba shi bane ba?" Ya nuna kansa "I am Umar, your husband" ya fada yana nuna kansa kamar mau tunanin ban gane shi ba. Nace "point of correction. Ex husband. Now if you will excuse me kamar yadda na fada maka ina sauri ne zan tafi gidan dan baba na baya barina inyi dare a waje"

Ya dan matsa baya kadan ni kuma na bude kofar da dan karfi making sure ta dake shi sannan ba tare da na kalle shi ba ballantana in yi masa sannu na fita falo. 

Sai dai ina fita naji motsinsa da kamshin sa a bayana, na matsa gefe da sauri sannan ya samu damar shiga palon sosai. Sai a lokacin na lura cewa zuwansa kenan gidan daga airport dan yadda sisters dinsa suka fara rige rigen zuwa su rungume shi. Sauran yanuwa da basu gama tafiya ba suma duk suka mike ana ta murna tare da tambayar sa jikinsa, abokan wasa suna tsokanar sa da "gawa ta ƙi rami" wasu kuma da basu san mun rabu ba suna zolayarsa da cewa daga shigowa gidan sai ya tafi gurina maimakon yazo gurin Mama ta fara ganinsa tukunna.

Na lura da yadda ya durkusa nesa kadan ya gaishe da Mama da kuma Aunty, sabanin da yadda yake zuwa ya rungume Mama ko ya kwanta a jikin ta, itama kuma tana zaune a i da take tunda ya shigo bata yi irin rawar kan da take yi akan sa ba. 

Ni dai na wuce su na shiga dakin Aunty inda sauran kawayen mu suke jira na na kawo musu soveniers din su. Naga Asad da Yasmin suna game a wayar Mufida, casually nace musu, "kids! Ku je falo ga Daddy can ya zo" suka juyo da sauri suna kallona da budaddun idanuwan su kamar basu yarda da abinda nace ba sai na kara cewa "da gaske nake fa, ko ya koma ne?" 

A guje suka yar da wayar hannunsu suka zuba tsere zuwa falo, na bisu da murmushi sannan na juyo ina kallon Mufida wadda nayi tsammanin da ita za'a yi tseren zuwa taryar Umar amma sai naga ta dauki wayarta da suka yar tana gogewa tana murmushi. Nace "ke ba zaki taryar yaya Doctor din ba" bata kalle ni ba tace "munyi waya ai. Ni na ce masa kina kitchen" na harare ta sai tayi dariya. But still nayi tunanin zata je amma bata je ba. And I wondered me yasa suka zama distant.

Ina gama hada kayana na fito zam tafi tare da yiwa Mufida alkawarin zan dawo washegari daurin aure da kai amarya duk da nasan ba cika alkawarin zanyi ba dan bana son abinda zai kuma hada ni da Umar a cikin gidan su, koma ina son dawowar na tabbatar Abba ba zai bari ba. Sai dai ina fita falo na ganshi zaune akan carpet hannayensa biyu rungume da yayansa da suke bashi labari su biyu at the same time, shi kuma sai murmushi yake yana shafa kitson Yasmin. Ban so mu kuma haduwa ba amma dole in bi ta falon idan zan fita, kuma in nace zan bari sai ya tafi to tabbas zan kara dare inyi laifi a gurin Abba.

Na dan tsaya daga gefe nayi wa Mama da Aunty sallama, naga alamar Mama bata ji dadin hakan ba tana ta kallon sauran matan gurin da suke kallona cikin alamar tambaya. Ni kuma ko a jiki na dan ni banga amfanin boyewar ba. 

Sai kuma tayi saurin cewa "Umar kaje ka kaita gidan mana, sai ka dawo" ban ce komai ba na fita amma nasan ba abinda zai shigar dani motar Umar. Sai dai ba zan yarfa ta a gaban mutane ba.

Ya mike a hankali yana cije lips dinsa alamar har yanzu baya jin dadi. Ya biyo baya na su Yasmin suka biyo mu suma Asad yana rike hannunsa "Daddy muma zamu bi ku" Yasmin tace "mommy gidan mu zamu tafi ko?" Ban kula su ba dukkan su na fita compound sannan na kama hanyar gate ina zabga sauri. Ya dan kara sauri ya kamo ni su Yasmin suna dan baya kadan yace "ba zaki zo in kai ki ba ko?" Nace "eh. And don't insist in ba haka ba zaka jawo hankalin mutane kan mu" ya gyada kai "it is okay. Just give me the time da zamuyi magana. I tried communicating to you several times amma ba kya responding. Tunda na fara shirin dawowa alla I can think of is seeing and talking to you. Ironing things. Shi yasa ina sauka na kira Mufida na tambaye ta inda kike tunda ina saka ran kinzo bikinta. Please Jidda, na san kin tsane ni yanxu and all that but just hear me out....." 

Na dakata da tafiyar da nake yi na juyo ina kallon sa ina jin raina yana baci nace "I don't hate you Umar. I just don't care. I don't want to talk to you. I don't want to hear anything from you. Ina yi maka fatan alkhairi. That's all" 

Ya juyo sosai muna facing juna ta cikin sauran hasken gari da bai gama tafiya ba. Yace "ko ba zaki ji komai ba ina so kiji dalilin da yasa na rubuta miki wannan takardar. Dalili biyu ne. Na farko dan ina so in nesanta ki da kaina, ina so in cire miki title na mata ta dan ina tsoron kar cikin bakaken kaddarorin da suke fada min a lokacin su fada a kanki. Na biyu kuma ina so inyi respecting wishes dinki na rabuwa da ni. Ina so ki fahimci cewa na yarda zaki iya rayuwa babu ni kamar yadda kika sha fada min. Sai dai kuma a watanni hudun nan na fahimci cewa ni din ba zan iya rayuwa babu ke ba kamar yadda nayi gangancin fada miki ranar nan....." 

Na juya na cigaba da tafiya ina jin dacin da na jima ban ji shi ba yana kawo ziyara makogwarona. Ya cigaba da tafiya a gefe na "Jidda ciwon zuciya nake fama da shi. Incurable. Na samu sauki amma ba zan warke ba har abada dashi zan tafi kabari na" na juyo da sauri nace "kamar yadda nima hawan jinin da ka saka min dashi zan tafi kabari na. At least gwara kai, kai ka jawo wa kanka ciwon ni kuma bakin cikin ka ne ya saka min. Na riga na wuce wannan babin, na rufe wannan bad chapter din ta rayuwa ta, yanzu na bude sabuwa fil mai cike da farin ciki da albishir na tarin alkhairai, please Umar let me be. Save every the heart ache and face your life, kaje ka kula da matarka da abinda yake cikin ta Allah ya baku zaman lafiya ya kawo albarkar aure"

Naga alamar fuskarsa ta chanja, na juya zan tafi ya rike gefen hijab dina "what did you just said?" Na yi masa kallon sama da kasa nace "cikin ka na jikin Asabe nace kaje ka kula da shi. Menene abin mamaki a ciki?" 

Ya saki hijab din sannan ya gyara tsayuwarsa yana kallona "ita tace miki tana da ciki?" Nace "ni naga tana da ciki. Ko bata gaya maka ba? Ohh sorry na shiga maganar da ba tawa ba. Maybe ma ba cikin bane ba, maybe dan tana kara samun kulawar kane a matsayin ka na namiji shi yasa na ga ta kara cika. In ba cikin bane ba ma ina fatan Allah ya kawo cikin" 

Sannan na daga kafa da sauri na karasa gate ina jiyo muryoyin su Asad suna masa tambayoyin mai yasa ba zai kai ni gida ba kuma yaushe zamu koma gidan mu.

Ina fita na tari adaidaita na shiga muka tafi, sai da muka danyi nisa sannan na rufe fuska ta da hannu na na fara kuka a hankali.

*Umar*

Ya bi bayanta da kallo har ta fita daga gate din sannan ya dawo da dubansa kan yayansa da suke gabansa suna ta jera masa tambayoyin da ba fahimta ma yake yi ba. Ya sunkuya ya dauki Asad yayi kissing cheeks dinsa. "Sarkin surutu. Ka koyawa mamana magana ko?" Sai kuma yaran suka fara musun wanda yafi wani surutu a cikin su. Daga nan sai ya nufi dakin da yake matsayin nasa a gidan, dana already yace a kai masa kayansa can. 

"Muje in baku tsarabar ku" nan da nan suka manta da waccan maganar suka fara murna. Sai dai bai iya karasa wa dakin da Asad a hannunsa ba dole ya ajiye shi yana haki tare da dafe kirjinsa, sai kuma ya rike hannayen su suka tafi. 

A dakin ya dauko musu jakar da yayi musu tsaraba ya ajiye musu yace kowa ya dauki nasa shi kuma ya zauna yana kallon su suna ta rabo, wani lokacin kuma ayi fada, amma kuma a zahiri ba wai kallonsu yake yi ba hankalinsa yana wani gurin ne daban, yana tuna yadda rayuwarsa ta juya lokaci daya kamar yadda mai suyar waina take juya wainar ta a cikin tanda. Sannan ta cigaba da gasuwa kamar ana babbaka kan rago.

Cikin sauki ya rubuta takardar ya kuma bata cikin minutes ya fita daga falon amma abin da ya biyo baya is far from sauki. Ya tura mata message dan yana tsoron kar ta dauka ya sake ta ne saboda ya daina sonta ko wani abu irin haka, amma amsar data bashi a lokacin ta kara saka masa tsoron anya ita din bata daina son sa ba. 

"Ba so nake inyi proving cewa zan iya rabuwa da kai ba, so nake inyi proving zan iya rayuwa babu kai"

Sai yanzu bayan watanni hudu daya ganta sannan ya tabbatar she meant what she said. 

Ta chanja gabakidaya tayi kiba ta kara kyau har da wani glowing da fatarta take yi wanda shi dai tunda take gidan sa bai taba ganin tayi irinsa ba ko da kuwa tana da ciki ne. A cikin wata hudu kachal. Sannan da akwai wani atmosphere of confidence a tare da ita wanda da bai san tana da shi ba. Akwai kuma wani kwarjini da tayi masa na musamman. 

Ya tuna lokacin da tana gidansa babu irin mitar da Mama bata yi mata "kin ƙi kwantar da hankalin ki kiyi kiba. Sai fama kike kullum a kanjame kamar kazar mayu". Sai dai shi a lokacin ya jingina rashin kibar tata da cewa haka yanayin jikinta yake "jikinta ba mai kiba bane ba". But now he knows better. 

She said she is beyond caring and he understands. Ya tuna sanda take zama tayi kuka kamar ranta zai fita saboda shi. Ya tuna sanda tayi ta fama da hawan jini kamar zata mutu saboda shi. Ya tuna lokacin da ta kusa samun depression saboda shi. 

A lokacin ya sani ya san cewa she is depressed amma ko professional care ya ƙi nemar mata saboda son kan sa, saboda tsoron kar asirin halayyar sa ya tonu, yayi ta gaya wa kansa cewa she will fet better knowing too well cewa there are chances that she won't, there are even chances that zata iya rasa hankalin ta baki daya but he still chooses rufin asirin sa. And now she chooses her happiness. And no matter how much he tried ya san bata da laifi. 

But now he knows cewa yana wasa ne da wuta kuma yanzu ta kama jikinsa tana ci. Yasan waccan yarinyar da ta fita daga gate bayan ta gaya masa maganganu, da ita ce kadai zai iya rayuwa a matsayin mata da miji. Ita ce kadai matarsa or else zai mutu marar aure. 

"Ex-husband"

Ya tuno abinda ta kira shi da shi. Ex. Title din da shi ya rubutawa kansa ya saka hannu sannan ya buga stamp akai. Ta yadda zaiyi kuma ya cirewa kansa wannan title din a yanxu bai sani ba. Ta yadda zaiyi kuma rayuwa da wannan tittle din bai sani ba. 

Shi mijin Jidda ne. Shine abinda ya sani. Mijin Jidda ita kadai.

Wannan maganar ta tuna masa da maganar da Jiddan ta fada kafin ta fita, cewa Asabe tana da ciki. Ya mike zaune yana jin wani tunani yana zuwa masa. Jidda might be wrong duk da cewa ita maaikaciyar asibiti ce kuma ta haihu har sau biyu, but yana fata har cikin zuciyarsa cewa maganar Jiddan ta zama gaskiya. Yana fatan ya kasance ciki ne a jikin munafukar yarinyar nan. Tabbas in hakan ta kasance ya samu hanyar warware daya daga cikin matsalolin sa.

The last four months has been rough on him. Daga inda yayi packing ya aikawa da Jidda message bai iya fitowa daga motar ba sai fitowa da shi akayi, wani bawan Allah da yazo wucewa ya tarar dashi yana fisgar numfashi hannunsa dafe da kirjinsa da yake jin sa kamar ana hura balloon din  a cikinsa. 

Daga nan mutumin ya kai shi asibiti, wanda kafin su karasa ma yayi loosing conscious dinsa, wannan ya sa sai daya kwana biyu a asibitin kafin a gano yanuwansa saboda kasancewar wayarsa da password, sai da aka koma motar sa aka samo ID card dinsa a ciki. 

Duk da cewa a lokacin bai san inda kansa yake ba amma bayan dawowarsa hayyacinsa ya fahimci irin tashin hankalin da iyayensa suka shiga a sanadiyar rashin lafiyar sa, sai ya fahimci ashe dai suna sonsa har yanzu, ashe dai bai rasa su ba kamar yadda yake fadawa kansa. Ashe dai babu abinda da zaiyi da zai saka iyayensa su guje shi.

Su suka yi jinyar sa har ya farfado ranar da Jidda da yaransu zasu bar kasar, he expected sympathy daga gare ta, he expected tayi cancelling flight din ta taho tayi jinyarsa daga nan su mayar da auren su. Amma ko duriyarta bai kara ji ba. Wayoyinta basa shiga, and she is offline a dukkan social media accounts dinta, gashi bashi da number din kowa nasu a can, kuma bashi da guts din zuwa gurin Abba ya nemi layin da zai same su. Wannan ne ya sa ciwonsa yaki ci gaba yaki ci baya kullum jiya i yau, ko an sallamo shi daga asibiti baya kwana biyu zai sake komawa, tun yana kawaici da alkunya har ya fara fitowa yana tambayar yan'uwa su nemo masa Jidda da yaransa. 

He never thought she can go through months without hearing from him, musamman tunda ta san ba shi da lafiya. Sai ya fahimci tabbas Jiddan da ya sani a da da kuma Jiddan yanzu are two entirely different jiddas. 

Worsening din ciwonsa ya saka dole likitan da yake duba shi a Nigeria yayi referring dinsa to wani likitan a Dubai wanda ya kware a bangaren zuciya. Mama ta so tafiya tayi jinyarsa da kanta amma Baba ya hana ta yace shi zai je tare da shi. Shima kuma yafi son suje da Baban dan Mama har lokacin ba iya kallon cikin idonta yake yi ba duk da cewa ita din tana iyakacin kokarin ta a gurin jinyar ta sa.

Bayan sunje Dubai din ma kullum cikin waya yake Nigeria yana tambaya ko Jidda ta dawo? Har rokar yaya Mubaraka yayi ta je gidan su Jidda ta jiyo masa labarin su amma taki tace "ba dani za'a yi wannan abin kunyar ba". 

Then one day bayan ya fara samun sauki Mama ta kira shi tace Jidda ta dawo Nigeria har ta turo yara suyi musu kwana biyu. Ta kuma bashi yaran suka gaisa a waya and he felt sooo good. Sai dai kuma Jidda bata kira shi ba kamar yadda Mama tace masa zata kira, wannan yasa shi din ya gwada number dinta kuma ta shiga amma bata dauka ba, ya kira ta har sau biyar bata daga ba, ya tura mata da message cewa shine, dan yana zargin ko bata dauka bane saboda bata san number din ba amma shiru kamar an aiki bawa garin su. And he thought

"Jidda bata sona yanzu. Ta tsane ni"

And he thought 

"Maybe in ta ganni, maybe in ta saurare ni, maybe, zata tausaya min"

But now he is not sure about that either.........

Amma ya sani, gabakidaya abinda ya faru duk laifin sa ne kuma ya dauka. Yanzu abinda yake son sani shine ta yadda zai gyara laifin nasa. 

Ya dawo da hankalin sa kan yaransa da suke gwada kayan da ya siyo musu, duk da bashi da lafiya sai da yayi sparing time and energy ya yi wa yayansa tsaraba. 

But now at least yasan first step dinsa, zaiyi confirming akwai ciki a jikin asabe ko babu? Amsar ita zatayi leading dinsa unto the next step.

Washegari aka daura auren Mufida. Jidda bata zo ba sai ta turo mata da sakon taya murna da kuma ban hakurin cewa Abba ya hana ta fitowa. Da kuma alkawarin zata je gidan ta nan ba da dadewa ba. 

Da yamma aka kai Mufida gidan ta zuwa dare gidan ya watse sai wadanda suka zo daga nesa. Zuwa safiyar litinin kuwa sai yan gida kadai. A lokacin ne ya samu ya ga abinda yake son gani daga asaben da take ta binsa duk inda yayi a bisa shawarar kakarta. 

Bayan tabbatar da zargin Jiddan da yayi sai ya gaya wa yaya Mubaraka yace ta gaya wa Mama yana son a sake zama a sake maganar Asabe. Two days after that aka kuma kiran wani zaman irin wancan da akayi a watannin baya. 

Bayan an zauna ne Umar ya fadi zarginsa na cewa Asabe tana da ciki. Baba ya juya ga kakar Asabe yace "haka ne? Da gaske ne" ta daga kafada "gwara da Allah yasa ya gani da kansa kunga yanxu sai a gaggauta ta tare tun kafin cikin yafi haka girma kowa ma ya gani azo aji kunyar da ake gudun ji. Asirin da ake rufewa ya tonu"

Umar ya gyara zamansa sannan yace "alhamdulillah. Allah shine abin godiya, tunda har kun amsa cewa akwai cikin, dama nayi niyyar idan baku yarda da cikin ba sai in nemi alfarmar aje asibiti a gwada dan a tabbatar. Alhamdulillah na jima ina addu'ar Allah ya kawo min hanyar da zan warware wannan matsalar ba tare da na kara bata tsakani na da iyaye na ba. To Allah ya kawo min a saukake...."

Ta katse shi "me kake nufi da wannan dogon jawabin? Kana nufin ba cikin ka bane ba ko me kake nufi?" 

Ya gyada kansa "tabbas ba nawa bane ba. Amma idan kun matsa nawan ne ba zanyi dogon musu ba muje akan cewa nawan ne. Abu na farko idan har nawa ne to zai kai watanni shida zuwa sama, dan watanta shida rabonta da gidana. Cikin jikinta kuwa kasa yake da wata hudu. Idan baku yarda ba aje asibiti a gwada. Wannan kenan. Abu na gaba kuma idan ma cikina ne idan ma ba cikina bane ba kasancewarsa a jikinta ya nuna cewa babu aure a tsakanin mu, dan a musulunce ba'a yin aure da ciki. Auren da aka daura an daura a iska kenan" 

Mama ta karba "tabbas. In dai da cikin sanda aka daura to an daura a iska, babu aure. In kuma an samu cikin ne bayan an daura to hakan ya tabbatar ba nashi bane ba dan yana asibiti tunda akayi auren. Yanzu abu biyu ya kamata ayi, na farko a dauki yarinyar aje asibiti a gwada cikin ta a ga watansa nawa dan a tabbatar da kasancewar aure a tsakanin su ko a'a, sai kuma a jira ta haihu sai a dauki abinda ta haifa a gwada shi dan a tabbatar da cewa nasa ne ko ba nasa bane ba" 

Baba yace "idan an ga cikin ta same shi ne bayan daurin auren su, hakan yana nufin ba nasa bane ba. Kuma mu a matsayin mu na iyayensa mun cire masa takunkumin zama da ita dan hakan ya tabbatar da ba matar kirki bace ba, ba matar da za'a zauna zaman aure da ita ba ce ba, ba matar da za'a hada zuri'a da ita bace ba"

Umar ya sallami iyayensa sannan ya mike ya bar falon, murmushi kwance akan fuskar sa. Lallai duk wanda ya dogara ga Allah ya kuma mika lamuran sa ga Allah to tabbas Allah zai iya masa. Kamar yadda ya iya ws Jidda ya warware mata dukkan matsalolin ta. Kamar yadda shima yanzu da ya koma gare shi ya fara warware masa nasa matsalolin. 

Ya hau saman motarsa ya zauna sannan ya dauko wayarsa ya nemo number din Jidda ya tura mata sako.

"Thank you so much Hauwa'u. Thank you for letting me know about cikin jikin yarinyar can. You have no idea how much that has helped me. Love you."


Ga masu son siya zasu iya turo kudin su #300 zuwa wannan account din

0779484494
Nafisa Tafida Usman
Access Bank

Sai su turo evidence of payment zuwa wannan number din ta hanyar WhatsApp
08067081020

Wadanda basu da account kuma zasu turo MTN recharge card na 300 zuwa wannan number din 08067081020

Please banda kira, WhatsApp only


*Wannan littafin na siyarwa ne bisa amana idan baki siya ba kar ki karanta, idan kuma kin siya kar ki sharing, idan kika yi kinci amana kuma ke da Allah*

*The New Life*

**

Bayan fitar Umar daga falon ne aka cigaba da bincikar Asabe akan gaskiyar cikinta, inda ita kuma tayi bayani cewa akwai wani saurayin ta da tun tana talla tun kafin taje gidan Umar aikatau suke tare kuma yana yi mata juyen kayan tallan ta in ta dauko, wannan ne sanadiyyar lalacewar ta ba tare da sanin iyayenta ba, kuma shine dai yanzu bayan ta koma gida ya cigaba da bibiyarta inda ya kuma yin nasarar samunta kafin daurin aurenta ta Umar. Bata san da cikin ba sai bayan da suka zo gidan sannan kakarta ta lura da cikin ta kuma yi tunanin na Umar ne sannan ta barshi akan ya kara zamar musu hujjar da zai kara tabbatar da aure a tsakanin ta da Umar. 

Abinda basu sani ba shine ba'a hada ilimi da jahilci a guri daya, abinda suka manta shine da masu ilimi suke harkar ba da jahilai ba. Wannan ya tabbatar da cewa babu aure tsakanin Umar da Asabe, kuma cikin jikinta ba na sa bane ba. Sai dai Baba a kokarin sa na kyautata mata sai ya nemi da su koma kauye su taho da yaron da yayi mata cikin, shi yayi alƙawarin zai dauki nauyin yi musu aure kuma ya samu aiki a cikin aiyukan cikin gidan sa ya bashi indai ya amince da auren. Itama kuma in tana da bukata zata zauna a gidan ta ke taya matan gidan aiyukan gida bisa sharadin za'a saka ta a makaranta ta arabi da boko ta samu ilimi, dan sosai Baba ya fahimci matsalar rashin ilimi ita ce take dawainiya da ita. 

Wannan kenan....

Washegarin da abin ya faru Umar ya shirya ya tafi gidan sa, for the first time after months dan rabonsa da gidan tun ranar da ya saki Jidda. Mai gadin gidan yana nan har yanzu, dan Baba ne yake cigaba da biyan sa albashi saboda ya cigaba da tsare gidan duk da dai an kwashe kayan Jidda kaf daga gidan sai na Umar ne ya rage. 

Yaji dadin yadda maigadin yayi ta murnar ganinsa yana kara tambayar saukin jikinsa da kuma jajanta masa. Yayi masa godiya sannan ya dauko alkhairi yayi masa ya shiga gidan. 

Ya tsaya a bakin kofa yana karewa falon kallo da idonsa, images da yawa suna forming a cikin kansa, images na family dinsa, happy and so much in love with each other. 

Yana iya hango Asad akan kafafun mamansa tana yi masa lilo, Yasmin kuma a kwance a jikinsa tana yin game a wayarsa yayin da shi kuma yake zura hannu lokaci zuwa lokaci yana mintsinin Jidda ita kuma ta juyo ta harare shi tare da alkawarin ramawa. And sometimes in ta gaji zata taso ta rama din shi kuma sai yayi pretending innocent yadda yayan su zasu shigar masa. Ya iya pretending ita kuma bata iya ba. Wannan yasa komai yayi mata bata iya boye bacin ranta shi kuma ya cigaba da amfani da wannan damar gurin cigaba da cisguna mata.

Ya wuce falon yana jin gidan yayi masa zafi, ba wai zafi na gari ba a'a wani irin zafi ne da yake radiating daga cikin zuciyarsa zuwa sauran gangar jikin sa. Kofar dakin ta ta bude ya tsaya yana kallon empty space din, yana tuno lokutan da suke shirya yaransu a dakin in zasu tafi school ko kuma in zasu kwanta bacci. Most of the times tana yi musu wanka yana shafa musu mai ya saka musu kaya sannan su zauna tare su karanta musu bedtime story wanda yaran suke cewa sunfi son karatun ta akan nasa wai shi murnar sa katuwa ce, Asad har ya kan kwaikwaye shi. A cikin kansa yaji kamar muryar Asad din yana kwaikwayon sa, yayi murmushi shi kadai realising shi kadai ne a tsaye a cikin dark, empty, dusty room. Babu ko kayan su ma ballantana ya gani su dauke masa kewar su, babu ko gadon Jidda ballantana ya kwanta ya yaji kamshinta a kai. 

Ya juya da sauri ya bar dakin ya shiga nasa, ba tare da tunanin komai ba ya fara watso sauran kayansa da suka rage a gidan kan gado. Kamar yadda tayi ranar da zata bar gidan, ranar da ta gaya masa cewa ko akuya aka sakawa skirt aka shafawa jan baki in ya ganta sai ya bita, maganar da ta bata masa rai sosai amma kuma kamar da gaskiya a cikinta. Tunda har ya iya neman Asabe wacece ba zai nema ba kuma?

Sai daya gama fito da kayan sannan ya nemo jaka ya zuba su gabaki daya a ciki wadanda basu shiga ba kuma ya dauki wata babbar rigarsa ya daure a ciki ya kinkima ya fita dasu zuwa mota, sai kuma ya dawo ya cigaba da diban dukkan wani abun amfaninsa yana kaiwa mota including hotunan family dinsa da suke gidan, wanda ya lura Jidda ta kwashe wadanda take ita kadai ta bar wadanda suke tare da yara, shima ya san da ba zata iya cire kanta bane ba. 

Sai daya gama tas sannan ya tsaya a bakin kofar falon yana kare wa gidan kallo, remembering the good memories, and the bad memories, including memories din sanda yake kawo matan banza gidan, samda suke kawo matan banza shida abokinsa, shida Bashir, cikin gidansa, gidan da later ya ajiye iyalinsa. Shin ta yaya ma yayi tunanin zai samu albarka a cikin gidan?

Ya ja kofa ya rufe da sauri sannan ya shiga mota ya zauna ya dauko wayarsa yayi kira. Wani abokinsa ya kira wanda ya ke harkar gidaje. "Hello. Idris ya kake ya family?"
"Alhamdulillah, su Yasmin suna lafiya" 
"Dama gidana nake son siyarwa, shine nace bara inyi maka magana ku zo ku ganshi sai kuyi masa kudi ku nemi mai siya"
"Okay to shikenan na gode. Idan kunzo ku karbi key a gurin mai gadi"

Ya kashe wayar ya ajiye sannan yayi wa mota key ya bar gidan aguje, trying so hard not to look back.

A ranar da dare yaje ya samu Baba. Idonsa a kasa kamar yadda yake yi kullum yayi masa bayanin shawarar da ya yanke ta siyar da gidan sa, sai dai Baban ya nuna ko an siyar da gidan ba za'a bashi kudin ba.

"Ba zaka siyar da gidan ka ka kashewa mata kudin ba"

Umar ya dafe kansa, sai dai baiji haushin maganar Baban ba, ko menene ma za'a gaya masa tabbas ya san yayi deserving, kuma ya tabbatar it is going to be long kafin ya sake gaining trust din iyayensa, trust din Jidda.

Sai yace 

"Na amince in an siya din a tura kudin account din ka, in an samu wani gidan a wata unguwar daban sai a siya min, shi wannan gidan ne bana son cigaba da zama a cikin sa"

Sai Baba ya amince da wannan.

Sannan kuma Umar din yace "Baba dama maganar da muka yi da Baffa ce, maganar Lagos, shine nake so inji inda maganar ta tsaya" 

Baba yayi shiru yana kallon sa, a ransa yana tausaya yadda ɗan nasa ya koma, amma yana ganin rashin dacewar idea din tura shi Lagos ya zauna shi kadai a wannan lokacin, musamman saboda rashin lafiyar sa da kuma muguwar dabiar sa, amma kuma kamar yadda Halilu ya fada, a Saudiyya akwai lalatattu kuma a Lagos akwai shiryayyu, dan haka shiriya a zuciya take ba'a gurin zama ba. 

Sai dai kuma duk da haka yana so yayi compensating for rashin kawar da Umar din ya samu lokacin tashin sa, kamar yadda yayi playing role wajen lalacewar dansa yana so yayi playing role wajen shiryuwar sa. Sai yace "zaka tafi Lagos din kamar yadda mukayi magana. Amma ba kai kadai zaka tafi ba, tate zamu koma da ni da kai da mamanka. Zaka karbi ragamar kasuwanci na acan ka cigaba da juyawa, ni kuma zan ke supervising dinka ina ganin yadda kake yi ina gyara maka inda kayi kuskure, ba ina maganar kuskure akan harkar kasuwanci kadai ba, ina maganar kuskure akan muamala ta rayuwa" 

Umar ya gyada kai da sauri yana jin hawaye yana kawowa idonsa. Tabbas duk duniya babu wanda zai so Mutum kamar iyayensa, no matter what mutum ya zama, iyayensa will forever love him, ko da sunyi kuskure hakan baya nufin basa son ka, hakan yana nufin suma mutane ne and thay are not above mistake. Babban abu mai muhimmanci shine idan an fahimci inda aka yi kuskuren sai ayi kokarin gyarawa. Allah ya ganar da mu.

Sai dai abu ne a lokacin ya ke damun Umar, wannan abin shine family dinsa da yake kulafucin ganin sun dawo cikin rayuwarsa amma kuma wannan tafiyar da zaiyi zata kara nesanta shi da su ne, at least in suna guri daya zai iya cigaba da gwada sa'ar sa ko Allah zai sa ya dace, amma in suna nesa da shi ba shi da wannan damar, kuma ya tabbatar Jidda ba zata bashi dama ta waya ba. 

But after he thought about it sai yaga kamar Jidda tana bukatar space ne a yanzu, kamar in ta cigaba da ganin sa zai cigaba da fama mata ciwuwwukan da yaji mata a cikin zuciyarta, maybe tana bukatar healing, tana bukatar ciwuwwukan su warke yadda in ta ganshi she will no longer feel the pain. But there is also the risk of loosing her completely, there is a chance that she will fall completely out of love with him when she is healing, there is a chance that someone wilk come and replace him a zuciyarta when he is away. 

Wannan tunanin ya saka yaji ya fasa tafiyar ma gabakidaya, sai dai already ya riga yayi wa Baba maganar kuma ya san shi bai isa yanzu ya koma ya ce ya fasa ba. But can his already bleeding heart take it? Can he be thousands of miles away from Jidda with the thought that tana can tana soyayya da wani katon? 

Ya tuna sanda ta kira shi da gardi. Sai yayi murmushi. Maganganun da ta gaya masa a lokacin hurts him but yanzu da yayu bitar su a akan sa sai ya fahimci akwai pang of jealousy acikin maganganun nata, in dai kuwa akwai kishi to tabbas akwai soyayya. Kenan akwai chance........ tiny slim little slimy chance da zai iya kubce masa any time, but that chance is what he is going to hold on to.

Babu bata lokaci ya kammala shirye shiryen tafiyarsa, ta tattara takardun sa na likitanci ya boye a gurin ajjiya dan a yanzu he no longer wants to be doctor Umar again, ge wants to first fimd himself a matsayin Umarul Faruq kafin daga baya yayi deciding if he wants to be doctor Umar again. Ko da kuwa ya dawo occupation dinsa na aikin likitanci to tabbas zai chanja field, definitely not a gynaecologist.

Yes, if you want to get rid of wata mummunar dabiar ka, abu na farko shine ka guji duk wani abu da yake da dangantaka da ita. Shi yasa annabi ya bada shawarar migration. Kayi hijira daga inda kake zuwa wani guri daban musamman inda ba'a sanka ba, inda ba za kake haduwa da abubuwan da zasu ke tuna maka da waccan dabiar ta ka ba, in da ba zaka ke haduwa da abokai ko kawayen da kuke dabiar tare ba. Wannan shine abinda Umar yayi kokarin yi.......

Abu na biyu da yayi shine he changed his phone numbers, now for real. He delete all his social media accounts and open new ones with different names and makes them very private. Yadda matan banzan da suka saba da juna da kuma abokan banxan da yake da su ba zasu same shi ta nan ba, only family and few abokansa na gari wadanda yake son ya mayar da su manyan abokansa a yanzu dan ya samu su goga masa halayensu na gari.

Sai dai kuma duk kokarin kiran number din Jidda da yayi taki dauka, daga baya ma sai kiran ya zama baya shiga abinda ya tabbatar masa da cewa tayi blocking dinsa ne, sai da ya saka sabon layin nasa sannan ya kira ta ta dauka da sallamar ta cikin daddadar muryarta. Amma tana jin muryar sa ta fara da tambayar shi abinda yake bukata sannan ta kare ta kora masa warning din kar ya sake kiranta. 

"Stay away from my life!" 

Sannan ta katse kiran. Next daya gani shine text daga gare ta na wata number tace in zai magana da yayansa ga number din da zai kira. Daga nan daya sake kira yaji ta kuma blocking. Ya gwada waccan number din yaji ta shiga, kuma aka dauka, muryar Yasmin cikin murna tana gaya masa mommy ta siyo musu waya mai games da yawa da zasu ke yi saboda ta hana su daukar mata waya tace suna cinye mata charge, sannan kuma in tana office da wayar take kiransu, kuma tace shima da wayar zai ke kiran su suma kuma in suna son magana da shi zasu iya kiransa. 

"Daddy kayi saving number din mu. Ka rubuta Maryam da Muhammad" 

Asad shi kuma yace "Daddy Muhammad da Maryam zaka rubuta, sunana ne a farko"

Yasmin tace "sunana za'a saka a farko tunda nice babba"

Umar yayi murmushi yace "shikenan. Zanyi saving da parrots, sarakan surutu" duk sukayi dariya.

A day to tafiyar su ya shirya yaje gidan su Jidda, a zuciyarsa yana ta addu'ar Allah ya bashi ikon ganinta ko da kuwa unexpectedly ne, ko da ace ta dawo daga office ne su hadu a hanya, ko da ace ita bata ganshi ba. Sai dai baiyi wannan sa'ar ba ya tarar tana gida, ya riga kuma yasan ko me zaiyi ba zata fito ba. Ya kira wayar su Yasmin sai Amira ta daga tace masa suna islamiyya amma sun kusa dawowa. Sai ya kwantar da kujerar mota ya zauna yana kallon gidan tare da addu'a ko zata leko amma shiru ko inuwar ta bai gani ba har yaran suka taso, suna ganin shi suka taho a guje gurinsa da murna. 

Sai da yagan su da uniform da jaka da books sannan ya tuna duk watannin da sukayi basa tare bai taba yi musu aiken ko kwandaka ba kuma Jidda bata taɓa tambayarsa ko wani nasa wani abu ba, and they look fine, they misses him of cause amma baya jin suna da wani financial problem. Fes, fes da su, full of energy and laughter. 

Sai ya tura su gida su ajiye kayan hannun su sannan su gaya wa mommyn su zai fita da su. Basu jima ba suka dawo har uniform an cire musu an kuma saka musu kaya masu kyau. Sai ya dauke su a mota suka fita, yana ta tambayar su game da rayuwar su da makarantansu su kuma suna bashi labari, a haka har sai da suka nuna masa both bokon su da islamiyyar su ya gani sannan ya tafi dasu yawo ya kashe musu kudi duk da shima ba kudin ne dashi isassu a hannunsa ba amma ya siya musu kayan abinci da kayan tea da kuma tarkacen su biscuits da sweets da juice na zuwa makaranta. Ya so ya siya musu kayan sawa ma da takalman makaranta amma kudin ba zasu ishe shi ba dan haka bai siya ba amma yayi niyyar zai turo wa Jidda kudi ta siya musu, duk da yasan already ta siya musu.

Sai dare suka dawo, bayan ya kai su gida sunyi dinner tare sannan sunyi sallama da Mama da Baba wadanda suka basu kuɗi, yaji dadin hakan dan dama ya so ya basu kudin amma bashi da su. Sai ya hada kudin ya sakawa Yasmin a aljihun ta yace in sunje gida ta bawa mommy.

Da zasu rabu kuma sai yaji ba dadi, yaji zuciyarsa tana yi masa zafin rabuwa da su kuma yana jin tsoron kar wani abu ya same su, amma daya tuna Abban Jidda da irin dagewar sa a gurin tarbiyya, ya kuma tuna da ita ma Jidda irin kokarin ta sai yaji hankalin sa ya kwanta. Ya fahimci they will be safe there insha Allah.

Washegari jirgi ya daga dasu zuwa garin Lagos......

*Jidda*

Ta karanta text din daya tura mata, ta sake karantawa amma ta kasa fahimtar ma'anar sakon. Me yake nufi da gode mata dan ta gaya masa matarsa tana da ciki? Ko bakar magana yake neman gaya mata ne? Har da wani love you a karshe. Love who? 

"Love go kill you there"

Ta fada tare da jan tsaki. Ita yanxu kalmar love takaici take bata ma dan babu wani abu a cikinta sai kunan zuciya da hawaye masu daci. Ta ajiye wayar ta kwanta akan kujearat tare da karo volume din TV, anjima kadan ta kuma mikewa ta dauki wayar ta nemo number dinsa ta danna mata block. A ranta tana godewa wanda ya kirkiri idea din blocking dan ba karamin saving rayuwar ta yayi ba dan ta tabbatar Umar tunda ya dawo Nigeria ba zai barta ta kuma shakar iska mai dadi ba. 

Kwanaki kadan bayan nan tana guri aikin ta tana chatting da customers dinta a waya sai ga kira da number din da bata sani ba, babu bata lokaci ta dauka cikin fara'ar ta tana saka ran daya daga cikin customers din nata ne , amma sai taji muryar da bata bukatar a gaya mata ta waye dan ko cikin bacci taji ta zata gane ta, murya mai cike da karairayi da manipulations da pretence. Nan da nan farin cikin da take ciki ya katse, fara'ar ta ta kau. Tace "me kake bukata ne wai Umar? Akwai sauran wani abu naka a gurina da kake nema?"

Yace "eh. Forgiveness shi nake nema. Another chance nake bukata. A sympathy nake......" 

"Dakata!" Nace masa. "Na fada maka tun ranar nan cewa I have forgiven you. And I wish you well a rayuwar ka ta duniy da lahira. I just don't want to have anything more to do with you. Please please and please, ni ban taba jin dadin rayuwa irin wadda nake ji yanzu ba. Ni ban taba samun nutsuwa da kwanciyar hankali irin wanda na samu yanzu ba. Please don't try to bring back pain and agony into my peaceful life. Please, stay away from my life"

Daga nan na katse kiran tare da jan dogon tsakin daya janyo hankalin abokiyar aikina, raina duk ya baci duk nishadi na ya kauce. Na kashe data ta sannan na fara shirin tafiya gida tunda shift dina ya kusa karewa dan wadda zata karbe ni har tazo dama na dan jira ne yamma ta dan kara yi saboda zafin rana.

Daga nan ban karasa gida ba sai da na biya na siyo waya irin ta yara amma wadda ake sakawa simcard, sannan kuma na sayi sim card din. Ina zuwa gida na saka ta a charge sannan nayi wa Umar text da number din sabon sim card din na sanar masa da cewa yake neman yayansa ta nan. Nasan legal excuse din da yake da shi na kirana shine yayansa, yanzu kuwa babu kare babu bin dami.

Ina gama tura masa text din na sake blocking number din daya kirani da ita sannan na bi duk social media accounts dina nayi blocking dinsa, sai kuma na chanja passwords din komai nawa dan nasan halinsa tsaf zai iya shiga ta ciki yayi min magana ko kuma ya saka ido akan abinda nake yi a can.

Sai da na gama sannan naji hankali na ya kwanta, na bawa yara wayarsu suka yi ta murna amma sai na nuna musu cewa na siya musu waya ne dan su daina daukan tawa suna karar min da charge, ba jimawa ya kira su suka yi ta hira ina jin su and I moved on with my life har zuwa wasu kwanaki sai gashi ya kira wayar su wai yazo yana waje, Amira da ta dauki wayar bayan naki dauka ta gayamasa suna islamiyya, bayan sun dawo ne ya fita dasu sai can dare suka dawo da lodin kaya da kuma kudi suka gaya min wai yace yana gaishe ni kuma zaiyi tafiya zuwa Lagos shi da Baba da Mama. Banji sun ambaci Asabe ba, A lokacin na tuno da maganar Baffa Halilu na cewa yaje ya karbi business din Baba to keep him busy. 

Na girgiza kaina  "hmmm. Umar a Lagos ba tare da mata ba, Allah kadai ya san barnar da zaiyi. Allah ya kyauta" 

And I felt relieved da ya kasance am no longer his wife, duk abinda zaiyi ma will no longer affect me, ni dai kawai kula da yayana da tarbiyyar su ce a gaba na.

Kwanaki kadan bayan nan Mama Sa'a tazo gidan, ta leko dakina muka gaisa lokacin na dawo daga office ina cire uniform dina, sai ta tafi dakin Hajiya, daga baya kuma sai gata ta dawo ta tarar ina duba designs na wasu furnitures sai ta zauna akan katifa a kusa dani tayi shiru, and I know magana ce ta kawo ta sai na rufe system din gabana na juyo ina kallon ta. 

Sai ta kama hannuna a cikin nata tace "Jidda nazo ne in kara baki hakuri akan abinda ya faru. Wallahi wallahi Jiddah babu hannuna a cikin maganar nan, Hajiya ce da Mammy suka shirya kayansu sai da Abba ya kira ni ma sannan na san da maganar" 

Na zare hannuna daga cikin nata ina cewa "babu komai fa. Ni na yafe tuni" and I meant it har cikin zuciya ta. T

Ta gyada kai. "Nagode. Ke kam gashi nan rayuwa tana tafiyar miki lafiya lau tunda baki da hakkin kowa. Ni kuma duk da bansan hakkin wa na dauka ba rayuwar taki yi min dadi Jidda. Har yau ban gama shan bakin cikin miji ba dana kishiyoyi sannan kuma gashi ina kan shan na ƴa"

Na sake mayar da hannu na cikin nata cikin kulawa nace "ban gane ba?" Tace "Mammy ta lalace Jidda, tafi karfina, yanzu har ta kai matsay da takan iya barin gida taje wani wajen ta kwana. Uban yayi dukan gar ya gaji, yanxu yace ya barwa duniya ita wai in duniya ta koya mata darasi zata shiryu" 

Naji babu dadi a raina. Na girgiza kaina da sauri ina tuno da abinda ya faru da rayuwar Zuwaira da yadda ta koma a karshe. 

Nace "uhm uhm kar kuyi haka dan Allah. Mammy amana ce da Allah ya danka muku kuma in baku kula da ita ba tabbas sai Allah ya tambaye ku a kanta"

Tace "to ya zanyi Jidda? Babu yadda zanyi ne" na sake girgiza kai na "there is always a way, kar mutum yace babu yadda zaiyi, tabbas to every problem there is a solution. Na farko zaki iya yi mata addu'a, ki dage babu dare babu rana. Na biyu zaki iya sakawa a taya ki yi mata addu'a, kiyi ta istigfari dan maganin masifa ce, kiyi ta sadaka dan waraka ce. Abu na uku ina baki shawarar ki kawo ta gidan nan ki durkusa kiyi wa abbay kuka ki gaya masa halin da ake ciki, shima jininsa ce tabbas ba zai so ta tabe ba. Kuma kinsan halin tsaurin Abba, in tana gidan nan ba zai sassauta mata ba, damu family gabakidaya zamu yi iyakacin kokarin mu a kanta. Hannunka baya taba rubewa ka yanke ka yar inji hausawa. Shima kuma baban nata kar ki barshi, ki cigaba dayi masa maganar ta, da tuna masa nauyin ta da yake kansa, kafin Allah ya sa ta samu miji ayi mata aure"

Ta gyada kai cikin amincewa. "Nagode sosai Jidda. Insha Allah I will not give up. Sai inda karfina ya kare" nace "good"

Babu bata lokaci Mammy ta dawo gidan mu a karkashin kulawar Abba da yake kula da duk motsinta with iron fist. Sai dai kuma, duk da nace na yafe amma kullum na ganta....kullum tayi min magana.....sai na tuna....

And then time moves...........

Shekara daya ta wuce sannan ta biyu ma ta wuce........

A cikin shekaru biyun nan abubuwa da yawa sun faru a rayuwata. Abu na farko daya faru shine irin cigaban da na samu a harkar kasuwanci na. Sosai Allah ya saka min albarka a ciki tare da taimakon Abba karami wanda yayi dedicating rayuwarsa toward the success of the business har yayi out growing dakin da muka karba, a lokacin ne muka yi shawarar fitar da business din bakin titi mu kama hayar babban guri sannan kuma mu fara yin new furnitures da kan mu, tunda dama duk dan kano yasan unguwar gandu akan harkar furnitures, tun daga farkon titin mu har karshen sa furnitures ake siyarwa, wannan ya saka kusan dukkan samarin gidan mu sunsan one or two things akan carpentry including Abbah. 

Babu bata lokaci muka karbi gurin, muka gyara shi tas muka tare. Sai muka muka dauki maaikata kwararru masu experience da zasu ke aiki a karkashin Abbah da yake a matsayin manager. Na chanja wa business din suna daga "used....to be reused" zuwa "Jidda's Signature" still muna siyan fairly used second hand din muna siyarwa sannan kuma a hankali muna introducing newly made items din wadanda muke captioning a social media accounts din mu as "made by Jidda. With love"

Kuma suma sun samu shiga alhamdulillah, saboda ina matuƙar kokarin ganin nayi research na samo designs masu kyau na kamfani sai mu kwaikwaya kuma sai yayi kyau sosai ga kuma kwari. A hankali sai naga hankalin mutane yafi karkata ga sababbin sai dai wadanda ba zasu iya affording ba. Bayan watanni akan hakan sai kuma na fara dauko kayan kitchen ina siyarwa a gida, suma suna shiga sosai musamman a gurin maaikata wadanda na kan bawa bashi su biya ni in anyi albashi. A yanxu haka zan iya cewa albarkar da nake samu a kasuwanci na tafi wadda nake samu a aiki na dan in aka ce min in zaba zan zabi kasuwancin ne duk da dai shima aikin ina son sa. Lol

Abu na biyu mai muhimmanci da ya faru shine bikin Farhan da akayi few months into the two years, mun sha bikin ta da Sadiq din ta, munsha iyayi da soyayya, at last after the long wait ta hadu da soul mate din ta sai dai muyi musu fatan alkhairi. 

And months after that akayi bikin Amira da Aira a lokaci daya, bayan kin yarda da auren hadin da Amira tayi a karshe an aura mata Souraj din ta, wannan ya sa ita kuma Aira da har yanzu take fama da takaicin rabuwa da masoyin ta Musaddiq ta ce zata share wa iyayen mu hawaye zata auri daya daga cikin suitors din, imday a karshe suka daidaita da Djimon. Sai aka hada bikin akayi a tare aka daura aure anan Nigeria sannan muka kai amare Addis Ababa inda anan mazajen nasu suke da zama. 

Abu na uku da ya faru wanda kuma ya kasance na bakin ciki sabanin abubuwan da suka gabace shi shine rashin lafiyar da Aunty Afia ta kama yi gab da bikin su Amira. Zazzaɓi take ta fama da shi da wani mugun tari da yaki tafiya, gashi ta kanyi complain na ciwon ciki da kuma yawan ziyara da take kai wa toilet. A haka dai aka lallaba aka gama bikin, ko zuwa kai amare ma bata samu damar yi ba anan muka barta Daddy ya turo likitansa ya duba ta ya bata magunguna. Sai dai bayan mun dawo din ma bamu tara da cigaba ba a yanayin jikin nata, wannan yasa a lokacin na roki Abba ya bar ni naje na zauna jinyarta. A yayin jinyar tata ne na lura da cewa bata iya cin abinci sosai saboda tana complain cewa da kyar take iya hadiye abincin in ta saka a bakin ta ga kuma lost of appetite. Sai nayi checking bakin nata and I saw rashes a kan harshen ta. Tun daga lokacin gaba na yake faduwa da lamarin ta, and I decided to observe more.  Cos something doesn't feel right, ina kuma having wani gut feeling marar dadi akan maganar. Ina suspecting wani abu.

Rana daya sai na dauki wayarta na shiga facebook din ta na nemo account din Zuzu, and I realized kamar ba'a using account din yanzu. I searched for gery friend wadda lokacin da Umar ya dake ta tayi posting cewa bata da lafiya, i sent her a message cewa ina neman Zuzu din ne because I am her friend. And her reply shocked me. Cewa Zuzu ta rasu few months ago. 

A ranar na samu aunty in roke ta akan ina son in tafi da ita asibiti inyi running some tests akan rashin lafiyar ta, amma sai daddyn su Aira yaki yarda yace ai already likita yana duba ta kuma yana bata maganin duk da ya dace. Ni kuma na duba magungunan nata naga ana treating symptoms ne kawai ba tare da ansan menene tushen ciwon nata ba. Na matsa mata tazo muje and she refuses. Sai na taho da kayan aikina dauki blood sample dinta na tafi dashi asibiti na kai lab nayi requesting for test din ciwon da nake suspecting. Sai da zan taho na koma lab na karbi result na gama addu'a sannan na bude. And it was positive.

A ranar naga tashin hankali. Na rasa ta yadda zanyi breaking wannan mugun labarin ga Aunty. Aunty Afia has been a good wife duk tsahon rayuwar ta, and it is true that she never lacks anything a gidan ta dan tun kafin inyi aure ita ce role model dina ita nake fatan in samu irin rayuwar ta, and now I know better. 

Now I understand cewa *ba kowacce matar auren da muke ganin cewa tayi dacen miji a zahiri ce tayi dacen ba, wani auren a zahiri ne yake success, a badini kuwa is a woman's worst nightmare.*

I went to her room, tana zaune tana ta faman tari ta hada uban gumi, na tsaya ina kallon ta ina lura da yadda ta rame ta lalace kamar ba ita ba, duk wannan kyawun ya yamushe sai ƙashi sai fata. Na zauna a kusa da ita sannan na bude hannunta na saka mata takardar. 

Ina kallon ta ta bude ta karanta. Sai takardar ta zame daga hannunta ta fadi kasa. And I started crying tun kafin ita ta fara. I am not a very good comforter ni na sani dan in mutum yana cikin damuwa ma ni sai na fishi zubar hawaye. Zai ta same ta sauka gaban gadon ta zauna a kasa sannan ta fara rera nata kukan wanda jinsa kadai ya isa ya huda zuciyar mai saurare. Na sauko nima na rungume ta muka cigaba da yi tare. Sai da muka yi muka koshi sannan tace "yayi min alkawarin ya daina fa" na share mata hawayen ta da damkwali na nace "most of them never stop".

Bayan doguwar rigima wadda har sai da Abba ya shiga, bayan kuma dogon bincike ne aka gano cewa ashe ya riga yasan yana da cutar kuma already yana shan magani abinsa, bai gaya mata ba ita ballantana ta sha maganin ita, sannan kuma ya hana ta zuwa asibiti ballantana asan tana da shi a bata magani. Sai ya bar ta a gida, maybe plan dinsa shine ta mutu a gida, shikenan asirin sa ya rufu. How cruel.........

(Wannan labarin ya faru a gaske. Nayi using dinsa dan nuna how bad it can be)

Cikin yardar Allah da dagewar mu yanuwanta da yayanta, muka kaita asibiti aka bata dukkan kulawa sannan aka dora ta akan magani. I expect her daga asibiti ta taho gidan mu ko ta tabi Ethiopia but sai tace in mayar da ita gidan ta. A can muka samu daddyn Aira  babu kunya babu tsoron Allah yana cigaba da rayuwarsa and She demanded ya sake ta, kuma ya tattara kayansa ya bar mata gidan ita da yayanta in kuwa ba haka ba she will go to media and expose duk abinda yayi including kokarin kashe ta da yayi. Babu kunya babu tsoron Allah kuwa sai ya zabi ya bar mata gidan. A lokacin sai na fahimci wani abu, cewa yawancin su mazinatan nan sunfi tsoron tonon silili akan tsoron Allah.

Wannan kenan......

Abu na gaba daya faru a shekaru biyun nan shine yadda manema suka feso min ta kowacce kusurwa. Family members, including Salem din Aunty Nuru wanda dagabaya na fahimci saboda ni yaki zurfafa neman sa akan Amira, work colleagues, wadanda suka hada da likitoci har ma da patients, yan unguwa wadanda suka san aurena ya mutu, customers da suke siyan kaya a guri na da kuma wadanda muke haduwa a hanya.

Ga masu son siya zasu iya turo kudin su #300 zuwa wannan account din

0779484494
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Access Bank

Sai su turo evidence of payment zuwa wannan number din ta hanyar WhatsApp
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Wadanda basu da account kuma zasu turo MTN recharge card na 300 zuwa wannan number din 08067081020

Please banda kira, WhatsApp only

*Wannan littafin na siyarwa ne bisa amana, idan baki siya ba kar ki karanta, idan kuma kin siya kar ki sharing, in kika yi kinci amana kuma ke da Allah*

*The Empty Heart*


To those in Jidda's position, idan har Allah ya saka kin zo wannan junction din a rayuwa, kin zo wannan stage din da Jidda take ciki, shawara ta a gare ki ita ce kiyi addu'a, ki nemi Allah ya zaba miki abinda yafi alkhairi a gare ki. Ko tsohon mijin ki ya dawo ko bai dawo ba, ko kina da manema da yawa ko baki dasu, kiyi addu'a ki nemi zabin Allah.

In kika yi addu'a then follow your heart dan shi ubangiji zai karkatar da zuciyarki ne zuwa ga abinda shi ya zabar miki.

My dear, kar ki bi ta mutane, don't allow society to force you back to your former husband, to the life you worked so hard to be free from, zasu ce 

"gwara ki koma gidan tsohon mijinki uban yayanki" 

"da sabon gini gwara yabe" 

"the devil you know is better than the angel you don't know"

"Mazan yanzu duk halin su daya. Duk haka suke"

And some will even say the extreme

"Without a husband you are nothing"

All of which to me are all rubbish.

Only go back to him idan kinji zuciyarki ta karkata to going back to him bayan kin yi addu'a. Kar ki ce zaki koma wai dan saboda yayanki ko dan saboda society expect you to ko dan saboda tsoron rashin sanin wanda zaki aura next. There are very good men a duniya, duk karya ce zancen wai maza gabaki daya halinsu daya, duk karya ce created by those who wants us to accept yan iskan maza the way they are. Indai kin barwa Allah zabi kuma baki da hakkin kowa a kanki there is a very good chance that zaki samu mijin da yafi wanda kika rabu da shi ta kowacce fuska. 

You owe no one your life, you owe no one your happiness, your life is yours alone and you live it the way you want.

Kamar yadda nace karshen littafin nan is mostly fiction, duk da da akwai traces na abubuwan da suke faruwa da gaske a ciki, but zancen shiryuwar Umar is a fiction, in reality 80% na wadanda suka yi nisa a zina basa dainawa, they just learn to hide it kamar yadda baban Aira yayi, har sai asirin su ya tonu a karshe. Mostly in sun daina to shekaru ne suka ja abarsu ta daina aiki, ko kuma wata cuta suka samu wadda zata saka dole su daina. Amma haka nan salin alin basa dainawa musamman tunda in reality ayoyin Allah basa fitowa kirikiri kamar yadda suka fito wa Umar a fictional part of this story.

Don't crucify me yet, lol, ba cewa nayi mazinata basa shiryuwa ba, but hardly, dan wannan yana daga dalilin da yasa na daina rubuta section din readers section da na fara yi kwanan baya, most of the stories are so heart wrenching that I decided to stop writing them, and so far a duk wadanda na samu, none of them ne ya daina. 

So this is a food for thought to you my dear.

*****************************

Bayan da Aunty Afia ta dan samu sauki ne na dawo gida bayan an samo mata wata matashiyar mata da zata zauna tare da ita tana mata yan aiyuka tana kuma debe mata kewa, duk da cewa akwai Aiman a gidan a tare da ita wanda yake karatun masters dinsa ne yanzun kuma shima yana iyakacin kokarin sa wajen ganin ya kwantar mata da hankali, da shi da Aira duk da cewa bata kasar amma itama tana iyakacin kokarin ta.

Sai dai jikin na Aunty sai dai hamdala, duk da tana kokarin shan maganinta amma ciwon ya riga ya cita sosai kafin a san da shi. Abu na biyu kuma ta saka damuwa sosai a cikin zuciyarta akan abinda ya faru da ita, ga kuma rashin abinyi wanda shine yake kara bata lokacin tunani da bacin rai dan dama ita tun farko auren nan kawai shine abinda take yi, bata aiki bata sana'a bata da komai na ta na kanta sai abinda mijinta yayi providing and since he has been providing enough bata taba tunanin yin wani abu ba.

As for me, I moved on with my life, and the more I see the way things are the more I appreciate the decision I took. Kullum cikin godewa Allah nake da kuma cigaba da kokarin yi masa biyayya ta hanyar mika lamura na gare shi tare da gudun duk wani abu da zai saka in kauce hanyarsa. 

But zan iya cewa ma bani da lokacin zama inyi wani tunanin ma da har zai saka ni a hanyar lalacewa, I kept myself as busy as busy can be, duk ma su yi kim magana ta waya ko ta zahiri cewa suna so na ko something like that bani da lokacin zama ma inyi tunani akansu ballantana har in basu wata dama, sai da yawa zance zanyi tunani amma ina kwanciya ko minti daya bana yi naje yin bacci abina saboda gajiya da kuma rashin damuwa. 

Har mamaku nake in na tuno lokacin da nake kasa bacci a gidan Umar saboda damuwa da bacin rai, bana ma tunanin cewa I am capable of that kind of life a yanzu. Na wuce gurin insha Allah. 

Sam bana barin abinda zai dame ni. Ko customer ce naga kin fiya matsala kina neman ki saka min tension yanzu zan fasa business din da ke inyi referring dinki to business partners dina. 

Yayana ma have adapt to their new life, karatun su ne a gabansu in sun dawo lesson teacher din dana daukar musu zata zo har cikin gida ta koya musu homework da sauran basic abubuwa, karfe takwas na dare kullum suke waya da babansu ko dai shi ya kira su ko kuma ni in kira musu shi. Daga nan zanyi musu wanka in shirya su wanda a lokacin ne muke samu muyi hira cikin kulawa da nuna soyayya zan tambaye su labarin abinda suka yi through out the day, in sun fada min in gyara musu abinda suka yi ba dai dai ba, in naji abinda suke bukata kuma inyi kokarin providing for them. 

Tun Umar yana cewa su bani wayar in suna waya har ya hakura ya daina fada dan ko sau daya ban taba karba ba. Ya kan turo musu kuɗi duk wata, ya kan kuma zo ya gansu lokaci zuwa lokaci sometimes ma ya tafi dasu gidan su suyi weekend. A irin wadannan zuwan ne mukan hadu wata rana idan nayi rashin sa'a yazo lokacin na dawo daga office ko wata unguwa, sai dai ko mun hadu din babu wani abu danake bari yake shiga tsakanin mu in banda gaisuwa duk da cewa yana kokarin wuce gaisuwar a lokuta da dama. 

Wannan yasa na fahimci shi har yanzu yana so ne in koma gidan sa, abinda ni kuma sam baya gaba na kenan, ba Umar ba duk wani namiji baya gaba na and I don't think I can love again, in ma zanyi ba nan kusa ba. 

A wata rana ne lokacin few months ne ya rage inyi shekara uku rabona da gidan Umar, na dawo daga duba gurin aiki kenan an sauke ni a bakin layin mu ina ta sauri bana so mu haɗu da Abba a hanya ya fara min dogayen tambayoyi duk da ya san daga inda nake, ina cikin tafiyar ne nazo wucewa daga kofar gidan su Musa, a dai dai lokacin da shi kuma yake fitowa daga gidan hannunsa rike da wata yarinya around 4years. 

Yayi min murmushi "ranki ya dade" nayi kokarin mayar masa da murmushi nima "ina wuni?" Ya karaso inda nake "lafiya lau malamar asibiti. Ya aikin?" Nace "alhamdulillah" na fara tafiya sai ya jera da ni muna tafiya tare. Nayi kokarin kawar da shiru din tsakanin mu nace "ashe kana gari kenan, kayi wuyar gani" yace "ni kuwa kinga kusan kullum ina ganin ki, ko kin tafi yiwa mutane allura ko kuma in kin dawo" 

Na danyi dariyar yadda yayi maganar sannan nace "daga ganin yadda kayi maganar nan na gane tsoron allura ne da kai" yace "haba dai tsoron allura sai kace mace, ai mata ne ragwaye" na dakata ina kallon sa nace "matan? Kaf ma'aikatan asibiti sun san ragwantar maza, da kuma jarumtar mata, namiji ko ciwon kai yake sai ra rakwarkwabe kamar yaro, I bet da maxa ne suke haihuwa da tuni maaikatan asibiti sun zama kurame saboda ihu" 

Yayi dariya sosai. "Dama ku mata gorin ku kenan, haihuwa dai haihuwa dai, to munji mun yarda, dama ba zamu iya ba shi yasa Allah bai dora mana ba dan Allah baya taba dorawa bawa abinda ba zai iya ba" nace " better, gwara da ka yarda"

A lokacin muka karaso kofar gidan mu, a lokacin ne kuma na lura da wanda yake tsaye a cikin railer idonsa a kan mu. Na dakata a bakin railer din trying to pretend kamar ban ganshi ba, na durkusa kadan nayi wa yarinyar da take rike a hannun Musa wasa, sannan na dago ina kallon sa nace "kar dai kace min......." Yace "ƴata ce, baki sani ba saboda baki da zumunci" nace "Masha Allah. Kyakykyawa da ita tubarkallah. And she looks a lot like you. Kayi wa mamanta wayo" 

Yayi blushing "really? Well thank you, zan gaya wa Maman nata kuwa. Ko kuma in kin bani number din ki sai in kira ki ki gaya mata da kanki" na yi dariya duk da ba maganar dariya ba ce ba sannan nace "me zai hana in baka number ta kuwa? And feel free to call me anytime dan in wanke kaina a gurin ka, tunda kace bani da zumunci" ya dauko wayarsa da sauri sai kuma na dan dafe kaina nace "sai dai kuma gashi ban rike number ta ba kuma phone dina ta mutu. Sai dai ka bani taka number din in rubuta" 

Ya tsaya yana min kallon tuhuma nayi murmushi "I promise zan kira, mai zai hana ni in kira?" Sai na dauko biro a jaka ta sannan intentionally na fito da hannuna wanda ya sha jan lallen da na tabbatar Umar yana balain so, na jujjuya hannun a gaba na kamar mai neman wani abu duk da nasan maxan biyu duk hannun nawa suke kallo sannan na fara rubuta number din ta sa a tafin hannuna, sai da ya gama fadar number din sannan yace "kunshin ki yayi kyau sosai" nayi masa murmushi "thank you" sannan na sake shafa kan yarinyar na wuce cikin gida ba tare da na kalli inda na tabbatar Umar yana tsaye a gurin ba.

Sai dana shiga sannan na tarar Umma tana shirya su Yasmin "baban su ne yazo wai zai kaisu su ga baby, ban san dai waye ya haihu ba" na tabe baki "zai wuce matarsa" sai kuma na tuna banji sun ce min yace musu an haifa musu kani ba, wancan cikin kuwa na tabbatar an jima da haihuwar sa, maybe bai zo da rai bane ko something, maybe na biyu ne wannan" 

Bayan sun tafi nayi wanka nayi sallah naci abinci sannan na kwanta a falon Umma ina replying to messages a WhatsApp dina. A lokacin ne naga wani sako wanda na bude da zuciya daya ina saka ran new customer ne sai naga an rubuta

"Ba wai tsayawar da kika yi da wannan gajeren mutumin ne matsalata ba, ba kuma fake murmushin da kika yi masa bane ba, matsala ta itace kayan jikin ki, da kuma irin kallon da yake yi miki"

"And be careful of who you show your lalle to, as that thing can have impact on men" 

Na juya ido na, duk da ban san number din ba nasan daga gurin wa sakon ya shigo. And he is online.

Na shiga options ina neman option din block sai naga yana typing, na fito dan ganin wacce bakar maganar kuma zai gaya min sai naga ya rubuta 

"If you block me again zan tabbatar da zargina, cewa you still love me, shi yasa kike tsoron yi min magana cos you don't trust your own heart" 

Nayi shiru ina kallon sakon nasa, na sani trap ya hada min dan kar in yi blocking dinsa ya samu damar cigaba da shigowa rayuwata, but wani barin na zuciyata wants to prove to him and to myself cewa soyayya tsakanina dashi is a thing of the past.

Sai na fasa blocking din, instead sai nayi muting dinsa nayi pinning number dinsa down, yadda zai ke ganina online, zai ke turo min messages amma ba zan ke ganin su ba ma saboda suna can kasan chats dina ballantana har in bashi amsa, I think that will hurt him more than being blocked.

Sai dai maganar da ya fada na kayan jikina ta tsaya min a raina, dan ni dai nasan uniform ne a jikina sai kuma na dora kimono a kansa na kuma nannada medium veil a kaina, kuma nasan ina yin irin wannan shigar tun ina gidansa kuma bai taba complain ba sai yanzu? 

Wai washegari da na shirya zan fita sannan na lura da banbancin, banbancin shine yadda jikina yake a gidan Umar ba haka yake a yanzu ba. Sai na dauki mayafin da yafi na jiya girma.

A ranar da dare ya dawo dasu Yasmin, sai suka fada min ashe auntyn su Muhibbat ce ta haihu, sannan suka ce wai Daddyn su yace ni matsoraciya ce bana karanta messages dina. Sai nayi murmushi kawai, he wants to bring trouble back to my life and I will not let him.

Some days after that, na shirya na tafi gidan Diyam zan gano sabon babyn da ta haifa months ago a UK. Yanzu ta kammala karatun da take and will soon start practicing law a Nigeria kamar yadda ta jima tana buri. Rabona da ita tun last year da tazo bikin sister dinta Asma'u sai dai kusan kullum muna tare a waya. Naje gidan tana ta yi min mitar mai yasa ba taho da su Asad ba, tana son surutun Asad kullum muka yi waya sai ta ce in bashi in dai yana kusa. Na dauki twins dinta Aabid da Aabida wadanda yanzu suke shekaru kusan hudu. Tayi sauri ta karbi Aabida "wadannan gardawan kike dauka? Lallai zaki yi kwanan asibiti yau" nayi dariya na sauke Aabid tare da mika masa ledar dana sako musu packs din gullisuwar da suka bani sako tun suna uk. 

Sai kuma na dauki babyn da yake kwance cikin shimfidar sa ina tasbihi ga Ubangijin da yake halitta.

"Diyam. Wannan kyakykyawan yaron ki bani shi mana" ta yi dariya tana bude wa twins ledojin da suka dauko. "Na baki. Bara in hado miki kayansa. Amma ki shirya kuka dan kamar gyare haka yake" na harare ta ina shaka cheek din babyn ina jin kamar in hadiye shi "ba wani nan, kawai dan kar ki bani shi ne. Wannan cute cute babyn ba zaiyi rigima ba" 

Ta bude ido tana kallona "baki yarda ba? Bara babansa ya sauko sai ya baki labarin yadda muka kwana jiya muna karba karban jijjiga shi. Ni ina jin ma sai naje hospital an duba kunne na" ta fada tana saka karamin yatsanta a cikin kunnen ta. 

Nayi dariya "sharri kayan kwalba" sai muka cigaba da hirar babies da hirar haihuwa, wanda hakan ya saka the mother part of me yaji yana son haihuwa. Na shafa ciki na absentmindedly sai kuma na tambayi kaina "when?"

Sai nayi saurin chanja topic din tare da fara maganar dawowarsu Nigeria and what's next. Tayi min bayanin dukkan plans dinta including business din data ke son farawa na turare. Tun daga kan turaren wuta zuwa humra zuwa freshener zuwa body sprays da sauran danginsu. Shago take so ta bude anan Kano, already har ta samu location mai kyau sai gini za'a fara. A ciki za'a yi ɓangare bangare na komai. Ta kuma yi magana da different designer companies da za take siya daga gare su. Turaren wuta kuma da danginsa step mother in law dinta ce zata ke supplying dinta da shi daga Maiduguri da Chad. 

Wannan maganar da muka yi da ita ta saka na fahimci cewa ba wai lallai mata marasa miji irina da kuma wadanda mijin su baya kula da bukatun su ne suka da bukatar business ba, kowacce mace tana bukatar a personal source of income.

And then she asked me 

"Ke kuma fa Jidda? Wannan kyau da kike kara yi kullum kina kara fresh ko dai munyi sabon kamu ne? Kin san love yana adding beauty to the face"

Nayi murmushi "ke ma dai da tsokana, wa yake zancen love be wai yanzu? Kalma mai daci mai zafi" ta gyara zamanta tace "kalma kuma mai zaki mai sanyi at the same time ba? Shi soyayya in kayi dace yafi komai zaki, in bakayi dace ba yafi komai daci, ita soyayya kamar zuma ce ga zaki kuma ga harbi" 

Nayi ajjiyar zuciya nace "ni kam ni zan bada wannan shaidar ai, na sha harbi. Sai dai kuma yanzu na saka armor din da dafinta ba zai taba hudawa ba" 

Tayi dariya "wa yaga sir lancelot" muka sake dariya tare sai kuma tace "seriously you need to loosen up a bit. Ki dan cire wannan armor din naki I am sure yadda kike dinnan wani ko yau kika ce ya fito sai ya siyar da gidan su na gado ya fito" 

Nace "wa ye zai ce a fito? A fito a yi me? Ni fa maza da kike gani kallon biri suke yi min ina yi musu kallon ayaba. Abinda ya dame ni a yanzu shine to get stronger, yadda ko nan gaba nayi deciding auren I won't get treated like trash kamar baya, ni fa in zanyi auren ma zanyi ne kawai dan nasan hakan zai faranta ran iyaye na and dan ina son in samu ladan aure amma ba wai dan zuciya ta zata so haka ba" 

Diyam ta girgiza kai tace "I think you are still hurting. Dan baki yi dacen aure a baya ba doesn't mean ba zaki dace a gaba ba, dan kin auri wanda ya cutar da zuciyar ki doesn't mean wani ma zaiyi irin haka nan gaba. If you trust Allah and ask him for the best he will surely provide you with the best. Am not saying kiyi aure yanzu tunda na fahimci you are not ready, ki zama ready first kafin kiyi, don't rush into choosing, don't let anyone rush you. You owe no one your happiness not your parents, not your ex husband, not your children, and definitely not the society"

"Yes in kin yiwa iyayenki biyayya zaki samu lada amma in kika ga abinda zaki yi musu biyayya akai zai zamanto cutarwa gare ki sai kiyi musu bayani yadda zasu fahimta. Yayanki kuma can never be happy in ke kina cikin kunci, society kuwa su zasu fara dora tukunyar shinkafa a ranar da kika mutu, daga nan kuma su koma kan wata"

"But still, no matter how strong you have become you still need a man's strong sholder to rest on, kamar yadda shima namiji no matter how strong yake still yana bukatar a soft and gentle touch of a lady, muna bukatar su kamar yadda suma suke bukatar mu"

Na ture maganar ta gefe na shigar da maganar da bayan ganin baby ita ce ta kawo ni gidan, maganar motar da nake son siya. Sai ta ce min dama yanzu zasu fita da maigidan ta, in jira sai mu fita tare muje Abatcha motors in ga motocin da suke available ko da wadda za ta yi min a ciki. 

Ta hau sama zata shirya ni kuma na zauna ina cin samosas din data kawo min ina duba waya ta amma a raina maganganun ta nake juyawa a raina. I can't even imagine me falling in love again, ni love din tsoronsa nake ji, maybe in naga ina son auren ko kuma in su Abba sun matsa zan iya cewa kawai su zabar min da kansu. That way sai Allah ya dubi biyayya ta ya saka in dace da wanda zai zama sanyin idaniya ta, and maybe, watakila, watarana, I may even be able to love him.  

Babu jimawa muka fita tare a motar Sadauki mijin Diyam, bayan na karbi kayan da na bata sako ta taho min da su daga UK. su biyu a gaba ni kuma ina baya, sun bar yaran duk a gurin Nanny din su tunda ba dadewa zasuyi ba. 

Munje na ga the famous Abatcha Motors, proudly Sadauki da Diyam suka zagaya dani suna nunamin gurin tare da nuna min tarin motocin da suke gurin, Sadauki yana ta zuga ni wai sai na sayi mai tsada ni kuma naki nace ni daidai aljihuna zan siya kawai ina neman motar da zata ke kaini duk inda nake son zuwa, wanda baya wuce within Kano state. Shikenan.

Da kyar ya barni na zabi wata peugeot wadda tayi dai dai da aljihuna. Muka gama ciniki Diyam tana ta yi mana dariya wai ina jin kunyarsa naki neman ragi, shi kuma sai ya rage min kawai da kansa ya zabtare min kudade masu yawa har sai da naji kunya nace zan fasa siya gaskiya. Diyam kuma ta bata rai dole na hakura. 

Daga nan muka dauki hanyar gidan mu, su zasu kaini a mota sai an rubuta receipt an yi clearing motar sannan za'a kawo min ita har gida.

Zuciyata tas nake jinta ina jin dadin siyan motar da nayi, duk da kasancewar ba wannan ce mota ta ta farko a duniya ba amma nafi jin dadin ta saboda wannan ni na siya da kudin da na tara da gumi na. Na biye musu muka yi ta nishadi a motar har muka je kofar gidan mu muka yi packing sannan nayi musu sallama na fita. Sai bayan da na fita sannan na tuna da sako na a booth din motar sai nayi musu knocking na tuna musu. Nufi na su bude min in dauka but sadaukin Diyam is too much of a gentleman for that, sai gashi ya fito da kansa ya dauko min. 

A lokacin ne Umar ya shigo layin, ni na dauka ma ya koma Lagos tun sanda ya dawo da yara ashe yana nan. Yayi packing dan nesa damu kadan yana kallon mu. Sadauki ya fito da yar ƙaramar jakar ya miko min, na dan durkusa kadan na karba sannan nayi masa godiya bai amsa ba sai ya juya yana kallon gidan mu yace "amma try and get somewhere safe da zaki ke packing motar ki saboda security" na gyada kai nace "akwai wani gida anan bayan mu inda Abba yake ajiye motarsa lokacin da yana da ita, can zan ke kaita" yace "good. Gobe za'a kawo miki ita insha Allah" na sake yi masa godiya sai yayi dariyar sada take kara fito da kyawunsada kwarjinin sa yace "wai ke ba kya gajiya da godiya ne sai kace wata yar fulani da nasani a shekarun baya?" Ya fada cikin daga murya dai dai yadda Diyam zata jiyo, muka juya muna kallon ta ta kofar daya bari a bude sai ta harare shi ta kuma yi masa alamar zata kamashi. 

Nayi dariya "ni kam babu ruwana kar a kama da ni gwara in shiga gida" sai ya shiga motar yana mata magana amma banji mai yace ba naga dai tayi kamar zata rankwashe shi sai ya kauce yana dariya, nima ina da murmushin sha'awar da suke bani, lallai da gaske soyayya akwai dadi idan kayi dace. 

Na leka ta tagar shi da take a bude na sake yi mata sallama sannan na matsa ya tayar da motar sukayi gaba ina daga musu hannu. 

Ni shaf na manta ma da motar da naga tayi packing a bayan mu sai da naji an zo da sauri kamar kububuwa an sha gaba na a dai dai kofar shiga gidan mu.

"Uban waye wancan din?"

Na dago kai cikin mamaki ina kallon Umar din da gabakidaya ya rikice kamannin sa sun chanja, idon nan yayi ja kamar in an watsa turaren wuta zaiyi kamshi. 

Lokaci daya na gane abinda ya faru. Umar bai ga Diyam ba saboda tinted glasses din motar. Ya dauka Sadauki gurina yazo. Ya dauka hira da dariyar da muke yi zance muke yi. And I decided to rub more salt to his wound.

Na hade girarsama da ta kasa nace "ba uban kowa bane ba, kuma babu wani obligations a kaina na cewar sai na gaya maka ko waye, but tunda har ka wahalar da kanka ka tambaya zan baka amsa. Saurayi nane. Zance yazo gurina muka fita shopping. Sai menene?" 

Ya fincike jakar hannuna yayi jifa da ita ya nuna ni da dam yatsa "na ga alamar kina so ki kashe ni ne da raina Jidda. And I will not let you. Tun wuri ki kore shi ki gaya masa kar ya kara ya kara zuwa gidan ku dan wallahi rayuka zasu baci, tell him that gidan mijinki zaki koma......" 

Na bude baki "waye mijin nawa? Last time I checked bani da aure kuma bansan sanda aka daura min ba. Ina ka da damar da zan tsaya da duk wanda na ga dama. Kuma saboda me zance masa kar ya sake zuwa gurina bayan ina son sa? Bayan yanzu muka gama maganar zai turo neman aure na? Bayan yanzu fitar da mukayi har da akwatin kayan lefe muka siya?" 

Ya jingina da jikin bango, daga alama neman faduwa yake yi, na dauki jakar da ya yar na rakube ta gefensa da niyyar shigewa ciki sai ya rike hannuna, and I felt the heat coming from his skin da tayi ja kamar yadda idonsa yayi.

"Kina gaya min Jidda......kina son sa....aurensa zaki yi?" Na fisge hannuna daga cikin nasa "why not? Ba ka ganshi bane ba? Ko ba ka lura da yadda ya hadu ba? Ko baka lura da irin kulawar da yake nuna min ba? Jiya ma fa ya sauka a kasar nan daga Canada inda acan ne zamu zauna bayan bikin mu kawai dan ya ganni duk da cewa kullum muna tare da shi a video call, but yana so ya ganni physically shi yasa yazo purposely saboda ni. To me yasa zan ki son sa? Me zai hana ni auren sa?"

Na juya sai kuma na sake juyowa na nuna shi da yatsa "and don't ever try to touch me again, kar ka sa mijinaya gani ransa ya baci. In ka kuma kuwa zanyi maka ihun gardi"


Bai ce komai ba har na shiga cikin gida ina murmushin mugunta. Yau wani zai kwana yana juyi. Duk da dai ban san yadda zan kare kaina ba kuma in ya ga ba'ayi auren ba.

Ina shiga kuwa na tarar da Abba. Na durkusa na gaishe shi as usual ya tambaye ni daga ina nake nayi masa bayani tunda dama nayi masa maganar motar da nake son siya kuma ya amince, dama yace baya son yawon da nake yi a motar haya kullum. 

Sai kuma ya kama yi min fada "to ba kin fara da siyan mota ba, kar hakan ya sa ki cigaba da sakin jiki a gida, dan ni ba jin dadin ganin ki nake yi a gaba na ba dan dai kaddara ta gifta ne, ki fito da miji na gaya miki so nake kafin Allah ya dauki raina ya zamanto babu yata da take gida" 

Na gyada kai "insha Allah Abba" har ya juya sai kuma ya sake juyowa "dan nace ki fitar da miji fa ba wai ina nufin ki kula kowanne shashasha ba." Na danyi murmushi na sake gyada kai "na gane Abba".

Washegari monday, evening nake dashi dan haka tun safe dana raka yara school a kafa ina kwance ina dan taba business kuma ina hutawa, sai kusan azahar sannan na tashi na dan taya Umma muka karasa abinci sannan naci na shirya zan fita. Luckily sai ga mota ta an kawo min, bayan su Umma sun fito sun gama gani sun gama saka min albarka sai na fita da ita zuwa office ina ta jin dadi a raina har da kunna kida inaji. 

Dama lokacin a asibitin nasarawa nake, na shiga nayi packing na fito ina sauri dan na kusa makara sai ganin mutum nayi a gaba na. 

"Hajiya Jidda manyan mata" na juya na kalli mai maganar saboda jin muryar da nayi kamar na santa 

"Bashir?" 

Na fadi sunan sa cikin mamaki. 

Ya dan bude hannu. "Doctor Bashir. Dama ranar nan na ga wata kamar ki sai na saka aka bincika min aka ce min ke ce, ashe kina nan yanzu" 

Na cigaba da tafiya tare da jan dan karamin tsaki. Ya biyo bayana "kina kallon kanki a madubi kuwa? Lallai abokina ba karamar asara yayi ba ina taya shi jaje, sai dai ina taya kaina murna" na dan juyo cikin mamaki ina kallon sa cike da tsana "murna? Menene gain dinka a ciki da zaka yi murna?" Yace "well, I have not gain anything yet, but I intend to in dai zaki bani hadin kai. Allah da gaske nake auren ki zanyi in dai kin yarda. Kinga zaki samu damar kona masa rai in kika auri babban abokinsa, ni kuma nayi gaining by getting kyakykyawar mata kamar ki, ke kuma kinga kinyi gaining saboda kin auri wanda yafi tsohon mijinki komai kuma an rufa miki asiri an dauke ki daga yawo a kwararo kullum....." 

Na daga masa hannu ina jin cewa ba zan iya cigaba da sauraron muryarsa ba nace "save your breath, maybe zaiyi maka amfani later, and this is the first and last warning da zan baka, kar ka sake gangancin yi min magana" nayi masa kallon sama da kasa nace "ni kuma na san kafi Umar komai marar kyau, amma ko tafin kafarsa baka kamo a masu kyau ba" 

Na wuce da sauri sai ya kamo hijab dina "don't walk out on me bayan ban gama magana da ke ba" na juya da sauri na kwace hijab dina da niyyar wanke fuskarsa da mari ko da kuwa hakan zaiyi sanadin aikina amm sai ganin Umar nayi out of nowhere ya sauke nasa hannun a inda nayi niyyar saukewa. 

Ban tsaya sauraron me suke cewa ba nayi sauri na bar gurin dan bana son wata rigima ta tashi a saka sunana a ciki, can ta matse musu, sunfi kusa.

Sai dai kuma sai na samu kaina da mamakin me ya kawo Umar gurin. Was he following me? Has he been spying on me?

Ina shiga na tarar wadda zata tashi tana ta jira na, na bata hakuri na karbi aikin tayi min bayanin komai sannan ta tafi ni kuma na zauna ina yin cike cike sai kawai ji nayi an banko kofar office din an shigo, Umar ne ya tsaya a gaba na yana haki, gabakidayan sa a hargitse yake na lura tun kayan da na ganshi da su jiya ne a jikin sa. 

Kafin yace komai na daga murya da karfi "security!" Ya sunkuyo dai dai fuskata.

"I am warning you. Idan na sake ganin ki da mutumin nan, da Bashir din nan, wallahi sai na kashe shi, sai dai in na kashe shi nima a kashe ni, and I bet that is going to touch your stone cold heart dan ko bakya jin komai a kaina dole kina ji akan yayanki" 

Na kankance ido a kansa "are you threatening me?" Ya mike straight "yes, I am threatening you with my life, if that means something to you"

A lokacin securities din dana kira suka shigo, bai jira sun karaso ba ya juya ya fita tare da bugo kofa da karfi.

Ga masu son siya zasu iya turo kudin su #300 zuwa wannan account din

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Please banda kira, WhatsApp only


*Wannan littafin na siyarwa ne bisa amana idan baki siya ba kar ki karanta idan ykuma kin siya kar ki sharing in kika yi kin ci amana kuma ke da Allah*

*The End*

*Alhamdulillah, komai yayi farko yana da karshe. The journey of six months have come to an end*

🎶you are a good soldier, choosing your battles, pick yourself up and dust yourself off and back in the saddle🎶

🎶You are on the front line, everything is watching, you know it is serious we are getting closer, this isn't over🎶

🎶The pressure is on, feel it, but you got it all believe it. When you fall get up ehh ehh, when you fall get up ohh ohh. Tsamina mina sam karewa, cos this is africa🎶

~ Rihanna

Sai da ya fita sannan nabi kofar da tsaki. Wai threat, wai zai kashe Bashir, to in ya kashe Bashir ni menene nawa a ciki? In ma saboda yayan da suke tsakanin mune zan iya sauke su away from all his scandals.

Ya manta sanda nace zan yiwa Bashir wanka da tafasasshen ruwa saboda tsanar da nayi masa? Ya manta da sanda nayi ta masa kuka akan ya rabu da Bashir din sai yanzu kuma zai zo yana wani kumfar baki da wasu empty threats cewa zai kashe Bashir. To sai me kuma? It will be a good riddance in ya kashe shi din ma shi kuma aka kamashi, at least al'ummar annabi sun samu sauki daga masifar da take cin su.

Ban kuma bi ta kan maganar ba har na tashi daga aiki a gajiye na tafi gida. Sai dai ban jima da dora hakarkari na akan katifa ba bayan na samu da kyar yara sunyi bacci sai Umma ta leko wai inje inji Abba. Tun da naji wannan kira da dare na san ba lafiya ba, sai dai kuma jikina yana bani ba zai wuce maganar aure ba amma kuma menene emergency a ciki da ba za'a bar maganar sai da safe ba?

Na tashi na saka dogon hijab akan kayan baccin jikina na hau saman na tarar da Abba a zaune a varandar yana jin radio da Umma a zaune a gefensa. Na zauna acan nesa na gaishe shi, sai yayi shiru kamar ba zaiyi magana ba sannan yace 

"baban yaranki ne ya aiko min da sako a waya"

Gabana ya fadi na dago kai ina kallon sa. Baban yara na Umar kenan ko? Sakon menene ya aiko wa da Abba?

Kamar amsar tambayata sai Abba ya miko min wayarsa yace "shiga cikin sakonni ki dubo sai ki karanto a fili inji" na fara lalube a cikin wayar hannu na har rawa yake yi, ina budewa na gane number din da Umar yake min magana da ita a whatsapp, na bude messege din na karanto a fili.

"Assalamu alaikum. Abba barka da yamma tare da fatan alkhairi a gare mu baki daya. Abba na san ana iyakacin kokari akan iyali, ina kuma fatan Allah ya cigaba da jagora, sai dai a duk lokacin da ba'a kusa wani abu zai iya faruwa ba tare da an sani ba. Ina neman alfarmar a saka ido akan Jidda, tana shiga motar maza suna fita unguwa mara amfani, sannan kuma tana kula mutanen da bana kirki ba. Ina neman afuwa idan na shiga hurumin da ba nawa ba"

Wani bakin ciki da ya tsaya min a makogwarona shi ya sa na kasa magana, Umma ce ta fara rafka salati tana tafa hannu "karya yake yi Alhaji. Wannan yaro akwai makaryaci"

Abba ya daga mata hannu yana kallo na sannan yace "ina jin ki, zaki iya bayanin wadannan maganganun nasa?"

Na gyada kai da sauri sannan cikin nutsuwa nayi musu bayanin kawo ni gida da Diyam da mijinta suka yi min da kuma ganin mu da Umar yayi da Sadauki da abinda ya dauka. Sai kuma labarin babban abokin sa da yayi min magana dazu da yadda shi kuma yayi reacting har zuwa threats din sa.

Abba yace "to shi Umar din me yake yi a gurin? Tare kuka je da shi?" Na girgiza kaina da sauri "ban sani ba Abba. Maybe wani abun ne ya kai shi gurin maybe kuma tare suke tunda abokinsa ne" 

Abba yayi shiru yana kallon gefe sannan yace "zanje gidan su gurin mahaifinsa inji dalilin da zai saka dan shi bashi da hali sai yake daukan kowa ma kamar irinsa ne. Zan nemi su ja masa kunne ya daina shiga lamuran ki idan kuma yaki ji sai mu dauki matakin hukuma akan sa. Shi kuma wancan abokin nasa kar ki sake tsayawa da shi idan kuma ya takura miki shima tabbas bai fi karfin hukuma ba"

Na yi murmushi ina jin dadin yardar da iyaye na suka yi da ni tare kuma da yiwa kaina alkawarin ba zan taba basu kunya ba. 

Har nayi kokarin mikewa sai ya kuma dawo dani tare da kara yi min magana akan in yi kokarin fitar da miji inyi aure na in huta da irin wadannan abubuwan. 

"Kishi ne ya ke yi. In ya ga kinyi aure dole ya hakura ya kara tabbatar wa cewa ba zaki koma masa ba" 

Nayi godiya sannan kuma har zan tashi sai naga wannan dama ta ce ta gabatar musu da kudiri na sai na kuma zama sannan nace.

"Abba dama a game da maganar, maganar da kayi yanzu. Na yanke shawarar zan bar muku zabi saboda ni bani da zabi kuma nasan ba zakuyi min zabin banza ba" 

Duk suka yi shiru suna kallona, watakila mamaki suke yi dan a zamanin yanzu budurwa ma ba kowacce ce take yarda a zabar mata miji ba ballantana wadda ta taba aure. Yace "ba wai na takura miki ne nace yanzu yanzu ba, kina da lokaci, kawai ina so ki fara badu dama ne har ki samu wanda hankalin ki zai kwanta da shi" 

Umma ta ga damar ta ta shigar da maganar Salem. "Ga Salem nan Alhaji, yana nan yana ta fama akanta amma har yanzu taki ta bashi wata cikakkiyar amsa" 

Abba bai bata amsa ba sai ya sallame ni first na basu guri, ban san me suka cigaba da tattaunawa ba. 

Sai bayan da na koma na kwanta sai bacin ran abinda Umar yayi min ya dawo min, wannan ai sharri ne kuma ya san sharri yayi min kuma sai Allah ya saka min. Gwara ma Sadauki ni nayi masa karyar saurayi na ne amma shi kansa ya san ko mazan duniya sun kare ba zan kula Bashir ba saboda tsanar da nayi masa. 

Sai kuma nayi tunani akan maganganun da mukayi da Abba da kuma fahimtar junan da aka samu a tsakanin mu, na kuma fahimci hakan ya faru ne saboda yanayin da yayi min maganar cikin nutsuwa ba wai da tsawa ko fada ba, da ace da fada ya dauko min maganar da in na rikice ma ba zan iya yi masa bayanin daya kamata ba. 

A lokacin sai nayi wa kaina alkawarin ba zanke yaya na tsawa da unnecessary fada ba, ko sunyi wani laifi zan zaunar da su ne cikin kwantar da murya in tambaye su dalilin da yasa suka yi abinda suka yi, a haka ne zasu fada min gaskiya kuma in fahimci ta inda zan bi in gyara lamuran su, amma in da fada ne da hayaniya zasu ji tsoro za kuma suyi min karya dan su kare laifin su kar in hukunta su, meaning ba zan taba gane gaskiyar aibunsu ba ballantana in gyara.

Kwana biyu bayan nan su Diyam suka yi tafiya zuwa Maiduguri, naga ta saka hotunan su a airport ita da Sadauki da kuma wadanda suka dauka da yaran su. Kawai sai sharrin da Umar yayi min ya dawo raina sai wani tunani yazo kaina, nayi murmushin mugunta, sai na samu hoton da Diyam ta dauka da Sadauki a cikin jirgi, sunyi kyau sosai sosai. 

Sai nayi cropping hoton na cire Sadauki shi kadai sannan na koma na nemo number din da Umar yake min magana da ita nayi saving da "stalker" sannan na koma kan status dina na chanza setting din wadanda zasu ga status dina nayi blocking kowa except number din Umar sannan nayi posting hoton Sadauki na saka. 

"My Heartbeat. Thanks for the visit. Allah ya kai min kai gida lafiya. I will surely miss you" 

Banfi minti biyu da posting ba naga yayi viewing, dama kuma shi kadai ne zai gani tunda nayi blocking kowa. Nayi murmushi. Now he will have a taste of kaso daya cikin goma na what I tasted sanda ina aurensa.

Ban kuma tunawa da maganar ba ma sai bayan magrib da Abba ya shigo gidan kuma ya kira ni yace in zo samansa yana nemana. 

Na hau saman ina sauraren bugun zuciya ta, kar dai ace har Abba ya yanke hukuncin da nace na bashi? Na dauka zai dauki dogon lokaci shi yasa na bashi zabin a tunani na kafin ya gama zaba zuciyata ta shirya.

Na shiga falon sa na zauna a kasa daga gefensa. Sai dai na jima a gurin ba tare da yayi magana ba, sai sauke ajjiyar zuciya yake kamar wani abu yana damunsa sannan yace "naje gidan su Doctor Umar kamar yadda nace zan je, na samu ma baya jin dadi sosai. Ashe ciwon zuciya yake fama da ita?" 

Na dago kai ina kallon sa bance komai ba sai yace "ko dama kin sani?" Na gyada kaina "eh na sani. Kawarnan tawa kanwarsa ta taba fada min sanda aka fita dashi waje akan ciwon" ya girgiza kansa "Allah ya bashi lafiya" nace "ameen" sai ya kuma yin shiru. Jimawa kadan yace "banji dadin yadda na tarar da iyayensa ba. Suna cikin wani hali na tsananin nadamar sakacin su akan tarbiyyar sa, dan suna ganin nadamar rayuwar sa ta baya ce ta saka masa wannan ciwon da suke tunanin shine zai zama ajalinsa" 

Sai kawai naji hawaye ya zubo daga idona, ban san ma lokacin da suka taru ba sai zubar su naji. Iyayen Umar, musamman Baba, mutanen kirki ne, Mama ma mutuniyar kirki ce matsalar ta kawai makauniyar soyayyar da take yi wa yayanta. Na tuna da farkon aurena da Umar babu irin gatan da basu nuna min ba, har mamakin kirkin su nake yi ina alfahari da cewa nayi dace da surukai na gari.

And Umar........

Sai Abba ya riga zuciyata fadar waye Umar "Doctor Umar mutumin kirki ne........"

Sai kuma yayi shiru. 

"Umar mutumin kirki ne" na maimaita a raina....

Sai Abba yace "tashi ki tafi" na mike na tafi amma sai na kasa karasa sauka daga benen na zauna a kan stairs na dora kaina akan guiwar ta na fara dabi'a ta ta kuka. 

"Umar mutumin kirki ne......kuma ya soni irin son da nake tunanin babu irinsa idan ba a littafi ba, ya kula da ni irin kulawar da mata da yawa suke zuwa gurin bokaye su siyar da soul din su dan su samu daga gurin mazajen su. And then he has hurt me beyond imagination....."

"Umar ne dalilin da yasa nake abinda nake a yanzu, Umar made me who I am today, da bazar sa nake rawa. Idan ba dan Umar ba da ba lallai ne in samu karatun da nake takama da shi a yanzu ba, kyautatawar sa gare ni itace foundation na kasuwanci na wanda nake ji da shi a yanzu. Umar has been good to my parents and to my siblings, dan bayan ni Umar shi ya samowa Amira makaranta kuma har sai da muka rabu da shi sannan ya daina biya mata kudin makaranta. Umar yana yiwa kowa rashin kunya har matar ubansa amma baya iya daga ido ya kalli Umma, ballantana har ta fadi magana ya mayar ko kuma ya fadi wata magana marar dadi a kanta"

"Umar is a very significant part of me, part of my life. Kyautatawar sa da kulawar sa gare ni ita ta saka na zama literate and independent. Cutarwar sa gare ni ita ta saka na zama strong a cikin zuciyata. Sannan kuma, the last and the most important thing, Umar shine uban yayana"

Na mike tare da goge fuskata da hijab din jikina sannan na karasa sauka zuwa dakina. Na dauko magani na na sha saboda yadda nake jin jiri da yadda kaina yaje sarawa na san ciwo na zai iya tashi anytime, ciwon da bakin cikin Umar ya saka min. Ciwon da sai dai in tafi kabari na da shi. Amma kuma already Allah ya riga ya saka min shima ya saka masa ciwon da sai dai ya tafi nasa kabarin da shi.

Tunanin kabari ya saka naji hankali na ya kuma tashi, na tuna da maganar da Abba yayi na cewa Baba yace yana tunanin ciwon Umar shine ajalinsa. But is it that worst? Na ganshi fa kwana biyun nan and he seems fine duk da dai har yanzu bai mayar da jikinsa ba. Shin ciwon nan ya tashi ne sanadiyyar abinda na gaya masa? Sanadiyyar hoton dana tura masa?

Nayi sauri na kawar da maganar daga zuciyata sannan na jawo waya ta trying to keep myself busy dan in cire maganar daga raina amma sai na kasa, ina ji. Guilt feeling ya shiga zuciyata kamar abinda nayi ban kyauta ba. 

Yes Umar yayi min abubuwan da suka fi wanda nayi nesa ba kusa ba amma ya kamata ace na manta da maganar na tuno da alkhairin sa, na kuma saka a raina duk wadannan abubuwan are now over, am no longer with him. Duk da ba zan koma auren sa ba amma ya kamata ace babu bakar magana a tsakanin mu sai alkhairi tare da fatan alkhairi, ko dan albarkacin yayan mu.

Sai na lalubo number din Mufida a wayata na kira. 

"Hello mufy, ya kike?" Sai naji muryar ta wani iri tace "Jidda ya gida?" Nace "lfy kuwa? Ko ba kya jin dadi ne?" Tace "lafiya ta kalau. Ciwon yaya Umar ne ya tashi tun jiya, ina gida ma yanzu, gashi nan zama a tafi da shi asibiti" 

Na runtse idona bance komai ba sai ta sake cewa "zaki zo ki duba shi? Dan Allah Jidda ki zo ki duba shi" na bude ido na nace "zan zo in duba shi. Ki ce ina yi masa sannu da jiki, ina kuma fatan Allah ya bashi lafiya"

Sai na kashe wayar na ajiye. 

And that night for the first time after years, na kwana ina juyi ba tare da nayi wani baccin kirki ba, in ma nayi to mafarkai ne a ciki, wani mafarkin na mune da Umar da yara a gida muna ta raha, wani lokacin kuma in ganmu mu kadai cikin dare yana koya min karatun makarantar mu, sai kuma in ganshi a kwance akan gadon asibiti looking at me and taking his last breathe. 

There is definitely soyayya tsakanin Umar da rashin bacci na. Duk rashin baccina yana da dangantaka da shi

Haka na hakura da baccin na tashi na kama sallah, sai na samu kaina da yiwa Umar addu'ar samun waraka da kuma addu'ar samun shiriya da gafarar ubangiji. 

Washegari na tashi da ciwon kai, hakan ya saka na kira gurin aikina na samar musu ba zan samu zuwa ba. Da kyar na samu nayi breakfast a dakin Umma na kwanta akan kujerar ta, a haka Abba ya sauko ya tarar da ni kwance dafe da kai, sai kuma ya ce "yanzu baban yaron can ya kira ni wai ashe an kai shi asibiti tun jiyan bayan na baro gidan. Yanzu ma zuwa zanyi in duba shi" nace "to Baba. Bara in kirawo yaya Abbah sai ya kai ka a mota" ya fita waje ni kuma na fara kiran wayar Abbah sai Umma tace "wanne yaro yake nufi ne wai? Ba dai Umar ba ko?" Sai da na karasa magana a wayar sannan nace mata "eh Umar ne. Bashi da lafiya" 

Tace "ba dai kokari ake a mayar da auren ku ba ko? Na ga babanku yana ta wani rawar kafa har da zuwa dubiya. To ni dai ban yarda ba, na riga na yi masa maganar Salem kuma na ga ya fara amincewa da maganar. So yake ya mayarda ke kema a cuce ki kamar yadda aka cuci Afia? Gaskiya ba zan yarda ba. Ba za'a yi min biyu ba fa. Da wanne zanji?" 

Ni dai bance mata komai ba tunda ni bana jin akwai zancen komawar aure a tsakani na da Umar, kawai ita take maganar ta, amma kuma sai nayi mamakin duniya wai Umma ce take fadar wadannan maganganu? Lallai duniya makaranta.

Ina nan kwance har yara suka taso daga makaranta da yake Friday ce, sannan kuma sai ga Farhan ita ma tazo tirtsi tirtsi da tsohon ciki wai tazo zan rakata kasuwa siyayyar haihuwa. Zuwan ta ne ma ya saka na dan ware muna hira har muka ci abinci tare da ita da yara sannan sai ga Abba nan ya dawo. Ya sake lekowa falon Umma yana amsa gaisuwar Farhan sai kuma ya ce min "idan yamma tayi ki shirya da yara kuje ku duba shi" nace "to" ya fita. Farhan ta juyo tana kallona "waye za'a duba?" Umma tace "taya ni tambaya, nima neman amsa nake yi. Ita da ubanta ne suke kulle kullen su" 

Sai da muka je dakina sannan na bawa Farhan labarin ciwon Umar, sai tace zata rakani mu dubo shi daga nan sai muje kasuwar. Sai da mukayi sallar la'asar sannan muka shirya yara muma muka shirya muka tafi a mota ta, Farhan tana ta yaba motar. A hanya na kira Mufida tayi min kwatancen asibitin da kuma dakin da yake.

Mama muka samu a kofar dakin a zaune, daga ganin idanuwan ta taci kuka ta gode Allah. Tana ganin mu ta mike da sauri tana jujjuya hannunta. Su Yasmin da basu san me ake ciki ba suka tafi da gudu suka rungume ta sannan Asad ya fara jera mata tambayoyin me take yi a asibiti 

"Baki da lafiya ne Mama? Me yake damunki? Allura za'a yi miki? Mommy ta iya allura ki je gurinta tayi miki"

Sai muka rissina muma gaishe ta ni da Farhan, ta nuna mana dakin da Umar yake ciki amma sai naga ta rike yaran ta hana su shiga dan kar su dame shi. 

Na shiga na tsaya a gefen Farhan ina kallon sa, yana kwance kamar yadda na hango shi a mafarki na yana numfashi sama sama da oxygen mask a fuskarsa. Idonsa a rufe amma daga dukkan alamu ba bacci yake yi ba. 

Na fara takawa a hankali zuwa inda yake sai ya juyo da fuskar sa side dina sannan ya bude idonsa ya saka cikin nawa. Na karaso na tsaya gefensa sannan nace "sannu yaya Doctor. Ya jikin?" 

Ya saka hannu ya zare oxygen mask din yana huhhura hanci alamar numfashin yana masa wahala yace "Baby Dove? Are you really here?" 

Na ja kujera na zauna sannan na karbi mask din na mayar masa nace "ni ce mana. Ko ka dauka aljana ce" ya sake cire wa yace "ba aljana ba dai. Na dauka gizo kike min, ko kuma mafarki nake yi. Dama yanzu na gama mafarkin kinzo dubani, ina ta kokarin in koma baccin ko zan sake wani mafarkin amma baccin yaki zuwa" 

Nace "gani ai nazo. Abba ne yace inzo in dubaka" ya danyi murmushi kadan "cruel. Why do you have to say Abba ne yace ki zo? Me yasa ba zaki ce min ke ce kika zo da kanki ba saboda kina son ki ganni?"

Na dauke kaina gefe nace "saboda ban iya karya ba" yace "ko da kuwa karyar zata yi saving rayuwar wani, duk da dai wanin bashi da sauran muhimmanci a gurin ki?" 

Na juyo ina kallon sa nace "and who says ba ka da muhimmanci a gurina? Ni na fada maka haka?" Yace "ba fada kika yi ba. Gani nayi. That day dana ganki. I looked at your eyes and I saw nothing. There is no space left for me in your heart. A lokacin da ni kuma tawa zuciyar take cike da azaba, azabar son wadda bata son ta......."

Maganar ta tsaya masa saboda yadda numfashin sa yake fisga, nayi saurin mayar masa da oxygen mask din tare da cewa "ba ka jin magana Umar, ka daina magana" 

Ya mayar da idonsa ya rufe yana daidaita numfashin sa. Ni kuma nayi amfani da damar gurin kare masa kallo ina lura da yadda komai na jikinsa ya chanja most importantly fuskarsa da har yanzu babu gashi a jikinta duk ya aske, bayan ni na san in akwai abinda Umar yake so a jikinsa yake kuma kula da shi to sajen sa ne.

Mun jima a haka sannan ya sake bude idonsa, now looking calmer yana kallona ni kuma sai na koma kallon hannunsa na dama wanda ada yake sanye da hand band dina for many years, yanzu sai naga hannun yana looking odd kamar ba nasa ba, sai kuma naga ya daga hannun ya sake cire oxygen din, nayi sauri zan mayar masa yace "please let me talk, I want to talk to you" na sauke hannuna kasa sai yace "is he a good man?" Na juyo ina kallon sa bance komai ba sai ya sake tambaya "wannan wanda kika kira da heartbeat din ki is he a good man" 

Na fahimci wa yake nufi, na danyi tunani kadan sannan na ce "yes, I think he is" ya rufe idonsa "now I can rest in peace" na girgiza kaina "and who says you are going to die? Dan baka da lafiya ba hakan yana nufin zaka mutu bane ba, you are going to get better ka cigaba da rayuwar ka even better than you were doing, this is just a phase in your life and it will soon be over......"

Yace "without you, that is impossible..."

Na girgiza kaina da sauri "ba haka muka yi da kai ba Umar, kai ka ce min you will move on if I did, kai ka ce min zaka cigaba da rayuwar ka zaka auri mata hudu ma kace, kai ka........" 

Yace "I was lying........ You know I can lie, right?" 

Na dauke kaina daga kansa ina kallon gefe, ya kuma cewa "look at me...... does it look like I am moving on?" 

Na mike tsaye da sauri nace "well, I am. I already have moved on. Please let me go. Please don't make me feel bad. You are already making me feel bad. You were good to me na sani, amma hakan ba shi yake nufin I must stay with you ba, hakan ba shi yake nufin I owe you my life ba. Dan Allah, let me go. Pull yourself together, find someone and be happy. Happiness dinka is not tied to me kamar yadda nawa is not tied to you" 

Sai ya dauke idonsa daga kaina ya juya fuskarsa gefe, na koma na zauna a kujerar da nake ina sheshshekar kuka. Sai kuma na goge hawaye na nace "Umar. Bakada lafiya na sani. Allah ne zai baka lafiya na sani. Kuma ina yi maka addu'a kullum akan Allah ya baka lafiya ina kuma yi maka fatan dacewa a duniya da lahira. But I can't go back to being your wife. I can't. I am done"

Sai ya juyo yana kallon fuskata sannan yace "shikenan. I understand. But I just want you to promise me two things, na farko shine ba zaki kara tsayawa ki saurari wannan mutumin mai suna Bashir ba. Na biyu shine duk wanda zaki aura ba zaki bar shi yayi treating din ki bad ba. Promise me you will be happy, ba zaki kuma daukan abinda kika dauka a gida na ba" 

Na goge hawayen idona sannan na gyada kaina ina kirkirar murmushi. "Jiddan da ka sani a da ba ita bace a yanzu" yayi murmushin shima sannan da dago hannunsa ya gogi hawayen fuskata, making me feel the high temperature of his skin.

"Wannan Jiddan is acting more like Hauwa'u. Except for the tears" 

Na dan matsa da kujera ta baya, forcing his hand away from my face. Sannan na mike ina kallon sa nace "tare muka zo da Yasmin da Asad. Suna waje. In shigo da su su ganka? 

Ya gyada kansa bai ce komai ba, sai na juya da sauri zan fita sai ya kira sunana "Jidda" na juyo ina kallon sa yace "read your messages" ban ce komai ba na fita ina jin idonsa a kaina.

A waje na tarar da Asad da Yasmin har yanzu suna tare da Mama suna yi mata zance, da kuma Farhan a gefe a zaune itama tana kallon kofar dakin da na fito. Sai a lokacin na tuna tare muka shiga da ita ban kuma san sanda ta fito ba. Na kira yaran na durkusa na rike hannayensu nace "Daddy ne a wannan dakin bashi da lafiya" naga kyawawan fuskokin su sun bayyana alamar tashin hankali da damuwa a ciki. Na cigaba da magana. "Zaku shiga yanzu ku je ku ganshi, amma ban da surutu, gaishe shi kawai zakuyi ku tambaye shi ya jiki, banda labarin makaranta da kuma labarin TV game" na karasa ina kallon Asad, ya gyada kansa da sauri yana hura hanci irin na babansa. 

Sai na mike sannan na ja hannunsu zuwa kofar dakin nace su shiga, na tsaya a gurin ina kallon su har suka je inda yake sai ya mika musu hannayensa kowa ya kama daya sannan ya jasu zuwa jikinsa. Na juya na bar gurin da sauri sannan na fita daga asibitin da sauri, sai da na bude mota na shiga sannan na tuna da cewa banyi wa Mama sallama ba. 

Na kwantar da kaina a jikin kujerar motar tare da rufe idona. Ni kaina ban san tunanin me nake yi ba ban kuma san dadewar da nayi a haka ba sai jin motsin su Farhan nayi tare da yaran da na lura duk suna cikin damuwa. Farhan ta bude musu bayan motar suka shiga suka zauna sannan ta zagayo gurina tace "in ba zaki iya driving din ba ki bani inyi"

Itama da iya mota yanzu dan tana hawa ta mijinta, yanzu ma saboda cikinta ya tsufa ne shi yasa bata taho da motar ba.

Na fito na bar mata seat din driver na koma daya side din na zauna ita kuma ta tayar da motar muka dauki hanya. Har muka je gida babu wanda yayi magana. Sai da muka je yaran suka shiga ciki sannan tace min " Allah ya bashi lafiya" nace "ameen" sai tace "amma fa ni sai nake ganin ba Umar din da bane ba, duk da bai fada ba amma gani nake yi kamar ya daina halinsa" .

Na dago kai na kalle ta nayi murmushi nace "Farhan kenan. Farhan ba ki san Umar din da na sani ba. Umar zai iya yin kuka ya yi rantsuwa ya kuma yi karya a lokaci daya. Ban taba ganin mutumin da ya iya karya kamar sa ba, kamar yadda ban taba ganin mutumin da ya iya pretending kamar sa ba" 

Tayi ajjiyar zuciya. "To Allah ya zaba abinda yafi alkhairi. Ki dai yi ta addu'ar Allah ya zaba abinda yafi alkhairi. Kar ki dage wai lallai ba zaki koma ba" na harare ta ina jin haushinta "yanzu ke wa kika ji yayi maganar komawa ne ma, komawa ta gidan Umar is not an option, bana jin akwai abinda zai saka Abba ya mayar da ni ko da nace ina son komawa ballantana ma bana so. Bana so kuma in bawa Umar false hope shi yasa na gaya masa gaskiya" 

Muka rufe motar muka shiga gida, sai da Umma ta tambaye mu zancen kayan babyn sannan na tuna ashe kasuwa zan raka Farhan, nace tazo mu koma amma sai tace in bar shi duk sanda na samu dama naje can gidan ta mu je.

Ban kuma komawa duba Umar ba, sai dai kwana uku bayan nan na dawo daga gurin aiki kenan sai na tarar da Mama a gidan, tana dakin Umma tare da su Yasmin. Na durkusa na gaishe ta tana ta kallo na fuskar ta cike da sha'awa sai kuma na tambayeta mai jiki. Tace "da sauki. Ina shirin ma mayar da shi Dubai gurin likitan da ya duba shi wancan karon" na gyada kai. "Allah ya bashi lafiya" tace "ameen. Dama magana nazo muyi Jidda"

Sai na kalli Umma da ta bata rai sannan na kalli su Yasmin nace su tafi dakina su dauki books din su suyi homework. Sai da suka tafi sannan tace 

"watakila jikinki ya baki maganar da zanyi miki tun da kika ganni, watakila kuma zaki yi tunanin ban ma chanchanci in zo miki da maganar ba, in ma hakan kika yi tunani ina ganin kina da gaskiya, amma a matsayina na uwa dole in danne duk wani nauyin ki da nake ji inzo inyi miki maganar, in gwada sa'a ta watakila ko za'a dace"

"Jidda bayan barinki gidan Umar, babu abinda ya biyo bayan hakan irin tarin masifu kala kala da suka ringa sauko wa Umar, suka ringa sauko mana gabakidaya, wadansu na san kin sani wadansu kuma baki sani ba, amma ni yau ina sanar dake cewa duk duniya babu wanda ya yarda da abinda Umar ya aikata sama da ni. Ko ke da yake gayawa da bakin sa idan ya aikata laifi baki da irin tabbacin da ni nake da shi. Amma kuma wani tabbacin da nake da shi shine na cewa ya daina, Jidda Umar ya daina halinsa bayan da halin nasa ya tarwatsa duk wani abu na farin ciki a cikin rayuwar sa"

"Jidda na san kin so Umar a baya, wannan son da kika yi masa yi ne abinda ya bani kwarin gwuiwar da nazo gurin ki a yanzu nake gaya miki halin da yake ciki. Umar bashi da komai yanzu bashi da kowa a duniya, ba ma shi da wanda zai zauna ya gaya wa abinda yake ransa kamar yadda yake gaya miki a da......" 

Na katse ta ina girgiza kai "kar ki ce haka Mama. Umar yana da kowa kuma yana da komai. Yana da uwa yana da uba yana da siblings yana da abokai, yana da babban amininsa Bashir, dan na rabu da shi babu abinda zai ragu daga gare shi"

Tace "aiya, tabbas ta hausawa da suka ce rashin sani kukumi ne, a yanzu bana jin akwai wata halitta da Umar ya tsana a duniya sama da wanda kika kira da amininsa. Aminin daya taimaka gurin tarwatsewar zuriar mu. Iyayensa kuma da kike magana akai ni dai a yanzu ba zan iya tuna ranar da Umar ya zauna yayi min magana ta minti biyu ba, haka zalika yan uwan shi. Wannan bound din da kika sani a da yanzu ya gitsitstsire, yanzu babu komai sai tarin kaico da nadama"

"Jidda Umar yana nan rai a hannun Allah, bayan addu'a da kulawar likitoci babban abinda Umar yake bukata shine soyayya, kulawa, da tarairaya musamman irin na mace, abinda Umar yake bukata shine ya samu kwarin gwiwa da assurance cewa ana son shi ana bukatar sa a duniya, a bashi hope. Abubuwan da ni da babansa ba zamu iya ba. Abubuwan da babu wacce zata iya sai ke......kamar yadda nake ganin babu wacce zata iya daukan abinda kika dauka a gidan Umar haka yanzu ma nake ganin babu wadda zata iya maye gurbin ki sai ke din dai..."

Umma tayi sauri tace "ita ma ba zata koma gurbin ba. Allah ya bashi lafiya amma ba zata koma ba"

Mama tace "haba Aysha, ke fa uwa ce kuma kinsan yadda uwa take ji akan danta komai lalacewar sa kuwa, ya kamata ace kin fahimta"

Umma tace "tabbas ni uwa ce Hajiya Maryam kuma na san abinda uwa take ji akan danta, wannan kuma shi yasa nake kokarin kare tawa yar daga fadawa halaka"

Mama ta sauke idonta kasa, alamu yana nuna wa kamar hawaye ne a idonta tace "ya daina. Wallahi ya daina"

Umma tace "Allah ne masani amma mu bamu sani ba, abinda muka sani kuwa da shi muke amfani" 

Sai Mama ta gyada kanta tare da gyaran murya tace "haka ne. Babu komai. Na gode da lokacin ku da kuka bani"

Ta mike zata tafi sai na tashi da niyyar rakata amma umma ta harare ni dole na koma na zauna, ina kallo ta tafi ba tare da ko sallama tayi da jikokin ta ba. 

Banji dadin yadda Umma tayi wa Mama ba amma na fahimci hakan shine dai dai, dan ta fahimci cewa ba komai ne da danta yake so zata iya samar masa ba, ba kuma shi kadai ne ɗa a duniya ba muma duk yaya ne kuma duk iyayen mu suna son mu.

Da magrib muna tsakar gida a zaune sai ga dan aike nan wai ana sallama da Jidda, nace yaje ya tambayo waye dan ni banyi da kowa zai zo waje na ba, sai gashi ya dawo yace wai yace in na fita zan gani. Naji haushin maganar sai nace yayi tafiyarsa kawai. A raina nace ko waye in kafarsa ta kumbura saboda tsaiwa zai hakura ya tafi dan kansa. Sai kuma Umma ta kama yi min fada. "Wulakanci dai bashi da dadi. In ma ba zaki kula mutum ba gwara ki je ki sallame shi kawai"

Na tashi na saka hijab dina na fita amma tun a bakin kofa na gane waye, doctor Bashir, yana tsaye a jikin motarsa da wayarsa a hannunsa yana daddannawa. 

Ban karasa ba sai na koma cikin gida na kuwa yi sa'a Umma ta hau kai wa Abba abinci sai na dauki waya ta na kira yaya Abbah. 

"Yaya dan Allah kana kusa?" Yace "eh yanzu muke rufe shago. Wani abun ne?" Nace "dan Allah wata kwangila nake so na baka. Yara nake so ka daukar min haya as much as you can get su samo duwatsu as many as they can get akwai wani a kofar gidan nan a jikin mota suyi masa ruwan duwatsu daga shi har motar sa" 

Yayi dariya "waye kuwa wannan da za'a yi masa wannan hukuncin?" Nace "believe me yayi deserving. In da kasan waye ma da ba zaka tsaya tambaya ta ba. Amma zan ba ka labarin sa in ka shigo" 

Ai kuwa yan kwangila ta sunyi aikin su, dan daga inda nake ina jiyo karar fashewar glasses, am sure wadansu duwatsun sun samu goshinsa. Da kyar ya samu ya hau motar sa ya fice daga unguwar a guje ana binsa da ihu da ruwan duwatsu. Yaya Abbah yana shigowa Abba ya leko daga sama yana tambayar hayaniyar da yake ji a waje sai yace "wani ne yara suke yiwa ihu, ina jin barawo ne"

Sai daga baya na bashi labarin ko waye da kuma bibiyata da yake yi. Yace "da kin gaya min ai da ba da yara zan hada shi ba, da yan daba zan hada shi su dan rage masa tsaho kadan, ko kafa daya suka cire masa ai sun rage mana iri" 

Nayi dariya kawai nace "barshi da halinsa, Allah ne zai kama shi a yadda yaso a kuma lokacin da yaso" 

Sai da naje kwanciya sai na samu kaina da tunanin abinda ya faru tsakani na da Bashir, and I thought about yadda mata da yawa musamman zawarawa suke complain da cewa maza suna zuwa musu da maganganun banza. Sai naga ni so far ban samu wannan matsalar ba, for over two years da nake gida babu wanda yazo min da irin wannan maganar, me yasa?

Then I realized sai bango ya tsage kadangare yake samun hanyar shiga. Na fahimci abinda yake saka mata zawarawa da yawa fadawa wannan halin shine kwadayi da rashin dogaro da kai. Mace ta saba a gidan mijinta shi yake mata komai ita bata iya juya biyar ta koma goma, ranar da duk aka ce auren ya mutu ko kuma mijin ya mutu ta dawo gida ga yara ga rashin abinyi, wasu iyayen kuwa hatta sabulun wanka ba zasu bawa yayansu zawarawa ba. Wannan ne yake sakawa ta fara yaki halak yaki haram har ta zamanto kamar karuwar gida. Solution akan wannan shine mata mu kama sana'a, bamu san abinda gobe zata zo dashi ba

Da kuma rashin kamun kai. In kika yi shigar ki ta mutunci kika kuma kame kanki kika sauke idonki kasa dan iska tabbas zaiyi shayin yi miki magana, sai dai rikakkun yan iska irin su Bashir, su kuma irin abinda nayi wa Bashir shine maganin su.

Kwana biyu bayan nan ina off, ina kwance a dakina ina bacci sai Yasmin tazo tana tashina wai in zo inji Abba yana sitting room. Na mike zaune ina salati tare da dafe kaina da yake yi min ciwo, ina tuno mafarkin da nake yi a cikin bacci na, nayi tsaki sannan na shiga toilet na wanke fuskata na fito na tarar har lokacin Yasmin tana tsaye a tsakiyar dakin tana kallona tace "Abban fa shi da Baba ne a sitting room din" na yar da towel din hannuna ina kallon yarinyar nace "wanne Baban? Baban gidan Mama?" Tace "eh shi. Da wani ma" 

Naji jikina yayi sanyi, na saka hijab dina na fita daga dakin ƙafafuwana kamar an datsa min su saboda sagewar da kafar tayi. Na shiga na tarar da su a zazzaune da Abba da Baba da Baffa Halilu. Na zauna kusa da Abba a kasa saboda ina jin idan ina kusa da shi zan kara samun kuzari da karfin gwuiwa.

Bayan na gaishe su ne Baffa Halilu yace "Hauwa'u mune muka zo muka nemi alfarmar ganin ki a gurin mahaifin ki kuma Allah ya dora mu akan sa ya bamu damar hakan duk da shi kansa bai san abinda ya kawo mu din ba, amma dai kamar yadda hausawa suke cewa in kaga kare yana shanshana takalmi to dauka zaiyi, dan haka nasan duk da bamu fadi ba already a zuciyoyin ku kunsan abinda ya kawo mu. Ni dai a nawa bangaren zance waccan damar da na roka ki bani a wadancan shekarun kika ƙi ita na sake dawowa zan sake roƙa wannan karon ma. Kamar yadda na fada wancan karon, wannan ma haka ne, ba Umar za'a bawa dama ba ni za'a bawa dama. Ni na dauke responsibility na komai. Ina rokon ki Jidda ki daure ki koma gidan Umar" 

Duk suka yi shiru daga alama ni suke jira inyi magana amma nima sai naja baki na nayi shiru. Ina jin nauyin Baffa, ba zan iya watsa masa kasa a ido for the second time ba amma kuma ba zan iya amincewa ba, dan bana so. Nayi tunanin Abba zai shigar min kamar yadda yayi wancan karon amma sai naga shima ya ja bakin sa yayi shiru. Na lura duk jikinsa yayi wani sanyi tun sanda yaje duba Umar. 

Jin shirun yayi yawa ne ya saka baffan ya sake magana "kinyi shiru Jidda, ko ba zaki yi min wannan alfarmar ba?" Na sake yin shiru kaina a kasa. Sai ya mike tsaye "na gane amsar ki, na kuma karba tunda babu wanda zai takura miki akan hakan, sai dai ina so kiyi tunani sosai kuma kiyi addu'a. In kin chanja shawara bayan haka sai ki gaya wa mahaifin ki, mu kuma zamuyi farin ciki idan hakan ta kasance"

Sai daya fita sannan Baba yayi magana yace "Hauwa'u. Idan da ace Umar din da ne kike gudu da dukkan mu babu wanda ba zai goya miki baya ba akan hakan. Amma ina so ki sani kamar yadda na tabbatar cewa zan mutu haka na tabbatar cewa Umar ya daina halinsa, saboda tsahon shekara biyun nan babu abinda nake yi bayan bibiyar lamuransa dan in fanshe laifina na baya, amma ko sai daya banga ya hau kan waccan hanyar da ya bari. Na kuma sani cewa Umar zai iya samun wata matar kamar yadda ke ma zaki iya samun wani mijin, amma ni nafi son ke din ki koma saboda Allah ne ya shirya Umar amma ke ce sanadiyyar shiryuwar sa, me yasa ba zaki zamanto kuma wadda zata ji dadin shiryuwar ta sa ba? Kamar yadda yaya Halilu ya fada, idan kin amince zamu ji dadi"

Sai ya tashi shima ya fita. 

Har lokacin ban dago kaina ba, na jira inji comment din Abba amma sai kawai yace min in tashi in shiga ciki.

Dakina na koma na kwanta telling myself cewa bacci zan koma amma ni kaina nasan yaudarar kaina nake yi. Na gama juyi na na tashi nayi wanka na shiga dakin Umma na kunna tv, ina nan har dare, har yaya Abbah yazo ya karaci hirarsa shi kadai ban ka shi ba ya hakura ya tafi. Na duba littafan yara sannan na shirya su suka kwanta nima na kwanta sai na jawo wayata ina tuna abinda Umar ya ce min ranar da naje duba shi, "read your messages" 

Na nemo number din sa da take can kasan chats dina naga messages wajen 50, na bude na koma tun daga farkon su na fara karantawa har zuwa na karshe. Labari ne ya bani, kamar mai rubuta littafi, duk da dai na fahimci labaran nasa ba'a jere suke ba amma sun fahimtar dani sakon da yake son sanar da ni. labarin duk abinda ya faru da shi tun daga ranar da na bar gidan sa har zuwa ranar da ya rubuta message na karshe wanda shine ranar da aka kwantar da shi a asibiti. 

Yanzu na fahimci abinda ya faru tsakanin sa da Bashir, na fahimci abinda Mama take nufi a maganganun ta, na fahimci abinda Baba yake nufi a nasa maganganun. And I decided zanyi istikhara akan maganar komawa gidan Umar ko akasin haka, dan a zahirin gaskiya duk da na karanta kuma na fahimta amma banji ina son in koma din ba.

And then I did it. I prayed for days about it and made up my mind. But banje gurin Abba ba sai shi ya kira ni and he said. 

"Akan maganar tsohon mijin ki, idan kin amince zaki koma zanji dadi"

Sai na bashi amsar da na riga na yanke. 

"Abba in dai ka amince, kuma Umma ma ta amince, to nima na amince zan koma" 

Yayi murmushi. "Mun gode Allah yayi miki albarka" 

Nayi murmushi nima. "Ameen Abba. Ni ce da godiya. Amma kuma Umma bata so ai" 

Ya danyi shiru yana tunanin sannan yace "ki barni da ita"

And I left them to decide on their own. Na dauka abin zai zo da sauki tunda nasan yadda Umma take biyayya ga Abba, amma sai ta kekasa kasa tace ita sam bata yarda ba, suka yi ta bugawa har da gayyato yan sulhu su Aunty Afia wadda ta goyi bayan Umma, ni kuma aka kira ni nima nace ban yarda ba sai Umma ta yarda tukunna. 

A lokacin ne kuma aka mayar da Umar Dubai gurin likita 

A karshe dai bayan an gama kai ruwa rana sai Umma ta amince akan sharadin cewa Umar zai je ayi masa test din dukkan sexually transmitted diseases, sai an tabbatar he is clean sannan za'a mayar da auren, sannan kuma za'a rubuta takardar yarjejeniya a saka hannu cewa in dai aka sake ganin wani abu da yake da dangantaka da waccan halayyar tasa to karshen auren kenan. 

Suka gama rubuce rubucen su da sake saken hanunsu sannan ta yarda, pending in Umar ya samu lafiya anyi masa kuma tests din da tace ayi.

A ranar da suka gama wannan yarjejeniyar da dare na samu kira daga number da na manta ma nayi saving "Dubai". 

Na juya idona na ajiye ta a raina ina cewa "marar kunya dai ba zai chanja halin sa ba" 

Sai da na gama abinda nake yi ina replying messages sannan naga wani message din daga gare shi. 

"Salam. Thank you for another chance at life. You surely will not regret it" 

Sai dana gama replying dukkan messages dina sannan nazo na bashi amsa.

"Another chance was given, but not to you. Baba da Baffa na bawa"

"Cruel. Can't you even lie to make me feel better?"

"Good night"

Sai na kashe data ta na juya nayi kwanciya ta 

Yes, na amince zan koma gidan Umar amma sam banyi masa da wasa ba, I made sure ya san cewa komawa gidan sa ba zabi na bane ba biyayya zanyi, ya kuma fahimci cewa baiyi deserving chance ba albarkacin masu albarka yaci, ya kuma tabbatar cewa the moment da ya sake wasa da damarsa I will call off the marriage, kuma shi da kansa ya tabbatar cewa Jiddan yanzu ba irin ta da bace ba, akwai banbanci mai yawa a tsakanin su. 

Ya samu lafiya a asibitin da yake a can, yana kokarin dawowa ne mu kuma muka yi bikin Surayya anan Nigeria. Dama ta dade da kawomin anko nayi kuma tun daga shirye shiryen bikin na fahimci ba karamin biki suke shiryawa ba, da bikin kuma naje mata komai and I learnt that lecturer din ta ta aura. Ranar dinner kuma na tabbatar da irin soyayyar da take tsakanin su dan ko makaho ya shafa zai tabbatar, daga inda muke zaune ma muma iya hango yadda suke cikin fara'a da annashuwa, gata fes da ita ba wanda zaice ma ta taba aure in ba sani akayi ba, kuma gashi dama ba ɗa ne da ita ba. 

Mijin nata mai wasa da dariya sosai, ana tsakiyar program ya katse ya saka aka saka masa wakar "gimbiya" ta hamisu breaker ya tashi yayi wa amaryarsa. And I can see how happy she looks, how happy she is. And I thought, no matter how hard your life is, no matter how dark your past is, in dai ka mika lamuran ka ga Allah, there will be light at the end of your tunnel. 

Sai kuma nayi tunanin tsohon mijinta da tasa rayuwar, ko menene zai zamanto nasa karshen? Ko menene ubangiji ya shirya masa? Watakila idan ubangiji ya so shi da rahama sai ya bude masa ayoyinsa kamar yadda ya bude wa Umar har ya zama sanadiyyar shiryuwar sa, in kuma bai so shi da rahama ba sai ya bar shi ya yi ta sabon sa har mutuwa ta tarar da shi.

Ina kokarin fita daga gurin taron ne na hadu da kawata Ramlah, muka gaisa duk da dai dama muna zumunci da ita dan kwanan baya ma ta sayi kayan kitchen sosai a gurina lokacin tana shirye shiryen haihuwa. Yanxu kuma ashe tana cikin ya uwan ango. Sai na dauke ta a mota ta zan rage mata hanya zuwa gidan ta muna tafiya muna hira, anan ne take min tsegumi. 

"Jidda kin san kawarki kuwa tayi cikin shege?" Na kalle ta briefly, "wacce kawar ta wa?" Tace "wacce kawar taki ce kuwa zata yi ciki in banda Maryam gayu?" Na lumshe idona na bude nace "ya Salam. Ke ya akayi kika sani?" Tace "ana ta maganar fa, mutane da yawa sun gaya min kinsan maganar duniya bata buya musamman saboda abin ya faru ne gab da bikinta, dan haka mijin da zata aura ya fasa yan uwan sa kuma suka yi ta yawo da maganar a gari, sai ranar nan kawai na hadu da ita da uban hijabi nace magana ta tabbata kenan dan ni dai kam in ba akan sallaya ba ban taba ganin Maryam da hijabi ba"

Na girgiza kaina "Aiya. Allah yasa sanadiyyar shiryuwar ta kenan. Allah kuma ya kare mu da iyalan mu daga fadawa irin wannan halakar" 

Kafin Umar ya dawo na kara karfafa business dina, a lokacin da Farhan ta haihu muna ta shirye shiryen suna muna ta fama da tailors akan dinkunan mu, sai wani business idea ya zo min kuma na fada wa Farhan bayan yan taron suna sun watse. 

Business din shine na dresses, ba wai abayas ko sauran kayan sawa yan kanti ba, a'a, zamu ke siyan materials muna dinkawa da kanmu in different sizes muna siyarwa. Farhan ta iya dinki, kuma a yanzu haka babu abinda take yi, dan haka ita ce zata zama tailor din mu. 

Munsan mutane are going to like it. And we are determine to make it successfull in sha Allah. So now *Jidda's Signature* have three branches *Jidda's Furnitures*, *Jidda's Kitchen* and *Jidda's Clothing* and that is just the beginning.

Ranar da su Umar zasu dawo ya kira ni ya gaya min, ya kuma fada min lokacin da jirgin su zai sauka sannan ya bukaci muje ni da yara mu tare shi. Ban je ba, sai dai na shirya yara sun tafi. Suna sauka bayan ya ga yara babu ni sai ga wayar sa. 

"Baki zo ba"

"Dama ban ce zanzo ba"

"Yanzu ba zaki iya zuwa ki tari mijinki da ya dawo daga rashin lafiyar da ya kusa rasa ransa ba"

"Ex-husband"

"Husband to be"

"Oho dai ai ba'a daura ba. Still not husband"

"Soon Baby Dove, soon zan cire wannan prefix din. Na tsani X din nan, da son samu nane ma da an cire ta daga cikin alphabets" 

Nace "till then dai. Har yanxu dai akwai X a cikin sunan" 

"Ba wannan ba ma, me yasa baki zo din ba"

"Ina busy ne, ina da abubuwan yi da yawa"

Yayi dariya "wannan jan aji wannan jan aji, naji kuma na dauka. Tunda ke baki zo ba ni sai inzo ai. Please kin yarda in zo?" 

Na tabe baki "yanzu ina wani abu amma, sai dai ko zuwa gobe ko jibi" 

Yace "haba baiwar Allah. Wai an cire miki tausayi na ne daga ranki? Ko kina so daga nan a mayar da ni asibiti ne?"

Na zare ido "shi dama ciwon naka haka yake hawa yake sauka? Na fara tunanin anya kuwa na gaskiya ne?"

Ya rantse "wallahi da gaske bani da lafiya"

Yadda yayi rantsuwar ya saka ni yin dariya, shima sai yayi dariyar. Sannan kuma yace "please inzo in ganki?"

Na daina dariyar nace "in busy yanzu, sai dai kazo da dare" 

Daga nan na ajiye wayar na juya na cigaba da abinda nake yi na order din wasu dinner sets masu kyau daga India a laptop dina.

Sai daren sannan ya kira ni yace gasu sun zo. "Har da yan rakiyar zance nazo" 

Na san su waye yan rakiyar ta sa, na sake zama na kara bata lokaci sannan na goga turare kadan na saka hijab na fita. 

A waje na gansa a tsaye a jikin motar sa exactly inda ya tsaya ranar da ya fara zuwa gidan, sai dai wannan karon hannayensa rike suke da na yayansa da suke tsaye a sides dinsa. Ya kara fari sosai, sai na kasa tantance a tsakanin sa shida street light din gurin waye yake haske wani. Ko dan fararen kayan da ya saka ne. 

Su Yasmin suka sake shi suka taho gurina da gudu kamar wadanda suka jima basu ganni ba, a tare suke bani labari abinda Daddyn su ya siyo musu a asibiti. Sai na tura su gida nace suje su nuna wa Umma. 

Bayan sun tafi sai ya karaso in da nake tsaye yana rarraba idonsa akan fuska ta yace "kin san abinda na tuna yanzu?" Nace "ranar da ka fara zuwa gidan nan?" Yayi murmushi "yes, but Akwai bambanci da yau" nace "menene banbancin? Su Yasmin?" Yace "no, you looked so cute then" na bata rai "me kake nufi, yanzu fa?" Yace "yanzu, you look so beautiful" 


Anyi dukkan tests din da Umma ta bukata, cikin ikon Allah they all came back negative. 

Su Baba sun so su saka tariya ta da wuri tunda suna ganin babu amfanin jan lokaci, a ganin su tunda mun riga mun san komai akan juna bama bukatar fahimtar juna kuma again, but ni da Umar sai muka ce muna bukatar time. Ni a nawa bangaren ina buƙatar time din getting use to the pact that Umar is back into my life. 

Shi kuma Umar a nasa lissafin yana plan ne na komawa karatu inda yake son chanja specialty dinsa daga gynecology zuwa cardiology. Ya fara processing, sannan bayan ya tuntube ni kuma na amince sai muka fara nemar min nima fita karatu. Plan dinsa shine da an daura aure mu tafi, sannan muna can zamu yi shawarar garin da zamu zauna idan mun dawo Nigeria dan yana son mu bar Kano sai dai da ziyara.

Wannan time din da muka samu shi ya bamu damar kara karantar juna, I noticed the changes in him and he noticed the changes in me, and we are both happy with the changes. Sai da muka gama shirye-shiryen tafiyar mu kaf sannan muka sanar da ranar da muke so a saka ta daurin aure, aside from which mun ce bama buƙatar komai tunda ba wai jeren kaya za'a yi min in tare ba, tafiya kawai zamu yi da an daura shikenan.

He asked me da kansa

"Nawa kike so kuɗin sadaki?" 

Nace "kamar gaske. Kai ba dan gata bane ba? Sadakin ma ai biya maka ake yi ko?" Yace "not this time. This time ni zan biya da kaina a cikin kudin da na samu da gumi na saboda kar nan gaba ayi min gori ace bani na biya ba biya min akayi. Haka lefe, ko dan kunne ba'a siya min ba."

Nayi dariya "ashe gorin yayi maka ciwo kenan. Ka bayar da duk abinda Allah ya hore maka, the smaller the better haka Annabi yace" 

Yace "Nagode ranki ya dade. Sai dai sizes ne na undies nace bara in sake tambaya inji units nawa zan kara akan wanda na sani?" Ya fada da dariya a muryarsa. 

Na bata rai "goma, goma zaka kara" ya bude ido "nooo, bai kai goma ba Allah" nace "oho sai kayi guessing, ni ban sani ba. In ka siyo wadanda basuyi dai dai ba kai zaka je ka mayar da kanka" yace "wannan duk mai sauki ne sai in baki ki siyo kayan ki. Duk randa kika saka kuma sai in gani in tabbatar sunyi dai dai ko basuyi dai dai ba"

Nayi shiru bance komai ba yace "are you afraid" nace "haba dai, tsoro kuma? Wanne dare ne jemage bai gani ba? Ni kam ai naci dubu sai ceto" yayi dariya kadan "we will see about that. In cika baki ne in ma da gaske ne duk zamu gani when the time comes" 

Na sake shiru, in reality nace I am fine but a zuciyata ina jin tsoro, tsoron menene rayuwa ta tanadar min a gidan Umar for the second time. Can I handle it this time? Ban sani ba Allah kadai ya sani, kuma da shi na dogara and I know He will see me through it all.

Ganin maganar tana neman saka ni in a bad mood sai ya chanja maganar ta hanyar cewa "ina saurayin ki? I can already feel his heart breaking to pieces, ɓas ɓas ɓas" nayi dariya sannan na hade rai nace "don't make fun of him. Nima tawa zuciyar breaking take yi ai, ban san ma ta yadda zan fara bashi hakuri da lallashin....." Na daga hannu "bana son ji please. Can we please not talk about this again?" Nace "kai ka fara maganar ai"

Sai na tambaye shi kuma akan feelings dinsa akan businesses din da nake yi yanzu. Sai yace

"Ni bani da problem da haka, in dai har kasuwancin ki ba zai shiga cikin most important things na auren mu ba zaki iya cigaba da kayan ki. Ni a ganina ma duk namijin da zai hana matarsa sana'a ko aiki to bashi da dabara, bashi da lissafi, ba wai dan samun saukin responsibilities din gida ba, ba kuma dan kana saka ran tayi maka wani abu ba, amma Independent wife is a security, ba ka san me Allah ya shirya maka a gaba ba akwai karayar arziki akwai kora daga aiki da sauran su, bayan haka kuma akwai mutuwa. Zaka iya faduwa ka mutu anytime. Duniya kuma yanzu babu zumunci babu mai rike maka yayanka idan baka da rai, amma matarka in tana aiko ko sana'a ko both, then tabbas zata rike yayanta"

Ranar Friday aka daura auren mu da Umar for the second time, after exactly three years da rabuwar mu, kamar yadda auren farko ma aka daura shi ranar Friday exactly nine years ago, saboda samun albarkar ranar. 

Ana daurawa Umar ya kira wayar yayansa, yace da Yasmin "you remember when I promised you zan zo gidan Abba in dauke ku gabakidayan ku in mayar da ku gida?" Tayi shiru tana tunani daga dukkan alamu ta manta sanda yayi wancan alkawarin, sai kuma ta gyara kai da sauri tace "yes, Daddy na tuna" yayi dariya "yanzu finally zan cika miki wannan alkawarin" 

Yara sai murna, kamar zasuyi abinda hausawa suke cewa za'a zuba ruwa a kasa a sha. Sai dai kuma murnar tasu ta koma ciki washegari da suka gan mu a airport bisa rakiyar kusan dukkan yan'uwa da abokan arzikin mu wadanda suka dauki rakiyar mu airport a matsayin bikin tariya ta, da haka kusan kowa yaje yara da manya. Su Yasmin suka tabbatar tafiya zamuyi mu bar su a Nigeria, sai kuka, Asad har da kwanciya a kasa yana bori. 

Na tashe shi na jawo su jikina trying to explain to them. 

"Ba fa tafiya zamuyi mu bar ku ba, zamu je ne mu samo mana gidan da zamu zauna a can muyi registration din makarantar mu sannan kuma mu nema muku school din da za'a saka ku sai mun gama sai mu aiko muku tickets ku biyo mu kuma"

Asad ya goge hawayensa yace "gobe zaku aiko mana?" Na girgiza kaina "ba gobe ba, amma very soon, musamman in aka gaya mana cewa ba kwa kuka"

Umar yazo ya durkusa a baya na shima yace "and guess what? In munje can we are going to be living together, da mommy da Daddy da yaya Yasmin da yaya Asad da kuma new baby" 

Asad ya bude ido "ina babyn yake?" Umar yace "yana nan, sai kunje zaku ganshi a can" Yasmin tace "na gane ai, yanzu an dauka muku aure kun zama miji da mata" na dafe kaina ina mamakin yaran yanzu, komai ake yi suna sane kuma suna ganewa. 

Umar ya goge mata hawayen fuskarta yace "that's right mamana, ki kula da kanki da kaninki kinji? We will send for you as soon as possible".

Muna ta sallama da mutane sai ga Diyam nan Sadauki ya kawo ta, dama tayi min alkawarin zata zo. Suna fitowa daga motar na tafi gurin su, Umar ma ya biyo ni sai dai muna zuwa ya tsaya yana kallon Sadauki sannan ya juyo ya kalle ni sai na rufe baki ina dariya, ganin yana kokarin bata rai sai nayi introducing dinsu.

"Wannan ita ce Diyam, my best friend, wannan kuma sunansa Alhaji Aliyu Umar Abatcha, her husband"

"Her Husband!" Umar ya maimaita. Na sake yin dariya, sai Sadauki da Diyam suka kalli juna cikin rashin fahimta, Diyam tayi min alamar tambaya da hannunta sai nayi mata alamar zan mata bayani later. 

Umar ya mika wa Sadauki hannu suka gaisa ni kuma na rungume Diyam nace "thank you. Thank you so much sister" ta dago ni tana murmushi tace "you are welcome. Sai munzo suna"

Bayan sun tafi mun bar gurin su Umar yace min "you baby girl have a lot of explanations to do" 

Few minutes after that jirgin mu ya tashi zuwa garin Lagos, daga nan kuma almost immediately muka sake shiga wani jirgin zuwa garin Belmopan na kasar Belize a North America.

Sai da muka zauna muka gama settling sannan Umar yace min "baki tambayeni dalilin da yasa na zabar mana Belize ba?" Nace "I thought jami'ar ka duba da kuma kudin makaranta da cost of living" yace "yes, da wadannan ma" sai ya saka yatsunsa a cikin nawa ya rintse su together yace "da kuma kasancewar akwai honeymoon spots a kasar sosai" 

Na rufe idona for some seconds sannan kuma na bude su na sauke a cikin nasa, ya jingina kansa da jikin kujerarsa ya zuba min ido, mun jima a haka sannan yace "na sani, nasan ba zan taba goge laifuffukana a gurin ki ba, na san ba zan taba samun 💯 trust din ki ba, amma ina rokon ki bani damar gwadawa. Na san kin karanta messages dina, na kuma san hakan yana daga cikin dalilan da yasa kika sake karbar aurena a karo na biyu duk kuwa da nasan can cikin zuciyarki ba lallai ne kin yarda da abubuwan da na gaya miki ba dan maganganu na basu da ma'ana a gurin ki, ba kuma zan rantse miki ba dan rantsuwa ta bata da ma'ana a gurin ki a yanzu, abinda zanyi shine zan tabbatar miki through actions, in har kin bani dama Jidda I will be glad to spend the rest of my life mending my mistakes. Kin yarda zaki bani dama?"

Na cire idona daga cikin nasa na mayar da su kan hannayen mu da suke rike cikin na juna, sannan na dago kai na kalle shi nace 

"Allah ya tabbatar mana da alkhairi"

Yayi murmushi, naji hannuna yana kaikayi ina so in shafa sajen fuskar sa amma banyi hakan ba, instead sai na kara cusa hannun cikin rigata. Amma kuma sai na mayar masa da murmushin sa. Sai shi ya rigani abinda naso yi, ya dora hannun sa yana shafa gefen fuskata a hankali sannan yace "I know we promised ba zamu sake maganar baya ba but there is something that I want to tell you. About yarinyar nan, Asabe, nothing happened" 

Na tsayar da idona cikin nasa trying to read them, sai naga banga komai ba, he is telling the truth. Na gyada kai ina jin wani nauyi yana sauka daga kan zuciyata. Yayi murmushi tare da kissing goshina. 

"Thank you" 

Nace "there is something nima da nake so in gaya maka" na kura da yadda ya bani attention sosai, na cigaba "about yarinyar nan, Mammy, na san cewa asiri akayi maka" ya bude ido "what? Da gaske? Ya akayi kika sani?" Na ce "na sani tun a lokacin, ni na tone asirin da hannuna a gaban falon mu, shine daya daga cikin dalilan da yasa ban rabu da kai ba a lokacin" 

Ya sauke ajjiyar zuciya tare da juya kansa yana kallon gajimaren da muke ketawa ta ciki a sararin subahana. Ya jima a haka sannan ya juyo, and I saw something changed in his appearance. Kamar ya kara samun assurance akan kansa. Ya rike daya hannun nawaa cikin dayan nasa "thank you, thank you so much. You have no idea how much this means to me" 

Na yi murmushi na zare hannuna daga cikin nasa na bude handbag dina na dauko wani dan karamin box, ya cire seat belt dinsa yana kara matsowa kusa dani "menene wannan din?" Na mika masa "bude ka gani. Naka ne" naga farin ciki ya bayyana a fuskarsa tun kafin ya bude din, yayi ta juya shi a hannunsa sannan ya bude. 

Abin hannu ne na azurfa wanda na bayar musamman akayi masa shi, anyi chains din in the shape of little hearts da suka sarke da juna, a heart din tsakiya kuma an rubuta sunana "little dove". 

Ya dago kai yana kallona idonsa yana kyalli, nace "na biya wanda na tsinka" 

Yama rasa mai zai ce min, sai ya jawo ni ya zagaye ni da hannayensa ya matse ni tsam a kirjinsa sannan ya kai bakin sa dai dai kunnena yace "thank you. Thank you so much. For everything"

A hankali na zare hannuna da nake boyewa a cikin rigata wanda yasha kunshi, na dora shi akan fuskarsa na shafa feeling the familiar soft and silky texture of his beard.

Ya sauke ajjiyar zuciya a hankali yace



*Alhamdulillah*



Dukkan godiya ta tabbata ga Allah, sannan kuma gare ku masoyana dan bani ma da kalaman da zanyi amfani da su gurin gode muku. Sai fatan alkhairi a gare mu baki daya. Maman Maama ta gode, ta gode.

Abinda na rubuta dai dai Allah hada mu a ladan, inda nayi kuskure Allah ya yafe mana bakiɗaya. 

Littafin Jidda already har yayi replacing A'isha Humairah a cikin zuciyar Maman Maama, and that should mean a lot a gurin wadanda suka sanni.

Kamar yadda na fada ranar nan a group, littafin Jidda shine littafi na na karshe a duniyar online writing. Wadanda nayi guda biyar Allah ya saka musu albarka. 

Ba zance na daina rubutu gabakidaya ba tunda writing is my hobby, but na daina a whatsapp, in ma Allah ya bani ikon rubuta wani littafin to zai zama published on paper back da kuma sauran writers applications kamar Okada.

Littattafai na biyar duk zan saka su a Okada soon ga masu bukata.

But I will always be online a WhatsApp da Wattpad, we can contact each other muyi zumunci. 

Da haka nake mana fatan alkhairi duniya da lahira. 

Zuwa ga wadanda suka karanta JIDDA basu biya ba, littafin Jidda na siyarwa me dan haka akwai hakki na a jikin ku, ko ku biya ni a nan ko kuma a can.

Zuwa ga wadanda suka biya kuma suke fita dashi. Kunci amana ta kuma ku da Allah.

Zuwa ga sauran masoya na, ILYSM and I will surely miss all of you.

Umarul Faruq da Jiddatul Khair will miss you too. 

*Note: Littafin Jidda is still for sale*

Ga masu son siya zasu iya turo kudin su #300 zuwa wannan account din

0779484494
Nafisa Tafida Usman
Access Bank

Sai su turo evidence of payment zuwa wannan number din ta hanyar WhatsApp
08067081020

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Please banda kira, WhatsApp only


Bye for now.

Maassalam


Forgive the typos...............

Ga masu son siya zasu iya turo kudin su #300 zuwa wannan account din

0779484494
Nafisa Tafida Usman
Access Bank

Sai su turo evidence of payment zuwa wannan number din ta hanyar WhatsApp
08067081020

Wadanda basu da account kuma zasu turo MTN recharge card na 300 zuwa wannan number din 08067081020

Please banda kira, WhatsApp only